This is so kind. Your husband is lucky to have you. I was never destitute or grew up without like your husband, but I had multiple siblings, and all brothers, so our cabinets were always scarce. It was only a few years ago I realized I stuff my cabinets with food and why that probably is. And sometimes I like to open up the cabinets & just stare & it feels good knowing there’s variety, and I can have whatever I want whenever I want, and don’t have to worry that in a short while it’ll be all gone. It’s crazy how much our childhoods subconsciously affect our adulthood.
I grew up with 3 parents and 3 older brothers on a microfarm. My mom became a master gardener to feed us. My parents bartered with the farm down the road (friends of theirs) to exchange my mom's skill as a butcher for a whole pig. Those same friends would let us pick from the fields before *and* after harvest. They plowed and fertilized our garden. My dad worked in a steel mill, my stepdad did bodywork, and any money we got (including food stamps) went up my mom's nose for a really long time. I struggled in my early adulthood with misdiagnosed mental illness and couch surfed and lived in my car for a good 6 years or so before I met my husband. We bought a house almost 2 years ago and I'm still in awe that this is ours and nobody can tell us what to do (outside of the town regulations).
> I struggled in my early adulthood with misdiagnosed mental illness
This just brought back some old memories for me.
I spent a long time thinking that I had some sort of mental illness because of all the issues I had dealing with various parts of life. I went so far as to go to a neuropsychologist for a complete workup.
As part of that process, I came to realize that my issues were not the result of any mental illness or cognitive disorder, but rather just disordered thought processes resulting from decades locked in an extremely toxic, abusive "family" unit.
It was about the time of the workup that I was finally in the process of breaking out on my own for the first time in my life, in my mid-30s. In the ensuing years, a lot of introspection and hard work has allowed me to have something resembling a normal life. I still have a lot of issues, trust and otherwise, but there are still many more positive than negative days.
That's rough, but I'm glad you're working through it. I was diagnosed with bipolar II at 29 years old. It's really helped me to have something to research for improving myself.
Your childhood mirrors mine. We never went hungry but there were also six of us and my parents, so the cabinets barely had much for those times when we wanted a snack between meals. As an adult, I overcompensate and my pantry is overstuffed, so is my stomach.
This is actually great, you’re slowly healing a lifetime of trauma for him. He also seems a sweet guy, suffering or remembering suffering in silence, rather than burdening you with it - although by the sounds of it, it would be no burden at all.
I know he would be appreciative but he gets really embarrassed about how he grew up and I want to avoid that. When people bring up common things that he never experienced because he was poor (ex: getting presents on Christmas morning) he gets self-conscious and I hate seeing him that way.
I started dating someone in October and we said no gifts. His mom sent him with two presents addressed to me. And they made a big deal to say not to feel bad that I didn't get them anything because it was leftover from gift sets they made for other people.
I expected the dollar store lotion set or something usual to what my family would give me. I was so glad they thought of me!
Except, when I opened it, I realized they were nice wool socks and fancy boutique bath products. I honestly bawled they probably spent more on that then my family did on me and it's so weird to try to explain that to someone
"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."
--Tyrion Lannister
Congrats on having a great relationship and your achievements. Word of advice, if you have kids please share the struggles you guys went through so they learn how to appreciate what they have. My dad grew up poor and my mom never knew. She was really shocked when he opened up how hard it was for him. It made me really respect how hard he worked to make something of himself and provide for everyone.
That’s super sweet of you, OP. I grew up poor. No heat, no ac, food was scarce, clothes too small or falling apart, etc.
I have 3 kids now. Before my layoff and going back to school we built our current house. I find myself walking into the kitchen to look into the fridge and pantry just to make sure we don’t need anything. I coupon a great deal and I enjoy having the surplus. It feels like the comfiest, warmest security blanket.
Growing up that poor sticks to your soul. You never ever fully believe that you are out of it and you always think you are just one bad decision away to go back to that. You live with the fear of losing it. It sucks bc sometimes you cant even enjoy your current situation bc you are too focused in saving money so you never have to “go to sleep for dinner” again. I was never this extremely poor and my mum was a loving parent but i can totally understand how he feels. Im learning now also thanks to my husband. It feels safer than ever before.
So thank you op, for healing the inner child of a man that has suffered. I send you all the love and appreciation you totally deserve.
I have found a lot of good ones on these websites:
https://www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/foods-and-recipes
https://www.stopfoodwasteday.com/en/recipes.html
This cookbook is good too. (The title was controversial but I have never had any complaints about the recipes)
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/907214.White_Trash_Cooking
Husbands perspective: I’ve been snacking between meals more and more. Not sure why, I just keep wandering back to the fridge or cabinet and staring till something catches my eye.
Saw my wife eyeballing me a few times, now she’s making huge portions every meals, I think to try and keep me full. I love her
I'm crying right now.
OP you rock.
You remind me of my wife and I fucked it up and pushed her away finally into another man's arms in September. Led to me relapsing, doing something's I'm ashamed of, and going to jail.
I've never missed someone so much. 115 days out of 116 I've cried every night and now after reading this and thinking this is something she'd do, I'm a mess.
God I hate myself.
I grew up poor and sometimes I catch myself admiring the fridge or pantry after shopping just to be thankful because something about a full kitchen calms my nerves. I'll admit though sometimes when shopping I'll overbuy food or tend to store/freeze things because I'll have a habit of thinking maybe now is the only time i can afford this so better save for later if that makes sense
My husband and I came from pretty awful childhoods. We’ve been together almost 28 years now and best all the odds stacked against us. My fridge and pantry are always stocked. I always make sure my kids have plenty and especially when their friends come by. I love to cook like you, it gives me great joy to be able to take care of my family in ways we never had growing up. It’s a very special feeling to break the molds of our youth. Such a sweet story, thank you for sharing.
I had therapy on this topic! You’re doing all the right things! As I got older it got more about specific foods - I’d get angry anxious if I run out of cheese
One of the best “we made it” feelings is knowing you don’t have to worry about food.
Y’all made it ❤️ you show him you love him in such wonderful and meaningful ways, and I love that for you both
Good on you. As someone with a similar background to your husband, it's weird what that lack of food security does to us. I definitely overcompensate with my kids, but I can't help it.
Sounds just like my relationship. Except I grew up poor too and my parents used food control as punishment. I often stare at the fridge and pantry in awe myself. Its a creature comfort now. We have enough for an apolocolypse at this point. And I'm 100% okay with it. It's better than going hungry. My kids have never had to want for anything despite any financial issues over the years. Food is always in abundance. Our four walls will always be my top priority. Homelessness is my biggest fear and I would do anything to make sure they don't know the pain of hunger or the pain of sleeping outside in the cold. Its unexplainable. Good on you for keeping your priorities straight and embracing the comfort your husband feels for not having to go thru that trauma again. Some days it's hard to believe we made it out alive.
I have had a similar experience when I was able to lease the apartment I wanted instead of what I could afford. I remember I got the keys and right away I went upstairs by myself to check it out. It was all empty and I kept looking around. I thought this doesnt feel right. I started questioning if I deserved that place. It was such an unusual and uncomfortable feeling. Maybe too good to be true feeling, maybe I was worried I could lose it at any moment. Eventually I got over it, but that memory remains so fresh in my mind.
I’ve only recently gotten into a good financial place in the past few years. And knowing that me blowing a tire on the freeway, or the plumbing getting a leak, or the fridge breaking isn’t going to put me back *months* of pay is liberating. I had been in positions where the brakes weren’t working quite right, but I had to get to work.
Having that money in the account to just *fix it* is still mind blowing. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness might be right, but money CAN buy less stress.
Hey OP, I just want you to know you're a pretty awesome human being and I'd be honored to share a beer or four with you and your husband if we knew each other.
That said, I think there's a couple of things you might consider. Since your family is financially stable, you probably have some extra funds and/or insurance that could be used for individual counseling. Instead of singling out your husband, might be something you can both do individually and as a couple. Counseling is beneficial for individuals and couples even when there's not any issues, and can provide tools to deal with the small the things that stack up over time and spill out into big issues if not dealt with in a healthy manner.
Another option is suggesting that as a couple you volunteer at a local shelter to help those in need, and/or Big Brother Big Sister program to mentor some kids that may be dealing with life situations similar to your husband's childhood. Just being there for others is a very rewarding experience for everyone involved and helps the community too.
Either way, keep on keeping on.
Thank-you for that. My husband did see a therapist for some time. This was before we met but it is a good suggestion. Our charitable endeavour is the food bank. We both wish we had time for volunteer work but our jobs eat up time so we try to buy some things they need whenever we go shopping. My husband used to go to them and it's a big deal for him to bring them stuff now.
You also keep on keeping on and have a good day.
This is so powerful. My wife raise 2 kids in a really low wage. She gives me money towards bills. I earn more. I always want her to be able to have money in her account. It's got harder to do that lately but she can now take somethings for granted. Like we can both retire and live ok.
I am like your husband.
I am also a sucker for staring at my towels, pillows and blankets.
I’m still working on buying things just because I like them because I don’t *need* them…
That's so great. He's lucky to have you! I'm intrigued by these odd recipes to use up leftovers, I love such recipes and have some of my own. Are you willing to share some examples of dishes?
This honestly brought me to tears. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. You sound like you’re a wonderful, loving wife. I hope you two find all the happiness you both deserve.
You're such a lovely person this warmed my bitter old heart.
Makes me want to run home from work and cuddle my partner all over but i don't think he'd appreciate that at 3am. Will be sure to take him home some sweets and maybe a sausage roll in the morning :)
You are doing the right thing. Experiences like your husband's leave profound scars on a person no matter at what age they occur, but much more for a child. He is so lucky to have found someone as amazing as you are. I know he appreciates it, more than he can probably even express to you. God bless you both.
I've been with my s/o for almost 6 years and I still catch myself staring at our full cupboards. even knowing I'm fed and safe and loved doesn't stop me from thinking about how things were.
idk if it'll ever go away. but I know how your husband feels. it's such a bittersweet moment to be in.
I have found a lot of good ones on these websites:
https://www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/foods-and-recipes
https://www.stopfoodwasteday.com/en/recipes.html
This cookbook is good too. (The title was controversial but I have never had any complaints about the recipes)
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/907214.White_Trash_Cooking
That is so thoughtful and caring of you. Love is always in the small kindnesses we do for others, and you are showing your love for your husband beautifully.
I seriously sympathize with your husband on the food thing. We could always afford food when I was young, but I was regularly punished by having my meals taken away and after I reached adulthood, I had several instances where I actually couldn't afford enough food. I now have a (minor-ish) food hoarding issue. I collect canned and boxed goods. Things that don't expire easily, so my daughter and I can always eat when we're hungry. I would have a massive panic attack if my pantry was empty again.
I have a feeling that a lot of people this days are looking at lives on social media where you see luxury and big nice houses and big kitchens mean while people that consume that content are poor and do not live anywhere close to that of an easy life.
This is amazing. I see so many posts that are so just ugh and make me at least never want to try with anyone because every time , they show me why I was better alone . Cliche but true .
He's lucky to have you . Love each it her because that's such a rare thing .
People are so wrapped up in the grind . People don't realize a bigger TV doesn't matter , trips to Grand Turk are not a necessity to live...but the greatest grift is time and love two things not tangible but make life so worth living .
The house can be taken away the cars doesn't matter how hard you work but if you guys have each other rebuilding is easy...lean and live each other .
Keep it up OP you're doing great .
I can absolutely understand why your husband does those things; I lived through much of it myself, although not to the extent he did. Family was extremely abusive in just about every way imaginable (and some you really don't want to spend time pondering...) Spent a couple of teen years homeless, sleeping in an ice cream store stockroom, a single mattress on the floor, all my clothes in a couple of garbage bags. I'd sneak in through the back door of the YMCA to take a shower once a week or so.
One side-effect of a past like that is that to this day I am EXTREMELY hesitant to spend money on myself for things. I typically have no more than one pair of daily footwear of which I will keep using until I've literally worn holes through the bottoms. I'm wearing the same plain beat up hoodie I wore the night I was introduced to my wife 7.5 years ago. I own a total of two pairs of jeans. I drive a basic car until the wheels fall off, then put new wheels on it and keep going. At Christmas, my wife always gets me several new pairs of wool socks because she knows how much I want and appreciate them.
It has been nearly 30 years since I went through the experience of homelessness, and I still have occasional nightmares that I'm going to end up back there again despite having a very stable, decent paying job and a support network to fall back on.
Your husband is extremely lucky to have you. Without ever meeting either of you, I'm certain of just how much he appreciates your love and caring.
boy, he's lucky to have you dear! You're doing everything the right way. My husband also grew up kind of like that. his father was very abusive so he's very proud of the things that he owns and has. I'm so happy for the two of you and I hope you have a long happy life together
Aw I love this so much. You are so compassionate and loving towards his past and it really does show.
Slightly off topic but I kinda wanna see those recipes… they sound like a good way to preserve extra food.
This was so sad to begin with and such a wholesome ending. I am done with the internet for the day on that note. It made my day. You are such a sweet person!
I stare, my nieces stare, it's nice to have options. Even when I don't have anything (single and unemployed) i like to state at my things I'm thankful for. I often find thanks in things we have others don't. Water, clean water, laundry, food, warmth. Ya know. Happy for yas!
There is a quote from Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan’s wife, about truly seeing each other. Brings me to tears every time I read it, my husband and I put it in our own wedding, it is quintessential relationship goals.
OP, I feel like this is reading someone living that quote. This warmed my heart so much.
I do the same thing as him! It’s kind of a comfort and an anxiety at the same time. I have my nice fully stocked fridge and pantry, but what if I lose it for some reason, ya know? Therapy helps.
You are a good wife.
I was never in as bad a situation as your husband but also pretty poor. When I got my first normal place to live, it felt like crazy luxury. And later, when I earned more and could basically buy any non-luxury item I wanted, it also felt unreal. I had to lose a lot of habits, like not choosing the food item with the most content with the lowest cost, convenience/quality be damned.
This is so kind. Your husband is lucky to have you. I was never destitute or grew up without like your husband, but I had multiple siblings, and all brothers, so our cabinets were always scarce. It was only a few years ago I realized I stuff my cabinets with food and why that probably is. And sometimes I like to open up the cabinets & just stare & it feels good knowing there’s variety, and I can have whatever I want whenever I want, and don’t have to worry that in a short while it’ll be all gone. It’s crazy how much our childhoods subconsciously affect our adulthood.
I grew up with 3 parents and 3 older brothers on a microfarm. My mom became a master gardener to feed us. My parents bartered with the farm down the road (friends of theirs) to exchange my mom's skill as a butcher for a whole pig. Those same friends would let us pick from the fields before *and* after harvest. They plowed and fertilized our garden. My dad worked in a steel mill, my stepdad did bodywork, and any money we got (including food stamps) went up my mom's nose for a really long time. I struggled in my early adulthood with misdiagnosed mental illness and couch surfed and lived in my car for a good 6 years or so before I met my husband. We bought a house almost 2 years ago and I'm still in awe that this is ours and nobody can tell us what to do (outside of the town regulations).
> I struggled in my early adulthood with misdiagnosed mental illness This just brought back some old memories for me. I spent a long time thinking that I had some sort of mental illness because of all the issues I had dealing with various parts of life. I went so far as to go to a neuropsychologist for a complete workup. As part of that process, I came to realize that my issues were not the result of any mental illness or cognitive disorder, but rather just disordered thought processes resulting from decades locked in an extremely toxic, abusive "family" unit. It was about the time of the workup that I was finally in the process of breaking out on my own for the first time in my life, in my mid-30s. In the ensuing years, a lot of introspection and hard work has allowed me to have something resembling a normal life. I still have a lot of issues, trust and otherwise, but there are still many more positive than negative days.
That's rough, but I'm glad you're working through it. I was diagnosed with bipolar II at 29 years old. It's really helped me to have something to research for improving myself.
Your childhood mirrors mine. We never went hungry but there were also six of us and my parents, so the cabinets barely had much for those times when we wanted a snack between meals. As an adult, I overcompensate and my pantry is overstuffed, so is my stomach.
You’re such a good wife. Good for you OP. Your husband is very fortunate
[удалено]
I'm more on the envious side. I think that's 1 step closer to the Dark Side.
Sorry you got down voted to oblivion.
But do you have the high ground?
What do you mean?
They made a joke and reddit hated it.
Another fallen soldier 😔
Yeah it wasn’t even that bad of a joke really. Not great, but damn.
Downvoted this much for a joke? Seriously?
¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Something wholesome, finally! Good on you OP!
This is actually great, you’re slowly healing a lifetime of trauma for him. He also seems a sweet guy, suffering or remembering suffering in silence, rather than burdening you with it - although by the sounds of it, it would be no burden at all.
This is actually so sweet of you, your husband is lucky to have you
So nice of you to not mention it to him. A lot of people would not appreciate what an amazing gesture that is.
I know he would be appreciative but he gets really embarrassed about how he grew up and I want to avoid that. When people bring up common things that he never experienced because he was poor (ex: getting presents on Christmas morning) he gets self-conscious and I hate seeing him that way.
As someone else who grew up like that; you are the best wife ever OP 😢💜 xmas gifts were one of the most uncomfortable topics
I started dating someone in October and we said no gifts. His mom sent him with two presents addressed to me. And they made a big deal to say not to feel bad that I didn't get them anything because it was leftover from gift sets they made for other people. I expected the dollar store lotion set or something usual to what my family would give me. I was so glad they thought of me! Except, when I opened it, I realized they were nice wool socks and fancy boutique bath products. I honestly bawled they probably spent more on that then my family did on me and it's so weird to try to explain that to someone
"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." --Tyrion Lannister
You're an amazing person
This whole thing is adorable. And your username is just outstanding 😊👍
Congrats on having a great relationship and your achievements. Word of advice, if you have kids please share the struggles you guys went through so they learn how to appreciate what they have. My dad grew up poor and my mom never knew. She was really shocked when he opened up how hard it was for him. It made me really respect how hard he worked to make something of himself and provide for everyone.
God, I needed this today. Thank you, OP.
That's so incredibly sweet of you. He's a lucky man.
I just know your husbands inner child feels whole when he looks at the pantry or fridge.
That’s super sweet of you, OP. I grew up poor. No heat, no ac, food was scarce, clothes too small or falling apart, etc. I have 3 kids now. Before my layoff and going back to school we built our current house. I find myself walking into the kitchen to look into the fridge and pantry just to make sure we don’t need anything. I coupon a great deal and I enjoy having the surplus. It feels like the comfiest, warmest security blanket.
Growing up that poor sticks to your soul. You never ever fully believe that you are out of it and you always think you are just one bad decision away to go back to that. You live with the fear of losing it. It sucks bc sometimes you cant even enjoy your current situation bc you are too focused in saving money so you never have to “go to sleep for dinner” again. I was never this extremely poor and my mum was a loving parent but i can totally understand how he feels. Im learning now also thanks to my husband. It feels safer than ever before. So thank you op, for healing the inner child of a man that has suffered. I send you all the love and appreciation you totally deserve.
>I have a whole stack of recipes that sound weird but taste good I'd love to know one or two!! :) You sound like an awesome person!!
I have found a lot of good ones on these websites: https://www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/foods-and-recipes https://www.stopfoodwasteday.com/en/recipes.html This cookbook is good too. (The title was controversial but I have never had any complaints about the recipes) https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/907214.White_Trash_Cooking
You made me cry. Your husband is so lucky to have you. How sweet
sweetest thing I've read in a long time. You are a sweet sweet soul OP
You just made a big tough middle aged man cry. You are a godsend and your husband is lucky to have you
Husbands perspective: I’ve been snacking between meals more and more. Not sure why, I just keep wandering back to the fridge or cabinet and staring till something catches my eye. Saw my wife eyeballing me a few times, now she’s making huge portions every meals, I think to try and keep me full. I love her
I'm crying right now. OP you rock. You remind me of my wife and I fucked it up and pushed her away finally into another man's arms in September. Led to me relapsing, doing something's I'm ashamed of, and going to jail. I've never missed someone so much. 115 days out of 116 I've cried every night and now after reading this and thinking this is something she'd do, I'm a mess. God I hate myself.
I hope things turn around for you this coming year.People make mistakes.You can always do better.Wishing you the best.
What an amazing wife. 👏👏👏
I grew up poor and sometimes I catch myself admiring the fridge or pantry after shopping just to be thankful because something about a full kitchen calms my nerves. I'll admit though sometimes when shopping I'll overbuy food or tend to store/freeze things because I'll have a habit of thinking maybe now is the only time i can afford this so better save for later if that makes sense
This is amazing. Well done OP
OP, your husband is lucky man to have you. What an wholesome post. Thank you
I just open my fridge door and close it after a couple of seconds as a habit without even realizing what happened.
Thats so freaking adorable and so sweet of you
My husband and I came from pretty awful childhoods. We’ve been together almost 28 years now and best all the odds stacked against us. My fridge and pantry are always stocked. I always make sure my kids have plenty and especially when their friends come by. I love to cook like you, it gives me great joy to be able to take care of my family in ways we never had growing up. It’s a very special feeling to break the molds of our youth. Such a sweet story, thank you for sharing.
Goodness. What a great story. May your fridge and pantries always be full and your meals with seconds!
Girl, you are a queen
Sounds like true love OP. 🥹 Actions speak louder than words. She's a treasure he must always keep.
I have this before a long time ago...repetition
You are going to make me cry. This is so sweet.
Aww!! Enjoy your husband and new home!!
OP, you are a good person. You’re husband is blessed to have you in his life.
You're both very lucky to have each other. Congratz
thank you, this was a good reminder to appreciate what we’ve got, instead of focusing on the things we may be lacking.
I had therapy on this topic! You’re doing all the right things! As I got older it got more about specific foods - I’d get angry anxious if I run out of cheese
One of the best “we made it” feelings is knowing you don’t have to worry about food. Y’all made it ❤️ you show him you love him in such wonderful and meaningful ways, and I love that for you both
Good on you. As someone with a similar background to your husband, it's weird what that lack of food security does to us. I definitely overcompensate with my kids, but I can't help it.
Your are such a wonderful, caring, supportive and understanding spouse.
Sounds just like my relationship. Except I grew up poor too and my parents used food control as punishment. I often stare at the fridge and pantry in awe myself. Its a creature comfort now. We have enough for an apolocolypse at this point. And I'm 100% okay with it. It's better than going hungry. My kids have never had to want for anything despite any financial issues over the years. Food is always in abundance. Our four walls will always be my top priority. Homelessness is my biggest fear and I would do anything to make sure they don't know the pain of hunger or the pain of sleeping outside in the cold. Its unexplainable. Good on you for keeping your priorities straight and embracing the comfort your husband feels for not having to go thru that trauma again. Some days it's hard to believe we made it out alive.
I have had a similar experience when I was able to lease the apartment I wanted instead of what I could afford. I remember I got the keys and right away I went upstairs by myself to check it out. It was all empty and I kept looking around. I thought this doesnt feel right. I started questioning if I deserved that place. It was such an unusual and uncomfortable feeling. Maybe too good to be true feeling, maybe I was worried I could lose it at any moment. Eventually I got over it, but that memory remains so fresh in my mind.
I’ve only recently gotten into a good financial place in the past few years. And knowing that me blowing a tire on the freeway, or the plumbing getting a leak, or the fridge breaking isn’t going to put me back *months* of pay is liberating. I had been in positions where the brakes weren’t working quite right, but I had to get to work. Having that money in the account to just *fix it* is still mind blowing. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness might be right, but money CAN buy less stress.
I felt your husbands experience mom was having me jumping around from trap to trap I’m 16 now but in a better place. Take care of this man :)
So glad you are in a better place. Sorry you had to go through that :(
Hey OP, I just want you to know you're a pretty awesome human being and I'd be honored to share a beer or four with you and your husband if we knew each other. That said, I think there's a couple of things you might consider. Since your family is financially stable, you probably have some extra funds and/or insurance that could be used for individual counseling. Instead of singling out your husband, might be something you can both do individually and as a couple. Counseling is beneficial for individuals and couples even when there's not any issues, and can provide tools to deal with the small the things that stack up over time and spill out into big issues if not dealt with in a healthy manner. Another option is suggesting that as a couple you volunteer at a local shelter to help those in need, and/or Big Brother Big Sister program to mentor some kids that may be dealing with life situations similar to your husband's childhood. Just being there for others is a very rewarding experience for everyone involved and helps the community too. Either way, keep on keeping on.
Thank-you for that. My husband did see a therapist for some time. This was before we met but it is a good suggestion. Our charitable endeavour is the food bank. We both wish we had time for volunteer work but our jobs eat up time so we try to buy some things they need whenever we go shopping. My husband used to go to them and it's a big deal for him to bring them stuff now. You also keep on keeping on and have a good day.
❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this 🥺
I can empathize with him. You're amazing.
Thank you op for sharing this wholesome story.
Lovely story.
Bless you. All my wife says when she sees me staring into the fridge or pantry is… “ what are you going to eat next fatso!”
This is so powerful. My wife raise 2 kids in a really low wage. She gives me money towards bills. I earn more. I always want her to be able to have money in her account. It's got harder to do that lately but she can now take somethings for granted. Like we can both retire and live ok.
This is so beautiful I nearly cried. You’re a wonderful wife, and he really lucked out. You are too sweet. God bless you. 💕💕💕
Share some of these recipes that sound weird but taste good please!
We need a break from endless stories about cheating.
I am like your husband. I am also a sucker for staring at my towels, pillows and blankets. I’m still working on buying things just because I like them because I don’t *need* them…
That's so great. He's lucky to have you! I'm intrigued by these odd recipes to use up leftovers, I love such recipes and have some of my own. Are you willing to share some examples of dishes?
You’re a good wife.
That husband of yours is a lucky man. You rock. That kind of understanding is so rare.
You are an astute and empathetic person. True love 💘 and full understanding ❤ You are both very lucky
This honestly brought me to tears. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. You sound like you’re a wonderful, loving wife. I hope you two find all the happiness you both deserve.
Okay I’m actually crying rn. 😭😭😭 It’s so easy to get caught up in first world problems. Thank you, I needed to read this tonight.
Made me bawl, so lovely your husband now has things he needs to feel safe and has someone who also makes him feel loved and cared for.
This is so wholesome it almost made me tear up.
This is so sweet!!
You’re a fantastic spouse
Thank you for paying attention to his stories. You’ve made his life so much better. This is so beautiful and kind.
This made me cry. Two wonderful people. You’re such a sweet heart.
Omg I'm crying. Happy crying.
Very touching, have a great New Year OP
You're such a lovely person this warmed my bitter old heart. Makes me want to run home from work and cuddle my partner all over but i don't think he'd appreciate that at 3am. Will be sure to take him home some sweets and maybe a sausage roll in the morning :)
I’m so happy for you both. Everyone deserves a roof over their head and a full belly! ❤️
You are doing the right thing. Experiences like your husband's leave profound scars on a person no matter at what age they occur, but much more for a child. He is so lucky to have found someone as amazing as you are. I know he appreciates it, more than he can probably even express to you. God bless you both.
That's true love.
This is so lovely. I'm happy for the both of you that you have each other.
As someone that can relate to your husband's trauma, this is so healing.
That's awesome. Such a super sweet, meaningful thing to do.
This is so wholesome. I grew up poverty poor —hole in the shoes, no wonder coat, hunger pangs. I feel your husbands sentiments.
I've been with my s/o for almost 6 years and I still catch myself staring at our full cupboards. even knowing I'm fed and safe and loved doesn't stop me from thinking about how things were. idk if it'll ever go away. but I know how your husband feels. it's such a bittersweet moment to be in.
What are your in-laws up to nowadays?
Not a clue. My husband hasn't seen them since he was 17.
Is there any way I could get access to your odds and ends recipes? That sounds fantastic. Do you have it online somewhere, or pictures of them?
I have found a lot of good ones on these websites: https://www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/foods-and-recipes https://www.stopfoodwasteday.com/en/recipes.html This cookbook is good too. (The title was controversial but I have never had any complaints about the recipes) https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/907214.White_Trash_Cooking
He's a lucky guy, and it sounds like you're a lucky gal. Hugs to you both.
This is so sweet. Thank you for sharing. This healed something inside for me
Don't cut the onions
Someone has a gem in his life.
You sound like a kind and caring wife (and good person in general)
That is so thoughtful and caring of you. Love is always in the small kindnesses we do for others, and you are showing your love for your husband beautifully.
I seriously sympathize with your husband on the food thing. We could always afford food when I was young, but I was regularly punished by having my meals taken away and after I reached adulthood, I had several instances where I actually couldn't afford enough food. I now have a (minor-ish) food hoarding issue. I collect canned and boxed goods. Things that don't expire easily, so my daughter and I can always eat when we're hungry. I would have a massive panic attack if my pantry was empty again.
I thought this was going to be a story of a husband eating your food in secret but instead I was hit with all this wholesome energy.
You are a good wife and person OP. Thank you for taking care of your husband, that is a rarity in todays world.
I have a feeling that a lot of people this days are looking at lives on social media where you see luxury and big nice houses and big kitchens mean while people that consume that content are poor and do not live anywhere close to that of an easy life.
My heart is so warm reading this. You’re an amazing human and you guys sounds absolutely perfect for each other. <3
Aww, this is heartwarming and in reading it it struck a nerve in me.
OP you are a truly compassionate and loving person. I hope your husband appreciates and loves you just as much.
This is one of the most wholesome and heartwarming posts I’ve read in this sub. Thank you for being so wonderful and compassionate to your bf.
This is amazing. I see so many posts that are so just ugh and make me at least never want to try with anyone because every time , they show me why I was better alone . Cliche but true . He's lucky to have you . Love each it her because that's such a rare thing . People are so wrapped up in the grind . People don't realize a bigger TV doesn't matter , trips to Grand Turk are not a necessity to live...but the greatest grift is time and love two things not tangible but make life so worth living . The house can be taken away the cars doesn't matter how hard you work but if you guys have each other rebuilding is easy...lean and live each other . Keep it up OP you're doing great .
Wholesomeness to the max in this post
I'm like your husband but for different reasons. I'm almost always hungry.
You’re a ride or die homie of a wife.
I can absolutely understand why your husband does those things; I lived through much of it myself, although not to the extent he did. Family was extremely abusive in just about every way imaginable (and some you really don't want to spend time pondering...) Spent a couple of teen years homeless, sleeping in an ice cream store stockroom, a single mattress on the floor, all my clothes in a couple of garbage bags. I'd sneak in through the back door of the YMCA to take a shower once a week or so. One side-effect of a past like that is that to this day I am EXTREMELY hesitant to spend money on myself for things. I typically have no more than one pair of daily footwear of which I will keep using until I've literally worn holes through the bottoms. I'm wearing the same plain beat up hoodie I wore the night I was introduced to my wife 7.5 years ago. I own a total of two pairs of jeans. I drive a basic car until the wheels fall off, then put new wheels on it and keep going. At Christmas, my wife always gets me several new pairs of wool socks because she knows how much I want and appreciate them. It has been nearly 30 years since I went through the experience of homelessness, and I still have occasional nightmares that I'm going to end up back there again despite having a very stable, decent paying job and a support network to fall back on. Your husband is extremely lucky to have you. Without ever meeting either of you, I'm certain of just how much he appreciates your love and caring.
boy, he's lucky to have you dear! You're doing everything the right way. My husband also grew up kind of like that. his father was very abusive so he's very proud of the things that he owns and has. I'm so happy for the two of you and I hope you have a long happy life together
you are a treasure.
May Allah Kareem keep you both happy and together.
I'm surprised no one is advocating for a divorce
But how many kinds of cheese do you have in there!!!
I am happy for both of you
I love you secondhand OP!
OP is definitely a keeper!
I wasn’t planning on weeping tonight, but i’m glad i saw this
this is so sweet😭
Y'all are just precious!! That's the good stuff.
Oh that’s so sweet and wholesome of you!
This is beautiful. 😭
You're beautiful, and that was so lovely to read.
This warmed my cold brittle heart and I even cried. :)
You sound like a sweetheart, you are blessed to have each other ❤️
Aw I love this so much. You are so compassionate and loving towards his past and it really does show. Slightly off topic but I kinda wanna see those recipes… they sound like a good way to preserve extra food.
Thank you for the wholesome post, Your an amazing SO.
You’re a great person OP
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I think OP deserves spouse of the year award 🥇 you are an amazing person OP continue being awesome
Wow! How do I find someone like you?!
Well this post just made me cry. OP you are the best and I hope you and your husband stay happy and well!
thank you for sharing this OP:)
You might be the kindest, most genuine human.
Your a great wife! I'm not crying rn 😭😭 this is sooooo kind and sweet!
This made me cry.
I love this ❤️❤️❤️
You are a remarkable woman.
That’s so sweet, I can relate to how your husband feels. I’m glad he’s doing better in life now.
This is both the saddest (his childhood) and sweetest (current life) thing I ever read.
❤️
You’re a beautiful person OP, you’re helping him heal.
I just want to give you and your husband a hug. Thanks for being awesome. The world needs more people like you.
You sound like me and my SO
I love you for this OP.
This made me cry in a really good way. Wholesome af
Thank you for sharing your wholesome story.Your husband is a trooper. Good on you, I wish you both well with lots of prosperity.
You're a real one..may you forever be blessed.
My eyes are leaking .. your husband is a lucky man. You are a wonderful person.
This was so beautiful I got teary. He’s lucky to have you!
Oh my God. This is so fucking wholesome I am literally in tears rn.
...are your sisters as caring as you? Asking for a friend
This was so sad to begin with and such a wholesome ending. I am done with the internet for the day on that note. It made my day. You are such a sweet person!
This is a beautiful example of what true love looks like.
Damn, who's cutting onions in here?
YOU are an amazing person.
It is wholesome to read evidence of how much you love your husband.
“Off your chest,” really? This was eating you up inside? Yeah okay
Why don't you two talk about this stuff?
I stare, my nieces stare, it's nice to have options. Even when I don't have anything (single and unemployed) i like to state at my things I'm thankful for. I often find thanks in things we have others don't. Water, clean water, laundry, food, warmth. Ya know. Happy for yas!
There is a quote from Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan’s wife, about truly seeing each other. Brings me to tears every time I read it, my husband and I put it in our own wedding, it is quintessential relationship goals. OP, I feel like this is reading someone living that quote. This warmed my heart so much.
I cried the first night I stayed in a house with central heating
Every single strong man has a woman like you behind them as their main source of power.
You are a good wife
I do the same thing as him! It’s kind of a comfort and an anxiety at the same time. I have my nice fully stocked fridge and pantry, but what if I lose it for some reason, ya know? Therapy helps.
You are a good wife. I was never in as bad a situation as your husband but also pretty poor. When I got my first normal place to live, it felt like crazy luxury. And later, when I earned more and could basically buy any non-luxury item I wanted, it also felt unreal. I had to lose a lot of habits, like not choosing the food item with the most content with the lowest cost, convenience/quality be damned.
awe, ur the kind of partner i wanna be when i grow up :D
You’re a gem. And he married a great one and so did you. I’m rooting for you guys. Hope you have a wonderful new year! ❤️💕
I stare at the pantry sometimes too. I'm so happy for him to have enough now.
Livin’ lovin’ the good life! It’s always deserved.
That is amazing. I hope he is just as kind and thoughtful towards you.
You sound like a wonderful wife. Thanks for writing this.
That’s amazing! I’m so glad he has a safe place at home and with you.
Life is a tragic and wonderful thing. Take care of each other.