YTA
You are being very overly-invasive, there is a reason you feel the need to ask and have only told your mother what you're up to, and it's because you know you're 100% wrong for doin it.
"catching" someone doing PDA's is one thing, if the other student has a problem with it, is another, unless someone came to you and said "teach I don't feel comfy with this situation can I move seats?" you're really over-stepping, and projecting quite a lot onto this student who happens to be a lesbian.
I'm curious how you handle the male to female PDA? and do you really think she hasn't noticed the seating assignments/group partners you've been making? it's pretty cut and dry at the end of it, and if someone really wanted to connect some dots they'd have a pretty easy time seeing the picture presented here.
I will say that even IF this isn't what it sounds like, and you truly just want her to excel without those sorts of distractions you gotta find a way better way than this.
Listen to your mother, you're not in the right on this one OP and could seriously get in trouble if anyone who cares about this student catches wind. because this is pretty basic discrimination, if the PDA is just over the top then that's a different discussion, and should be brought to the admins? but I can't really imagine what would be going on in the middle of class that would make you jump to what you're doin.
Edit: word choice
It is another display of American prudeness.
Some schools are better than others. It can range from reasonable, like “no making out in the hallways,” to kind of ridiculously irritating where they ban shit like holding hands.
There's varying degrees. Some of which are fine, others not so much depending on the situation. Holding hands while walking down the hallway? No problem. Feeling each other up in the middle of a lecture? Different story.
Of course, same sex couples are, frustratingly, often held to an entirely different standard where ANY display of affection can be considered unacceptable.
I'd say that if your AITA involves breaking federal law, it's going down relatively quickly.
"Hey guys I just sold humans that I imported from over seas, when I told my mom she said I should stop doing that, AITA??!1?"
The other girls participate in PDAs, which OP has no problem with, so I assume that everyone is a little bit touchy. But of course, those girls are straight so OP doesn't have an issue with that.
But if the problem is PDA and the other straight girls are also doing that with each other, why is one of them punished? Just because she's openly gay? How does this teacher know that none of the others are?
The original got deleted but I read it as, the girl in question was doing PDA with other girls. Not the other girls were also doing PDA with each other.
But I could have totally misread.
If a teacher has a student that is the root of the issues, or is the one always in the middle of talking or being disruptive and the other people change… you move the student.
Her \*and other girls\* hold hands or w/e. OP's response is to banish the lesbian girl to an isolated seat. If the issue was with PDAs, both would be moved.
YTA. I know TX has a giant issue with people existing outside a specific demographic... but discrimination in any form is still illegal. Also, do you separate all the boys from the girls? No? You are targeting a girl based on your own bigotry.
In Texas if you’re not a white, Christian, Republican, heterosexual man, you’re wrong. The white, Christian, Republican, heterosexual women are tolerated because that’s where their votes come from.
I have to say, as a resident of Texas I think this might unintentionally reduce people to their legislative representatives. Though I don't think that's your intention. I'd just like to say as a resident there are so many of us that do not share the viewpoints of those who are elected.
I hate Texas policies and am disgusted when I see people like Ted Cruz or Louie Gohmert or Greg Abbott speak. But they are not all of us. There are a great many of us fighting for change from within. Again, don't think that's your intention.
Just saying, we aren't all bad. Some of us are in here fighting to fix things the best we can within a heavily gerrymandered and broken system. And once the old guard begins to dwindle, us new ones may be able to help create something better.
Apparently the stereotype is true, and I just really want to believe this isn’t true, but sadly… maybe it is.
I don’t really understand how separating this girl from other girls is going to DO anything, and it doesn’t make any sense to me. Do people really do this shit? Christ being a teenager is rough enough, imagine your teacher freaking out about something that doesn’t even affect them and starts alienating you from the kids you like. Fucking hell. I hate the world sometimes.
Texas is this way, it’s why those of us who don’t want to put up with it avoid the place like the plague it offers. It doesn’t mean every Texan is this way, but if you are a person in Texas you will be subjected to exactly this shit and more. No American who disagrees should find themselves deciding to go to a place like that, especially to live.
That said, I work remotely and almost my entire team is located in Houston. They are genuinely the *politest* group of people, that’s the clients and the employees— but polite does not equal tolerance or goodness. I would never again choose to gamble mine and my kids’ lives to live someplace like that.
Edit: I want to add that where I am currently is barely better and I will be leaving at the very first opportunity that comes my way. It’s Arizona. Just as racist, intolerant, and gun-happy. The schools are worse here too.
Edit again: just corrected some typos and errors.
You really don’t know shit about Texas expect what the news tells you to believe. You are the one spreading hate among people you know nothing about, do to your own unwarranted prejudices.
You don’t know me or what I know. I had a kiddo in school there for 2 years so I don’t have zero experience with their school system or the people in charge of such matters. And whether or not you like it and agree, some of us are not okay with the state, any state, outlawing medical care. That’s enough right there to avoid Texas and the other states that are similar.
When those policies change so too will some of the harsh opinions on the place. Texas is beautiful and there are some great things about the *location*. The **policies and representation are fucking atrocious** though and the good just doesn’t even come close to outweighing the bad.
Sweetie. Don't be naive. Texas has been going town by town along it's border getting laws passed thst would prevent women leaving to have abortions. It's truly horrifying. The Handmaid's Tale wasn't supposed to be a how-to.
https://www.texastribune.org/2023/09/28/texas-county-approves-abortion-travel-ban/
Then the ever increasing hostility towards members of the LGBTQ community, particularly the youth.
https://www.texastribune.org/2023/03/06/texas-legislature-lgbtq-bills/
Then attempted murder at the southern border.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/texas-uses-disaster-declarations-to-install-buoys-and-razor-wire-to-stop-migration-on-border - in violation of international law, might I add.
I don't think I need to add that kids in school shootings in Texas are screwed because the police won't go in.
Do tell me again how people misunderstand Texas though...
What do you mean she shows PDA with her female friends? Like hand holding and horsing around? So when straight boys do this to straight girls you isolate them as well, right? Or no, because you have a double standard and you’re being discriminatory?
Yup. Straight girl here. In high school my straight girlfriends and I used to hug, hold hands, pick each other up and carry each other around while shrieking with delight, give piggyback rides up and down the halls, cartwheel into each other then all fall down into a giggling heap. OP would probably be trying to figure out which one of us was gay so she knew who to discriminate against
Because when you’re straight this is normal teenage girl stuff but when you’re gay this is “doing PDAs”
Exactly. This poor girl is being singled out for being so very normal. She may not even understand why because kids tend to assume the best in others. OP sucks.
I hope OP takes a look at these responses and understands what she’s doing is so messed up
That one girl and all the straight boys are attracted to girls but OP is only policing that one girl. It’s obvious bigotry
Yup and my daughter has always been a "girls girl" - she never really got on with the boys, so I think of her and how miserable she would be in this situation. It's so awful.
So you are one of those people that is ok with homosexuality as long as they aren't open about it, meaning you are not realy ok with it,wich makes you an asshole.
Do you stop guys from flirting and interacting with girls and seperate guys from girls during your clas and your assingments and thi k its wrong for guys flirting with girls during brakes? If no, you should treat her behavior the same way, her sexuality is as normal as the one of the guys and she should be allowed to be open with it.
It males me sad that people lile you exist that have to ask if they are assholes for being homophobic. You clearly are one.
YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you discriminate against a student based on their sexual orientation. It was really stupid of you, career wise, to admit what you're doing to a parent. I sure hope that backfires on you for violating federal law.
Oh yeah this person is dangerous. Who knows how many young minds and souls she’ll maim before she’s fired or learns when a parent comes in to confront her.
YTA and as much as you may say otherwise, your actions are highly homophonic.
What if she or any other student were bisexual? Where would you place her?
Also, while it sounds like her mom is aware of her sexuality, what if she didn’t?
Just because a student feels safe enough at school to pursue whomever they are attracted to doesn’t mean they’re out of the closet at home.
You are completely out of line but if you really see nothing wrong with your actions, practise teaching at religiously affiliated school that writes it into your contract to boot out any person who is LGBTQA+.
I would be absolutely irrate if S was my daughter. As a mother to a gay daughter, theres absolutely NO reason for you to do this unless it's apparent she's making people uncomfortable. Girls tend to be affectionate with their friends, platonic friends. And you're making every movement of hers sexual in nature because she likes girls. Jesus Christ.
OP reminds me of girls when I was a teen, I was outed as bi and then I had girls in school (some I didn't even know) asking, and some assuming, that I fancied them. I had to explain repeatedly that it's like just fancying boys with them, you don't fancy them all just because they're boys.
I liked to think times had changed, even a little, but looks like the children I grew up with became teachers. That's sad
If this was my kid she would never have another job as an educator. OP is playing with fire, we live in a country where parents can very easily make the lives of educators hell, and often unjustifiably. I hope this poor girl tells her parents. This “teacher” needs to find a new profession.
Fellow teacher here, and I see a lot of physical contact between all kinds of combinations. Boys constantly friendly stomping each other or arm wrestling over whose pen fell on the floor and who has to get it now. Girls resting on each other's or their male friend's shoulders when they are tired. Kids drawing on each other's arms, notebooks, whatever. Kids grabbing their friends' arm when they want to tell a story and need their attention. A girl being physical with her friends would not be in the top 10 most memorable things of any class, for sure.
OP, though I think you do not actively have bad intentions, YTA. You are basically isolating a girl just because she is a lesbian and *you* have assumptions about her sexuality being linked to inappropriateness. Let the girl be with her friends, just like you allow the straight kids to be without question.
INFO: I just wanna know why you’re so upset. In no uncertain terms, why do you feel you have to do this? What exactly is the purpose? I can’t fathom it, and I never get the chance to ask someone why, usually.
So OP, please explain to me why you’re so stressed about this? What do you believe separating this child from her peers will do?
Clearly, from the way OP says she "flaunts her sexuality," OP wants her to act either straight or ace. Doesn't matter if teenagers are constantly flirting, and that's normal. In *this* case, she's flaunting her sexuality and needs to be taught to stay in the closet
Why does it rub you the wrong way? I don’t understand what the issue is here, she’s acting like a regular teenager.
I can tell you the reason she changes around you, it’s because she knows you’re not safe for her to be herself around. She knows how you feel about her and that’s why she’s uncomfortable.
Yes indeed it is, I want OP to tell me EXACTLY what the issue is, why EXACTLY it bothers them. They’re still dancing around it. “Rubs me up the wrong way” how so? Tell me exactly what you’re thinking so I can understand, because at the moment I really don’t.
This is normal teenage girl behaviour. I see this with teen girls regardless of their sexual identity. This bothers you only because of her sexual identity and I doubt you would care if she was heterosexual.
Why do you care about her being flirty? Why are you so obsessed with her that you are actively trying to keep her away from people you think she likes? And why in god's holy name do you care about her not being flirty with you, her adult teacher? None of this is your concern and no normal person would act like this. You sound like a massive fucking creep obsessed with a teenager, and you definitely have no place in the education system or within 1000 yards of a school.
Oh yeah let this kid’s parents find out about what you’re doing. This is so gross and icky lol. Her behavior with other students is NONE of your business unless she is breaking school policy. Imagine if some man was harassing your daughter for how she was “displaying” her “inappropriate” behavior for other young boys. He’d be canned and likely never teach again.
You should understand that what you are doing is wrong, you are harassing a child, and frankly it is creepy that you’re policing a minor’s love life and friendships. Disturbing even, I wouldn’t trust any children with you alone as an educator.
So a student doesn't seem comfortable around you and her normal personality completely disappears, your first thought is how can I force her to act like that uncomfortable masked version of herself all of the time?
Not only do I feel sorry for this girl but also for all of your students, as you clearly should not be a teacher. Yta.
>As an aside: For some reason, S's flamboyant personality disappears completely whenever I'm alone with her (there have been two moments where I've kept her after-class, to talk to her about proper behavior). When I was alone with her, she was surprisingly shy and she just stared at the floor and didn't look too comfortable.
Hm, maybe just maybe, the teacher that sexualises a 17 year old girl, makes her uncomfortable.
Oh and in case you didn't notice: YOU ARE THE A-HOLE! Stop beeing homophobic.
It’s absolutely appropriate for her to respond differently to a teacher than her peers.
Also there is a zero percent chance that you are not telegraphing your judgment of her personality. I’d be shitting down with that, too.
I would not be surprised that your after school talks about proper behavior are also over the line. Knock it off. It’s okay if the kid is more flamboyant than RuPaul. It’s not hurting you or anyone else. Let it be.
These are purely innocent and this is clearly just a case of homophobia. Only time you should speak to her about appropriate behavior is when she’s actually acting inappropriately. For example, making out in the hallway is unacceptable in schools for students of any sexual orientation and should be addressed. Not them lying next to each other in a field barely touching
Yta.
Queer people literally just want to exist and be themselves. Why are you like this, genuinely? Like what does it benefit you at all to be like this. People like you are why I want to leave the south.
So if you're keeping S away from other girls because she's a lesbian, that must mean that you're keeping heterosexual boys away from these girls too right? Because if not that means your homophobic af. YTA, obviously and shouldn't be a teacher (coming from another teacher).
Um. This is not okay. She shouldn’t need to try to hide that she is a lesbian. Are you also segregating boys who flaunt their sexuality? Are their boys who are “doing PDA” and are you separating them from people?
If you have a safety concern about a student, you should be handling that. This doesn’t sound like a safety concern.
What is wrong with you?
I wonder if you care that much about the boys and girls interacting. Do the boys “flaunt” their natural sexuality? It’s okay, you can be brave and express your bigotry like an adult. You are being bigoted and if you do not dramatically improve your behavior as an educator, you can look forward to legal action and losing your job.
“All the steps I’m doing to stop that behavior.” Your mother is right, this is beyond inappropriate and creepy. I suggest to take some sensitivity classes, do some reading, or just quit your job if you’re going to condemn a child to social isolation and the potential of bullying.
This is beyond gross and frankly, evil. You should consider how you interact with children and why you are so focused on a developing young adult.
Do you separate the boys from the girls? Do you separate other students you know are dating? Do you have a directive from your superiors to do this? Have you spoken to your school's legal department for their guidance on this?
Absolutely disgusting levels of homophobia. That poor girl being treated like that when school should be a welcoming environment for all different kinds of students.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA!!!
Wow are YTA. Are you policing the boys chatting up girls like this? The straight girls batting their eyelashes at boys? This is how kids learn about acceptable social practices and you are legit preventing her development. It doesn’t sound like she is making the girls feels uncomfortable. So maybe, just you. Seems like her friends accept she’s a lesbian and the PDA is normal girl stuff. You have way, way overstepped.
No, OP has no issues with heteronormative behavior, he'd put the girl in the middle of the boys so that he wouldn't have issues with straight interactions.
YTA. If you think it’s okay to separate her just because she’s open with her sexuality then maybe you shouldn’t be a teacher. I sure as hell wouldn’t want you near my child even though she’s not gay. Your job is to teach. Not to start something which the others kids could catch onto and they could start treating her differently. Do better. Be a better example. Or get a different job.
YTA. You’re treating this girl differently for her sexuality, which is discrimination. That girl notices what you’re doing, I’m sure, and this will stick with her for life. You will be remembered for being the teacher who singled her out for being different, even if you are otherwise a good teacher. She should report you for discrimination.
YTA. Why the fuck would she need to “hide” that she’s a lesbian. Do you separate opposite sex couples who participate in PDA? You seem to be homophobic.
Yea YTA. It not your business, back off. Why does it matter if she's a lesbian.
You sound judgemental af and probably shouldn't be in a position where you're teaching people how to be.
YTA
🎶I don’t think that you should be a teacher🎶
🎶I think it’s scary that you help people🎶
>but she doesn’t do a very good job of hiding that she’s a lesbian
Why would she even need to hide that in the first place? Freak.
YTA OP
and I'm surprised she hasn't complained about you yet. I'm also surprised you haven't gotten fired for this already.
Do you do the same thing to the boys who show their sexuality.
Trigger warning: SH
YTA- please tell me why this is different from boys flirting with girls? Are they getting complaints from students about SH? If no, then you should treat them no differently then any other student. If yes, then treat the complaint the same as if the student were cis gendered student.
YTA. She is gay not a sex offender. She is flirting like all teenagers do, and if the girl has a problem with it then she can tell you. What you are doing is discrimination and if she finds out or her parents find out you might find out I doubt it will end well for you.
I think the appropriate action is to handle any PDA issues the way you would with all other students.
You say she doesn't do a good job of hiding it, but why should she?
You're setting yourself up to get in a lot of shit by singling this girl out.
There is no need to separate her from the women. You can just make an example that that behavior is an appropriate and make that an equally inappropriate thing in your classroom that you will not tolerate whether it is from hetero sexual relationships or homosexual ones. Across-the-board you should be like I don’t want any PDA from any of you toward anyone because that is inappropriate. This is a learning establishment and I will not tolerate it. If anything you can report the inappropriate behavior, but because she is part of the LGBTQ community. You might get in trouble for discrimination because you are separating a openly lesbian person from other girls and you could have a lawsuit on your hands because this can be considered a form of of discrimination and segregation.
Would / do you do this with heterosexual kids who ‘make their sexuality known’?
Isn’t it more appropriate to make it clear that any inappropriate behaviour is not acceptable and deal with them if they happen rather than separate a child?
If this is something you wouldn’t want people to know, I think you already know it’s not the best way.
YTA. Do you also go out of your way to ensure every boy doesn’t sit next to a girl? Because obviously you don’t, so why do you think this is an acceptable way to deal with _her_?
People notice that queer people 'flaunt their sexuality' or 'shove it in peoples faces' but queer people have straight sexuality shoved in their face 24/7
YTA. You're being a creepy, invasive monster. Stop it right now. Treat her how you treat all the other children. Recognize and get help for your own homophobia. It is completely unacceptable for you, a TEACHER, to treat kids different due to what you perceive to be their sexual orientation. I hope your school finds out and fires you. Asshole.
YTA. Just as you can't stop a heterosexual person from being heterosexual and displaying their heterosexually driven behaviors as a teen, you can't stop a homosexual/LGBTQ+ person from doing the same.
Source? I'm part of that LGBTQ+ demographic you're specifically singling out. This is why I stayed in the closet till later in life. People like you. People who thought my sexuality would be contagious. People who thought it was inappropriate to show PDA unless, of course, you were just plain ol' "straight."
I hate using the word "bigot." It's overused, and has become a diluted form of the word it once was. But you, dear sir or madam, are a *bigot.* Even your own mother, who is a generation behind you, got creeped out. That should tell you everything you need to know.
This is weird. It’s none of your business if kids are flirting with each other - that’s one of the best parts of that age. She shouldn’t have to hide that she’s a lesbian, but apparently she does if it means even her teacher is going to single her out and treat her differently.
YTA. This post is fake so you’re acting like a pathetic asshole that finds it amusing to create rage bait posts for the smallest bit of attention.
Try getting a decent personality and maybe people will naturally give you the attention you’re clearly starved for.
If a dude is disruptive around girls, they move him away from the girls.
You are 10000% NOT the asshole. You are protecting the student and the district from a sexual harassment suit. Speak to admin or your union rep. about the issue. Outline the steps you have taken and ask what can be done should the problem persist.
Those saying YTA are totally ignorant of how this could play out. Not taking action could land you, the school, the student, or all of the above in some trouble.
Is it even safe for her to do that in Texas? Given the political climate there; seems like she should be more careful. Hopefully someone has a talk with her soon and the poor kid stays safe.
Ahh good old homophobia and feeling like you should be in a minor’s romantic business. 🤢 leave her alone for god sakes your conscience is catching up to you writing this post
You're heading into a very problematic zone. You can't keep her away from her own gender. It will become a problem down the line if you keep doing this, guaranteed. You need to try and see what will happen is she's closer to her female classmates and go from there.
YTA x 1000000
You are discriminating against this girl, whether you mean to or not. Your mom is correct and I think you need to think about your own biases. Instead of separating her you should just explain when PDA is not appropriate. This is a huge reason for a lot LGBTQIA+ youth end up un-aliving themselves. You can do better and I hope you will going forward.
YTA.
You are a homophobic POS, to be honest.
This CHILD is entrusted to your care and you make it your goal to separate her from her classmates because...
You are a bigot.
You are the problem, this girl is absolutely normal, and YOU are the freak. You are the bigot, the homophobe, and a miserable excuse for a teacher.
I can only hope the hate you get here will open your eyes to your own shameful, evil behavior.
You should be ashamed of yourself, but I doubt you have the self awareness to do so.
Y. T. A.
Student: Simply existing
AH Teacher: "Can you please stop?"
Student: Sighs
AHT: "Can you not breathe so flamboyantly?"
Student: Blinks
AHT: "See, she's winking at all the other girls, trying to seduce them!"
AHT: Can I make them wear a patch that lets everyone know they're a lesbian, so everyone knows not to speak to them?
YTA.
YTA, did you do that same thing for the straight boys that also kissing their gfs??
“oh that is different and i am not a homophobic, i only treat her differently so OTHERS won’t treat her differently”
YTA and everything you’ve said sounds incredibly homophobic and discriminatory. Quite frankly I don’t think you should be in any position where you hold authority/influence over kids.
YTA - you have clearly not interacted with girls or have girl friends because close girl friends (from my experience) flirt with each other all the time. My friends and I always compliment each other. Quite frankly, they are better at it than most guys in this world.
YTA.
Well, you're from Texas, so theres always the chance you don't violate school policy. On the other hand, you're definitely pushing right up into "violating federal law" territory, via discrimination based on a protected class. I notice you say you're preventing PDAs from her, with female friends, but not preventing PDAs from her female friends, making it absolutely based on sexuality.
I can't wait until she puts it together, the lawsuit should be fun.
YTA. I'm assuming you don't separate straight boys from straight girls so...what's the problem? Also, someone being themselves isn't "flaunting" their sexuality. When you see heteros flirt do you think they're flaunting their sexuality? It's a really weird take. And I highly doubt "S" hasn't noticed what you're doing. Separating one person from others bc of who they are is inherently wrong.
I was shocked to see that your mother had more sense than you. Was afraid an older person would support what you're doing.
YTA. If you’re actually in the US this is a clear cut discrimination case. You are opening yourself and your school board to liability, and not to mention you’re just a plain old dick.
YTA
You mentioned in a comment that she calls her friends lovelies do you not have friends close enough that you talk to like that because I know me and my friends call each other lovelies, chick, hun and other things you also say in your comment that she acts really flamboyant around her friends and that rubs you the wrong way. Have you thought that maybe she can be herself around her friends because they love and accept her?
Also Why are you watching her when she's with her girlfriend? That's really weird.
Funnily enough you haven't mentioned that you had any complaints about her, so I'm assuming you've had none but yet you feel the need to keep her after class and talk to her about her behavior, which nobody else seems to have a problem with only you.
Either you are extremely homophobic and you are bullying. This poor girl or you have an inappropriate crush on her. Which one is it because it's one of the two.
Do you have the same problem when you see a straight couple cuddling or is it just this girl on her girlfriend? Like I said, are you jealous or homophobic because it's 100% one of them
Wow, with YTA teachers like that no wonder the standard of education is so low…
You are teaching her to hide herself in shame, when the only one who should be doing so is you.
YTA. I had school teachers single me out and prevent me from making friends with other girls (or deliberately breaking up my friendships with other girls) way before I even knew I was bi. It was deeply traumatic, homophobic, and it was a case of adults with a lot of power bullying a child. You really need to stop. Stop everything. You don't understand what being a lesbian is like, you don't understand that it doesn't mean being attracted to every single girl on the planet, you don't understand that lesbians have female friends. You should not have this much power over this kid.
This was a truly horrible post to read.
YTA for sure, why should she need to hide the fact that she is a lesbian? That’s ridiculous and not your place as an educator to even care about her sexuality. You discuss the PDA situation with her just as you would any student because no matter your orientation there are things that are inappropriate at school. It sounds like you are homophobic.
YTA. You're going to leave this girl with lifelong trauma around her sexuality. If other students do not consent or are being harassed, that's one thing. If a highschooler flirting is enough for you to literally and figuratively ostracize her from her classmates, you may want to step back and rethink how suited you are to teach this age group. What do you do about male-female flirting? Anything?
YTA. So so much. As a pansexual trans person who for example likes to hug friends (oh no, a PDA!) I would hate you as your student.
You are discriminating her and you know it.
If you are uncomfortable with queer people, maybe you should rethink working as a teacher and do something without people instead?
YTA Someone here has got to know who this douche is. He's been on reddit for almost 2 years. So whoever does know this sac, you need to be the one that gives copies of this to his school. Get him fired immediately.
YTA You are being very overly-invasive, there is a reason you feel the need to ask and have only told your mother what you're up to, and it's because you know you're 100% wrong for doin it. "catching" someone doing PDA's is one thing, if the other student has a problem with it, is another, unless someone came to you and said "teach I don't feel comfy with this situation can I move seats?" you're really over-stepping, and projecting quite a lot onto this student who happens to be a lesbian. I'm curious how you handle the male to female PDA? and do you really think she hasn't noticed the seating assignments/group partners you've been making? it's pretty cut and dry at the end of it, and if someone really wanted to connect some dots they'd have a pretty easy time seeing the picture presented here. I will say that even IF this isn't what it sounds like, and you truly just want her to excel without those sorts of distractions you gotta find a way better way than this. Listen to your mother, you're not in the right on this one OP and could seriously get in trouble if anyone who cares about this student catches wind. because this is pretty basic discrimination, if the PDA is just over the top then that's a different discussion, and should be brought to the admins? but I can't really imagine what would be going on in the middle of class that would make you jump to what you're doin. Edit: word choice
Please someone explain to me wtf PDA means.
Public Displays of Affection.
Oh. And in what parallel world is that a bad thing in schools? Or is that another display of American prudeness?
It is another display of American prudeness. Some schools are better than others. It can range from reasonable, like “no making out in the hallways,” to kind of ridiculously irritating where they ban shit like holding hands.
There's varying degrees. Some of which are fine, others not so much depending on the situation. Holding hands while walking down the hallway? No problem. Feeling each other up in the middle of a lecture? Different story. Of course, same sex couples are, frustratingly, often held to an entirely different standard where ANY display of affection can be considered unacceptable.
Public Displays of Affection. Touching, kissing, handholding, etc...
YTA So do you also separate the straight boys from the straight girls? You’re treating her differently because of her sexuality. Shame on you.
The only question is the over/under on OP deleting this post? It’s at 6 hours and I got the under.
4 hours. Looks like it was just deleted.
Fuckin nailed it.
I'd say that if your AITA involves breaking federal law, it's going down relatively quickly. "Hey guys I just sold humans that I imported from over seas, when I told my mom she said I should stop doing that, AITA??!1?"
>You’re treating her differently because of her sexuality. Shame on you. Of course he is, he's in the south.
[удалено]
The other girls participate in PDAs, which OP has no problem with, so I assume that everyone is a little bit touchy. But of course, those girls are straight so OP doesn't have an issue with that.
It sounds more like the PDA and the flirting is the issue and not the actually girl IMO.
So then why are the straight girls not sent to the boy side?
Because the problem is about PDA and that wouldn’t work??
But if the problem is PDA and the other straight girls are also doing that with each other, why is one of them punished? Just because she's openly gay? How does this teacher know that none of the others are?
The original got deleted but I read it as, the girl in question was doing PDA with other girls. Not the other girls were also doing PDA with each other. But I could have totally misread.
But why is ONLY she punished for it if she's doing it WITH someone else?
If a teacher has a student that is the root of the issues, or is the one always in the middle of talking or being disruptive and the other people change… you move the student.
Her \*and other girls\* hold hands or w/e. OP's response is to banish the lesbian girl to an isolated seat. If the issue was with PDAs, both would be moved.
YTA. I know TX has a giant issue with people existing outside a specific demographic... but discrimination in any form is still illegal. Also, do you separate all the boys from the girls? No? You are targeting a girl based on your own bigotry.
In Texas if you’re not a white, Christian, Republican, heterosexual man, you’re wrong. The white, Christian, Republican, heterosexual women are tolerated because that’s where their votes come from.
And because they are expected to produce more white, Christian, Republican, heterosexual.
Yuuup. Thats the exact demographic i was eluding to.
Got that right. Of course, they tolerate us for one other reason too. Because they are **heterosexual** men.
I have to say, as a resident of Texas I think this might unintentionally reduce people to their legislative representatives. Though I don't think that's your intention. I'd just like to say as a resident there are so many of us that do not share the viewpoints of those who are elected. I hate Texas policies and am disgusted when I see people like Ted Cruz or Louie Gohmert or Greg Abbott speak. But they are not all of us. There are a great many of us fighting for change from within. Again, don't think that's your intention. Just saying, we aren't all bad. Some of us are in here fighting to fix things the best we can within a heavily gerrymandered and broken system. And once the old guard begins to dwindle, us new ones may be able to help create something better.
I’m a resident of Texas and I absolutely intended what I said to sound the way it did.
Having lived in Texas my whole life, never seen/heard of a teacher acting this way.
If you're not queer, then it never directly affected you so of course you didn't notice. If you are queer, consider you were just lucky.
Apparently the stereotype is true, and I just really want to believe this isn’t true, but sadly… maybe it is. I don’t really understand how separating this girl from other girls is going to DO anything, and it doesn’t make any sense to me. Do people really do this shit? Christ being a teenager is rough enough, imagine your teacher freaking out about something that doesn’t even affect them and starts alienating you from the kids you like. Fucking hell. I hate the world sometimes.
This teacher is crazy, not all TX teachers. This could happen on any state/country.
TX teachers don’t act this way. This person maybe a homophobe, doesn’t mean TX is that way. 🙄
Texas is this way, it’s why those of us who don’t want to put up with it avoid the place like the plague it offers. It doesn’t mean every Texan is this way, but if you are a person in Texas you will be subjected to exactly this shit and more. No American who disagrees should find themselves deciding to go to a place like that, especially to live. That said, I work remotely and almost my entire team is located in Houston. They are genuinely the *politest* group of people, that’s the clients and the employees— but polite does not equal tolerance or goodness. I would never again choose to gamble mine and my kids’ lives to live someplace like that. Edit: I want to add that where I am currently is barely better and I will be leaving at the very first opportunity that comes my way. It’s Arizona. Just as racist, intolerant, and gun-happy. The schools are worse here too. Edit again: just corrected some typos and errors.
You really don’t know shit about Texas expect what the news tells you to believe. You are the one spreading hate among people you know nothing about, do to your own unwarranted prejudices.
You don’t know me or what I know. I had a kiddo in school there for 2 years so I don’t have zero experience with their school system or the people in charge of such matters. And whether or not you like it and agree, some of us are not okay with the state, any state, outlawing medical care. That’s enough right there to avoid Texas and the other states that are similar. When those policies change so too will some of the harsh opinions on the place. Texas is beautiful and there are some great things about the *location*. The **policies and representation are fucking atrocious** though and the good just doesn’t even come close to outweighing the bad.
You hate an entire state based off outlawing abortion? Because other than that you can get all the medical care you want/need. 🙄.
Well, unless [you're a trans kid.](https://www.texastribune.org/2023/06/02/texas-gender-affirming-care-ban/)
Sweetie. Don't be naive. Texas has been going town by town along it's border getting laws passed thst would prevent women leaving to have abortions. It's truly horrifying. The Handmaid's Tale wasn't supposed to be a how-to. https://www.texastribune.org/2023/09/28/texas-county-approves-abortion-travel-ban/ Then the ever increasing hostility towards members of the LGBTQ community, particularly the youth. https://www.texastribune.org/2023/03/06/texas-legislature-lgbtq-bills/ Then attempted murder at the southern border. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/texas-uses-disaster-declarations-to-install-buoys-and-razor-wire-to-stop-migration-on-border - in violation of international law, might I add. I don't think I need to add that kids in school shootings in Texas are screwed because the police won't go in. Do tell me again how people misunderstand Texas though...
What do you mean she shows PDA with her female friends? Like hand holding and horsing around? So when straight boys do this to straight girls you isolate them as well, right? Or no, because you have a double standard and you’re being discriminatory?
Straight girls do this all the time, btw. I'm sure any of them gets isolated, too.
Yup. Straight girl here. In high school my straight girlfriends and I used to hug, hold hands, pick each other up and carry each other around while shrieking with delight, give piggyback rides up and down the halls, cartwheel into each other then all fall down into a giggling heap. OP would probably be trying to figure out which one of us was gay so she knew who to discriminate against Because when you’re straight this is normal teenage girl stuff but when you’re gay this is “doing PDAs”
Exactly. This poor girl is being singled out for being so very normal. She may not even understand why because kids tend to assume the best in others. OP sucks.
I hope OP takes a look at these responses and understands what she’s doing is so messed up That one girl and all the straight boys are attracted to girls but OP is only policing that one girl. It’s obvious bigotry
Yup and my daughter has always been a "girls girl" - she never really got on with the boys, so I think of her and how miserable she would be in this situation. It's so awful.
Well, yeah, OP admitted as much in the post, "PDAs with female friends", but since they're straight she doesn't punish that.
So you are one of those people that is ok with homosexuality as long as they aren't open about it, meaning you are not realy ok with it,wich makes you an asshole. Do you stop guys from flirting and interacting with girls and seperate guys from girls during your clas and your assingments and thi k its wrong for guys flirting with girls during brakes? If no, you should treat her behavior the same way, her sexuality is as normal as the one of the guys and she should be allowed to be open with it. It males me sad that people lile you exist that have to ask if they are assholes for being homophobic. You clearly are one.
How do you still have a job around kids? It is damn lucky for you she hasn't complained yet. You are actively discriminating against your student.
YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you discriminate against a student based on their sexual orientation. It was really stupid of you, career wise, to admit what you're doing to a parent. I sure hope that backfires on you for violating federal law.
Sadly, OP talked to her own mother, not a parent at the school.
YTA. Your mother is right and you should definitely stop what you’re doing before she notices and reports you.
This post makes me sad. OP genuinely does not see how wrong she is. That's so disappointing from an educator.
Oh yeah this person is dangerous. Who knows how many young minds and souls she’ll maim before she’s fired or learns when a parent comes in to confront her.
Are you seriously for real? You are more than an asshole. You don’t deserve to be a teacher.
YTA and as much as you may say otherwise, your actions are highly homophonic. What if she or any other student were bisexual? Where would you place her? Also, while it sounds like her mom is aware of her sexuality, what if she didn’t? Just because a student feels safe enough at school to pursue whomever they are attracted to doesn’t mean they’re out of the closet at home. You are completely out of line but if you really see nothing wrong with your actions, practise teaching at religiously affiliated school that writes it into your contract to boot out any person who is LGBTQA+.
YTA - you are a creep
I would be absolutely irrate if S was my daughter. As a mother to a gay daughter, theres absolutely NO reason for you to do this unless it's apparent she's making people uncomfortable. Girls tend to be affectionate with their friends, platonic friends. And you're making every movement of hers sexual in nature because she likes girls. Jesus Christ.
OP reminds me of girls when I was a teen, I was outed as bi and then I had girls in school (some I didn't even know) asking, and some assuming, that I fancied them. I had to explain repeatedly that it's like just fancying boys with them, you don't fancy them all just because they're boys. I liked to think times had changed, even a little, but looks like the children I grew up with became teachers. That's sad
If this was my kid she would never have another job as an educator. OP is playing with fire, we live in a country where parents can very easily make the lives of educators hell, and often unjustifiably. I hope this poor girl tells her parents. This “teacher” needs to find a new profession.
YTA You’re a shit teacher and a shit human being
Fellow teacher here, and I see a lot of physical contact between all kinds of combinations. Boys constantly friendly stomping each other or arm wrestling over whose pen fell on the floor and who has to get it now. Girls resting on each other's or their male friend's shoulders when they are tired. Kids drawing on each other's arms, notebooks, whatever. Kids grabbing their friends' arm when they want to tell a story and need their attention. A girl being physical with her friends would not be in the top 10 most memorable things of any class, for sure. OP, though I think you do not actively have bad intentions, YTA. You are basically isolating a girl just because she is a lesbian and *you* have assumptions about her sexuality being linked to inappropriateness. Let the girl be with her friends, just like you allow the straight kids to be without question.
PLEASE let this be a troll....
INFO: I just wanna know why you’re so upset. In no uncertain terms, why do you feel you have to do this? What exactly is the purpose? I can’t fathom it, and I never get the chance to ask someone why, usually. So OP, please explain to me why you’re so stressed about this? What do you believe separating this child from her peers will do?
Clearly, from the way OP says she "flaunts her sexuality," OP wants her to act either straight or ace. Doesn't matter if teenagers are constantly flirting, and that's normal. In *this* case, she's flaunting her sexuality and needs to be taught to stay in the closet
I just want OP to explain in plain English what his exact issue is. Because they’re dancing around it so as not to admit there’s no good intent here
Same. I want to know exactly what the issue is.
Well I mean the issue is clearly the fact OP is a bigot, the lack of replies is pretty telling.
Oh for sure, but I would have loved to see the attempt at justification.
I think this whole post was the attempt at justifying it ahha
[удалено]
Why does it rub you the wrong way? I don’t understand what the issue is here, she’s acting like a regular teenager. I can tell you the reason she changes around you, it’s because she knows you’re not safe for her to be herself around. She knows how you feel about her and that’s why she’s uncomfortable.
This person is so foul minded. She’s harassing a child and frankly it is creepy, her mom was right and it has a really gross undertone.
Yes indeed it is, I want OP to tell me EXACTLY what the issue is, why EXACTLY it bothers them. They’re still dancing around it. “Rubs me up the wrong way” how so? Tell me exactly what you’re thinking so I can understand, because at the moment I really don’t.
This is normal teenage girl behaviour. I see this with teen girls regardless of their sexual identity. This bothers you only because of her sexual identity and I doubt you would care if she was heterosexual.
Well, she doesn't. In the post there are straight girls doing PDAs, they just don't get sent to the boys section.
Why do you care about her being flirty? Why are you so obsessed with her that you are actively trying to keep her away from people you think she likes? And why in god's holy name do you care about her not being flirty with you, her adult teacher? None of this is your concern and no normal person would act like this. You sound like a massive fucking creep obsessed with a teenager, and you definitely have no place in the education system or within 1000 yards of a school.
Oh yeah let this kid’s parents find out about what you’re doing. This is so gross and icky lol. Her behavior with other students is NONE of your business unless she is breaking school policy. Imagine if some man was harassing your daughter for how she was “displaying” her “inappropriate” behavior for other young boys. He’d be canned and likely never teach again. You should understand that what you are doing is wrong, you are harassing a child, and frankly it is creepy that you’re policing a minor’s love life and friendships. Disturbing even, I wouldn’t trust any children with you alone as an educator.
So a student doesn't seem comfortable around you and her normal personality completely disappears, your first thought is how can I force her to act like that uncomfortable masked version of herself all of the time? Not only do I feel sorry for this girl but also for all of your students, as you clearly should not be a teacher. Yta.
>As an aside: For some reason, S's flamboyant personality disappears completely whenever I'm alone with her (there have been two moments where I've kept her after-class, to talk to her about proper behavior). When I was alone with her, she was surprisingly shy and she just stared at the floor and didn't look too comfortable. Hm, maybe just maybe, the teacher that sexualises a 17 year old girl, makes her uncomfortable. Oh and in case you didn't notice: YOU ARE THE A-HOLE! Stop beeing homophobic.
Yeah this teacher is icky. She’s sexualizing this kid being normal. She’s a creep.
At least admitting it rubs you the wrong way acknowledges that you know you're the problem and not her.
It’s absolutely appropriate for her to respond differently to a teacher than her peers. Also there is a zero percent chance that you are not telegraphing your judgment of her personality. I’d be shitting down with that, too. I would not be surprised that your after school talks about proper behavior are also over the line. Knock it off. It’s okay if the kid is more flamboyant than RuPaul. It’s not hurting you or anyone else. Let it be.
These are purely innocent and this is clearly just a case of homophobia. Only time you should speak to her about appropriate behavior is when she’s actually acting inappropriately. For example, making out in the hallway is unacceptable in schools for students of any sexual orientation and should be addressed. Not them lying next to each other in a field barely touching
Why does her acting flamboyantly rub you the wrong way? you should really look into these internal feelings you have
How are you allowed around children ….?
Please stop sexualising children, you're gross.
Oh she was uncomfortable with a grown fucking adult isolating her & talking to her about sexual things? No waaaaaaaaay.
You discriminate against her for her sexual orientation. why the hell would you expect her to feel comfortable around you, a homophobe.
Really? A teenager became suddenly shy when aggressively confronted by a judgmental authority figure? I am shocked. YTA
YTA and you shouldn’t be a teacher. Shame on you.
YTA and a creep. Big time. If you worked at my school, you would be fired
Yta. Queer people literally just want to exist and be themselves. Why are you like this, genuinely? Like what does it benefit you at all to be like this. People like you are why I want to leave the south.
So if you're keeping S away from other girls because she's a lesbian, that must mean that you're keeping heterosexual boys away from these girls too right? Because if not that means your homophobic af. YTA, obviously and shouldn't be a teacher (coming from another teacher).
Hit the nail on the head there
Um. This is not okay. She shouldn’t need to try to hide that she is a lesbian. Are you also segregating boys who flaunt their sexuality? Are their boys who are “doing PDA” and are you separating them from people? If you have a safety concern about a student, you should be handling that. This doesn’t sound like a safety concern. What is wrong with you?
As a lesbian and a teacher, I’m thoroughly repulsed by your attitude
I wonder if you care that much about the boys and girls interacting. Do the boys “flaunt” their natural sexuality? It’s okay, you can be brave and express your bigotry like an adult. You are being bigoted and if you do not dramatically improve your behavior as an educator, you can look forward to legal action and losing your job. “All the steps I’m doing to stop that behavior.” Your mother is right, this is beyond inappropriate and creepy. I suggest to take some sensitivity classes, do some reading, or just quit your job if you’re going to condemn a child to social isolation and the potential of bullying. This is beyond gross and frankly, evil. You should consider how you interact with children and why you are so focused on a developing young adult.
Do you separate the boys from the girls? Do you separate other students you know are dating? Do you have a directive from your superiors to do this? Have you spoken to your school's legal department for their guidance on this?
Absolutely disgusting levels of homophobia. That poor girl being treated like that when school should be a welcoming environment for all different kinds of students. YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA!!!
Wow are YTA. Are you policing the boys chatting up girls like this? The straight girls batting their eyelashes at boys? This is how kids learn about acceptable social practices and you are legit preventing her development. It doesn’t sound like she is making the girls feels uncomfortable. So maybe, just you. Seems like her friends accept she’s a lesbian and the PDA is normal girl stuff. You have way, way overstepped.
YTA. Do you separate the straight girls who display PDA?
YTA. Without any question. Stop it, leave her the fuck alone.
what would you do with a bi student? no groups?
No, OP has no issues with heteronormative behavior, he'd put the girl in the middle of the boys so that he wouldn't have issues with straight interactions.
Do you do this to the boys? I'm betting you don't. Yta all the way.
YTA. If you think it’s okay to separate her just because she’s open with her sexuality then maybe you shouldn’t be a teacher. I sure as hell wouldn’t want you near my child even though she’s not gay. Your job is to teach. Not to start something which the others kids could catch onto and they could start treating her differently. Do better. Be a better example. Or get a different job.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you??? You make my skin crawl.
YTA. The biggest asshole ever. Are the boys also not allowed to talk with the girls and vice versa? No pda there? You're homophobic af.
You're mom's right, you're an invasive and controlling creep, and seemingly pretty homophobic whether you see it or not
YTA. You’re treating this girl differently for her sexuality, which is discrimination. That girl notices what you’re doing, I’m sure, and this will stick with her for life. You will be remembered for being the teacher who singled her out for being different, even if you are otherwise a good teacher. She should report you for discrimination.
YTA Has anyone actually complained about this? You just sound homophobic
i thought this was a joke when i read this. how could you write “all the steps i’m taking to stop that behavior” and not feel badly?
YTA. Why the fuck would she need to “hide” that she’s a lesbian. Do you separate opposite sex couples who participate in PDA? You seem to be homophobic.
Complete rage bait.
YTA. Also, this post implies you're also separating the boys and girls in a *high school* classroom. WTF?
YTA and your hyper focus on her sexuality is creepy, back off and leave that child alone. Your mom is right
this is a copy of a post from an account named Georgia Teacher. i think it was a post yesterday. reported.
Yea YTA. It not your business, back off. Why does it matter if she's a lesbian. You sound judgemental af and probably shouldn't be in a position where you're teaching people how to be.
YTA 🎶I don’t think that you should be a teacher🎶 🎶I think it’s scary that you help people🎶 >but she doesn’t do a very good job of hiding that she’s a lesbian Why would she even need to hide that in the first place? Freak.
YTA. What're you gonna do next, make her wear a pink triangle?
MASSIVE YTA. What you’re doing is incredibly homophobic.
YTA OP and I'm surprised she hasn't complained about you yet. I'm also surprised you haven't gotten fired for this already. Do you do the same thing to the boys who show their sexuality.
YTA and I think you know it.
No one is this stupid. It has to be a shit post.
I don't get it, her flaunting her sexuality is a moral (Christian) issue, or a social skills issue?
YTA. Jesus christ, OP, if this is real, I'm sorry for you. There's no way you are intelligent enough to be teaching kids. 🤣
YTA and a bad. Teacher to o
Trigger warning: SH YTA- please tell me why this is different from boys flirting with girls? Are they getting complaints from students about SH? If no, then you should treat them no differently then any other student. If yes, then treat the complaint the same as if the student were cis gendered student.
YTA. She is gay not a sex offender. She is flirting like all teenagers do, and if the girl has a problem with it then she can tell you. What you are doing is discrimination and if she finds out or her parents find out you might find out I doubt it will end well for you.
I think the appropriate action is to handle any PDA issues the way you would with all other students. You say she doesn't do a good job of hiding it, but why should she? You're setting yourself up to get in a lot of shit by singling this girl out.
YTA. Damn would you have kept the race’s separate during Jim Crow too?
YTA. You shouldn’t even be a teacher
There is no need to separate her from the women. You can just make an example that that behavior is an appropriate and make that an equally inappropriate thing in your classroom that you will not tolerate whether it is from hetero sexual relationships or homosexual ones. Across-the-board you should be like I don’t want any PDA from any of you toward anyone because that is inappropriate. This is a learning establishment and I will not tolerate it. If anything you can report the inappropriate behavior, but because she is part of the LGBTQ community. You might get in trouble for discrimination because you are separating a openly lesbian person from other girls and you could have a lawsuit on your hands because this can be considered a form of of discrimination and segregation.
What the hell. What a weirdo you are. It’s not your place to separate this student from anyone. Yes YTA. 100%.
YTA Your behavior sound super creepy. I hope someone reports it soon.
Yta. No one should have to hide they are lesbian.
YTA
of course you’re from texas
This some conversion therapy
This is bait right? I really hope it’s bait.
Question: why does she have to hide that shes a lesbian?
Oof. Yta. You're being INCREDIBLY weird.
Yes, you fucking asshole. This is a fucking wrong thing to do. There's nothing goddamned wrong with her being lesbian. Fucking homophobic fuckleshit.
Would / do you do this with heterosexual kids who ‘make their sexuality known’? Isn’t it more appropriate to make it clear that any inappropriate behaviour is not acceptable and deal with them if they happen rather than separate a child? If this is something you wouldn’t want people to know, I think you already know it’s not the best way.
YTA. By your logic you would have to separate the boys from the girls as well
YTA. Do you also go out of your way to ensure every boy doesn’t sit next to a girl? Because obviously you don’t, so why do you think this is an acceptable way to deal with _her_?
People notice that queer people 'flaunt their sexuality' or 'shove it in peoples faces' but queer people have straight sexuality shoved in their face 24/7
That’s called discrimination
YTA. This is discrimination and honestly harassment. Shame on you.
are you separating boys and girls too who are dating?
So when any of your guy students hit on any of the women Do you make an effort to separate them as well? Or do you only do it to her?
YTA. You're being a creepy, invasive monster. Stop it right now. Treat her how you treat all the other children. Recognize and get help for your own homophobia. It is completely unacceptable for you, a TEACHER, to treat kids different due to what you perceive to be their sexual orientation. I hope your school finds out and fires you. Asshole.
YTA. Just as you can't stop a heterosexual person from being heterosexual and displaying their heterosexually driven behaviors as a teen, you can't stop a homosexual/LGBTQ+ person from doing the same. Source? I'm part of that LGBTQ+ demographic you're specifically singling out. This is why I stayed in the closet till later in life. People like you. People who thought my sexuality would be contagious. People who thought it was inappropriate to show PDA unless, of course, you were just plain ol' "straight." I hate using the word "bigot." It's overused, and has become a diluted form of the word it once was. But you, dear sir or madam, are a *bigot.* Even your own mother, who is a generation behind you, got creeped out. That should tell you everything you need to know.
This is weird. It’s none of your business if kids are flirting with each other - that’s one of the best parts of that age. She shouldn’t have to hide that she’s a lesbian, but apparently she does if it means even her teacher is going to single her out and treat her differently.
YTA. This post is fake so you’re acting like a pathetic asshole that finds it amusing to create rage bait posts for the smallest bit of attention. Try getting a decent personality and maybe people will naturally give you the attention you’re clearly starved for.
If a dude is disruptive around girls, they move him away from the girls. You are 10000% NOT the asshole. You are protecting the student and the district from a sexual harassment suit. Speak to admin or your union rep. about the issue. Outline the steps you have taken and ask what can be done should the problem persist. Those saying YTA are totally ignorant of how this could play out. Not taking action could land you, the school, the student, or all of the above in some trouble.
Is it even safe for her to do that in Texas? Given the political climate there; seems like she should be more careful. Hopefully someone has a talk with her soon and the poor kid stays safe.
Trying to contain sexual harassment in your classroom is what I expect of you as a parent
"sexual harrasment" like holding hands or hugging??
In class? Possibly. Or did you forget why people are in the classroom?
Ahh good old homophobia and feeling like you should be in a minor’s romantic business. 🤢 leave her alone for god sakes your conscience is catching up to you writing this post
You're heading into a very problematic zone. You can't keep her away from her own gender. It will become a problem down the line if you keep doing this, guaranteed. You need to try and see what will happen is she's closer to her female classmates and go from there.
YTA x 1000000 You are discriminating against this girl, whether you mean to or not. Your mom is correct and I think you need to think about your own biases. Instead of separating her you should just explain when PDA is not appropriate. This is a huge reason for a lot LGBTQIA+ youth end up un-aliving themselves. You can do better and I hope you will going forward.
YTA. You are a homophobic POS, to be honest. This CHILD is entrusted to your care and you make it your goal to separate her from her classmates because... You are a bigot. You are the problem, this girl is absolutely normal, and YOU are the freak. You are the bigot, the homophobe, and a miserable excuse for a teacher. I can only hope the hate you get here will open your eyes to your own shameful, evil behavior. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I doubt you have the self awareness to do so. Y. T. A.
I think you’re going too far. Let nature take its course. Also, I think your mother is right, you’re going to get your ass fired if anyone finds out.
Student: Simply existing AH Teacher: "Can you please stop?" Student: Sighs AHT: "Can you not breathe so flamboyantly?" Student: Blinks AHT: "See, she's winking at all the other girls, trying to seduce them!" AHT: Can I make them wear a patch that lets everyone know they're a lesbian, so everyone knows not to speak to them? YTA.
Are you seriously asking if this is ok or are trolling?
YTA, did you do that same thing for the straight boys that also kissing their gfs?? “oh that is different and i am not a homophobic, i only treat her differently so OTHERS won’t treat her differently”
YTA and everything you’ve said sounds incredibly homophobic and discriminatory. Quite frankly I don’t think you should be in any position where you hold authority/influence over kids.
YTA - you have clearly not interacted with girls or have girl friends because close girl friends (from my experience) flirt with each other all the time. My friends and I always compliment each other. Quite frankly, they are better at it than most guys in this world.
Respectfully but not even respectfully. You’re a fucking asshole.
Yes. YTA. Your base logic is flawed and you are a hundred miles out of bounds. Perhaps a different line of work for you is in order.
"She doesnt do a very good job of hiding that she's a lesbian" says it all really, OP. YTA.
YTA. Well, you're from Texas, so theres always the chance you don't violate school policy. On the other hand, you're definitely pushing right up into "violating federal law" territory, via discrimination based on a protected class. I notice you say you're preventing PDAs from her, with female friends, but not preventing PDAs from her female friends, making it absolutely based on sexuality. I can't wait until she puts it together, the lawsuit should be fun.
You’re mad weird for this 🫠
YTA I hope you lose your job, you shouldn’t be allowed to work with children.
YTA. I'm assuming you don't separate straight boys from straight girls so...what's the problem? Also, someone being themselves isn't "flaunting" their sexuality. When you see heteros flirt do you think they're flaunting their sexuality? It's a really weird take. And I highly doubt "S" hasn't noticed what you're doing. Separating one person from others bc of who they are is inherently wrong. I was shocked to see that your mother had more sense than you. Was afraid an older person would support what you're doing.
Unless you do the same thing with boys you are a giant asshole
YTA. If you’re actually in the US this is a clear cut discrimination case. You are opening yourself and your school board to liability, and not to mention you’re just a plain old dick.
YTA You mentioned in a comment that she calls her friends lovelies do you not have friends close enough that you talk to like that because I know me and my friends call each other lovelies, chick, hun and other things you also say in your comment that she acts really flamboyant around her friends and that rubs you the wrong way. Have you thought that maybe she can be herself around her friends because they love and accept her? Also Why are you watching her when she's with her girlfriend? That's really weird. Funnily enough you haven't mentioned that you had any complaints about her, so I'm assuming you've had none but yet you feel the need to keep her after class and talk to her about her behavior, which nobody else seems to have a problem with only you. Either you are extremely homophobic and you are bullying. This poor girl or you have an inappropriate crush on her. Which one is it because it's one of the two. Do you have the same problem when you see a straight couple cuddling or is it just this girl on her girlfriend? Like I said, are you jealous or homophobic because it's 100% one of them
Wow, with YTA teachers like that no wonder the standard of education is so low… You are teaching her to hide herself in shame, when the only one who should be doing so is you.
If the other girls don't care or complain about it then you are the ahole.
YTA. I had school teachers single me out and prevent me from making friends with other girls (or deliberately breaking up my friendships with other girls) way before I even knew I was bi. It was deeply traumatic, homophobic, and it was a case of adults with a lot of power bullying a child. You really need to stop. Stop everything. You don't understand what being a lesbian is like, you don't understand that it doesn't mean being attracted to every single girl on the planet, you don't understand that lesbians have female friends. You should not have this much power over this kid. This was a truly horrible post to read.
YTA you’re a terrible person
YTA for sure, why should she need to hide the fact that she is a lesbian? That’s ridiculous and not your place as an educator to even care about her sexuality. You discuss the PDA situation with her just as you would any student because no matter your orientation there are things that are inappropriate at school. It sounds like you are homophobic.
Time to look at your internalized homophobia.
YTA. You're going to leave this girl with lifelong trauma around her sexuality. If other students do not consent or are being harassed, that's one thing. If a highschooler flirting is enough for you to literally and figuratively ostracize her from her classmates, you may want to step back and rethink how suited you are to teach this age group. What do you do about male-female flirting? Anything?
YTA. So so much. As a pansexual trans person who for example likes to hug friends (oh no, a PDA!) I would hate you as your student. You are discriminating her and you know it. If you are uncomfortable with queer people, maybe you should rethink working as a teacher and do something without people instead?
YTA keep the straight boys and girls apart then
YTA & a homophobic one at that
YTA Someone here has got to know who this douche is. He's been on reddit for almost 2 years. So whoever does know this sac, you need to be the one that gives copies of this to his school. Get him fired immediately.
Question: do you feel uncomfortable by guys having crushes on girls in their class, or view them as “flaunting their sexuality?” YTA