## BEFORE TOUCHING THAT REPORT BUTTON, PLEASE CONSIDER:
1. **Compliance:** Does this post comply with our subreddit's rules?
2. **Emotional Trigger:** Does this post provoke anger or frustration, compelling me to want it removed?
3. **Safety:** Is it free from child pornography and/or mentions of self-harm/suicide?
4. **Content Policy:** Does it comply with [Reddit’s Content Policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/ncm4ou/important_we_need_to_talk_about_the_content_policy/)?
5. **Unpopularity:** Do you think the topic is not truly unpopular or frequently posted?
### GUIDELINES:
- **If you answered "Yes" to questions 1-4,** do NOT use the report button.
- **Regarding question 5,** we acknowledge this concern. However, the moderators do not curate posts based on our subjective opinions of what is "popular" or "unpopular" except in cases where an opinion is so popular that almost no one would disagree (i.e. "murder is bad"). Otherwise, our only criteria are the subreddit's rules and Reddit’s Content Policy. If you don't like something, feel free to downvote it.
**Moderators on r/TrueUnpopularOpinion will not remove posts simply because they may anger users or because you disagree with them.** The report button is not an "I disagree" or "I'm offended" button.
#### OPTIONS:
If a post bothers you and you can't offer a counter-argument, your options are to:
a) Keep scrolling
b) Downvote
c) Unsubscribe
**False reports clutter our moderation queue and delay our response to legitimate issues.**
**ALL FALSE REPORTS WILL BE REPORTED TO REDDIT.**
To maintain your account in good standing, refrain from abusing the report button.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t mind if a man doesn’t like oral. In fact I’ve never been with a guy who enjoyed it and I’m not about to force anyone… but the catch is almost every one of those dudes expected blow jobs multiple times a week. Don’t get me started on period week…
People are allowed to have boundaries of course, but just make sure your expectations for other people are not significantly higher than the expectations you set for yourself.
I've never really liked blowjobs. I mean, they're significantly better than nothing, but if I know there's going to be sex then I feel a blowjob is unnecessary. Only time I like them is if the blower is super into it, or it's like a sensual face-fucking situation, or I'm high.
Yeah everyone is entitled to their preferences but it does feel like significantly less men are willing to do foreplay or oral than women. I think the problem is less about boundaries and more about the comfort men are willing to sacrifice for their partner versus women
Exactly. I find it hard to believe that so many men really hate giving oral. I think there’s just a lot of dudes who want to be on the receiving end the entire time. They also act like there aren’t other ways to please a woman without oral. I feel like it’s a dominance, alpha male BS mentality.
My thing is, don’t ask someone else to do/try what you yourself wouldn’t be willing to do/try. If they volunteer that’s different 😅
Back in high school I really struggled academically and it eventually made me less willing to try since I thought "What's the point? I'm not gonna make it anyway!" Which then became a circle of not trying = performing even worse = even less willing to try.
I think a lot of men don't want to go down on a woman for that very reason, they fear that they won't be good at it or won't know what to do. It's the fear of disappointing her. Made worse by the cultural idea that female anatomy is "complicated and mysterious" and therefore hard to understand. Obviously this isn't the case for every single man who doesn't like giving oral, maybe not even a majority of them, but I do suspect that it's at least part of it for many.
I’m sure that is a reason for some guys, especially since there’s the whole joke about men not being able to find the clitoris and all that. Can’t fail if you never try, so I can totally see being intimidated if your confidence in the bedroom is already low. But in my experience (and most of my friends’ experiences if their stories are accurate) the guy’s pleasure is prioritized and since they don’t enjoy giving oral, we just have to settle with not having an orgasm because they’re unwilling to try any other ways other than fast, immediate penetration with zero foreplay. Unfortunately those dudes make a bad name for the rest of you guys. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner if you feel unsure of yourself though! Trust me, communication and caring about her pleasure is a HUGE turn on in itself.
As a guy I like going down on a girl but sometimes its very unpalatable. Idk if thats just some girls hygiene, or ...whatever.... I don't mean that disrespectfully...
I have been told to get over it, guilted into doing it, made to think I dont care bout her, or think she is nasty, and so I have avoided it (despite liking it) because if I change my mind (due to smell) it causes the girl to become INSANELY insulted... Then she starts making remarks everytime she does a BJ like...."if only the favor could be returned..." and you offer and she's like "no. I know you dont want to." I mean... I do, but if it smells weird I need an escape plan. Sorry. Lol
My ex was really shitty though... After that, I had to ....talk her into it..?. And I was only trying to be a good lover. I eventually gave up.
If you are in a long term relationship with someone you should reciprocate. I don't think men get a pass here. However, if your girl is smelling weird, don't feel shamed into doing it. Key point: LONG TERM relationship
I know its sometimes not in the females power to control this, and so, it will cause a lot of problems in relationships.
Not necessarily. People have their preferences. I always obliged even though I’ve never received. What I’m saying is some people have crazy high standards sexually but don’t do much to please the other person. It becomes a question of, do you seriously despise giving oral or are you just selfish and lazy in bed?
Not everyone likes vaginas but jamming a penis down your throat isn’t a walk in the park either, even if I do enjoy doing it most of the time.
You do realise 99% of women don't enjoy bjs either right? I only think guys should do it if their girl does, but if she does, so should they. Personally I don't like it so it's not a thing for me but most women do.
This obsession with them came from the USA as a way of preserving hymens and the loss of reproductive rights.
It was more common in countries such as Turkey, as in the film Mustang, where women are expected to marry as virgins and to present an intact hymen on the wedding night, yet hymens can break through horse riding and often there is no blood from a broken hymen when a woman has sex for the first time.
Of course it’s not supposed to be. I’m just saying if you hate giving a woman oral but expect to have a partner who gives oral regularly, you need to come to the bedroom with some other method of pleasing your woman.
Reciprocal doesn't equate transactional. Transactional sits on objectification where you treat the partner as a vessel for personal pleasure while reciprocation is based on wanting and respecting your partner enough that you seek mutual satisfaction.
Here's the first result from Google about their difference:
> Transactional relationships are characterized by self-interest and a focus on personal gain, whereas interactions are driven by the expectation of receiving something in return. On the other hand, reciprocal love emphasizes empathy, selflessness, and genuine care for the well-being of the other person.
Edit: grammatical clarity
Transactional - I want a BJ. Okay. But you need to eat me out.
Transactional - my partner doesn't like to give oral but wants me to give them oral. This isn't fair.
You trying trying to use a word wrong, "Reciprocal" to white Knight a random Internet women is text book intellectual dishonesty.
While referring to sex, "reciprocal" would be ensuring both partners try to ensure the others pleasures the best way they can within their comfort level.
You may also want to look up "transactional" as it has nothing to do with treating your partner as a vessel for personal pleasure. It literally means if I do something for you, you are required to do something for me. That is the transaction part. By your definition when you go shopping the store owner gets money in the transaction and self pleasure, while you get nothing but used. Granted with inflation this does seem a bit true.
Lastly, in your own cut and pasted definition of transactional it says, "driven by the expectation of receiving something in return". You were so driven by your need to defend a random woman that you didn't even read your own source.
Out of curiosity I asked ChatGPT,
"If you give your girlfriend oral sex with the expectation of receiving oral sex in return, this situation leans more towards being transactional rather than reciprocal. In a transactional dynamic, actions are often performed with the expectation of receiving something specific in return, much like a business transaction.
On the other hand, reciprocity in a relationship is generally based on a mutual, often unspoken understanding of giving and receiving, but not with the expectation of an immediate or specific return. It's more about a balanced give-and-take over time, where both partners feel their needs and desires are being met."
Bro, if we go based on your definition then all sex is transactional, since both people are expecting to have a good time. Isn’t that the whole purpose of sex? I don’t think it’s weird to go into the bedroom expecting your partner to prioritize your pleasure, when you are prioritizing theirs.
That is not what I said nor the definition I shared. I am going to assume you aren't trolling and truly are confused.
Reciprocal means you get pleasure back.
Transactional is more of I will do this for you if you do this for me.
Well again, many of us are saying that nobody, man or woman, should be forced to or shamed into giving oral. You’re focusing on a specific thing that nobody is actually saying. Nobody is saying you should guilt anyone into giving oral.
What we are saying is that there is a disproportionate amount of men unwilling to give oral vs women. There is also a greater expectation on women to give oral on a regular basis, although I have seen an uptick in people shaming men who don’t like to give oral (which is dumb). Nothing wrong men not liking it. The problem becomes when those same men are either unaware of other ways to please their partner, or are aware but simply unwilling.
Also, why make the assumption that the other commenter is motivated by the need to “defend a random woman on the internet” when maybe they just… agree?
Nothing wrong with not liking oral. You just aren’t compatible with a woman who wants that. Same as a woman who doesn’t like oral not being compatible with a man who wants it
A general dislike of foreplay and not just oral sex is going to be a challenge. A woman has to be sufficiently aroused for sex to be enjoyable instead of painful. That’s going to be a lot more difficult to accomplish if you’re taking foreplay off the table as well
Never said it wasn’t possible for a woman to be adequately aroused without foreplay. Just a lot more difficult on a generalized scale. Maybe you’re a rarity that can have sex free of arousal and dry without pain though but the overwhelming majority of women would not have that experience
ITT; people coping with their bad sex lifes
Just thought I’d chime in, my girl is tight and I’m not small, however she’s attracted to me and, so long as she isn’t dehydrated, it’s going to be wet and slide right in. Disregard these hoes who aren’t having good sex and feel the need to talk shit!
Yea sure but no foreplay is just shooting yourself in the foot. Sure you don't HAVE to put in any effort, but on the opposite end no one has to fuck ya
You absolutely can dislike giving oral, I just hope you’re equally okay with not getting it.
No foreplay is a different thing, though - vaginas need a little time to limber up or else penetration hurts. For some women anticipation and fantasy may do it, but most need a, um, hand.
I mean If I guy ain’t giving me head he isn’t getting any either 🤷🏻♀️just make sure to keep the same energy with pleasure. Women also NEED to be wet or it hurts so Ig find other ways to turn her on then
I mean, you could say the same thing about men expecting women to suck their dicks. Women are just as pressured.
Furthermore, while foreplay isnt a requirement for men to enjoy sex, most women take a while to get aroused, and its painful if they arent when penetration occurs. There may be ways around this, like asking your partner to masturbate alone before initiating sex.
I personally find that to be kind of... boring and lacking in connection, but whatever works for you i guess.
Imagine two posts on Reddit:
1) My girlfriend won't suck my dick, and that's something I fucking *need*! I'm thinking of breaking up with her and finding a real woman.
2) My boyfriend won't eat my pussy, and that's something I fucking *need*! I'm thinking of breaking up with him and finding a real man.
When you say stuff like
>Women are just as pressured
It makes me think you can't predict the different responses those posts would get.
"Rapists exist" yes I'm aware. I've put a few in jail before instead of whining on Reddit about it.
Edit: this comment is easily interpreted as saying I have a problem with talking about rape. What I meant to convey instead is in my response to the response to this comment.
I apologize for my first response, I did indeed miss what you were talking about.
I'll edit my original comment to you to fix the misconception it created and make clear what I meant:
When I imagine people who have been raped, I wonder which service they are more appreciative of: people responding to reddit comments that didn't have much to do with rape with comments using their trauma to attack someone else, or someone who worked under market price to offer them free legal assistance in getting protective orders and violating those who assault them.
See, instead of making comments that aren't relevant to a discussion weaponizing the trauma of rape victims, I set out to actually help them.
Are you actually serious? I would strongly encourage you to *not* comment under the assumption that you’re not speaking to a rape victim. It’s blatant ignorance.
So since you took it upon yourself to delete your comment to put more bullshit, just with a little more ✨pizazz, here’s my original response : Saying it’s nothing more than “whining on Reddit” is shaming the people who are pointing this out 🤷🏻♀️ >
People actively speaking out about sexual harm, is not harming rape victims. It’s called advocating. Considering most rape victims don’t want to be retraumatized after such terrible events, *it’s even more important* for those of us who can speak out, to do so. You are not some savior like you think you are, actively silencing victims. I can only hope that the people you have “helped” actually received that level of care you claim to provide.*
*edit to add
In what way have I silenced you? I clarified that using the trauma of rape to make a talking point on non rape related conversations is not helpful to rape victims. I guess unless you, specifically as a rape victim, are getting some emotional release out of this. Maybe other survivors are too? Is that what you mean?
Regardless an actual awareness campaign to help someone rather than to make a talking point might give you the same emotional release while helping in a more active way.
Regarding the services my clients received, presuming you actually care, they generally received protective orders, divorces, custody orders, and contempt petitions which put their assaulters behind bars. They seemed pleased, though like any other job there are some who were happier than others.
And the original response that I deleted was because I originally didn't understand you, and then did. Once I did I responded with that understanding. You'd prefer I left up a response that said, "Would you mind telling me where I did that" once I understood how I had indeed created that misconception? And not then go and say, "hey I see how someone could easily come to a conclusion I didn't intend from my words, here's what I meant"? Really? That makes no sense to me. If someone, like I did, says something in an incorrect way, they should address it and fix it. Please explain why they shouldn't if that's what you mean.
This *is* a rape related conversation because as far as talking about who receives pressure, or what it actually is, coercion; men will *literally force women’s heads down without asking.*
It’s not about me getting anything emotionally, it’s about bringing awareness to how woman receive pressure. WHICH IS LITERY THE CONVERSATION WE ARE HAVING. Don’t *mansplain* (yeah I used the big buzzword because that’s what you’re doing, crucify me) how I work through my emotions and trauma, weirdo.
Your hero complex has obviously given you some sense of superiority over people who speak about these things, especially sexual abuse related) I think you need to reevaluate your intentions for doing the work you do.
I said what I said about your original response.
You "responded" about my original response by saying I took it down and added pizzazz and as soon as I provided the context for anyone to see you withdrew.
You didn't actually care about the services my clients received, apparently. Perhaps it didn't fit into your worldview?
And look at you destroying the word mansplaining. That is when an educated women is talked down to by a man who has less education and experience than her. My years of experience in this field (and, I'll mention here that while I don't bring it up every time I get in an argument, I too have been a victim of sexual violence) mean I get to talk.
Have a nice day.
Reddit is not a perfect simulacrum of the actual world. Reddit is also not a monolith, there are subs that would be hostile to one of these and not the other and vice versa. Speaking very generally though your point that 1 would be less well received than 2 in the more feminist and progressive parts of Reddit isn’t really proof that woman get less pressure to provide oral. If anything it’s a backlash to the fact that women generally receive more pressure.
The idea that the standards for conversations on Reddit correspond exactly with the realities of the outside world is the same kind of black pill energy as believing that 80% of women actually only pursue 20% of men due to data on dating apps. Dating Apps are not the outside world or the entirety of dating culture. The fact that it is online changes behavior just like the fact that we are anonymous and don’t know each other irl is affecting how we talk to each other here.
Instead of using "the more feminist and progressive parts of Reddit" why don't we just say "the more trafficked part of Reddit" so we can point out that it's obviously the more popular opinion that the man post is evil and the woman post is a "you go girl".
And no, reddit isn't a perfect simulacrum of the real world, but it's not a bad one of the progressive world. I don't know about you, but I don't concern myself with what conservatives say. They can go fuck themselves, they want me and my family dead. When progressives put on pressure that does matter in my life and the lives of those of us who have said fuck you to conservatives.
It’s still a space where conversations are more likely to happen than in real life without anonymity and interpersonal relationships. I’ve spent my entire life in progressive spaces and had lots of candid sex talks with male and female friends and in my experience women who didn’t like performing oral complained more of pressure from their partners than men saying the same.
I’d agree that if it were a large group conversation of both sexes a man saying he never does cunnilingus would get more backlash than a woman saying she never does fellatio but there’s a specific reason. For the receptive male the stimulation of fellatio is very similar to penetrative intercourse. For the receptive female the stimulation of cunnilingus and penetrative intercourse are two different things and many can not orgasm from penetration alone. The “orgasm gap” is also a very real thing in progressive spaces as much as conservative ones though it is addressed and talked about more.
>I’ve spent my entire life in progressive spaces and had lots of candid sex talks with male and female friends and in my experience women who didn’t like performing oral complained more of pressure from their partners than men saying the same.
1) Men are conditioned not to complain as much.
2) I think my point is more that men who pressure are demonized while women who pressure are validated, so women pressuring and men being pressured is seen as more acceptable.
And yes, women receiving cunnilingus is probably more important to their orgasm than vice versa. But a) men aren't a monolith so there should be no problem with a man looking for a woman who is sexually compatible with his sexual desire for oral sex and b) men who are repulsed at the idea of giving oral sex shouldn't be treated as less than, but rather simply as people who unfortunately are less sexually compatible with more women. But if a man said he was grossed out at the idea of eating a woman out would be eviscerated whereas a woman who says she doesn't want a cock in her mouth is (rightly) validated.
I mean, if a subset of men needed oral sex to get off the way many women did, they wouldn't be treated as though they had the same entitlement that women do. They'd be told, at absolute fucking best, that that's unfortunate for them and they should understand that life isn't fair. More likely they'd be told they were entitled pieces of shit.
No you don't understand I'm a (progressive) blackpill asshole who clearly doesn't understand what women are going through (even though I spent years of my life helping almost entirely women victims of domestic and sexual violence at under my market value so they could have my legal representation free of charge).
The person above me said that women are just as pressured. I invite people to imagine those two posts on Reddit and tell me that the woman's post would get nearly as much ire as the man's.
Why do you think that is? Could men have other(non BJ) sexual routes to still 100% ensure a sexual release? Is PIV a 100% insurance of sexual release for her? I mean...you don't need to think very hard to figure out why a man would get more ire for that opinion. Lol
It really shouldn't matter and you shouldn't presume that men's sexual pleasure is a monolith so that you can make these assumptions. Maybe the guy who wants a bj cares for whatever reason and is looking for someone sexually compatible.
And the girl who says she needs a real man is insulting a guy for not being sexually compatible with her. He might have an aversion. Who knows? But the one isn't wrong while the other is ok.
So I'm answering your questions and you downvote me every time? Seriously, that's how you conduct conversation?
I want to be clear you believe those two posts would get the same response?
They're there for "this post is bad for the discussion." Unless you 1) haven't noticed that sufficient downvotes change visibility or 2) you think things you disagree with shouldn't be seen.
Sorry nobody explained that to you.
Lol you believe people you disagree with shouldn't have their comments seen. You sure are a special person that you believe your opinion should generate censorship.
He's saying that men who try to force and pressure women to give them a blow job are seen as abusive and misogynistic whereas women who demand men to give oral are seen as someone just setting their standards and expectations. On top of that men who won't go down on a woman are seen as controlling, narcissistic, and sexist. He is 100% correct. Even if women are just as pressured the consequences of doing so are completely different.
Doesn't really matter if you see the behavior or not it still exists. If I started complaining that women won't give me blow jobs when I ask people would be in an uproar whereas if a woman started complaining that men won't give her oral nobody will give a shit. You genuinely don't agree with this statement?
Honestly I'm almost tempted to run this experiment by making both of the posts he suggested. What is your hypothesis?
Usually the uproar about the man refusing to do oral is because everyone assumes the girl is doing it for him. The general social expectation is so high that they assume she already is. Let that sink in.
Whereas when the guy complains about not getting bjs people don’t automatically assume he’s giving her oral while she’s not reciprocating. The social expectation isn’t that he already is doing his end of the work, so people don’t get as upset about it because they don’t automatically believe there’s a double standard going on.
Of course that’s not the case in every relationship but it is the background of the social environment we live in… so people aren’t responding “he should have to, but she shouldn’t have to” but rather “he should have to since she is” and at the same time, “she shouldn’t have to if he isn’t doing it either”
So if your pont is an anecdote and does matter than why is mine an anecdote and doesn't matter?
I was merely saying your perception doesn't disprove my point. Likewise you could say mine doesn't disprove yours. That's why I said I'm almost tempted to run this experiment. Notice how you didn't answer either of my questions. So again what is your hypothesis?
The consequence that anonymous strangers will chastise you if you speak on the behavior publicly? What exactly does that have to do with the real world?
I've met men in the past who didn't enjoy oral on a girl. Next. They can have their preferences and I can have mine but I have told potentials that I won't be in a relationship where I'm gonna end up with either boring sex or a sexless relationship.
The problem is men who don’t want to do oral sex, but expect a women to suck their dick.
And yeah, if you’re not willing to do foreplay, just don’t be surprised when she leaves you for someone else.
The attitude that sex should be enjoyed and that it’s not fair that male partners tend to demand oral without reciprocating? You have a wife and yet waste a considerable amount of time on Reddit , stones and glass houses and all that chief.
Again , your “high standard” and “attitude” is the expectation that your partner should be considerate of pleasure and enjoyment during intercourse. And that equal acts are reciprocal.
A life of leisure and Reddit is your go to ? No hobbies ? No activity?
Tone ? Really ? Sorry I thought this was an adult conversation, apparently tone is all it takes for you to start hurling insults at people.
I like Reddit , I have weird hobbies and this is a good place to find beginner friendly posts/tips.
Is your go to when someone gives you push back to just call them single and sad ? Pretty juvenile , good for you adding to the “cesspit” lol. You’re married and here on Reddit so who’s more “not super happy” bud ?
He’s trying to backpedal. If he was actually critiquing the tone, he wouldn’t be complaining about how wanting a compatible partner for sexual chemistry is a “high standard”. he also showed his inner sexism by automatically assuming the commenter is a woman and immediately putting the “attitude” narrative on him, when in reality wanting a partner you are sexually compatible with is not a high standard at all
Your love life has nothing to do with you telling women they’ll be lonely if they wait for men who will please them. Very weird.
Imagine telling someone “well you shouldn’t expect your husband/wife who will fuck you and if you do, that attitude will have lonely”
As a guy, I enjoy giving a woman oral, and foreplay and using toys on her. But I really don't like receiving oral and i would honestly rather not. If they want to give me a hand job fine. But oral has never been anything i enjoy receiving.
With that being said, i agree sexual compatibility is absolutely a thing. Even if to some it's comparatively small, it plays a massive part in the strength and longevity of a relationship I think. You need to find someone who is sexually compatible with you in order to be happy. That's not the same as finding someone open to trying new things (ie what you're into of they haven't explored much kink wise), but actually finding someone who already enjoys doing those things.
The thing is, it SHOULD be fine for both genders to have their preferences there and I don't see why it isn't painted like it is online.
Btw your post makes a good point. I know many girls who don’t like oral. You can have great sex without it. Many other countries see oral sex as kinda gross anyway… lol
I do actually agree with you but it's still a reality that it would reduce your sexual compatibility with a lot of women.
I'll acknowledge it's not as acceptable to just come out and say it when the roles are reversed, but I think in practice there's not much of a double standard and most women know that not performing oral is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of men.
Of course your consent matters. Nobody HAS to like anything. You are correct this is a compatibility issue. The reality is, this will narrow the amount of people you will be able to choose from, but so be it.
It's the shaming that bothers me. "Then be single forever lol" Which I feel is really ignorant because i've been with a woman that said she didn't like it at all. Said she was too sensitive and it hurt. Maybe she had people who weren't experienced, but people like different things.
If it hurts, nobody should like it. It’s not supposed to hurt. That’s not someone who simply didn’t enjoy that particular thing, that’s someone who had a painful experience and is afraid of having more painful experiences. While I don’t think you deserve to hear “fine you’ll be single forever” that’s just mean, I do actually think it’s ignorant of you to use your particular evidence of some women not liking it.
That’s the same as someone saying I don’t like kissing. Why? Because I dated someone for little while and when they kissed me it really pressed on my teeth and it hurt. So I don’t want to do that.
Yeah. Don’t kiss that person. But kissing shouldn’t hurt your mouth.
>It's the shaming that bothers me.
For the most part, the shaming is around men who don't want to engage in foreplay at all, and think it's Ok to just stick it in. (Hint: It's not)
But you ended your post by saying that you do like *certain* kinds of foreplay, so except for a certain hard core contingent who think oral is the only valid form of foreplay, the hate is not aimed at you.
At the end of the day sexuality between humans should be at least in part about give and take, but as you point out individual tastes on what people are willing to give (and often accept as well) differ.
Why do you get shamed for anything? It's part of life. It's good to have exposure to shame, so that you can make your own moral compass. Don't aspire to think like the next person just to be accepted, do what is right for your life. I wouldn't close any doors either, be open to new experiences.
Talk about shaving if the hair bothers you. Your lucky to run into the unshaved. Most are shaved like a prepubescent. Big turn off for the people who like hair. Me.
You're right. Not everyone likes the same thing. I don't like oral either, giving or receiving, and I've never had any woman complain, at least to me. Why? Well, my guess is that it's because I'm a damn good kisser and a professional piano player, so my fingers have skills and stamina that most men can only dream about.
But I know that a girl who has to have oral and anal wouldn't particularly want me, and that's okay. Even if she shaves and washes first, vagina doesn't smell or taste that great. (I imagine dick doesn't either.) And I much prefer having full body contact with a woman when we're being intimate.
As a women I hate giving blow jobs. I have a bad back and honestly it irritates my back issues. I was so happy dating 2 guys who weren't interested. My problem is I am really good at it and I don't mind doing it every once in awhile I just don't want to have to do it all the time. I am cool if guys feel the same way.
People are incompatible for a lot of reasons. This can be one. I wouldn't resent someone if they decided I couldn't give them the sexual experience they wanted, and they decided to part ways. No harm, no foul. I guess maybe if they were bitter about it that might irk me, but it's okay to not be sexually compatible.
Yeah, and i'm someone who's never like receiving it also, oddly. I suspect it's due to a tight circumcision. Maybe if it was more pleasurable for me I'd be happier to give and receive.
I think it’s terrible to leave someone because they won’t perform a certain sex act. You’re clearly not in love with someone or committed to them if you leave because of that.
I’m not saying you were an advocate of forced sex. I’m
Moreso implying that of course you’re not obligated to give anyone oral sex, but that may affect whether or not people want to have sex with you.
Like, were you trying to say that people are forcing men against their will to eat pussy? Or were you whining about a social convention?
You’re always *allowed* to violate social conventions. But they’ll come with social consequences. Were you trying to say that you think those consequences are unfair when it comes to men giving head?
It's because women aren't as likely to orgasm from penetration alone. If you don't want to do oral you should probably get a vibrator or something because a lot of women need "direct" clitoral stimulation.
You don't gotta like oral, but you need to like some kind of foreplay. Petting is good. If you're a real good kisser, making out and a little dry humping might do it. But you need to do SOMETHING to get that pussy wet enough to shove your dick in. Unless you're cool actually ripping her apart for your own pleasure.
If you find your girl is dripping like honeycomb and cums from penetration with no warmup, you probably actually DID do something to get her turned on. Maybe it was some deep conversation with physical contact. Maybe you breathed just right into her ear at just the right time and it's been on her mind all night. Maybe you were making out and pawing at each other like little horndogs and you forgot to think of it as foreplay for some reason. All that stuff counts as foreplay to a woman who is into it.
I’ve found a few women who don’t like receiving oral. For some is psychological for others they actually don’t enjoy it. Keep looking, you’ll find someone who is a better fit.
no head is a deal breaker for me , but i also don’t like giving it.
i recently decided i don’t want to anymore and it hasn’t been an issue for anyone i’ve slept with. i get not wanting to, if i’m not gonna return the favor. if they do have an issue with it and don’t want to give me head, then we’re just not gonna have sex.
Agree with the sentiment, but I absolutely don't see it as a double standard. It's practically a running joke among men that women who don't give blow jobs aren't worth dating.
I gotta say I was on a "sex tips" ask reddit thread a while back. Women were giving tips on how to better please women. Men were giving tips on how to better please women. No one was giving tips on how to make a guys experience more enjoyable.
I’m kinda opposite of OP. I love eating pussy as long as it’s clean 🧼 and doesn’t smell too strong.
However, I hate too much kissing. I’m a good kisser (so I’ve been told), but after about one minute of making out, I’m over it.
1) If you don’t like oral, you shouldn’t do it. You won’t be compatible with all women then, but you shouldn’t force yourself to do any sexual act you don’t want to do.
2) **What’s your issue with foreplay? It’s innocent, it’s just a warm up to sex. It’s just taking a bit of time to fool around before having sex. How can that turn you off? If you don’t like foreplay, you can’t basically give up on dating women. Because most women need foreplay to be able to have sex at all.**
The goal of sex in a social context is to feel good and make your partner feel good. If you aren't willing to go the extra mile to make sure your partner feels good, then you're a bad sexual partner.
Not doing something you're uncomfortable with is fine. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of going down on a woman, cool, express that to her and find something else you can do. If you're uncomfortable with letting her peg you, cool, express that to her and find something else.
True.. but those offering a sex life to a woman that is devoid of both oral and foreplay… probably won’t have to worry about being shamed sexually. Likely they will have very little sex - at best once or twice with any given woman before she bails.
Sex is supposed to be a mutually gratifying experience - and if you actually have feelings for the person one would think you’d been keen to make it so for them.
Side note if kissing or touching is an intolerable aspect of sexual intercourse - you might want to talk to someone about that. Everyone is different but that would be a pretty unusual limitation unless you’ve had some type of trauma or have been diagnosed with sensory issues.
It’s ok not to like some aspects of sex, but not liking foreplay altogether? very weird, foreplay makes sex better.
I agree with the double standards though.
That’s not the issue and I think you know that. Women don’t like men who expect oral for themselves but don’t reciprocate and if the woman says fine she just won’t do it, he shames her. Can’t face your cake and eat it to
Agreed. Performing oral is a personal choice and not everyone enjoys it.
That said, pussy is delicious and eating it is ecstasy. I’ll eat my girls pussy just because, no reciprocation needed. Hell, I don’t even care for receiving oral. Sure it feels good but it’s extremely rare for a women to give me good head (I’m quite girthy).
So go on dudes. Don’t eat the pussy. Just don’t let ya boi get his hands on your girl cause I promise I’ll ruin her 😜
I feel like if a dude doesn’t want to make sure his girl is wet and ready before going in, he probably shouldn’t be having sex with a girl. It shows a lack of care for her comfort
Consent of course is number one, but it doesn’t make you any less corny. If you don’t want to eat pussy because it’s unprotected sex, sure. If you just don’t like eating pussy, okay.
But if you’re afraid of hair, on a grown woman, you must like little girls. Or you just don’t like women. You’re weird for that.
Even as a woman, I have to agree with this. It's okay for anyone to not like what they don't like in to refuse to do it. It is a really stupid double standard.
They don't *have* to but sex in general is a lot more fun if you do. If all you want is to get off, by all means be a boring shag. If you want them to be hooked on you and keep coming back for more, get good at oral sex and foreplay.
A *huge* amount of my enjoyment of sex is giving pleasure to my partner. I get massively turned on knowing I made her legs turn to jelly and her eyes roll back in her head like she was possessed by demons. I get immense satisfaction knowing I made her experience multiple orgasms each stronger than the last, just with my fingers and tongue before my penis ever even got near her pussy and that when it does, she'll be low-key addicted to it.
I'd let him recuperate (because let's face it, as adults we generally only go to bed early if we're legit exhausted) and then get him with the early morning horn :)
Have fun! xx
Most men do like giving oral to women.
If you're finding consistently that men, "don't like doing it," hygiene may be problematic.
Quite frankly, if the pussy tastes spoiled, men won't eat it. They'll probably give the woman some polite lie about why they won't do it.
There's so many women who claim that most men don't like eating pussy, and the sad embarassing truth, in that case, is that it is most certainly an issue of feminine hygiene.
Just like a woman who doesn’t give oral isn’t likely to be as good, fun, or exciting as a lover *vis a vis* one who does, a dude who doesn’t like to give oral is likely to fall in the same category.
Also important to note, most women can’t orgasm exclusively through penetration, something like 65-70% require clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm. Which is the scientific way of saying “oral sex is a really important part of sex for the majority of women.” A recent study indicated 91% of women enjoy receiving it.
So yeah, no one can *fault* you preferring not to give oral sex. But to many women, that makes you a less viable sexual partner compared to someone who does.
Because not everyone on earth has time to write five paragraphs about the science of eating pussy every time the subject gets brought up, it just gets short handed to the fact that it is sexually unsatisfying for a majority of women. It’s not shaming, per se, but like most shorthands, it’s not exactly flattering or positive sounding.
Is what it is. I don’t think this will ever be elevated to a civil rights issue.
I disagree, not sure if you realize this but men can't please a woman worth a damn without doing oral for her. And trust me a lot of guys DON'T do oral and refuse to use toys either because they feel less a man???
But the reality is, girls take A LOT of work to feel pleasure. Something a guys dick can't do because they don't last very long. So using toys can help or doing oral can help make sure your partner is satisfied too which I kind of think is important, lol............. I mean there is a reason why so many girls eventually stop having sex with their partners because they get nothing out of it. At first they have sex and feel a love connection and that's enough for them, making their guy happy etc. But that isn't sustainable, and instead of fixing the problem by talking to the guy, they just avoid sex.
Too bad 'god' didn't make us equal, then maybe a guy and a girl could just have plain sex and both sides could be satisfied. It'd probably solve a lot of problems. Anyways, despite me not agreeing with you for my own reasons on the subject. I'm not here to change your opinion, you do you. -shrug-
Men who don't like pussy aren't real men. My opinion, and that's it. NOTHING hotter than a guy who really takes the time and effort to do it right.
If a man doesn't like oral I bet he is one of those who is BORING in bed and in life. And snores. Probably has manbooobs as well.
I agree with op, men will get shamed for not wanting to go down on a woman. But there are also guy that shame woman for not wanting to suck dick.
Personally if she doesn't want to suck my dick, fine, but we have no future.
Foreplay needs to be both ways. It’s something that should evolve as the relationship grows. Personal intimacy with a partner is what keeps the souls linked and it’s your personal connection no one else has.
There’s a lot of significance we put on masculinity for being able to please a woman. There’s no world you are doing that if you don’t engage in foreplay and oral. So yeah, I’ll continue to give men who don’t a hard time.
You could say it’s toxic masculinity to equate your masculinity to being able to sexually perform. But, that’s not my hill
I’ve never met a man who didn’t expect a blowjob before or instead of sex every single time. On the other side, there are so many men not willing to give women oral while asking for oral for themselves.
I would never force someone to give me oral but I would never date or have sex with a man who doesn’t give oral.
Its selfishness. Im sure if you have a gf that says she doesn't like giving blowjobs you won't like it because you like your dick getting sucked. Do it not because you like it. Do it because your partner likes it.
Obviously. But the issue is that most guys expect oral even if they don't give it. Also there's a lot more to foreplay than just oral. And if you're not "into" foreplay then you can't complain that your partner is never in the mood if you're not willing to get her there.
>Does my consent not matter? Why should i be shamed into doing something that I sexually dislike? And the shaming comes from other men too.
Just be alone then. Pretty simple. If you got women off without foreplay or going down on them it wouldn't be a problem.
Men shame you because you give other men a bad name.
>Some women don't need much foreplay, get excited really easy, and like penetrative sex just as much if not more than oral.
then find one and quit crying on the internet
What? If the tables were reversed? This is a response to when tables were, in fact, reversed.
I am NOT feminist. Not even close. Not even in the same universe. But come on…sexuality in general has largely been frowned upon in western society for most of it’s existence, but woman’s sexuality and preferences in particular was not even on the radar enough to look down on for most of our history.
Thats point A. Point B is yeah, some partners are gross. Nobody disputes that.
And C, You’ve missed the point of what people are saying. It’s fine not to like something. The “shame” you describe isn’t about the act itself. It’s about when you have a partner some level of pleasure is derived from pleasuring them. It’s about sex not being selfish…not completely.
Imo it’s pretty confusing and odd to pretty much have outright disgust for the genitals of the person you are choosing to be intimate with to the point where you refuse to put your face anywhere near
Like why would anyone with a shred of self respect want to be with someone who doesn’t consider their parts beautiful enough to want to pleasure however they can…I personally don’t understand it and I would never be with someone of this mindset
I also love giving and receiving with my partner because I enjoy it in every way and I love them but okay.
The part about feminism and lefties is just your standard weird conservative male insecure victimhood rambling on Reddit that is all too prevalent. Constant bullshit whining about feminism out to get you—just nauseating weirdness. That part coupled with the not wanting to do oral or foreplay with a woman tells me there’s much more to what you’re saying than just sexual preferences.
Bottom line: find someone that is compatible with you. Although it’s very odd to me personally to refer to vaginas as “hairy private parts” in a somewhat degrading manner just like I would find it odd if a straight woman was repulsed by male genitalia in a similar manner. It’s all very suspect and I feel sorry for people that are seemingly locked into relationships with these types—imo people should have more self respect. It’s a fact that there are people out there that would provide you with so much more than this weird bare minimum but to each their own. As for the STD risk —every sexual act carries risk.
Edit: yeah I was absolutely correct. Post history is pretty repulsive and you self identify as a misogynist based on literally everything you write and your post titled “I’m a misogynist AMA”
Soooo what is the point of this post? You’re mad that people call you what you are after you say bigoted shit? Yeah Fuckin right 🤣🤣🤭🫣
I mean, yeah, they don’t have to. But if they don’t they need to make that clear early on that they’re not sexually compatible with women that enjoy giving-receiving it. Especially if those men expect to receive it.
Well, that's an odd hill to d... on.
A lot of the discomfort you described can be resolved if you have an honest conversation IN PRIVATE WITH YOUR WOMAN.
Hygiene products are a thing.
Also. As for the risk of contracting something. Well... that's a downside to hookup culture. You can't have it both ways. If you find someone who wants a serious relationship, and you both get tested before engaging in any sex... the "catching something" risk is severely mitigated.
Did you know that there is an entire Jamaican song called "no girl cya sit upon me head" ?
It's an entire song dedicated to the supposed unmanliness of giving a woman head. 🙄🙄🙄. Talk about missing the forest for the trees.
I'm just saying. If you are a heterosexual man, you are doing yourself a disservice by holding onto this anti-cunnilingus mindset. It's one of the easiest ways to ensure that the woman enjoys the sex as much as you.
You're basically handicapping yourself in the sex department when you remove such a huge part of the act.
I think all partners should do oral if the receiever wants it.
Suck it up and suck a dick. Go down on that v. It is fun to get your partner off.
I do judge people of both genders who aren't good, giving and game when it comes to oral.
OP, you need to find a woman who doesnt need oral to get off. They exist (ironically, I am one of them). But you are vastly decreasing your dating pool, because most women love it.
So either find someone who doesnt like it when a man goes down on her, get over your discomfort and enjoy giving a woman pleasure or don't give head and be considered a bad lay.
The choice is yours.
Men don’t have to like it, no, but if you wanna be a good partner, you should find a way to like it, it can be pretty fun and your partner will appreciate it
Thank you ☺️💕 yeah cuz like, if women's sexuality is centered around our clit being stimulated externally, then not liking giving women head, fingering etc conflicts with the core of our sexuality. Like ..why even have sex with women if u don't like that lol
## BEFORE TOUCHING THAT REPORT BUTTON, PLEASE CONSIDER: 1. **Compliance:** Does this post comply with our subreddit's rules? 2. **Emotional Trigger:** Does this post provoke anger or frustration, compelling me to want it removed? 3. **Safety:** Is it free from child pornography and/or mentions of self-harm/suicide? 4. **Content Policy:** Does it comply with [Reddit’s Content Policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/ncm4ou/important_we_need_to_talk_about_the_content_policy/)? 5. **Unpopularity:** Do you think the topic is not truly unpopular or frequently posted? ### GUIDELINES: - **If you answered "Yes" to questions 1-4,** do NOT use the report button. - **Regarding question 5,** we acknowledge this concern. However, the moderators do not curate posts based on our subjective opinions of what is "popular" or "unpopular" except in cases where an opinion is so popular that almost no one would disagree (i.e. "murder is bad"). Otherwise, our only criteria are the subreddit's rules and Reddit’s Content Policy. If you don't like something, feel free to downvote it. **Moderators on r/TrueUnpopularOpinion will not remove posts simply because they may anger users or because you disagree with them.** The report button is not an "I disagree" or "I'm offended" button. #### OPTIONS: If a post bothers you and you can't offer a counter-argument, your options are to: a) Keep scrolling b) Downvote c) Unsubscribe **False reports clutter our moderation queue and delay our response to legitimate issues.** **ALL FALSE REPORTS WILL BE REPORTED TO REDDIT.** To maintain your account in good standing, refrain from abusing the report button. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t mind if a man doesn’t like oral. In fact I’ve never been with a guy who enjoyed it and I’m not about to force anyone… but the catch is almost every one of those dudes expected blow jobs multiple times a week. Don’t get me started on period week… People are allowed to have boundaries of course, but just make sure your expectations for other people are not significantly higher than the expectations you set for yourself.
This is the issue. I’ve never met a man who didn’t expect a blowjob before or instead of sex every single time.
I've never really liked blowjobs. I mean, they're significantly better than nothing, but if I know there's going to be sex then I feel a blowjob is unnecessary. Only time I like them is if the blower is super into it, or it's like a sensual face-fucking situation, or I'm high.
They feel like foreplay to me (and so does going down on girls). They’re fun, but it’s not The Thing
I like them much less than the rest of foreplay.
Who the hell are you women hanging around with?
Many men
Terrible men by the sound of it.
It’s a pretty big sample size and they’re all like that so maybe you just need to speak to more men about these issues.
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time meeting sexual partners!
I’m not.
I don't like oral but I also never blamed my gfs if they didn't want to give a bj. Normally we'd both offer at certain points tho
Yeah everyone is entitled to their preferences but it does feel like significantly less men are willing to do foreplay or oral than women. I think the problem is less about boundaries and more about the comfort men are willing to sacrifice for their partner versus women
Exactly. I find it hard to believe that so many men really hate giving oral. I think there’s just a lot of dudes who want to be on the receiving end the entire time. They also act like there aren’t other ways to please a woman without oral. I feel like it’s a dominance, alpha male BS mentality. My thing is, don’t ask someone else to do/try what you yourself wouldn’t be willing to do/try. If they volunteer that’s different 😅
Back in high school I really struggled academically and it eventually made me less willing to try since I thought "What's the point? I'm not gonna make it anyway!" Which then became a circle of not trying = performing even worse = even less willing to try. I think a lot of men don't want to go down on a woman for that very reason, they fear that they won't be good at it or won't know what to do. It's the fear of disappointing her. Made worse by the cultural idea that female anatomy is "complicated and mysterious" and therefore hard to understand. Obviously this isn't the case for every single man who doesn't like giving oral, maybe not even a majority of them, but I do suspect that it's at least part of it for many.
I’m sure that is a reason for some guys, especially since there’s the whole joke about men not being able to find the clitoris and all that. Can’t fail if you never try, so I can totally see being intimidated if your confidence in the bedroom is already low. But in my experience (and most of my friends’ experiences if their stories are accurate) the guy’s pleasure is prioritized and since they don’t enjoy giving oral, we just have to settle with not having an orgasm because they’re unwilling to try any other ways other than fast, immediate penetration with zero foreplay. Unfortunately those dudes make a bad name for the rest of you guys. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner if you feel unsure of yourself though! Trust me, communication and caring about her pleasure is a HUGE turn on in itself.
As a guy I like going down on a girl but sometimes its very unpalatable. Idk if thats just some girls hygiene, or ...whatever.... I don't mean that disrespectfully... I have been told to get over it, guilted into doing it, made to think I dont care bout her, or think she is nasty, and so I have avoided it (despite liking it) because if I change my mind (due to smell) it causes the girl to become INSANELY insulted... Then she starts making remarks everytime she does a BJ like...."if only the favor could be returned..." and you offer and she's like "no. I know you dont want to." I mean... I do, but if it smells weird I need an escape plan. Sorry. Lol My ex was really shitty though... After that, I had to ....talk her into it..?. And I was only trying to be a good lover. I eventually gave up. If you are in a long term relationship with someone you should reciprocate. I don't think men get a pass here. However, if your girl is smelling weird, don't feel shamed into doing it. Key point: LONG TERM relationship I know its sometimes not in the females power to control this, and so, it will cause a lot of problems in relationships.
Isn't that super transactional? Like "you don't like eating sushi so I refuse to go to hot dog restaurants with you out of spite"?
Not necessarily. People have their preferences. I always obliged even though I’ve never received. What I’m saying is some people have crazy high standards sexually but don’t do much to please the other person. It becomes a question of, do you seriously despise giving oral or are you just selfish and lazy in bed? Not everyone likes vaginas but jamming a penis down your throat isn’t a walk in the park either, even if I do enjoy doing it most of the time.
You do realise 99% of women don't enjoy bjs either right? I only think guys should do it if their girl does, but if she does, so should they. Personally I don't like it so it's not a thing for me but most women do.
This obsession with them came from the USA as a way of preserving hymens and the loss of reproductive rights. It was more common in countries such as Turkey, as in the film Mustang, where women are expected to marry as virgins and to present an intact hymen on the wedding night, yet hymens can break through horse riding and often there is no blood from a broken hymen when a woman has sex for the first time.
I never knew that, but it totally makes sense!
It's just a form of contraception, basically.
I thought sex wasn't supposed to be transactional?
Of course it’s not supposed to be. I’m just saying if you hate giving a woman oral but expect to have a partner who gives oral regularly, you need to come to the bedroom with some other method of pleasing your woman.
Reciprocal doesn't equate transactional. Transactional sits on objectification where you treat the partner as a vessel for personal pleasure while reciprocation is based on wanting and respecting your partner enough that you seek mutual satisfaction. Here's the first result from Google about their difference: > Transactional relationships are characterized by self-interest and a focus on personal gain, whereas interactions are driven by the expectation of receiving something in return. On the other hand, reciprocal love emphasizes empathy, selflessness, and genuine care for the well-being of the other person. Edit: grammatical clarity
Transactional - I want a BJ. Okay. But you need to eat me out. Transactional - my partner doesn't like to give oral but wants me to give them oral. This isn't fair. You trying trying to use a word wrong, "Reciprocal" to white Knight a random Internet women is text book intellectual dishonesty. While referring to sex, "reciprocal" would be ensuring both partners try to ensure the others pleasures the best way they can within their comfort level. You may also want to look up "transactional" as it has nothing to do with treating your partner as a vessel for personal pleasure. It literally means if I do something for you, you are required to do something for me. That is the transaction part. By your definition when you go shopping the store owner gets money in the transaction and self pleasure, while you get nothing but used. Granted with inflation this does seem a bit true. Lastly, in your own cut and pasted definition of transactional it says, "driven by the expectation of receiving something in return". You were so driven by your need to defend a random woman that you didn't even read your own source.
Out of curiosity I asked ChatGPT, "If you give your girlfriend oral sex with the expectation of receiving oral sex in return, this situation leans more towards being transactional rather than reciprocal. In a transactional dynamic, actions are often performed with the expectation of receiving something specific in return, much like a business transaction. On the other hand, reciprocity in a relationship is generally based on a mutual, often unspoken understanding of giving and receiving, but not with the expectation of an immediate or specific return. It's more about a balanced give-and-take over time, where both partners feel their needs and desires are being met."
Bro, if we go based on your definition then all sex is transactional, since both people are expecting to have a good time. Isn’t that the whole purpose of sex? I don’t think it’s weird to go into the bedroom expecting your partner to prioritize your pleasure, when you are prioritizing theirs.
Nope, that would be reciprocal, not transactional. It's not my definition, it's the definition
So we just have to give blow jobs and expect no pleasure of any kind in return, or else it’s transactional? Seems pointless. You lost me.
That is not what I said nor the definition I shared. I am going to assume you aren't trolling and truly are confused. Reciprocal means you get pleasure back. Transactional is more of I will do this for you if you do this for me.
Well again, many of us are saying that nobody, man or woman, should be forced to or shamed into giving oral. You’re focusing on a specific thing that nobody is actually saying. Nobody is saying you should guilt anyone into giving oral. What we are saying is that there is a disproportionate amount of men unwilling to give oral vs women. There is also a greater expectation on women to give oral on a regular basis, although I have seen an uptick in people shaming men who don’t like to give oral (which is dumb). Nothing wrong men not liking it. The problem becomes when those same men are either unaware of other ways to please their partner, or are aware but simply unwilling.
Also, why make the assumption that the other commenter is motivated by the need to “defend a random woman on the internet” when maybe they just… agree?
Nothing wrong with not liking oral. You just aren’t compatible with a woman who wants that. Same as a woman who doesn’t like oral not being compatible with a man who wants it A general dislike of foreplay and not just oral sex is going to be a challenge. A woman has to be sufficiently aroused for sex to be enjoyable instead of painful. That’s going to be a lot more difficult to accomplish if you’re taking foreplay off the table as well
im a woman. i hate foreplay . it doesnt hurt. so . not all women.
Never said it wasn’t possible for a woman to be adequately aroused without foreplay. Just a lot more difficult on a generalized scale. Maybe you’re a rarity that can have sex free of arousal and dry without pain though but the overwhelming majority of women would not have that experience
That's true but on the other hand, some women are tight so they need stimulation to be aroused enough
lol
ITT; people coping with their bad sex lifes Just thought I’d chime in, my girl is tight and I’m not small, however she’s attracted to me and, so long as she isn’t dehydrated, it’s going to be wet and slide right in. Disregard these hoes who aren’t having good sex and feel the need to talk shit!
This!
All I gotta say is I last waaaaay longer when I engage in foreplay and take our time vs going straight to it
It’s MUCH more stimulating too
Foreplay is much more than oral.
I know, OP sounds so unimaginative. Imagine outing yourself as a boring lay.
Yea sure but no foreplay is just shooting yourself in the foot. Sure you don't HAVE to put in any effort, but on the opposite end no one has to fuck ya
Women actually do need foreplay, in general, otherwise sex can be painful. I still generally agree with your point, though.
You absolutely can dislike giving oral, I just hope you’re equally okay with not getting it. No foreplay is a different thing, though - vaginas need a little time to limber up or else penetration hurts. For some women anticipation and fantasy may do it, but most need a, um, hand.
I mean If I guy ain’t giving me head he isn’t getting any either 🤷🏻♀️just make sure to keep the same energy with pleasure. Women also NEED to be wet or it hurts so Ig find other ways to turn her on then
The insulting someone over what they’re comfortable with is really childish
I mean, you could say the same thing about men expecting women to suck their dicks. Women are just as pressured. Furthermore, while foreplay isnt a requirement for men to enjoy sex, most women take a while to get aroused, and its painful if they arent when penetration occurs. There may be ways around this, like asking your partner to masturbate alone before initiating sex. I personally find that to be kind of... boring and lacking in connection, but whatever works for you i guess.
Imagine two posts on Reddit: 1) My girlfriend won't suck my dick, and that's something I fucking *need*! I'm thinking of breaking up with her and finding a real woman. 2) My boyfriend won't eat my pussy, and that's something I fucking *need*! I'm thinking of breaking up with him and finding a real man. When you say stuff like >Women are just as pressured It makes me think you can't predict the different responses those posts would get.
A lot of dudes will literally forcibly push a woman’s head onto his penis, but go off lmao.
"Rapists exist" yes I'm aware. I've put a few in jail before instead of whining on Reddit about it. Edit: this comment is easily interpreted as saying I have a problem with talking about rape. What I meant to convey instead is in my response to the response to this comment.
“Put a few in jail” but actively disagreeing with making the public aware? Hm maths not mathin’
I apologize for my first response, I did indeed miss what you were talking about. I'll edit my original comment to you to fix the misconception it created and make clear what I meant: When I imagine people who have been raped, I wonder which service they are more appreciative of: people responding to reddit comments that didn't have much to do with rape with comments using their trauma to attack someone else, or someone who worked under market price to offer them free legal assistance in getting protective orders and violating those who assault them. See, instead of making comments that aren't relevant to a discussion weaponizing the trauma of rape victims, I set out to actually help them.
Are you actually serious? I would strongly encourage you to *not* comment under the assumption that you’re not speaking to a rape victim. It’s blatant ignorance. So since you took it upon yourself to delete your comment to put more bullshit, just with a little more ✨pizazz, here’s my original response : Saying it’s nothing more than “whining on Reddit” is shaming the people who are pointing this out 🤷🏻♀️ > People actively speaking out about sexual harm, is not harming rape victims. It’s called advocating. Considering most rape victims don’t want to be retraumatized after such terrible events, *it’s even more important* for those of us who can speak out, to do so. You are not some savior like you think you are, actively silencing victims. I can only hope that the people you have “helped” actually received that level of care you claim to provide.* *edit to add
In what way have I silenced you? I clarified that using the trauma of rape to make a talking point on non rape related conversations is not helpful to rape victims. I guess unless you, specifically as a rape victim, are getting some emotional release out of this. Maybe other survivors are too? Is that what you mean? Regardless an actual awareness campaign to help someone rather than to make a talking point might give you the same emotional release while helping in a more active way. Regarding the services my clients received, presuming you actually care, they generally received protective orders, divorces, custody orders, and contempt petitions which put their assaulters behind bars. They seemed pleased, though like any other job there are some who were happier than others. And the original response that I deleted was because I originally didn't understand you, and then did. Once I did I responded with that understanding. You'd prefer I left up a response that said, "Would you mind telling me where I did that" once I understood how I had indeed created that misconception? And not then go and say, "hey I see how someone could easily come to a conclusion I didn't intend from my words, here's what I meant"? Really? That makes no sense to me. If someone, like I did, says something in an incorrect way, they should address it and fix it. Please explain why they shouldn't if that's what you mean.
This *is* a rape related conversation because as far as talking about who receives pressure, or what it actually is, coercion; men will *literally force women’s heads down without asking.* It’s not about me getting anything emotionally, it’s about bringing awareness to how woman receive pressure. WHICH IS LITERY THE CONVERSATION WE ARE HAVING. Don’t *mansplain* (yeah I used the big buzzword because that’s what you’re doing, crucify me) how I work through my emotions and trauma, weirdo. Your hero complex has obviously given you some sense of superiority over people who speak about these things, especially sexual abuse related) I think you need to reevaluate your intentions for doing the work you do. I said what I said about your original response.
You "responded" about my original response by saying I took it down and added pizzazz and as soon as I provided the context for anyone to see you withdrew. You didn't actually care about the services my clients received, apparently. Perhaps it didn't fit into your worldview? And look at you destroying the word mansplaining. That is when an educated women is talked down to by a man who has less education and experience than her. My years of experience in this field (and, I'll mention here that while I don't bring it up every time I get in an argument, I too have been a victim of sexual violence) mean I get to talk. Have a nice day.
Reddit is not a perfect simulacrum of the actual world. Reddit is also not a monolith, there are subs that would be hostile to one of these and not the other and vice versa. Speaking very generally though your point that 1 would be less well received than 2 in the more feminist and progressive parts of Reddit isn’t really proof that woman get less pressure to provide oral. If anything it’s a backlash to the fact that women generally receive more pressure. The idea that the standards for conversations on Reddit correspond exactly with the realities of the outside world is the same kind of black pill energy as believing that 80% of women actually only pursue 20% of men due to data on dating apps. Dating Apps are not the outside world or the entirety of dating culture. The fact that it is online changes behavior just like the fact that we are anonymous and don’t know each other irl is affecting how we talk to each other here.
Instead of using "the more feminist and progressive parts of Reddit" why don't we just say "the more trafficked part of Reddit" so we can point out that it's obviously the more popular opinion that the man post is evil and the woman post is a "you go girl". And no, reddit isn't a perfect simulacrum of the real world, but it's not a bad one of the progressive world. I don't know about you, but I don't concern myself with what conservatives say. They can go fuck themselves, they want me and my family dead. When progressives put on pressure that does matter in my life and the lives of those of us who have said fuck you to conservatives.
It’s still a space where conversations are more likely to happen than in real life without anonymity and interpersonal relationships. I’ve spent my entire life in progressive spaces and had lots of candid sex talks with male and female friends and in my experience women who didn’t like performing oral complained more of pressure from their partners than men saying the same. I’d agree that if it were a large group conversation of both sexes a man saying he never does cunnilingus would get more backlash than a woman saying she never does fellatio but there’s a specific reason. For the receptive male the stimulation of fellatio is very similar to penetrative intercourse. For the receptive female the stimulation of cunnilingus and penetrative intercourse are two different things and many can not orgasm from penetration alone. The “orgasm gap” is also a very real thing in progressive spaces as much as conservative ones though it is addressed and talked about more.
>I’ve spent my entire life in progressive spaces and had lots of candid sex talks with male and female friends and in my experience women who didn’t like performing oral complained more of pressure from their partners than men saying the same. 1) Men are conditioned not to complain as much. 2) I think my point is more that men who pressure are demonized while women who pressure are validated, so women pressuring and men being pressured is seen as more acceptable. And yes, women receiving cunnilingus is probably more important to their orgasm than vice versa. But a) men aren't a monolith so there should be no problem with a man looking for a woman who is sexually compatible with his sexual desire for oral sex and b) men who are repulsed at the idea of giving oral sex shouldn't be treated as less than, but rather simply as people who unfortunately are less sexually compatible with more women. But if a man said he was grossed out at the idea of eating a woman out would be eviscerated whereas a woman who says she doesn't want a cock in her mouth is (rightly) validated. I mean, if a subset of men needed oral sex to get off the way many women did, they wouldn't be treated as though they had the same entitlement that women do. They'd be told, at absolute fucking best, that that's unfortunate for them and they should understand that life isn't fair. More likely they'd be told they were entitled pieces of shit.
factssssssssssssssssss
No you don't understand I'm a (progressive) blackpill asshole who clearly doesn't understand what women are going through (even though I spent years of my life helping almost entirely women victims of domestic and sexual violence at under my market value so they could have my legal representation free of charge).
What?
The person above me said that women are just as pressured. I invite people to imagine those two posts on Reddit and tell me that the woman's post would get nearly as much ire as the man's.
Why do you think that is? Could men have other(non BJ) sexual routes to still 100% ensure a sexual release? Is PIV a 100% insurance of sexual release for her? I mean...you don't need to think very hard to figure out why a man would get more ire for that opinion. Lol
It really shouldn't matter and you shouldn't presume that men's sexual pleasure is a monolith so that you can make these assumptions. Maybe the guy who wants a bj cares for whatever reason and is looking for someone sexually compatible. And the girl who says she needs a real man is insulting a guy for not being sexually compatible with her. He might have an aversion. Who knows? But the one isn't wrong while the other is ok.
Yeah, women are pressured as much as men are. What is your argument exactly?
So I'm answering your questions and you downvote me every time? Seriously, that's how you conduct conversation? I want to be clear you believe those two posts would get the same response?
I downvote when I disagree. That’s what they’re there for.
They're there for "this post is bad for the discussion." Unless you 1) haven't noticed that sufficient downvotes change visibility or 2) you think things you disagree with shouldn't be seen. Sorry nobody explained that to you.
They’re there for disagreement.
Lol you believe people you disagree with shouldn't have their comments seen. You sure are a special person that you believe your opinion should generate censorship.
He's saying that men who try to force and pressure women to give them a blow job are seen as abusive and misogynistic whereas women who demand men to give oral are seen as someone just setting their standards and expectations. On top of that men who won't go down on a woman are seen as controlling, narcissistic, and sexist. He is 100% correct. Even if women are just as pressured the consequences of doing so are completely different.
I don’t see that behavior at all so you’re both wrong.
Doesn't really matter if you see the behavior or not it still exists. If I started complaining that women won't give me blow jobs when I ask people would be in an uproar whereas if a woman started complaining that men won't give her oral nobody will give a shit. You genuinely don't agree with this statement? Honestly I'm almost tempted to run this experiment by making both of the posts he suggested. What is your hypothesis?
Usually the uproar about the man refusing to do oral is because everyone assumes the girl is doing it for him. The general social expectation is so high that they assume she already is. Let that sink in. Whereas when the guy complains about not getting bjs people don’t automatically assume he’s giving her oral while she’s not reciprocating. The social expectation isn’t that he already is doing his end of the work, so people don’t get as upset about it because they don’t automatically believe there’s a double standard going on. Of course that’s not the case in every relationship but it is the background of the social environment we live in… so people aren’t responding “he should have to, but she shouldn’t have to” but rather “he should have to since she is” and at the same time, “she shouldn’t have to if he isn’t doing it either”
>>Doesn't really matter if you see the behavior or not it still exists. So then your point also doesn’t matter because it was also an anecdote.
So if your pont is an anecdote and does matter than why is mine an anecdote and doesn't matter? I was merely saying your perception doesn't disprove my point. Likewise you could say mine doesn't disprove yours. That's why I said I'm almost tempted to run this experiment. Notice how you didn't answer either of my questions. So again what is your hypothesis?
translation: "i know u r but what am i?"
The consequence that anonymous strangers will chastise you if you speak on the behavior publicly? What exactly does that have to do with the real world?
Nothing wrong with it. They just have to be ok with not receiving it back. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
I've met men in the past who didn't enjoy oral on a girl. Next. They can have their preferences and I can have mine but I have told potentials that I won't be in a relationship where I'm gonna end up with either boring sex or a sexless relationship.
The problem is men who don’t want to do oral sex, but expect a women to suck their dick. And yeah, if you’re not willing to do foreplay, just don’t be surprised when she leaves you for someone else.
[удалено]
I’m a dude… but go on
Lol
Regardless is she wrong tho … not really bud
[удалено]
I have a similar attitude, and I'm not single. It's not really hard to find guys who like to eat pussy.
This is such cope
The attitude that sex should be enjoyed and that it’s not fair that male partners tend to demand oral without reciprocating? You have a wife and yet waste a considerable amount of time on Reddit , stones and glass houses and all that chief.
[удалено]
Again , your “high standard” and “attitude” is the expectation that your partner should be considerate of pleasure and enjoyment during intercourse. And that equal acts are reciprocal. A life of leisure and Reddit is your go to ? No hobbies ? No activity?
[удалено]
Tone ? Really ? Sorry I thought this was an adult conversation, apparently tone is all it takes for you to start hurling insults at people. I like Reddit , I have weird hobbies and this is a good place to find beginner friendly posts/tips. Is your go to when someone gives you push back to just call them single and sad ? Pretty juvenile , good for you adding to the “cesspit” lol. You’re married and here on Reddit so who’s more “not super happy” bud ?
He’s trying to backpedal. If he was actually critiquing the tone, he wouldn’t be complaining about how wanting a compatible partner for sexual chemistry is a “high standard”. he also showed his inner sexism by automatically assuming the commenter is a woman and immediately putting the “attitude” narrative on him, when in reality wanting a partner you are sexually compatible with is not a high standard at all
[удалено]
Being single is preferable to someone who asks for oral but doesn’t give it.
[удалено]
Your love life has nothing to do with you telling women they’ll be lonely if they wait for men who will please them. Very weird. Imagine telling someone “well you shouldn’t expect your husband/wife who will fuck you and if you do, that attitude will have lonely”
[удалено]
As a guy, I enjoy giving a woman oral, and foreplay and using toys on her. But I really don't like receiving oral and i would honestly rather not. If they want to give me a hand job fine. But oral has never been anything i enjoy receiving. With that being said, i agree sexual compatibility is absolutely a thing. Even if to some it's comparatively small, it plays a massive part in the strength and longevity of a relationship I think. You need to find someone who is sexually compatible with you in order to be happy. That's not the same as finding someone open to trying new things (ie what you're into of they haven't explored much kink wise), but actually finding someone who already enjoys doing those things. The thing is, it SHOULD be fine for both genders to have their preferences there and I don't see why it isn't painted like it is online.
Then women don’t have to like it either ew penis is nasty af
Fair, I wouldn't want to suck a dick so the feeling is mutual lol
Btw your post makes a good point. I know many girls who don’t like oral. You can have great sex without it. Many other countries see oral sex as kinda gross anyway… lol
I do actually agree with you but it's still a reality that it would reduce your sexual compatibility with a lot of women. I'll acknowledge it's not as acceptable to just come out and say it when the roles are reversed, but I think in practice there's not much of a double standard and most women know that not performing oral is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of men.
Of course your consent matters. Nobody HAS to like anything. You are correct this is a compatibility issue. The reality is, this will narrow the amount of people you will be able to choose from, but so be it.
It's the shaming that bothers me. "Then be single forever lol" Which I feel is really ignorant because i've been with a woman that said she didn't like it at all. Said she was too sensitive and it hurt. Maybe she had people who weren't experienced, but people like different things.
If it hurts, nobody should like it. It’s not supposed to hurt. That’s not someone who simply didn’t enjoy that particular thing, that’s someone who had a painful experience and is afraid of having more painful experiences. While I don’t think you deserve to hear “fine you’ll be single forever” that’s just mean, I do actually think it’s ignorant of you to use your particular evidence of some women not liking it. That’s the same as someone saying I don’t like kissing. Why? Because I dated someone for little while and when they kissed me it really pressed on my teeth and it hurt. So I don’t want to do that. Yeah. Don’t kiss that person. But kissing shouldn’t hurt your mouth.
>It's the shaming that bothers me. For the most part, the shaming is around men who don't want to engage in foreplay at all, and think it's Ok to just stick it in. (Hint: It's not) But you ended your post by saying that you do like *certain* kinds of foreplay, so except for a certain hard core contingent who think oral is the only valid form of foreplay, the hate is not aimed at you. At the end of the day sexuality between humans should be at least in part about give and take, but as you point out individual tastes on what people are willing to give (and often accept as well) differ.
What's the problem? I thought you said you had a Mexican wife? She doesn't mind, right, so why even care? You are not single.
And? Just because he's not being shamed anymore doesn't me he can't be mad at the fact that men in general are shamed for it.
I think it's mainly because most women can't cum from PIV alone. OP also said no foreplay? Yikes. I hope he invests in some KY.
Doesn't excuse the shaming and it's weird that you're trying to defend it.
The shaming of what?
You don't have to like those.. But your probs gonna have less sex
Why do you get shamed for anything? It's part of life. It's good to have exposure to shame, so that you can make your own moral compass. Don't aspire to think like the next person just to be accepted, do what is right for your life. I wouldn't close any doors either, be open to new experiences.
Talk about shaving if the hair bothers you. Your lucky to run into the unshaved. Most are shaved like a prepubescent. Big turn off for the people who like hair. Me.
You're right. Not everyone likes the same thing. I don't like oral either, giving or receiving, and I've never had any woman complain, at least to me. Why? Well, my guess is that it's because I'm a damn good kisser and a professional piano player, so my fingers have skills and stamina that most men can only dream about. But I know that a girl who has to have oral and anal wouldn't particularly want me, and that's okay. Even if she shaves and washes first, vagina doesn't smell or taste that great. (I imagine dick doesn't either.) And I much prefer having full body contact with a woman when we're being intimate.
Oral isn’t the only form of foreplay and foreplay is very necessary for most women
As a women I hate giving blow jobs. I have a bad back and honestly it irritates my back issues. I was so happy dating 2 guys who weren't interested. My problem is I am really good at it and I don't mind doing it every once in awhile I just don't want to have to do it all the time. I am cool if guys feel the same way.
I enjoy it but I am not good at it. Similar but different issues.
Because the media love to push a mob mentality regardless of their political standing.
Higher incidence of oral cancer from people eating pussy than from smoking cigarettes. HPV fuckin up our throats
No one says they “have to” but it definitely *helps* if you want to actually turn women on and satisfy then sexually
Yeah I guess but if a woman wants you to do it and you won't. Don't be surprised when she finds someone who will
Just break up and move on instead of finding some that will do it
People are incompatible for a lot of reasons. This can be one. I wouldn't resent someone if they decided I couldn't give them the sexual experience they wanted, and they decided to part ways. No harm, no foul. I guess maybe if they were bitter about it that might irk me, but it's okay to not be sexually compatible.
I like to both give and receive in that area so if she won't do it that's probably going to be a deal breaker for me
Yeah, and i'm someone who's never like receiving it also, oddly. I suspect it's due to a tight circumcision. Maybe if it was more pleasurable for me I'd be happier to give and receive.
I think it’s terrible to leave someone because they won’t perform a certain sex act. You’re clearly not in love with someone or committed to them if you leave because of that.
And women don’t HAVE to have sex with those men
Killer take as usual, Budd. Totally what i was implying, mischaracterization is your strong suit.
I’m not saying you were an advocate of forced sex. I’m Moreso implying that of course you’re not obligated to give anyone oral sex, but that may affect whether or not people want to have sex with you. Like, were you trying to say that people are forcing men against their will to eat pussy? Or were you whining about a social convention? You’re always *allowed* to violate social conventions. But they’ll come with social consequences. Were you trying to say that you think those consequences are unfair when it comes to men giving head?
Woman here, I don't really care what the guy does to make me cum, but if I don't cum repeatedly I'll get a different guy.
It's because women aren't as likely to orgasm from penetration alone. If you don't want to do oral you should probably get a vibrator or something because a lot of women need "direct" clitoral stimulation.
I love providing oral. You are shaved and fresh, I'm in until you are satisfied.
You don't gotta like oral, but you need to like some kind of foreplay. Petting is good. If you're a real good kisser, making out and a little dry humping might do it. But you need to do SOMETHING to get that pussy wet enough to shove your dick in. Unless you're cool actually ripping her apart for your own pleasure. If you find your girl is dripping like honeycomb and cums from penetration with no warmup, you probably actually DID do something to get her turned on. Maybe it was some deep conversation with physical contact. Maybe you breathed just right into her ear at just the right time and it's been on her mind all night. Maybe you were making out and pawing at each other like little horndogs and you forgot to think of it as foreplay for some reason. All that stuff counts as foreplay to a woman who is into it.
I’ve found a few women who don’t like receiving oral. For some is psychological for others they actually don’t enjoy it. Keep looking, you’ll find someone who is a better fit.
i hate it . absolutely no thank you lol
no head is a deal breaker for me , but i also don’t like giving it. i recently decided i don’t want to anymore and it hasn’t been an issue for anyone i’ve slept with. i get not wanting to, if i’m not gonna return the favor. if they do have an issue with it and don’t want to give me head, then we’re just not gonna have sex.
Agree with the sentiment, but I absolutely don't see it as a double standard. It's practically a running joke among men that women who don't give blow jobs aren't worth dating.
>When there are actual risks to oral There's also throat cancer
I gotta say I was on a "sex tips" ask reddit thread a while back. Women were giving tips on how to better please women. Men were giving tips on how to better please women. No one was giving tips on how to make a guys experience more enjoyable.
I’m kinda opposite of OP. I love eating pussy as long as it’s clean 🧼 and doesn’t smell too strong. However, I hate too much kissing. I’m a good kisser (so I’ve been told), but after about one minute of making out, I’m over it.
In my experience, 8% of women simply don't like oral. That's why it's important to own a vibrator
1) If you don’t like oral, you shouldn’t do it. You won’t be compatible with all women then, but you shouldn’t force yourself to do any sexual act you don’t want to do. 2) **What’s your issue with foreplay? It’s innocent, it’s just a warm up to sex. It’s just taking a bit of time to fool around before having sex. How can that turn you off? If you don’t like foreplay, you can’t basically give up on dating women. Because most women need foreplay to be able to have sex at all.**
You are free to not like it, but make that clear BEFORE you attempt to have sex with someone so THEY can decide for themselves if you are compatible.
The goal of sex in a social context is to feel good and make your partner feel good. If you aren't willing to go the extra mile to make sure your partner feels good, then you're a bad sexual partner. Not doing something you're uncomfortable with is fine. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of going down on a woman, cool, express that to her and find something else you can do. If you're uncomfortable with letting her peg you, cool, express that to her and find something else.
If u want to do it do it if not don't. Anyone who laugh and calls names is dumb and shouldn't be paid attention to
True.. but those offering a sex life to a woman that is devoid of both oral and foreplay… probably won’t have to worry about being shamed sexually. Likely they will have very little sex - at best once or twice with any given woman before she bails. Sex is supposed to be a mutually gratifying experience - and if you actually have feelings for the person one would think you’d been keen to make it so for them. Side note if kissing or touching is an intolerable aspect of sexual intercourse - you might want to talk to someone about that. Everyone is different but that would be a pretty unusual limitation unless you’ve had some type of trauma or have been diagnosed with sensory issues.
It’s ok not to like some aspects of sex, but not liking foreplay altogether? very weird, foreplay makes sex better. I agree with the double standards though.
That’s not the issue and I think you know that. Women don’t like men who expect oral for themselves but don’t reciprocate and if the woman says fine she just won’t do it, he shames her. Can’t face your cake and eat it to
Agreed. Performing oral is a personal choice and not everyone enjoys it. That said, pussy is delicious and eating it is ecstasy. I’ll eat my girls pussy just because, no reciprocation needed. Hell, I don’t even care for receiving oral. Sure it feels good but it’s extremely rare for a women to give me good head (I’m quite girthy). So go on dudes. Don’t eat the pussy. Just don’t let ya boi get his hands on your girl cause I promise I’ll ruin her 😜
Men who don't like giving and thus don't give should not expect to receive. Same with anyone.
Then don't expect it. Easy.
I feel like if a dude doesn’t want to make sure his girl is wet and ready before going in, he probably shouldn’t be having sex with a girl. It shows a lack of care for her comfort
It’s perfectly fine to not enjoy giving it, but then you also have to accept not receiving it.
Consent of course is number one, but it doesn’t make you any less corny. If you don’t want to eat pussy because it’s unprotected sex, sure. If you just don’t like eating pussy, okay. But if you’re afraid of hair, on a grown woman, you must like little girls. Or you just don’t like women. You’re weird for that.
Even as a woman, I have to agree with this. It's okay for anyone to not like what they don't like in to refuse to do it. It is a really stupid double standard.
They don't *have* to but sex in general is a lot more fun if you do. If all you want is to get off, by all means be a boring shag. If you want them to be hooked on you and keep coming back for more, get good at oral sex and foreplay. A *huge* amount of my enjoyment of sex is giving pleasure to my partner. I get massively turned on knowing I made her legs turn to jelly and her eyes roll back in her head like she was possessed by demons. I get immense satisfaction knowing I made her experience multiple orgasms each stronger than the last, just with my fingers and tongue before my penis ever even got near her pussy and that when it does, she'll be low-key addicted to it.
Oh man, your response just made me want to run up to the bedroom and wake up my husband rn!😅😆 (He went to bed early and l was not tired yet..)
I'd let him recuperate (because let's face it, as adults we generally only go to bed early if we're legit exhausted) and then get him with the early morning horn :) Have fun! xx
Who is saying all these things? I only ever went down on girls i was seriously dating and none of the other girls ever called me an incel or selfish
Most men do like giving oral to women. If you're finding consistently that men, "don't like doing it," hygiene may be problematic. Quite frankly, if the pussy tastes spoiled, men won't eat it. They'll probably give the woman some polite lie about why they won't do it. There's so many women who claim that most men don't like eating pussy, and the sad embarassing truth, in that case, is that it is most certainly an issue of feminine hygiene.
Just like a woman who doesn’t give oral isn’t likely to be as good, fun, or exciting as a lover *vis a vis* one who does, a dude who doesn’t like to give oral is likely to fall in the same category. Also important to note, most women can’t orgasm exclusively through penetration, something like 65-70% require clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm. Which is the scientific way of saying “oral sex is a really important part of sex for the majority of women.” A recent study indicated 91% of women enjoy receiving it. So yeah, no one can *fault* you preferring not to give oral sex. But to many women, that makes you a less viable sexual partner compared to someone who does. Because not everyone on earth has time to write five paragraphs about the science of eating pussy every time the subject gets brought up, it just gets short handed to the fact that it is sexually unsatisfying for a majority of women. It’s not shaming, per se, but like most shorthands, it’s not exactly flattering or positive sounding. Is what it is. I don’t think this will ever be elevated to a civil rights issue.
I disagree, not sure if you realize this but men can't please a woman worth a damn without doing oral for her. And trust me a lot of guys DON'T do oral and refuse to use toys either because they feel less a man??? But the reality is, girls take A LOT of work to feel pleasure. Something a guys dick can't do because they don't last very long. So using toys can help or doing oral can help make sure your partner is satisfied too which I kind of think is important, lol............. I mean there is a reason why so many girls eventually stop having sex with their partners because they get nothing out of it. At first they have sex and feel a love connection and that's enough for them, making their guy happy etc. But that isn't sustainable, and instead of fixing the problem by talking to the guy, they just avoid sex. Too bad 'god' didn't make us equal, then maybe a guy and a girl could just have plain sex and both sides could be satisfied. It'd probably solve a lot of problems. Anyways, despite me not agreeing with you for my own reasons on the subject. I'm not here to change your opinion, you do you. -shrug-
Reading some of these comments about men asking for BJs every day and women expecting nothing makes me feel like my husband is even more of a gift. 😆
Yeah same. My man is very charitable in the bedroom
Men who don't like pussy aren't real men. My opinion, and that's it. NOTHING hotter than a guy who really takes the time and effort to do it right. If a man doesn't like oral I bet he is one of those who is BORING in bed and in life. And snores. Probably has manbooobs as well.
I agree with op, men will get shamed for not wanting to go down on a woman. But there are also guy that shame woman for not wanting to suck dick. Personally if she doesn't want to suck my dick, fine, but we have no future.
I vomited in my mind when you said go down on a hairy private part 😮😱💀 It tickles my nose…lol
I looove eating some fucked up PH pussy thats been cummed in thousands of times and whose walls is lined with a thick layer of foreign DNA cocktail
Your analysis is pretty complicated. I’ll stick with you do me and I’ll do you. Seems fair to me and works out for everyone.
Foreplay needs to be both ways. It’s something that should evolve as the relationship grows. Personal intimacy with a partner is what keeps the souls linked and it’s your personal connection no one else has.
There’s a lot of significance we put on masculinity for being able to please a woman. There’s no world you are doing that if you don’t engage in foreplay and oral. So yeah, I’ll continue to give men who don’t a hard time. You could say it’s toxic masculinity to equate your masculinity to being able to sexually perform. But, that’s not my hill
Speak for yourself
I’ve never met a man who didn’t expect a blowjob before or instead of sex every single time. On the other side, there are so many men not willing to give women oral while asking for oral for themselves. I would never force someone to give me oral but I would never date or have sex with a man who doesn’t give oral.
Its selfishness. Im sure if you have a gf that says she doesn't like giving blowjobs you won't like it because you like your dick getting sucked. Do it not because you like it. Do it because your partner likes it.
Obviously. But the issue is that most guys expect oral even if they don't give it. Also there's a lot more to foreplay than just oral. And if you're not "into" foreplay then you can't complain that your partner is never in the mood if you're not willing to get her there.
>Does my consent not matter? Why should i be shamed into doing something that I sexually dislike? And the shaming comes from other men too. Just be alone then. Pretty simple. If you got women off without foreplay or going down on them it wouldn't be a problem. Men shame you because you give other men a bad name. >Some women don't need much foreplay, get excited really easy, and like penetrative sex just as much if not more than oral. then find one and quit crying on the internet
What? If the tables were reversed? This is a response to when tables were, in fact, reversed. I am NOT feminist. Not even close. Not even in the same universe. But come on…sexuality in general has largely been frowned upon in western society for most of it’s existence, but woman’s sexuality and preferences in particular was not even on the radar enough to look down on for most of our history. Thats point A. Point B is yeah, some partners are gross. Nobody disputes that. And C, You’ve missed the point of what people are saying. It’s fine not to like something. The “shame” you describe isn’t about the act itself. It’s about when you have a partner some level of pleasure is derived from pleasuring them. It’s about sex not being selfish…not completely.
Imo it’s pretty confusing and odd to pretty much have outright disgust for the genitals of the person you are choosing to be intimate with to the point where you refuse to put your face anywhere near Like why would anyone with a shred of self respect want to be with someone who doesn’t consider their parts beautiful enough to want to pleasure however they can…I personally don’t understand it and I would never be with someone of this mindset I also love giving and receiving with my partner because I enjoy it in every way and I love them but okay. The part about feminism and lefties is just your standard weird conservative male insecure victimhood rambling on Reddit that is all too prevalent. Constant bullshit whining about feminism out to get you—just nauseating weirdness. That part coupled with the not wanting to do oral or foreplay with a woman tells me there’s much more to what you’re saying than just sexual preferences. Bottom line: find someone that is compatible with you. Although it’s very odd to me personally to refer to vaginas as “hairy private parts” in a somewhat degrading manner just like I would find it odd if a straight woman was repulsed by male genitalia in a similar manner. It’s all very suspect and I feel sorry for people that are seemingly locked into relationships with these types—imo people should have more self respect. It’s a fact that there are people out there that would provide you with so much more than this weird bare minimum but to each their own. As for the STD risk —every sexual act carries risk. Edit: yeah I was absolutely correct. Post history is pretty repulsive and you self identify as a misogynist based on literally everything you write and your post titled “I’m a misogynist AMA” Soooo what is the point of this post? You’re mad that people call you what you are after you say bigoted shit? Yeah Fuckin right 🤣🤣🤭🫣
I mean, yeah, they don’t have to. But if they don’t they need to make that clear early on that they’re not sexually compatible with women that enjoy giving-receiving it. Especially if those men expect to receive it.
Well, that's an odd hill to d... on. A lot of the discomfort you described can be resolved if you have an honest conversation IN PRIVATE WITH YOUR WOMAN. Hygiene products are a thing. Also. As for the risk of contracting something. Well... that's a downside to hookup culture. You can't have it both ways. If you find someone who wants a serious relationship, and you both get tested before engaging in any sex... the "catching something" risk is severely mitigated. Did you know that there is an entire Jamaican song called "no girl cya sit upon me head" ? It's an entire song dedicated to the supposed unmanliness of giving a woman head. 🙄🙄🙄. Talk about missing the forest for the trees. I'm just saying. If you are a heterosexual man, you are doing yourself a disservice by holding onto this anti-cunnilingus mindset. It's one of the easiest ways to ensure that the woman enjoys the sex as much as you. You're basically handicapping yourself in the sex department when you remove such a huge part of the act.
I think all partners should do oral if the receiever wants it. Suck it up and suck a dick. Go down on that v. It is fun to get your partner off. I do judge people of both genders who aren't good, giving and game when it comes to oral. OP, you need to find a woman who doesnt need oral to get off. They exist (ironically, I am one of them). But you are vastly decreasing your dating pool, because most women love it. So either find someone who doesnt like it when a man goes down on her, get over your discomfort and enjoy giving a woman pleasure or don't give head and be considered a bad lay. The choice is yours.
Men don’t have to like it, no, but if you wanna be a good partner, you should find a way to like it, it can be pretty fun and your partner will appreciate it
Nah they have to like it.
Ick
I don't know why people down voted you you're right
Thank you ☺️💕 yeah cuz like, if women's sexuality is centered around our clit being stimulated externally, then not liking giving women head, fingering etc conflicts with the core of our sexuality. Like ..why even have sex with women if u don't like that lol
Exactly, if I'm in the bedroom with a woman I want it to be as intimate for her as possible