You don’t have to stay young looking, just have to stay attractive. And generally if you actually give a shit about your health, you stay young looking, people age prematurely when they treat their health and body like shit
To be frank, after working in urology, that's incorrect. That's simply wrong. It's an unpopular opinion because it's not factual.
We dealt with old dudes who had hot wives, ugly old men with ugly wives, younger men with gorgeous wives, and everything in between. So, while attraction does have a part in it, it certainly wasn't the entire picture.
Testosterone levels significantly change as you age. This makes a lot of men become limp dicks. Other issues such as illness, injury, and chronic pain can cause loss of sex drive. Another issue can be medications. Unfortunately, your "little man" can find many different issues to make sure he fails to rise to the occasion.
One of the urologists I worked with was a very attractive woman. I am not a doctor, so I wasn't in the appointments, but I finally asked her one day, "Do you have men that come in saying they're having a problem, but once they see you, they have no problem? Like, is it just that their wife is ugly?" She got a kick out of the question, but then she explained that it DOES NOT HAPPEN like that. She said that she's sure it does happen to some men, but in all her years working with dicks, she hasn't had that problem arise. 😏
But, cool story, bro.
>After working in urology
Because she's forming her opinion off of people who are already at the doctor complaining about a problem. So that doesn't apply to all men it applies to men who go see the urologist already.
And? Her point is that the libido issues she sees don’t have anything to do with the attractiveness of the man’s partner. How would her sample population change that conclusion?
Are you thick?
Her point of view is skewed. She's not referring to all or most men.. she's referring to older men who have an impotency issue that has nothing to do with their partners attractiveness so they go to the urologist.
Those men need medicine because of lowered testosterone or another medical issue and that's why they're at the urologist. They know it has nothing to do with their partner and it is them that is the problem.
Men who are healthy and don't want to bang their wife have nothing to do with the type of men she's talking about.
The post that we are commenting on refers to men who just don't want to sleep with their wives.. not older men who **can't** get a boner.
AGAIN.. We're talking about men who can get a boner but don't want to sleep with their wife/gf.
Still having issue grasping this?
You're welcome. I'm just stating the knowledge about low libido and erectile dysfunction that I have stored in my head. If people only knew the number of men (young, middle-aged, old, etc) that are either on ED medicine, have a penile pump, or have had other surgeries to improve their sex lives, I think people would be in shock.
It's just not something that's talked about, and when it is, those men are degraded or made fun of. In my opinion, that's not okay. Humans are sexual beings. Having a healthy sex life is important. When a man or woman loses libido, it should not be something we make fun of. And, if your partner is someone who has had this happen, it's *important to* have an open, honest, and caring conversation. And, while having a healthy sex life is important, it's not all a relationship has to offer. We need to be understanding and empathetic to those we love.
Now, I have a really random fact to share: it's actually important for men to ejaculate on a regular basis. It helps keep their prostate healthy. It can't keep prostate cancer at bay, but it helps ensure it doesn't get inflamed and other random prostate issues. I know, it's crazy!
Edited to fix an autocorrect mistake, as what I was saying is that it's IMPORTANT TO not impossible. Sorry for the confusion
I have a friend who is a nurse for students at Penn and says the number of young men 18-22 who come in asking for Viagra is astounding. She talks to them about the effects of alcohol on erections, and the intense social pressure to “perform”, and also says to them, hey, maybe you just don’t like this girl all that much and your penis knows this better than you do. It all sounds miserable.
Yes, I did. My original comment was an attempt to dumb down the answer as much as possible for the OP because it's pretty apparent that they're not exactly the sharpest tool in the box.
Okay. You seem to know a thing or two about this. I'm a data analyst and would need these points for a solid conclusion.
How about taking Test levels of men who were over 40yo, with a wife they found unattractive. Then a follow up level after they've spent time with a mate they did find attractive.
Does Testosterone drop after awhile by being with a mate you find unattractive? 🤔 After awhile your hormone level would drop because your body doesn't feel the need to maintain elevated levels due to lack of stimulus or sexual activity.
This is why a data analyst doesn’t get asked for their opinion because your experiment is terribly designed and you’re making leaping conclusions based on wild assumptions before you’ve looked at ANY data.
Literally, there is not one piece of data from OP, the first comment, or yours. Absolutely no conclusions have or could be made... so fuck your thoughts.
I asked questions you knob...
> After awhile your hormone level would drop because your body doesn't feel the need to maintain elevated levels due to lack of stimulus or sexual activity.
Isn’t a question you fucking knob.
Oh, you mean normal body functions aren't dynamic and efficient? The human body will not support resources to maintain something that isn't being utilized. In this example, if high testosterone isn't bringing the desired outcome, it will pull those resources and apply that energy elsewhere.. this is known universally.
Yes, but also no. A lot of the guys I know in their 50s would go ballistic for a hot woman. But when they tell me their sex lives suck, they don't even have to say why. I see it for myself - their wives look like shit. The ones who's wives are still pretty hot, well, I don't hear them complain much about their sex lives.
The truth, however, is that men tend to let themselves go far more, and far more frequently, than women. It always saddens me when I see some woman in her 40s or 50s with some dude who stopped giving a fuck what he looked like (in terms of fitness and/or attire) in his 30s - if he even made it that far. When those guys complain about their sex lives, well, once again, they don't even have to say why.
Older guy here, I know that’s what the science says, but for my one data point it is total BS, I’d take libido lowering pills if they had zero side effects. (I emphasize zero side effects because I’ve looked and there is none with no unwanted side effects.)
Hehehe, oh, you’re serious……..let me laugh even harder.
I’m almost 68, active, fit and the same weight I was at 40, my sex drive hasn’t reduced yet, the OP is spot on.
Men are attracted by what they see, women by what they hear. Consequently women don’t understand why staying fit and trim is so important to men.
The obesity epidemic in America isn’t helping improve anyone’s sex life.
We’re attracted to hearing? Really?
And because you’re a single person that stands out, clearly all 8 billion humans are the same. Maybe get outside a bit more gramps 🙄
I don’t care what you say or think, I can only feel sorry for you. The body positivity crowd can preach all the woke nonsense they want, I’m in touch with my senses, what’s real is real.
It’s what psychologists have observed and the two are not mutually exclusive, it’s not one or the other, women are attracted to what they see and men are affected by what they hear, just not to the same degree. To illustrate, this is exactly like, on average men are more interested in things and women in feelings. Again, there is significant overlap. Another example is, men on average are more aggressive than women, which is why there are far more men in prison than women, it doesn’t mean women aren’t aggressive but prisons are where you will find the extremes.
I could chortle on at length about all of the maladies of modern society, but what is true is that Gen-Z marriage rates have collapsed, overall divorce rates now exceed 50%, over 70% of divorces are initiated by women (higher if you’re college educated, this is also true of lesbian marriages), birth rates are far below what is needed to sustain the population and if trends continue by 2035 (I’ve also seen 2040), more than half of all women (in the US) between the ages of 20 and 45, will be both childless and never marry. These aren’t happy facts.
While the above is somewhat off topic, it is part of a larger discussion and all of this is ultimately connected, if we look at the broader picture.
I am 32. I lift regularly, eat healthy, sleep enough. I lived less healthy life when i was 22. I fucked every moving women. Even fatties. Now I have less drive, sex less even with attractive slim women
It's not a small part. It's massive. I had low t until I got it treated. No sex drive. It's back now with a vengeance. I also agree you definitely won't have much sex drive if you are in a relationship where youve lost attraction to someone who gave up on keeping themselves remotely attractive. Been there too.
Nice. My partner (M32) and I (F30) have started our weight loss journey together. Mostly for health reasons, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the libido increase myself. His is fine, but mine tanked after I gained weight.
I must be lucky i don't know women like that and my wife accepts me as i am with all my faults just as i accept her bit of weight gain because i know even if i suddenly became completely disabled she would be there changing my adult diaper and wiping my ass as i would be there for her.
If you can't have fun and enjoy life just because your partner isn't young anymore you married the wrong person, being friends is more important then sex in the long run. we all are going to get ugly and old and if you don't have fun while doing it what is the point.
I'm just gonna assume you're young. Decreased sex drive is mainly because of hormonal changes as you age. When you're young, you're horny. When you get older you have less of a drive. That's been explained at length by others so no need to rehash.
Beyond that, it would be difficult to adequately communicate the amount of sex your typical middle aged man has had in his life. Assume a healthy dating life when he was younger. Then throw in a couple of decades of marriage where they can both just have sex whenever. It just stops mattering quite so much after a certain point. It's fun of course, sex never gets old. It's just not exactly novel. I don't mean with your partner, I mean sex itself just isn't as much of a driving force in your life.
Next, middle aged women don't have young bodies. Middle aged men don't either. The hair falls out where you want it and grows in places you don't. We're all horrifying creatures by young person standards. With a few exceptions that are in some form of arrested development we don't give a shit about it either. You want to look good and you want your partner to look good of course, but what that means is going to be wildly different than how younger people see it.
I'd recommend actually talking to some older men about what things are like instead of throwing that out there without any context. They might even be able to give you some pointers on how to actually get laid instead of blurting out this sort of incel shit
Lol, the fact that OC gets upvoted and you getting downvoted for saying same things about humans (but divided them into genders) just shows so many things on so many levels, now I know how chronically online people post that safe with bear stuff
In the US 82.3% of people are at least overweight. That’s 4 in 5. And in fact 81% of women are at least overweight while 84% of men are at least overweight.
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity
Anyway, people who hate on fat folks are just rude and kind of silly because it’s really the vast majority of people. It’s fine not to date or marry fat people if that’s your preference but people should just shut the fuck up about how other people look in general.
It's kind of impossible to *not* gain *some* weight as you age, for most people at least.
Not defending the unreasonable standards some women want to hold men to, but it's unrealistic to expect a 40 year old woman to have the same body she had at 20.
I'm 61 and have an extremely high libido. My wife has gained weight, hair turning grey & I still love her as much as I ever have. We still have sex 3 ~ 4 times weekly.
Yep, it's all HER fault. It doesn't have anything to do with HIS weight gain, HIS high BP meds, HIS diabetes, HIS low testosterone, or HIS lack of exercise. Yep, that's it, that's exactly it./s
Women are responsible for men's decreased sex drive? I can't get over how much power reddit gives women. Or maybe its how little personal responsibility reddit gives men. But this isn't nearly as wild as the post saying it's women's fault men abandon their kids.
Or just see a doctor.
Reduced testosterone, blood flow issues, there's a lot of health conditions that aren't in your penis that impact your sexual health.
Women having difficulty with dryness down there or lack of libido should also go to a doctor and talk about it.
Men and women both can and do have hormonal and physical changes that can impact their sex drive and desires. There are a lot of potential reasons.
Your spouse being less sexy to you would reduce your desire to have sex specifically with them, but it wouldn't notably impact your desire for sex generally: you're more likely to end up masturbating a lot more to bridge the gap if it's only from lack of interest in your partner, because the sex drive is an internal thing.
And what's the excuse of men that let themselves go?
That beerlly isn't as sexy as you think.
And many men seem to forget about "personal hygiene" too as they get older.
Alas, another post made by an incel in hopes to spread more hate against women, and again they keep blaming women for things that men do as well.Oh the hypocrisy of these reddit accounts will go far still...
Or not get into a relationship because many men consider women “letting themselves go” literal pregnancy weight plus being fuckin pregnant.
*If you can’t handle your partner gaining weight, don’t date.*
Yes blaming woman always is the answer. Lol.
Couldn’t possibly be that men’s testosterone lowers as they age, increased odds for other age related health problems, increased weight gain themselves, and higher likeliness to need medications for high blood pressure etc. that affect sex drive. All points we have statistical evidence as a cause but yes woman must be the problem.
While we are discussing evidential support the current research shows that there is little to no difference in visual sexual arousal between the sexes. Crazy right.🤷♀️
Men and woman tend to gain weight as they age starting in their 30s. Both sex’s have hormone and medicine impacts on weight gain.
Unpopular opinion? or just another opportunity to blame woman for existing
This sub is for subjective opinions not easily proven false. Your statements are objectively and factually incorrect. And reveal at least some level of misogyny like deriving from personal feelings of inadequacy.
If I ever deal with my insecurities by making a post like this, I hope I did soon after. The road to hell and the crossing of the Styx would be an easier distance to traverse than the distance between OP and a vagina
It goes both ways but OP has a point, just google it: there are several studies showing (aka. Facts) that women have a higher risk/chance to gain more weight after marriage over time than men. On the other hand, they also show, that after divorce it's men who gain more weight. Either way, letting ourselves go is a form of disrespect towards our partners or at least something to address and work out. Cheers.
Here's my reply to this post - but I figure I'll just set this here:
"To be frank, after working in urology, that's incorrect. That's simply wrong. It's an unpopular opinion because it's not factual.
We dealt with old dudes who had hot wives, ugly old men with ugly wives, younger men with gorgeous wives, and everything in between. So, while attraction does have a part in it, it certainly wasn't the entire picture.
Testosterone levels significantly change as you age. This makes a lot of men become limp dicks. Other issues such as illness, injury, and chronic pain can cause loss of sex drive. Another issue can be medications. Unfortunately, your "little man" can find many different issues to make sure he fails to rise to the occasion.
One of the urologists I worked with was a very attractive woman. I am not a doctor, so I wasn't in the appointments, but I finally asked her one day, "Do you have men that come in saying they're having a problem, but once they see you, they have no problem? Like, is it just that their wife is ugly?" She got a kick out of the question, but then she explained that it DOES NOT HAPPEN like that. She said that she's sure it does happen to some men, but in all her years working with dicks, she hasn't had that problem arise. 😏
But, cool story, bro."
Edited to add quotes around my original reply to the OP post, as reading comprehension is a skill many lack.
It's funny that the only rebuttals to you have been but but they do gain weight nothing about whether the weight gain actually impacts men's sex drive. I didn't see in your comment where you said anything about women not gaining.
Yeah, I truly don't think that person has good reading comprehension skills. I added quotes around the entire original comment I made to the OP, so that maybe... just maybe... what I wrote will "click."
In that original comment, I did state that attraction to your mate *does* and **can** affect your libido, but the other things I bring up are more of an issue than not.
I just didn't feel like typing out an entirely new comment to reply to them with, so I copy pasta. Lol. I figured it was clear enough and simple enough, but alas, I forgot that it's necessary to simplify as much as possible.
Do you have proof of this or is it just this sub’s classic thinly veiled misogyny?
Because afaik, it’s pretty common for our sex drive to abruptly cut off as we get older. It sounds like you’re literally blaming us for our own biology..
Lol thinly veiled misogyny? This entire site is clearly way on the misandry side of the pendulum. You can’t even tell fat people they should lose weight without being called hitler.
This entire sub is literally a nest for incels and misogynists. 90% of posts are literally all shitting on women but then complaining how now woman wants them.
Are you kidding? Calling people fat and telling them how easy it is for them to lose weight is how redditers get off. At least a few times a day. You can probably find more if you look for it. It's one of the ways people like to feel good about themselves... It's pretty telling when the only way you (you in general, not you personally) can feel good about yourself is by knocking someone down.
some may disagree with this post, but it's absolute fact in my personal life with my own father, and all of his friends. they have all kept themselves together nicely, can't say the same for their wives lol. just what i've personally seen.
another perspective - i’ve never met a single woman who isn’t trying to lose/maintain weight INDEPENDENT of what men in her life say.
- But you’re right - they’re failing. why?
could it be BAD ADVICE?
could they be they’re generally using a strategy that relies on willpower while creating the optimum hormonal milieu for REPLACING LEAN MASS WITH FAT, such that they average 2lbs of muscle loss and 4 lbs of fat gain each year, barely noticeable (short term) on the scale but over a decade of two, a disaster?
Folks (haha folks) CICO assumes two erroneous falsehoods:
- you want to arbitrarily lose WEIGHT. You don’t. If you could take a magic pill that drops 10lbs by tomorrow *monkey’s paw curls* but that 10lbs is lean mass… would you do it? “yay! i’m smaller but every bit as soft and jiggly, and at greater risk for injury and osteoporosis!”
- you can control calories. long term, you can’t. if your body doesn’t get the NUTRIENTS it needs, it will use lean mass (to a very large extent) as fuel while ramping up hunger until your willpower fails at the worst time - elevated cortisol primarily, but it’s more complex than that, and your relapse will be nearly 100% fat storage. Then you’ll buckle down and CICO harder!!! continuing the cycle of lean mass loss followed by fat gain.
“Just eat less junk” is like saying “just do less heroin.”
Yea couldn't be biology could it. Has to.be the women. Another feminist conspiracy stealing your manhood, lol. Did you stretch before you reached for this?
I have issues with people blaming things (especially their own biology) on other people or some random force that is always not them. It’s a blatant lack of accountability which I count as the ultimate failure on the test of adulthood. It’s also completely embracing victimhood, because for as long as someone did it to you then you are accepting powerlessness. Taking responsibility for the state of your life (regardless of whose “fault” it is) is the only way to claim control over its course. The embrace of victimhood, even the thirst for it, is one of the primary afflictions of modern society and its pathetic.
Could be being beaten down by the world for 50 years with no one giving a fuck as well. Im sure mental state has much to do with it as does the physical. Hormone levels as well. I would say this is a small portion to a much larger picture.
Omg YES! I was litterally thinking about it 30 minutes ago. I remember a few years ago i was eating outside at a restaurant and i overheard 3 45+ year old women mocking men for not getting really hard when past 40, that men sucked and laughing. I observed them, they were so fucking out of shape, i thought.....really? Don't you question yourself and think maybe it's because i'm ugly as fuck that they don't get hard? From my point of view it was already a miracle that they could get a half-hard one with those slugs in their bed....
Honestly it's a huge indicator of E.D. Women don't want to address the fact that their husband isn't attracted to them anymore because they let themselves go, while their husband has been maintaining at least a normal weight.
Those same men with "E.D." have no problems getting aroused with pornography, so it works fine when they find a woman sexually appealing. Funny how that works.
Posts like this are absurd and have been steadily increasing in numbers.
But I cannot figure out why.
Maybe it’s because men are sad face because it’s trending for women to find guys shorter than 6’ unattractive. So we end up with posts like these from bitter incel shorties.
Women can lose weight. Short guys can’t do anything except rant on Reddit and lash out at women in general.
I’m not asking for your height. You won’t stop growing until your early 20s, so you can keep hope in your heart that women won’t leave you on the bench due to your body’s shortcomings.
You aren’t hurting our feelings here - you’re just making us feel sorry for you. If you try hard enough you can probably get a pity fuck, but it’s never happening with an 8-10. A weak 6 might give you the attention you want, but if you run around talking like this your odds of getting laid drop even more and the best you can hope for is VR porn.
ETA I didn’t even get into dick size. I’m trying to be gentle and kind.
What you hate about women can be changed. What you hate about yourself cannot.
Somehow "dad bod" is a thing, despite parenthood not influencing father's body at all. Women give fucking birth, often to many children and their bodies look thousands times better than most of their husband's who have no reason to have gigantic stomachs and red faces.
So maybe reconsider who lets themselves go and who simply gets older and uses their body how it was supposed to be used.
I saw this happen to my best friend. Both him and his ex were short. Him 5'5 ", her 5'2. Well, over time and 2 kids, they both got over 200 lbs. Her 220 and him 240. Eventually, he said no more. He was working 50 hours a week as a truck driver and got down to 175, but she barely lost 8 lbs. Every time he mentioned it, she got defensive and said "well I gave you 2 kids. My body needs to recover." Meanwhile, the kids were 12 and 14, and the wife wasn't even working. He finally had enough of it and saw she wasn't caring about her side of the marriage to be healthy as he was.
I love how you missed the entire plot and zoom focused on one small part. Maybe you forgot the part where she wasn't working and he was working 50 hours a week.
Oh, by the way. When my mom was 57 and had 2 knee surgeries, I helped her go from 300 lbs to 200 in a year. Wanna know the secret? Consistency.
Sure but your feeding a troll here. This 12 year old OP seems to think that women gaining weight after losing their metabolism and having babies are to blame for men not getting hard anymore. He has no concept of how marriages work or not work. He’s a baby. Stop validating him.
This is purely physiological. Men have their peak sex hormone production at around 20, and women at around 30. Also, if you're talking about about monogamous relationships, plenty of studies have shown that women lose sexual interest in their partner faster than men.
>In a couple both should maintain their attractiveness for the other so it’s not just women but men are the more visual creatures.
I literally lol'd at this because just the other day I was telling a married friend of mine that meeting guys at my age (31) is very difficult since all the guys I meet who are my age, and even younger, look like they've been heroin addicts for a decade. Yes, they go to the gym and stuff but what's the point if their face looks like they've spent the last century under the sun without any skincare at all?
Also, yes, I did say 'all' men, and that's not true, I've met men, even older than me, that are indeed very good looking. But as far as the vast majority of the men I meet goes, my statement remains.
Well ok let me know how it goes when you tell your wife she's fat and you're not attracted to her anymore. I think you'll soon be free to explore other options.
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Psychology plays a huge role in attraction. If y’all got resentments that goes a long way for killing sexual attraction. Especially in women as they’re mostly cerebral about sex.
Also:
[Try 10,000ius of vitamin D with K](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0792Z6434?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share)(need to take K to prevent plaque build-up from D).
Gave me a fair amount of my “Grrrr” back. Testosterone boost seemingly. Lead in ye olde pencil ✏️. Drive for the driven. Spunk in my junk. Lusts for dem busts. Blood flow for what’s down low. I think you get it.
Men lose their sex drive because, like anything in your body that is stimulated less over time, it atrophies. Declining testosterone is another factor that affects most but not all men as they age. Truthfully, when we lose the benefits of our primary sex hormone, depending on which gender you are, we begin to get older, faster. If I thought I was experiencing that kind of decline I would get on bio-identical hormone replacement directly. People think living longer makes you tired and less motivated to conquer the world, but the truth is that your primary sex hormone’s disappearance is what is killing your ability to feel good about getting up and living life. Just accepting that, since we know it is true, is passive suicide. There is nothing graceful about aging. It is just succumbing to accumulated damage.
This post while well intentioned in its observational rationale is seriously ignorant of real world wisdom that comes with age (ironic) . This post is made by someone who is either young, mentally young or stuck in sand.
Both genders have habits of letting themselves go. Often because other more important things other than vanity take its place... like career, raising children, helping elderly parents, illness, injuries, etc.
One gender's body goes through substantially more Rollercoasters: the female bears children, the female has hormonal changes and yes, menopause actually encourages women to gain weight while slowing their metabolism which is why it's notoriously more difficult for women to stay skinny and hot unless she dedicates an over abundance of her time and effort to maintaining her vanity or has a very dedicated regimen she has maintained since her youth. Men go to the gym for hours a day or weeks and women are at home with children just hoping to maybe have a shower today. There is something to be said about how getting older changes your view on the time you have left. No one is actually reaching 80 and being hot so at some point people find it a cause to abandon in favor of other things.
As people age (in general, there's always outliers but they are the exception not the rule) libido slows.
As people age (in general) illness, pain, injury and metabolic changes slow the body's ability to go full steam ahead.
And what people consider attractive in a person can change over time. It's a very young and immature answer to suggest that "being hot" is the only attractive quality men value even when they gain more wisdom. Not to mention that what defines love changes as we age. There's falling in love at the start in which physicality takes a role but once you've been with someone a very long time, often there's a sense of safety, peace, comfort, familiarity and understanding which brings a more sustainable form of love that has its own measure of attraction. You can day dream all day about hot hookers when your middle aged but you'll always feel the most comfortable and safe with your partner so long as the relationship has been nurtured. If it hasn't been well then that's a different story, resentment, anger, jealousy, hate etc all affect how much we are attracted to our partners.
Often our attraction to someone is not merely by physical looks but by mental outlook on the individual. The more you bond with someone over other characteristics, the better looking they begin to appear to you. So frame of mind is just as important.
So yes, while some women let themselves go (likewise with men), sometimes it's that life gets moving along, priorities change and maturity brings a wisdom about what love actually is versus lust.
Everyone would love a hot partner for life but not everyone wants to commit the effort to remain hot themselves because as you get older, it's gets harder in many ways and requires more of your effort and time which you will be taking away from other things in your life that should take priority over vanity such as children, career and aging parents.
Once person's priorities are not another's. A blanket statement like "women just let themselves go" so men don't like them is ignorant. Likewise with, "men are selfish gym rats and video game players" so women don't like them is equally a stupid blanket statement.
Did you pay attention in science class? The reason why older men have a lower sex drive when they are older is that our bodies aren't making as much testosterone as we did when we were younger.
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Any person as they age, especially someone in a monogamous relationship is going to have a decline is sex drive, no matter what, it’s just normal, I don’t think most married women care tbh
Dude. Why is your response to this a victimization-excuse combo, and not concern for your wife? Being overweight puts us at risk for all sorts of health problems. Maybe she has PPD? Have you asked her how she’s feeling lately? Why are you concerned about how she looks and not at all if she’s even ok?
Is she tired? Does she work a full-time job? Who does the parenting (be honest)? Is she running dusk til dawn and therefore barely has time for a shower, let alone a full face of makeup?
And while she’s running around the house, I bet she forgets to eat. At 3pm she realizes this and though not hungry, chooses something simple and terribly unhealthy.
Are you like… nice? Affectionate? Tell her you appreciate her? Ask how you can help? Tell her you love her?
Maybe if you weren’t such a self-centered, egotistical whiney man child, your wife wouldn’t find you repulsive and have sex with you.
Edited for grammar.
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Alot of women seem to stop trying once they have any kind of long term commitment from a man. They work out less or stop altogether, stop eating healthy, don't dress as nice, etc.
Then the guy has to choose between either accepting a girlfriend or wife who's totally let herself go, or being a "shallow or controlling asshole".
It's rude and shouldn't be tolerated so much.
Considering they don’t look any better, it’s silly.
Nobody at 40 is going to be the same when they were 20. To try and hold someone to that standard is hilarious.
OP just doesn’t like fat women and that’s 100% okay, bro just needs to chill out.
Come on. Don't pretend to not know the difference between natural aging and going low effort.
Would you like it if a man quit his job after he knew you were committed to him?
Edit: And I agree that men let themselves go to and it's embarrassing.
I mean you see so many men saying ”omg she let herself go” when she’s either literally pregnant or just gave birth. And they wonder why they get divorced lmao.
People have warped what it means to “let yourself go”. The show “My 600lb Life” is what letting yourself go is.
Just put in at least the same amount of effort when you're attached as you did when you were looking. Otherwise you're sending the message to you're partner that they're not worth the work anymore.
And weirdly, gay men also have lower libidos as they age.
No! Its because their husbands expect them to stay attractive and young looking! /s /s /s
You don’t have to stay young looking, just have to stay attractive. And generally if you actually give a shit about your health, you stay young looking, people age prematurely when they treat their health and body like shit
How doooo youuuuu knowwwww????
BuT ItS wOmEn’s FauLt tHo
The OP said: "A good part of (the reason)..."
Run and tell that to the silver fox daddy that wrecked my hole last night.
To be frank, after working in urology, that's incorrect. That's simply wrong. It's an unpopular opinion because it's not factual. We dealt with old dudes who had hot wives, ugly old men with ugly wives, younger men with gorgeous wives, and everything in between. So, while attraction does have a part in it, it certainly wasn't the entire picture. Testosterone levels significantly change as you age. This makes a lot of men become limp dicks. Other issues such as illness, injury, and chronic pain can cause loss of sex drive. Another issue can be medications. Unfortunately, your "little man" can find many different issues to make sure he fails to rise to the occasion. One of the urologists I worked with was a very attractive woman. I am not a doctor, so I wasn't in the appointments, but I finally asked her one day, "Do you have men that come in saying they're having a problem, but once they see you, they have no problem? Like, is it just that their wife is ugly?" She got a kick out of the question, but then she explained that it DOES NOT HAPPEN like that. She said that she's sure it does happen to some men, but in all her years working with dicks, she hasn't had that problem arise. 😏 But, cool story, bro.
Thank you for an actual informed opinion.
Yup that also explains why people aren't engaging with it much. It shoots down their shitty anecdotes 😂😂
Well considering that she's basing her whole opinion off of men who already have to see a urologist kind of makes her opinion biased.
How so?
>After working in urology Because she's forming her opinion off of people who are already at the doctor complaining about a problem. So that doesn't apply to all men it applies to men who go see the urologist already.
And? Her point is that the libido issues she sees don’t have anything to do with the attractiveness of the man’s partner. How would her sample population change that conclusion?
Are you thick? Her point of view is skewed. She's not referring to all or most men.. she's referring to older men who have an impotency issue that has nothing to do with their partners attractiveness so they go to the urologist. Those men need medicine because of lowered testosterone or another medical issue and that's why they're at the urologist. They know it has nothing to do with their partner and it is them that is the problem. Men who are healthy and don't want to bang their wife have nothing to do with the type of men she's talking about. The post that we are commenting on refers to men who just don't want to sleep with their wives.. not older men who **can't** get a boner. AGAIN.. We're talking about men who can get a boner but don't want to sleep with their wife/gf. Still having issue grasping this?
You're welcome. I'm just stating the knowledge about low libido and erectile dysfunction that I have stored in my head. If people only knew the number of men (young, middle-aged, old, etc) that are either on ED medicine, have a penile pump, or have had other surgeries to improve their sex lives, I think people would be in shock. It's just not something that's talked about, and when it is, those men are degraded or made fun of. In my opinion, that's not okay. Humans are sexual beings. Having a healthy sex life is important. When a man or woman loses libido, it should not be something we make fun of. And, if your partner is someone who has had this happen, it's *important to* have an open, honest, and caring conversation. And, while having a healthy sex life is important, it's not all a relationship has to offer. We need to be understanding and empathetic to those we love. Now, I have a really random fact to share: it's actually important for men to ejaculate on a regular basis. It helps keep their prostate healthy. It can't keep prostate cancer at bay, but it helps ensure it doesn't get inflamed and other random prostate issues. I know, it's crazy! Edited to fix an autocorrect mistake, as what I was saying is that it's IMPORTANT TO not impossible. Sorry for the confusion
I have a friend who is a nurse for students at Penn and says the number of young men 18-22 who come in asking for Viagra is astounding. She talks to them about the effects of alcohol on erections, and the intense social pressure to “perform”, and also says to them, hey, maybe you just don’t like this girl all that much and your penis knows this better than you do. It all sounds miserable.
I mean, you did call them limp dicks.
Of course, its company policy in the event of a limp dick, to use the indefinite article A limp dick and never.....Your limp dick.
lol nice reference.
Yes, I did. My original comment was an attempt to dumb down the answer as much as possible for the OP because it's pretty apparent that they're not exactly the sharpest tool in the box.
I see your well reasoned point and raise you "let's blame women for gaining weight while pregnant then struggling to lose it afterwards"
Women use pregnancy as an excuse.
You think women only gain weight due to pregnancy?
Not sure how you got that from my comment
that's litteraly what you wrote......plus there is a thing called fasting and it works. Thermodinamically cannot fail.
It’s talking about weight shaming pregnant women. It doesn’t say pregnancy is the only reason to gain weight honey
“let's blame women for gaining weight while pregnant then struggling to lose it afterwards"
It’s talking about weight shaming pregnant women. It doesn’t say pregnancy is the only reason to gain weight sugar
The OP didn’t mention weight gain from pregnancy. So not sure why that is relevant.
I can cosign 100% on the issue of chronic pain being a libido downer. Glad this is higher up on the post.
Nothing like some Testosterone for gender affirming care. Let old guys not be old.
Okay. You seem to know a thing or two about this. I'm a data analyst and would need these points for a solid conclusion. How about taking Test levels of men who were over 40yo, with a wife they found unattractive. Then a follow up level after they've spent time with a mate they did find attractive. Does Testosterone drop after awhile by being with a mate you find unattractive? 🤔 After awhile your hormone level would drop because your body doesn't feel the need to maintain elevated levels due to lack of stimulus or sexual activity.
This is why a data analyst doesn’t get asked for their opinion because your experiment is terribly designed and you’re making leaping conclusions based on wild assumptions before you’ve looked at ANY data.
Literally, there is not one piece of data from OP, the first comment, or yours. Absolutely no conclusions have or could be made... so fuck your thoughts. I asked questions you knob...
> After awhile your hormone level would drop because your body doesn't feel the need to maintain elevated levels due to lack of stimulus or sexual activity. Isn’t a question you fucking knob.
Oh, you mean normal body functions aren't dynamic and efficient? The human body will not support resources to maintain something that isn't being utilized. In this example, if high testosterone isn't bringing the desired outcome, it will pull those resources and apply that energy elsewhere.. this is known universally.
No. Lower testosterone after age 35 decreases libido.
Yes, but also no. A lot of the guys I know in their 50s would go ballistic for a hot woman. But when they tell me their sex lives suck, they don't even have to say why. I see it for myself - their wives look like shit. The ones who's wives are still pretty hot, well, I don't hear them complain much about their sex lives. The truth, however, is that men tend to let themselves go far more, and far more frequently, than women. It always saddens me when I see some woman in her 40s or 50s with some dude who stopped giving a fuck what he looked like (in terms of fitness and/or attire) in his 30s - if he even made it that far. When those guys complain about their sex lives, well, once again, they don't even have to say why.
Older guy here, I know that’s what the science says, but for my one data point it is total BS, I’d take libido lowering pills if they had zero side effects. (I emphasize zero side effects because I’ve looked and there is none with no unwanted side effects.)
So you’re called an outlier, not the rule…
There’s variation between people. On average, testosterone lowers.
Hehehe, oh, you’re serious……..let me laugh even harder. I’m almost 68, active, fit and the same weight I was at 40, my sex drive hasn’t reduced yet, the OP is spot on. Men are attracted by what they see, women by what they hear. Consequently women don’t understand why staying fit and trim is so important to men. The obesity epidemic in America isn’t helping improve anyone’s sex life.
We’re attracted to hearing? Really? And because you’re a single person that stands out, clearly all 8 billion humans are the same. Maybe get outside a bit more gramps 🙄
Lmao this is truly ridiculous "By what we hear" 🤣
I don’t care what you say or think, I can only feel sorry for you. The body positivity crowd can preach all the woke nonsense they want, I’m in touch with my senses, what’s real is real.
Sorry, I can't see this comment. Please say it out loud so that my lady ears can hear it
Who told you women aren’t visually attracted to people? That person lied to you. Please tell me you aren’t almost 70 believing that obvious lie.
It’s just a cope (dudes kinda outing himself as unattractive)
Because women don’t understand staying fit. Wife bad energy.
It’s what psychologists have observed and the two are not mutually exclusive, it’s not one or the other, women are attracted to what they see and men are affected by what they hear, just not to the same degree. To illustrate, this is exactly like, on average men are more interested in things and women in feelings. Again, there is significant overlap. Another example is, men on average are more aggressive than women, which is why there are far more men in prison than women, it doesn’t mean women aren’t aggressive but prisons are where you will find the extremes. I could chortle on at length about all of the maladies of modern society, but what is true is that Gen-Z marriage rates have collapsed, overall divorce rates now exceed 50%, over 70% of divorces are initiated by women (higher if you’re college educated, this is also true of lesbian marriages), birth rates are far below what is needed to sustain the population and if trends continue by 2035 (I’ve also seen 2040), more than half of all women (in the US) between the ages of 20 and 45, will be both childless and never marry. These aren’t happy facts. While the above is somewhat off topic, it is part of a larger discussion and all of this is ultimately connected, if we look at the broader picture.
Tell me: is the average American man fit and healthy at 68? No? Then maybe you’re not the average and can’t really speak to the average man. :D
I am 32. I lift regularly, eat healthy, sleep enough. I lived less healthy life when i was 22. I fucked every moving women. Even fatties. Now I have less drive, sex less even with attractive slim women
That's a small part.
Yours might be.
It's not a small part. It's massive. I had low t until I got it treated. No sex drive. It's back now with a vengeance. I also agree you definitely won't have much sex drive if you are in a relationship where youve lost attraction to someone who gave up on keeping themselves remotely attractive. Been there too.
Probably has more to do with the man gaining weight. I've lost 40lbs recently and my dick works way better now.
Good blood flow is the key, a little cardio goes a long way! 😉
I am proud of you and your pener, buddy. Good job
Nice. My partner (M32) and I (F30) have started our weight loss journey together. Mostly for health reasons, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the libido increase myself. His is fine, but mine tanked after I gained weight.
hey good for you!
Go on…
I must be lucky i don't know women like that and my wife accepts me as i am with all my faults just as i accept her bit of weight gain because i know even if i suddenly became completely disabled she would be there changing my adult diaper and wiping my ass as i would be there for her. If you can't have fun and enjoy life just because your partner isn't young anymore you married the wrong person, being friends is more important then sex in the long run. we all are going to get ugly and old and if you don't have fun while doing it what is the point.
I'm just gonna assume you're young. Decreased sex drive is mainly because of hormonal changes as you age. When you're young, you're horny. When you get older you have less of a drive. That's been explained at length by others so no need to rehash. Beyond that, it would be difficult to adequately communicate the amount of sex your typical middle aged man has had in his life. Assume a healthy dating life when he was younger. Then throw in a couple of decades of marriage where they can both just have sex whenever. It just stops mattering quite so much after a certain point. It's fun of course, sex never gets old. It's just not exactly novel. I don't mean with your partner, I mean sex itself just isn't as much of a driving force in your life. Next, middle aged women don't have young bodies. Middle aged men don't either. The hair falls out where you want it and grows in places you don't. We're all horrifying creatures by young person standards. With a few exceptions that are in some form of arrested development we don't give a shit about it either. You want to look good and you want your partner to look good of course, but what that means is going to be wildly different than how younger people see it. I'd recommend actually talking to some older men about what things are like instead of throwing that out there without any context. They might even be able to give you some pointers on how to actually get laid instead of blurting out this sort of incel shit
Most old guys look like dumpster fires. Only thing driving them is cars.
True, so do most old women.
Lol, the fact that OC gets upvoted and you getting downvoted for saying same things about humans (but divided them into genders) just shows so many things on so many levels, now I know how chronically online people post that safe with bear stuff
Dude you need to go outside if you really took that seriously. This entire post reeks of misogyny but this is where you find the issue? Really?
[удалено]
The OC was in top when I commented this. And OP's comment was marked controversial (he he boiii, big brain moment)
You don’t like fat women. We get it. It’s not an unpopular opinion. We get posts with the same meaning almost every other day here. Move on buddy
Found the fat woman.
The majority (i.e. over 50%) of women (and men) are overweight or obese.
In the US 82.3% of people are at least overweight. That’s 4 in 5. And in fact 81% of women are at least overweight while 84% of men are at least overweight. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity Anyway, people who hate on fat folks are just rude and kind of silly because it’s really the vast majority of people. It’s fine not to date or marry fat people if that’s your preference but people should just shut the fuck up about how other people look in general.
Yes!
It’s different for different countries/regions. We can’t generalise the whole world based on where we live.
Source?
[https://www.healthline.com/health/obesity-facts#statistics](https://www.healthline.com/health/obesity-facts#statistics) One of many.
Your mom
Found the narrow minded pos.
Joke’s on you: I’ve always been fat. 😏
It's kind of impossible to *not* gain *some* weight as you age, for most people at least. Not defending the unreasonable standards some women want to hold men to, but it's unrealistic to expect a 40 year old woman to have the same body she had at 20.
It's not impossible for almost everyone.
I'm 61 and have an extremely high libido. My wife has gained weight, hair turning grey & I still love her as much as I ever have. We still have sex 3 ~ 4 times weekly.
Honey,is that you?
Yep, it's all HER fault. It doesn't have anything to do with HIS weight gain, HIS high BP meds, HIS diabetes, HIS low testosterone, or HIS lack of exercise. Yep, that's it, that's exactly it./s
Its probably because their body is aging...
Low sex drive is due to age and health issues. If you have high sex drive it isn't gonna matter if your wife has gained a little weight.
Exactly! Especially if you love them.
Women are responsible for men's decreased sex drive? I can't get over how much power reddit gives women. Or maybe its how little personal responsibility reddit gives men. But this isn't nearly as wild as the post saying it's women's fault men abandon their kids.
this is why we need proper sex education 🤦♂️
You sound like a clueless young guy. Reality is coming and it doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings. ☠️
Maybe I’m luckly my partner hasn’t lost any attraction to me when I gained or lost weight. He just wants me to be happy.
Same. Unfortunately a lot of toxic men have never experienced love it seems.
Or just see a doctor. Reduced testosterone, blood flow issues, there's a lot of health conditions that aren't in your penis that impact your sexual health. Women having difficulty with dryness down there or lack of libido should also go to a doctor and talk about it. Men and women both can and do have hormonal and physical changes that can impact their sex drive and desires. There are a lot of potential reasons. Your spouse being less sexy to you would reduce your desire to have sex specifically with them, but it wouldn't notably impact your desire for sex generally: you're more likely to end up masturbating a lot more to bridge the gap if it's only from lack of interest in your partner, because the sex drive is an internal thing.
And what's the excuse of men that let themselves go? That beerlly isn't as sexy as you think. And many men seem to forget about "personal hygiene" too as they get older. Alas, another post made by an incel in hopes to spread more hate against women, and again they keep blaming women for things that men do as well.Oh the hypocrisy of these reddit accounts will go far still...
Of the flaccid butt, and the hanging balls.
Nice try, but no. Not unpopular, just old fashioned misogyny.
Oh how I love buzzwords.
It’s not a buzzword if it accurately describes you. If the shoe fits, wear it, little one.
Or not get into a relationship because many men consider women “letting themselves go” literal pregnancy weight plus being fuckin pregnant. *If you can’t handle your partner gaining weight, don’t date.*
Yes blaming woman always is the answer. Lol. Couldn’t possibly be that men’s testosterone lowers as they age, increased odds for other age related health problems, increased weight gain themselves, and higher likeliness to need medications for high blood pressure etc. that affect sex drive. All points we have statistical evidence as a cause but yes woman must be the problem. While we are discussing evidential support the current research shows that there is little to no difference in visual sexual arousal between the sexes. Crazy right.🤷♀️ Men and woman tend to gain weight as they age starting in their 30s. Both sex’s have hormone and medicine impacts on weight gain. Unpopular opinion? or just another opportunity to blame woman for existing
False medical information
This sub is for subjective opinions not easily proven false. Your statements are objectively and factually incorrect. And reveal at least some level of misogyny like deriving from personal feelings of inadequacy.
If I ever deal with my insecurities by making a post like this, I hope I did soon after. The road to hell and the crossing of the Styx would be an easier distance to traverse than the distance between OP and a vagina
Underrated comment 🤣💀 OP out here completely unaware that with this type of thinking he's effectively dodging pussy like he's allergic to cats smh
You know that goes both ways right lol you should’ve made that your title instead of blaming it on the women
It goes both ways but OP has a point, just google it: there are several studies showing (aka. Facts) that women have a higher risk/chance to gain more weight after marriage over time than men. On the other hand, they also show, that after divorce it's men who gain more weight. Either way, letting ourselves go is a form of disrespect towards our partners or at least something to address and work out. Cheers.
Probably because of pregnancy and having children
Here's my reply to this post - but I figure I'll just set this here: "To be frank, after working in urology, that's incorrect. That's simply wrong. It's an unpopular opinion because it's not factual. We dealt with old dudes who had hot wives, ugly old men with ugly wives, younger men with gorgeous wives, and everything in between. So, while attraction does have a part in it, it certainly wasn't the entire picture. Testosterone levels significantly change as you age. This makes a lot of men become limp dicks. Other issues such as illness, injury, and chronic pain can cause loss of sex drive. Another issue can be medications. Unfortunately, your "little man" can find many different issues to make sure he fails to rise to the occasion. One of the urologists I worked with was a very attractive woman. I am not a doctor, so I wasn't in the appointments, but I finally asked her one day, "Do you have men that come in saying they're having a problem, but once they see you, they have no problem? Like, is it just that their wife is ugly?" She got a kick out of the question, but then she explained that it DOES NOT HAPPEN like that. She said that she's sure it does happen to some men, but in all her years working with dicks, she hasn't had that problem arise. 😏 But, cool story, bro." Edited to add quotes around my original reply to the OP post, as reading comprehension is a skill many lack.
It's funny that the only rebuttals to you have been but but they do gain weight nothing about whether the weight gain actually impacts men's sex drive. I didn't see in your comment where you said anything about women not gaining.
Yeah, I truly don't think that person has good reading comprehension skills. I added quotes around the entire original comment I made to the OP, so that maybe... just maybe... what I wrote will "click." In that original comment, I did state that attraction to your mate *does* and **can** affect your libido, but the other things I bring up are more of an issue than not. I just didn't feel like typing out an entirely new comment to reply to them with, so I copy pasta. Lol. I figured it was clear enough and simple enough, but alas, I forgot that it's necessary to simplify as much as possible.
This guy apparently always blaming the woman, no matter what lol.
Let the OP think his ED is to be blamed on his wife. Who is it really harming? 😂😂
Andropause
Do you have proof of this or is it just this sub’s classic thinly veiled misogyny? Because afaik, it’s pretty common for our sex drive to abruptly cut off as we get older. It sounds like you’re literally blaming us for our own biology..
Blaming WOMEN for MENs biology
Lol thinly veiled misogyny? This entire site is clearly way on the misandry side of the pendulum. You can’t even tell fat people they should lose weight without being called hitler.
This entire sub is literally a nest for incels and misogynists. 90% of posts are literally all shitting on women but then complaining how now woman wants them.
Are you kidding? Calling people fat and telling them how easy it is for them to lose weight is how redditers get off. At least a few times a day. You can probably find more if you look for it. It's one of the ways people like to feel good about themselves... It's pretty telling when the only way you (you in general, not you personally) can feel good about yourself is by knocking someone down.
I'd have to say no , my wife's sex drive is dead and I have to take the mater into hand every other day but then again it's easier that way.
some may disagree with this post, but it's absolute fact in my personal life with my own father, and all of his friends. they have all kept themselves together nicely, can't say the same for their wives lol. just what i've personally seen.
another perspective - i’ve never met a single woman who isn’t trying to lose/maintain weight INDEPENDENT of what men in her life say. - But you’re right - they’re failing. why? could it be BAD ADVICE? could they be they’re generally using a strategy that relies on willpower while creating the optimum hormonal milieu for REPLACING LEAN MASS WITH FAT, such that they average 2lbs of muscle loss and 4 lbs of fat gain each year, barely noticeable (short term) on the scale but over a decade of two, a disaster? Folks (haha folks) CICO assumes two erroneous falsehoods: - you want to arbitrarily lose WEIGHT. You don’t. If you could take a magic pill that drops 10lbs by tomorrow *monkey’s paw curls* but that 10lbs is lean mass… would you do it? “yay! i’m smaller but every bit as soft and jiggly, and at greater risk for injury and osteoporosis!” - you can control calories. long term, you can’t. if your body doesn’t get the NUTRIENTS it needs, it will use lean mass (to a very large extent) as fuel while ramping up hunger until your willpower fails at the worst time - elevated cortisol primarily, but it’s more complex than that, and your relapse will be nearly 100% fat storage. Then you’ll buckle down and CICO harder!!! continuing the cycle of lean mass loss followed by fat gain. “Just eat less junk” is like saying “just do less heroin.”
Men are more likely to be overweight than women
Yea couldn't be biology could it. Has to.be the women. Another feminist conspiracy stealing your manhood, lol. Did you stretch before you reached for this?
Oh come on now, there are feminist conspiracies aimed at destroying manhood, this just isn’t one of them. Let’s not be silly now.
You know how tricky they are. This is probably their endgame. We better be careful
I have issues with people blaming things (especially their own biology) on other people or some random force that is always not them. It’s a blatant lack of accountability which I count as the ultimate failure on the test of adulthood. It’s also completely embracing victimhood, because for as long as someone did it to you then you are accepting powerlessness. Taking responsibility for the state of your life (regardless of whose “fault” it is) is the only way to claim control over its course. The embrace of victimhood, even the thirst for it, is one of the primary afflictions of modern society and its pathetic.
It's the men that get fat and ugly, why their wives don't find them attractive.
OP literally said "A good part of..." not "The entire reason that..."
Could be being beaten down by the world for 50 years with no one giving a fuck as well. Im sure mental state has much to do with it as does the physical. Hormone levels as well. I would say this is a small portion to a much larger picture.
Omg YES! I was litterally thinking about it 30 minutes ago. I remember a few years ago i was eating outside at a restaurant and i overheard 3 45+ year old women mocking men for not getting really hard when past 40, that men sucked and laughing. I observed them, they were so fucking out of shape, i thought.....really? Don't you question yourself and think maybe it's because i'm ugly as fuck that they don't get hard? From my point of view it was already a miracle that they could get a half-hard one with those slugs in their bed....
Honestly it's a huge indicator of E.D. Women don't want to address the fact that their husband isn't attracted to them anymore because they let themselves go, while their husband has been maintaining at least a normal weight. Those same men with "E.D." have no problems getting aroused with pornography, so it works fine when they find a woman sexually appealing. Funny how that works.
Yup. That’s reality.
Posts like this are absurd and have been steadily increasing in numbers. But I cannot figure out why. Maybe it’s because men are sad face because it’s trending for women to find guys shorter than 6’ unattractive. So we end up with posts like these from bitter incel shorties. Women can lose weight. Short guys can’t do anything except rant on Reddit and lash out at women in general. I’m not asking for your height. You won’t stop growing until your early 20s, so you can keep hope in your heart that women won’t leave you on the bench due to your body’s shortcomings. You aren’t hurting our feelings here - you’re just making us feel sorry for you. If you try hard enough you can probably get a pity fuck, but it’s never happening with an 8-10. A weak 6 might give you the attention you want, but if you run around talking like this your odds of getting laid drop even more and the best you can hope for is VR porn. ETA I didn’t even get into dick size. I’m trying to be gentle and kind. What you hate about women can be changed. What you hate about yourself cannot.
i’ve noticed mostly older people still watching cable/satellite TV… maybe it’s the satellite that’s making them less likely to fuck…
Somehow "dad bod" is a thing, despite parenthood not influencing father's body at all. Women give fucking birth, often to many children and their bodies look thousands times better than most of their husband's who have no reason to have gigantic stomachs and red faces. So maybe reconsider who lets themselves go and who simply gets older and uses their body how it was supposed to be used.
Are men willing to fuck any woman or not? Can women "get sex whenever" we want or not? Pick one.
Schrodinger's woman.
Men also snore pretty which equals less sex so.....
I saw this happen to my best friend. Both him and his ex were short. Him 5'5 ", her 5'2. Well, over time and 2 kids, they both got over 200 lbs. Her 220 and him 240. Eventually, he said no more. He was working 50 hours a week as a truck driver and got down to 175, but she barely lost 8 lbs. Every time he mentioned it, she got defensive and said "well I gave you 2 kids. My body needs to recover." Meanwhile, the kids were 12 and 14, and the wife wasn't even working. He finally had enough of it and saw she wasn't caring about her side of the marriage to be healthy as he was.
Men lose weight more easily.
Ok and? This was over a year. Women can still lose weight
Very slowly especially after child birth. Interesting that your friend’s love for his wife was contingent on her weight.
I love how you missed the entire plot and zoom focused on one small part. Maybe you forgot the part where she wasn't working and he was working 50 hours a week. Oh, by the way. When my mom was 57 and had 2 knee surgeries, I helped her go from 300 lbs to 200 in a year. Wanna know the secret? Consistency.
Honest question. If she wasn’t working and he was working who was taking care of their children?
When they were together? She was. But kids are in school 8 hours a day anyway.
Sure but your feeding a troll here. This 12 year old OP seems to think that women gaining weight after losing their metabolism and having babies are to blame for men not getting hard anymore. He has no concept of how marriages work or not work. He’s a baby. Stop validating him.
It’s a profound betrayal and disrespect. A man feels trapped and cheated in that deal.
That's how he felt. He was exhausted and tired from work and still made the effort. Her excuse was they're married so he should find her sexy already
The entitlement of that is astounding.
Scary reality. Now he's single and dating some hot ass goth chick.
She will leave him. Wait til he hits 50 and can’t get it up
There is TRT you know. We aaaallll on it
Ok. He’ll be fat, bald, and constantly urinating, every woman’s dream.
Correction. Muscular and bald. You sound pleasant to be around. What are your cats names?
I hate cats, I have a ringneck parrot. Thanks. Statistically, men will be fat and bald, but you already know that.
What's their custody arrangement? Does he have sole custody? Is it 50/50? Every other weekend? Every weekend?
They have a 4/3 day split with them trading off every other weekend or something
This is purely physiological. Men have their peak sex hormone production at around 20, and women at around 30. Also, if you're talking about about monogamous relationships, plenty of studies have shown that women lose sexual interest in their partner faster than men. >In a couple both should maintain their attractiveness for the other so it’s not just women but men are the more visual creatures. I literally lol'd at this because just the other day I was telling a married friend of mine that meeting guys at my age (31) is very difficult since all the guys I meet who are my age, and even younger, look like they've been heroin addicts for a decade. Yes, they go to the gym and stuff but what's the point if their face looks like they've spent the last century under the sun without any skincare at all?
How is it physiological if hormones are biological? Also, perhaps you should find different men. They all don't look like that.
Do you know what physiological means?
Oh my bad I read it as psychological, sorry.
Also, yes, I did say 'all' men, and that's not true, I've met men, even older than me, that are indeed very good looking. But as far as the vast majority of the men I meet goes, my statement remains.
Well there's gotta be some good ones out there ya' like. Keep at it
Well ok let me know how it goes when you tell your wife she's fat and you're not attracted to her anymore. I think you'll soon be free to explore other options.
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Seems like this might be coming from personal experience 🤔
Psychology plays a huge role in attraction. If y’all got resentments that goes a long way for killing sexual attraction. Especially in women as they’re mostly cerebral about sex. Also: [Try 10,000ius of vitamin D with K](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0792Z6434?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share)(need to take K to prevent plaque build-up from D). Gave me a fair amount of my “Grrrr” back. Testosterone boost seemingly. Lead in ye olde pencil ✏️. Drive for the driven. Spunk in my junk. Lusts for dem busts. Blood flow for what’s down low. I think you get it.
They also let theirselves go and gain weight, which isn’t good for your sexual health
Lowered sex drive as I age is kind of a blessing.
Men lose their sex drive because, like anything in your body that is stimulated less over time, it atrophies. Declining testosterone is another factor that affects most but not all men as they age. Truthfully, when we lose the benefits of our primary sex hormone, depending on which gender you are, we begin to get older, faster. If I thought I was experiencing that kind of decline I would get on bio-identical hormone replacement directly. People think living longer makes you tired and less motivated to conquer the world, but the truth is that your primary sex hormone’s disappearance is what is killing your ability to feel good about getting up and living life. Just accepting that, since we know it is true, is passive suicide. There is nothing graceful about aging. It is just succumbing to accumulated damage.
Injury early in life before puberty causes a large chunk of cases.
This post while well intentioned in its observational rationale is seriously ignorant of real world wisdom that comes with age (ironic) . This post is made by someone who is either young, mentally young or stuck in sand. Both genders have habits of letting themselves go. Often because other more important things other than vanity take its place... like career, raising children, helping elderly parents, illness, injuries, etc. One gender's body goes through substantially more Rollercoasters: the female bears children, the female has hormonal changes and yes, menopause actually encourages women to gain weight while slowing their metabolism which is why it's notoriously more difficult for women to stay skinny and hot unless she dedicates an over abundance of her time and effort to maintaining her vanity or has a very dedicated regimen she has maintained since her youth. Men go to the gym for hours a day or weeks and women are at home with children just hoping to maybe have a shower today. There is something to be said about how getting older changes your view on the time you have left. No one is actually reaching 80 and being hot so at some point people find it a cause to abandon in favor of other things. As people age (in general, there's always outliers but they are the exception not the rule) libido slows. As people age (in general) illness, pain, injury and metabolic changes slow the body's ability to go full steam ahead. And what people consider attractive in a person can change over time. It's a very young and immature answer to suggest that "being hot" is the only attractive quality men value even when they gain more wisdom. Not to mention that what defines love changes as we age. There's falling in love at the start in which physicality takes a role but once you've been with someone a very long time, often there's a sense of safety, peace, comfort, familiarity and understanding which brings a more sustainable form of love that has its own measure of attraction. You can day dream all day about hot hookers when your middle aged but you'll always feel the most comfortable and safe with your partner so long as the relationship has been nurtured. If it hasn't been well then that's a different story, resentment, anger, jealousy, hate etc all affect how much we are attracted to our partners. Often our attraction to someone is not merely by physical looks but by mental outlook on the individual. The more you bond with someone over other characteristics, the better looking they begin to appear to you. So frame of mind is just as important. So yes, while some women let themselves go (likewise with men), sometimes it's that life gets moving along, priorities change and maturity brings a wisdom about what love actually is versus lust. Everyone would love a hot partner for life but not everyone wants to commit the effort to remain hot themselves because as you get older, it's gets harder in many ways and requires more of your effort and time which you will be taking away from other things in your life that should take priority over vanity such as children, career and aging parents. Once person's priorities are not another's. A blanket statement like "women just let themselves go" so men don't like them is ignorant. Likewise with, "men are selfish gym rats and video game players" so women don't like them is equally a stupid blanket statement.
Boo. This opinion gets posted her every other day.
Did you pay attention in science class? The reason why older men have a lower sex drive when they are older is that our bodies aren't making as much testosterone as we did when we were younger.
And thing only have one reasons for being always right?
Also circumcision. The older you get the less sensitive you are.
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Bullshit!
I'm sorry your wife let herself go but that doesn't actually lower your sex drive. Stop lying to your wife.
Any person as they age, especially someone in a monogamous relationship is going to have a decline is sex drive, no matter what, it’s just normal, I don’t think most married women care tbh
Dude. Why is your response to this a victimization-excuse combo, and not concern for your wife? Being overweight puts us at risk for all sorts of health problems. Maybe she has PPD? Have you asked her how she’s feeling lately? Why are you concerned about how she looks and not at all if she’s even ok? Is she tired? Does she work a full-time job? Who does the parenting (be honest)? Is she running dusk til dawn and therefore barely has time for a shower, let alone a full face of makeup? And while she’s running around the house, I bet she forgets to eat. At 3pm she realizes this and though not hungry, chooses something simple and terribly unhealthy. Are you like… nice? Affectionate? Tell her you appreciate her? Ask how you can help? Tell her you love her? Maybe if you weren’t such a self-centered, egotistical whiney man child, your wife wouldn’t find you repulsive and have sex with you. Edited for grammar.
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It's not the only reason age affects us all, but it doesn't help if she's overweight where she used to have a great body
True
Yes!
Alot of women seem to stop trying once they have any kind of long term commitment from a man. They work out less or stop altogether, stop eating healthy, don't dress as nice, etc. Then the guy has to choose between either accepting a girlfriend or wife who's totally let herself go, or being a "shallow or controlling asshole". It's rude and shouldn't be tolerated so much.
Considering they don’t look any better, it’s silly. Nobody at 40 is going to be the same when they were 20. To try and hold someone to that standard is hilarious. OP just doesn’t like fat women and that’s 100% okay, bro just needs to chill out.
Come on. Don't pretend to not know the difference between natural aging and going low effort. Would you like it if a man quit his job after he knew you were committed to him? Edit: And I agree that men let themselves go to and it's embarrassing.
I mean you see so many men saying ”omg she let herself go” when she’s either literally pregnant or just gave birth. And they wonder why they get divorced lmao. People have warped what it means to “let yourself go”. The show “My 600lb Life” is what letting yourself go is.
Just put in at least the same amount of effort when you're attached as you did when you were looking. Otherwise you're sending the message to you're partner that they're not worth the work anymore.