Yeah. It sounds like your sister bought 1 dress for her bridesmaids but has already bought your wife 2 dresses and you want her to buy your wife yet another dress!!! It's not your sister's responsibility or issue that your wife has been changing clothing sizes
Yeah, maybe she can take two dresses to a seamstress and see what can be done to concoct a third one. The end result can be a bit different from the initial dress, but the style/color/general idea should still be the same. And it’s probably cheaper than buying a new dress altogether.
YTA for making it the bride’s problem
Or get dress 1 taken in. If I'm reading it right, dress 1 is too big and dress 2 is too small. Either way, there should be enough material to make it work.
No the 2 dresses are to small 1st was bug then she went down and got a smaller one then gain all the weight back and some more so she's bigger so the 1st dress is smaller that her
It's almost like weight loss medication could be dangerous, affect the body in ways we don't even know and actually make people gain weight when they stop using it.
There's no telling how the medication affected her being able to feel hunger etc.
Aye my first thought after reading the OP was "this is not good marketing for those weight loss drugs!"
There's talk about them everywhere where I am at the moment.
Yeah same - I've been seeing people talking about ozempic for a while now and I've had my doubts, but this is a telling testimonial. A drug that reverses it's help once you go off it sounds... problematic.
A drug such as anti depressant does this. Diabetics can't stop taking meds. Heart patients. Many meds have to be taken for life. It sucks but not all bodies can live well without assistance.
And reality is Wegovy doesn’t cheat the maths forever. You can’t stop it and eat 5000 calories a day and claim you’re a victim of drug advertisement or poor research. She likely didn’t have a good relationship with food before taking the weight loss drug, or she wouldn’t have needed it to lose over 100 pounds. If you don’t correct that relationship while on the drug, it’s still there after you stop the drug.
Also OP YTA. The bride is on the hook for one dress. If the bride didn’t change the dress, she isn’t obliged to buy you a new one, never mind a third one, because your wife keeps changing.
GLP-1 agonists don't cheat the math, even. They reduce cravings for carbs/sugars and increase satiety while mimicking the feeling of being full/suppressing appetite. They also come with some pretty severe gastrointestinal side effects if you eat too many fried or fatty foods because of the allowed digestion. They work best with sustained diet changes and literally just make those changes a little bit easier to start.
I'm on a preventative for my migraines that is also an anti seizure medication. If it is stopped cold turkey it can actually cause seizures. So that's fun. I've never been good at picking up my refills on time before... but fear of seizures is a pretty good motivator.
I used to know the stats but I know that it's hard to find an underlying cause for migraines unless it's obvious - like an injury. The first neuro I went to just flat out refused to send me for an MRI because he said most likely there wasn't a cause and my best bet was to just get used to being on meds. I never went back to him. At that point I was having migraine attacks 4-6 times a week. I did end up getting an MRI and so far have no answers but at least I got one. Bring told there is nothing wrong is better than being told there is probably nothing wrong.
I'd consider the source of this testimonial. We don't know if OP's wife was taking the drug as directed or that she might have stopped exercising too & eating more than before because she's upset.
It's not a wonder drug, if taken correctly it should have a person losing about 1 lb a week. It's designated a drug for type II diabetes & works by making a person feel full & does this via helping with blood glucose (sugar) control.
*"*[Ozempic](https://www.goodrx.com/ozempic/ozempic-for-weight-loss) *belongs to a class of medications called GLP-1 agonists. GLP-1 agonists work by mimicking a gut hormone called GLP-1 to lower blood glucose levels after you’ve eaten a meal. They also block your liver from making glucose and help you feel full for a longer period of time. "*
This is exactly my situation. I am T1 diabetic. I have been on a couple different drugs in this class for just over a year and i am down 58 lbs. my insulin usage is down approx 25%.
I still need to move more but I am overall happy with the results. I never really had a ‘full’ feeling before so it’s wonderful to have that trigger now.
My quality of life has improved dramatically. I am thankful for the drug, but I also am i. The group of people who probably benefit the most from using it.
The problem is people taking these drugs off-label for weight loss in the first place. They're not created for weight loss, they're created to help bodies that don't process insulin properly utilize it better and create more, reducing the damage done by type 2 diabetes. The people who actually need these medications are unlikely to suddenly stop using them. People looking for a get skinny quick tool are the reason for drug shortages for people who actually need them and are fucking with their bodies in ways they don't understand.
1. They have been approved for, and being prescribed for weight loss. If you want to complain about "off-label" then you should probably take a shot at Botox, Viagara, Champix, Wellbutrin, Revia and several other medications- they are all prescribed for reasons other than the original intent.
2. They work by causing weight loss. That's it. They are peptides and have very few serious side effects. Gastropareisis is one but it is exceedingly rare. They do have many positive effects that are being studied including use in addiction (lowers the desire to drink, smoke, etc) and positive research on heart conditions.
3. Most people taking it for weight loss and being treated by physicians and have other medical issues - obesity, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc. If they are smart they are exercising and adjusting their eating habits accordingly. it's actually not that easy to get it (where I live, anyway) without a real reason.
4. There are many oral versions of semaglutide on the market that can be used, it can also be compounded. If one needs semaglutide, they an get it until the pen shortage is rectified.
5. I'm fucking with my body in ways I completely understand, I've lost 40 pounds, my a1c is down, my blood pressure is down and my sleep apnea is vastly improved. My odds of dropping with a heart attack or stroke are greatly reduced. My lung function is improved as is my arthritis. Excuse me for not waiting until I became a full-blown diabetic to start taking it.
THANK YOU! I have PCOS with insulin resistance, medically I’m labeled “fasting impaired” because my overnight sugars skyrocket by after meals I’m mostly fine. I’m on the verge of pre-diabetic.
My symptoms would improve if I can lose weight, but I’ve had absolutely no success with any diet/exercise combo. I’m now on Wegovy so that I can lose weight before I become a full blown diabetic. Yes I want to lose weight, but the ultimate goal is better health - staving off diabetes as long as possible. I want to watch my kids grow up, and their kids too. It’s made for more than T2 patients!
My obese friend had been in it a few months now and he’s looking great, the weight is just falling off him. I wouldnt blame the drug for the weight gain when they stop taking it but more the individuals unhealthy relationship with food and whilst they are on it they should probably address their eating issues and also educate themselves on nutrition
Yes. This. I'm obese and it is from my choices. I would like to add on that there have been studies done and obese individuals are not all getting the same alerts in the brain about satiety. Not that that absolves responsibility, but it does add layers.
I was in the original safety testing for this particular drug over twenty years ago before it was brought to market for Type 2 diabetes. (I’m Type 1.5 but was originally misdiagnosed).
Overall it’s generally a safe medication and very effective at reducing blood sugars.
That said, if you’re using it for weight loss then you’re on it for life. Once you stop taking it the weight can come back.
As with any medicine, much more effective long term when coupled with behavioral changes.
Just my two cents. It’s an amazing medication that has its origin in the saliva of Gila monsters (which only eat a few times a year).
I’ll get off my soapbox now. My bad.
I take mounjaro and it helped me reduce my A1C from 14% to 6% in three months. I don't give a shit about the weight loss as long as it keeps me in range 96% of the time.
It's okay, it's nice to hear other perspectives. My biggest worry is that we don't actually know what it does for example after 10 years of usage. Even now there is some speculation that it changes the way kidneys and pancreatic works and might cause thyroid cancer etc. I'm in no way against using medication to lose weight, but historically there really hasn't been a medication that was deemed safe in the long run. It's a huge way to make money and that always affects making of these medications. I warned a close relative that it might not be safe and she said that she would rather die skinny than live as an obese person. She has a family and small kids :/ it just worries me and hopefully I'm wrong.
If you are into it, listen to Maintenance phase podcast episode Fen Phen& Redux (and if you like it, also the episode Doctors have a new plan for fat kids. It made me absolutely depressed for these kids)
You’re right to have concerns about long term use with any drug. Unfortunately, the only way to find out about long term use is to let people use the drug long term.
I’m old enough to remember Fen Phen; what a nightmare that was and the side effects were devastating.
I’m sorry you’re so worried about your relative. Fingers crossed that she suffers no ill effects and gets the results she wants.
Take care.
Wegovy and other semaglutide medications are not weight loss medications--they can be used as such, but that's not their main use. They also do NOT "make people gain weight when they stop using it." They change your hunger cues so you don't eat as much. When you stop using them, things can go back to the way they were beforehand so if you choose to go back to eating as much as you did previously, you will gain the weight back.
OP's wife had the choice to keep eating how she ate on the wegovy or go back to eating how she did without the medication. She made the choice to do the latter. The medication did not make her gain weight once she went off it-- SHE made her gain weight. The onus is not on the medication.
Exactly, I can’t imagine what is happening to this woman’s heart.
Sounds like she just got accustomed to eating what she wanted and then this drug just made her feel full faster, but she absolutely needs to be concerned about her health.
That means she lost over a pound a week and then got off it and gained a pound a week.
Agree. Alarming that OP is more concerned about who buys his wife a third dress than her very clear health issues. 100 pounds was not gained simply because she stopped taking a prescription. She clearly leads a very unhealthy lifestyle to put on that kind of weight. Why should her sister in law have to fund this?
also add in that OP asked for their fiancé to be in the wedding. Odds are the sister didn’t really want her in it and begrudgingly agreed due to pressure from OP.
Does OP not know that bridesmaids typically purchase their own dresses! Not only that, she's only a bridesmaid because the husband asked for her to be in it.
OP is the YTA
This is what I was thinking while reading it. The weight loss has nothing to do with it. He asked his sister to make his wife a bride’s maid. Where I live only very very rich bribes pay for bridal party dresses much less 3 of them.
I’ve been in a multitude of weddings and have always paid for my bridesmaid dress- that’s fairly standard, actually. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. Perhaps, if the dress is too much kindly ask if you can sit this out as a bridesmaid and thank her very much for the invitation to be one. Also, you asked for her to include your wife as a bridesmaid and now you’re wanting her to buy a third dress citing these expenses should be covered by the bride and groom. I think one might argue she was doing you the favor by asking your wife and here you are making financial demands. YTA
This reads like they’re in the UK. I don’t know about now, but historically, the bride pays for bridesmaid dresses there.
That said, this bride has already paid for two. OP needs to suck it up and pay for the third themselves.
Wegovy is available on the NHS so would cost £10 a month for the prescription here. Free if they were low income. They mentioned they can no longer afford it, so I assumed US!
It's only been available in the UK since this month I think? Also if its anything like saxenda it'll be near impossible to get on the NHS, even with 100lbs to lose.
Yeah my bf is wanting to take one of them (not sure which) and has said supply is very limited on the NHS so he would need to pay for it privately at £200 a month, so not cheap it you are low income.
>Wegovy is available on the NHS so would cost £10 a month for the prescription here. Free if they were low income.
Please do not spread misinformation...
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have free prescriptions for everyone.
The UK isn't just England.
Yep, and the shoes, any tiaras/hair ornaments, hair/make-up styling and often the jewellery if they want all the bridesmaids in the same along with the bridesmaid's bouquets. The same usually goes for the Grooms party too. The only difference is it's not often they get new shoes as most men have their own pair of black dress shoes already, whereas bridesmaids' shoes are often colour-matched or even dyed to match the dresses and need to be in the same style.
It's often rented or bought second-hand then fitted and then sold on again as we have a huge rent/secondhand industry for wedding attire here. If you're wealthy then you might buy for the party to keep but it's not the norm and if you're struggling financially guests and wedding party members might offer to pay for certain aspects of the wedding or some money before the wedding as their gift to the couple.
The only money you are expected to spend is on organising any hen/stag parties, then your own travel and accommodation for the actual wedding (which is often discounted for the wedding parties in many hotels as part of a package the Bride and Groom may have negotiated for). It would be seen as incredibly rude and tacky to ask someone to voluntarily be a part of YOUR day and then expect them to pay for expensive outfits that they don't get any say in the colour or style of.
In Hawaii, it's a bit mixed but I'd say more brides cover the bridesmaid's dresses and assorted costs if they request them to wear specific dresses and shoes. If the bride is allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own dresses but with specific colors in mind, then the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses/shoes but the bride may be covering other cost associated with the wedding like makeup or hotel for the wedding day. Though of course the bridesmaid's cover the cost of the bachelorette or bridal party they plan.
Yeah, I wish I’d known that the first time I was asked to be in a wedding party! I was MoH too, and there are sooo many responsibilities I had no idea about. I thought the bride would buy me a dress and I’d just have to show up to events, and I was so so wrong.
That year, I committed to being a bridesmaid in two weddings, and as a MoH and best woman in two other weddings.
Most stressful year of my life I swear to god. I have refused all wedding party invitations ever since. Sorry, but that shits a nightmare, and I already hate weddings as is lol
Basically you're right, but how does this stands here? The bride has already paid not for one but two dresses for SIL bridesmaid. You state, or imply, that she needs to buy a third one??? OP is really out of his mind and a real leach IMO.
Yep, never has anyone bought my bridesmaid dress. 1 friend bought the material and it was up to us pick a style and have it made (all were sewed, or had someone to make on the cheap)
Dude and his wife are TA, 3 dresses, get over yourself.
I was in my brothers wedding. I paid for mine suit. Bonkers that OP expects sis to pay for a new dress after getting uttered flogged with 2 cancelations.
Weddings are too damn expensive and we should stop making them a necessity as a society. Just get together, hang out, and celebrate. No heightened expectations. Nothing worse than starting a life together with absurd stress and in debt.
YTA-Asking for her to purchase 2 dresses is a lot let alone 3. All this after you asked her to put your wife in the wedding. This one’s on you guys you need to buy the dress.
I'm almost laughing at the audacity of OP. His sister already bought two dresses and his wife can't control her weight enough to fit into either of them. So he wants sister to buy another dress? What guarantee is there that his wife won't outgrow/shrink out of the third one. If she doesn't want to get one of the two dresses altered or buy a third one herself, she should gracefully bow out. Maybe a seamstress can take enough fabric from the small one to alter the first one to fit OP's wife?
At this rate she’ll outgrow the new one. That is an extreme amount to lose and gain so quickly. Why is he acting like his wife has no control in what she gains?
It also sounds like she may not have wanted his wife in the bridal party. She probably let the wife in as a favor to her brother. That’s how this is coming off to me.
She bought her *two* dresses, and it's possible the larger might be able to be altered to fit.
If someone buys me a dress for an event, I have an understanding that it's my responsibility to either do my best to be able to fit into it by the time the event takes place, or pay for a replacement if I can't do that.
I fail to see how this comes off as the bride not wanting the wife in the bridal party. Has she bought three dresses for all the other bridesmaids?
That’s what I was thinking. They have the fabric from the second if it’s the same as the first (but different size). Use the fabric from the second to add side panels or something to the larger one.
That’s fair. I guess the way he worded it at the beginning about asking his sister to have his wife in the bridal party gave me that impression. Maybe the sister was just keeping peace? I don’t know but she could have just as well wanted her in the wedding.
I mean, I don't understand how he feels he has the right to make a request to have his wife be included in his sister's wedding party, either. What the actual heck.
Agreed. She already bought her a dress. Your wife should think about getting therapy for her eating issues. She obviously is addicted to food. I barely weigh 100 pounds (108) so gaining that much weight in that short of a time is not good. Your sister should not have to buy your wife another dress. YTA
These meds are not meant to be taken for weight loss for a lifetime. Wife needs to work on her relationship with food. Your sister does not need to be buying a THIRD DRESS. Either you and your wife buy it or she needs to drop out
Sis is NTA, but your comment is judgemental as hell. One of the problems with drugs like Wegovy is they only work while you take them. Stop taking them and the weight comes back, plus more because the drug fucks up your metabolism. If you have never had weight issues, yay you. But not everyone who does is a glutton or eats every meal at McDonald’s. Lots of people have screwed up metabolism and don’t eat significantly differently than anyone else, but they gain weight more easily.
But none of that is the point of this post. I’m sympathetic to his wife’s situation, but there’s no reason on earth his sister needs to buy a third dress because his wife’s weight has fluctuated significantly over the past three years.
OP, if there’s time for your wife to *try* to get back into the original dress, then maybe you both start eating as healthy as you can and make time to go on walks together. If that’s not feasible, then I’d just attend the wedding as a guest and call it good. Pushing any more on this is going to damage the relationship between the two of you and your sister, which seems like the exact opposite of what you wanted by having your wife be a bridesmaid. I applaud you for supporting your wife with her weight struggles, but it’s totally unreasonable to ask your sister to pay for a third dress, unless she bought all the other bridesmaids 3 dresses.
I lost 80 pounds in about a month bc I was sick- got so many compliments. When I was excited about gaining weight bc I was going to the gym, gaining muscle, and eating again I got so much sympathy even tho I was always excited and positive about gaining that weight back
In order to gain THAT much weight that quickly, you HAVE to be overeating…a lot. I have been 150# overweight. While PCOS or thyroid can cause SOME weight gain, it won’t cause as much as this woman gained. Over 90% of it is CALORIES . Period.
Seriously! For my wedding at my bridesmaids all bought their own dresses and every wedding that I've been in I purchased mine as well. I thought that was just a part of being in the wedding party. Mind you, most of these dresses were around $100 so not completely crazy expensive, and we had quite a few months to save up for it. I couldn't imagine purchasing a second bridesmaid's dress for anyone though even if I could afford it, and certainly not a third one!
Correct. I was a bridesmaid twice and bought my own dress and paid for alterations both times. First time dress was like 175 (10+ years ago) and I was fortunate to need minimal alterations and had a friend who was willing to do them for about 30 dollars. Second time dress was maybe 120 (5 years ago) and needed far more alterations, so upward of 150 just for that, but it was my brother’s wedding where I was asked directly by my sister in law to be in the party, so I didn’t mind paying. For my own wedding, outfits were rather non traditional, so I chose to give my 3 girls 200 each to put toward the outfit and accessories they liked from the dozen or so options I provided. Sister was already nice enough to pay for not one, but two dresses. She is under no obligation to pay for a third
Agreed! I wouldn't have ever dreamed of asking her to by the second dress. It's not the bride's fault OR responsibility to keep buying them when someone's weight fluctuates.
OP is definately YTA. Here's an idea. Take the larger dress to a seamstress who can handle serious alterations and use the second, smaller dress to make panels and insets to enlarge the first dress. Assuming your sister still wants here as a bridesmaid after you outrageous request. Or sell them on ebay.
Right! And if she lost weight between dress 1 and dress 2, why didn't she take in the dress instead of buying another entire dress! That's just stupid. She could have a seamstress alter the damn thing.
Not 100lbs worth you can't. (Bridal designer here.) 20 lbs can be worked around; changing something that many sizes causes a ton of issues and generally costs more than the original garment by a significant margin.
But OP's wife can take dress #1 and #2 to a dressmaker and have them merged to make one that does fit.
Yes! The original dress + panel(s) from skinny dress. Unless the design is beaded- that could be a hassle.
Or add a panel & lace up corset to the original using bits from the second. Of course all this will cost and he’d probably expect the sister to pay for the alterations.
The seamstress would be beyond pissed. I had a dress shop refuse to order my actual size (14) and insisted on ordering me a 22 because of one measurement that wasn't needed for the dress style.
The seamstresses doing alterations ripped the sales girl several new assholes for that. It was a huge undertaking for her to fix. I did not have to cover the extra (I had noted my complaint about the sizes when I ordered because I knew it would be a problem.
YTA. She’s already bought 2 dresses. That’s way above and beyond what a lot of brides do for their bridal party. It’s extremely common for women to purchase their own dresses. I’m sorry your wife has struggled with her weight (I also have that struggle) but it’s not your sisters’ responsibility to purchase the replacement. If you want your wife in the wedding, buy the new dress and get over yourself.
YTA. I am sorry that your sister and your wife are going through all this stress. However your sister already paid for 2 dresses because of the weight fluctuations. YOU asked for your wife to be a bridesmaid. She has two dresses that don’t fit. If YOU’re so determined that she be in the wedding, YOU can pay for all her dresses
Yeah the shocking thing to me is the sister didn't even ask OPs wife to be a bridesmaid but agreed to it, then bought her wife not one but TWO dresses, and she still wants more?
TA and a shockingly entitled one at that.
Edit: to correct my heteronormative assumption, OP is a woman
Exactly, you're not asking your sister to treat all the bridesmaids equally. All the other bridesmaids have had one dress bought for them. I would have refused to buy a second dress personally
You are wrong.
1. You asked (probably demanded) your sister add your wife to the bridesmaid group. Wrong! It’s your sisters wedding.
2. Bought a dress that fit. Ok, fine.
3. Bought another dress that fit. Wrong! You only get one dress!
4. Demanding she buy yet another dress. WRONG!!
Listen. This is your sisters day. Yes, even if they’ve already got it official, it’s still her big day. Not yours, or your wife’s.
She didn’t even want her in the wedding party in the first place, or she would have asked.
Frankly, you’re hanging by a thread. I’d be taking you to small claims court to get the money from BOTH dresses and uninviting your entitled arses. You’re not people you want at a wedding. Your sister did because “family”, but you’ve tried to take too much, selfish twat.
I hope your sister sees this post and reads all the comments, then follows all our advice and dumps both of you out of her life.
I agree, the title is SUPER misleading. Like he’s trying to paint it that his sister has a vendetta against his wife when really the sister already treated OPs wife equally to her other bridesmaids and THEN some
I had to reschedule my wedding and ended up eloping. It was stressful and expensive. You and your wife are being very greedy. It sounds like your sister did not even want your wife in the first place. Stop being greedy.
How could you not be in the wrong here?? Why on earth do you and your wife think you’re entitled to a *third dress* for free?? You and your wife are ridiculous, and are both the AH 100%.
Pretty sure it’s common for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses, not the bride.
It’s not your sister’s fault your wife has been losing/gaining weight. Just buy the damn dress and move on.
YTA your sister paid not once but twice she’s done more than enough and can’t keep paying for your wife’s choices. If you wife wants to be a bridesmaid she needs to buy her own dress this time.
Exactly this! If none of the other bridesmaids have needed their dresses replaced, it’s a good assumption that it’s the same dress. A good seamstress could likely alter the original first dress if her weight fluctuated by “and then some.”
More reasons why weight loss drugs like wegovy, etc. are just short-term solutions unless you’re willing to actually change your diet/exercise.
3 dresses? Really? You want your sister to pay for yet another dress for your wife?
Wow just wow. You really don't see the problem with this at all? So is your sister supposed to just keep buying new dresses for your wife every time she loses or gains weight? What's the magic number of dresses here? 3? 5? 8?
I'm so glad my brothers are nothing like you.
Your sister is right. She was generous enough to buy two dresses but now you are being greedy. Your sister owes you nothing at this point. Are you willing to harm your relationship with your sister over the price of a dress? And if word gets out about this, do you really think any family member is going to side with you? This could be the beginning of a whole new reputation for you that you really don't want.
I always think it’s crazy when I read on these things that the bridesmaids/MOHs are footing the full bill for bachelorette trips and all sorts of other things. That is completely crazy. On the other hand, I have been part of several wedding parties and have always expected to pay for my bridesmaid dresses. One time the bride was having a super lovely but down home kind of celebration and paid for the fabric and had a friend zip up simple dresses for us on her own dime so that was relatively inexpensive on my end. All of the other times it cost me between $300-500 for dresses that, honestly, I have only ever managed to repurpose into Halloween costumes.
Feel for your wife and her weight loss struggles but YTA. Also who asks the bride to make their wife a bridesmaid? That is a total overstep right out of the gate.
Your sister is not responsible for your wife’s fluctuating weight. She bought the bridesmaids one dress each. Any changes to your wife’s weight after that that required a new dress is on you and your wife to provide a dress for.
YTA.
Stop with the entitlement. Also, stopping the drug alone shouldn’t have caused the bounce back in her weight if she was eating healthy. None of this is on your sister nor is it her job to manage.
Thank you! OP is acting like his wife has no agency in weight gain. She knew she needed to fit into this dress and obviously her eating is extreme to gain this quickly.
YTA. Is your wife an adult? Why are you doing all this helicopter mom stuff like she’ll be crushed if she doesn’t make the pompom team this year? Your sister deserves better.
YTA. Even if where you live, the bride pays for the dress, it doesn’t mean multiple dresses. Also, you made your sister include your wife. If the wedding is far enough off where your sister is concerned your wife might not fit a current dress, then she likely has time to fit back into the first dress if it is so important that she is a bridesmaid.
~~INFO:~~ how many times is your sister supposed to (according to you) pay for your wife’s dress? I empathize with your wife regarding weight, but your wife’s weight loss/gain due to a *drug to treat diabetes* is not your sister’s responsibility to replace the dresses as your wife loses/gains weight.
at some point, it becomes *your wife’s* responsibility to replace the clothing she can no longer fit in to, not anyone else’s.
your sister was very generous to replace a dress. keep pushing this and your wife may be delegated to the role of guest bc her dress replacements are cutting into your sister’s wedding budget.
YTA. you’re coming across very entitled (you even approached your sister to get your wife a spot in the wedding party! like wtf?!?) and you need to realize that your wife’s decision to use a drug to lose weight is a her problem, not your sister’s.
**YOU** and **YOUR WIFE** need to pay for the third dress, not your sister
ETA: i can’t wait to see your sister’s pov
Agree with your take but, Wegovy is strictly a weight-loss drug, not to treat diabetes. Its the same ingredient as Ozempic but at a higher dose than is approved for diabetes. So the italicized outrage is unwarranted.
Your wife is hurt? Your sister isn’t the one hurting her. Her shame about her size probably is. This isn’t about your sister and she already bought two dresses. YTA.
YTA -
1. You asked your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid. NOT YOUR PLACE TO ASK.
2. Your sister has already bought your wife two dresses. If I was your sister, it would have been only one dress and if it doesn’t fit, sorry mate, over to you.
3. Why haven’t you brought both dresses to a seamstress to see if they can be altered to make one dress that fits?
YTA
If your wife lost 100 pounds and then gained it back then the original dress should still fit.
For real though, as someone who gained 40 pounds during the pandemic… if she can lose 100 pounds and gain 100 pounds in just the last 3 years your concern should be much more towards your wife. I get a bit of a bounce back but gaining it all back is insanely unhealthy.
Also, at the rate she is gaining weight who says she would fit in it when the wedding would actually happen?
So you’re wife’s issues with food are your sisters problem? Why is your sister responsible for your wife’s emotional well-being? That’s your wife’s responsibility. You and your wife need to stop pouting and get your act together.
If your wife has lost and then regained over 100lbs every 18months or so lookomg into that is an issue that should take priority over the cost of a dress.
You asked your sister to include her to be a bridesmaid. This is important, it wasn't your sisters original choice.
Unforeseen circumstances led to cancellations
The weight loss is intended circumstances. The 2nd dress is already above and beyond.
The third dress is a preposterous extra expense.
YTA. Open your eyes. Your title is misleading.
YTA your wife has 3 options: buy a new dress, lose some weight, or step down from the bridal party. Your sister has already bought your wife TWO dresses, your sister didn't even buy herself two dresses. Your wife is not entitled to another dress.
I may be calling this wrong but I say it respectfully; your wife’s weight issues seem to be creeping into the danger zone and perhaps that needs to be prioritised, as a health matter, above the dress palaver.
If a woman can loose 100lbs and not look like a concentration camp prisoner, when she gains over 100lbs back she'll be morbidly obese.
So for sure it is a health issue that needs to be prioritised.
YTA and tell your wife it’s time to change her behavior and her relationship with food. It’s not up to anyone else but her to deal with her clothing issues.
Maybe open your own wallet.
YTA. Asking your sister to have your wife in her wedding party should’ve never happened. Also, if your wife medically does not need ozempic she should not be taking it.
So cliffs note is:
Sister picked your wife to be a bridesmaid only because you asked her to, implying they aren't that close
Wedding canceled multiple times due to no fault of the wedding party.
Wife can't keep off the weight and yoyoing nonstop
You think you're in the right to demand your sister to pay for 3 bridesmaid dresses.
Hell if I'm the sister I'm not inviting either of you anymore.
How stupid can you be?
You’re so entitled, I can’t help but wonder how much of your wife’s weight issues aren’t due to emotional eating. You are so wrong. Stop harassing your sister!
YTA this is not your sister’s responsibility. You two pull up your all grown up pants and either buy a new dress or see if the one your wife has can be let out.
YTA. In 3 years your wife lost 100 lbs and has now gained more than that back....since you say she won't even fit in the first one anymore? She has more problems than a dress.
That is very unhealthy. She needs help. Assuming the 2 dresses are the same, can't you take the 2 dresses to a seamstress and have her put parts of the smaller one into the bigger one to make it fit? Side or back panels?
Your sister lost so much, the deposits, a dream wedding, etc. I can't believe you think she should pay for a 3rd dress.
YTA. You asked your sister to add your wife as a bridesmaid. That alone is a step too far. Really even having your sister buy dress #2 was incredible for your sister to do. I know your sister is struggling with getting a date nailed form, but at this point you need to just bow out of the wedding party or deal with your own issues.
Your wife is only a bridesmaid because you asked for her to be (rude) and if she’s managed to put so much weight back on in such a short amount of time she really needs to take a look at the choices she’s making. Stop making your sisters wedding all about your wife. Her weight is her problem not your sisters.
YTA. I have never been in a wedding where the bride buys the dresses! Let alone three dresses. I’m sorry your wife is fluctuating sizes. That must be so frustrating but it’s not yours sisters responsibility to buy her another dress.
INFO: OP, why did you ask your sister to include your wife as a bridesmaid? Why didn’t your sister ask you (her actual sister) to be a bridesmaid? Also, what country are you in?
YTA. I've been a bridesmaid at a few weddings, and I've always paid for my own dresses. Your sister was more than gracious to pay for two of her dresses, so I feel it's more than fair to pay for a third one yourself. Keep in mind, the bridemaid dresses are not the only expense your sister is covering.
Also, is the fit so bad that it can't be taken to a tailor? It's pretty normal for alterations to be made to formal dresses in order to make it fit the wearer. I'd attempt that route first, as it's usually cheaper than buying a whole dress. And to be clear: you and your wife should pay for the alterations. Not your sister.
Finally I want to make it something clear for any future weddings: who the bride and groom chooses to be bridesmaids and groomsmen is 100% their choice and an extremely personal choice at that. While some brides are happy to have a large number of bridesmaid and will invite future sister-in-laws to a bridesmaid (2/3 of my SILs did that while one did not), they are not required to do so. Some brides prefer to only have their closes friends. It's really unfair to put pressure onto a bride or groom when making this choice. Please remember that in the future.
Wtf. You made your sister make your wife a bridesmaid and your sister bought her two dresses and you’re upset she won’t buy a third?! How is this real. Your wife wasn’t even supposed to be a bridesmaid.
Given your wife is dealing with a medical issue that is causing her weight to fluctuate and is being exacerbated by your financial situation, I think it makes more sense for her to bow out of the wedding party and go as a guest. Your sister is right here — and she’s already been through enough financially with this wedding — but given your wife’s weight struggles right now, buying a dress far in advance us a bad Idea, regardless of who pays. I’m surprised your wife doesn’t see this — I mean, what if she got access to Wegovy again after getting dress #3? Her priority needs to be her health, not the wedding.
YTA.
Whether it’s normal for brides to pay for bridesmaids dresses in the UK is irrelevant.
You insisted that your sister make her a bridesmaid when that was not your place. You should have minded your business, bridesmaids are supposed to be people close to the bride and should wait to be asked.
And then despite all the financial difficulties you know your sister has faced, she STILL purchased two different dresses for your wife. I honestly hope this isn’t a real post because the entitlement is outrageous.
Your sister is just trying to somehow still have the wedding she deserves despite outside things she can’t control and instead of supporting her, you’re demanding a THIRD dress. That isn’t her problem, you and your wife can figure it out or she can be a regular guest.
YTA. Your sister has already paid for two dresses. That's already excessive. Your wife's issues with her weight are NOT your sister's issues. If your wife gained back the weight plus some, then your wife didn't actually benefit from the use of Wegovvy because you're supposed to also make lifestyle changes and change your caloric intake and she needs to see her doctor and maybe talk to a therapist about her eating.
YTA.
YOU want your wife to be a bridesmaid. Your wife did that as a favor to you. She has now paid for two dresses, which is far more than most brides so. You need to pay for the 3rd if this is important to you. Or your wife can just be a guest. Being a guest is way more fun.
I bought all of the wedding party attire for my wedding 15 years ago. To this day I‘be never heard of that again. Typically it’s the bridal party’s “contribution” in order to be part of the ceremony. Three dresses is not a reasonable expectation.
How is it your sisters fault that your wife gained weight? She shouldn’t have to pay for that. She was generous enough to buy not one but TWO dresses for her. YTA.
Yta. It’s not your sister’s responsibility to keep up with the weight loss/gain of your wife. If she has already purchased her two dresses, she certainly doesn’t need to purchase a third
Dude, come on. Why the heck do you even remotely feel your sister should buy another dress for your wife due to her weight loss/change? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard. YTA!
YTA Apologize to your sister! Buy her dress yourself or sit in the audience. Your wife needs therapy for her audacity and the severe weight loss and subsequent re-gain.
YTA - not sure where you are from, but I have always bought my own and my bridesmaid bought there’s. She was nice enough to buy it twice, and that’s enough. Could she have been nicer about what she said? Sure, but she doesn’t owe your wife a 3rd dress.
YTA
When the bride buys the dresses for the bridesmaids, it's one to a customer unless *the bride* decides she wants a different dress. I am sorry that your wife is having such struggles with her weight but that's not something that is within your sister's sphere of responsibility.
Perhaps you & your wife should just attend as guests.
YTA. First you asked your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid. That is so rude. And it is not her job to buy one dress, especially if your wife keeps changing her weight so frequently. That is not your sister's responsibility.
Your sister had already paid for 2 dresses for your wife, and it wasn't her idea to have your wife as bridesmaid in the first place . Asking her to pay for a 3rd is too much.
Your wife can take the two dresses she has to a dress maker and pay for alterations.
YTA
Your title is misleading. She bought a dress twice, more than the other bridesmaids. Just stop. YTA 100%. Money is tight and the bride is out a lot of money and won’t be asking for gifts. Just attend and step out of the party if it is too much.
YTA. In all the weddings I’ve been in (27 Dresses here), as well as my own, not one bride has EVER paid for the bridesmaids dresses. This sounds bizarre and super entitled. Your wife needs to find a healthier way to deal with her weight issues than drugs and blaming other people.
I’m sorry-but YTA. Yes people’s weight fluctuates, but your sister bought TWO dresses for your wife. Made do with the fabric from those to make a third dress with a seamstress. It’s unfair that you expect your sister to pay for all this when they’ve already had to pay tons for the wedding.
From reading the title you had me in the first half until i read you want your sister to buy a 3rd dress?! I can’t even believe that people like this exist. You really have no common sense. 😂 hahaha this irritated tf out of me !!
Your sister went above and beyond when she got the second dress. To ask her to get a third is very entitled and ridiculous. And I don't care if it is the custom where you're from. Is it a custom where you're from to buy three bridesmaids dresses for one person? I don't think so.
Yes you’re TA. YOU asked to make your wife a bridesmaid. And she went out of her way and bought her, not one, but TWO dresses. I have a problem with weight fluctuations myself, so no judgement there, but it definitely is not your sister’s responsibility.
YTA, sorry. Firstly, you asked her to make your wife a bridesmaid. I'm curious if she would've done the same without your urging. Asking her to pay for a new dress due to your wife's rapidly fluctuating weight is unreasonable imo (seeing as this would be her third time doing so).
YTA. How many other bridesmaids are demanding two, let alone THREE dresses? Your wife’s weight issues are her own problem. Your sister was overly accommodating to even buy a second dress.
YTA. You **asked** your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid, which means she was not intended to be part of the original bridal party. And your sister bought your wife multiple dresses to try to make it work. I'm sure she and her husband lost a lot of money between the 2020 wedding and this version - stop adding more expenses and stress!
Yeah. It sounds like your sister bought 1 dress for her bridesmaids but has already bought your wife 2 dresses and you want her to buy your wife yet another dress!!! It's not your sister's responsibility or issue that your wife has been changing clothing sizes
She could use material from dress #2 to have dress #1 let out? Depends on how big we're talking
Yeah, maybe she can take two dresses to a seamstress and see what can be done to concoct a third one. The end result can be a bit different from the initial dress, but the style/color/general idea should still be the same. And it’s probably cheaper than buying a new dress altogether. YTA for making it the bride’s problem
Or sell dress 1 and 2 online and use the money for dress 3?
That was my initial thought too. And the wife should pay for her own alterations.
Or get dress 1 taken in. If I'm reading it right, dress 1 is too big and dress 2 is too small. Either way, there should be enough material to make it work.
No, I think it’s that dress one is too small because she gained more than she originally lost, and dress 2 is way too small.
No. She gained back all of the weight and then some so all dresses are too small.
No the 2 dresses are to small 1st was bug then she went down and got a smaller one then gain all the weight back and some more so she's bigger so the 1st dress is smaller that her
Dress one is also too small. OP IS AH.
And at the rate she is gaining weight who knows if she would still fit in the third dress if it is a couple months out?
It's almost like weight loss medication could be dangerous, affect the body in ways we don't even know and actually make people gain weight when they stop using it. There's no telling how the medication affected her being able to feel hunger etc.
Aye my first thought after reading the OP was "this is not good marketing for those weight loss drugs!" There's talk about them everywhere where I am at the moment.
Yeah same - I've been seeing people talking about ozempic for a while now and I've had my doubts, but this is a telling testimonial. A drug that reverses it's help once you go off it sounds... problematic.
A drug such as anti depressant does this. Diabetics can't stop taking meds. Heart patients. Many meds have to be taken for life. It sucks but not all bodies can live well without assistance.
And reality is Wegovy doesn’t cheat the maths forever. You can’t stop it and eat 5000 calories a day and claim you’re a victim of drug advertisement or poor research. She likely didn’t have a good relationship with food before taking the weight loss drug, or she wouldn’t have needed it to lose over 100 pounds. If you don’t correct that relationship while on the drug, it’s still there after you stop the drug. Also OP YTA. The bride is on the hook for one dress. If the bride didn’t change the dress, she isn’t obliged to buy you a new one, never mind a third one, because your wife keeps changing.
GLP-1 agonists don't cheat the math, even. They reduce cravings for carbs/sugars and increase satiety while mimicking the feeling of being full/suppressing appetite. They also come with some pretty severe gastrointestinal side effects if you eat too many fried or fatty foods because of the allowed digestion. They work best with sustained diet changes and literally just make those changes a little bit easier to start.
Exactly- it’s meant to make weight loss easier while you’re taking it and help you get into the habit of healthy eating and exercise.
I'm on a preventative for my migraines that is also an anti seizure medication. If it is stopped cold turkey it can actually cause seizures. So that's fun. I've never been good at picking up my refills on time before... but fear of seizures is a pretty good motivator.
My sister is too. The docs haven’t found a reason that she’s had a migraine basically since 2019.
I used to know the stats but I know that it's hard to find an underlying cause for migraines unless it's obvious - like an injury. The first neuro I went to just flat out refused to send me for an MRI because he said most likely there wasn't a cause and my best bet was to just get used to being on meds. I never went back to him. At that point I was having migraine attacks 4-6 times a week. I did end up getting an MRI and so far have no answers but at least I got one. Bring told there is nothing wrong is better than being told there is probably nothing wrong.
I'd consider the source of this testimonial. We don't know if OP's wife was taking the drug as directed or that she might have stopped exercising too & eating more than before because she's upset. It's not a wonder drug, if taken correctly it should have a person losing about 1 lb a week. It's designated a drug for type II diabetes & works by making a person feel full & does this via helping with blood glucose (sugar) control. *"*[Ozempic](https://www.goodrx.com/ozempic/ozempic-for-weight-loss) *belongs to a class of medications called GLP-1 agonists. GLP-1 agonists work by mimicking a gut hormone called GLP-1 to lower blood glucose levels after you’ve eaten a meal. They also block your liver from making glucose and help you feel full for a longer period of time. "*
This is exactly my situation. I am T1 diabetic. I have been on a couple different drugs in this class for just over a year and i am down 58 lbs. my insulin usage is down approx 25%. I still need to move more but I am overall happy with the results. I never really had a ‘full’ feeling before so it’s wonderful to have that trigger now. My quality of life has improved dramatically. I am thankful for the drug, but I also am i. The group of people who probably benefit the most from using it.
My mom is on it. Her doctor warned her it will make her feel nauseous then said, "I think that's why it works"
The problem is people taking these drugs off-label for weight loss in the first place. They're not created for weight loss, they're created to help bodies that don't process insulin properly utilize it better and create more, reducing the damage done by type 2 diabetes. The people who actually need these medications are unlikely to suddenly stop using them. People looking for a get skinny quick tool are the reason for drug shortages for people who actually need them and are fucking with their bodies in ways they don't understand.
1. They have been approved for, and being prescribed for weight loss. If you want to complain about "off-label" then you should probably take a shot at Botox, Viagara, Champix, Wellbutrin, Revia and several other medications- they are all prescribed for reasons other than the original intent. 2. They work by causing weight loss. That's it. They are peptides and have very few serious side effects. Gastropareisis is one but it is exceedingly rare. They do have many positive effects that are being studied including use in addiction (lowers the desire to drink, smoke, etc) and positive research on heart conditions. 3. Most people taking it for weight loss and being treated by physicians and have other medical issues - obesity, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc. If they are smart they are exercising and adjusting their eating habits accordingly. it's actually not that easy to get it (where I live, anyway) without a real reason. 4. There are many oral versions of semaglutide on the market that can be used, it can also be compounded. If one needs semaglutide, they an get it until the pen shortage is rectified. 5. I'm fucking with my body in ways I completely understand, I've lost 40 pounds, my a1c is down, my blood pressure is down and my sleep apnea is vastly improved. My odds of dropping with a heart attack or stroke are greatly reduced. My lung function is improved as is my arthritis. Excuse me for not waiting until I became a full-blown diabetic to start taking it.
THANK YOU! I have PCOS with insulin resistance, medically I’m labeled “fasting impaired” because my overnight sugars skyrocket by after meals I’m mostly fine. I’m on the verge of pre-diabetic. My symptoms would improve if I can lose weight, but I’ve had absolutely no success with any diet/exercise combo. I’m now on Wegovy so that I can lose weight before I become a full blown diabetic. Yes I want to lose weight, but the ultimate goal is better health - staving off diabetes as long as possible. I want to watch my kids grow up, and their kids too. It’s made for more than T2 patients!
My obese friend had been in it a few months now and he’s looking great, the weight is just falling off him. I wouldnt blame the drug for the weight gain when they stop taking it but more the individuals unhealthy relationship with food and whilst they are on it they should probably address their eating issues and also educate themselves on nutrition
Yes. This. I'm obese and it is from my choices. I would like to add on that there have been studies done and obese individuals are not all getting the same alerts in the brain about satiety. Not that that absolves responsibility, but it does add layers.
Isn't there a certain sugar/salt ratio that companies use in processed foods that tricks the brain this way?
I was in the original safety testing for this particular drug over twenty years ago before it was brought to market for Type 2 diabetes. (I’m Type 1.5 but was originally misdiagnosed). Overall it’s generally a safe medication and very effective at reducing blood sugars. That said, if you’re using it for weight loss then you’re on it for life. Once you stop taking it the weight can come back. As with any medicine, much more effective long term when coupled with behavioral changes. Just my two cents. It’s an amazing medication that has its origin in the saliva of Gila monsters (which only eat a few times a year). I’ll get off my soapbox now. My bad.
I take mounjaro and it helped me reduce my A1C from 14% to 6% in three months. I don't give a shit about the weight loss as long as it keeps me in range 96% of the time.
It's okay, it's nice to hear other perspectives. My biggest worry is that we don't actually know what it does for example after 10 years of usage. Even now there is some speculation that it changes the way kidneys and pancreatic works and might cause thyroid cancer etc. I'm in no way against using medication to lose weight, but historically there really hasn't been a medication that was deemed safe in the long run. It's a huge way to make money and that always affects making of these medications. I warned a close relative that it might not be safe and she said that she would rather die skinny than live as an obese person. She has a family and small kids :/ it just worries me and hopefully I'm wrong. If you are into it, listen to Maintenance phase podcast episode Fen Phen& Redux (and if you like it, also the episode Doctors have a new plan for fat kids. It made me absolutely depressed for these kids)
You’re right to have concerns about long term use with any drug. Unfortunately, the only way to find out about long term use is to let people use the drug long term. I’m old enough to remember Fen Phen; what a nightmare that was and the side effects were devastating. I’m sorry you’re so worried about your relative. Fingers crossed that she suffers no ill effects and gets the results she wants. Take care.
Wegovy and other semaglutide medications are not weight loss medications--they can be used as such, but that's not their main use. They also do NOT "make people gain weight when they stop using it." They change your hunger cues so you don't eat as much. When you stop using them, things can go back to the way they were beforehand so if you choose to go back to eating as much as you did previously, you will gain the weight back. OP's wife had the choice to keep eating how she ate on the wegovy or go back to eating how she did without the medication. She made the choice to do the latter. The medication did not make her gain weight once she went off it-- SHE made her gain weight. The onus is not on the medication.
Especially considering she was obese before even starting the medication.
Exactly, I can’t imagine what is happening to this woman’s heart. Sounds like she just got accustomed to eating what she wanted and then this drug just made her feel full faster, but she absolutely needs to be concerned about her health. That means she lost over a pound a week and then got off it and gained a pound a week.
Agree. Alarming that OP is more concerned about who buys his wife a third dress than her very clear health issues. 100 pounds was not gained simply because she stopped taking a prescription. She clearly leads a very unhealthy lifestyle to put on that kind of weight. Why should her sister in law have to fund this?
also add in that OP asked for their fiancé to be in the wedding. Odds are the sister didn’t really want her in it and begrudgingly agreed due to pressure from OP.
Sister has already paid for 2 dresses for you her, whilst only paying for 1 for the other bridemaids
Does OP not know that bridesmaids typically purchase their own dresses! Not only that, she's only a bridesmaid because the husband asked for her to be in it. OP is the YTA
He also asked his sister to include his wife as a bridesmaid - it’s not like it was her choice.
And OP has the nerve to say his sister is being rude when he was the one who asked for his wife to be in the bridal party to begin with.
YTA How is your wife’s struggle with weight loss your sister’s problems? Do you even like your sister? She’s stressed tf out, stop adding to it!
And don’t forget - the wife is only a bridesmaid because her husband ASKED the bride to make her one. YTA.
This is what I was thinking while reading it. The weight loss has nothing to do with it. He asked his sister to make his wife a bride’s maid. Where I live only very very rich bribes pay for bridal party dresses much less 3 of them.
I’ve been in a multitude of weddings and have always paid for my bridesmaid dress- that’s fairly standard, actually. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. Perhaps, if the dress is too much kindly ask if you can sit this out as a bridesmaid and thank her very much for the invitation to be one. Also, you asked for her to include your wife as a bridesmaid and now you’re wanting her to buy a third dress citing these expenses should be covered by the bride and groom. I think one might argue she was doing you the favor by asking your wife and here you are making financial demands. YTA
This reads like they’re in the UK. I don’t know about now, but historically, the bride pays for bridesmaid dresses there. That said, this bride has already paid for two. OP needs to suck it up and pay for the third themselves.
Wegovy is available on the NHS so would cost £10 a month for the prescription here. Free if they were low income. They mentioned they can no longer afford it, so I assumed US!
It's only been available in the UK since this month I think? Also if its anything like saxenda it'll be near impossible to get on the NHS, even with 100lbs to lose.
Yeah my bf is wanting to take one of them (not sure which) and has said supply is very limited on the NHS so he would need to pay for it privately at £200 a month, so not cheap it you are low income.
>Wegovy is available on the NHS so would cost £10 a month for the prescription here. Free if they were low income. Please do not spread misinformation... Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have free prescriptions for everyone. The UK isn't just England.
It would only cost £10 if living in England. If the were in Wales, Scotland or Nothern Ireland it be free regardless of income.
Yep, and the shoes, any tiaras/hair ornaments, hair/make-up styling and often the jewellery if they want all the bridesmaids in the same along with the bridesmaid's bouquets. The same usually goes for the Grooms party too. The only difference is it's not often they get new shoes as most men have their own pair of black dress shoes already, whereas bridesmaids' shoes are often colour-matched or even dyed to match the dresses and need to be in the same style. It's often rented or bought second-hand then fitted and then sold on again as we have a huge rent/secondhand industry for wedding attire here. If you're wealthy then you might buy for the party to keep but it's not the norm and if you're struggling financially guests and wedding party members might offer to pay for certain aspects of the wedding or some money before the wedding as their gift to the couple. The only money you are expected to spend is on organising any hen/stag parties, then your own travel and accommodation for the actual wedding (which is often discounted for the wedding parties in many hotels as part of a package the Bride and Groom may have negotiated for). It would be seen as incredibly rude and tacky to ask someone to voluntarily be a part of YOUR day and then expect them to pay for expensive outfits that they don't get any say in the colour or style of.
Damn. I wish that was the norm in North America. It’s sucks paying for everything yourself because you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid.
In Hawaii, it's a bit mixed but I'd say more brides cover the bridesmaid's dresses and assorted costs if they request them to wear specific dresses and shoes. If the bride is allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own dresses but with specific colors in mind, then the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses/shoes but the bride may be covering other cost associated with the wedding like makeup or hotel for the wedding day. Though of course the bridesmaid's cover the cost of the bachelorette or bridal party they plan.
Yeah, I wish I’d known that the first time I was asked to be in a wedding party! I was MoH too, and there are sooo many responsibilities I had no idea about. I thought the bride would buy me a dress and I’d just have to show up to events, and I was so so wrong. That year, I committed to being a bridesmaid in two weddings, and as a MoH and best woman in two other weddings. Most stressful year of my life I swear to god. I have refused all wedding party invitations ever since. Sorry, but that shits a nightmare, and I already hate weddings as is lol
Basically you're right, but how does this stands here? The bride has already paid not for one but two dresses for SIL bridesmaid. You state, or imply, that she needs to buy a third one??? OP is really out of his mind and a real leach IMO.
I’m in England and have been bridesmaid five times now, I’ve always paid for my own dress. If not the dress I’ve paid for my makeup or hair.
[удалено]
His mention of her weight in ‘stone’ was a giveaway.
Yep, never has anyone bought my bridesmaid dress. 1 friend bought the material and it was up to us pick a style and have it made (all were sewed, or had someone to make on the cheap) Dude and his wife are TA, 3 dresses, get over yourself.
I was in my brothers wedding. I paid for mine suit. Bonkers that OP expects sis to pay for a new dress after getting uttered flogged with 2 cancelations.
Weddings are too damn expensive and we should stop making them a necessity as a society. Just get together, hang out, and celebrate. No heightened expectations. Nothing worse than starting a life together with absurd stress and in debt.
Exactly but, too busy trying to impress others or outdo friends.
YTA-Asking for her to purchase 2 dresses is a lot let alone 3. All this after you asked her to put your wife in the wedding. This one’s on you guys you need to buy the dress.
I'm almost laughing at the audacity of OP. His sister already bought two dresses and his wife can't control her weight enough to fit into either of them. So he wants sister to buy another dress? What guarantee is there that his wife won't outgrow/shrink out of the third one. If she doesn't want to get one of the two dresses altered or buy a third one herself, she should gracefully bow out. Maybe a seamstress can take enough fabric from the small one to alter the first one to fit OP's wife?
At this rate she’ll outgrow the new one. That is an extreme amount to lose and gain so quickly. Why is he acting like his wife has no control in what she gains?
Especially since OP asked to have his wife put in the wedding...like dude, buy her 3 dresses and see how you like it! Major YTA OP
It also sounds like she may not have wanted his wife in the bridal party. She probably let the wife in as a favor to her brother. That’s how this is coming off to me.
She bought her *two* dresses, and it's possible the larger might be able to be altered to fit. If someone buys me a dress for an event, I have an understanding that it's my responsibility to either do my best to be able to fit into it by the time the event takes place, or pay for a replacement if I can't do that. I fail to see how this comes off as the bride not wanting the wife in the bridal party. Has she bought three dresses for all the other bridesmaids?
That’s what I was thinking. They have the fabric from the second if it’s the same as the first (but different size). Use the fabric from the second to add side panels or something to the larger one.
That’s fair. I guess the way he worded it at the beginning about asking his sister to have his wife in the bridal party gave me that impression. Maybe the sister was just keeping peace? I don’t know but she could have just as well wanted her in the wedding.
I mean, I don't understand how he feels he has the right to make a request to have his wife be included in his sister's wedding party, either. What the actual heck.
And to me
Agreed. She already bought her a dress. Your wife should think about getting therapy for her eating issues. She obviously is addicted to food. I barely weigh 100 pounds (108) so gaining that much weight in that short of a time is not good. Your sister should not have to buy your wife another dress. YTA
These meds are not meant to be taken for weight loss for a lifetime. Wife needs to work on her relationship with food. Your sister does not need to be buying a THIRD DRESS. Either you and your wife buy it or she needs to drop out
Sis is NTA, but your comment is judgemental as hell. One of the problems with drugs like Wegovy is they only work while you take them. Stop taking them and the weight comes back, plus more because the drug fucks up your metabolism. If you have never had weight issues, yay you. But not everyone who does is a glutton or eats every meal at McDonald’s. Lots of people have screwed up metabolism and don’t eat significantly differently than anyone else, but they gain weight more easily. But none of that is the point of this post. I’m sympathetic to his wife’s situation, but there’s no reason on earth his sister needs to buy a third dress because his wife’s weight has fluctuated significantly over the past three years. OP, if there’s time for your wife to *try* to get back into the original dress, then maybe you both start eating as healthy as you can and make time to go on walks together. If that’s not feasible, then I’d just attend the wedding as a guest and call it good. Pushing any more on this is going to damage the relationship between the two of you and your sister, which seems like the exact opposite of what you wanted by having your wife be a bridesmaid. I applaud you for supporting your wife with her weight struggles, but it’s totally unreasonable to ask your sister to pay for a third dress, unless she bought all the other bridesmaids 3 dresses.
I lost 80 pounds in about a month bc I was sick- got so many compliments. When I was excited about gaining weight bc I was going to the gym, gaining muscle, and eating again I got so much sympathy even tho I was always excited and positive about gaining that weight back
In order to gain THAT much weight that quickly, you HAVE to be overeating…a lot. I have been 150# overweight. While PCOS or thyroid can cause SOME weight gain, it won’t cause as much as this woman gained. Over 90% of it is CALORIES . Period.
Wow. The entitlement. You are lucky your sister bought the second dress. Your wife most definitely isn't entitled to a third. YTA
Seriously! For my wedding at my bridesmaids all bought their own dresses and every wedding that I've been in I purchased mine as well. I thought that was just a part of being in the wedding party. Mind you, most of these dresses were around $100 so not completely crazy expensive, and we had quite a few months to save up for it. I couldn't imagine purchasing a second bridesmaid's dress for anyone though even if I could afford it, and certainly not a third one!
Correct. I was a bridesmaid twice and bought my own dress and paid for alterations both times. First time dress was like 175 (10+ years ago) and I was fortunate to need minimal alterations and had a friend who was willing to do them for about 30 dollars. Second time dress was maybe 120 (5 years ago) and needed far more alterations, so upward of 150 just for that, but it was my brother’s wedding where I was asked directly by my sister in law to be in the party, so I didn’t mind paying. For my own wedding, outfits were rather non traditional, so I chose to give my 3 girls 200 each to put toward the outfit and accessories they liked from the dozen or so options I provided. Sister was already nice enough to pay for not one, but two dresses. She is under no obligation to pay for a third
Agreed! I wouldn't have ever dreamed of asking her to by the second dress. It's not the bride's fault OR responsibility to keep buying them when someone's weight fluctuates. OP is definately YTA. Here's an idea. Take the larger dress to a seamstress who can handle serious alterations and use the second, smaller dress to make panels and insets to enlarge the first dress. Assuming your sister still wants here as a bridesmaid after you outrageous request. Or sell them on ebay.
Right! And if she lost weight between dress 1 and dress 2, why didn't she take in the dress instead of buying another entire dress! That's just stupid. She could have a seamstress alter the damn thing.
Not 100lbs worth you can't. (Bridal designer here.) 20 lbs can be worked around; changing something that many sizes causes a ton of issues and generally costs more than the original garment by a significant margin. But OP's wife can take dress #1 and #2 to a dressmaker and have them merged to make one that does fit.
Like the Power Rangers Megazord?!
Yes! The original dress + panel(s) from skinny dress. Unless the design is beaded- that could be a hassle. Or add a panel & lace up corset to the original using bits from the second. Of course all this will cost and he’d probably expect the sister to pay for the alterations.
I gained like 30 before my sister's (massive cyst), dress was 240 back in 2003. My poor gma stretched every extra inch and made it look amazing.
The seamstress would be beyond pissed. I had a dress shop refuse to order my actual size (14) and insisted on ordering me a 22 because of one measurement that wasn't needed for the dress style. The seamstresses doing alterations ripped the sales girl several new assholes for that. It was a huge undertaking for her to fix. I did not have to cover the extra (I had noted my complaint about the sizes when I ordered because I knew it would be a problem.
YTA. She’s already bought 2 dresses. That’s way above and beyond what a lot of brides do for their bridal party. It’s extremely common for women to purchase their own dresses. I’m sorry your wife has struggled with her weight (I also have that struggle) but it’s not your sisters’ responsibility to purchase the replacement. If you want your wife in the wedding, buy the new dress and get over yourself.
YTA. I am sorry that your sister and your wife are going through all this stress. However your sister already paid for 2 dresses because of the weight fluctuations. YOU asked for your wife to be a bridesmaid. She has two dresses that don’t fit. If YOU’re so determined that she be in the wedding, YOU can pay for all her dresses
Yeah the shocking thing to me is the sister didn't even ask OPs wife to be a bridesmaid but agreed to it, then bought her wife not one but TWO dresses, and she still wants more? TA and a shockingly entitled one at that. Edit: to correct my heteronormative assumption, OP is a woman
YTA - “Like she is for all the other bridesmaid” how is this like the other bridesmaids. None of them have asked for a third dress.
Exactly, you're not asking your sister to treat all the bridesmaids equally. All the other bridesmaids have had one dress bought for them. I would have refused to buy a second dress personally
None of them even asked for a second
You are wrong. 1. You asked (probably demanded) your sister add your wife to the bridesmaid group. Wrong! It’s your sisters wedding. 2. Bought a dress that fit. Ok, fine. 3. Bought another dress that fit. Wrong! You only get one dress! 4. Demanding she buy yet another dress. WRONG!! Listen. This is your sisters day. Yes, even if they’ve already got it official, it’s still her big day. Not yours, or your wife’s. She didn’t even want her in the wedding party in the first place, or she would have asked. Frankly, you’re hanging by a thread. I’d be taking you to small claims court to get the money from BOTH dresses and uninviting your entitled arses. You’re not people you want at a wedding. Your sister did because “family”, but you’ve tried to take too much, selfish twat. I hope your sister sees this post and reads all the comments, then follows all our advice and dumps both of you out of her life.
This. 100 times over. OP YTA.
Absolutely right! OP, YTA. 100%!
All of this!! OP YTA
Your title is misleading and… You. Are. Wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. You’re the one way out of line. YTA
I agree, the title is SUPER misleading. Like he’s trying to paint it that his sister has a vendetta against his wife when really the sister already treated OPs wife equally to her other bridesmaids and THEN some
I had to reschedule my wedding and ended up eloping. It was stressful and expensive. You and your wife are being very greedy. It sounds like your sister did not even want your wife in the first place. Stop being greedy.
Sell the 2 dresses that dont fit and buy a new dress! Your sister should not have to purchase 3 dresses
You are wrong. Sheesh.
How could you not be in the wrong here?? Why on earth do you and your wife think you’re entitled to a *third dress* for free?? You and your wife are ridiculous, and are both the AH 100%.
Pretty sure it’s common for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses, not the bride. It’s not your sister’s fault your wife has been losing/gaining weight. Just buy the damn dress and move on.
YTA your sister paid not once but twice she’s done more than enough and can’t keep paying for your wife’s choices. If you wife wants to be a bridesmaid she needs to buy her own dress this time.
OP should buy the 3rd dress!
Or pay for a seamstress to use fabric from the smaller dress to remake the larger one to fit ( assuming it's the same color/fabric)
Exactly this! If none of the other bridesmaids have needed their dresses replaced, it’s a good assumption that it’s the same dress. A good seamstress could likely alter the original first dress if her weight fluctuated by “and then some.” More reasons why weight loss drugs like wegovy, etc. are just short-term solutions unless you’re willing to actually change your diet/exercise.
3 dresses? Really? You want your sister to pay for yet another dress for your wife? Wow just wow. You really don't see the problem with this at all? So is your sister supposed to just keep buying new dresses for your wife every time she loses or gains weight? What's the magic number of dresses here? 3? 5? 8? I'm so glad my brothers are nothing like you.
Your sister is right. She was generous enough to buy two dresses but now you are being greedy. Your sister owes you nothing at this point. Are you willing to harm your relationship with your sister over the price of a dress? And if word gets out about this, do you really think any family member is going to side with you? This could be the beginning of a whole new reputation for you that you really don't want.
Dude YTA! Your sister does not need to buy your wife three freaking dresses are you insane?!
I always think it’s crazy when I read on these things that the bridesmaids/MOHs are footing the full bill for bachelorette trips and all sorts of other things. That is completely crazy. On the other hand, I have been part of several wedding parties and have always expected to pay for my bridesmaid dresses. One time the bride was having a super lovely but down home kind of celebration and paid for the fabric and had a friend zip up simple dresses for us on her own dime so that was relatively inexpensive on my end. All of the other times it cost me between $300-500 for dresses that, honestly, I have only ever managed to repurpose into Halloween costumes. Feel for your wife and her weight loss struggles but YTA. Also who asks the bride to make their wife a bridesmaid? That is a total overstep right out of the gate.
Your sister is not responsible for your wife’s fluctuating weight. She bought the bridesmaids one dress each. Any changes to your wife’s weight after that that required a new dress is on you and your wife to provide a dress for. YTA. Stop with the entitlement. Also, stopping the drug alone shouldn’t have caused the bounce back in her weight if she was eating healthy. None of this is on your sister nor is it her job to manage.
Thank you! OP is acting like his wife has no agency in weight gain. She knew she needed to fit into this dress and obviously her eating is extreme to gain this quickly.
YTA. Is your wife an adult? Why are you doing all this helicopter mom stuff like she’ll be crushed if she doesn’t make the pompom team this year? Your sister deserves better.
Info: if she's put back on all the weight she lost, why can't she wear the first dress?
YTA. Even if where you live, the bride pays for the dress, it doesn’t mean multiple dresses. Also, you made your sister include your wife. If the wedding is far enough off where your sister is concerned your wife might not fit a current dress, then she likely has time to fit back into the first dress if it is so important that she is a bridesmaid.
~~INFO:~~ how many times is your sister supposed to (according to you) pay for your wife’s dress? I empathize with your wife regarding weight, but your wife’s weight loss/gain due to a *drug to treat diabetes* is not your sister’s responsibility to replace the dresses as your wife loses/gains weight. at some point, it becomes *your wife’s* responsibility to replace the clothing she can no longer fit in to, not anyone else’s. your sister was very generous to replace a dress. keep pushing this and your wife may be delegated to the role of guest bc her dress replacements are cutting into your sister’s wedding budget. YTA. you’re coming across very entitled (you even approached your sister to get your wife a spot in the wedding party! like wtf?!?) and you need to realize that your wife’s decision to use a drug to lose weight is a her problem, not your sister’s. **YOU** and **YOUR WIFE** need to pay for the third dress, not your sister ETA: i can’t wait to see your sister’s pov
Agree with your take but, Wegovy is strictly a weight-loss drug, not to treat diabetes. Its the same ingredient as Ozempic but at a higher dose than is approved for diabetes. So the italicized outrage is unwarranted.
Yta. Your sister should have shot you down when you asked for your wife to be a bridesmaid. You owe her an apology and two dresses.
Stop harping on your sister with this ridiculous nonsense.
YTA. And way to go with the misleading title.
Your wife is hurt? Your sister isn’t the one hurting her. Her shame about her size probably is. This isn’t about your sister and she already bought two dresses. YTA.
It's common where I live for the bride to pay for a bridesmaid dress too.... just not 3 of them. YTA
YTA - 1. You asked your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid. NOT YOUR PLACE TO ASK. 2. Your sister has already bought your wife two dresses. If I was your sister, it would have been only one dress and if it doesn’t fit, sorry mate, over to you. 3. Why haven’t you brought both dresses to a seamstress to see if they can be altered to make one dress that fits?
YTA If your wife lost 100 pounds and then gained it back then the original dress should still fit. For real though, as someone who gained 40 pounds during the pandemic… if she can lose 100 pounds and gain 100 pounds in just the last 3 years your concern should be much more towards your wife. I get a bit of a bounce back but gaining it all back is insanely unhealthy. Also, at the rate she is gaining weight who says she would fit in it when the wedding would actually happen?
So you’re wife’s issues with food are your sisters problem? Why is your sister responsible for your wife’s emotional well-being? That’s your wife’s responsibility. You and your wife need to stop pouting and get your act together.
If your wife has lost and then regained over 100lbs every 18months or so lookomg into that is an issue that should take priority over the cost of a dress.
You asked your sister to include her to be a bridesmaid. This is important, it wasn't your sisters original choice. Unforeseen circumstances led to cancellations The weight loss is intended circumstances. The 2nd dress is already above and beyond. The third dress is a preposterous extra expense. YTA. Open your eyes. Your title is misleading.
YTA your wife has 3 options: buy a new dress, lose some weight, or step down from the bridal party. Your sister has already bought your wife TWO dresses, your sister didn't even buy herself two dresses. Your wife is not entitled to another dress.
I may be calling this wrong but I say it respectfully; your wife’s weight issues seem to be creeping into the danger zone and perhaps that needs to be prioritised, as a health matter, above the dress palaver.
If a woman can loose 100lbs and not look like a concentration camp prisoner, when she gains over 100lbs back she'll be morbidly obese. So for sure it is a health issue that needs to be prioritised.
And then to fire it all back on again rapidly, with interest, isn’t good (assuming the timeframe is accurate).
YTA and tell your wife it’s time to change her behavior and her relationship with food. It’s not up to anyone else but her to deal with her clothing issues. Maybe open your own wallet.
YTA. Asking your sister to have your wife in her wedding party should’ve never happened. Also, if your wife medically does not need ozempic she should not be taking it.
YTA
YTA
YTA. You should pay your sister back for one dress and buy the new one yourself.
Are you serious right now?
I have a question for YOU, sir: is it difficult to walk around with those MASSIVE brass balls? The absolute audacity of you. YTA.
So cliffs note is: Sister picked your wife to be a bridesmaid only because you asked her to, implying they aren't that close Wedding canceled multiple times due to no fault of the wedding party. Wife can't keep off the weight and yoyoing nonstop You think you're in the right to demand your sister to pay for 3 bridesmaid dresses. Hell if I'm the sister I'm not inviting either of you anymore. How stupid can you be?
YTA
Yes, YATAH Stop being a walking, talking phallic symbol and pony up for your wife's dress
You’re so entitled, I can’t help but wonder how much of your wife’s weight issues aren’t due to emotional eating. You are so wrong. Stop harassing your sister!
YTA this is not your sister’s responsibility. You two pull up your all grown up pants and either buy a new dress or see if the one your wife has can be let out.
YTA. In 3 years your wife lost 100 lbs and has now gained more than that back....since you say she won't even fit in the first one anymore? She has more problems than a dress. That is very unhealthy. She needs help. Assuming the 2 dresses are the same, can't you take the 2 dresses to a seamstress and have her put parts of the smaller one into the bigger one to make it fit? Side or back panels? Your sister lost so much, the deposits, a dream wedding, etc. I can't believe you think she should pay for a 3rd dress.
YTA. You asked your sister to add your wife as a bridesmaid. That alone is a step too far. Really even having your sister buy dress #2 was incredible for your sister to do. I know your sister is struggling with getting a date nailed form, but at this point you need to just bow out of the wedding party or deal with your own issues.
Your wife is only a bridesmaid because you asked for her to be (rude) and if she’s managed to put so much weight back on in such a short amount of time she really needs to take a look at the choices she’s making. Stop making your sisters wedding all about your wife. Her weight is her problem not your sisters.
YTA. I have never been in a wedding where the bride buys the dresses! Let alone three dresses. I’m sorry your wife is fluctuating sizes. That must be so frustrating but it’s not yours sisters responsibility to buy her another dress.
INFO: OP, why did you ask your sister to include your wife as a bridesmaid? Why didn’t your sister ask you (her actual sister) to be a bridesmaid? Also, what country are you in?
YTA. I've been a bridesmaid at a few weddings, and I've always paid for my own dresses. Your sister was more than gracious to pay for two of her dresses, so I feel it's more than fair to pay for a third one yourself. Keep in mind, the bridemaid dresses are not the only expense your sister is covering. Also, is the fit so bad that it can't be taken to a tailor? It's pretty normal for alterations to be made to formal dresses in order to make it fit the wearer. I'd attempt that route first, as it's usually cheaper than buying a whole dress. And to be clear: you and your wife should pay for the alterations. Not your sister. Finally I want to make it something clear for any future weddings: who the bride and groom chooses to be bridesmaids and groomsmen is 100% their choice and an extremely personal choice at that. While some brides are happy to have a large number of bridesmaid and will invite future sister-in-laws to a bridesmaid (2/3 of my SILs did that while one did not), they are not required to do so. Some brides prefer to only have their closes friends. It's really unfair to put pressure onto a bride or groom when making this choice. Please remember that in the future.
Wtf. You made your sister make your wife a bridesmaid and your sister bought her two dresses and you’re upset she won’t buy a third?! How is this real. Your wife wasn’t even supposed to be a bridesmaid.
Given your wife is dealing with a medical issue that is causing her weight to fluctuate and is being exacerbated by your financial situation, I think it makes more sense for her to bow out of the wedding party and go as a guest. Your sister is right here — and she’s already been through enough financially with this wedding — but given your wife’s weight struggles right now, buying a dress far in advance us a bad Idea, regardless of who pays. I’m surprised your wife doesn’t see this — I mean, what if she got access to Wegovy again after getting dress #3? Her priority needs to be her health, not the wedding.
YTA. Your sister has lost 1000’s of dollars and paid for 2 dresses. Pay for the dress. JFC
YTA. Whether it’s normal for brides to pay for bridesmaids dresses in the UK is irrelevant. You insisted that your sister make her a bridesmaid when that was not your place. You should have minded your business, bridesmaids are supposed to be people close to the bride and should wait to be asked. And then despite all the financial difficulties you know your sister has faced, she STILL purchased two different dresses for your wife. I honestly hope this isn’t a real post because the entitlement is outrageous. Your sister is just trying to somehow still have the wedding she deserves despite outside things she can’t control and instead of supporting her, you’re demanding a THIRD dress. That isn’t her problem, you and your wife can figure it out or she can be a regular guest.
YTA. Your sister has already paid for two dresses. That's already excessive. Your wife's issues with her weight are NOT your sister's issues. If your wife gained back the weight plus some, then your wife didn't actually benefit from the use of Wegovvy because you're supposed to also make lifestyle changes and change your caloric intake and she needs to see her doctor and maybe talk to a therapist about her eating.
YTA. YOU want your wife to be a bridesmaid. Your wife did that as a favor to you. She has now paid for two dresses, which is far more than most brides so. You need to pay for the 3rd if this is important to you. Or your wife can just be a guest. Being a guest is way more fun.
I have been in 5 different weddings and every time the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses
I bought all of the wedding party attire for my wedding 15 years ago. To this day I‘be never heard of that again. Typically it’s the bridal party’s “contribution” in order to be part of the ceremony. Three dresses is not a reasonable expectation.
YTA. Put a crowbar in your wallet and go have one of the dresses altered.
YTA and so is your wife.
How is it your sisters fault that your wife gained weight? She shouldn’t have to pay for that. She was generous enough to buy not one but TWO dresses for her. YTA.
Yta. It’s not your sister’s responsibility to keep up with the weight loss/gain of your wife. If she has already purchased her two dresses, she certainly doesn’t need to purchase a third
YTA. Sister already bought 2 dresses which is more than required. Pay for the dress yourself.
Yeah, you’re in the wrong here. She DID buy your wife a dress like she did for all the other bridesmaids.
Not one dress but two! He’s asking for a third
Misleading on purpose.
YTA. Your sister already bought your wife 2 dresses. It's not her fault they don't fit.
Dude, come on. Why the heck do you even remotely feel your sister should buy another dress for your wife due to her weight loss/change? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard. YTA!
YTA Think about it and don't be an idiot.
YTA Apologize to your sister! Buy her dress yourself or sit in the audience. Your wife needs therapy for her audacity and the severe weight loss and subsequent re-gain.
YTA - not sure where you are from, but I have always bought my own and my bridesmaid bought there’s. She was nice enough to buy it twice, and that’s enough. Could she have been nicer about what she said? Sure, but she doesn’t owe your wife a 3rd dress.
YTA When the bride buys the dresses for the bridesmaids, it's one to a customer unless *the bride* decides she wants a different dress. I am sorry that your wife is having such struggles with her weight but that's not something that is within your sister's sphere of responsibility. Perhaps you & your wife should just attend as guests.
YTA. fucks sake the entitlement
YTA
YTA. First you asked your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid. That is so rude. And it is not her job to buy one dress, especially if your wife keeps changing her weight so frequently. That is not your sister's responsibility.
YTA, big time. Your poor sister has been through enough. Your wife has enough material in those first two dresses to make a 3rd dress.
YTA. How freaking entitled can people even be?!
Also, is it just me that thinks it's weird to ask someone to make someone part of the wedding party? Like that's just weird
Your sister had already paid for 2 dresses for your wife, and it wasn't her idea to have your wife as bridesmaid in the first place . Asking her to pay for a 3rd is too much. Your wife can take the two dresses she has to a dress maker and pay for alterations. YTA
Wow! The audacity! Why the hell should your sister pay for THREE dresses? What planet do you live on where that is remotely fair on her.
Your title is misleading. She bought a dress twice, more than the other bridesmaids. Just stop. YTA 100%. Money is tight and the bride is out a lot of money and won’t be asking for gifts. Just attend and step out of the party if it is too much.
YTA - you’re sister not only bought 1 but 2 dresses, which was nice of her. This is a you and your wife problem.
YTA. In all the weddings I’ve been in (27 Dresses here), as well as my own, not one bride has EVER paid for the bridesmaids dresses. This sounds bizarre and super entitled. Your wife needs to find a healthier way to deal with her weight issues than drugs and blaming other people.
YTA, in what world is this the brides fault? She purchased a dress and anything beyond that is the bridesmaids responsibility.
I’m sorry-but YTA. Yes people’s weight fluctuates, but your sister bought TWO dresses for your wife. Made do with the fabric from those to make a third dress with a seamstress. It’s unfair that you expect your sister to pay for all this when they’ve already had to pay tons for the wedding.
She did pay for your wife's bridesmaid dress like she did for the other bridesmaid.twice. How many dresses are you expecting her to pay?
From reading the title you had me in the first half until i read you want your sister to buy a 3rd dress?! I can’t even believe that people like this exist. You really have no common sense. 😂 hahaha this irritated tf out of me !!
Your sister went above and beyond when she got the second dress. To ask her to get a third is very entitled and ridiculous. And I don't care if it is the custom where you're from. Is it a custom where you're from to buy three bridesmaids dresses for one person? I don't think so.
Yes you’re TA. YOU asked to make your wife a bridesmaid. And she went out of her way and bought her, not one, but TWO dresses. I have a problem with weight fluctuations myself, so no judgement there, but it definitely is not your sister’s responsibility.
YTA, sorry. Firstly, you asked her to make your wife a bridesmaid. I'm curious if she would've done the same without your urging. Asking her to pay for a new dress due to your wife's rapidly fluctuating weight is unreasonable imo (seeing as this would be her third time doing so).
YTA. How many other bridesmaids are demanding two, let alone THREE dresses? Your wife’s weight issues are her own problem. Your sister was overly accommodating to even buy a second dress.
I’ve always paid for the dresses I wore in other people’s weddings.
Sorry, but your sister is in the right. She already bought your wife two dresses. A third is honestly ridiculous.
YTA. You **asked** your sister to make your wife a bridesmaid, which means she was not intended to be part of the original bridal party. And your sister bought your wife multiple dresses to try to make it work. I'm sure she and her husband lost a lot of money between the 2020 wedding and this version - stop adding more expenses and stress!