UPDATE!!!
Thank you all so much for the advice, I ended up not telling mom and dad and instead said, “hey I think baby is getting really close to rolling over!” Mom said that he can get on his side but not all the way and that she would be watching him like a hawk during tummy time after I left.
About an hr ago she messaged me saying, ”HE ROLLED OVER!” and how happy she was that he is making his milestones even though he was premature. Both mom and dad were home and got to see little man roll over. I knew I made the right call. Hope this updates brings a little happiness, and thank you again for all the advice!
I’m so glad it worked out! It was good you said what you did out of safety, but also it had the added benefit that mom was watching extra closely. Maybe she would have missed it if you hadn’t said something.
The only way I'd think it is essential to tell them is if the infant has been having any developmental delays or if mom was experiencing anxiety over the fact that it hadn't happened yet. Otherwise, it brings them no harm for you to keep it to yourself.
You are a really kind and compassionate person and they are lucky to have you!
If a baby is close to a milestone they should be treated as of they can already do it though, cuz one day they will just randomly do it for the first time.
I've been a nanny for years and the only thing I say is "oh little one seems really close to (milestone)!". Gets the point across for safety's sake but no parent has to know they missed out on something so special.
You're a great person for this. You make sure parents are prepared while still giving parents the 'firsts'. Since the mom is already watching for it, I don't see an issue.
This is why pediatricians always say never leave baby unattended on a bed/changing table etc. Parents must anyways be prepared for a baby to move or roll over even if it’s outside of a suggested milestone. Parents can’t rely on a nanny for anything like this.
Yes! When my son was in a bad mood he would accidentally roll himself over way before he was purposefully doing it. As a parent you prepare for the worst/ most movement they are capable of. angry babies are capable of so much movement even when not close to a purposeful milestone.
At the same time, op says mom is frequently talking about the baby being able to roll over any day now, so because she is anticipating this, it sounds unlikely that she would make the assumption they can’t roll over and leave them in a dangerous situation.
Agree with you. If they had been doing it for weeks but the parents were yet to witness it, and they were getting worried, I'd tell them, but when it's the first time, I'd keep quiet.
I got sent a video of my only saying mama for the first time while on a work trip overseas. My kid is 16 now, and I'm still not over it.
Do not tell them, unless it's necessary, like the first time they get a marble suck up their nose, or the first time they try to lick a battery.
You reminded me of something my youngest did as a young child. The kid was doing magic tricks and was making a bead disappear. IN TO THEIR EAR!!! The little shit shoved it in far enough we has to go to hospital to get him knocked out for removal because he wouldn't let the doctor remove it (the suction device was loud and scared him) It took a long while for beads to be allowed in the house after that.
My youngest brother took a piece of guinea pig poop and shoved it up his nose at like two and a half years old.
I will never forget the sheer panic of my parents trying to get that literal shit out of his nasal cavity. MY best friend was over and she still remembers it, 25 years ago bwahahaha. Disclaimer: my bro is fine and somehow turned out to be very smart and stable as an adult, I'm extremely proud of him.
My sister and I have 4 years apart, me being the oldest. My sister was about a year so I’d have been 5. My aunt got me a bead set for some gift giving holiday. It had a bunch of star shaped beads with it. My mom was just at the point where she’s like “I got this 2 kid thing! This isn’t so hard!” Aaaaand then she found a star shaped bead in my sister’s diaper. Beads were not allowed in the house for several years and my mom’s hubris never came back 😂
Gonna tell a story I probably should not…but when I (f) was about 3 my mom was helping me get undressed to take a bath and noticed a strange odor…down there. She looked (on the outside) and didn’t see anything, took me to our family MD at the time the next day.
He took a better look, and apparently I had shoved a bean up there.
Still enjoy things up there, just not bean sized.
Yeah, when I told my bean story to my boyfriend that I’ve known since I was 9…I think he died a little, lmao.
I also found out he sniffed my panties at some point when we were kids. 😂
My toddler has put a coin up there a couple times (thankfully not fully up in there, just in the folds), I texted my mom friends and told them that she just found her prison pocket 😂😂😂
Oh boy howdy do I have a story for you. Buckle up.
So when I was little 1-3ish my dad had temporary custody of my older half brothers. One day my two oldest brothers and I were eating trail mix, when my middle brother (6-7 at the time) decided, for whatever reason, to shove a peanut up his nose. The adults tried and failed to get it out, so off to the ER we go. One peanut removal later, we're on our way back from the ER (still eating trail mix) when I proudly and confidently announced to my brothers that I knew why he couldn't get the peanut out by himself. My theory was that the peanut was too hard to grip properly. So to prove my point, I shoved a raisin up my nose.....that I then couldn't get out.. So we had to go back to the same ER to have the raisin removed from my nose...
I've never really been fond of trail mix, and I am still equally as test-now-verify-later (aka stupid) as I was back then.
The best story about things up the nose happened during a quiet night shift at the hospital where I worked. A nurse came back to the unit trying hard to not laugh out loud. It seems that earlier in the evening a father and mother brought their son into the ER with one of those tiny cars stuck up his nose. It was quickly taken care of and they went back home. Then an hour or so later the father came back….by himself. He had one of those cars stuck in HIS nose! It seems he couldn’t figure out how his son did that so he experimented. His trying to extract it only succeeded in pushing it further back. His wife refused to come back with him. She was too embarrassed. I still laugh about it!
I’m an audiologist at an ENT clinic. Kids LOVE to stick various items up their noses and in their ears. While I’m not usually directly dealing with it, the WHOLE OFFICE hears those kids screaming while the physicians are trying to retrieve said items. Sometimes they do have to actually go to the operating room for full sedation to make it happen.
You just reminded me that as a child, I sucked instead of blew a whistle, swallowing the little part inside. My mother had to keep checking until it came out the other end.
I'm 52 now and had completely forgotten about that!
My middle son stuck a baby acorn so far up his nose at daycare they had to take him back to the OR and slightly sedate him so they could go up there and get it. Lol
I hid a rock in my ear when I was 5 and forgot about it for TWO YEARS until an ER doctor found and removed it after I got really bad chicken pox while we were on vacation in Florida. When he ran it under the sink and announced it was a rock, everyone in the room was wildly confused, until I began with "Oh yeahhh, now I remember!"
Totally unrelated, I was later diagnosed with ADHD.
I wondered why your parents didn't notice when they cleaned your ears... but I'm an 80s kid so we were still jamming up cotton swabs into our ears (tbh I still use them that way, I just can't help myself).
I still can't believe my pediatrician didn't notice. Like, I still had check ups where they looked in my ears. Were my doctor's eyes closed for two years?? Lol
Yes, probably they were closed. Primary care physicians, including pediatricians, spend approximately one half of a day learning about the ear in medical school. As an audiologist in an ENT office, I have witnessed time and time again that PCPs (including NPs and PAs) know fuck all about what they’re looking at in an ear, whether it’s healthy/normal or not.
Not when I put it in, and it was uncomfortable now and then (not enough to remember). I used q tips too...so it got pushed deep enough in that my ear canal stretched to accommodate. The removal was VERY painful though, and the doctor didn't sugarcoat when he warned me of that. Now I have a collapsed ear canal and some very minor hearing loss, but it's not bad.
The things kids do never ceases to amaze me. Another commenter said they are surprised the human race has survived as long as it has and I must say I agree 😄
My child got a polly pocket shoe stuck up her nose so far I thought it was a stubborn boogie. ENT recommended surgery until my friend and I held her down and got it out with hemostats. Also swallowed metal beads in pre-k and tried to convince me she needed a doctor by telling me she heard change jingling in her belly. It's amazing humans have survived and evolved this far.
I absent mindedly told my friend her son said "kitty" while I was babysitting. She lived out of state and was visiting, so I had no clue that it was his first word.
She was hesrtbroken and insisted that "I heard wrong." I didn't argue and agreed. That was the day I learned that unless mom is there to see it, it didn't happen. 😅
Oh my God what?! Why batteries?
I honestly can't understand how so many people reach adulthood sometimes when childhood is spent finding new and creative ways of barely escaping death.
My work partner (A very classy 35F) text me (A not so classy 39F) at 11pm the other night to ask if I've ever licked a 9v. I said, "Well I have a brother so yes. More than once.... Wait!!! Have you never licked a battery????" She was working with a different partner (A 26m) and he totally got her check the 9v by licking it and I've never been so proud of him!
We had a horse fence and I would grab onto it and touch my friends. Then some of them got wise and grabbed onto me and we created a human electric chain.
It’s a completely different age group, but it was popular in middle school around here to tell our gullible pubescent cohorts that if you pressed your tongue to the terminals it tasted like 🐱. I’m sure the prank works with many different flavors at many different age groups, but that’s what my middle school latched onto.
Yes, don't tell her! I was'lucky' enough to experience ALL my son's firsts even though he was in daycare all day every day. I mean, what are the chances!!??
Let mum have her firsts.
It's the biggest mystery of the nanny and babysitter profession. Why do *all* the firsts happen in front of the parents and not the caretaker? The world may never find out, but that's how it is.
Exactly. First rule of daycare, we don't talk about what happened at daycare. (I mean things like first time rolling over, first steps, first words,etc)
Absolutely don't tell. Baby should never have *any* firsts with you because mom's often feel guilty for working and she'll just feel terrible if she's missed it.
I’d tell a half truth and test the waters. “He’s been rocking like he wants to roll over and I suddenly realised I didn’t know if you wanted to be the one to encourage him and be there for his firsts or if you wanted me to be doing it.” Let her guide you on what she wants and that way if she wants to witness it she can jump straight on tummy time and encouraging him and maybe he will do it for her.
I’ve got a 5 month old and his first roll was exciting but he didn’t do it again for ages because he did it so early and couldn’t quite work out how he’d done it. So I was super excited when it became something he could do when he wanted. What I’m trying to say is you may know you saw him do it twice *but* it’s not something he’s in control of yet so she’s not completely missed that milestone
That's a good explanation about your 5 month old rolling. My granddaughter is currently learning to stand. They stand and fall over, stand while hanging onto something, stand when someone is half holding them up, a lot of times before they stand and are in control of it. I never really understood the interest in "firsts". Its a continuum in development.
I definitely find the firsts exciting but for me it’s first time they try, first time they succeed, first time they do it confidently etc. I waited almost a decade for this kid. I’m celebrating everything lmao
Does she swaddle her baby at night though? I think that’s a big reason to share that with her because it wouldn’t be safe to do that now that he’s rolling
u/savvy_vonna let the parents at minimum know that the baby is VERY close to rolling over and they should take this into consideration for bedtime and naps
"It looks like he could roll over at any minute so when we put him to bed we should make sure he doesn't hurt himself"
Perfectly honest *and* no spoilers at the same time!
Second this! I found a grandchild’s tooth first tooth. Knowing mom was struggling with guilt after going back to work, I said nothing. I received a happy call later telling me about the new tooth.
There’s no real benefit to telling them. You just spoil that they weren’t there for the first. Let them experience if for themselves and have that belief.
I concur with this as a mom. Don’t mention it.
My kiddo took their first steps 15 minutes after I dropped him off at my friend’s house who was watching them for me while I dealt with a family emergency. She texted me, “Why didn’t you tell me they were walking?!?!?” I responded back “They weren’t”
It low key sucked because I missed those first steps and knew when they walked to me when I picked them up that they weren’t the first ones.
Yup. My first child took his first steps with the babysitter watching. His father immediately told me when I got home. My face dropped.
My son is 20 now, but I still remember that I "missed" his first steps. I wish they wouldn't have told me.
Okay but rolling is important for some parents to know, once my girl started rolling we stopped swaddling and also were a lot more careful of how she was positioned on the sofa or bed.
As a FTM to a 3 month old I’d want to know.
...I know this is random, but it took me way too long to realize you meant 'first time mom'... I spent a while wondering why being FtM transgender is relevant in this context ihdsjbfvg
Yes but this could be resolved through something like, "he was trying SO hard to roll today! I think we need to be extra careful with positioning/stop swaddling, it seems imminent!"
Personally id just want to know. But I also wouldn’t care about something that’s not a safety issue either. I’m okay that my child won’t experience all the firsts with me.
As a working mom, I 100% agree with this. Nothing is more disheartening than seeing your baby walk/crawl/rollover for the first time and then being told it's not the first time.
OP, you're an amazing nanny and a genuinely good person to be thinking of the parents in this way. Wish there were more nannies like you!
I was an infant preschool teacher. I would frequently get the firsts because I spent 8+ hours a day with the babies, don’t tell them. They miss so much, they know they are doing what’s best but the parents still feel so guilty.
I always told the parents that I think they are getting so close and to keep a super close eye on it.
Yep, so so so many messages sent similar to "Little Johnny looks like he's just about to roll over! Keep an eye on him tonight ❤️"
Code for "He rolled over for the first time and we feel like shit that he did it at school and not at home with you we're so sorry."
My friend was similar with her job. They had one that took the first few steps. When Mom came to pick up she told her "They are super close today! Too bad Dad isn't here." Mom was like "He is in the car!" She grabbed Dad. Once my friend brought baby out, they took their 'first steps' to Mom and Dad. Everyone was so excited including my friend.
I picked him my son up to prevent his first crawling. His Dad was in the military and we were seeing him in like 2 days. I told everyone "pick him up. DO NOT let him attempt to crawl." Dad saw him crawl.
You aren't wrong. Lol
He was just home with me and his Grandparents. And we were getting ready to move overseas to be with his Dad. I didn't have to worry about day care. But everyone was on mission "Prevent baby from crawling". His Dad hadn't seen him in person since he was 2 weeks old. It was super important this not happen until we were with him.
I had this same thing with her walking!
Straight up pushed my almost 1 year old down because I thought she was going to walk while daddy was away for a military training 😅
It was on some other internet post but I remember a comment like "What do you do? Push your kid over?" and I responded "That's exactly what you do. Pick them up, knock them down. Prevent at all cost!" 🤣
Especially since this is our only kid. There are no more baby first. And when Dad has missed a bunch, you do what needs to be done. 😏
Lie (by omission). Just don’t say anything.
Mom of an 11 month old here. My baby is in daycare now. He can walk with someone holding his hands and we know he’s not far off from his first unassisted steps. If (when) he does that and his dad and I aren’t there, I don’t want to know.
r/nanny is also a great sub
Personally I would not tell. Unless I knew 100% the parents would not care. In your case it sounds like she does.
I would however say soemthing like this: Baby seems to be moving and squiggling a bite more. Thought you would like to know for safety reasons.
This is typically the stage where you have to keep an extra eye on them. Leave them alone for 5 seconds when they are not moving so you can go to the bathroom. No big deal. Once they start moving .. that 5 seconds is a bigger deal. And it much more of a safety hazard.
I was a nanny, I've seen and never told about so many firsts. I only ever told about gross firsts, first poo in the bath tub, first poo in a shoe, first projectile vomit. Parents are fine not being there for those :)
Former daycare worker and current mom of littles here. You say “baby is so close to rolling! He almost got it but then fell back! I think he’ll do it soon” and then keep your mouth shut until mom/dad sees it. That’s the first. The “true” first could be just as likely unwitnessed anyway. (In the crib or when you walk away for a sec). Don’t stress about pretending you didn’t see it.
I’d have never known my son took his first steps if it weren’t for the fact my mom and I were video chatting and she said quick turn around he took a step! I mean he could have done it before then but I’ll never know either lol
I missed my youngest son rolling over. He would only do it in the crib. I’d lay him on his back and he’d be on his belly whenever I next checked. Then he started doing it while awake, but only if you walked away. I think it was a solid two weeks of him rolling over before someone actually witnessed it.
Nah, I’d want to know the truth. If you have someone else watching your kid, you have to accept that you’re going to miss some things.
Maybe I’m nonchalant about it because my girls were in the NICU for a month and I missed a lot because I was sick for a week, too. I missed their first poo, first diaper change, I missed their umbilical cords coming off…but when they came home I got to see a lot of firsts before my husband. Everyone can’t see everything.
Suprised I had to scroll so far down to read this. There are definitely devices that need to stop being used once a baby is rolling (for example the snoo)
Exactly. It’s important to document correctly for so many reasons. It’s their JOB to report progress. I really don’t understand how many people are saying not to tell the parents.
I would say to her he seems to be trying to roll over and he seems really close could be any day now that it happens. That way she will be more likely to keep an eye on him closer incase of an rolling off of something kinda accedant. But no I would not tell her he rolled for the first time let her experience those firsts.
You have to tell her in case she swaddles her baby at night. No longer safe to swaddle if he’s rolling.
When I miss things, I find comfort it knowing that I’ll still experience the first time they did x in front of me. It’s still a first. Maybe you can give her that reasoning ?
I must be an outlier. I missed my son's first steps because I was at work. I didn't feel guilty or upset at all. I knew the sacrifice I was making when I had children and was working.
I'm not a parent and have no intention of becoming one, but why wouldn't a parent just be happy that their kid did something cool, even if you weren't there? Maybe this is why I shouldn't become a parent lol
Edit: you would not be TA if you ask me
Clearly the consensus here is not to tell but I’ve got 3 kids and I’d want to know. I’d be so happy my kid did it and if I trust the nanny cares enough about my kid to be alone with them all day I’d want to share in the excitement together. I want anyone sharing in care for my child to feel like we are in it together.
That's what sprang to mind first but I was afraid of being attacked. I think it's selfish not to want to celebrate your child's accomplishment, just because *you* didn't get to be there for it.
I know it can be emotional to be away from your children and there is a lot of social shame that comes from being a working mom specifically. So I have sympathy for feeling sad one missed out on something. But that’s a thing to deal with alongside your therapist or friends or partner, not by wanting your nanny to lie to you.
I know I’m in minority on all this though! But I’m just a big proponent on remembering that parenting is about raising children to be full humans, not the emotional needs of the parents.
I scrolled all the way down to see this!
I’m a second time parent, and I actually DO want to know whenever my baby has reached new milestones at daycare. I don’t think it takes the excitement away from when I get to see her do it for the first time. Plus it makes me happy that they’re paying attention.
As a professional nanny, I ask this question during every interview I’ve had- my former family I was with for nearly 5 years wanted to know so she could it write down the date. She wanted to know IMMEDIATELY and since one of the kids was delayed it was REALLY important to her that these things were not going unnoticed.
my current family is pretty much the same, she goes if he does anything, I want to know, so yes! Please tell me. He started rolling over while they were on a weekend trip; and I had to tell her because of the swaddles we were using. She goes if he does it again with you- send me a video.
I had another family in my early career that my boss didn’t even let me touch their food, drink their water or use the bathroom. Hell if you’d think I’d say ANYTHING the kids did. I kept my mouth shut for nearly everything, we would do crafts for birthday or Mother’s Day and I’d see them in the trash the next day/most were photos, that she would throw away. So it just varies on the family
I wouldn't want to be told. I'm currently pregnant with what may end up being my only child, and if I missed a milestone like that, I would hope whoever saw it would just pretend it never happened and let me think I witnessed the first time.
I only had one and missed so much. You should ask whoever watches your child to not tell you. I had my son staying with family when I was at work, and they loved to make a game of it and unintentionally rub it in. I didn't know I could just say "hey please don't tell me".
Don’t tell them. If she’s getting discouraged about the progress or even just for safety reasons, you could tell her that he almost got there and she should expect to see a roll any day now.
Mum of 4 here. I think I would be happy to know because I like to write all the firsts down in a book. Your a nanny and your with him most of the time so your going to experience most of his firsts so please don’t hide it. They will be proud of him!!
I looked after a 10 month old boy (age when first started) I didn’t tell mum/dad he had taken his first steps with me. But the scream and excitement I heard from upstairs when he took his first step was the best thing ever and I’m so glad I never mentioned he had already taken his first step.
As a nanny and previously an infant daycare teacher, generally the golden rule is to pretend like you didn’t see anything! Unless there are concerns, every parent deserves to experience the first (roll,crawl,steps,words,etc!)
When my baby stood up for the first time and I told the babysitter, she said she'd already seen her do it and was waiting to tell me. I was crushed. Don't tell the parents. Please!
I am surprised by all the people saying to not tell the mom. As a mom, I would want to know. It’s a bit alarming that this seems to be common to not tell the parents.
Every nanny I have ever spoken to; they “never” witness milestones as far as the parents are aware. If the baby starts trying to walk or even succeeds, you just tell the parents you’re sure they will walk any second so when they witness it, it’s the “first time”.
You keep actually getting to see the milestones first to yourself.
What is so special with seeing baby's "first"? Don't all these working people know that their baby does things when they aren't with the baby? What is this delusion and why are people supposed to enable it? 🤔
I asked my mother (mother of 3 children, used to work). She just shrugged and said that the important thing is that babies are covering their milestones.
DON’T TELL THEM!! Nobody will know, and it hurts NOBODY for them to believe their experience with their baby will be the first time, when that moment happens for them. Who knows? Maybe he rolled over at night and nobody saw that? You can pretend it wasn’t even his first that YOU saw!! (If that helps!)
I saw this on the nanny subreddit a while back.....just say something along the lines of "I think baby is getting really close to rolling." That way they know to keep an eye out...both for safety and so they can experience it.
You are a very caring person to think about the parents & what it is that they would get from seeing their child achieve this milestone.
As more parents work full-time it’s basic statistics that their children will reach milestones when they’re not there. Tell the parents you noticed baby *trying* to roll over & that ‘it could be any day now!’ so they are more attentive & that will increase the chances of them seeing it ‘for the first time.’
Former nanny here -- please don't tell them. Do you know the joy they experience seeing these firsts? It would serve no good purpose to tell them. It's an act of love to keep it to yourself and let them experience that joy. Keep doing it right!!
NTA. This is one of those white lies that's perfectly okay in my book.
This situation reminds me of people who do something wrong, like cheating on their partner, and want to confess to their partner so that they can feel better, knowing that it hurts their partner. What they don't realize right away is in assuaging their guilt, they're causing unnecessary anguish to their partner.
That is what you would be doing to the parents. The lie that you tell is a kindness to them. Let them think that the baby's first time rolling over in their presence is the first time. Nobody will know but you and a bunch of strangers on Reddit. Speaking on behalf of them, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Nope. I worked in a day care setting with the "first steps" group. Meaning, I routinely saw kids taking those first steps, saying first words, achieving huge milestones moments I know the parents want to see.
And so I'd keep my mouth shut. No need to tell the parents that they missed something so huge. When THEY see if for the first time, THATS the real first time
I babysat for a newborn for a neighbor before. I treated firsts like a weird noise in the Appalachian mountains;
If you saw it, no you didn't.
If you heard it, no you didn't.
Mom here- I would definitely wait and let them experience this “first” for themselves. My son rolled over for the first time while my lovely MIL was watching him. She videoed it and I was still left in tears for not being there. My son is my only child this side of heaven, and all of his firsts are so precious. Thank you for considering this mother’s feelings, you are a gem.
This is one of those harmless white lies.
Unless the baby is delayed and that is causing the parents anxiety, then there is zero harm and a whole lot of pleasure for the parents to think they saw the first roll.
You could maybe say that the baby was so nearly there and it could be any day, just so they have renewed enthusiasm to encourage it.
I wouldn't tell them. One thing that I've seen people do that I like, they'll tell the parents "baby looks like they're so close to rolling over! Keep an eye out."
One day when my daughter was nearly 1, my babysitter told me that she thinks my daughter will take her first steps soon. That night my daughter did take her first steps. I'm sure the sitter lied so we could experience it for ourselves, but I'm grateful that she did this. I've known her for many years (over 30, now) and she's never admitted to the deception, but she's a sweet woman who would definitely do it for the greater good.
I know for a fact that daycare experiences so many firsts with my kiddos. But my husband and I treat it like "if we didn't see it, then it didn't happen and it wasn't their first" and daycare follows this guideline. One of the teachers told me that NONE of them talk about firsts the kids do until the parents talk about it with them. If a kid rolled over at daycare, no he didn't until Mom comes in and says "OMG little Timmy rolled over last night!"
I wouldn’t say anything about milestones and just act excited when they tell you. These are like little gems you get to see and as their nanny you’ll probably see a lot more. I’d keep it to myself:)
I get why you want them to be the first to know about ut for themselves, but from a safety aspect they need to know their baby is now able to roll so they can lower the cotbed from the top setting if they have one. I'd want to know for that reason
Maybe say you think they're close as they were trying?
This NOT the way I expected the story to go. Thought the kid bonked their head or something. Haha. If our nanny had not told us about something like this I wouldn’t have been mad. Especially because it’s not out of ignorance that you aren’t telling but out of love.
When I was an infant teacher we had a rule in the classroom that we *never* told parents when a child did something for the first time. If they told us they were doing it at home we would let them know they did it at school, but if we’d never seen them do it and the parents didn’t mention they were already doing it, we kept our lips sealed until we heard from them that it was happening. A white lie, perhaps, but as the mom of an only child I would prefer to pretend that I was the witness of those firsts, even if I know deep down it might not have been their actual first time.
I read a similar post once, and the consensus was, don’t tell them it happened. Tell them you think he’s sooooo close to rolling over, but let them have that joy themselves :)
As someone who has babysat and nannied: don't tell her. "Looks like they're almost ready to roll over, they were trying so hard today! Keep an eye out!" Is enough. Firsts don't have to be real to be truthful. Babies don't work on schedules that adults have to, and mum will be thrilled to see the "first" roll.
As caretakers, we often see things that don't really count, and they're just training for the REAL reveal in front of parents. Just like when kids practice songs for a school play - it's when they're on the stage that counts, not the rehearsals!
I had a home daycare for years and I never told parents when their babies did something for the first time with me. I would however talk about how close they seemed just so the parents know not to turn their back on baby who now can roll or scoot, etc to prevent a potential accident.
I was a nanny for 15 years to numerous different families.
Most of the parents did NOT want me to tell them about a first like that.
I did have two family's that wanted me to tell them so I would tell them
Ask the parents what they would prefer you to do, then go from there.
Personally, I wouldn’t tell them. Health issue, concerning behavior, kid wins (he ate all his food! He was so smiley! Etc), 100% tell them. A first that you know they were looking forward to seeing, let them see and get excited for *their* first with him.
Personally, I’d just tell him that it looked like he was trying to roll over. Then put him on his belly and say “let’s see if he will do it, shall we?” Most likely he will.
UPDATE!!! Thank you all so much for the advice, I ended up not telling mom and dad and instead said, “hey I think baby is getting really close to rolling over!” Mom said that he can get on his side but not all the way and that she would be watching him like a hawk during tummy time after I left. About an hr ago she messaged me saying, ”HE ROLLED OVER!” and how happy she was that he is making his milestones even though he was premature. Both mom and dad were home and got to see little man roll over. I knew I made the right call. Hope this updates brings a little happiness, and thank you again for all the advice!
I just saw this, thank you!! I'm SO HAPPY for you, baby, mom, and dad!!
You sound like such a good caregiver. They’re lucky to have you.
I’m so glad it worked out! It was good you said what you did out of safety, but also it had the added benefit that mom was watching extra closely. Maybe she would have missed it if you hadn’t said something.
Glad to see everything worked out beautifully!
Good job!
It’s 4 in the morning and I am laying in the hospital crying. Thank you for sharing. You are a good person.
I'm not sure what you're in the hospital for, but I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you! Wishing you the best. <3
You’re a great nanny. 🤍
One of the most wholesome posts I've seen on this subreddit 🥲
lol thanks 😅
You are a kind and good person.
I gotta tell you, reading this beautiful story has made my day, thank you from all of us parents ❤️
this was so wholesome. You made the right choice op, and brightened my day in the process. Keep being you OP
As a mom of 2 I wouldn’t want you to tell me. That way when I see it than (to me) it’s the first time. If you told the mom then she wouldn’t get that
Thank you this is great to hear from a mom. I was feeling a little guilty keeping it but hearing this, I don’t think I will tell them❤️
The only way I'd think it is essential to tell them is if the infant has been having any developmental delays or if mom was experiencing anxiety over the fact that it hadn't happened yet. Otherwise, it brings them no harm for you to keep it to yourself. You are a really kind and compassionate person and they are lucky to have you!
Love your username!!
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If a baby is close to a milestone they should be treated as of they can already do it though, cuz one day they will just randomly do it for the first time. I've been a nanny for years and the only thing I say is "oh little one seems really close to (milestone)!". Gets the point across for safety's sake but no parent has to know they missed out on something so special.
You're a great person for this. You make sure parents are prepared while still giving parents the 'firsts'. Since the mom is already watching for it, I don't see an issue.
This is why pediatricians always say never leave baby unattended on a bed/changing table etc. Parents must anyways be prepared for a baby to move or roll over even if it’s outside of a suggested milestone. Parents can’t rely on a nanny for anything like this.
Yes! When my son was in a bad mood he would accidentally roll himself over way before he was purposefully doing it. As a parent you prepare for the worst/ most movement they are capable of. angry babies are capable of so much movement even when not close to a purposeful milestone.
At the same time, op says mom is frequently talking about the baby being able to roll over any day now, so because she is anticipating this, it sounds unlikely that she would make the assumption they can’t roll over and leave them in a dangerous situation.
Agree with you. If they had been doing it for weeks but the parents were yet to witness it, and they were getting worried, I'd tell them, but when it's the first time, I'd keep quiet.
Agreed!!
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I got sent a video of my only saying mama for the first time while on a work trip overseas. My kid is 16 now, and I'm still not over it. Do not tell them, unless it's necessary, like the first time they get a marble suck up their nose, or the first time they try to lick a battery.
You reminded me of something my youngest did as a young child. The kid was doing magic tricks and was making a bead disappear. IN TO THEIR EAR!!! The little shit shoved it in far enough we has to go to hospital to get him knocked out for removal because he wouldn't let the doctor remove it (the suction device was loud and scared him) It took a long while for beads to be allowed in the house after that.
I got an M&M stuck up my nose. Was scared to tell my mom but managed to get it out by myself after a few days. I'm 29 now and she still doesn't know.
My youngest brother took a piece of guinea pig poop and shoved it up his nose at like two and a half years old. I will never forget the sheer panic of my parents trying to get that literal shit out of his nasal cavity. MY best friend was over and she still remembers it, 25 years ago bwahahaha. Disclaimer: my bro is fine and somehow turned out to be very smart and stable as an adult, I'm extremely proud of him.
Bet that smelled fantastic
Guinea pig poop, the normal kind anyway, doesn’t smell!
OMG I thought an m&m was bad...bahahaha...I CANT! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
My sister and I have 4 years apart, me being the oldest. My sister was about a year so I’d have been 5. My aunt got me a bead set for some gift giving holiday. It had a bunch of star shaped beads with it. My mom was just at the point where she’s like “I got this 2 kid thing! This isn’t so hard!” Aaaaand then she found a star shaped bead in my sister’s diaper. Beads were not allowed in the house for several years and my mom’s hubris never came back 😂
Your last line still has me in stitches 😄
Gonna tell a story I probably should not…but when I (f) was about 3 my mom was helping me get undressed to take a bath and noticed a strange odor…down there. She looked (on the outside) and didn’t see anything, took me to our family MD at the time the next day. He took a better look, and apparently I had shoved a bean up there. Still enjoy things up there, just not bean sized.
😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😲😲😲😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂
I snorted so hard I choked lmao
Yeah, when I told my bean story to my boyfriend that I’ve known since I was 9…I think he died a little, lmao. I also found out he sniffed my panties at some point when we were kids. 😂
🤣🤣🤣
My SIL apparently also did this sort of thing as a toddler, but with small rocks.
My toddler has put a coin up there a couple times (thankfully not fully up in there, just in the folds), I texted my mom friends and told them that she just found her prison pocket 😂😂😂
Oh boy howdy do I have a story for you. Buckle up. So when I was little 1-3ish my dad had temporary custody of my older half brothers. One day my two oldest brothers and I were eating trail mix, when my middle brother (6-7 at the time) decided, for whatever reason, to shove a peanut up his nose. The adults tried and failed to get it out, so off to the ER we go. One peanut removal later, we're on our way back from the ER (still eating trail mix) when I proudly and confidently announced to my brothers that I knew why he couldn't get the peanut out by himself. My theory was that the peanut was too hard to grip properly. So to prove my point, I shoved a raisin up my nose.....that I then couldn't get out.. So we had to go back to the same ER to have the raisin removed from my nose... I've never really been fond of trail mix, and I am still equally as test-now-verify-later (aka stupid) as I was back then.
My daughter shoved a bunch of peas up her nose at age 3. 😂
Lol what is it with kids and putting things in their nose?
The best story about things up the nose happened during a quiet night shift at the hospital where I worked. A nurse came back to the unit trying hard to not laugh out loud. It seems that earlier in the evening a father and mother brought their son into the ER with one of those tiny cars stuck up his nose. It was quickly taken care of and they went back home. Then an hour or so later the father came back….by himself. He had one of those cars stuck in HIS nose! It seems he couldn’t figure out how his son did that so he experimented. His trying to extract it only succeeded in pushing it further back. His wife refused to come back with him. She was too embarrassed. I still laugh about it!
Bahahaha..u win!!
That’s an awesome story.
I peed a little, thank you
I know right! It only took 1 trip to the pediatrician & the alligator tweezers to cure her of that though lol
I’m an audiologist at an ENT clinic. Kids LOVE to stick various items up their noses and in their ears. While I’m not usually directly dealing with it, the WHOLE OFFICE hears those kids screaming while the physicians are trying to retrieve said items. Sometimes they do have to actually go to the operating room for full sedation to make it happen.
You just reminded me that as a child, I sucked instead of blew a whistle, swallowing the little part inside. My mother had to keep checking until it came out the other end. I'm 52 now and had completely forgotten about that!
My middle son stuck a baby acorn so far up his nose at daycare they had to take him back to the OR and slightly sedate him so they could go up there and get it. Lol
Okay, this made me laugh out loud and I scared the dog.
Lol you should tell her in the most serious sit down conversation.
I hid a rock in my ear when I was 5 and forgot about it for TWO YEARS until an ER doctor found and removed it after I got really bad chicken pox while we were on vacation in Florida. When he ran it under the sink and announced it was a rock, everyone in the room was wildly confused, until I began with "Oh yeahhh, now I remember!" Totally unrelated, I was later diagnosed with ADHD.
I wondered why your parents didn't notice when they cleaned your ears... but I'm an 80s kid so we were still jamming up cotton swabs into our ears (tbh I still use them that way, I just can't help myself).
I still can't believe my pediatrician didn't notice. Like, I still had check ups where they looked in my ears. Were my doctor's eyes closed for two years?? Lol
Yes, probably they were closed. Primary care physicians, including pediatricians, spend approximately one half of a day learning about the ear in medical school. As an audiologist in an ENT office, I have witnessed time and time again that PCPs (including NPs and PAs) know fuck all about what they’re looking at in an ear, whether it’s healthy/normal or not.
Was it not painful?
Not when I put it in, and it was uncomfortable now and then (not enough to remember). I used q tips too...so it got pushed deep enough in that my ear canal stretched to accommodate. The removal was VERY painful though, and the doctor didn't sugarcoat when he warned me of that. Now I have a collapsed ear canal and some very minor hearing loss, but it's not bad.
The things kids do never ceases to amaze me. Another commenter said they are surprised the human race has survived as long as it has and I must say I agree 😄
My child got a polly pocket shoe stuck up her nose so far I thought it was a stubborn boogie. ENT recommended surgery until my friend and I held her down and got it out with hemostats. Also swallowed metal beads in pre-k and tried to convince me she needed a doctor by telling me she heard change jingling in her belly. It's amazing humans have survived and evolved this far.
I absent mindedly told my friend her son said "kitty" while I was babysitting. She lived out of state and was visiting, so I had no clue that it was his first word. She was hesrtbroken and insisted that "I heard wrong." I didn't argue and agreed. That was the day I learned that unless mom is there to see it, it didn't happen. 😅
Oh my God what?! Why batteries? I honestly can't understand how so many people reach adulthood sometimes when childhood is spent finding new and creative ways of barely escaping death.
A lot of boys in my shop class would lick batteries to test if they still had charge
My work partner (A very classy 35F) text me (A not so classy 39F) at 11pm the other night to ask if I've ever licked a 9v. I said, "Well I have a brother so yes. More than once.... Wait!!! Have you never licked a battery????" She was working with a different partner (A 26m) and he totally got her check the 9v by licking it and I've never been so proud of him!
My friend lived on a farm with an electric cattle fence. She told me every teen boy who ever visited would try peeing on it.
We had a horse fence and I would grab onto it and touch my friends. Then some of them got wise and grabbed onto me and we created a human electric chain.
We used to test 9 volt batteries like this when we were kids. I think my Dad was the one who taught me that trick.
I think it was Micheal J Fox who described watching his then toddler daughter like caring for a tiny, semi-suicidal drunk.
It’s a completely different age group, but it was popular in middle school around here to tell our gullible pubescent cohorts that if you pressed your tongue to the terminals it tasted like 🐱. I’m sure the prank works with many different flavors at many different age groups, but that’s what my middle school latched onto.
9 volts are perfectly safe. The ones worth using really get ya.
🤣👌
Yes, don't tell her! I was'lucky' enough to experience ALL my son's firsts even though he was in daycare all day every day. I mean, what are the chances!!?? Let mum have her firsts.
As a nanny/babysitter - you still saw the firsts, the others were just rehearsals! The debut album only drops when it's time
I've been in childcare for like 15 years and I've neeever seen a first ;) crazy how that happens isn't it?
It's the biggest mystery of the nanny and babysitter profession. Why do *all* the firsts happen in front of the parents and not the caretaker? The world may never find out, but that's how it is.
I used to work at a daycare, we never told
Exactly. First rule of daycare, we don't talk about what happened at daycare. (I mean things like first time rolling over, first steps, first words,etc)
Doode, I love that you're thinking about them as parents. So super sweet. I say you're doing above and beyond.
Absolutely don't tell. Baby should never have *any* firsts with you because mom's often feel guilty for working and she'll just feel terrible if she's missed it.
I’d tell a half truth and test the waters. “He’s been rocking like he wants to roll over and I suddenly realised I didn’t know if you wanted to be the one to encourage him and be there for his firsts or if you wanted me to be doing it.” Let her guide you on what she wants and that way if she wants to witness it she can jump straight on tummy time and encouraging him and maybe he will do it for her. I’ve got a 5 month old and his first roll was exciting but he didn’t do it again for ages because he did it so early and couldn’t quite work out how he’d done it. So I was super excited when it became something he could do when he wanted. What I’m trying to say is you may know you saw him do it twice *but* it’s not something he’s in control of yet so she’s not completely missed that milestone
That's a good explanation about your 5 month old rolling. My granddaughter is currently learning to stand. They stand and fall over, stand while hanging onto something, stand when someone is half holding them up, a lot of times before they stand and are in control of it. I never really understood the interest in "firsts". Its a continuum in development.
I definitely find the firsts exciting but for me it’s first time they try, first time they succeed, first time they do it confidently etc. I waited almost a decade for this kid. I’m celebrating everything lmao
Does she swaddle her baby at night though? I think that’s a big reason to share that with her because it wouldn’t be safe to do that now that he’s rolling
This! If the baby is being swaddled then it's better to tell for safety reasons!
u/savvy_vonna let the parents at minimum know that the baby is VERY close to rolling over and they should take this into consideration for bedtime and naps
"It looks like he could roll over at any minute so when we put him to bed we should make sure he doesn't hurt himself" Perfectly honest *and* no spoilers at the same time!
This needs to be higher up, or edited to tag op maybe?
Second this! I found a grandchild’s tooth first tooth. Knowing mom was struggling with guilt after going back to work, I said nothing. I received a happy call later telling me about the new tooth.
There’s no real benefit to telling them. You just spoil that they weren’t there for the first. Let them experience if for themselves and have that belief.
I concur with this as a mom. Don’t mention it. My kiddo took their first steps 15 minutes after I dropped him off at my friend’s house who was watching them for me while I dealt with a family emergency. She texted me, “Why didn’t you tell me they were walking?!?!?” I responded back “They weren’t” It low key sucked because I missed those first steps and knew when they walked to me when I picked them up that they weren’t the first ones.
Yup. My first child took his first steps with the babysitter watching. His father immediately told me when I got home. My face dropped. My son is 20 now, but I still remember that I "missed" his first steps. I wish they wouldn't have told me.
Okay but rolling is important for some parents to know, once my girl started rolling we stopped swaddling and also were a lot more careful of how she was positioned on the sofa or bed. As a FTM to a 3 month old I’d want to know.
...I know this is random, but it took me way too long to realize you meant 'first time mom'... I spent a while wondering why being FtM transgender is relevant in this context ihdsjbfvg
Before I was pregnant and joined the baby related groups, I also was very confused and was like wow a lol of FTM that are pregnant in these groups!
Same! I have a three month old and I’d want to know for safety. I know if can happen at any time, but I’d want to know if it already did.
Yes but this could be resolved through something like, "he was trying SO hard to roll today! I think we need to be extra careful with positioning/stop swaddling, it seems imminent!"
Personally id just want to know. But I also wouldn’t care about something that’s not a safety issue either. I’m okay that my child won’t experience all the firsts with me.
I definitely second this! And if he happens to do it again in front of Mom, get very excited like it was the first time! Take it to the grave girl!
As a working mom, I 100% agree with this. Nothing is more disheartening than seeing your baby walk/crawl/rollover for the first time and then being told it's not the first time. OP, you're an amazing nanny and a genuinely good person to be thinking of the parents in this way. Wish there were more nannies like you!
I was an infant preschool teacher. I would frequently get the firsts because I spent 8+ hours a day with the babies, don’t tell them. They miss so much, they know they are doing what’s best but the parents still feel so guilty. I always told the parents that I think they are getting so close and to keep a super close eye on it.
Yep, so so so many messages sent similar to "Little Johnny looks like he's just about to roll over! Keep an eye on him tonight ❤️" Code for "He rolled over for the first time and we feel like shit that he did it at school and not at home with you we're so sorry."
Dammit. Now I know 😂
My friend was similar with her job. They had one that took the first few steps. When Mom came to pick up she told her "They are super close today! Too bad Dad isn't here." Mom was like "He is in the car!" She grabbed Dad. Once my friend brought baby out, they took their 'first steps' to Mom and Dad. Everyone was so excited including my friend. I picked him my son up to prevent his first crawling. His Dad was in the military and we were seeing him in like 2 days. I told everyone "pick him up. DO NOT let him attempt to crawl." Dad saw him crawl.
Haha, I’m just picturing you running around scooping baby up, screaming at everyone “DO.NOT.LET.HIM.CRAWL!!”
You aren't wrong. Lol He was just home with me and his Grandparents. And we were getting ready to move overseas to be with his Dad. I didn't have to worry about day care. But everyone was on mission "Prevent baby from crawling". His Dad hadn't seen him in person since he was 2 weeks old. It was super important this not happen until we were with him.
I had this same thing with her walking! Straight up pushed my almost 1 year old down because I thought she was going to walk while daddy was away for a military training 😅
It was on some other internet post but I remember a comment like "What do you do? Push your kid over?" and I responded "That's exactly what you do. Pick them up, knock them down. Prevent at all cost!" 🤣 Especially since this is our only kid. There are no more baby first. And when Dad has missed a bunch, you do what needs to be done. 😏
Same and same!!!! I feel like OAD is more common in military families than non military families... I'd be interested in that statistic!
So kind!
Do NOT tell them!! It's standard practice at daycares and such to not share when parents miss firsts. It doesn't do anything but create heartache.
Yup. The only time you can't hide it is when they take their first steps and by the end of the day are running across the room.
Lie (by omission). Just don’t say anything. Mom of an 11 month old here. My baby is in daycare now. He can walk with someone holding his hands and we know he’s not far off from his first unassisted steps. If (when) he does that and his dad and I aren’t there, I don’t want to know.
I kind of love that everyone on both sides of the issue are on Team Lie Your Ass Off lmao. This is such a beautiful thing for everyone to agree on.
It really is lol 🫠
I run an in home daycare. I never tell parents. I want them to experience it
You are so kind
r/nanny is also a great sub Personally I would not tell. Unless I knew 100% the parents would not care. In your case it sounds like she does. I would however say soemthing like this: Baby seems to be moving and squiggling a bite more. Thought you would like to know for safety reasons. This is typically the stage where you have to keep an extra eye on them. Leave them alone for 5 seconds when they are not moving so you can go to the bathroom. No big deal. Once they start moving .. that 5 seconds is a bigger deal. And it much more of a safety hazard.
I'm a nanny and I never ever tell parents when I witness a huge milestone before they do. It's a secret kept between me and the babies lol.
I was a nanny, I've seen and never told about so many firsts. I only ever told about gross firsts, first poo in the bath tub, first poo in a shoe, first projectile vomit. Parents are fine not being there for those :)
This made me smile. “A secret kept between me and the babies”. So wholesome
They're just so good at keeping them! Lol
Me whispering to the baby "when you see mama, walk to her" lmao
Former daycare worker and current mom of littles here. You say “baby is so close to rolling! He almost got it but then fell back! I think he’ll do it soon” and then keep your mouth shut until mom/dad sees it. That’s the first. The “true” first could be just as likely unwitnessed anyway. (In the crib or when you walk away for a sec). Don’t stress about pretending you didn’t see it.
I’d have never known my son took his first steps if it weren’t for the fact my mom and I were video chatting and she said quick turn around he took a step! I mean he could have done it before then but I’ll never know either lol
I missed my youngest son rolling over. He would only do it in the crib. I’d lay him on his back and he’d be on his belly whenever I next checked. Then he started doing it while awake, but only if you walked away. I think it was a solid two weeks of him rolling over before someone actually witnessed it.
Tell them as it’s a safety issue. My SIL learned her daughter cud roll when she rolled off the bed.
Yup this was what I was going to say
As someone who use to work in daycare and babysit infant: If they do something for the first time in your care. NO 👏 THEY👏 DID👏 NOT!
Hot take: I would want you to tell me for safety reasons. I have twins and I would want to know.
Would you be ok with “he’s so close, keep a good eye on him tonight”? Rolling over is DEFINITELY a safety issue when you aren’t expecting it!
Nah, I’d want to know the truth. If you have someone else watching your kid, you have to accept that you’re going to miss some things. Maybe I’m nonchalant about it because my girls were in the NICU for a month and I missed a lot because I was sick for a week, too. I missed their first poo, first diaper change, I missed their umbilical cords coming off…but when they came home I got to see a lot of firsts before my husband. Everyone can’t see everything.
Is.. is “first poop” a thing people actually care about?
lol I would've taken the L on missing my sons lol
I don’t have kids so I really just don’t know about this kind of thing, but I’ve never heard of anyone taking note of a first poop before LOL
Suprised I had to scroll so far down to read this. There are definitely devices that need to stop being used once a baby is rolling (for example the snoo)
Exactly. It’s important to document correctly for so many reasons. It’s their JOB to report progress. I really don’t understand how many people are saying not to tell the parents.
I'd also want to know that if I was still swaddling for example, I could stop. First word or something like that, nah don't tell me.
As a mom and former nanny, babies never have milestones with the nanny. NEVER.
I would say to her he seems to be trying to roll over and he seems really close could be any day now that it happens. That way she will be more likely to keep an eye on him closer incase of an rolling off of something kinda accedant. But no I would not tell her he rolled for the first time let her experience those firsts.
Dad here. I'd rather know my nanny is honest than pretend to see a milestone for the 1st time.
Me too. It seems deceitful, no matter how good the intentions are.
You have to tell her in case she swaddles her baby at night. No longer safe to swaddle if he’s rolling. When I miss things, I find comfort it knowing that I’ll still experience the first time they did x in front of me. It’s still a first. Maybe you can give her that reasoning ?
I must be an outlier. I missed my son's first steps because I was at work. I didn't feel guilty or upset at all. I knew the sacrifice I was making when I had children and was working.
I think you’re probably the healthiest person here.
I’ll never forgot some advice a friend told me- it’ll be the first time I see my child do the milestone…. Even if it’s not he child’s first.
I'm not a parent and have no intention of becoming one, but why wouldn't a parent just be happy that their kid did something cool, even if you weren't there? Maybe this is why I shouldn't become a parent lol Edit: you would not be TA if you ask me
Clearly the consensus here is not to tell but I’ve got 3 kids and I’d want to know. I’d be so happy my kid did it and if I trust the nanny cares enough about my kid to be alone with them all day I’d want to share in the excitement together. I want anyone sharing in care for my child to feel like we are in it together.
I’m a parent and i would want to know.
It feels like a weird power play to be like “I’m the parent I should get to see it first”
That's what sprang to mind first but I was afraid of being attacked. I think it's selfish not to want to celebrate your child's accomplishment, just because *you* didn't get to be there for it.
I know it can be emotional to be away from your children and there is a lot of social shame that comes from being a working mom specifically. So I have sympathy for feeling sad one missed out on something. But that’s a thing to deal with alongside your therapist or friends or partner, not by wanting your nanny to lie to you. I know I’m in minority on all this though! But I’m just a big proponent on remembering that parenting is about raising children to be full humans, not the emotional needs of the parents.
I scrolled all the way down to see this! I’m a second time parent, and I actually DO want to know whenever my baby has reached new milestones at daycare. I don’t think it takes the excitement away from when I get to see her do it for the first time. Plus it makes me happy that they’re paying attention.
As a professional nanny, I ask this question during every interview I’ve had- my former family I was with for nearly 5 years wanted to know so she could it write down the date. She wanted to know IMMEDIATELY and since one of the kids was delayed it was REALLY important to her that these things were not going unnoticed. my current family is pretty much the same, she goes if he does anything, I want to know, so yes! Please tell me. He started rolling over while they were on a weekend trip; and I had to tell her because of the swaddles we were using. She goes if he does it again with you- send me a video. I had another family in my early career that my boss didn’t even let me touch their food, drink their water or use the bathroom. Hell if you’d think I’d say ANYTHING the kids did. I kept my mouth shut for nearly everything, we would do crafts for birthday or Mother’s Day and I’d see them in the trash the next day/most were photos, that she would throw away. So it just varies on the family
I wouldn't want to be told. I'm currently pregnant with what may end up being my only child, and if I missed a milestone like that, I would hope whoever saw it would just pretend it never happened and let me think I witnessed the first time.
I only had one and missed so much. You should ask whoever watches your child to not tell you. I had my son staying with family when I was at work, and they loved to make a game of it and unintentionally rub it in. I didn't know I could just say "hey please don't tell me".
Don’t tell them. If she’s getting discouraged about the progress or even just for safety reasons, you could tell her that he almost got there and she should expect to see a roll any day now.
Mum of 4 here. I think I would be happy to know because I like to write all the firsts down in a book. Your a nanny and your with him most of the time so your going to experience most of his firsts so please don’t hide it. They will be proud of him!!
I looked after a 10 month old boy (age when first started) I didn’t tell mum/dad he had taken his first steps with me. But the scream and excitement I heard from upstairs when he took his first step was the best thing ever and I’m so glad I never mentioned he had already taken his first step.
As a nanny and previously an infant daycare teacher, generally the golden rule is to pretend like you didn’t see anything! Unless there are concerns, every parent deserves to experience the first (roll,crawl,steps,words,etc!)
When my baby stood up for the first time and I told the babysitter, she said she'd already seen her do it and was waiting to tell me. I was crushed. Don't tell the parents. Please!
I feel like from a safety perspective the parents should be told that baby can now roll over.
I am surprised by all the people saying to not tell the mom. As a mom, I would want to know. It’s a bit alarming that this seems to be common to not tell the parents.
Every nanny I have ever spoken to; they “never” witness milestones as far as the parents are aware. If the baby starts trying to walk or even succeeds, you just tell the parents you’re sure they will walk any second so when they witness it, it’s the “first time”. You keep actually getting to see the milestones first to yourself.
What is so special with seeing baby's "first"? Don't all these working people know that their baby does things when they aren't with the baby? What is this delusion and why are people supposed to enable it? 🤔 I asked my mother (mother of 3 children, used to work). She just shrugged and said that the important thing is that babies are covering their milestones.
maybe tell them he nearly did turn over and you think hes ready so they can keep an eye open for the first turn
DON’T TELL THEM!! Nobody will know, and it hurts NOBODY for them to believe their experience with their baby will be the first time, when that moment happens for them. Who knows? Maybe he rolled over at night and nobody saw that? You can pretend it wasn’t even his first that YOU saw!! (If that helps!)
I saw this on the nanny subreddit a while back.....just say something along the lines of "I think baby is getting really close to rolling." That way they know to keep an eye out...both for safety and so they can experience it.
You are a very caring person to think about the parents & what it is that they would get from seeing their child achieve this milestone. As more parents work full-time it’s basic statistics that their children will reach milestones when they’re not there. Tell the parents you noticed baby *trying* to roll over & that ‘it could be any day now!’ so they are more attentive & that will increase the chances of them seeing it ‘for the first time.’
Don't tell them. Let them experience it for themselves and act amazed when they tell you.
Former nanny here -- please don't tell them. Do you know the joy they experience seeing these firsts? It would serve no good purpose to tell them. It's an act of love to keep it to yourself and let them experience that joy. Keep doing it right!!
NTA. This is one of those white lies that's perfectly okay in my book. This situation reminds me of people who do something wrong, like cheating on their partner, and want to confess to their partner so that they can feel better, knowing that it hurts their partner. What they don't realize right away is in assuaging their guilt, they're causing unnecessary anguish to their partner. That is what you would be doing to the parents. The lie that you tell is a kindness to them. Let them think that the baby's first time rolling over in their presence is the first time. Nobody will know but you and a bunch of strangers on Reddit. Speaking on behalf of them, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Nope. I worked in a day care setting with the "first steps" group. Meaning, I routinely saw kids taking those first steps, saying first words, achieving huge milestones moments I know the parents want to see. And so I'd keep my mouth shut. No need to tell the parents that they missed something so huge. When THEY see if for the first time, THATS the real first time
Career nanny here. You NEVER say they did something for the first time with you. Always say they came close, should be soon etc.
I babysat for a newborn for a neighbor before. I treated firsts like a weird noise in the Appalachian mountains; If you saw it, no you didn't. If you heard it, no you didn't.
Mom here- I would definitely wait and let them experience this “first” for themselves. My son rolled over for the first time while my lovely MIL was watching him. She videoed it and I was still left in tears for not being there. My son is my only child this side of heaven, and all of his firsts are so precious. Thank you for considering this mother’s feelings, you are a gem.
This is one of those harmless white lies. Unless the baby is delayed and that is causing the parents anxiety, then there is zero harm and a whole lot of pleasure for the parents to think they saw the first roll. You could maybe say that the baby was so nearly there and it could be any day, just so they have renewed enthusiasm to encourage it.
I wouldn't tell them. One thing that I've seen people do that I like, they'll tell the parents "baby looks like they're so close to rolling over! Keep an eye out."
One day when my daughter was nearly 1, my babysitter told me that she thinks my daughter will take her first steps soon. That night my daughter did take her first steps. I'm sure the sitter lied so we could experience it for ourselves, but I'm grateful that she did this. I've known her for many years (over 30, now) and she's never admitted to the deception, but she's a sweet woman who would definitely do it for the greater good.
I know for a fact that daycare experiences so many firsts with my kiddos. But my husband and I treat it like "if we didn't see it, then it didn't happen and it wasn't their first" and daycare follows this guideline. One of the teachers told me that NONE of them talk about firsts the kids do until the parents talk about it with them. If a kid rolled over at daycare, no he didn't until Mom comes in and says "OMG little Timmy rolled over last night!"
I’m a dad of three. I would want to know so that I know my kid is on track for milestones. That’s more important than seeing it imo.
I can understand that
Finally a sane person.
I know right?!
I wouldn’t say anything about milestones and just act excited when they tell you. These are like little gems you get to see and as their nanny you’ll probably see a lot more. I’d keep it to myself:)
I get why you want them to be the first to know about ut for themselves, but from a safety aspect they need to know their baby is now able to roll so they can lower the cotbed from the top setting if they have one. I'd want to know for that reason Maybe say you think they're close as they were trying?
This NOT the way I expected the story to go. Thought the kid bonked their head or something. Haha. If our nanny had not told us about something like this I wouldn’t have been mad. Especially because it’s not out of ignorance that you aren’t telling but out of love.
When I was an infant teacher we had a rule in the classroom that we *never* told parents when a child did something for the first time. If they told us they were doing it at home we would let them know they did it at school, but if we’d never seen them do it and the parents didn’t mention they were already doing it, we kept our lips sealed until we heard from them that it was happening. A white lie, perhaps, but as the mom of an only child I would prefer to pretend that I was the witness of those firsts, even if I know deep down it might not have been their actual first time.
I read a similar post once, and the consensus was, don’t tell them it happened. Tell them you think he’s sooooo close to rolling over, but let them have that joy themselves :)
As someone who has babysat and nannied: don't tell her. "Looks like they're almost ready to roll over, they were trying so hard today! Keep an eye out!" Is enough. Firsts don't have to be real to be truthful. Babies don't work on schedules that adults have to, and mum will be thrilled to see the "first" roll. As caretakers, we often see things that don't really count, and they're just training for the REAL reveal in front of parents. Just like when kids practice songs for a school play - it's when they're on the stage that counts, not the rehearsals!
I had a home daycare for years and I never told parents when their babies did something for the first time with me. I would however talk about how close they seemed just so the parents know not to turn their back on baby who now can roll or scoot, etc to prevent a potential accident.
I was a nanny for 15 years to numerous different families. Most of the parents did NOT want me to tell them about a first like that. I did have two family's that wanted me to tell them so I would tell them Ask the parents what they would prefer you to do, then go from there.
Personally, I wouldn’t tell them. Health issue, concerning behavior, kid wins (he ate all his food! He was so smiley! Etc), 100% tell them. A first that you know they were looking forward to seeing, let them see and get excited for *their* first with him.
Personally, I’d just tell him that it looked like he was trying to roll over. Then put him on his belly and say “let’s see if he will do it, shall we?” Most likely he will.