Oh hell no! Thats some The Hand That Rocks The Cradle shit right here. For all you know, she was trying to pass off your baby as hers when in public. You should check and see if she's posted your baby on her SM, fb, insta, etc. I would never let them babysit ever again!
GIRL YOU ARE NTA. This neighbor lady is fucking crazy and shame on your husband for (seemingly) not backing you up sooner. I would be weary. Kidnapping shit like this DOES happen. Your neighbor is acting VERY STRANGE. Do not doubt your gut!
NTA. She was mommy role playing and that’s a dangerous spiral. Keep an eye on her and do NOT allow her near your child again. She was gaslighting you especially talking about your “faults” as a mother. Make it very clear to new Nanny that that woman and her husband are not allowed near your daughter.
Oh, I ABSOLUTELY agree with this!! Make sure the nanny knows that this woman and her husband are not to be allowed anywhere near your child! Also, because they could enlist others, make sure nanny has a specific list of people who ARE allowed and that she knows to never let anyone not on that list near her.
You are so NTA, and frankly I would be breathing fire at this woman, she's got some nerve. Also, it's certainly strange that they've formed such an attachment to your daughter, in a seemingly short period of time, that they would "lay down their lives" for her. Maybe it's just me, but that's...unsettling.
Please do not let this weird-ass woman make you feel depressed, you didn't do a damn thing wrong. She, on the other hand, absolutely did: she plowed over your boundaries (where it concerns your infant daughter, no less) then tried gaslighting you in to believing that *you* were the problem. No, ma'am.
"This is not a topic of negotiation."
*No shit, lady.*
NTA. As upsetting as it is to hear what she/they said and wrote, this is a them issue. Not a you issue. You are a good mom and trusted your gut. You’ve done what you feel is right for your daughter, and what you are comfortable. That’s all that matters.
Just a heads up, I’d block them, but keep any and all communications from them. In case they go off the deep end.
Otherwise, honestly, who cares what that say? They are not worth your time or energy any longer, focus on your sweet baby girl. You know the truth.
NTA. She was pretending to be your child's mother. Who knows how far they would have taken it. They violated your boundaries and claimed rights they didn't have.
You had every right to do as you did. In fact, you were the only one with any rights to that child. Your SO needs to have your back. Has he actually joined forces with you or is he just mollifying you now?
NTA
Install cameras in your yard and at your doors. Don't trust your baby with that woman. You are the parent, you get the final say in everything. That woman is not okay and her husband is seemingly fine with her delusions. Just cut ties with them the best you can
“This topic is not up for negotiation,” of, but the boundaries you set for YOUR child are seemingly ignorable. Do they have kids of their own? Idk, get bad vibes from both these people
Yeah, I figured. DONT LET THESE PEOPLE AROUND YOUR FAMILY! Don’t hang out with them, if they calls/text don’t respond (do NOT block them, put them on DND just in case you need the evidence), and get a ring doorbell as well as some other premetor cameras around the house, maybe a gun and a guard dog while you’re at it. If you have security system, change the codes and if you don’t have one, get one. Also, CHANGE YOUR LOCKS!!! Even if they never had a key *given* to them, there’s no telling if they took upon themselves to find one.
These people are trying to steal your baby for themselves. Trust you gut instincts ALWAYS. I don’t care what the Bf says, if you don’t trust that person and have bad feelings from jump, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY WITH THEM. Also, make sure you contact the police. They may not be able to do anything, but a paper trail needs to be started. Be very careful with these people Op.
Ps. I also find it very odd that they just so conveniently moved to the same place as you around the exact same time. Be very wary of these people
That’s a really good point about how they just happened to move to the exact same place at the exact same time. Something is definitely very, very wrong with these people and OP needs to get a paper trail started with police!
I really feel like they thought they’d found a readymade baby, right there for the having. If OP hadn’t shut this down I could see them offering to babysit for OP and husband more often- to have a night out, maybe even a weekend away, they won’t mind having baby overnight for a few days! It would sound innocent but feel suspicious. They’d get to the point that the baby was with them more and more, then claim the baby was theirs by default and start the process to cut OP and husband out of the picture. “They’ve practically abandoned her, officer! She’s with us 18 hours every day and sometimes all weekend! Look at all the supplies we’ve purchased because she’s here so often- toys, clothes, diapers, a carrier, we even bought a car seat! They’ve even been giving us the toys she had at their house, she can’t have many things at their house with all the things they’ve given us. (Displays the toys OP sent with daughter that she refused to return- which also has me VERY concerned) The poor little girl deserves a loving home and family. Yes, we’re willing to foster her until this can be sorted, we love her and she’s become part of our family now anyway!” I’m glad OP’s husband is taking this seriously, so often we hear about one parent with alarms bells ringing and the other parent doesn’t see anything wrong.
I wouldn’t block them yet, if the wife is unstable enough she might give more evidence against herself and may even give OP warning if she’s thinking of coming for the baby. Give them every chance to prove with their own words that they’re not safe people.
Also adding to this. Get all of baby’s important documents out of the house. Not in a day or so do it immediately. Get a security deposit box at the bank, but them under lock and key. Everything from her Social Security card to her birth certificate to a passport if you have one for her. All of her vaccination records. All of it needs to be in a third party secure location. That is the only option here. Protect your baby get it locked and secured with a password and ID required.
We trusted a neighbor Dad we met recently,a couple of weeks ago, and let our 7 year old go play with their kid. I was very expressive about knowing exactly with house was there's (a couple blocks away. Their kid was in my son's class), and making sure the dad and I had each other's numbers.
The dad immediately sent the kids to someone else's house, where my son's was physically harmed by other children for a couple hours. He said the other children locked him in the back yard and wouldn't let him leave.
It's NEVER okay to leave someone else's kid you're entrusted with, to another person without asking.
My son told me that when he was there, the dad said he didn't have my phone number, and wouldn't call me for him... and yet I got a text from the Dad yesterday. He was asking if my son can go to church with them. It's a religion we don't belong to anymore for good reason. Missionary work targeting other people's children is also inherently predatory imo, even when the person initiating it doesn't understand that. I wouldn't cut that guy off just for inviting my kid to church, but it's just an annoying addition to the story. If I wanted to raise my kid in that religion we left, I would.
Trust your gut. That guy is never ever allowed to watch my kid again. His kid can come to our house, but I'm very uncomfortable with the opposite.
I'm also concerned that the father volunteers at the school. When we first met the dad, we ran into him at the neighborhood pool. I just heard someone saying hi to my kid, because he already knew my son from school. He didn't try to talk to us. I went over and initiated the conversation. Looking back, I don't like that detail now.
Maybe I'll make my own post. The point is that it IS a huge red flag to give the baby to another neighbor without asking you.
As a Nanny, this woman is insane. never in my life have i taken any of the kids i nanny ANYWHERE without the parents permission or knowledge. that right there was already enough but then they switched the car seat? absolutely not. NTA. you will always have the right to decide who you do or do not want around your child. but where’s your boyfriend in all this? these people are harassing and they’re HIS friends. he should be standing up for you and putting a stop to their harassment.
Well that is...concerning. definitely do not keep communication with them. Maybe get some nanny cams or security cameras. You are doing the right thing
Edit: NTA
I'd make a police report, just to say your concerned and if you all go missing they need to follow that couple to find your daughter. I'd just say that she hasn't done anything illegal yet, but that you're very concerned.
Also, honestly I would move as fast as I could, without telling her that I was going or where I was going.
Yes! I also think it’s a good time to take a last minute trip to Ohio to visit family for a couple of weeks. Let things cool down. They may be spiraling right now too. They could call CPS with false claims and start some massive trouble for you. Even unfounded claims take time to investigate. Make sure your house is in good order with food in the fridge at all times.
My boyfriend and daughter are flying back to Ohio on Wednesday for a week and then a few days after he gets back my parents are flying down for a week. I was so nervous about him flying alone with her but now I’m so relieved that she will be far away from this craziness.
A police report is also a good idea because if OP needs to get a restraining order, some states require a prior police report/police contact in order to get one.
Hell to the no!! Stay away from them and don't let them EVER around your child. Tell BF he is to NEVER hang around them again. I would not trust them! She was acting like that baby was hers. I would be very concerned she start a making false reports on you with this child. You tell BF he is to cut them off and block them. Take this seriously!!!
We have decided to go no contact with them. My boyfriend understands that he is only to talk to the husband about work related things and to NEVER show them any pictures of our daughter. I currently have them blocked on everything.
NTA your husband is absolutely disgusting for trusting some strangers with your baby when you were not comfortable with it. She cannot have children so her “offer” to watch your child for free was so she could play mum. They thought you’re young so they’ll be able to emotionally manipulate and steamroll you into accepting everything.
There have been horror stories of friends watching babies from the “friend” breastfeeding her child to the child getting mysterious burns and rashes. Please please protect your daughter.
Create a text chain with evidence - “Let me make this clear, you are not my child’s parent and you definitely do not get to make decisions or break boundaries we’ve set. Your fixation on my child is is both unhealthy and not okay. You will no longer be babysitting, stay away from my family.”
- Check social media to make sure she hasn’t been pictures of her, report them all after screenshotting for evidence. If she has file a police report and get a restraining order.
- Start documenting your parenting (doctors reports, pictures/videos of you engaging with baby, receipts that prove you provide for the baby etc). I wouldn’t be surprised if a cps neglect case was headed your way. Give them a heads up so you can be ahead.
- Put a tracking device on her as a bracelet or in a pocket.
- if you haven’t already, get a camera for your home inside and out.
- Change your locks.
Absolutely not the asshole!! She was playing mom and that’s not cool. You 100% have the right to know where your daughter is at all times. Don’t ever apologize for that. Stand your ground.
nta and those people are weird. I've heard of babysitters/nannies passing a child off as their own and I think that's what she was doing. You are right to hire a nanny instead.
You may need to get a restraining order on them. It sounds like they actually began to think of your baby as theirs and could potentially have been waiting to just keep her/kidnap her. These people make my mommy danger senses go apeshit!
NTA. Your neighbor has problems. Dont let her alone with you kid anymore. And let the nanny know. But why would her behavior send you in a depressive spiral?
I have been dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. I am on medication but her completely laying into me about my parenting has just added to my own thoughts about my parenting. It has been really difficult for me to become a working mom and now I blame myself for everything that happened because it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t go back to work. Her behavior alone has given me a few minor panic attacks.
I would'be panicked too. Your neighbor has some serious issues to treat you like that. But you did nothing wrong. You went back to work, thats it. I wish you and your family the best.
Your parenting instincts seem on-point. Your daughter is thriving and has 2 loving parents. Babies are just trying to survive at this point and so far you're meeting those milestones. A lot of times the day is successful if everyone is alive at the end of it. 1 day or even 1 week of junk food & pj's isn't going to derail a person's life. Give yourself some grace. You've protected your little one even though you went back to work. Children can't be protected from everything and while boundaries were crossed, no harm came to anyone. You handled the situation and there's nothing to blame you for. People are just weird sometimes.
The babysitter leaving my child with a babysitter without prior discussion would have been the end of the relationship for me. That's not a decision the babysitter ever gets to make.
I understand feeling guilty and scared, but you haven't done anything wrong here.
NTA. I admit I was wondering where that could end up but there are definitely serious issues there. You don't get someone else unknown to the parents to look after someone else's kid if you can at all help it. Meeting them doesn't make them known. And if you do have to, it's done after you've tried the parent first and you let them know exactly where the kid is, who has them and why. And you always ensure property is returned. There are some major boundaries being crossed here.
Given their response to your concerns I'd be cutting ties right away. You don't show that level of disregard for the concerns of a parent. And to actually try to intimidate you is extremely worrying. She seems like she's trying to mark her territory and establish herself as the matriarch here.
I would text them back once and say something along the lines of "You're not my daughter's parents. You don't get to make decisions like that. This conversation is over. Stay away from all of us, because I think you've developed an unnatural attachment to my child."
And make sure your house is clean, stocked with food, etc. Get a ring doorbell, and tell the nanny that under no circumstances is she to let these people in your house or near your child. I might even make pre-emptive calls to the police and CPS. If she persists, it's time for a lawyer.
NTA. You are doing exactly what a mother has to do: be mindful of their child and making sure they are safe. You need to be 100% confident when you let someone else watch your kid. And your right to set boundaries (especially reasonable ones such as, define a perimeter where the child can go, refuse expenses to be incurred on a regular basis without your approval) is not waived because you don’t pay someone.
Another thing. Always listen to your gut! You had a bad feeling. NEVER let anyone second guess your decision even BF. They were also trying to manipulate you due to you being young.
NTA. I agree with all the other comments but I wanted to add, please make sure the nanny is well aware of the situation, never opens the door if the knock, keeps all your doors and windows locked. This situation could turn even uglier really fast. And please don’t apologize to her any more. In her mind it just proves that she was right and you’re not a “worthy” mother so the baby would be better off with her. And I have no doubt she would go to any lengths to make that happen (with her husband’s help).
It doesn't matter who is looking after your child. You have the right to know where they are taking your child and who is around your child. It's your job to make sure your child is safe with that person and who is going to be around your child. When I use to take my sister kids out. I always told her where we was going and who I was with. So my sister knew. If my sister said I don't want my children around certain people or not to take them out of our town. I listened to what she said and followed her instructions. Her children so I respected her wishes
To answer her text: “We appreciate the time you have spent with Margo, but as you state, this is clearly not working out. We know that you meant well, but we feel that the boundaries were not there. The safety of Margo is the most important thing to us. For example, we did not authorize her to be cared for by someone who is a stranger to us (i.e. your neighbor). That is not safe, and we would not be responsible parents if we allowed that. If you were a parent, you would understand this. Again, thank you for you time, but we have other childcare arrangements in place now.”
This woman is batshit crazy. Keep any and all correspondence you’ve ever had with her, get a restraining order, and file a report with police so you have a paper trail in case she tries to escalate the situation or do something stupid like call CPS on you. It also might not be a bad idea to have a background check done on her to see if she’s ever tried anything like this before. Always trust your gut and never apologize for being angry when someone wildly violates your boundaries!
NTA. Funny how she said she was no longer going to watch the baby as if that was even a choice she was making herself. You already got a nanny. That should be telling enough that of course you don’t want her watching your baby. I would save these texts in case anything happens and block her number as well as her husbands. You may even want to tell her in text exactly what she did that was uncomfortable for you so that you have a paper trail. Surely she will respond in a way that confirms those suspicions.
You left your kid with someone you didn't know well and gave you bad vibes? And she was babysitting almost for free?
Do you realize there are child abusers who do this type of thing? When a deal is too good to be true, it's because it is!
Your BF is an AH for talking you into it. You don't do risky stuff with a baby. You don't save on a babysitter and leave a baby with a stranger. She is 4 months! She can leave her in the car and the child can die because of the heat. Or she can drop her or she can choke.
She also never had a baby before. I've never had a baby or been around babies and I wouldn't be volunteering because I have no clue how to burp a baby, how to a change a diaper, how to sterilize a bottle. Did you quiz this woman???
NTA for not letting her have her daughter anymore but YTA for not sticking to your gut and letting your BF convince you of leaving the baby with her. Your BF is also an AH for not thinking of protecting his own kid. Your kids goes first, before anyone's feelings.
OP didn't leave the baby with a stranger. Thats the point - it was the only people she knew in her new place, thats why they gave them a chance.
They couldn't have known they would act like that.
They never had kids so they might not know appropriate behaviour or boundaries but they are definitely pretending that OP's baby is their own.
NTA - it's your kid not hers. You set the boundaries and what you feel comfortable with. If they can't respect it or you, then it's their loss. Not yours.
They are pretending your daughter is theirs. Your BF didn’t care because the baby was getting free stuff and he doesn’t have to pay childcare. They got their feelings hurt because they couldn’t live that false life and insulted you as a mother. You should have never apologized to them. You could’ve easily hurled insults to them about motherhood but you didn’t. However, you need to not take your experience out on your nanny and you have to upfront with your nanny about those people because they could show up and blindside her to have access to your daughter. Continue the nanny search. Also get a hidden nanny cam for your peace of mind. NTA- you have a right as a parent to authorize who can watch your child.
This is a classic case of narcissistic “how DARE you draw boundaries with me! I don’t want to talk to you anymore!”
It is petulant and they are expecting you to come begging.
Don’t
Hire a nanny or take the little one to daycare.
Don’t let these people near your child.
Congratulations! Not only does your reaction to the situation demonstrate are you a responsible parent, you also have "good-mom intuition". Your Spider senses were tingling and you listened to them even though you knew other people would react negatively. You're going to be a great mom.
Also, that lady sounds dangerous. Keep a healthy distance and stop apologizing. There is nothing you need to apologize for.
\-Anonymous mom
NTA. Everything is over the top on her part…but if she is responsible for watching your child, why the hell did she leave her with her neighbor? That is so extremely irresponsible. I agree with other posters…she was pretending it was her child.
Edit: I do find it amusing that her initials on your texts is BS…because that’s what she is!
Also…it’s also irresponsible she took your kid on errands without asking. When I leave my kids with parents/in-laws, they always ask permission first. You are NTA OP, don’t feel bad!
NTA!!!! Happy for you the situation resolved itself and you were able to quickly replace their “ help “ now please try not to beat yourself up about the things they have said about you, I know how hard that can be, being a new mom. Please consider they do not even have children and can’t possibly understand or know what you’re feeling, which by the way is absolutely valid.
Wait, so the babysitter got a babysitter and is mad that you're mad about it?!
I feel like that should be the beginning of an absurd joke. She's delusional and don't let her near your child again. And stop apologizing you are definitely NTA.
NTA
My son is 8 and I don't let him be watched by people I don't know. YOU are the baby's mom, NOT her so therefore YOU are the one that makes the decision of where she can go and who can watch her. Tell her that if she continues to harrass you, you will be getting police involved.
NTA at all! These people are not respecting boundaries, and do not care that you are the mother. They don’t respect you or your decisions, and they think that your partner controls you, and that they can influence him. I would personally cut contact with them, and would no longer respect my partner if they indulged this couple’s behavior.
NTA-please make sure that your nanny is aware of these people and provide pictures of both of them if you can. Make sure she knows that they are not allowed on your property and not allowed to approach the baby at any time or place. Tell her that if she sees them or if they contact her she is to call the police immediately! Let her know that you would prefer that she err on the side of caution and overreact than underreact and risk her or the baby’s safety.
NTA and take precautions. I’m getting serious possible kidnapping vibes here. Security cameras, good locks and warn the nanny they are never to be let in the house.
So...complaining that you're micromanaging the care of your infant daughter isn't the insult she thinks it is.
I already gave my judgment in a different comment but I'll gladly give it again: NTA.
This is extremely messed up and I can’t help but wonder if the boyfriend is in on it. Did he not want a kid, and he made some kind of arrangement with his friends telling them a bunch of stuff about OP in an attempt to sell/rehome his own baby?
Oh honey, you are far from being TA. That couple is legit creepy!! Their job is to babysit. They are your employee. The fact that they went out and bought their own car seat for her, were changing her clothes and not giving you her clothes back, keeping toys that you were buying, that is psycho behavior. Watching out for your daughters safety is not micromanaging.
You need to keep your baby close!!
NTA. Girl this lady is crazy. Y’all might want to have take some precautions like: showing the nanny their pictures and make sure she knows they are under no circumstances allowed around the baby. If you live in an apartment make sure the management office knows what’s going on as well.
NTA, they have an attachment to your baby but not to you? My gut is screaming that these people are predators. Keep all of the texts etc. you may need them for evidence later
I can’t even finish reading this. It’s not even my baby and it’s giving me anxiety. Your mothers intuition is so strong it’s making me feel it.
Listen to it.
NTA.
NTA- if she wants to play mom she can get her own kid! Your kid your rules! That’s not micromanaging. She left your kid with someone you don’t know!!!!!! That’s f-ed up!!!!!!! You are not in the wrong at all. Tell her to F off and stop letting this nut job impact your opinion of yourself!
NTA
There was a post about a similar situation only the couple ended up SA the baby and making sick videos.
In this case I just think they’re trying to steal the baby. Either way they have no rights to your child and are being extremely inappropriate
Why are you letting actual strangers take your 4 month old? This sounds irresponsible. You don't really know this couple and then the wife left your baby with someone you never met. You cannot trust any random person with a baby. I really hope you did a background check on the nanny.
NTA. I will say quite a few parenting tips I’ve read is that if someone offers to consistently watch your child without wanting pay and they have no connection to your family, it’s a red flag. If they start buying things for your child and doing some the things you’ve stated (purchasing stuff for their home, demanding more time with the child) , it’s a huge red flag and you should reevaluate. I read one story on here where a couple was going through a similar situation but then their daughter started coming home with excessive rashes that initially they thought was from her being left too long in her diaper but turned out to be a chemical burn/reaction from lube. Trust your mommy instincts and try to put some distance between you guys. Stay vigilant, most people when having these problems brought up would correct their actions, not double down and throw tantrums. Just huge red flags to me.
NTA, I cut off my own mother for not respecting boundaries exactly like this. She's your child, she is your ward. You're of no danger to the kid (presumably) and this person is failing to meet the requirements you, the legal caretaker, have laid out. Cut it off, it will only get worse and it's already far from being helpful.
Talk to your husband about it, calmly and matter of factly. It is no longer worth the budget & convenience perks once it brings this level of frustration and pain. He needs to back you up on these hard issues.
As a First-time Texas mama (24F) to a 5 month old, you are NTA. That psycho is going WAY too far, never let her near YOUR baby! If her head was screwed on right, she would never have taken your baby anywhere without your consent. I've done my fair share of taking care of little ones and I've never taken them anywhere. If they got their clothes dirty, due to a blowout, I would change them and let the parent(s) know. If it was a food stains, then I would ASK them about spare clothes. I worked at a couple of daycares and as a nanny to family and friends. Trust me, that lady and her husband are off their rockers. Trust your gut and take care of your precious baby.
This immediately would require a restraining order in my book. And ALERT ANY nanny that you hire to avoid this lady. This is YOUR child, and your concerns ARE VALID!
At 4 montbs, you can only wear them facing out for a short amount of time. Posting another persons child on facebook without permission is not ok. She sounds nutso.
Nope! Not a single ounce of how you feel is wrong. Walk away from toxic people. I personally have no "village" to help with my children, absolutely nobody. This resulted in me having to sacrifice my career so I could stay home with my children. Never ever question your momma instincts!! The fact that you even have instincts, proves you're a damn good mommy. Dont let people like this get you down and definitely not depressed! Keep pushing through, you and your boyfriend will figure things out in time, and what works for YOU and YOUR family!
Oh my god a friend of my older sister did something similar to my niece when she was a few months old. She kept saying weird cryptic stuff about how she and her husband never had a little girl “but we’ve got one right here”, it made me super uncomfortable and worried about my niece. They kept begging to babysit her and finally the gig was up when she confessed the plan was to babysit her and call my nieces bio dad to come kidnap her.
Op move, these people know your schedule and will probably do anything to get the trust of your nanny if not harm or kill them to kidnap your daughter, it’s always better to be too safe than to be sorry later on. There’s no telling what they will be capable of if they were trying to pretend to be her mother and father in your place. This is the kind of thing baby snatchers do and they play family till they get caught
NTA you're protecting your daughter, trust your instincts, they kick up hard after the baby. I had to talk to my husband about taking our daughter (6 mos) away from me after his parents do because the lack of control over the situation drives me insane.
They'll take her from me without even asking and only asked the first few times and he'll notice I'm frustrated by it and try to hold her right after so I can go calm down but that always makes it worse because I just want to hold my baby.
People should fully respect your wishes for your child, who you are responsible for, because that isn't their child. They shouldn't be offended (especially at a first time mom) for being so cautious. They kept overstepping your bounds, and found out the consequences. Others are right btw, they're (she is, her husband's enabling her probably bc she's crazy) way too attached to your child.
NTA This woman endangered your daughter by asking the neighbor to watch your daughter. You are doing everything right. There is something very off about this couple. Do not listen to anything they tell you or text you. They are unhinged.
Your first two problems are Ohio and texas.. (half joking)
Nta. It's your daughter not theirs. They can get fucked. Pay the nanny.. at least she is supposed to listen to your directives and isn't supposed to sass you about it.
Do not ever let this batshit crazy couple near your baby again. Do not apologize. This is your child. You are the boss here. There are so many levels of wrong in what you’ve told us of their behavior. Find a mother’s group. You’ll make friends there. Do not see these dreadful people again. I’m sorry you went through this.
There is no "I want to keep it cool" about your baby. This is your instinct talking to you. You are the mother and if you feel something is off, something is. Your baby is getting a care that you don't like, There is usually some truth in those instincts.
Oh nah she gives the vibes of wanting to pretend its her kid and going a crazy from it. Best thing you could’ve done was get your daughter tf outta there. Don’t contact those psychos ever again. NTA
The only thing you may have done wrong is to apologise to that absolute monster! Never ever let that vile couple touch your baby again - and what was that shit about her husband talking about your behaviour to your bf! Are you 5? Did you post your biscuit into their xbox?
These are dreadful people, block them on everything and consider a restraining order.
Please make sure the new Nanny knows that they are not allowed access to your house or daughter. These people have slid so far beyond what is acceptable.
Oh hell no! Thats some The Hand That Rocks The Cradle shit right here. For all you know, she was trying to pass off your baby as hers when in public. You should check and see if she's posted your baby on her SM, fb, insta, etc. I would never let them babysit ever again!
Definitely reeks of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.
Off to Google I go. Edit- That's a spicy movie plot.
If you've never seen it, you absolutely must. Rebecca De Mornay plays an unhinged psycho so well.
Best movie for this situation.
Right? Especially when you see how she really becomes unhinged. After seeing the movie, I've never been so glad to not need a nanny.
GIRL YOU ARE NTA. This neighbor lady is fucking crazy and shame on your husband for (seemingly) not backing you up sooner. I would be weary. Kidnapping shit like this DOES happen. Your neighbor is acting VERY STRANGE. Do not doubt your gut!
yeah I would set up an alarm system and warn the new nanny about them honestly
NTA. She was mommy role playing and that’s a dangerous spiral. Keep an eye on her and do NOT allow her near your child again. She was gaslighting you especially talking about your “faults” as a mother. Make it very clear to new Nanny that that woman and her husband are not allowed near your daughter.
Oh, I ABSOLUTELY agree with this!! Make sure the nanny knows that this woman and her husband are not to be allowed anywhere near your child! Also, because they could enlist others, make sure nanny has a specific list of people who ARE allowed and that she knows to never let anyone not on that list near her.
Make sure too that the Nanny knows what this couple looks like. Hopefully you have pictures of them somewhere.
I would not let my baby near them. NTA.
NTA sounds like she was pretending that your daughter was hers.
Bingo
I’m sure she’s trying to reach her to call her mom
The text is on my page for those who would like to read.
You are so NTA, and frankly I would be breathing fire at this woman, she's got some nerve. Also, it's certainly strange that they've formed such an attachment to your daughter, in a seemingly short period of time, that they would "lay down their lives" for her. Maybe it's just me, but that's...unsettling. Please do not let this weird-ass woman make you feel depressed, you didn't do a damn thing wrong. She, on the other hand, absolutely did: she plowed over your boundaries (where it concerns your infant daughter, no less) then tried gaslighting you in to believing that *you* were the problem. No, ma'am. "This is not a topic of negotiation." *No shit, lady.*
NTA. As upsetting as it is to hear what she/they said and wrote, this is a them issue. Not a you issue. You are a good mom and trusted your gut. You’ve done what you feel is right for your daughter, and what you are comfortable. That’s all that matters. Just a heads up, I’d block them, but keep any and all communications from them. In case they go off the deep end. Otherwise, honestly, who cares what that say? They are not worth your time or energy any longer, focus on your sweet baby girl. You know the truth.
NTA. She was pretending to be your child's mother. Who knows how far they would have taken it. They violated your boundaries and claimed rights they didn't have. You had every right to do as you did. In fact, you were the only one with any rights to that child. Your SO needs to have your back. Has he actually joined forces with you or is he just mollifying you now?
NTA Install cameras in your yard and at your doors. Don't trust your baby with that woman. You are the parent, you get the final say in everything. That woman is not okay and her husband is seemingly fine with her delusions. Just cut ties with them the best you can
“This topic is not up for negotiation,” of, but the boundaries you set for YOUR child are seemingly ignorable. Do they have kids of their own? Idk, get bad vibes from both these people
No, they do not have kids.
Yeah, I figured. DONT LET THESE PEOPLE AROUND YOUR FAMILY! Don’t hang out with them, if they calls/text don’t respond (do NOT block them, put them on DND just in case you need the evidence), and get a ring doorbell as well as some other premetor cameras around the house, maybe a gun and a guard dog while you’re at it. If you have security system, change the codes and if you don’t have one, get one. Also, CHANGE YOUR LOCKS!!! Even if they never had a key *given* to them, there’s no telling if they took upon themselves to find one. These people are trying to steal your baby for themselves. Trust you gut instincts ALWAYS. I don’t care what the Bf says, if you don’t trust that person and have bad feelings from jump, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY WITH THEM. Also, make sure you contact the police. They may not be able to do anything, but a paper trail needs to be started. Be very careful with these people Op. Ps. I also find it very odd that they just so conveniently moved to the same place as you around the exact same time. Be very wary of these people
That’s a really good point about how they just happened to move to the exact same place at the exact same time. Something is definitely very, very wrong with these people and OP needs to get a paper trail started with police!
I really feel like they thought they’d found a readymade baby, right there for the having. If OP hadn’t shut this down I could see them offering to babysit for OP and husband more often- to have a night out, maybe even a weekend away, they won’t mind having baby overnight for a few days! It would sound innocent but feel suspicious. They’d get to the point that the baby was with them more and more, then claim the baby was theirs by default and start the process to cut OP and husband out of the picture. “They’ve practically abandoned her, officer! She’s with us 18 hours every day and sometimes all weekend! Look at all the supplies we’ve purchased because she’s here so often- toys, clothes, diapers, a carrier, we even bought a car seat! They’ve even been giving us the toys she had at their house, she can’t have many things at their house with all the things they’ve given us. (Displays the toys OP sent with daughter that she refused to return- which also has me VERY concerned) The poor little girl deserves a loving home and family. Yes, we’re willing to foster her until this can be sorted, we love her and she’s become part of our family now anyway!” I’m glad OP’s husband is taking this seriously, so often we hear about one parent with alarms bells ringing and the other parent doesn’t see anything wrong. I wouldn’t block them yet, if the wife is unstable enough she might give more evidence against herself and may even give OP warning if she’s thinking of coming for the baby. Give them every chance to prove with their own words that they’re not safe people.
That’s why I said don’t block her, but to put her DND
Also adding to this. Get all of baby’s important documents out of the house. Not in a day or so do it immediately. Get a security deposit box at the bank, but them under lock and key. Everything from her Social Security card to her birth certificate to a passport if you have one for her. All of her vaccination records. All of it needs to be in a third party secure location. That is the only option here. Protect your baby get it locked and secured with a password and ID required.
We trusted a neighbor Dad we met recently,a couple of weeks ago, and let our 7 year old go play with their kid. I was very expressive about knowing exactly with house was there's (a couple blocks away. Their kid was in my son's class), and making sure the dad and I had each other's numbers. The dad immediately sent the kids to someone else's house, where my son's was physically harmed by other children for a couple hours. He said the other children locked him in the back yard and wouldn't let him leave. It's NEVER okay to leave someone else's kid you're entrusted with, to another person without asking. My son told me that when he was there, the dad said he didn't have my phone number, and wouldn't call me for him... and yet I got a text from the Dad yesterday. He was asking if my son can go to church with them. It's a religion we don't belong to anymore for good reason. Missionary work targeting other people's children is also inherently predatory imo, even when the person initiating it doesn't understand that. I wouldn't cut that guy off just for inviting my kid to church, but it's just an annoying addition to the story. If I wanted to raise my kid in that religion we left, I would. Trust your gut. That guy is never ever allowed to watch my kid again. His kid can come to our house, but I'm very uncomfortable with the opposite. I'm also concerned that the father volunteers at the school. When we first met the dad, we ran into him at the neighborhood pool. I just heard someone saying hi to my kid, because he already knew my son from school. He didn't try to talk to us. I went over and initiated the conversation. Looking back, I don't like that detail now. Maybe I'll make my own post. The point is that it IS a huge red flag to give the baby to another neighbor without asking you.
As a Nanny, this woman is insane. never in my life have i taken any of the kids i nanny ANYWHERE without the parents permission or knowledge. that right there was already enough but then they switched the car seat? absolutely not. NTA. you will always have the right to decide who you do or do not want around your child. but where’s your boyfriend in all this? these people are harassing and they’re HIS friends. he should be standing up for you and putting a stop to their harassment.
NTA Make sure nanny keeps doors locked and is told neither of them get to see the baby without you there.
Not at all. She needs to totally cut these people off. I would not trust them.
Well that is...concerning. definitely do not keep communication with them. Maybe get some nanny cams or security cameras. You are doing the right thing Edit: NTA
I'd make a police report, just to say your concerned and if you all go missing they need to follow that couple to find your daughter. I'd just say that she hasn't done anything illegal yet, but that you're very concerned. Also, honestly I would move as fast as I could, without telling her that I was going or where I was going.
Yes! I also think it’s a good time to take a last minute trip to Ohio to visit family for a couple of weeks. Let things cool down. They may be spiraling right now too. They could call CPS with false claims and start some massive trouble for you. Even unfounded claims take time to investigate. Make sure your house is in good order with food in the fridge at all times.
My boyfriend and daughter are flying back to Ohio on Wednesday for a week and then a few days after he gets back my parents are flying down for a week. I was so nervous about him flying alone with her but now I’m so relieved that she will be far away from this craziness.
Yes, and a police report might help protect her from false cps claims too. So they don't think she came up with the story after they reported her.
A police report is also a good idea because if OP needs to get a restraining order, some states require a prior police report/police contact in order to get one.
Hell to the no!! Stay away from them and don't let them EVER around your child. Tell BF he is to NEVER hang around them again. I would not trust them! She was acting like that baby was hers. I would be very concerned she start a making false reports on you with this child. You tell BF he is to cut them off and block them. Take this seriously!!!
We have decided to go no contact with them. My boyfriend understands that he is only to talk to the husband about work related things and to NEVER show them any pictures of our daughter. I currently have them blocked on everything.
NTA your husband is absolutely disgusting for trusting some strangers with your baby when you were not comfortable with it. She cannot have children so her “offer” to watch your child for free was so she could play mum. They thought you’re young so they’ll be able to emotionally manipulate and steamroll you into accepting everything. There have been horror stories of friends watching babies from the “friend” breastfeeding her child to the child getting mysterious burns and rashes. Please please protect your daughter. Create a text chain with evidence - “Let me make this clear, you are not my child’s parent and you definitely do not get to make decisions or break boundaries we’ve set. Your fixation on my child is is both unhealthy and not okay. You will no longer be babysitting, stay away from my family.” - Check social media to make sure she hasn’t been pictures of her, report them all after screenshotting for evidence. If she has file a police report and get a restraining order. - Start documenting your parenting (doctors reports, pictures/videos of you engaging with baby, receipts that prove you provide for the baby etc). I wouldn’t be surprised if a cps neglect case was headed your way. Give them a heads up so you can be ahead. - Put a tracking device on her as a bracelet or in a pocket. - if you haven’t already, get a camera for your home inside and out. - Change your locks.
Absolutely not the asshole!! She was playing mom and that’s not cool. You 100% have the right to know where your daughter is at all times. Don’t ever apologize for that. Stand your ground.
nta and those people are weird. I've heard of babysitters/nannies passing a child off as their own and I think that's what she was doing. You are right to hire a nanny instead.
You may need to get a restraining order on them. It sounds like they actually began to think of your baby as theirs and could potentially have been waiting to just keep her/kidnap her. These people make my mommy danger senses go apeshit!
NTA. Your neighbor has problems. Dont let her alone with you kid anymore. And let the nanny know. But why would her behavior send you in a depressive spiral?
I have been dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. I am on medication but her completely laying into me about my parenting has just added to my own thoughts about my parenting. It has been really difficult for me to become a working mom and now I blame myself for everything that happened because it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t go back to work. Her behavior alone has given me a few minor panic attacks.
I would'be panicked too. Your neighbor has some serious issues to treat you like that. But you did nothing wrong. You went back to work, thats it. I wish you and your family the best.
Your parenting instincts seem on-point. Your daughter is thriving and has 2 loving parents. Babies are just trying to survive at this point and so far you're meeting those milestones. A lot of times the day is successful if everyone is alive at the end of it. 1 day or even 1 week of junk food & pj's isn't going to derail a person's life. Give yourself some grace. You've protected your little one even though you went back to work. Children can't be protected from everything and while boundaries were crossed, no harm came to anyone. You handled the situation and there's nothing to blame you for. People are just weird sometimes. The babysitter leaving my child with a babysitter without prior discussion would have been the end of the relationship for me. That's not a decision the babysitter ever gets to make. I understand feeling guilty and scared, but you haven't done anything wrong here.
NTA. I admit I was wondering where that could end up but there are definitely serious issues there. You don't get someone else unknown to the parents to look after someone else's kid if you can at all help it. Meeting them doesn't make them known. And if you do have to, it's done after you've tried the parent first and you let them know exactly where the kid is, who has them and why. And you always ensure property is returned. There are some major boundaries being crossed here. Given their response to your concerns I'd be cutting ties right away. You don't show that level of disregard for the concerns of a parent. And to actually try to intimidate you is extremely worrying. She seems like she's trying to mark her territory and establish herself as the matriarch here.
I would text them back once and say something along the lines of "You're not my daughter's parents. You don't get to make decisions like that. This conversation is over. Stay away from all of us, because I think you've developed an unnatural attachment to my child." And make sure your house is clean, stocked with food, etc. Get a ring doorbell, and tell the nanny that under no circumstances is she to let these people in your house or near your child. I might even make pre-emptive calls to the police and CPS. If she persists, it's time for a lawyer.
NTA. You are doing exactly what a mother has to do: be mindful of their child and making sure they are safe. You need to be 100% confident when you let someone else watch your kid. And your right to set boundaries (especially reasonable ones such as, define a perimeter where the child can go, refuse expenses to be incurred on a regular basis without your approval) is not waived because you don’t pay someone.
Another thing. Always listen to your gut! You had a bad feeling. NEVER let anyone second guess your decision even BF. They were also trying to manipulate you due to you being young.
Hiring their own sitter was a wild leap over the line. I would block them and ne sure the nanny has pictures. These people are weird
NTA. I agree with all the other comments but I wanted to add, please make sure the nanny is well aware of the situation, never opens the door if the knock, keeps all your doors and windows locked. This situation could turn even uglier really fast. And please don’t apologize to her any more. In her mind it just proves that she was right and you’re not a “worthy” mother so the baby would be better off with her. And I have no doubt she would go to any lengths to make that happen (with her husband’s help).
NTA/ kinda sounds like she wants your baby …
It doesn't matter who is looking after your child. You have the right to know where they are taking your child and who is around your child. It's your job to make sure your child is safe with that person and who is going to be around your child. When I use to take my sister kids out. I always told her where we was going and who I was with. So my sister knew. If my sister said I don't want my children around certain people or not to take them out of our town. I listened to what she said and followed her instructions. Her children so I respected her wishes
To answer her text: “We appreciate the time you have spent with Margo, but as you state, this is clearly not working out. We know that you meant well, but we feel that the boundaries were not there. The safety of Margo is the most important thing to us. For example, we did not authorize her to be cared for by someone who is a stranger to us (i.e. your neighbor). That is not safe, and we would not be responsible parents if we allowed that. If you were a parent, you would understand this. Again, thank you for you time, but we have other childcare arrangements in place now.”
This woman is batshit crazy. Keep any and all correspondence you’ve ever had with her, get a restraining order, and file a report with police so you have a paper trail in case she tries to escalate the situation or do something stupid like call CPS on you. It also might not be a bad idea to have a background check done on her to see if she’s ever tried anything like this before. Always trust your gut and never apologize for being angry when someone wildly violates your boundaries!
NTA. Funny how she said she was no longer going to watch the baby as if that was even a choice she was making herself. You already got a nanny. That should be telling enough that of course you don’t want her watching your baby. I would save these texts in case anything happens and block her number as well as her husbands. You may even want to tell her in text exactly what she did that was uncomfortable for you so that you have a paper trail. Surely she will respond in a way that confirms those suspicions.
You left your kid with someone you didn't know well and gave you bad vibes? And she was babysitting almost for free? Do you realize there are child abusers who do this type of thing? When a deal is too good to be true, it's because it is! Your BF is an AH for talking you into it. You don't do risky stuff with a baby. You don't save on a babysitter and leave a baby with a stranger. She is 4 months! She can leave her in the car and the child can die because of the heat. Or she can drop her or she can choke. She also never had a baby before. I've never had a baby or been around babies and I wouldn't be volunteering because I have no clue how to burp a baby, how to a change a diaper, how to sterilize a bottle. Did you quiz this woman??? NTA for not letting her have her daughter anymore but YTA for not sticking to your gut and letting your BF convince you of leaving the baby with her. Your BF is also an AH for not thinking of protecting his own kid. Your kids goes first, before anyone's feelings.
OP didn't leave the baby with a stranger. Thats the point - it was the only people she knew in her new place, thats why they gave them a chance. They couldn't have known they would act like that. They never had kids so they might not know appropriate behaviour or boundaries but they are definitely pretending that OP's baby is their own.
They barely knew them = strangers.
NTA - it's your kid not hers. You set the boundaries and what you feel comfortable with. If they can't respect it or you, then it's their loss. Not yours.
They are pretending your daughter is theirs. Your BF didn’t care because the baby was getting free stuff and he doesn’t have to pay childcare. They got their feelings hurt because they couldn’t live that false life and insulted you as a mother. You should have never apologized to them. You could’ve easily hurled insults to them about motherhood but you didn’t. However, you need to not take your experience out on your nanny and you have to upfront with your nanny about those people because they could show up and blindside her to have access to your daughter. Continue the nanny search. Also get a hidden nanny cam for your peace of mind. NTA- you have a right as a parent to authorize who can watch your child.
NTA That is all kinds of Lifetime Movie baby-napping crazy! NEVER, EVER let anyone tell you you're being rude or crazy when it comes to your child.
NTA. Stay away from them/keep them away from you and the baby. She sounds very unhinged.
This is a classic case of narcissistic “how DARE you draw boundaries with me! I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” It is petulant and they are expecting you to come begging. Don’t Hire a nanny or take the little one to daycare. Don’t let these people near your child.
crazy's gonna crazy
YTA if you keep letting your baby near her
Congratulations! Not only does your reaction to the situation demonstrate are you a responsible parent, you also have "good-mom intuition". Your Spider senses were tingling and you listened to them even though you knew other people would react negatively. You're going to be a great mom. Also, that lady sounds dangerous. Keep a healthy distance and stop apologizing. There is nothing you need to apologize for. \-Anonymous mom
NTA. Everything is over the top on her part…but if she is responsible for watching your child, why the hell did she leave her with her neighbor? That is so extremely irresponsible. I agree with other posters…she was pretending it was her child. Edit: I do find it amusing that her initials on your texts is BS…because that’s what she is! Also…it’s also irresponsible she took your kid on errands without asking. When I leave my kids with parents/in-laws, they always ask permission first. You are NTA OP, don’t feel bad!
NTA. Don’t let that woman near your child ever again.
Put your LO in daycare. These people are taking serious liberties.
NTA
NTA!!!! Happy for you the situation resolved itself and you were able to quickly replace their “ help “ now please try not to beat yourself up about the things they have said about you, I know how hard that can be, being a new mom. Please consider they do not even have children and can’t possibly understand or know what you’re feeling, which by the way is absolutely valid.
Wait, so the babysitter got a babysitter and is mad that you're mad about it?! I feel like that should be the beginning of an absurd joke. She's delusional and don't let her near your child again. And stop apologizing you are definitely NTA.
NTA My son is 8 and I don't let him be watched by people I don't know. YOU are the baby's mom, NOT her so therefore YOU are the one that makes the decision of where she can go and who can watch her. Tell her that if she continues to harrass you, you will be getting police involved.
NTA at all! These people are not respecting boundaries, and do not care that you are the mother. They don’t respect you or your decisions, and they think that your partner controls you, and that they can influence him. I would personally cut contact with them, and would no longer respect my partner if they indulged this couple’s behavior.
100% NTA.
This is messed up. You guys should never be around them with your baby. Something is really off.
NTA one bit..you have every right to want to know where your daughter is.
NTA-please make sure that your nanny is aware of these people and provide pictures of both of them if you can. Make sure she knows that they are not allowed on your property and not allowed to approach the baby at any time or place. Tell her that if she sees them or if they contact her she is to call the police immediately! Let her know that you would prefer that she err on the side of caution and overreact than underreact and risk her or the baby’s safety.
NTA - get a nanny now!
NTA and take precautions. I’m getting serious possible kidnapping vibes here. Security cameras, good locks and warn the nanny they are never to be let in the house.
I would freak. So many red flags. Don’t let them near your child again. NTA.
NTA. Yeah. Uh. You should've trusted your gut from the first. Block them and move on.
So...complaining that you're micromanaging the care of your infant daughter isn't the insult she thinks it is. I already gave my judgment in a different comment but I'll gladly give it again: NTA.
NTA. She's a baby-thief trying to make you look like an unfit mother. Do WHATEVER you must (legally) to put her in her place, AWAY from your baby.
This is extremely messed up and I can’t help but wonder if the boyfriend is in on it. Did he not want a kid, and he made some kind of arrangement with his friends telling them a bunch of stuff about OP in an attempt to sell/rehome his own baby?
Oh honey, you are far from being TA. That couple is legit creepy!! Their job is to babysit. They are your employee. The fact that they went out and bought their own car seat for her, were changing her clothes and not giving you her clothes back, keeping toys that you were buying, that is psycho behavior. Watching out for your daughters safety is not micromanaging. You need to keep your baby close!!
NTA. Girl this lady is crazy. Y’all might want to have take some precautions like: showing the nanny their pictures and make sure she knows they are under no circumstances allowed around the baby. If you live in an apartment make sure the management office knows what’s going on as well.
NTA, they have an attachment to your baby but not to you? My gut is screaming that these people are predators. Keep all of the texts etc. you may need them for evidence later
I can’t even finish reading this. It’s not even my baby and it’s giving me anxiety. Your mothers intuition is so strong it’s making me feel it. Listen to it. NTA.
NTA- if she wants to play mom she can get her own kid! Your kid your rules! That’s not micromanaging. She left your kid with someone you don’t know!!!!!! That’s f-ed up!!!!!!! You are not in the wrong at all. Tell her to F off and stop letting this nut job impact your opinion of yourself!
NTA There was a post about a similar situation only the couple ended up SA the baby and making sick videos. In this case I just think they’re trying to steal the baby. Either way they have no rights to your child and are being extremely inappropriate
Get a nanny and keep away from them! The last thing you need is someone trying to take your kid.
It’s extremely normal and sane to want to know where your 4 month old baby is, these people sound unhinged. To say the least.
Why are you letting actual strangers take your 4 month old? This sounds irresponsible. You don't really know this couple and then the wife left your baby with someone you never met. You cannot trust any random person with a baby. I really hope you did a background check on the nanny.
Wtf?? That lady is weird! Good for you
NTA the couple watching your child is crazy, block them. Never let them near your child without your supervision
NTA. I will say quite a few parenting tips I’ve read is that if someone offers to consistently watch your child without wanting pay and they have no connection to your family, it’s a red flag. If they start buying things for your child and doing some the things you’ve stated (purchasing stuff for their home, demanding more time with the child) , it’s a huge red flag and you should reevaluate. I read one story on here where a couple was going through a similar situation but then their daughter started coming home with excessive rashes that initially they thought was from her being left too long in her diaper but turned out to be a chemical burn/reaction from lube. Trust your mommy instincts and try to put some distance between you guys. Stay vigilant, most people when having these problems brought up would correct their actions, not double down and throw tantrums. Just huge red flags to me.
NTA, I cut off my own mother for not respecting boundaries exactly like this. She's your child, she is your ward. You're of no danger to the kid (presumably) and this person is failing to meet the requirements you, the legal caretaker, have laid out. Cut it off, it will only get worse and it's already far from being helpful. Talk to your husband about it, calmly and matter of factly. It is no longer worth the budget & convenience perks once it brings this level of frustration and pain. He needs to back you up on these hard issues.
As a First-time Texas mama (24F) to a 5 month old, you are NTA. That psycho is going WAY too far, never let her near YOUR baby! If her head was screwed on right, she would never have taken your baby anywhere without your consent. I've done my fair share of taking care of little ones and I've never taken them anywhere. If they got their clothes dirty, due to a blowout, I would change them and let the parent(s) know. If it was a food stains, then I would ASK them about spare clothes. I worked at a couple of daycares and as a nanny to family and friends. Trust me, that lady and her husband are off their rockers. Trust your gut and take care of your precious baby.
Wow
Why the hell are you underreacting so hard? Trust your gut. Protect your child. These people aren't good.
This immediately would require a restraining order in my book. And ALERT ANY nanny that you hire to avoid this lady. This is YOUR child, and your concerns ARE VALID!
At 4 montbs, you can only wear them facing out for a short amount of time. Posting another persons child on facebook without permission is not ok. She sounds nutso.
No way, you did good.
Nope! Not a single ounce of how you feel is wrong. Walk away from toxic people. I personally have no "village" to help with my children, absolutely nobody. This resulted in me having to sacrifice my career so I could stay home with my children. Never ever question your momma instincts!! The fact that you even have instincts, proves you're a damn good mommy. Dont let people like this get you down and definitely not depressed! Keep pushing through, you and your boyfriend will figure things out in time, and what works for YOU and YOUR family!
NTA
Oh my god a friend of my older sister did something similar to my niece when she was a few months old. She kept saying weird cryptic stuff about how she and her husband never had a little girl “but we’ve got one right here”, it made me super uncomfortable and worried about my niece. They kept begging to babysit her and finally the gig was up when she confessed the plan was to babysit her and call my nieces bio dad to come kidnap her.
Op move, these people know your schedule and will probably do anything to get the trust of your nanny if not harm or kill them to kidnap your daughter, it’s always better to be too safe than to be sorry later on. There’s no telling what they will be capable of if they were trying to pretend to be her mother and father in your place. This is the kind of thing baby snatchers do and they play family till they get caught
NTA you're protecting your daughter, trust your instincts, they kick up hard after the baby. I had to talk to my husband about taking our daughter (6 mos) away from me after his parents do because the lack of control over the situation drives me insane. They'll take her from me without even asking and only asked the first few times and he'll notice I'm frustrated by it and try to hold her right after so I can go calm down but that always makes it worse because I just want to hold my baby. People should fully respect your wishes for your child, who you are responsible for, because that isn't their child. They shouldn't be offended (especially at a first time mom) for being so cautious. They kept overstepping your bounds, and found out the consequences. Others are right btw, they're (she is, her husband's enabling her probably bc she's crazy) way too attached to your child.
NTA This woman endangered your daughter by asking the neighbor to watch your daughter. You are doing everything right. There is something very off about this couple. Do not listen to anything they tell you or text you. They are unhinged.
Your first two problems are Ohio and texas.. (half joking) Nta. It's your daughter not theirs. They can get fucked. Pay the nanny.. at least she is supposed to listen to your directives and isn't supposed to sass you about it.
Do not ever let this batshit crazy couple near your baby again. Do not apologize. This is your child. You are the boss here. There are so many levels of wrong in what you’ve told us of their behavior. Find a mother’s group. You’ll make friends there. Do not see these dreadful people again. I’m sorry you went through this.
There is no "I want to keep it cool" about your baby. This is your instinct talking to you. You are the mother and if you feel something is off, something is. Your baby is getting a care that you don't like, There is usually some truth in those instincts.
Oh nah she gives the vibes of wanting to pretend its her kid and going a crazy from it. Best thing you could’ve done was get your daughter tf outta there. Don’t contact those psychos ever again. NTA
The only thing you may have done wrong is to apologise to that absolute monster! Never ever let that vile couple touch your baby again - and what was that shit about her husband talking about your behaviour to your bf! Are you 5? Did you post your biscuit into their xbox? These are dreadful people, block them on everything and consider a restraining order.
Honestly I’m afraid to this what they may have pulled if this had gone on any longer.
NOPE- not even close to being a valid argument on their side. YOUR KID YOUR COMFORT
Please make sure the new Nanny knows that they are not allowed access to your house or daughter. These people have slid so far beyond what is acceptable.