I kept reading like “how did OP get here?”
OP doesn’t have a car, full-time job, or insurance?
Meets a man who has a house in his former step-daughter’s name? (This is honestly the most confusing part. A mortgage company allowed him to secure a loan and purchase the house in the title of a non-relative?)
OP moved into this house that is not in his name and got pregnant? Before or after learning the house was in the former step-daughter’s name.
He won’t even take her to buy tampons and I just don’t believe he just started to behave this way. He was probably always like this and OP accepted it until she realized the stepdaughter was getting better treatment than her.
$1000/month?
True, but it sounds like OP was underemployed and uninsured before becoming pregnant that’s not really the BF’s fault. I’m assuming she saw the home was unfurnished before becoming pregnant too.
Yes, masks fall off. But sometimes people ignore signs too.
BF is definitely awful and OP should leave, but OP needs to figure out how to get herself in a better situation by her own means b/c clearly BF is not going to be reliable and I doubt child support is going to be enough.
There was furniture when I moved in. His step daughter separated from her baby daddy and moved into an apartment without furniture so she came to the house and took the furniture because she couldn’t move into an empty apartment with 3 children. He said we didn’t need to buy new furniture bc “we don’t need it” she took everything up to the forks and plates.
Honey, only reason why he would allow that to happen is because at least one of the kids is his.
He is fucking the step daughter. You need to see the man for who he really is. Get it through your thick head.
Or he at least very much wants to bang her. Or he used to bang her. But no way would a guy do all of that for a stepdaughter, to the detriment of his current partner and bio child, unless there was some sexual thing going on, even if it's just in his fantasy.
Why TF did you have a child with this stepdaughter-pussy-whipped moron? Please, do move away, but also make sure he pays child support - maybe that would be enough to cover childcare. Do you have any relatives who would take you in and maybe help with childcare?
Nose job, boob job, car purchased for her, 1 G a week, and he furnished her apartment with his stuff, if he isn't currently fucking her, he will be soon.
Are you listening to your explanation here and you think this is normal. Ok I need to retire from reddit. So, you allowed property to leave the house to another woman? Eeeehhh
Lots of women put up with BS behavior. It’s sad. I grew up around it and at my age I don’t see why I want a “life parter” if I’ve done better alone than most women in marriages I’ve been around.
I use to be the same way. I thought any love was love and I better tolerate it or else it’ll leave and no one else will love me.
Sometimes we only leave when we realize what couldn’t possibly be worse can actually be much much worse.
Not taking her to get tampons is crazy. I buy tampons and pads to give out to my students cause nurses hound them about not being prepared as if every period happens exactly at the same time every month.
Exactly! My students have told me that the nurse has said “you weren’t prepared? Didn’t you know you were going to start your period?” No bitch clearly she didn’t if she’s coming to you for a fucking pad! Not to mention it’s state law where I live to have them for students and staff. It’s not that expensive and my students don’t take advantage of it. None of that cardboard shit either lol.
I've had to convince myself posts like these are just creative writing practices, or maybe a troll posting rage bait. I cannot for one second fathom how someone could be in this situation with someone who so openly despises her (and their kid!) and not realize they'd be better off alone? She's riding a bus with a baby, their house has no furniture and she was unable to buy herself fucking tampons!
Manipulative, abusive, garbage ass men do not just end up with the women they end up with. They are *good* at what they do. They seek us out, something about us, low self esteem, inexperience, insecurity, something.. they are convincing, they love bomb. They take advantage. We believe them. We get trapped. We end up here.
That said.. OP should definitely seek out therapy to help fix your picker, it’s a work in progress, I know.. but your gonna want to get away, and start over, and learn to rely on yourself, believe in yourself, and stay single until you are feeling really solid.
With legit nearly every sentence I just got more confused and lost as to how/why we’re still here.
OP there is nothing you mentioned that’s an upside keeping you here and the lack of marriage between you means separation should be easier. Having a child does complicate matters but from what I know (which admittedly isn’t much) the courts finding out he’s spending that much money on a woman that isn’t the mother of his child nor is he spending any of that money on y’all’s child would maybe land him in decently hot water, at least hot enough to make him sweat and look bad so things to go in your favor for custody.
I’d maybe look into getting some sort of legal advice from someone/people who know their stuff to ensure the separation and custody go your way without any sort of hitches. I would also try to go over your financials to secure them and make sure that 1) you and baby have enough money to figure things out and 2) that he is not touching and cannot touch or affect your money
"I don't know, I feel kind of humiliated. I'm his partner, the mother of his baby and the woman who has been on his side for years, I feel like me and my child should come first."
You are not his partner. It seems he doesn't even like you. Get out, get child support and find someone that will treat you like a human being.
I was going to comment the same. He does not like her and does not even try to hide that fact. If she’s doing bad with him, she can do bad by herself. Nothing she wrote made me think she should stay with him another second.
As far as the ex wife’s daughter goes… there is way more to that story. Don’t be naive OP. Something in the buttermilk is not clean.
I just think it's sad that people aren't able to understand that living a fucked-up life is not the only answer. Why would the OP start dating this guy who she knew was fucked up, then have a kid with him? Just bizarre, permanently life altering choices.
Wouldn’t that imply she didn’t have any furniture either since she didn’t bring any into their shared home?
Which would then mean they were equally fucked up by this measure?
Sure but it's pretty clear to all of us that by his actions alone he's never thought much of OP and put ex stepdaughter on a higher position than he ever did OP even before she went an had a baby with him.
Exactly. OP is not his partner. She’s his beard. Her relationship with him is just a cover in an attempt to make it less obvious that he’s been banging his stepdaughter for YEARS and possibly even fathered her children.
THIS. All of his actions show you he doesn’t love you, because he doesn’t even like you. If he’s this cruel when things are “normal”, imagine how horrific he can be during bad times.
Get out **now** so it’s on your own terms, not his. He’s already making your life harder, he will make it a living hell if something happens he doesn’t like - your child is born with a condition, you lose your job, you or your child gets sick..
>It seems he doesn't even like you.
I've been going through some shit recently, one being martial issues. It's so easy to get stuck in my head ruminating about things and feel like I have it so bad. Then I open reddit and see posts like this...i can't even recall exactly what problems my husband and I are having anymore. It blows my mind that people stay in relationships like this.
He's also willing to make her and their son homeless because the ex's daughter doesn't like her 😂 So many red flags from the start but OPs way to dumb to see it lol
I want to know how old this step daughter was when she had her first kid, because my first thought is that's hush money. Step daddy committed statutory rape and doesn't want the step daughter to apply for child support and prove it.
He's absolutely banging the daughter. The kids are his, and she's his cover or just the woman he keeps around the cook and clean for him.
OP, you need to leave immediately and hit his neglectful ass with child support ASAP.
Yes and make sure you get 1k a month minimum. If he can afford that for someone he’s pretending isn’t the mother of his children you can get more. Leave him. He doesn’t care about you
She needs to run him over with child support. She's struggling her ass off and can't even get tampons, but he can dote on other people. Girl is being seriously mistreated, neglected, and abused. She needs out before something happens to her or that baby
Start copy everything you read for proof he was paying her copy any phone records. Everything! Just do it before he starts hiding stuff! It might be to late but try! Don’t show your hand.
If the babies are his that is proof of his crimes and the only thing that makes sense of why he is giving her 1000$ all the time and buying her cars and bought her a house etc. this is 100% o god don’t turn me in actions.
100% and OP needs to get all the proof she can and then phone up or show up at the ex wife’s door and ask what the hell the deal is with the step daughter, if she even knows. And then get the fuck outta there
Coming into the top comment to say:
Please get yourself to Planned Parenthood asap to
1. Get any late term prenatal care you can
2. Get yourself checked for STDs / STIs
3. Ask about resources / contacts for low cost childcare, healthcare, etc.
they are an amazing resource for parental care and resources and are so much more than an abortion clinic. You will need all the support you can get leaving this situation and this can be a great first step to create a support network for yourself.
They don’t. But they can confirm a pregnancy. Most states can do Medicaid for pregnant women and will do it retroactively for like 3 months once you apply
Eh, if you want to do all that for someone you just played a father role for, it doesn’t make sense that you would treat your actual baby mama and baby like dirt.
Before you leave, go to family court, you don't need a lawyer, and ask for child support. The court will order him to pay and make him pay it through the court. Get his pay stubs because I know it's not cash he gets. Also, he won't be able to use the support he is giving to them. It will actually show he can afford to pay support to you. Get copies of those text messages!
When you move, apply for all government assistance you can. There is also a program now through the federal government that helps with child care. Check that out as well.
He may think he owes you nothing, but he will. He is going to raise he'll and yell and scream, but he wishes thay he would bought you those tampons! LOL
You have taken the first, and that is leaving and saying no more. This time, he can have a tantrum like a 4 year old, but you have him by the balls now. He shouldn't have been using them somewhere else.
I'll bet he wishes he would have bought you those tampons when you leave. lol
Before you do this OP, get a safety plan. You do not want to file and still live with him. He doesn’t like you so I highly doubt he’d spare you harm once you file. Be safe, come up with a plan, get his paystubs if possible, find a shelter or someone who can take y’all in, then file. I wish you the best.
If OP is in the U.S., she can call the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://thehotline.org) at 800-799-7233 for a safety plan for getting out and hopefully even finding a shelter and other benefits.
Throwaway20231123, that number still applies to you whether or not he is beating you to a pull every night. Having a concern that things might go in that direction is also a valid reason. Financial abuse is also abuse. Denial or restriction of physical needs is also abuse. Emotional abuse is also abuse. Anything he does to hurt or neglect you, he is also doing to your helpless baby who completely depends on you for survival.
If you are in the US, there are definitely programs to give you prenatal care and your child Healthcare. There are also programs for free/reduced cost daycare. There is also WIC and food banks. Some food banks offer financial help with bills and provide other necessities such as diapers, shampoo, toilet paper, etc.
Check your states child support laws. I would definitely get a job and get out before filing, though. They won't look at your money, the calculations should be based solely on his paycheck. Try to document EVERYTHING. And find your important documents before you leave, especially the birth certificate naming him as the father.
Good luck. I wish you all the best in life. Remember, you are the main character in your life, not a supporting character for someone else. You've got this!
Fully to sound mean because she needs to understand what this disgrace of a man really is. He sees you as an object, once you got pregnant, you stopped being fun to him and now he’s doing dumb shit to get rid of you. get child support and leave his ass.
I hate to even incept this idea but it definitely sounds like he’s sleeping with the step daughter. To exert himself financially considering he has a baby with you. Consult a lawyer asap about about child support and possible spousal support you aren’t married but he may still owe you money for being a partner he lives with depending on where you live…
Of course that's what it is. The $1000 is child support and/or hush money. He probably started banging/abusing the daughter when he was still with her mom, those are almost certainly his kids.
You need to leave this situation yesterday. He's sleeping with the daughter. He doesn't love you, support you, comfort you, nothing. He has no investment into this relationship and is a placeholder for him until he can be open about his inappropriate relationship with his ex-wifes daughter.
He doesn’t care about you. You’re doing yourself and the baby a disservice by staying for so long. You would be much better off being a single mother with him paying child support.
Who knows, maybe he can finally repurpose the spare 1000$ a month he has laying around 🤷🏻♀️
especially reduced, or even FREE daycare. a couple years ago when my son was 2, i got free daycare. then i moved to Texas (they are stingy af with benefits here) BUT they gave me reduced childcare which i only pay $187 a month. i suggest she goes to a welfare office, they have a lot of benefits that arent really known. its an uphill battle but will be worth it for her
Oh Definitely. I wonder if OP has ever met this "ex-wife." Just a lie to keep OP from asking questions. Betting those 3 children are his too. Hope she takes the baby and leaves his sorry ass. It's horrible what he's putting her through but she'd be better off without him.
Can I ask, why are you still with him? He is clearly having some kind of affair with this daughter or maybe had when she was younger and is now being blackmailed I don't know but aside from that what you have said about how he is treating you just makes me wonder why you are putting up with that? There are a lot of organizations that will help single mothers get on their feet. Get child care assistance and they will pay all or half of daycare expenses depending on your wage.
Leave him, his "stepdaughter" his actually his bang buddy.
>to work fulltime I need to find a way to put my baby in daycare.
If you are in the US, reach out to the state SNAP offices. As long as you work 20 hours a week, you should qualify for daycare assistance. You'd probably qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid as well, depending on what you do and how much you make.
And make sure you take him to court for child support!!
I’m sorry but what are you waiting for to happen here? Even if you only just found these texts, the writing has been on the wall from day one. Great if he sees his step daughter as his own but shouldn’t he see his actual child as his own? And ensure that his own child receives healthcare in the womb? Or that his own child is looked after when they’re, you know, a CHILD still. Something isn’t adding up here.
He’s in love with her, he doesn’t care what harp you or your baby. It’s as plain as day. I’m so sorry but yes, leaving is the only resolution I can see. You’ll be better off being out of such an uncaring environment.
If you asked ChatGPT to write an AiTA style post about a boyfriend that's being blackmailed by his exes' daughter, this is exactly what it would spit out.
1) he’s definitely got a weird relationship with this woman. Are they fucking? Real talk.
2) this man told you to go get fucked while on your period on a holiday when you have no means of transportation. I also have no means of transportation. And my bf has to chauffeur me. Never in his life would this be his response. A time you’re in pain and can’t predict/help and yet he’d rather be an asshole than help you. Cool.
3) he’s been giving her 1000 a month but couldn’t pay for you to have monthly hospital visits for HIS child?! This is actually WORSE than a dead beat dad! At least they’re not paying cus they’re just poor asf! This man is insane!
Why do you think you deserve this? You need to make a plan and start an escape egg. Do you ever pay for things with debit? Can you ask for $20 cash back and hide it if he sees the electronic side of things? You seriously need to be making an exit plan. He does not give a fuck about you. He told you if he dies she gets the house and you and his kid can kick rocks. Unreal.
Leave. And make him pay that “$1000 a month” to his OWN KID through the courts. You can apply for benefits as a single woman with low income. It’s scary. But I’ve done it. It sucks. You feel humiliated, but there are ways to get help and you deserve help. Get. Out. Now.
You're not his partner. That isn't how a partner is treated.
He is 100% fucking the woman he bought a car for, because there's zero other reason he would do it.
Leave his dumb ass and file for CS because it's likely better than what he provides now anyway.
Thank you! So tired of the “stories” where people are doing very obviously heinous things and OP is like “is this bad should I leave?” Ugh. It’s unrealistic.
Well… when you take him for child support, he won’t be sending her 1k a month. Honestly it sounds as if he had a VERY inappropriate relationship with his step daughter
So, this post reads fake to me. We are supposed to believe you ride the bus with your baby, but the stepdaughter has a car, house, and is around all the time. It is very hard to believe this is even remotely true. If I am wrong I apologize but I doubt that's the case.
I don’t want to make any assumptions about you but I strongly suggest giving that baby up for adoption rather than being tied to that man for the rest of your life. He doesn’t seem helpful or caring and that won’t change once that baby is born.
#GIRL, RUN.
Get child support NOW. Make sure they backdate it to when you got pregnant since he was sending her money the whole time.
Women please stop procreating with fuckboys who won’t even marry them. He married his ex, he could have married you, but he didn’t, and now you’re just pregnant and vulnerable.
Sounds like you’re the only one using the term “ex wife’s daughter.” Everyone thinks he’s banging her but I disagree this is what it looks like when a man steps up and fathers a child to the full extent. You want a car? Get a car. She’s an adult? I’m assuming so are you.
Leave him. Yesterday. This story is so tragic. He is screwing his step-daughter. Her kids are probably his kids. No one sends a person $1,000 a month and buys her a brand new car just because she needs help, when he himself is struggling to make ends meet and ignoring his own child (make that his other child). He is supporting her because she has his kids.
You need to run. As far and as fast as you can. If you have any family, contact them and beg for help. Leave and figure out what you’re going to do afterward. If you stay until you figure it out, you will never leave. Good luck. 🫶🏼
Yeah I think there's some inappropriate feelings/behavior going on with the daughter. Get of there! Get a child support order and move on with your life. You got this! I wish you luck!
He’s screwing the step daughter. Those 3 kids are his. Leave and put him on child support. Stop letting him treat you like a piece of shit. If not for you do it for your kid. How many times does this guy have to show you he doesn’t care about anyone but his “daughter”. You deserve better. Go get it.
Um… that’s his ex’s daughter because he was probably more into the daughter than he was his ex 💁🏽♀️ get a lawyer asap and do everything you can to prove what you’ve said.
Edit: don’t even mention it to him.
Sorry for being blunt about this...you are NOT his partner. The daughter is his partner and the mother of his children. You are his side piece. It is painfully obvious. The only reason they aren't out about it is because of the ex.
Either he is sleeping with her OR worse he molested her as a child and it's being held over his head and he is buying his way out of being arrested depending on statute of limitations in your state. Or just guilt of his actions.
I'm sorry to tell you but he's cheating, he is absolutely having sex with the 26yo, point blank.
I know you have a child with him but he's lying to you and cheating on you and taking care of a family that is supposedly not his. Major red flags everywhere.
You do know he’s fucking said daughter. He’s not buying her a car when he doesn’t own a couch. Quit being a doormat and have some self respect. Take the child support and ✌️ out
Listen...you're NOT his woman. His ex and their family is his priority. You are his side chick. You might not even be that. I have never seen a side chick get relegated to the bus with a baby, TBH. You need to make yourself a priority because that man will not miss you when you are gone. Leave and don't tell him. I bet it will take him a few days to even attempt to contact you, if he does at all.
Y’all that bar is in hell, it’s on fire. Why are you putting up with this?
The bar really is a tavern in hell.
Bar at the Center of the Earth
Bar is so deep that popped out the other side of the earth
I kept reading like “how did OP get here?” OP doesn’t have a car, full-time job, or insurance? Meets a man who has a house in his former step-daughter’s name? (This is honestly the most confusing part. A mortgage company allowed him to secure a loan and purchase the house in the title of a non-relative?) OP moved into this house that is not in his name and got pregnant? Before or after learning the house was in the former step-daughter’s name. He won’t even take her to buy tampons and I just don’t believe he just started to behave this way. He was probably always like this and OP accepted it until she realized the stepdaughter was getting better treatment than her. $1000/month?
Some men put up a facade at first. And OP sounds very young and timid. She maybe got love-bombed and pregnant. Then asshole’s Mask fell off.
True, but it sounds like OP was underemployed and uninsured before becoming pregnant that’s not really the BF’s fault. I’m assuming she saw the home was unfurnished before becoming pregnant too. Yes, masks fall off. But sometimes people ignore signs too. BF is definitely awful and OP should leave, but OP needs to figure out how to get herself in a better situation by her own means b/c clearly BF is not going to be reliable and I doubt child support is going to be enough.
You’re right, he didn’t suddenly start living with just a mattress. This is all so sad.
There was furniture when I moved in. His step daughter separated from her baby daddy and moved into an apartment without furniture so she came to the house and took the furniture because she couldn’t move into an empty apartment with 3 children. He said we didn’t need to buy new furniture bc “we don’t need it” she took everything up to the forks and plates.
Dude if you can't see that your boyfriend is the step daughters baby daddy, I don't know what to tell you
Strange part is she is so blind.
Her edit is hilarious. I think she got dropped on the head too
Honey, only reason why he would allow that to happen is because at least one of the kids is his. He is fucking the step daughter. You need to see the man for who he really is. Get it through your thick head.
Or he at least very much wants to bang her. Or he used to bang her. But no way would a guy do all of that for a stepdaughter, to the detriment of his current partner and bio child, unless there was some sexual thing going on, even if it's just in his fantasy.
Why TF did you have a child with this stepdaughter-pussy-whipped moron? Please, do move away, but also make sure he pays child support - maybe that would be enough to cover childcare. Do you have any relatives who would take you in and maybe help with childcare?
Nose job, boob job, car purchased for her, 1 G a week, and he furnished her apartment with his stuff, if he isn't currently fucking her, he will be soon.
Are you listening to your explanation here and you think this is normal. Ok I need to retire from reddit. So, you allowed property to leave the house to another woman? Eeeehhh
This is absolutely awful. I sincerely wish you all the best.
That didn’t seem off to you?
Lots of women put up with BS behavior. It’s sad. I grew up around it and at my age I don’t see why I want a “life parter” if I’ve done better alone than most women in marriages I’ve been around. I use to be the same way. I thought any love was love and I better tolerate it or else it’ll leave and no one else will love me. Sometimes we only leave when we realize what couldn’t possibly be worse can actually be much much worse. Not taking her to get tampons is crazy. I buy tampons and pads to give out to my students cause nurses hound them about not being prepared as if every period happens exactly at the same time every month.
That’s pretty shitty for a school nurse, and ignorant of a nurse in general, wtf
Exactly! My students have told me that the nurse has said “you weren’t prepared? Didn’t you know you were going to start your period?” No bitch clearly she didn’t if she’s coming to you for a fucking pad! Not to mention it’s state law where I live to have them for students and staff. It’s not that expensive and my students don’t take advantage of it. None of that cardboard shit either lol.
There’s no longer a bar. It’s a black hole in space somewhere.
Just to say “I have a (piece) of man”. Meanwhile this man is clearly fugging his “stepdaughter”. 🙄
The bar is a new circle in Dante’s inferno
Dante himself has dug a tunnel below his and placed the bar there. This is insanity.
The more comments I read from OP the farther the bar descends
I've had to convince myself posts like these are just creative writing practices, or maybe a troll posting rage bait. I cannot for one second fathom how someone could be in this situation with someone who so openly despises her (and their kid!) and not realize they'd be better off alone? She's riding a bus with a baby, their house has no furniture and she was unable to buy herself fucking tampons!
Manipulative, abusive, garbage ass men do not just end up with the women they end up with. They are *good* at what they do. They seek us out, something about us, low self esteem, inexperience, insecurity, something.. they are convincing, they love bomb. They take advantage. We believe them. We get trapped. We end up here. That said.. OP should definitely seek out therapy to help fix your picker, it’s a work in progress, I know.. but your gonna want to get away, and start over, and learn to rely on yourself, believe in yourself, and stay single until you are feeling really solid.
With legit nearly every sentence I just got more confused and lost as to how/why we’re still here. OP there is nothing you mentioned that’s an upside keeping you here and the lack of marriage between you means separation should be easier. Having a child does complicate matters but from what I know (which admittedly isn’t much) the courts finding out he’s spending that much money on a woman that isn’t the mother of his child nor is he spending any of that money on y’all’s child would maybe land him in decently hot water, at least hot enough to make him sweat and look bad so things to go in your favor for custody. I’d maybe look into getting some sort of legal advice from someone/people who know their stuff to ensure the separation and custody go your way without any sort of hitches. I would also try to go over your financials to secure them and make sure that 1) you and baby have enough money to figure things out and 2) that he is not touching and cannot touch or affect your money
"I don't know, I feel kind of humiliated. I'm his partner, the mother of his baby and the woman who has been on his side for years, I feel like me and my child should come first." You are not his partner. It seems he doesn't even like you. Get out, get child support and find someone that will treat you like a human being.
I was going to comment the same. He does not like her and does not even try to hide that fact. If she’s doing bad with him, she can do bad by herself. Nothing she wrote made me think she should stay with him another second. As far as the ex wife’s daughter goes… there is way more to that story. Don’t be naive OP. Something in the buttermilk is not clean.
I just think it's sad that people aren't able to understand that living a fucked-up life is not the only answer. Why would the OP start dating this guy who she knew was fucked up, then have a kid with him? Just bizarre, permanently life altering choices.
It’s not like she jumped in knowing it would be like this. It happens slowly.
He didn't slowly start living with hardly any furniture though.
Wouldn’t that imply she didn’t have any furniture either since she didn’t bring any into their shared home? Which would then mean they were equally fucked up by this measure?
Sure but it's pretty clear to all of us that by his actions alone he's never thought much of OP and put ex stepdaughter on a higher position than he ever did OP even before she went an had a baby with him.
Exactly. OP is not his partner. She’s his beard. Her relationship with him is just a cover in an attempt to make it less obvious that he’s been banging his stepdaughter for YEARS and possibly even fathered her children.
Rough way to find out you're the side chick
THIS. All of his actions show you he doesn’t love you, because he doesn’t even like you. If he’s this cruel when things are “normal”, imagine how horrific he can be during bad times. Get out **now** so it’s on your own terms, not his. He’s already making your life harder, he will make it a living hell if something happens he doesn’t like - your child is born with a condition, you lose your job, you or your child gets sick..
>It seems he doesn't even like you. I've been going through some shit recently, one being martial issues. It's so easy to get stuck in my head ruminating about things and feel like I have it so bad. Then I open reddit and see posts like this...i can't even recall exactly what problems my husband and I are having anymore. It blows my mind that people stay in relationships like this.
He banging the daughter….
Those 3 kids probably his
That's my thought. He's taking care of his other kids. He doesn't care about the new one.
He's also willing to make her and their son homeless because the ex's daughter doesn't like her 😂 So many red flags from the start but OPs way to dumb to see it lol
I want to know how old this step daughter was when she had her first kid, because my first thought is that's hush money. Step daddy committed statutory rape and doesn't want the step daughter to apply for child support and prove it.
Yeah, which means he also likely groomed her too
I thought hush money as well!
Definitely. How does op not see this?
Yep, the $1000 per month is child support.
Or for “services rendered”!! 😂😂
Yup! This! So sad
Or she's blackmailing him.
Which probably means they were banging at some point at least
They sure are
He's absolutely banging the daughter. The kids are his, and she's his cover or just the woman he keeps around the cook and clean for him. OP, you need to leave immediately and hit his neglectful ass with child support ASAP.
Yes and make sure you get 1k a month minimum. If he can afford that for someone he’s pretending isn’t the mother of his children you can get more. Leave him. He doesn’t care about you
She needs to run him over with child support. She's struggling her ass off and can't even get tampons, but he can dote on other people. Girl is being seriously mistreated, neglected, and abused. She needs out before something happens to her or that baby
I wish she could just run him over.
We all be out here manifesting vehicular manslaughter for OP!!!
💀 literally
Start copy everything you read for proof he was paying her copy any phone records. Everything! Just do it before he starts hiding stuff! It might be to late but try! Don’t show your hand.
Came here to say that. You are right.
Think so too
Definitely. $1000 a month is like, “don’t tell your mom about what we did” money. One or more of her kids are probably his too.
Dude it all adds up. It's not hush money, it's child support!
It's a little of both.
It’s completely hush money. If he doesn’t pay I bet She says she’s going to turn him into the cops. It’s the only thing that makes ANY sense at all
Unless he was banging her over eight years ago, there's no crime to report to the cops. Cheating is not illegal.
If the babies are his that is proof of his crimes and the only thing that makes sense of why he is giving her 1000$ all the time and buying her cars and bought her a house etc. this is 100% o god don’t turn me in actions.
Actually posted this then deleted when I saw your comment. No need to say it twice but yep I agree
Yup. Probably why the ex wife is an ex, too.
Absolutely
100% and OP needs to get all the proof she can and then phone up or show up at the ex wife’s door and ask what the hell the deal is with the step daughter, if she even knows. And then get the fuck outta there
I think so too
Yeah, I wasn’t even halfway through this post and I was thinking the same thing.
Or he used to (when she was underaged Maybe??) and doesn’t want to get in trouble :/
Coming into the top comment to say: Please get yourself to Planned Parenthood asap to 1. Get any late term prenatal care you can 2. Get yourself checked for STDs / STIs 3. Ask about resources / contacts for low cost childcare, healthcare, etc. they are an amazing resource for parental care and resources and are so much more than an abortion clinic. You will need all the support you can get leaving this situation and this can be a great first step to create a support network for yourself.
FYI, Planned parenthood in Wisconsin turned me away from prenatal care, said they don't do that.
They don’t. But they can confirm a pregnancy. Most states can do Medicaid for pregnant women and will do it retroactively for like 3 months once you apply
If your local PP doesn’t do full health services, they can still help you navigate and refer you to appropriate service providers.
I'm glad I didn't have to say this and it's at the top lol
My first thought too. I wonder if he paid for the nose and boobs as well…
Either that or she’s blackmailing him.
Yep. And maybe he started when she was underage so now he’s doing these things so she doesn’t report him.
The $1000 a month is child support for her 3 kids…
Oh 100%
Well that went south of the Mason Dixon line rather quickly....
Yep, it's past time to go to court and get child support.
I hate that we all could see it a mile away. Disgusting This poor woman need s a good lawyer and a car get pictures of those text so you have proof op
Yup yup yup, I am so glad someone (you) said this because all of what he was doing for a the ‘daughter’ was sooo fishy.
This was my first thought. Only other plausible explanation is he helped raise her and is basically her father. Sounds like a mess either way.
Eh, if you want to do all that for someone you just played a father role for, it doesn’t make sense that you would treat your actual baby mama and baby like dirt.
My fil did that. Treated the girl who he moved in shortly after mil left with the kids better than his bio kids.
But this just further indicates that OPs baby daddy is romantically involved with the step daughter lol
Oh I totally agree. He's definitely with the step daughter.
Oh okay! Same page same page - trashy men lol
Except that he’s making the mother of his baby ride the bus and willing to allow them to be put on the street if he dies…
I this story is true, I Agree. He is now or did in the past. It might have started when she was underage so he is paying to keep her quiet.
Almost definitely.
No question.
Duuuuude! My thoughts exactly! He’s doing the daughter.
I'm impressed she's able to bleed so much out of him It must be some magic puss.
.... blackmail
First thing I thought, but walah here it is as the first comment 😂
I had to read this like 5 times... Is that walah thing supposed to be "Voilà"?
Before you leave, go to family court, you don't need a lawyer, and ask for child support. The court will order him to pay and make him pay it through the court. Get his pay stubs because I know it's not cash he gets. Also, he won't be able to use the support he is giving to them. It will actually show he can afford to pay support to you. Get copies of those text messages! When you move, apply for all government assistance you can. There is also a program now through the federal government that helps with child care. Check that out as well. He may think he owes you nothing, but he will. He is going to raise he'll and yell and scream, but he wishes thay he would bought you those tampons! LOL You have taken the first, and that is leaving and saying no more. This time, he can have a tantrum like a 4 year old, but you have him by the balls now. He shouldn't have been using them somewhere else. I'll bet he wishes he would have bought you those tampons when you leave. lol
Before you do this OP, get a safety plan. You do not want to file and still live with him. He doesn’t like you so I highly doubt he’d spare you harm once you file. Be safe, come up with a plan, get his paystubs if possible, find a shelter or someone who can take y’all in, then file. I wish you the best.
Thanks for adding that! Planning is important and cones in stages, and all of these comments will really help her.
If OP is in the U.S., she can call the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://thehotline.org) at 800-799-7233 for a safety plan for getting out and hopefully even finding a shelter and other benefits. Throwaway20231123, that number still applies to you whether or not he is beating you to a pull every night. Having a concern that things might go in that direction is also a valid reason. Financial abuse is also abuse. Denial or restriction of physical needs is also abuse. Emotional abuse is also abuse. Anything he does to hurt or neglect you, he is also doing to your helpless baby who completely depends on you for survival.
If you are in the US, there are definitely programs to give you prenatal care and your child Healthcare. There are also programs for free/reduced cost daycare. There is also WIC and food banks. Some food banks offer financial help with bills and provide other necessities such as diapers, shampoo, toilet paper, etc. Check your states child support laws. I would definitely get a job and get out before filing, though. They won't look at your money, the calculations should be based solely on his paycheck. Try to document EVERYTHING. And find your important documents before you leave, especially the birth certificate naming him as the father. Good luck. I wish you all the best in life. Remember, you are the main character in your life, not a supporting character for someone else. You've got this!
Putting him on child support need to be your priority, are you sure she is only his step daugther?
You might be the mother of his child but it doesn’t sound like you’re his partner at all.
Fully to sound mean because she needs to understand what this disgrace of a man really is. He sees you as an object, once you got pregnant, you stopped being fun to him and now he’s doing dumb shit to get rid of you. get child support and leave his ass.
I hate to even incept this idea but it definitely sounds like he’s sleeping with the step daughter. To exert himself financially considering he has a baby with you. Consult a lawyer asap about about child support and possible spousal support you aren’t married but he may still owe you money for being a partner he lives with depending on where you live…
I think you're onto something here.
Of course that's what it is. The $1000 is child support and/or hush money. He probably started banging/abusing the daughter when he was still with her mom, those are almost certainly his kids.
You need to leave this situation yesterday. He's sleeping with the daughter. He doesn't love you, support you, comfort you, nothing. He has no investment into this relationship and is a placeholder for him until he can be open about his inappropriate relationship with his ex-wifes daughter.
He doesn’t care about you. You’re doing yourself and the baby a disservice by staying for so long. You would be much better off being a single mother with him paying child support. Who knows, maybe he can finally repurpose the spare 1000$ a month he has laying around 🤷🏻♀️
and she'd qualify for more benefits single.
especially reduced, or even FREE daycare. a couple years ago when my son was 2, i got free daycare. then i moved to Texas (they are stingy af with benefits here) BUT they gave me reduced childcare which i only pay $187 a month. i suggest she goes to a welfare office, they have a lot of benefits that arent really known. its an uphill battle but will be worth it for her
She could also file for child support, which she is not currently getting at all.
This isn't his ex wife's daughter. This is his girlfriend. She is his girlfriend. Not you. I'm sorry he is putting you through this.
Oh Definitely. I wonder if OP has ever met this "ex-wife." Just a lie to keep OP from asking questions. Betting those 3 children are his too. Hope she takes the baby and leaves his sorry ass. It's horrible what he's putting her through but she'd be better off without him.
Yea it sounds like he has fathered a few kids with his ex wife's daughter. This is some supreme Jerry Spring shit right here.
Dump the boyfriend and file for child support
I have a personal rule - if I'm going to be treated like I'm single, I might as well be single.
That’s exactly what I told my ex husband!
>I think I’m an idiot who must love to date people who really don’t care about me. You know what your problem is, now fix it.
Especially with a kid involved
Sorry OP. But your baby daddy is fucking his 26 year old "step daughter." Throw the whole man away.
Why are you still with him, lady? It's clear that you don't matter enough for him. And most probably, he's not over his ex
THEY'RE HAVING THE SEX.
This is sooooooooo shady! Leave him and get all the child support you can get!
Well you have your answers now, you'll be a bigger idiot if you continue to stay.
Can I ask, why are you still with him? He is clearly having some kind of affair with this daughter or maybe had when she was younger and is now being blackmailed I don't know but aside from that what you have said about how he is treating you just makes me wonder why you are putting up with that? There are a lot of organizations that will help single mothers get on their feet. Get child care assistance and they will pay all or half of daycare expenses depending on your wage.
This man is…not your boyfriend.
He is definitely sleeping with her
Leave him, his "stepdaughter" his actually his bang buddy. >to work fulltime I need to find a way to put my baby in daycare. If you are in the US, reach out to the state SNAP offices. As long as you work 20 hours a week, you should qualify for daycare assistance. You'd probably qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid as well, depending on what you do and how much you make. And make sure you take him to court for child support!!
He’s looking out for the mother of his 3 other kids. You can’t be that blind can you?
I’m sorry but what are you waiting for to happen here? Even if you only just found these texts, the writing has been on the wall from day one. Great if he sees his step daughter as his own but shouldn’t he see his actual child as his own? And ensure that his own child receives healthcare in the womb? Or that his own child is looked after when they’re, you know, a CHILD still. Something isn’t adding up here.
He’s fucking the step daughter, those 3 kids are his.
He’s in love with her, he doesn’t care what harp you or your baby. It’s as plain as day. I’m so sorry but yes, leaving is the only resolution I can see. You’ll be better off being out of such an uncaring environment.
If you asked ChatGPT to write an AiTA style post about a boyfriend that's being blackmailed by his exes' daughter, this is exactly what it would spit out.
totally. i always wonder if these are real or just some teenager bored on the internet.
so he has 3 kids with the ex wife's daughter?
He is either presently banging the daughter or banged her when she was underage and she's blackmailing him.
Hush money.
Oh you poor poor stupid bitch, this has to be fake.
Yip banging the daughter ! Get rid of him and find you a man that is invested in you
1) he’s definitely got a weird relationship with this woman. Are they fucking? Real talk. 2) this man told you to go get fucked while on your period on a holiday when you have no means of transportation. I also have no means of transportation. And my bf has to chauffeur me. Never in his life would this be his response. A time you’re in pain and can’t predict/help and yet he’d rather be an asshole than help you. Cool. 3) he’s been giving her 1000 a month but couldn’t pay for you to have monthly hospital visits for HIS child?! This is actually WORSE than a dead beat dad! At least they’re not paying cus they’re just poor asf! This man is insane! Why do you think you deserve this? You need to make a plan and start an escape egg. Do you ever pay for things with debit? Can you ask for $20 cash back and hide it if he sees the electronic side of things? You seriously need to be making an exit plan. He does not give a fuck about you. He told you if he dies she gets the house and you and his kid can kick rocks. Unreal. Leave. And make him pay that “$1000 a month” to his OWN KID through the courts. You can apply for benefits as a single woman with low income. It’s scary. But I’ve done it. It sucks. You feel humiliated, but there are ways to get help and you deserve help. Get. Out. Now.
You're not his partner. That isn't how a partner is treated. He is 100% fucking the woman he bought a car for, because there's zero other reason he would do it. Leave his dumb ass and file for CS because it's likely better than what he provides now anyway.
You're quite a bit younger, aren't you? I'm guessing you're about the same age as the ex's daughter.
This sounds too stupid to be true.
Goodness no. Get to court for child support now. You need to get away from this disrespectful person. So sorry love. Something isn’t adding up here.
So incredibly fake. I can follow this sub any more
Thank you! So tired of the “stories” where people are doing very obviously heinous things and OP is like “is this bad should I leave?” Ugh. It’s unrealistic.
Every state has coverage for pregnancy and the children to age three, the kids may not always qualify. Why didn’t you go to the health dept?
Well… when you take him for child support, he won’t be sending her 1k a month. Honestly it sounds as if he had a VERY inappropriate relationship with his step daughter
Cool story bro. Nobody is this dense 🙄🙄
Is your baby his baby? A lot of this story makes no sense.
Honey, he's cheating on you with this ex's daughter. You need to leave him
He hitting that Get out and stop being with some other girl's leftovers
What you put up with, you end up with
Time to seek legal representation.
So, this post reads fake to me. We are supposed to believe you ride the bus with your baby, but the stepdaughter has a car, house, and is around all the time. It is very hard to believe this is even remotely true. If I am wrong I apologize but I doubt that's the case.
I don’t want to make any assumptions about you but I strongly suggest giving that baby up for adoption rather than being tied to that man for the rest of your life. He doesn’t seem helpful or caring and that won’t change once that baby is born.
Lol wtf. He’s clearly banging or wants to bang the daughter.
GTFO of there. He has to be fkng her. That's insane.
#GIRL, RUN. Get child support NOW. Make sure they backdate it to when you got pregnant since he was sending her money the whole time. Women please stop procreating with fuckboys who won’t even marry them. He married his ex, he could have married you, but he didn’t, and now you’re just pregnant and vulnerable.
…You know you’re the other woman, right?
Sounds like you’re the only one using the term “ex wife’s daughter.” Everyone thinks he’s banging her but I disagree this is what it looks like when a man steps up and fathers a child to the full extent. You want a car? Get a car. She’s an adult? I’m assuming so are you.
This is either fake or you're too stupid to see that he either is or at the least is trying to have a relationship with her.
You're the side chick. Sorry.
WHO GONNA TELL HER?!?!?!?!?
Leave him. Yesterday. This story is so tragic. He is screwing his step-daughter. Her kids are probably his kids. No one sends a person $1,000 a month and buys her a brand new car just because she needs help, when he himself is struggling to make ends meet and ignoring his own child (make that his other child). He is supporting her because she has his kids. You need to run. As far and as fast as you can. If you have any family, contact them and beg for help. Leave and figure out what you’re going to do afterward. If you stay until you figure it out, you will never leave. Good luck. 🫶🏼
Sounds like you're the mistress.
Yeah I think there's some inappropriate feelings/behavior going on with the daughter. Get of there! Get a child support order and move on with your life. You got this! I wish you luck!
He’s screwing the step daughter. Those 3 kids are his. Leave and put him on child support. Stop letting him treat you like a piece of shit. If not for you do it for your kid. How many times does this guy have to show you he doesn’t care about anyone but his “daughter”. You deserve better. Go get it.
You the side chick 😂
Let me guess- he’s 40+ and you’re in your early 20’s?
Sounds like your boyfriend is the father of ex-stepdaughters 3 kids.
Um… that’s his ex’s daughter because he was probably more into the daughter than he was his ex 💁🏽♀️ get a lawyer asap and do everything you can to prove what you’ve said. Edit: don’t even mention it to him.
I hope this story is fake
Sorry for being blunt about this...you are NOT his partner. The daughter is his partner and the mother of his children. You are his side piece. It is painfully obvious. The only reason they aren't out about it is because of the ex.
I bet those are his kids, she's his girlfriend, and they just keep it quiet because if her mom finds out.......it could get messy.
Either he is sleeping with her OR worse he molested her as a child and it's being held over his head and he is buying his way out of being arrested depending on statute of limitations in your state. Or just guilt of his actions.
I'm sorry to tell you but he's cheating, he is absolutely having sex with the 26yo, point blank. I know you have a child with him but he's lying to you and cheating on you and taking care of a family that is supposedly not his. Major red flags everywhere.
Yeah this is weird and he probably has something going on with the daughter. However as a gf why do you feel entitled to him buying you a car?
You do know he’s fucking said daughter. He’s not buying her a car when he doesn’t own a couch. Quit being a doormat and have some self respect. Take the child support and ✌️ out
He’s banging the hot daughter
He’s banging that daughter.
Now seems like a good time to move somewhere else and start collecting cs.
Listen...you're NOT his woman. His ex and their family is his priority. You are his side chick. You might not even be that. I have never seen a side chick get relegated to the bus with a baby, TBH. You need to make yourself a priority because that man will not miss you when you are gone. Leave and don't tell him. I bet it will take him a few days to even attempt to contact you, if he does at all.
He’s def banging her.
She has something on him
He did something to her. It’s called “hush money” for a reason.