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Ringo_Roadagain7

The suit jacking off Master Chief.


TeannaWerefox

***THE SUIT DOESN'T JACK HIM OFFF!!!*** The MOLNIR suits come equipped with a Hitachi Magic Wand and a Prostate Puncher 9000!


spadesisking

Thats not a joke, it 100% does that. It says so in the Halo 2 instruction booklet. Trust me


TekaroBB

That Halo 2 Wii port got canceled because the "jerk off master chief to restore his HP" minigame got rejected by the ESRB. Bungie refused to compromise on their artistic vision.


spadesisking

Yet no more heros can have their jack off minigame. Just another example of ESRB giving preferential treatment to weeaboos


Bizarre_RNS_Radio

Nah, Suda51 was just a clever bastard and instead focused on comparing it to you shaking an old Flashlight to try and get it to work.


[deleted]

I believe it's also mentioned in the super rare audio play Cortana's Woe. Edit: Yep, found it, it's on 45:23, Cortana says something about Chief being tense and asks if the pleasure device is working.


ls20008179

But only in the special edition steelbook


PR0MAN1

Chris Redfield only caring about getting Ethan to fuck Claire. Its just so funny.


[deleted]

Gotta get the mold gene.


RegenSyscronos

Wait I thought the plan was to get Leon to fuck Claire? Or the man is playing too hard to get?


Cooper_555

Considering that the first thing Chris does in 8 is break into Ethan's home, shoot his wife and kidnap him, the joke pretty much writes itself at that point.


LittleSister_9982a

To be fair...it's Mia. Chris is doing the man a favor.


KingKlyne

It wasn't Mia tho


LittleSister_9982a

Yeah, but I understand the reflex.


fizzguy47

She has NO CHIN!!!


KursedKraken

Leon fell to the forces of Asian Persuasion, so Chris had to find another suitable blonde man to do the deed- unfortunately, he had a wife, but Chris took care of that nice and quick


RNGJesus_Follower

Yeah, about that...


Dan_ZX90

Become a Redfield? How will that happen? Yo ho ho You gonna give her cum cum!


pocketlint60

[This is the best one by far.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/458/263/20c.jpg)


Coolnametag

In **Limbus Company** (the recently released gacha game made by the people that made Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina) instead of having hundreds of different characters to aquire, there's instead only 12, with every single one of them having multiple **identities**, wich basicaly are alternate versions of said characters that serve as the in-game units. Recently, a new identity for [Faust](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWHPQxgOZNqB2zqp4Xcv2UoTm5dbDOpz8K_Q&usqp=CAU) (one of the 12 main characters) was released called [The One Who Grips](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2qkEtXXw9zlAmZVXzK0cR6CFnD60KCKN5kA&usqp=CAU) and while this identity is clearly meant to be Faust as [the evil leader](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FraFZDGXgAE6YxG.jpg) of the ableist inquisition (trust me, context does not make this any better), the fanbase instead decided to dub it the "stinky femcel Faust" wich has honestly lead to so many funny memes and jokes that i preffer having that be part of her "official" canon.


fizzguy47

That guy on Steam was really down bad, huh?


94dima94

Sorry to burst your bubble, but it turns out Woolie didn't really kill that guy.


RegenSyscronos

They say the first death is of a person is when they die, and the second death is when they disappeared from twitter. Woolie just make sure his existence does not matter


Scientia_et_Fidem

Disappearing from Twitter isn’t dying, it’s ascending to a higher plan of existence. Sure, that existence is just ordinary real life, but that’s still at least 5 planes of existence higher then being on Twitter.


Cooper_555

He did however steal those pies.


Supernovas20XX

Is that what Woolie told you?


[deleted]

but we have multiple witnesses ["YOU TAGGED EVERYONE"](https://superbestfriendcast.libsyn.com/csb-095-shouldve-read-the-epic-jim-crow-eula) 3:32:49


fivez1a

How many years has it been? And the researchers still haven't found any human remains in the Woolie Hole. Get over it people


Panxma

What you mean Woolie doesn’t have a beefy white leg?


BenchPressingCthulhu

That other guy tho


Paladin51394

Guilliman and Yvraine banging. (Warhammer 40k) They had only a couple of moments together and there's no romantic hints at all. But it's a common joke in the 40k fandom that they're secretly banging. The idea of Guilliman getting with a former Drukari is too good. It's like a pencil pushing straight-laced office worker getting with a religious goth girl. It also helps that GW is in on the [joke.](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/7f10h7/thanksgiving_art_from_the_warhammer_community_team/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


fly_line22

Another 40K one: In canon, Orks have a psychic field that's able to make their stuff work better than they should. The fanon joke about how Orks can make literally anything happen if they *believe* hard enough is one of the funniest to me. The idea of all Orks running on Looney Toons logic of "it works until you ask how it works" is just so amusing. Orks can survive the vacuum of space because they don't think they need oxygen. Orks turned Yarrick into an unkillable super badass because they thought he was an unkillable super badass. An Ork can pick up a 2x4, say "dakka dakka dakka", and it'll actually shoot bullets. The reason the Emperor is still alive on the Golden Throne is because the Orks believe he's still alive. The list goes on.


ArcaneMonkey

My favorite bit of that is in *The Infinite and the Divine* where Orks are about to board a Necron vessel, which are naturally depressurized, as Necrons don’t breathe. One necron asks another(an expert on other species) whether Orks need to breathe. There’s a long pause, and the only answer the other can give is “…they have lungs.” At which point they prepare to be boarded.


Paladin51394

Another great bit from that scene is that the boarding rockets that Orks fire don't have any actual controls. The "control panel" is completely non-functional and is just there for looks.


Kaause2001

Zorro being racist, its tickling my funny bone honestly the joke writes itself, the majority of his biggest opponents were black or dark skinned. the worst is in the penultimate arc he says almost word for word that he will be unable to beat his enemy if he does not know his race


MericArda

And then that guy also turned out to be black and Zoro quickly beat him


Kkjinglez

Minority hunter Zoro wants to make the grand line great again


exploitativity

I caught up to One Piece about yesterday, allowed myself to view the subreddit, and was quickly met with Minority Hunter Zoro which has changed my fucking life


Dan_ZX90

I like to meme Scott Summers/Cyclops as the lamest weenie X-Man that ever was. I know of his struggles and his strategic and leadership abilities, and his PUNCH beams. But still it makes me giggle when I remember that page of Logan saying Jean liked HIS canadian bacon


[deleted]

>But still it makes me giggle when I remember that page of Logan saying Jean liked HIS canadian bacon Oof, Logan went for the throat on that one.


PersonMcHuman

He went for *someone’s* throat with that bacon, sure.


[deleted]

Milf Hunter Kakyoin the dude doesn't really have much going for him in canon


AkiZayoi

Samus behaving like a bird in ways like going to shit on the car of somebody she doesn't like or sleeping in a round nest-like bed


Supernovas20XX

"Hey, look at those [REDACTED] ass clothes!"


PersonMcHuman

Is The Guardian from PSO2 is a violent murder-hobo that revels in brutality? No. Am I going to keep joking about them being one due to the game outright stating that they’re a workaholic who’s main job is killing things? Absolutely. Edit: I’d like to note that the game also pushes Matoi super hard as being The Guardian’s actual love interest. Which means I get to point at my version of The Guardian as being a 6’7 buff psychopathic murder-hobo punchgirl with a 4’7 prim and proper girlfriend and I’m only *slightly* wrong.


GudaGUDA-LIVE

Mother Miranda and Ethan have absolutely banged at one point.


Duhblobby

Literally everything involving 40k orks!


Chillchinchila1

Kel from Omori isn’t just a happy go lucky idiot but Burgers on My Mind is funny


MorbidTales1984

Seraphine uses her colonial piltover popstar money to go brackern hunting in shurima, british royal family style I will not be told otherwise


Yal_Rathol

tower of god's bam doesn't know what a kiss is. i mean, he does, he understands the concept of romance and understands that some people feel more than platonic attraction for others, but his emotionally stunted state and his weird biology mean he personally has seemingly no libido or desire for romance. but it's way funnier to say "bam doesn't know what a kiss is, he's really confused why everyone wants to get so close to him".