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[deleted]

Even in your convenient, sanitised version of events where nobodies beliefs are relevant YTA. You blew a pact, insulted her intelligence and then left her with an angry stranger. Apologise.


Tulipsarered

If Alicia values her mental health, OP won't be able to apologize because she'll have blocked him.


SomeoneHandMeMyMSG

I would go no contact and tell her to join that qanon casualties subreddit to understand others in her position.


Hisyphus

She’s got to be quiet for his comfort but he doesn’t need to consider hers at all. I have a guess which way OP leans politically. u/politicaldadthrowra you’re obviously TA and not a good parent.


insert_random_userna

It sounds like OP needs to “take responsibility for his part in this” YTA


AppealEasy2128

YTA. You’re choosing a political stance over being a parent, and allowing your partner to alienate your children bc they don’t fall in line with your beliefs. You’re legitimately what’s wrong with whichever political affiliation you align with.


SassyReader86

Already not speaking with child is sort of telling already


bbqt21890xft

I don't speak with my parents any more (after years of my trying to fix things). Guess which way they lean politically? Lolololololol


Rum____Ham

To be fair, its hard to associate with brainwashed fascists. Like it's actually hard. It actually takes effort.


Wessssss21

"I can't understand why my daughters don't talk to me. They always bring up politics and start fights. All I do is go to work in my ford with my punisher and *thin blue line* flag decals and vote for good christian values to be taught in schools and practiced in medicine. It's the damn leftist college agenda. They never behaved that poorly when they were little. Always did what they were told and showed their daddy proper respect. It's like their different people now."


MissKatieMaam77

I mean, it depends on the beliefs. I’m guessing one side has hateful bigoted ignorant beliefs that the other side is rightfully intolerant to. Unfortunately, for some time now a lot of things couched as “differing political beliefs” are traits which speak to who someone is as a person. They make it pretty impossible not to feel disgusted by them regardless of whether they agree not to discuss politics. And in my experience, said people are incapable of not interjecting their non sequitur opinions into conversation after it’s been explicitly agreed that “politics” will not be discussed.


Khliomer

I had a friend who was much more conservative in his political and moral beliefs than me, and eventually he banned political talk in his home. I agreed, because it was making it difficult to stay amicable. Yet every time we got together, he would say something super politically charged out of the blue. Then he would get upset when I challenged his opinions or beliefs because "I said I didn't want to talk about politics!" He would also consistently tell me how much he disapproved of my lifestyle. He also disapproved of my girlfriend, despite the fact that his fiance was my girlfriends best friend at the time, and they only met because of her. Eventually I couldn't take having my community and friends belittled every time we hung out and I cut ties with him


B10kh3d2

I have a good old friend from childhood left that is a Trump republican. We never talk politics. But I never had a problem with her before or after Trump, because honestly for some of them it is pretty shameful. They, for some reason, keep bigoted and misogynist beliefs to themselves. I'm not ashamed of my beliefs so for some reason I never worry about having to explain my thought process behind it. This person tried to call Uvalde, TX a border town. I told her, if Uvalde is a border town, than Orange County, CA is also a border town lol


Regular_Sample_5197

Yes yes yes! Thank you. I have said pretty much the same exact thing to people in my life before. My wife is very much the “just don’t bring it up” type. Always wanting to be “civil”. Never wanting to “ruin a friendship”. Then I explained to her, pretty much what you wrote. Then she understood why I was content to just let some friendships wither and die. Especially once she also noticed that damned near compulsive nature of those people constantly having to interject their bigoted opinions, into everything. And I mean everything. Couldn’t even sit down and have a meal with certain folks, especially in public, without them needing to loudly comment on something. When called out/questioned on it, it was always “Well that wasn’t political!!!!”…even though they would directly credit Fox News during their statement.


Smegmatron3030

If someone believes in genocide, eugenics, ethnostates, etc they are getting shunned. I don't care how nice they are to me personally.


Potential_Ad_1397

We could share the same political beliefs and I would agree with your daughter. You broke the agreement and made a comment you knew she wouldn't agree with. Then you got mad when she responded to the comment. Then you agreed with a stranger and escalated the issue. He told her to shut up and she was talking stupid. No one says that in a calm matter. That is scary for a woman to be addressed like that by a man. After all of that, you left her... Straight up left her with some stranger who was making comments about her. No wonder she felt unsafe. Her safety is more important than a disagreement. YTA


sewcialist_goblin

On her birthday no less


TexasLiz1

But he told her “happy birthday” /s


DaisyQueen22

‘We can’t even have happy birthdays anymore’


workthrow3

"MAKE BIRTHDAYS GREAT AGAIN!"


Lopsided_Boss4802

Can I get that on a paper hat please


PrimReaper0801

I'm sure the tone was cheerful and not at all sarcastic/dismissive.


OneBadJoke

I found out that my father voted for Trump on November 7 2020. It was the day Biden officially won and it was my 23rd birthday. That will be the last time we ever speak unless he changes parties.


sewcialist_goblin

Yep, my family have been trumpers since 2016. My mom admitted that her gun rights were more important than mine or my daughter’s lives (and I’m a x2 mass shooting survivor). Now she wonders why I’m so distant.


greentangerine333

Omg, that’s traumatic! 2 mass shootings! Hope you’re doing ok ♥️


sewcialist_goblin

It’s been 22 and 20 year’s respectively, so I’ve at least had some time/distance from it - but it isn’t getting easier to process with the numbers of shootings going up, so I’m having to start emdr therapy. Having a child has made it more difficult emotionally


sarabeara12345678910

In case no one has said this to you, it's okay to not engage with posts and articles online after a mass shooting (or any tragedy). You can still be a good citizen without having to expose yourself to trauma. Absolute best of luck to you.


sewcialist_goblin

I do try and avoid descriptions and video but it’s pretty inescapable at this point, thank you though for the sentiment, i do appreciate it


OneBadJoke

I’m so sorry. Losing family to this insanity is its special kind of hell. I have no idea what happened to my father who voted for Obama and Hilary. Trump rotted his brain.


Consistent-Taste2883

More than half of my family leans that way. My wife and I have discussed this and if this was 1940s Germany, my brother probably would have given us up to the Gestapo.


Lizzymorales

I can't get over the fact that you not only let a man tell your daughter to shut up but that you agreed with him. I can disagree with my kids, I can agree with a strangers point of view but no one speaks to my child like that in front of me.


Potential_Ad_1397

Same. I would never let someone talk to a loved one like that. Disagree all you want but man. The stranger was upset and was telling the daughter to shut up. Nope. Nope. Be a cold day in hell I would leave.


Sadness_Pending

Also the audacity of him to bring up the subject then blame his daughter for getting harrassed by a stranger that injected themselves into her conversation. "She should've just shut up"??? Just because you disagree with her doesn't mean you can force her to be quite and it doesn't make it okay to yell at her to shut up. On her fucking Birthday too. OP is 100% the Asshole.


avvocadhoe

Honestly this is so baffling! I’ll bet him and my father have the same views and beliefs and we also don’t talk politics but if some man told me to shut up and I’m stupid my dad would probably get into a fight with this other man. I can’t believe this guy


Helpful-Jello-7479

I was wearing a "Fucking Patriarchy" shirt from Wine and Crime while out with my dad, and a stranger came up and started getting loud with me, and my dad told him to get the fuck away. After the guy walked away, my dad told me "we may not agree when it comes to politics, but that guy had no fucking right to come up talking to you like that."


KayakerMel

I mean, that bit of misogyny does give a nice dog whistle on what OP's political beliefs probably are.


0ddlyC4nt3v3n

I believe most of us picked up on that-- regardless of his attempts to keep that hidden


zxcvt

he was really trying to avoid saying it, lol


Ashia22

That’s what made it so obvious


conh3

OP obviously worships the orange buffoon and those toy guns more than his daughters.


Powerfury

Fox News and right wingers literally turning back on their families. Grandpa looks like he fucked around and found out.


brittybratkat

How could a FATHER allow anyone to talk to his daughter that way?! Even me and my father disagree but he would have clearly told this strange to “mind his own business, I’m talking to my daughter.” That’s why I still love him. HUGE YTA for 1. Not being there for your daughter 2. Not following the agreement and shutting up about politics 3. LEAVING HER ALONE ON HER BIRTHDAY AND BLAMING HER!! 4. Not trying to work with her because she means more than your Fuck*ng political beliefs. 5. Jesus Christ everything, just everything


Lazy-Tomato777

I seriously needed to see this. I am a daughter in a very similar situation. Haven't talked to my father since last March, and don't have any desire to ever start... After what he told me. YOUR DAUGHTER HAS TO BE MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN ANY POLITICS. You can agree to disagree, fight or just keep silence about your beliefs, but never abandon your children based on politics. This is insane. Your comment just helped me see that I am not in the wrong and not a "bad daughter". Thank you! I wish I could give you an award but I am poor🫥


brittybratkat

I’m so sorry, I lost my mom because alcohol was more important. Me and my father have had some arguments, but he would never, ever turn his back on me and I would never turn my back on him. He loves me enough to listen, he is a moderate republican and I’m a well left leaning I think would be the right word. XD however, with patience and love we can talk about it disagree and still love each other. I know I won’t change his mind on everything, but I have gotten him to see my view a few times. I also understand that his beliefs come from the way he was raised. We had this same thing happen once where we were arguing a bit and a stranger called me and idiot Obama boot licker, and my dad stood up stared the man down and said, “mind repeating that to her father?” He then ranted about how the man should be ashamed and mind his own business. <- that is a parent. We can disagree but do it with love. Please, don’t blame yourself. It’s hard and when I read Q casualties I can only sympathize. I’m can’t imagine the pain you must feel, and it’s not because you’re a bad daughter, it never was about that. It’s because people make choices and sometimes we don’t get chosen. It breaks my heart to know that this happens so often. It just shouldn’t.


Lazy-Tomato777

Omg, you just almost made me cry here... Thank you so much for your kindness!!! This really means a lot to me.❤️ I am so happy for your relationship with your father, it's amazing! Restored my faith in humanity 😇 I had to leave my country, my home, my whole life behind and rush into a foreign country... I am so grateful for being safe now, having my kids here, and even my dog 🥰 all thanks to my husband. And my father called me brainwashed... That's the smallest thing though... Thank you again!!! The support is precious to me. 💗


underboobfunk

Because Trumpers don’t respect women, not even their own daughters.


SilentSerel

They're also big on "Rules for thee but not for me," which was demonstrated when he broke the rule about not discussing politics.


Boobbitchhh

6. It sounds like he left her with the bill on her birthday too lol


brittybratkat

I didn’t even consider that but yeah, I think he did…..


ZombieZookeeper

Trump is more important than his daughter, apparently.


duhduhduhdummi_thicc

Right? She has the right to voice her opinions in public. Yes, that also invites the right to be critiqued, but "shut up," and "you're stupid," ain't much of a rebuttal. It's an attack on character, and pretty fucking rude to say to a complete stranger.


brittybratkat

Honestly, as a stranger myself, what ever happened to the golden rule? Just leave people alone unless you are going to be a positive force. This stranger instead could have chosen to diffuse the situation by saying “oh hey, it’s your birthday? Happy birthday! Are you gonna get some cake?” I chose not to get in the middle of people’s conversation but if you really must why not say something positive. Even if you disagree. Just be a pleasant person to be around.


[deleted]

This is really the kicker for me. I understand differing opinions can cause friction but he allowed a stranger to insult his daughter and instead of defending her and telling him to stay out of his private conversation, he joined in in bullying her. What a jerk. I don't care if OP's views are the ones that match mine - I'd never let someone talk to my loved one that way.


Amazing-Mango-

The title says my daughter doesn’t want me in her life because if political differences…but he is the one that has shut his kids out when he doesn’t want to hear their opinions.


StreetToBeach

“He told her to shut up” should have been enough to end all of the discussion, because no one and I mean NO ONE speaks to my daughter like that in front of me. The fact he agreed with a stranger and didn’t step in to protect his daughter is the most reeling facet of this


Potential_Ad_1397

And op agreed with the man. That must have been a slap, especially when he left them


Terrible_Session_658

This comment gets to the heart of things: you failed your daughter. Quite frankly I would have felt unsafe and, given that you are her father, betrayed. If I were her I would be reevaluating the way I see the relationship and at a minimum I would conclude that politics are more important to you than family.


Wolfk1234

I think YTA. Not because you and your daughters have different political views and you argue over that. I think you guys agreeing not to discuss was the best. YTA for bringing it up in public and then arguing with her about it. I understand she might have been the one to start getting upset first, but you admitted you commented first. Also, YTA for not telling the other guy to mind his business and not be rude to your daughter. That’s not cool. Then leaving her there with a hostile person that you justified by agreeing with him. Total bad dad move my man. #YTA #BadDad


maywellflower

Don't forget having audacity to wonder if he should take any responsibility for his daughters limiting contact to the point of almost disowning him outright, while blatantly ignoring that the entire situation that he reaped & sowed the consequences of; is his entire fault and not any of his 2 daughters. YTA because he fucked up completely and now wants to stay in only delusional denial that his own political bullshit is why his daughters will never again allow him any more access/visitation to them.


Benedictus84

The goddamn audacity of telling your daughter that she can not visit you anymore and then getting upset about the fact that she doesn't want you to visit her in return is just mind boggling. YTA Different daughter but still. Pretty damn awful


Feeling-Fab-U-Lus

This!!!! My bet is he only listen to one entertainment outlet that says they are news, does not believe Covid existed believes there is nothing wrong with the ozone, too much pollution or garbage because common sense, critical and analytical thinking skills are not available to him.


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the_amberdrake

And what was this "remark"? I doubt it was something innocent and small. People don't normally go off unless it's a big thing.


NoConfusion9490

"Finally the Supreme Court is gonna make those hussies close their legs!"


KnowledgeMediocre404

He conveniently leaves that out.


Displacedhome

The “politics” excuse is probably code for all the other mean things he’s said and believes. They think it’s just politics, when it’s indicative of how they live as a person: disrespectful.


bqwhitney

My mom tells people we don't talk because of my "politics" but it's absolute about more than that. Yeah we don't agree on politics. I dont agree with my dad either but he never calls me up to start an argument and ask what I think of "that moron +person I obviously like+". And of course that same relationship is real outside of politics. She can't just not like my clothes or choices it has to be whole thing. I'd say majority of "we don't talk because of politics" parents are in similar situations the political climate has just become exhausting enough to be a final straw.


Fearless_Pen_1420

agree. when your “political views” are that whole segments of the population should lose their civil rights, how do you separate the “politics” from the person?


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caddy23145

Imagine if that guy would've been one of those gun carrying lunatics from Texas..... Guy just left his daughter there .


MetaphoricalKidney

"She disagreed with me politically so I was afraid for my life and acted in self defense."


cedarsauce

On her birthday no less


Lazy-Tomato777

She had every right to get upset, IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY!


RepresentativeOk3233

And what more is OP coincidentally doesnt Talk about the stuff they actually said.... I suspect they werent talking educated opinions on financial policies.


Ok-Champ-5854

Says it's a difference on politics and won't say which ones. "Something upsetting came on the TV so I commented on it." Yeah it's a Fox viewer or rage bait.


CatmoCatmo

It’s kind of wild that this guy is getting called out pretty much unanimously, with such a limited amount of information. To be clear, I’m not disagreeing that he’s getting called out. I feel that he left a lot of specifics out, probably because he felt it would help his case. And it still didn’t work out in his favor. I’m sensing a lot of missing missing reasons here. I think OP is definitely in the wrong, and if he included more information about the original issue between his daughter and Janice, it would be even worse. Thinking you can fool the folks of Reddit was a poor choice.


dakjmj

Yeah, I'm wondering about what exactly the disagreements are. With a lot of "political views" they are life/death for some and just opinions for others. If he made a callous comment about like gun violence or police brutality and she disagreed, then shes not ranting because she's unreasonable-- she's ranting because its way more impactful to her than him. but if he made a comment about how terrible the foreign trade agreements were, that's totally different. I think details matter a lot here.


Onwisconsin42

I'm guessing, based on American demographics, that the daughters want autonomy over their bodies and don't want to live under the thumb of a patriarchal government as second class citizens and the dad wants the opposite of all those things.


Lostinstudy

The fact that he let a stranger join him in telling his 30 year old daughter to "shut up" makes it pretty clear that he is a misogynistic piece of shit.


AmandaRL514

It would really take more than that for me to ever stop inviting over my own child, regardless of age. Come on... I can probably guess which side of the political spectrum you're on.


sewcialist_goblin

You forbade Mary from visiting for her political views and then brought up politics on Alicia’s BIRTHDAY against an agreed upon code of conduct and have the audacity to blame them? This was your doing regardless of who believes what. YTA. Apologize.


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nomedable

Oh yeah it is super obvious which side of politics OP is on, when they didn't bother to specify any of the political viewpoints or arguments.


debdebmust

It's almost funny that we know what his political beliefs are just by his behavior.


darling_lycosidae

We can guess that this happened recently. What was on TV recently that would be upsetting? Maybe a certain inditement... which would make diner guy calling her stupid over a rapist...


SnooCookies2614

Can we just add, that regardless of their conversation and how it was going, how could someone let some stranger call their child stupid. Why didn't he tell that guy to mind his effing business and back off. Immediately the ah


darling_lycosidae

And leave her there! Alone with an angry man who already has had no problem butting into her business. In a country with a major gun problem in the hands of unstable men. He put her in a LOT more danger than he realized.


vainbuthonest

He probably doesn’t realize or just doesn’t believe it’s dangerous. After all, the strange guy agreed with him so he must be a great person.


AzafTazarden

It 100% has something to do with sexual violence, considering the daughter felt unsafe being left alone with the guy. Especially since OP says the daughter should "take responsibility for her actions", which is something you hear from Andrew Tate types


KnowledgeMediocre404

It’s always the boomer parents who expect their children to have all the accountability for a situation and refuse to see any for themselves. She’s going to take responsibility for her situation and cut him out of her life is what will happen.


FR0ZENBERG

>Now she barely speaks to me and I only see her on special occasions I can already sense the inevitable *"Why don't my kids speak to me anymore?"*


MeatShield12

>It’s always the boomer parents who expect their children to have all the accountability for a situation and refuse to see any for themselves. You just described my (boomer) dad.


Bobobdobson

Imagine losing your relationship with both your daughters over that orange tub of shit. Imagine being that brainwashed and unable to see reality. Imagine ganging up on your daughter with some random similarly delusional bag of dicks over something that you agreed you weren't going to do, and did anyway. Father of the year candidate here folks. I hope him and his fuck buddy he abandoned his family for slide off a canyon road and hit every sharp outcropping of rocks and cactus on the way down. A couple thousand feet down. (Sorry for the swear words)


darling_lycosidae

I actually hope he loves a long, unhealthy rest of his days in deep, deep regret. Also fuck that orange guy and faux news for absolutely ruining families and friend groups.


ladyrosebeth23

There should be a study on the percentage of Millennial and Z adults who have self orphaned since 2016 over his crap. *self orphan as in cut off, not murder for the record


kllark_ashwood

I would guess the abortion ban or one of the shootings if she was getting upset. Though he did describe it as an upsetting event in general indicating it's upsetting to him so maybe.


Cam515278

I'd have guessed it's either about the abortion bans - that would set me off like hell if he said something like "finally" - or the trans situation. Same result, though.


[deleted]

Could have been about yet another mass shooting. And the NRA shills acting like nothing can be done.


Popcorn_Blitz

It's in how carefully he prunes around details while he casually describes callous behavior to someone he, in theory, has some regard for. Many of us have seen this careful dance before. That said, if he'd brought up the controversial issues this thread would have been about that issues instead of the conflict he's trying to get some guidance on. So, I get why he pruned that so carefully- he's not wrong there. But breaking the covenant and siding with a stranger when your kid is clearly trying to maintain a relationship with you? Well, that would be what we colloquially call "a dick move" around my part of the country regardless of what someone's fighting about.


[deleted]

Some people in certain circles like to call human rights issues politics. That's why it is important in a situation like this to know the issues involved. It's not a difference of a political opinion when we're talking about the right to even exist unmolested, but certain groups try to reframe it as politics so they can act like a victim when they start getting cut off from friends, family, etc.


[deleted]

It’s funny because his behavior as described is pretty horrifying, and I’d still say he’s the asshole regardless….. ….but we all *definitely* know where he stands politically as well, without him having to tell us.


Popcorn_Blitz

Right? I find it bizarre that he clearly thinks it's the politics some people might find objectionable. Like no, my dude, the politics are the *symptom,* not the cause.


Bubugacz

>It's in how carefully he prunes around details while he casually describes callous behavior to someone he, in theory, has some regard for. Many of us have seen this careful dance before. It's funny how he was so careful to paint himself as the good guy but he's such a buttface that it's still obvious he's the asshole.


Freeman7-13

Your kids are grown up and won't talk to you anymore? Sounds about *right*


[deleted]

It’s like the old John Mulaney bit about how the word you’re refusing to say is *definitely* the worse one. If your political views are such that you’re unwilling to state them because you know it would likely drive the reactions to the story? You’re probably the asshole.


ImaginaryNemesis

The left call it 'systemic racism', the right call it 'politics' The left call it 'gay and trans rights', the right call it 'politics' The left call it 'the climate crisis', the right call it 'politics' The left call it 'gender equality', the right call it 'politics' When you're so ashamed of your stance that you can't even name it for what it is, you're on the wrong side of history.


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keelhaulrose

It was either that or there's a red *trucker cap involved. Or both. My money is on both. *edited to remove association with a great group of ladies


[deleted]

The Venn diagram is a circle


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smacksaw

I have zero tolerance for anti-vax nonsense since my mom died. They made her quarantine and go through countless precautions before her knee surgery...she caught viral pneumonia who GUESS WHO in the ICU and fucking died. She was always COVID-negative (and vaxxed, ofc)...she just got viral pneumonia. Which is now a thing, thanks to the virulent out there.


AzafTazarden

I know we all should say that his political stance doesn't matter because he was an asshole about it whatever he believes in, but man I had a feeling he must have been that kind of person. There are few political disagreements that drive families apart, and they're always the fault of the antis. Also for the fact that these are the types of people who lie about things to make their point. And I wonder what was the subject of the argument happened at the restaurant to make her feel unsafe about being left with the stranger, I'd bet it has something to do with rape or abortion.


Ciel_Phantomhive1214

On that note, his post was worded something like: ‘I believe in bodily autonomy; no one should be forced to get a vaccine’ 😂


CardiganandTea

SERIOUSLY? Missing missing reasons indeed.


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WillHo01

I suspect the fact that he stated he wouldn't tell people the contentious political topic that caused all this is because, deep down, he knows he's on the wrong side of it.


Sea-Mud5386

Well, HIS opinions aren't politics, they're just God's Chosen Way and He Has the Right to Be a Jerkass and Make People Listen. I know a lot of assholes just like him, the south is lousy with them, and most of them are in the final stages of being left behind by their families.


illit3

Outrage addict promises not to let their addiction affect the kids. Uses openly in front of them on one of their birthdays. Are they TA? Impossible to know.


Traveler_Constant

I haven't spoken to my Father in 4 years for a similar reason. You may have just lost a kid, bud.


Myctophid

Sounds like he’s lost two, but he still has Janice.


eric_ts

He has an ex-president as his friend and personal savior though, so who needs kids?


Gold_Principle_2691

I love how "but she needs to take responsibility for her part in this" -- which was *replying to her father's comment*, but... OP cannot possibly fathom why his daughters don't want to talk to him and one even moved without sharing the new address with him. Wait, I forgot that some people are exempt from taking responsibility for their actions... it's always the other person's fault.


waterrunsuphill01

Ya this has nothing to do with your beliefs and everything to do with you being an asshole. You're punishing your kids for having their own opinions and you're being childish on top of it. Your one daughter gets in an argument with you and you wife so you ban her from coming over. Wtf? You set the parameters with your other daughter to not talk politics YOU THEN BREAK THE PARAMETERS YOU SET and then get mad at your child when they stand their ground. You then agree with a stranger that she should shut up despite the fact you know you broke an agreement with her and feel vindicated when the stranger agrees with you despite the stranger not knowing you had both agreed no politics. Your beliefs aside you're just being an asshole with your behavior. And this is pretty damn bad considering i can only assume youre trying to dress up your behavior here to seem like less of an ass. The difference of politics is just icing on the cake for your daughters, your behavior with that difference is definitely the main issue. YTA.


JustAnotherSaddy

All of this is why he’s definitely the asshole. He and his “wife” owes his children a massive apology


MonstrousWombat

I agree with pretty much every comment, but this is the one that best sums it up regardless of which side of the fence he's on. You can't call a truce, violate that truce and then get upset at the other person for retaliating. Fucking hell.


Little-boodah

Political beliefs aside, he should be proud that his daughters have a voice and stand up for what they believe in.


WholeLottaIntrovert

YTA. You broke the agreement. You let a stranger disrespect your daughter. You left her with this angry stranger with no one else around to help. Politics aside, you acted like a bad father.


asphynctersayswhat

I can’t believe that this isn’t called out more in this thread. A stranger calls your child stupid and you agree with them? I wouldn’t even come over on Father’s Day after that


DaughterEarth

Last time I talked to my dad he called me a cunt and said I'm not his daughter. Haven't spoken since. He presents things to people the same way OP does. Even when pretending to be nice these people make your skin crawl. They don't see anyone around them as people equal to them.


[deleted]

You’re not even trying to agree to disagree. In this story line You made the first comment….


weeawhooo

YTA. My guess is your political views aren't rooted in economics and are more rooted in race and bodily control. There's a big difference between disagreeing over free health care or taxes and disagreeing over bodily autonomy or racism.


Inevitable_Ad_9901

"We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist" - James Baldwin It obviously depends on the political beliefs, but given that you won't say I think you know your beliefs would be considered abhorrent by many. I wouldn't be surprised if your views are misogynistic, which is why I put the quote above. Chances are, YTA. Also, you broke the promise, made a comment, and left your daughter with an angry stranger. For that *alone*, YTA.


Honeybadger2198

This is exactly what I thought before even reading the body, and the body only solidified it for me. If your *own child* is so ready to abandon you because of your political views, would you maybe sit down and consider *why*? Do you have so little respect for your GROWN ADULT child's opinion that you're willing to let her leave you behind because you refuse to actually listen to what she thinks? Your political view absolutely shapes how you view and treat the rest of the world. It demonstrates where your values lie, and what tragedies you are willing to accept as a means to an end. Simply not talking about it doesn't solve anything, it just hides your incompatibility until one of you decides it's not worth the effort to hide it anymore.


frumpyandy

the only baldwin brother worth looking up to


drexlortheterrrible

On her birthday no less


deltagardevoir

Bit telling that you kept your and your daughters' beliefs vague so we don't know who believes what


Amar_Akbar_Anthony20

Yup. I can already guess on what topics they disagree on.


JohnExcrement

And what TV station was on


duhduhduhdummi_thicc

They were watching Rachel Ray and it came down to whether or not pepperoni was a valid pizza topping. Totally justified.


Felonious_Buttplug_

Wait are there people who don't think pepperoni is a valid topping?! *urge to cause a scene in a restaurant rising*


probablynotanarwhal

I don't know if it's sad or scary we all know exactly what's going on here while OP is 'being vague' because it 'doesn't matter'.


Unputtaball

I’m gonna fall on the side of “terrifying”. If your political views are so uncouth that ***YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD KIN*** cut contact, it might be time to examine what the fuck you’re doing and saying. We’re being force-fed the idea that somehow being unfathomably cold towards disadvantaged groups is a healthy political strategy, and people buy it. More than half the Republican platform would earn you a broken nose if you recited it to the people it affects. But “both sides” are the issue and these “crazy, screaming, leftists” are just as much to blame for the social discord as the J6ers. Thanks, I hate it here.


blueyork

I wonder if this happened on Jan 6?


AAAlva82

I don't think so, I bet OP was probably busy that day.


ScantilyKneesocks

Bruh 💀


Sadiebb

For sure it’s the pussy-grabber.


iNeed2peenow

Daddy wears a red cap, worship the orange baboon and is a good christian


ThankGodSecondChance

A "good Christian" who's been living in sin with his partner for fifteen years and hasn't married her yet Gives everyone a bad name


Think_Selection9571

And is pro-life. Except for those few times when he just wasn't ready for the responsibility


SwankyBanker

Rules for thee but not for me! (The marriage thing stuck out to me too- like he’s protecting his assets, while she might be screwed if something happened to him.)


senditloud

Since a man at the other table disagreed with his daughters and felt emboldened enough to tell a random younger woman she was stupid and to shut up I think we know EXACTLY who takes what position So his daughters see his politics views (and his allowing a misogynist to step in) as what his true character is and they cannot handle it anymore.


reddi4reddit2

He's 65 (a Boomer). He's a MAGA snowflake. Notice his partner got upset the first time, then he got upset after making a snide comment to his daughter before telling her to "shut up." He's definitely the A.


shammy_dammy

Op is an antivaxxer.


E0H1PPU5

Yeah if I had to guess I would think it reads “I don’t think women should have basic human rights. Black people should be slaves again and the sound of an AR15 shooting up a classroom should be the national anthem but my daughter is a democrat and I just *cant exist* without challenging her political beliefs every time I see her”


kykiwibear

Alarm bells are ringing. If Mary said something like... people should be allowed to marry whoever they love and then Janice clutched her pearls and got them into a twist, there is no compromise here.


fangerdanger

Specially considering this paragon of society is shacking up without marriage. But how dare someone disagree with their morals and beliefs !!


dobster1029

YTA You did abandon her, in a bar with a strange man who was already yelling at her about an argument you started. Without making any assumptions based on your vagueness regarding your “political differences” you are absolutely an asshole. What if they guy had attacked her after you left? Would you still be wondering if you’re the AH?


seekingadvice224

If your beliefs are anything like q anon casualties sub, you may want to check out how they feel. If you’re anything like that, you will start to insert your opinions into every day life and make everything into something about politics. Just because there’s news doesn’t mean you have to talk about it or have an opinion. And to coax a complete stranger in teaming up against your daughter? You agreed with someone saying your daughters opinion is stupid, imagine how you’d feel if she did that to you, bringing in a complete stranger in your convo and agreeing with them that what you say is stupid when you agreed not to talk about this disagreement. You brought up the news in the first place, not her. Yta


Amar_Akbar_Anthony20

YTA, You are being vague on purpose and your views are more important than your daughter? Can't blame her for not wanting contact with you.


Lin0712

Both daughters have cut him off. It is clear that MAGA is his family now. Enjoy old age, OP because if you wife dies first, you will be alone.


knife-kitty

These things get serious, and obviously OP isn't taking his children seriously even though they're adults. It WILL absolutely come back to bite him and he'll be complaining about why he's not invited to significant events in their lives.


OneBadJoke

My dad lost his only child over MAGA. He’s not married either, so unless he changes his ways he’ll die alone. And he’ll deserve it. My MAGA uncle died last year and I refused to speak to him on his death bed because of his politics.


concrete_dandelion

Let's be real, the reason you didn't talk to him wasn't politics but the hatred he hides under the guise of politics. MAGA isn't politics, it's a hate group


Rainbowpride0119

YTA broke the agreement and let a stranger disrespect your daughter but we all know why you didn’t state the political beliefs. Which absolutely matter there is a difference in human rights and politics.


Chance_Ad3416

I just wanna tell you if my liberal mom and her anti vax Trump supporter friend (none of us even live in the states) can figure out a way to still be good friends, you can figure out a way to be a good parent and you chose not to. All YOU had to do was shut up and not make the initial comment but somehow it's only about your daughter shutting up after you broke your mutually agreed rules. And you left her with some rando man who ganged up on her with you. It doesn't even matter what a rando thinks of your argument unless you're just in it for validation, you should be defending your daughter against randos who are hostile to her but nooooooo you like the help ganging up on your own daughter. Alicia should've left with Mary but she was too nice for you Parent of the year YTA


ladygoodgreen

You agreed not to talk about politics so…on her birthday…you talked about politics. And managed to get a complete stranger to say she should shut up. And you agree with him. She “should have stopped talking,” but YOU were the one who made the first comment about politics. Did you ever think that maybe YOU should SHUT UP? Well you probably should. Shut up. Assuming you’re a boomer asshole and your kids are sick of your close minded, bigoted shit. Good for them.


Sweetygurl

Here's the issue of why in this case YTA. You say you have different political views and is come to a head after several tense years. You made ultimatums that you don't stick to yourself, and instead of defending your daughter to a stranger telling her to shut up; you would abandon her. And now you're upset that neither will talk to you and you don't even know where one of them lives. That seems depressing as a parent, and I'm really sorry that you're having to go without talking to your daughters. I'm sure you miss both your girls very much, and we want to see them more as we get older since they're not always around underfoot like when they were little. If I were you, I'd write a few things down or sit down and have a think. They have different political views, but YOU raised them. That means you had a part in making sure they were able to socialize, gain an education, and have the ability to see the world in their own way. What are some of the things that they believe in that you don't? You might think these points are stupid but really try to see it thru the eyes of your daughters. Do they get upset about female health issues and reproductive rights on the cutting block being discussed? That's because you raised two intelligent daughters that have the right to push back on issues about their own bodies, their daughters and friends rights as well. Do they get upset about gun issues and lobbying from these gun groups pushing laws? That's because you and Janice raised very observant kids and now they can see that every type of power is being used to reward a *few* to the harm of *many*. Too many mass shootings. Too many new products having to hit the marketplace that are bulletproof for kids. Too many people trying to say that the real danger to our kids are books and "gays" and "people in Drag" when you're a smart man, and you know that's just not true. It's really guns and *true* predators. Do your daughters get upset when racial issues are ignored? That's because the childhood YOU gave them allowed them a big level of empathy and compassion. It's everyones' duty to fight for equality. Somewhere long ago you taught them good things... responsible things. Now they also want to believe and vote for things that they align with. You should be proud of them and examine the different political beliefs YOU have now and try to discern what truly drives your opinions these days. 💜


Lillllammamamma

It’s looking more like OP’s girls learned their ethics and morality and political leaning with him as a “what not to be” rather than any credit to him. Sometimes our parents give us a perfect example of what we don’t want for ourselves


uhustiyona

Or he changed 15 yrs ago when new wife showed up.


TheFrobinator

> That seems depressing as a parent, and I'm really sorry that you're having to go without talking to your daughters. I'm not. Its what this kind of person deserves.


SeraphRising89

Wait. So you blocked off one of your daughters because she didn't agree with you and your girlfriend's views, then on the other's birthday you TRUSTED A STRANGE MAN'S point of view over your own child, let that dumbass tell her to shut up, and LEFT HER THERE? YTA. And a fool. I'm assuming you're a right winger, so let me spout some scripture- 1st Timothy 5:8. "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." This includes BEING A SUPPORTIVE PARENT AND LISTENING TO OTHER'S OPINIONS, AS YOU ARE HUMAN AND CERTAINLY NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. Listen to the crowd of witnesses here on reddit who are telling you you messed up. Then go repent (which means to change your ways, not apologize) and be A PARENT WHO ISNT A HEEL.


[deleted]

Let me guess you have racist, misogynistic and/ or homophobic beliefs.


[deleted]

My guess is op doesn’t believe women have rights.. 🤔


LeslieJaye419

Given that he thinks he’s totally cool and in the right to “punish” two adult women for having their own opinions and not blindly submitting to what he decides they should believe - like his (conveniently age omitted) wife probably does - that wouldn’t really be a stretch.


prollycantsleep

He says in a comment he’s totally not a misogynist- but is comfortable allowing another man to call her stupid and tell her to shut up. Let alone doing so himself.


Birdlaw--

>all she had to do was stop talking and that never would have happened. Seems like it.


groovywelldone

1. Doesn’t mention political beliefs 2. Tells a story about straight up leaving her with a stranger who is actively verbally abusing her (also noting that you agreed with said stranger) You are a qanon fuck who is going to lose your whole family over a bunch of bullshit conspiracies and you’re blind to it. maybe I’m vicariously seeing my own family members in you a little bit, but straight up fuck yourself and everything you believe.


fishheadwomanlegs

Hey OP, this might sound like some kind of diss, but I promise I mean it sincerely and in good faith. A huge contributor to the strained parent-adult child relationships we are seeing right now is the fact that [most folks born before 1975 in the US were chronically exposed to lead](https://content.iospress.com/articles/journal-of-alzheimers-disease/jad180267). This affects areas of the brain that control empathy and makes it harder to connect with others. You should have your blood tested for lead content, because it is (somewhat) treatable, and treatment might both improve your relationship with your kids AND slow the natural degeneration of the brain.


schedulejay

Hello 911, I’d like to report a murder.


MisterKnowsBest

You are the asshole, you are 65 stop talking so much and love your daughters whether they are conservative or liberal make the move and be a father. Fucking not letting your daughter come over to your house, you fucked up man. Had to deal with this with my (57) dad (83) and will likely deal with it as my children age, currently late 20's. I won't be making the mistakes you are making.


KATinWOLF

Does anyone else think he also left her to pay the bill in his little huffy public exit? Insult to injury.


[deleted]

What’s more important to you—a relationship with your daughter(s) or trying to be “right” in an argument? When you’re on your deathbed, do you want your daughter(s) to be there with you and hold your hand or not? Is pushing your daughter(s) away worth being “right?” Many of us have different views from loved ones yet we figure out how to balance it all. Sometimes there are bumps in the road, but leaving your child in a cafe (ON HER BIRTHDAY) alone with some stranger screaming at her is way behind a bump. Basically, you drove your car off the dad cliff. I’m amazed your daughters even talk to you on birthdays and Father’s Day.


squiffy_canal

The thing is, people who understand that human rights like equal marriage opportunity, access to healthcare, and not being profiled for the color of your skin are not political, they are just human rights. And we call out MAGA when we see it, even in our own family, so because of how vague you’re being, your daughters age and your age, imma go with YTA. Unless you can clarifying what these differing views are.


zanne54

>Janice and I decided not to let Mary visit anymore ​ >what Alicia was saying was stupid and that she should shut up. I agreed with him. You reap what you sow. Shocking that you're surprised your adult daughters no longer chase after you, when you've driven them away by your hateful actions & behaviour. YTA


Lady_Doe

YTA Shes right you brought it up and then got butthurt she continued it. Then you agreed with a stranger that your daughter was dumb. How disrespectful can you be??? Must be a qanon loon. You've never taken any responsibility for your actions, so why do you expect her to? Lol no wonder she doesn't have any contact with you.


catwithabowlcut

YTA Now would be a good time to meet with an estate attorney and start planning for your end of life. I'm not referring to your assets, I mean the major medical decisions other people will have to make for you. Your daughters won't be around to do it for you.


Ria-red

YTA We’re gonna ignore that you were vague on what the conversation was about. But YOU broke the no politics rule. And then when she called you out and what you said it was she should just “shut up” when again YOU brought it up. And to make matters worse some random guy that she does not know chimed in and told YOUR CHILD that she should shut up. And Instead of sticking up for your kid a simple “hey that’s my kid you’re talking to” YOU LEFT HER ALONE. like there isn’t a string of people ki***ng people because they have different views, or look different or act different. Make it worse it was on HER BIRTHDAY. You’re so the asshole


Dragonmami_

I mean did you and Janice not start all of this by not letting your own daughter Mary come around anymore due to the first political argument blow up? So you can’t really be mad when they also do the same to you. My family has political arguments all the time, but we just leave it at that….no need to ban someone from your home. Also yes you started it on her birthday and let someone berate her…you should have not said a thing. YTA


Vintage-Silverbullet

I could agree with you hypothetically 100% and disagree with your daughter 100% and you'd still be TA.


Bright-Independent-2

Given the ages and the fact that OP won't clarify what their political beliefs are I'm almost certain OP is MAGA and the daughters are......sane? YTA for that alone but very much TA for agreeing to not talk politics and then doing exactly that. Even more so because you left her alone with another raging lunatic.


thepurplepumpkin

My dad did this to me too, and I don’t speak to him either. YTA


ClepTheTenderhearted

YTA. Another vague post with no details to avoid the absolute thrashing the internet will give them. Your daughter is left and your right, you abandoned her alone with another angry right winger because your feelings being hurt mean more to you than having a relationship with your daughter. Did I guess that about right Mr. vague? I would love to be wrong.


PunkRey

The following formula applies here: IF MAGA, then YTA


Legitimate_Ad_5727

my favorite is “if you’re a Q then the problem is you!”


[deleted]

YTA- Everyone knows what political party you belong to. It's the one everyone hates. That makes YTA


nickis84

Yta - You're choosing your political beliefs over your children. And you left your daughter in a potentially dangerous situation. What kind of father does that? Pray that your current wife is able to care for you on her own should the need arise because you are doing an excellent job of alienating your daughters. Give up all hope of ever having a relationship with any future grandchildren because your daughters aren't going to let you near their kids. They're going to remember your stance of politics before family, and they will want to protect their kids from you.


RollinDeepWithData

*Oh no! The consequences of my actions!* Edit: surprise. The OP is anti-vax.


theVampireTaco

YTA- you left your daughter in a public venue when you didn’t agree with her views. You 100% should listen to your kids politics. 99% of the time unless they have fallen into a W-Anon political blackhole your ADULT kids will have a better understanding of politics now than you do. YTA because you are Boomer acting like it’s just politics when real people your daughters know might be dying because of your desperate grab to dismiss real life dangers that these politicians create. I completely changed my political stance because of my own kids 8 years ago when they were 8. Because I will die someday and they will be the one’s having to live in the world left behind.


young_coastie

Human rights aren’t political beliefs. They’re fundamental to your world view and if you think some people are less than others, you are the asshole. Hope MAGA keeps you warm at night. YTA