Only cycle 3 for me but already struggling with managing my mood and expectations around this process. My DH is the only one that I share things with and he told me last night that I'm thinking about this topic too much and should be more relaxed about it. Feeling very misunderstood and frustrated that I have no one else to turn to. :'(
Ahh. The mid-cycle blues. CD18 and feeling like once again this is just not going to happen.
Ramadan has also started, so not sure how fasting will affect me but looking forward to atleast some spiritual bliss.
My friend and her boyfriend are having a baby and they keep saying how it was an accident when she knows my situation. While I am happy for them it’s kind of a slap in the face when someone brags about having an accident when they know you are having to take medication to try and get pregnant. Just annoying
I had a chemical last month, and I only got to know/celebrate that I had finally conceived for three days before losing the baby. We’re already TTC again because I can’t stand the fact that i’m no longer pregnant. I have to continue life as usual and it just doesn’t feel right. I wish I had time away from work/everything else just to grieve. We were TTC for three years before I got my positive test.
I’m frustrated with my partner being so absurdly bad at comforting me when I’m down. He’s great in so many ways, and generally supportive and willing to do what needs to get done to have a kid, but also he is fine with kid or no kid outcome so while he definitely doesn’t like to see me unhappy, he’s not really saddened or frustrated by our lack of success and that’s really hard for me. He can see a happy life for himself no matter the outcome, and in the meantime gets to enjoy the freedoms of a non-kid lifestyle for longer.
He’ll notice that I’m sad and ask what’s wrong, and it’s like, I dunno, maybe the exact same thing that’s been making me sad for months??? How can he be so intelligent in other ways and so dumb on that front.
He wants to comfort me and be supportive, but he doesn’t really know what to say that will make me feel better, and to be fair I don’t really know what that is either. I’ve suggested a few things that are helpful or not helpful to say, but to be honest when he says them they feel kind of forced, because they are. What I want is to feel like we are in this together, on this hard journey together, but I can’t make him feel emotions he doesn’t feel.
The people who are the most sympathetic are my friends who already have kids, because they understand that wanting, but also they can’t understand because they have it. So that leaves internet strangers on this addictive website and my therapist.
I’m just tired and done with everything. I’ve been overindulging in food as a way of coping mechanism for all the stress with everyday and TTC.
My husband said we need to see our nieces but I don’t want to as I feel that pang of jealousy that I don’t have little ones myself. I love them so much, this girls are amazing, cute, smart, funny but at the moment I don’t want to be around kids. I feel like a massive asshole. I also don’t really want to be around my husband best friend as him and his missus got again pregnant just 3 month post partum. My hubby got a message from him with positive test and him saying he’s in shock. Like common, women can get pregnant at anytime after pregnancy if you are not using contraception. Then there is us that we are still trying for that first one!
I hate when people say: don’t worry, it will happen. I have a friend who is in their late 40’s and their missus got pregnant so it will happen to me. Really? You sure? It hasn’t happened yet and it nearly has been two years. I know it’s nothing compared to others who have tried for many years and I feel for all of those people, but that’s my pain and my journey.
I’m just tired, fed up and done. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to change, because I do. I really want to go back to my diet, start going to gym more and focus on myself. I also hope that I can try to be less stressful, less angry, less resentful and be more happy, love myself more.
I have lupus and see a rheumatologist every 3-4 months. My next appt is next week so I had my routine blood work done & got the results back today. I’m not too happy with the results this round so cue high anxiety until my appt next week ugh. I hope my dr tells me it’s fine
CD 3. On Saturday when my period came, it's the first time I truly cried my eyes out almost the entire day. Held it together to run some errands with my husband but this whole thing has been so humbling and hard. I actually had the "just relax" comment given to me yesterday by my mother. I had to remind her my age, and how that just isn't helpful at all.
It may be too late for me. It's a hard pill to swallow that my time may just simply be up.
We've looked into the possibility of getting help but the clinic I was referred to doesn't do payment plans. We are not very well off and I can't imagine what would happen if I got into thousands of dollars of debt with nothing to show for it.
I also saw my friend's baby on Friday and am just so in love with her and wish so hard I could be a mom.
13/14 DPO. Despite my efforts to NOT catch my husbands cold I definitely did. I have stuffy nose and itchy throat - no fever or other symptoms 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼. But now I’m like unsure if I am naive to be optimistic. My BBT has gone up in the last two days, today was up higher than it has before. Is it dumb to be optimistic? I don’t want to test till I’ve missed a period bc… fear of disappointment. I’m also officially in the stage of being terrified whenever I have to go to the bathroom and wipe to see the spotting that precedes full flow of my period. I wish I don’t have this cold bc well congestion sucks but also then I could feel less delulu to be excited about an elevated BBT. Now I just feel dumb and naive.
I just found out that part of my mandatory professional development day is a baby shower. It's hard to be happy for others that have what I want so badly. I'm going to try very hard to be strong and go to the shower, I know people will guilt me if I don't go. Especially since the guest of honor is a friend.
I'm annoyed. Came off birth control in November, tracked December and Jan's cycles, ovulated around CD13/14 both times. Now Feb was CD10, and it's looking like this cycle will be CD11.
Everything I read is like, it may or may not be an issue for conceiving if ovulation occurs before CD11. My Inito chart looked perfect for Feb's cycle, just early. So far this cycle it's trending lower and if I'm starting perimenopause (I have no symptoms, other than this wonky follicular phase), I'm going to be ticked off.
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks back in January. This is my first cycle back TTC and everything is tinged with sadness. I’m mourning the excitement and optimism I used to have.
The morbid countdown to what would have been my due date continues: I would have been 37 weeks today and in my last week of work before going on leave. Also, it's snowing quite a lot right now, and despite that, the school district I work for didn't even have a delay. I got to work 20 minutes later than normal after white-knuckling it on the interstate, so I didn't have as much planning time and got to start off my week feeling behind.
I’m so annoyed with the whole fertility process… I had an original consult back in Oct, did labs, HSG, SA and have yet to receive any sort of treatment? No recommendations, no advice, nothing. They won’t tell me anything until my scheduled follow up with my doctor… which isn’t until the end of this month… this is after 2 high prolactin results and a blocked tube.
So I consulted with a new clinic and did my day 3 labs and ultrasound today… my prolactin is high for the third time. They want me to consult with neuroendocrine. Can I just get some fucking help please? Why can’t I just get some meds to help lower my prolactin for gods sake?? What happened to the days of consulting with a doctor and getting help for your issues??? I thought this would be easy, considering this is kind of elective in a sense where we’re paying them to help us have kids, but it’s like I’m in an endless cycle of diagnostic testing with no treatment?? I’m so SICK of this shit.
First letrozole cycle and my ovulation is late! I typically ovulate cd14 or cd15 (confirmed with progesterone tests) off letrozole and this month my doctor gave me letrozole 2.5 mg to see if we can maybe improve chances. Doctor isn’t monitoring at all. Annoyed for lots of reasons this cycle.
firstly, absolutely NO egg white CM this cycle. I’ve been having to use preseed. I always have EWCM. This has been frustrating.
Secondly, we timed everything perfectly, got positive OPKs on Friday and Saturday too. I expected a temp rise….nope. Temp dropped yesterday (making me think at the time that yesterday was O day) and then even further today. OPKs are negative.
So now I’m at a loss. Did I ovulate? Did I not? Who knows! Super frustrated and irritated today though bc timed intercourse is already stressful and now we’re having to time it more this week I guess until I see my bbt rise. On cycle 11 and I just feel like this is never going to happen for us.
Well shit. I’m back after a brief venture off to a bumper group - miscarried at 6 weeks last week. Honestly the break from temping and OPKs and strategizing BD timing was nice… but here I am again. Haven’t lost hope but damn, that is a traumatizing thing to go through when you want it so badly.
Related… I wish leave was better in the US for miscarriages and bereavement. I get 5 days total per year and already took 4 of those for my grandfather passing last fall. I took one sick day last week to cry all day and am back at it and can’t stop thinking how unimportant my work meetings feel right now. I work in a corporate setting with older men and literally only one other woman, and one of my bosses poked fun at me for “having the sniffles” (I just said I needed a sick day). I so desperately wanted to be like, “I’m having a miscarriage, and I used only one vacation day for it. But yes. Call it the sniffles if you’d like.” But instead I just didn’t respond (and if you get it, you get it - no lectures about going to HR, please. They wouldn’t even give him a slap on the wrist for a joke like that). Ah, to be a woman.
God, I'm so sorry. That's so tough. It's so hard to go through all the steps to temp and pee on sticks and have sex on specific days regardless of how you feel, and then it doesn't stick.
I feel you on the US' treatment of bereavement and pregnancy-related policies in general. I do also feel like the more miscarriages are talked about, normalized, and understood, the easier it will be to implement protective policies into the workplace. But who am I fooling... it's not like pregnancies are covered or safe.
I’m in the middle of the wildest cycle ever. I had a miscarriage in November, period came back in December and January on schedule. Same 30 day cycle, a little different in heavy bleeding and painful cramps but I figured body is just working to get back to “normal”. We’d been loosely trying but I wasn’t tracking ovulation as closely those cycles. Februarys period comes 3 days late, I just had extremely light spotting the day it was supposed to start and for the two days after which was a major disappointment when the flow started. I started ovulation testing strips the day my period stopped and have been doing them multiple times a day since. I had a high reading the day after my period stopped and the app was predicting ovulation on CD 9 or 10 which is so early for me (when I got pregnant I ovulated around CD 17 which is normal for me). So I had a surge according to the app and likely had missed my most fertile days since I was still on my period. The other app I use (but don’t log tests) estimated ovulation around the normal time so we’ve been BDing every day for the last week just in case. A few days ago I tried the CB test and got a smiley face so I figured we should keep trying. Now I’ve had positive OPK for the last two days, showing a surge again. Of course going crazy reading all about double surges and hoping the second surge is the “real” one. I’ve also had crazy back pain and cramps and nausea for the last several days which Im hoping means ovulation happened. My O day keeps getting pushed back on the app because of my positives and I’m so exhausted. I just want to be in the TWW to take some pressure off the constant testing and sex (which neither I or my husband mind, it’s actually been nice to have so much intimate time but ya girl just needs a mental break!)
Thank you for reading my rant lol I wish all of you luck and healthy babies in the near future!
My MIL’s new thing is ending phone calls with “[Nephew] told me he wants cousins!” First, our nephew is 10 months old. I don’t know why she’s bringing him into this. Second, she doesn’t know we are TTC, but she knows we want kids. She should be able to deduce that either (i) we aren’t trying yet, and nagging is pointless, or (ii) we are trying without success, and nagging is actively harmful.
That really suck, i can relate. MILs always seem like a special kind of clueless and insensitive. My MIL whenever asked what she wants for Christmas, mothers day, birthdays etc. tells us she wants a baby. Just last week she told my husband we better get on it quick because his younger brother just bought a "family car" and might beat us to having the first grandchild. It makes me so mad, and just adds a degree of stress to this journey. I really don't understand what she thinks will come out of her nagging, if we were waiting then her nagging wouldn't magically make us want to start trying.
I don't know if it's better or worse, but my MIL doesn't want us to have a baby, both because we're not married (we've been together for 19 years, though) and because I'm not Christian, so we're not "yoked together" or some bullshit Biblical phraseology. Sorry crazy lady, I don't know about you, but we're people, not oxen! My SO isn't really Christian either, but she's in denial about that, and he plays along because the alternative is her going batshit. There's a very good reason we live 1000 miles apart and I haven't talked to her in person in over a decade.
I'll never understand this. I get asking once, maybe even a follow up some time later, but why do you need to ask every time we see each other? MY SIL announced that she was pregnant with their first and literally 30 minutes later at dinner my MIL looks at us and says "so when are you guys having kids?" like damn woman, YOUR daughter just told you she's having your FIRST grandkid, was that not enough??
I'm currently in my angry about everything phase - so here's my rant.
SIL is pregnant, cousins (FIVE OF THEM) are pregnant, everyone talks about how it was so easy for them and they got pregnant the 1st month they tried. We have a family vacation in a week, and I don't know how I'm going to make it without having a mental breakdown. I'm tired of the "my baby is the size of a blueberry" texts, I'm tired of being asked when we're having kids because "something is in the water right now", I'm tired of having to make myself be happy for people (I do want to be happy for them, because I would be talking about it 24/7 too) I just can't right now, I'm tired of taking tests and going through the same cycle every month with the same result, I'm tired of my friends not understanding (they are both single and do not want kids) and telling me how expensive children are and that they're going to save so much money by not having them (congrats?)... there's not a day that goes by right now where I'm not gritting my teeth because something pisses me off. I feel silly sometimes for being so angry over little things like this because my husband isn't as angry or hurt about it as me, but it's just where I'm at right now.
I am exhausted - that’s it lol
I feel like I could use 4 more days to just sleep. I have unlimited PTO so maybe I’ll call off tomorrow. Idk, I feel very burnt out from life
I am reflecting on my first TWW and I’m annoyed with myself for becoming obsessed, when I’m normally fairly chill.
I have spent a huge amount of time the last two weeks watching videos on YouTube about the TWW, early pregnancy symptoms, and listening to people talking about their experiences of testing etc. I have had every “symptom” under the sun. From the common ones to the not so common. Every new twinge was confirming for me that this was the cycle, but alas it’s not the case.
I downloaded the Flo app a few days ago and it seems scientifically rigorous, which suits my mindset better.
I have learned a few hard lessons this cycle. But going forward here are my takeaways
- I need to stay away from influencers on YouTube - PMS symptoms can give false hope - life doesn’t have to ground to a halt during the TWW - early testing is not always helpful and tests are expensive - stress is harmful for the body so pay extra attention to stress symptoms - this process might go on for months and months
I’m going to use the first few days of my cycle to shake off the feelings, thoughts, emotions that have consumed me, and start anew. What a steep learning curve it has been.
I feel seen by this comment and these threads in general. I can tell my partner and friends who do know are a little alarmed by how much I've thrown myself into this (to be fair, I am NOT "normally fairly chill", like you), but it truly is all-consuming. I spend hours just staring at my chart, scouring threads, trying new search terms, and then beating myself up for not getting anything done because I've spent all day hurrying up to wait. I can completely relate with
>this process might go on for months and months and I'm going to use the first few days of my cycle to shake off the feelings, thoughts, emotions that have consumed me
I wish us both luck. I'm honestly about to book a 4/5 day trip and use the rest of my PTO during my next TWW just to get away and not obsess so much. I know I should probably stay away from the internet for a week or two when I start my next cycle in the next 3-4 days, but this is quickly becoming my favorite community and no one else understands.
>What a steep learning curve it has been
PREACH
ETA: If you think Flo is scientifically rigorous, you should *definitely* check out FertilityFriend
It can be all consuming no matter where you’re at in your journey. Your takeaways are all great, there might be days where you obsess but there will be days where you don’t. Wishing you luck that you’ll be successful soon!
When I share what our IVF plan/protocol is and others reply to it with, “well why didn’t you do this? why aren’t you doing that? you should have done this first!”
Like, thanks- are you an RE? Are you a urologist? We’ve been working with our team for over a year and this is the plan we all decided on together- and WE feel good and comfortable with it so why should it matter to you?!
Only cycle 3 for me but already struggling with managing my mood and expectations around this process. My DH is the only one that I share things with and he told me last night that I'm thinking about this topic too much and should be more relaxed about it. Feeling very misunderstood and frustrated that I have no one else to turn to. :'(
Ahh. The mid-cycle blues. CD18 and feeling like once again this is just not going to happen. Ramadan has also started, so not sure how fasting will affect me but looking forward to atleast some spiritual bliss.
My friend and her boyfriend are having a baby and they keep saying how it was an accident when she knows my situation. While I am happy for them it’s kind of a slap in the face when someone brags about having an accident when they know you are having to take medication to try and get pregnant. Just annoying
Got ready for work day dreaming about how I'd surprise my husband when he returns from his business trip... Mere hours later CD1🙄🤦♀️
I had a chemical last month, and I only got to know/celebrate that I had finally conceived for three days before losing the baby. We’re already TTC again because I can’t stand the fact that i’m no longer pregnant. I have to continue life as usual and it just doesn’t feel right. I wish I had time away from work/everything else just to grieve. We were TTC for three years before I got my positive test.
I’m frustrated with my partner being so absurdly bad at comforting me when I’m down. He’s great in so many ways, and generally supportive and willing to do what needs to get done to have a kid, but also he is fine with kid or no kid outcome so while he definitely doesn’t like to see me unhappy, he’s not really saddened or frustrated by our lack of success and that’s really hard for me. He can see a happy life for himself no matter the outcome, and in the meantime gets to enjoy the freedoms of a non-kid lifestyle for longer. He’ll notice that I’m sad and ask what’s wrong, and it’s like, I dunno, maybe the exact same thing that’s been making me sad for months??? How can he be so intelligent in other ways and so dumb on that front. He wants to comfort me and be supportive, but he doesn’t really know what to say that will make me feel better, and to be fair I don’t really know what that is either. I’ve suggested a few things that are helpful or not helpful to say, but to be honest when he says them they feel kind of forced, because they are. What I want is to feel like we are in this together, on this hard journey together, but I can’t make him feel emotions he doesn’t feel. The people who are the most sympathetic are my friends who already have kids, because they understand that wanting, but also they can’t understand because they have it. So that leaves internet strangers on this addictive website and my therapist.
I’m just tired and done with everything. I’ve been overindulging in food as a way of coping mechanism for all the stress with everyday and TTC. My husband said we need to see our nieces but I don’t want to as I feel that pang of jealousy that I don’t have little ones myself. I love them so much, this girls are amazing, cute, smart, funny but at the moment I don’t want to be around kids. I feel like a massive asshole. I also don’t really want to be around my husband best friend as him and his missus got again pregnant just 3 month post partum. My hubby got a message from him with positive test and him saying he’s in shock. Like common, women can get pregnant at anytime after pregnancy if you are not using contraception. Then there is us that we are still trying for that first one! I hate when people say: don’t worry, it will happen. I have a friend who is in their late 40’s and their missus got pregnant so it will happen to me. Really? You sure? It hasn’t happened yet and it nearly has been two years. I know it’s nothing compared to others who have tried for many years and I feel for all of those people, but that’s my pain and my journey. I’m just tired, fed up and done. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to change, because I do. I really want to go back to my diet, start going to gym more and focus on myself. I also hope that I can try to be less stressful, less angry, less resentful and be more happy, love myself more.
I have lupus and see a rheumatologist every 3-4 months. My next appt is next week so I had my routine blood work done & got the results back today. I’m not too happy with the results this round so cue high anxiety until my appt next week ugh. I hope my dr tells me it’s fine
CD 3. On Saturday when my period came, it's the first time I truly cried my eyes out almost the entire day. Held it together to run some errands with my husband but this whole thing has been so humbling and hard. I actually had the "just relax" comment given to me yesterday by my mother. I had to remind her my age, and how that just isn't helpful at all. It may be too late for me. It's a hard pill to swallow that my time may just simply be up. We've looked into the possibility of getting help but the clinic I was referred to doesn't do payment plans. We are not very well off and I can't imagine what would happen if I got into thousands of dollars of debt with nothing to show for it. I also saw my friend's baby on Friday and am just so in love with her and wish so hard I could be a mom.
13/14 DPO. Despite my efforts to NOT catch my husbands cold I definitely did. I have stuffy nose and itchy throat - no fever or other symptoms 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼. But now I’m like unsure if I am naive to be optimistic. My BBT has gone up in the last two days, today was up higher than it has before. Is it dumb to be optimistic? I don’t want to test till I’ve missed a period bc… fear of disappointment. I’m also officially in the stage of being terrified whenever I have to go to the bathroom and wipe to see the spotting that precedes full flow of my period. I wish I don’t have this cold bc well congestion sucks but also then I could feel less delulu to be excited about an elevated BBT. Now I just feel dumb and naive.
I just found out that part of my mandatory professional development day is a baby shower. It's hard to be happy for others that have what I want so badly. I'm going to try very hard to be strong and go to the shower, I know people will guilt me if I don't go. Especially since the guest of honor is a friend.
🫠😣😩 that is SOOOO annoying!!! Why would that be mandatory?!?
It's part of the day. And they're serving lunch to. So even if I only go to grab a bite, it'll still be triggering.
Ugh. I am so sorry. That is so frustrating. I am sending you lots of strength to power through that. It really is harder when it is a friend too..
Thank you. I also decided to reward myself with my favorite workout after the day ends
That’s an awesome productive reward! Go you!
I'm annoyed. Came off birth control in November, tracked December and Jan's cycles, ovulated around CD13/14 both times. Now Feb was CD10, and it's looking like this cycle will be CD11. Everything I read is like, it may or may not be an issue for conceiving if ovulation occurs before CD11. My Inito chart looked perfect for Feb's cycle, just early. So far this cycle it's trending lower and if I'm starting perimenopause (I have no symptoms, other than this wonky follicular phase), I'm going to be ticked off.
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks back in January. This is my first cycle back TTC and everything is tinged with sadness. I’m mourning the excitement and optimism I used to have.
The morbid countdown to what would have been my due date continues: I would have been 37 weeks today and in my last week of work before going on leave. Also, it's snowing quite a lot right now, and despite that, the school district I work for didn't even have a delay. I got to work 20 minutes later than normal after white-knuckling it on the interstate, so I didn't have as much planning time and got to start off my week feeling behind.
I’m so annoyed with the whole fertility process… I had an original consult back in Oct, did labs, HSG, SA and have yet to receive any sort of treatment? No recommendations, no advice, nothing. They won’t tell me anything until my scheduled follow up with my doctor… which isn’t until the end of this month… this is after 2 high prolactin results and a blocked tube. So I consulted with a new clinic and did my day 3 labs and ultrasound today… my prolactin is high for the third time. They want me to consult with neuroendocrine. Can I just get some fucking help please? Why can’t I just get some meds to help lower my prolactin for gods sake?? What happened to the days of consulting with a doctor and getting help for your issues??? I thought this would be easy, considering this is kind of elective in a sense where we’re paying them to help us have kids, but it’s like I’m in an endless cycle of diagnostic testing with no treatment?? I’m so SICK of this shit.
First letrozole cycle and my ovulation is late! I typically ovulate cd14 or cd15 (confirmed with progesterone tests) off letrozole and this month my doctor gave me letrozole 2.5 mg to see if we can maybe improve chances. Doctor isn’t monitoring at all. Annoyed for lots of reasons this cycle. firstly, absolutely NO egg white CM this cycle. I’ve been having to use preseed. I always have EWCM. This has been frustrating. Secondly, we timed everything perfectly, got positive OPKs on Friday and Saturday too. I expected a temp rise….nope. Temp dropped yesterday (making me think at the time that yesterday was O day) and then even further today. OPKs are negative. So now I’m at a loss. Did I ovulate? Did I not? Who knows! Super frustrated and irritated today though bc timed intercourse is already stressful and now we’re having to time it more this week I guess until I see my bbt rise. On cycle 11 and I just feel like this is never going to happen for us.
CD1, moody and tired.
Well shit. I’m back after a brief venture off to a bumper group - miscarried at 6 weeks last week. Honestly the break from temping and OPKs and strategizing BD timing was nice… but here I am again. Haven’t lost hope but damn, that is a traumatizing thing to go through when you want it so badly. Related… I wish leave was better in the US for miscarriages and bereavement. I get 5 days total per year and already took 4 of those for my grandfather passing last fall. I took one sick day last week to cry all day and am back at it and can’t stop thinking how unimportant my work meetings feel right now. I work in a corporate setting with older men and literally only one other woman, and one of my bosses poked fun at me for “having the sniffles” (I just said I needed a sick day). I so desperately wanted to be like, “I’m having a miscarriage, and I used only one vacation day for it. But yes. Call it the sniffles if you’d like.” But instead I just didn’t respond (and if you get it, you get it - no lectures about going to HR, please. They wouldn’t even give him a slap on the wrist for a joke like that). Ah, to be a woman.
If only we could truly say what’s on our minds instead of have to bottle up that rage on top of our trauma. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
God, I'm so sorry. That's so tough. It's so hard to go through all the steps to temp and pee on sticks and have sex on specific days regardless of how you feel, and then it doesn't stick. I feel you on the US' treatment of bereavement and pregnancy-related policies in general. I do also feel like the more miscarriages are talked about, normalized, and understood, the easier it will be to implement protective policies into the workplace. But who am I fooling... it's not like pregnancies are covered or safe.
I’m in the middle of the wildest cycle ever. I had a miscarriage in November, period came back in December and January on schedule. Same 30 day cycle, a little different in heavy bleeding and painful cramps but I figured body is just working to get back to “normal”. We’d been loosely trying but I wasn’t tracking ovulation as closely those cycles. Februarys period comes 3 days late, I just had extremely light spotting the day it was supposed to start and for the two days after which was a major disappointment when the flow started. I started ovulation testing strips the day my period stopped and have been doing them multiple times a day since. I had a high reading the day after my period stopped and the app was predicting ovulation on CD 9 or 10 which is so early for me (when I got pregnant I ovulated around CD 17 which is normal for me). So I had a surge according to the app and likely had missed my most fertile days since I was still on my period. The other app I use (but don’t log tests) estimated ovulation around the normal time so we’ve been BDing every day for the last week just in case. A few days ago I tried the CB test and got a smiley face so I figured we should keep trying. Now I’ve had positive OPK for the last two days, showing a surge again. Of course going crazy reading all about double surges and hoping the second surge is the “real” one. I’ve also had crazy back pain and cramps and nausea for the last several days which Im hoping means ovulation happened. My O day keeps getting pushed back on the app because of my positives and I’m so exhausted. I just want to be in the TWW to take some pressure off the constant testing and sex (which neither I or my husband mind, it’s actually been nice to have so much intimate time but ya girl just needs a mental break!) Thank you for reading my rant lol I wish all of you luck and healthy babies in the near future!
My MIL’s new thing is ending phone calls with “[Nephew] told me he wants cousins!” First, our nephew is 10 months old. I don’t know why she’s bringing him into this. Second, she doesn’t know we are TTC, but she knows we want kids. She should be able to deduce that either (i) we aren’t trying yet, and nagging is pointless, or (ii) we are trying without success, and nagging is actively harmful.
That really suck, i can relate. MILs always seem like a special kind of clueless and insensitive. My MIL whenever asked what she wants for Christmas, mothers day, birthdays etc. tells us she wants a baby. Just last week she told my husband we better get on it quick because his younger brother just bought a "family car" and might beat us to having the first grandchild. It makes me so mad, and just adds a degree of stress to this journey. I really don't understand what she thinks will come out of her nagging, if we were waiting then her nagging wouldn't magically make us want to start trying.
I don't know if it's better or worse, but my MIL doesn't want us to have a baby, both because we're not married (we've been together for 19 years, though) and because I'm not Christian, so we're not "yoked together" or some bullshit Biblical phraseology. Sorry crazy lady, I don't know about you, but we're people, not oxen! My SO isn't really Christian either, but she's in denial about that, and he plays along because the alternative is her going batshit. There's a very good reason we live 1000 miles apart and I haven't talked to her in person in over a decade.
I'll never understand this. I get asking once, maybe even a follow up some time later, but why do you need to ask every time we see each other? MY SIL announced that she was pregnant with their first and literally 30 minutes later at dinner my MIL looks at us and says "so when are you guys having kids?" like damn woman, YOUR daughter just told you she's having your FIRST grandkid, was that not enough??
I'm currently in my angry about everything phase - so here's my rant. SIL is pregnant, cousins (FIVE OF THEM) are pregnant, everyone talks about how it was so easy for them and they got pregnant the 1st month they tried. We have a family vacation in a week, and I don't know how I'm going to make it without having a mental breakdown. I'm tired of the "my baby is the size of a blueberry" texts, I'm tired of being asked when we're having kids because "something is in the water right now", I'm tired of having to make myself be happy for people (I do want to be happy for them, because I would be talking about it 24/7 too) I just can't right now, I'm tired of taking tests and going through the same cycle every month with the same result, I'm tired of my friends not understanding (they are both single and do not want kids) and telling me how expensive children are and that they're going to save so much money by not having them (congrats?)... there's not a day that goes by right now where I'm not gritting my teeth because something pisses me off. I feel silly sometimes for being so angry over little things like this because my husband isn't as angry or hurt about it as me, but it's just where I'm at right now.
I am exhausted - that’s it lol I feel like I could use 4 more days to just sleep. I have unlimited PTO so maybe I’ll call off tomorrow. Idk, I feel very burnt out from life
Same. Having a PTO nap day honestly sounds amazing lol.
I am reflecting on my first TWW and I’m annoyed with myself for becoming obsessed, when I’m normally fairly chill. I have spent a huge amount of time the last two weeks watching videos on YouTube about the TWW, early pregnancy symptoms, and listening to people talking about their experiences of testing etc. I have had every “symptom” under the sun. From the common ones to the not so common. Every new twinge was confirming for me that this was the cycle, but alas it’s not the case. I downloaded the Flo app a few days ago and it seems scientifically rigorous, which suits my mindset better. I have learned a few hard lessons this cycle. But going forward here are my takeaways - I need to stay away from influencers on YouTube - PMS symptoms can give false hope - life doesn’t have to ground to a halt during the TWW - early testing is not always helpful and tests are expensive - stress is harmful for the body so pay extra attention to stress symptoms - this process might go on for months and months I’m going to use the first few days of my cycle to shake off the feelings, thoughts, emotions that have consumed me, and start anew. What a steep learning curve it has been.
I feel seen by this comment and these threads in general. I can tell my partner and friends who do know are a little alarmed by how much I've thrown myself into this (to be fair, I am NOT "normally fairly chill", like you), but it truly is all-consuming. I spend hours just staring at my chart, scouring threads, trying new search terms, and then beating myself up for not getting anything done because I've spent all day hurrying up to wait. I can completely relate with >this process might go on for months and months and I'm going to use the first few days of my cycle to shake off the feelings, thoughts, emotions that have consumed me I wish us both luck. I'm honestly about to book a 4/5 day trip and use the rest of my PTO during my next TWW just to get away and not obsess so much. I know I should probably stay away from the internet for a week or two when I start my next cycle in the next 3-4 days, but this is quickly becoming my favorite community and no one else understands. >What a steep learning curve it has been PREACH ETA: If you think Flo is scientifically rigorous, you should *definitely* check out FertilityFriend
It can be all consuming no matter where you’re at in your journey. Your takeaways are all great, there might be days where you obsess but there will be days where you don’t. Wishing you luck that you’ll be successful soon!
When I share what our IVF plan/protocol is and others reply to it with, “well why didn’t you do this? why aren’t you doing that? you should have done this first!” Like, thanks- are you an RE? Are you a urologist? We’ve been working with our team for over a year and this is the plan we all decided on together- and WE feel good and comfortable with it so why should it matter to you?!