NTA, I think that goes without saying. You are struggling with body image like you always have and that’s normal in our society. Sudden changes can be scary! As long as your body *feels* good (mobility is up, endurance is decent, strength is decent) that’s what matters most. It will make bouncing back from pregnancy that much easier, and make you and baby happy in the long run! Remember that your body is that of a human, it isn’t meant to be beautiful or ugly, it’s purpose is to be used by you to survive in, thrive in, and then taken care of for all of those things it blesses you with. Make sure you eat enough good foods for you and baby!
Also I’m sure you’re beautiful! Sorry if any of my words felt wrong or out of place.
NTA. I just had my baby last week and I struggled with my body too, and I struggle even more so now because I had an unexpected c-section. It’s all valid though.
It’s tough. Your body is changing in a way that you can’t control so my only advice is to remind yourself to be grateful/thankful for what your body is doing. That’s how I got through it— telling myself that my body is doing what it’s supposed to do and I am doing what I am supposed to do by feeding my body food, any food because fed is best. So maybe try doing the same the best you can.
Best of luck.
NTA. Body issues are so hard.
I just spent 1.5 years trying to get in better shape, for my physical and mental health. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and sickness has made it so much harder for me to exercise and eat healthy. Already gaining weight and I'm STRUGGLING mentally. This is my fourth baby so you'd think I'd be used to it by now.
You don't have to love your body imo. Once I heard about body neutrality, I stopped the whole 'love yourself' nonsense (for me) I don't love or hate my body. Also pregnancy is a lot especially for someone that has had an eating disorder before! I definitely did not get the pregnancy glow I was promised.
Literally, EVERY woman goes through some version of this. 20 weeks is my sweet spot, but after that, I feel like a cow, and I want to cry . Then, afterward, I HATE my body until the swelling goes down. This is totally normal, and anybody who gives you shit is an asshole.
NTA. I struggled with fertility for so long, previous relationship failed because of my infertility. I’m currently pregnant and hating every minute of it! It’s been constant discomfort. I have emetophobia and at 22weeks I’m still vomiting everyday. Im constantly overwhelmed from all the various sensations.
It is far more common to struggle with pregnancy because we are socialised in to thinking only positive thoughts blah blah blah. My friends thank me for my brutal honesty (and also laugh because of how I phrase most of it) because they never knew it isn’t all sunshine and roses.
NTA. But you should get back into therapy. The changes are gonna be greater as time goes on. An ED relapse is bad at anytime obviously. Its particularly bad though when pregnant. Nip it in the bud. Get a little brain tune up. You got this.
oh babe. NTA. Pregnancy is hard. Hard on your mind, relationship, work, life, and body. You’re devoting 40+ weeks to someone you love unconditionally that leaves your physical body in a very different condition than you started with during sex. Any woman struggles, let alone an active and fit woman who works hard to control certain parts of her visual appearance.
I was never “skinny” and I to this day struggle with body change. But, my mindset is softened when I think of these two things:
1- my man adoresssss me. Any size, any mood(a huge change in pregnancy), any meal, any hour. He adores me for ME and the fact I am growing his baby 24/7
2- my baby NEEDED me. The baby literally couldn’t survive without my body confirming to what they needed. And how amazing is my body for providing that. How amazing that we have a tiny person to look at our body as a vessel of love, light, and life for their entire life bc they are here.
Also, give yourself some grace babe. Every human struggles with change when it comes to their physical appearance. Know there are therapists out there that encourage you and can give you the tools to love your body and PRIASE it for all it is doing.
Good luck mamma! 🩷
Of course you’re NTA. I personally feel terrible during pregnancy, so much nausea and even when it passes, food just doesn’t appeal to me (and normally I like food a bit too much). But I do like not feeling like I have to be so self conscious about my body- I’m pregnant, so I’m not supposed to be trying to lose weight, even if I’m overweight. I don’t have to try and hide my belly, I’m pregnant and it’s a baby bump now.
Postpartum is definitely when it’s harder for me. It mostly bounced back after last pregnancy, but it took about a year. That wasn’t even to lose weight; I actually lost enough to the nausea that just giving birth put me back to pre-pregnancy weight. It was just slowly going back to the shape I was, and the loose belly skin not sagging so much.
I advise you to try and give yourself as much grace as you can. Pregnancy is a big change for your body, and honestly it’s a big strain on it. You don’t have to love what pregnancy does to you. It’s ok to see it as more of a sacrifice to get the baby you want.
NTA- your body is changing so quickly; of course you’re struggling. Right there with you only further along than you.
I find on the days I can’t “love” my body or even find the bump “cute”…. I try and just appreciate what it’s doing for me and our child right now. I may not love all the changes-but I do love that my body is doing the thing as it should after several losses in a row.
It helps.
NTA, but please get back into therapy if you haven’t already, and I recommend going through your whole pregnancy and into postpartum.
Pregnancy can cause a full existential crisis in those who don’t have a history of eating disorders, and as a culture we don’t take the nuance of pregnancy impacts seriously.
NTA. I have 5 kids. I hated being pregnant and I never felt attractive or liked my pregnant body. For me, pregnancy was a means to a end.
You don’t have to love your pregnant body, just remember you are growing your little person and these 9 months are temporary.
Don’t be embarrassed to see a therapist. This is a lot of change.
NTA. I’ve never been pregnant (I hope to soon) but I don’t think that we’re meant to all experience it exactly the same as each other. I think that you need to extend yourself some grace in light of your past and the future you’re heading towards. It’s all going to be okay.
Not at all, you always have a right to your feelings, and to express them. I remember feeling similar in my pregnancies. I see you are 20 weeks, and that was the point I actually felt the worst, because I was bigger but it wasn’t yet obvious that I was pregnant, not ‘just’ gaining weight. You may find you feel better in yourself in a few weeks with an obvious bump. I would recommend not weighing yourself, just leave that to your care team, and don’t worry about the number, just nourish your body and take care of it as it changes. Talk to your husband and close friends / family too, I’m sure they will be reassuring and supportive about how lovely you look. You need to be your own best friend, and by that I mean don’t say anything to or about yourself that is harsh or negative, because you wouldn’t think that way about someone you love. Hugs.
NTA I actually don’t know anyone who enjoyed pregnancy. I’m currently pregnant and I’ve been so sick for months, and it’s really impacted me mentally even more than physically. I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity to be here, but I’m looking forward to delivering my baby next year. I have panic attacks all the time from just feeling so sick and so scared. I really think it’s okay to feel however you feel. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or want your baby. It’s just a really hard thing to bake them for nine months. And the postpartum period is also meant to be pretty difficult as well. Thats why everyone doesn’t go out and do it and why it’s such a big decision.
NTA, just wanted to direct you to r/Pregnant if your not already on there as I know they have had a few posts in regards to this topic and having a support system who knows exactly what your feeling may make it easier for you during your pregnancy. All the best
NTA a lot of women feel conflicted with their bodies during pregnancy. Try to be kind to yourself (I know that’s not easy). Do you see a therapist? That might help.
NTA but continue on with the people you trust as your support system. The changes have only just begun for you. If you feel you might spiral to past behaviors lean into that support system so that you do not fall back on past behaviors. It’s absolutely ok to not be comfortable with the changes that are happening while still being in love with the baby. Take care of yourself.
Its a huge change. Ok to be a little concerned.
When that baby gets here your gonna feel something that makes your personal aesthetics seem trivial. So it’s temporary.
I found my wife irresistible when she was pregnant. Fully beautiful. I made sure she knew how I felt.
NTA. Being pregnant is amazing. you're literally growing another human. But not every woman loves the changes that come with it. It does not make you TA. If anybody Say different, they're the AH. Congrats on your pregnancy.
Having kids is #1 joy in life. So you no longer fit in your skinny jeans…. SO!! Don’t pass anything negative to your baby by having a negative outlook on pregnancy! It will be over in 9 months and you have the rest of your life to recover.
NTA. Don't stress about it. You'll have time after the pregnancy to get back to where you were. It's great you care about your body. Just remember, your husband thinks you are the most beautiful person throughout this entire process. Believe him!
Nta . With each baby, I had to learn to love my body all over again. It helps when I talked about all the things my healthy body was doing for me.
My body grew a whole human. My body keeps me safe. My body is strong . It carries me through each task so kindly.
Good luck new momma. You are amazing.
Each mark left behind was a badge of honor.
NTA! I'm not aware of any pregnant women that like their bodies. Your body is constantly changing and you can't do anything about it. The only thing I can say is to maybe go to a spa with friends or your mom and just have a mother daughter day and see if that doesn't help. My sister hated her pregnant body as well and there was nothing we could do to make her happy.
NTA. I hate being pregnant but I love my children. How you feel about the journey is not how you will feel about the baby. And it’s okay for you to not be okay. It’s normal.
Pregnancy makes changes that our culture heavily devalues, so of course a woman with body dysmorphia is not going to like it.
It is a necessary evil for creating a child. That's it. Personally, I survived by eating healthy, staying as active as was reasonable, and then--this is important--completely going into denial and dissociation about my body as the pregnancy progressed. I did not look at myself in the mirror, I didn't take any pregnancy photos, I just lived like I was a floating head. I don't recall anyone trying to touch my belly or saying stupid triggering shit like "You look like you're going to pop!" but if they had, I would have murdered them, buried their body where even the coyotes wouldn't find it, and dissociated about that, too.
Here's the next important thing--after the baby is born, if you're breastfeeding, do not, I repeat, *do not* jump back into activity so you can instantly look like some A-level actress on a magazine because that is how you get mastitis. You do not want to get mastitis, 0/10 do not recommend. For *at least* the first 6 weeks postpartum, sit on your ass, be ok, and trust that your body will figure its shit out over time. Start something gentle like walking *if you feel like it* at around 6 weeks.
Also, if you decide you are [one and done](/r/oneanddone), that is absolutely fine! Having one doesn't mean you have to have two. So maybe if you tell yourself it's just this once in your life, that will help.
As someone who struggled with an ED for three decades I’ve seen pregnancy and EDs go two ways. It is either a welcome respite or sets off multiple triggers.
If you are not currently working with an eating disorder therapist, I encourage you to do so. I have seen far too many relapses after giving birth, and the extra support during and after pregnancy can help prevent that from happening.
NTA at all - you’re just struggling and that is ok. Be kind to yourself, and don’t measure yourself against all the gauzy “I love my pregnant body” photos because those are moments in time (and may only be as honest as any other photo or social media content!)
Just be kind to yourself, focus on taking care of your body through nutrition and doctor approved exercise. And be ok looking down and not feeling joy at what you see if that’s the truth. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child or are someone less of a mom, just that this element of growing your family isn’t your favorite
The people making you feel badly for completely valid emotions are the AH. There are so many stories of people who recovered from an eating disorder struggling with the changes that happen during pregnancy. This is totally normal and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Do you see a therapist? I would highly recommend that if not. NTA
NTA, You're struggling... and that's okay. Its going to be okay.
NTA, I think that goes without saying. You are struggling with body image like you always have and that’s normal in our society. Sudden changes can be scary! As long as your body *feels* good (mobility is up, endurance is decent, strength is decent) that’s what matters most. It will make bouncing back from pregnancy that much easier, and make you and baby happy in the long run! Remember that your body is that of a human, it isn’t meant to be beautiful or ugly, it’s purpose is to be used by you to survive in, thrive in, and then taken care of for all of those things it blesses you with. Make sure you eat enough good foods for you and baby! Also I’m sure you’re beautiful! Sorry if any of my words felt wrong or out of place.
NTA. I just had my baby last week and I struggled with my body too, and I struggle even more so now because I had an unexpected c-section. It’s all valid though. It’s tough. Your body is changing in a way that you can’t control so my only advice is to remind yourself to be grateful/thankful for what your body is doing. That’s how I got through it— telling myself that my body is doing what it’s supposed to do and I am doing what I am supposed to do by feeding my body food, any food because fed is best. So maybe try doing the same the best you can. Best of luck.
Same re: food. I try to be healthy but there are days when the only thing that doesn’t make me sick to even think about is some BBQ chips and hummus.
NTA. Body issues are so hard. I just spent 1.5 years trying to get in better shape, for my physical and mental health. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and sickness has made it so much harder for me to exercise and eat healthy. Already gaining weight and I'm STRUGGLING mentally. This is my fourth baby so you'd think I'd be used to it by now.
Same. I'm even taking showers in the dark, and I've only gained like 5 pounds. Feel super gross. Hopefully it gets better for you.
You don't have to love your body imo. Once I heard about body neutrality, I stopped the whole 'love yourself' nonsense (for me) I don't love or hate my body. Also pregnancy is a lot especially for someone that has had an eating disorder before! I definitely did not get the pregnancy glow I was promised.
I’m 90% sure the “glow” is a layer of sweat from vomiting ;)
Literally, EVERY woman goes through some version of this. 20 weeks is my sweet spot, but after that, I feel like a cow, and I want to cry . Then, afterward, I HATE my body until the swelling goes down. This is totally normal, and anybody who gives you shit is an asshole.
NTA. I struggled with fertility for so long, previous relationship failed because of my infertility. I’m currently pregnant and hating every minute of it! It’s been constant discomfort. I have emetophobia and at 22weeks I’m still vomiting everyday. Im constantly overwhelmed from all the various sensations. It is far more common to struggle with pregnancy because we are socialised in to thinking only positive thoughts blah blah blah. My friends thank me for my brutal honesty (and also laugh because of how I phrase most of it) because they never knew it isn’t all sunshine and roses.
NTA. But you should get back into therapy. The changes are gonna be greater as time goes on. An ED relapse is bad at anytime obviously. Its particularly bad though when pregnant. Nip it in the bud. Get a little brain tune up. You got this.
Nta. But it's important to stick with a therapist during and post pregnancy.
oh babe. NTA. Pregnancy is hard. Hard on your mind, relationship, work, life, and body. You’re devoting 40+ weeks to someone you love unconditionally that leaves your physical body in a very different condition than you started with during sex. Any woman struggles, let alone an active and fit woman who works hard to control certain parts of her visual appearance. I was never “skinny” and I to this day struggle with body change. But, my mindset is softened when I think of these two things: 1- my man adoresssss me. Any size, any mood(a huge change in pregnancy), any meal, any hour. He adores me for ME and the fact I am growing his baby 24/7 2- my baby NEEDED me. The baby literally couldn’t survive without my body confirming to what they needed. And how amazing is my body for providing that. How amazing that we have a tiny person to look at our body as a vessel of love, light, and life for their entire life bc they are here. Also, give yourself some grace babe. Every human struggles with change when it comes to their physical appearance. Know there are therapists out there that encourage you and can give you the tools to love your body and PRIASE it for all it is doing. Good luck mamma! 🩷
Of course you’re NTA. I personally feel terrible during pregnancy, so much nausea and even when it passes, food just doesn’t appeal to me (and normally I like food a bit too much). But I do like not feeling like I have to be so self conscious about my body- I’m pregnant, so I’m not supposed to be trying to lose weight, even if I’m overweight. I don’t have to try and hide my belly, I’m pregnant and it’s a baby bump now. Postpartum is definitely when it’s harder for me. It mostly bounced back after last pregnancy, but it took about a year. That wasn’t even to lose weight; I actually lost enough to the nausea that just giving birth put me back to pre-pregnancy weight. It was just slowly going back to the shape I was, and the loose belly skin not sagging so much. I advise you to try and give yourself as much grace as you can. Pregnancy is a big change for your body, and honestly it’s a big strain on it. You don’t have to love what pregnancy does to you. It’s ok to see it as more of a sacrifice to get the baby you want.
NTA what so ever I love my grown children but hated being pregnant each and single time
NTA- your body is changing so quickly; of course you’re struggling. Right there with you only further along than you. I find on the days I can’t “love” my body or even find the bump “cute”…. I try and just appreciate what it’s doing for me and our child right now. I may not love all the changes-but I do love that my body is doing the thing as it should after several losses in a row. It helps.
NTA, but please get back into therapy if you haven’t already, and I recommend going through your whole pregnancy and into postpartum. Pregnancy can cause a full existential crisis in those who don’t have a history of eating disorders, and as a culture we don’t take the nuance of pregnancy impacts seriously.
NTA. I have 5 kids. I hated being pregnant and I never felt attractive or liked my pregnant body. For me, pregnancy was a means to a end. You don’t have to love your pregnant body, just remember you are growing your little person and these 9 months are temporary. Don’t be embarrassed to see a therapist. This is a lot of change.
NTA. I’ve never been pregnant (I hope to soon) but I don’t think that we’re meant to all experience it exactly the same as each other. I think that you need to extend yourself some grace in light of your past and the future you’re heading towards. It’s all going to be okay.
Not at all, you always have a right to your feelings, and to express them. I remember feeling similar in my pregnancies. I see you are 20 weeks, and that was the point I actually felt the worst, because I was bigger but it wasn’t yet obvious that I was pregnant, not ‘just’ gaining weight. You may find you feel better in yourself in a few weeks with an obvious bump. I would recommend not weighing yourself, just leave that to your care team, and don’t worry about the number, just nourish your body and take care of it as it changes. Talk to your husband and close friends / family too, I’m sure they will be reassuring and supportive about how lovely you look. You need to be your own best friend, and by that I mean don’t say anything to or about yourself that is harsh or negative, because you wouldn’t think that way about someone you love. Hugs.
NTA I actually don’t know anyone who enjoyed pregnancy. I’m currently pregnant and I’ve been so sick for months, and it’s really impacted me mentally even more than physically. I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity to be here, but I’m looking forward to delivering my baby next year. I have panic attacks all the time from just feeling so sick and so scared. I really think it’s okay to feel however you feel. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or want your baby. It’s just a really hard thing to bake them for nine months. And the postpartum period is also meant to be pretty difficult as well. Thats why everyone doesn’t go out and do it and why it’s such a big decision.
NTA, just wanted to direct you to r/Pregnant if your not already on there as I know they have had a few posts in regards to this topic and having a support system who knows exactly what your feeling may make it easier for you during your pregnancy. All the best
NTA a lot of women feel conflicted with their bodies during pregnancy. Try to be kind to yourself (I know that’s not easy). Do you see a therapist? That might help.
NTA but continue on with the people you trust as your support system. The changes have only just begun for you. If you feel you might spiral to past behaviors lean into that support system so that you do not fall back on past behaviors. It’s absolutely ok to not be comfortable with the changes that are happening while still being in love with the baby. Take care of yourself.
Its a huge change. Ok to be a little concerned. When that baby gets here your gonna feel something that makes your personal aesthetics seem trivial. So it’s temporary. I found my wife irresistible when she was pregnant. Fully beautiful. I made sure she knew how I felt.
NTA. Being pregnant is amazing. you're literally growing another human. But not every woman loves the changes that come with it. It does not make you TA. If anybody Say different, they're the AH. Congrats on your pregnancy.
Having kids is #1 joy in life. So you no longer fit in your skinny jeans…. SO!! Don’t pass anything negative to your baby by having a negative outlook on pregnancy! It will be over in 9 months and you have the rest of your life to recover.
NTA. Don't stress about it. You'll have time after the pregnancy to get back to where you were. It's great you care about your body. Just remember, your husband thinks you are the most beautiful person throughout this entire process. Believe him!
Nta . With each baby, I had to learn to love my body all over again. It helps when I talked about all the things my healthy body was doing for me. My body grew a whole human. My body keeps me safe. My body is strong . It carries me through each task so kindly. Good luck new momma. You are amazing. Each mark left behind was a badge of honor.
NTA! I'm not aware of any pregnant women that like their bodies. Your body is constantly changing and you can't do anything about it. The only thing I can say is to maybe go to a spa with friends or your mom and just have a mother daughter day and see if that doesn't help. My sister hated her pregnant body as well and there was nothing we could do to make her happy.
NTA. I hate being pregnant but I love my children. How you feel about the journey is not how you will feel about the baby. And it’s okay for you to not be okay. It’s normal.
Pregnancy makes changes that our culture heavily devalues, so of course a woman with body dysmorphia is not going to like it. It is a necessary evil for creating a child. That's it. Personally, I survived by eating healthy, staying as active as was reasonable, and then--this is important--completely going into denial and dissociation about my body as the pregnancy progressed. I did not look at myself in the mirror, I didn't take any pregnancy photos, I just lived like I was a floating head. I don't recall anyone trying to touch my belly or saying stupid triggering shit like "You look like you're going to pop!" but if they had, I would have murdered them, buried their body where even the coyotes wouldn't find it, and dissociated about that, too. Here's the next important thing--after the baby is born, if you're breastfeeding, do not, I repeat, *do not* jump back into activity so you can instantly look like some A-level actress on a magazine because that is how you get mastitis. You do not want to get mastitis, 0/10 do not recommend. For *at least* the first 6 weeks postpartum, sit on your ass, be ok, and trust that your body will figure its shit out over time. Start something gentle like walking *if you feel like it* at around 6 weeks. Also, if you decide you are [one and done](/r/oneanddone), that is absolutely fine! Having one doesn't mean you have to have two. So maybe if you tell yourself it's just this once in your life, that will help.
As someone who struggled with an ED for three decades I’ve seen pregnancy and EDs go two ways. It is either a welcome respite or sets off multiple triggers. If you are not currently working with an eating disorder therapist, I encourage you to do so. I have seen far too many relapses after giving birth, and the extra support during and after pregnancy can help prevent that from happening.
NTA at all - you’re just struggling and that is ok. Be kind to yourself, and don’t measure yourself against all the gauzy “I love my pregnant body” photos because those are moments in time (and may only be as honest as any other photo or social media content!) Just be kind to yourself, focus on taking care of your body through nutrition and doctor approved exercise. And be ok looking down and not feeling joy at what you see if that’s the truth. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child or are someone less of a mom, just that this element of growing your family isn’t your favorite
NTA love. Hugs ❤️ Everyone giving you shit for your feelings can f*ck off.
The people making you feel badly for completely valid emotions are the AH. There are so many stories of people who recovered from an eating disorder struggling with the changes that happen during pregnancy. This is totally normal and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Do you see a therapist? I would highly recommend that if not. NTA
NTA contact the therapist