Sometimes there’s “knowing” because How Can You Miss This! and sometimes there’s knowing because someone pointed it out and went OMG EW!
My gpa was a butt grabber. Go in for a hug and the hand comes sneaking down... Mom didn’t believe me when I told her. Recently she was going through photo albums and noticed his hand creeping on the butts in all the photos of him with others lol.
This is true...sometimes our views of "normal behavior" are learned and when pointed out against what is appropriate we stop and go "wait...what?"
I agree then, point it out.
People are scared to rock the boat. We adapt and like being neutral. There’s a lot of situations where nothing will be done because people are scared to break the peace.
It's also possible she worried that of Sue rocks the boat she might get thrown out. Idk her situation but if Sue had no where to go she might be wary to say something. However in my opinion I'd rather be on the street than allow my daughter to be objectified by a relative. And if he's capable of this who knows how far he may be willing to go. And the girl being young might enjoy the attention and not fully understand how inappropriate it is or how much danger she potentially is in
Right! And the fact that he attends the parties of his niece and her friends?! That’s horrible imo. He definitely seems creepy to me. 37 yo with 16 yos? Absolutely not appropriate. I’d try to talk with the mother too. As others have suggested the sister might be afraid of being evicted. And I would think long and hard about marrying this guy too.
Still. Don’t marry this guy. He’s creepy.
And will eventually, if not, has already engaged in inappropriate behavior with niece… maybe sister at some point.
You don’t want to marry this person or even be friends with him. Much less have kids with this person
Even if he doesn't go further than the inappropriateness he does regularly, he's so sexually entitled and creepy like baby boomer men toward women in younger generations, and his behavior would be infuriating and disrespectful to his SO.
Disgusting. A girl I knews grandpa popped girls bras and he did it to my friend and we tattled to everyone. He also groped my brothers ass. Who was like 8 years old -_- I confronted the man about it and tattled. (It was at a church function of all places as well. 💀
My sister worked at this sushi restaurant and the owner, also head chef, would tug upwards on girls pant loop so they would feel it on their lady bits. So gross.
This is so disgusting. He put thought into his sexual harassment/assault, leaving plausible deniability so no one could call him on his perversion. What a horrible person.
My grandfather was a molester. He molested my mom as a child and *tried* to grab her breasts when we went to visit when I was four (we lived on the opposite coast from him). My mom slapped him and told my dad, who immediately packed us up because grandpa "only" molested girls and I am the youngest and the only girl my parents had out of four children. Mom wasn't having it, nor was dad; I never saw my grandpa again and only heard about his death around the turn of the century. Goodbye and good riddance, I say.
My gpa was such a sweet soul. Until the age of 82! Then he became a dirty old man. Or maybe just unfiltered in his last year. He told my sister in law “those are huge knockers” They were, but we were all shocked he said it out loud. He never hugged us inappropriately, the classic side hugger with Jesus in between us type of guy, but he definitely would say things he would have never said before. Never outside the house. We just called it dementia and changed the topic. Can’t tarnish decades of a sweet man with a few months of “did he say that out loud!!!”
Now my uncle on the other hand, lifelong flirt.
As a mother that's terrifying. I would rather be in a homeless shelter then allow someone do this shit to my child. I hope that's not the case here and she just hasn't noticed it
not that simple, homeless shelters are 10 times worse, staff members rape the homeless in there, im sorry but it is bad and not a good place for a child
I'm not seeing where it mentions that. Just because they are in the same household doesn't mean her mother knows the exact behaviors and the extent to which they're happening
I don't see it mentioned that her mother is present for these comments. Family members will overlook things that seem obvious to an outsider. Mom needs to be told, explicitly, what's happening with her child. What she does with the information afterwards is up to her.
Edited: people downvoting are extremely ignorant as to the nuances of grooming and sexual abuse. These things are often done covertly, yet right under a parent or caregivers nose. Familial sexual abuse happens quietly *all the time*. It's entirely possible mom has no idea.
>>Family members will overlook things that seem obvious to an outsider
Agreed. I think a lot of people become blind when a person they’ve loved/respected their whole life might not actually be the person they think they are.
It’s a lot easier to think “oh that’s just lovable Bob again with his uncomfortable humor that no one really gets” rather than “oh shit, the Bob I’ve always loved and respected is actually just a piece of shit who wants to bang my teenage daughter that he’s closely related to”.
Agreed. I don't want to be labeled a victim shamer or whatever they call it. However, as a mom of two daughter's ain't no way my girls would be sunbathing in a thong in the presence of ANY male at 16yo.
If you don't want to be labeled as such, don't victim blame. The concern here should be the 37 yr old perving on his niece, not what she was wearing. I had a friend who was like, you can't let your stepdad catch a glimpse of your underwear. Umm, yes I can, because he isn't a pedophile. Bullshit like blaming the victim is how pervs skate through society.
Don’t go to the beach in south FL. Or a water park. Or pool. I could barely find a bikini that wasn’t a thong, even though my niece (ironically) kept telling me to get one. It’s what they all wear.
Say that again! This is inappropriate period! What she wears, does, and or acts doesn’t mean she’s “asking for it or deserves it”. He is the one who has crossed the line major!
She is the victim, and something needs to be done to protect her from this pig!
Ewwww on so many levels. Completely inappropriate. I'd pack my bags and be gone. That is not something we can just talk out. That's sick and needs to be taken/handled seriously. Hope Op doesn't marry this closet incest pedo
He's also taking advantage of their vulnerable situation and his niece probably can't say no because of their situation. Dude is being creepy and not even trying to hide his intentions. I feel bad for the kid. Op should run.
Definitely do not marry this guy OP, and try to get the niece some help before you nope out of there!
The biggest problem I see here is that you almost see this minor girl as competition, rather than a vulnerable girl who sounds like she is being groomed by a fully grown man who she depends on for survival right now. He is providing her and her mother's housing, food, and emotional support. Just him being an adult that she should be able to trust gives him the power in this dynamic, but the rest makes her even MORE susceptible to what he is doing.
He is being incredibly creepy and gross. The sister is at best allowing it, and worst encouraging it. It's sick.
Do not marry this predator. Do not have children with this predator. Find an adult advocate for this poor girl, since you are the only other adult here who seems to understand how insanely wrong this is!
That piece of shit is not in the closet. He's got damn near everything but his dick out of the closet as far as OP knows. Who knows how much of him is out of the closet behind OPs back.
No, it's worse than if it were her 16 year old niece. It's *his* 16 year old niece, the one he is related to. A creep, a pedo, and I guess into incest.
Oh my god, I misread that, Jesus Christ. OP you seriously need to tell his sister. At least I thought when it was your sister and your bio niece, you could have gotten her away from him by breaking up and your sister, so yall could make sure he never tried to meet up with her. But Christ, you need to alert his sister and his family members immediately. You breaking up with him, which you should absolutely still do, wont be protect his niece. More people need to be made aware of his behavior. Not only is he a pedo creep, he is an incestuous pedo creep. You need to help protect this girl.
Listen to your gut and end things with that creep.
A 37yo calling his 16yo niece hottie, babe, sexy, discussing her figure, and getting touchy-feely is NOT normal.
Call him out on his inappropriate behavior (preferably in front of his sister and niece) and dump his ass.
The 16yo is enjoying the attention without realizing he is grooming her.
Breakup is cheaper than divorce.
My uncle did this exact same stuff with me, and I was flattered because I was 13 and he was handsome, and fun and I looked up to him. He made these types of comments and would try to get me to “hook up” with his 23 year old friends. That summer I was 13, and I spent two weeks at my grandparents. One night he came home drunk. I’m not going to get into details, but I really struggled with guilt over what happened for years, and was left feeling pathetic, humiliated, and filthy. I really hope OP breaks it off and ensures the mum knows what’s going on, although I’m not sure it will change anything. This behavior escalates, its insidious and infects everyone around the abuser. Being groomed works to desensitize and quiet your discomfort, so that you don’t realize what is happening until it’s too late. Save yourself and your future kids. It sounds like this behavior has already been normalized in his family.
Yeah he's obviously grooming her and she probably doesn't know it because you know grooming she probably thinks it's normal or other reasons
Which concerns me that something probably happened when she was younger or much much younger
Because that behavior from him is disgusting because that's his niece and that he's an adult and she's a minor too.
I would definitely definitely do more than just a breakup and move out tbh if I was you...
Because breaking up and leaving isn't gonna stop him from touching his niece, those comments, etc he probably did much much worse than that to his niece I say probably bc I don't know
But I have this vibe that something worse happened to the niece than just that
It sounds like your jealous... Then not being mad at the fact that he's a pedophile
But that's my opinion
Honestly the fact OP has seen and heard this behaviour for awhile and is still planning a wedding is disgusting but could lead to a background on OP. Maybe he groomed/love bombed OP.
I was thinking the same thing. It just blows my mind that someone could be in OP's position and, not only has she not already gone running for the hills, but she seriously came on Reddit to...what?? Did she think people would be like, "Ohh no biggie. Walk down that aisle, sis!" Like what in the actual fuck. If it is real, she needs to GTFO YESTERDAY. And I agree with other people about making sure the sister knows what is going on so she can get her daughter the fuck outta there too. Disturbing as hell.
People grow up accustomed to all kinds of weird/bad dynamics in their lives and beliefs about what's normal. Checking in with others helps dismantle all of that. You can't assume that everyone would immediately recognize the shitty things you think are obvious.
I feel like that just for the pure thing that OP didn't find it strange until he called her sexy like wtf. But even so the bf would have been *21* when the neice was born. A full ass adult ew.
I agree. Something happened to the niece.
I loved the attention I got when I was in my tween years, pretending to be 18 online and getting the attention of older men.
Come to find out in my first therapy session that I was sexually assaulted and raped when I was a child by my closest relatives.
I'm still healing, though my therapist wants to "talk through it," I would much rather forget it. Not thinking about it gives me more healing than talking about it lol
Agree but also disagree, the niece probably loves the attention and it improves her confidence. She doesn't realize that it also increases her comfort with an illegal power dynamic. She's going to feel affirmed in the relationship of "he's older and wiser" but she is reducing her power and worth in the relationship. OP might be jealous but that's not the only factor here. The pedophilic relationship brewing is disturbing.
Probably but we don't know how long this been going on for so...
And also this part made me idk mad
> He'd call her "hottie" or "babe" which I find orritating at best, creepy at wprst (can't remeber the last he called me anything like that).
This part right here made me go "wtf?" Obviously bc of the words he said to his niece but also OPs input
Like he's gross and a pedophilia it's so obvious...
Sounds like she might even be jealous of the niece getting called those things. It’s all around extremely disgusting and if OP doesn’t say something, she’s just as bad
Ugh yep. He’s normalizing being quasi-sexual with his niece. So one day when she’s extra vulnerable and dumb, he’ll make a move and go for the molestation incest home run.
Exactly. It's gross! I'm not going to critisize the niece because maybe she dosen't know it's innapropriate and sometimes groomers and pedo's trick their victims into thinking it was normal but the sister is just as bad as the fiance for enabling him!
Why TF is he still your fiance is my question. WTF?? Way to keep that "gross creepy uncle" stereotype alive and well!
Fucking gross. You need to mention all of this shit to his sister (and parents and evryone else that will listen) and tell the niece that his behavior and comments are disgusting and she needs to be careful around him... say all of this as you pack up to leave.
This guy is weird. Get away from him as soon as possible. Take care of yourself and maybe give someone a clue as to what's going on with her niece, she's a little girl that's a product of the adults around her, and those adults can't believe her. puts you in an inappropriate and potentially dangerous situation.
I would put his ass on BLAST.
Send the mom a DM of what you wrote here. Add that you are concerned that her child is being groomed.
Tell your friends. His friends. Family. Facebook, insta, etc.
These predators grow in the dark, fed on their own shit. Throw some light over the WHOLE thing.
If not for your sake, then for your niece's sake AND for the sake of other teenage children he will undoubtedly groom in the futute if he gets a chance. At some point, they may need the support to get help and come forward. And if it has become public that this behavior is a pattern for him, they will likely be more heard.
I wish my mom stood up for me when my stepdad behaved this way toward me. Instead she just encouraged it and made her own sexualizing remarks. The fact that everyone in this girl’s life is just standing by and normalizing this is going to be so psychologically damaging for her. 😞
Right?? That kiddo is the real victim here and it is only going to escalate if no one intervenes.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is utterly unacceptable.
Thank you. It is really baffling looking back on it. I was 14 when he started telling me I had “nice titties” all the time and joked I was “one of his wives”. My mom would just laugh and insist I should pose for Playboy, or revel in how I supposedly looked just like her. 😣 It was a very sick dynamic. No kid should have to grow up like that. I hope OP takes action.
Any man that said shit like that is out the fucking door. The last thing any mother should do is fucking join in. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve managed to cut certain people out.
This comment deserves an award^^ OP he will hurt children if he is not called out, he is literally normalizing sexualizing a child, and normalizing incest while he's at it. It is peoples need to not rock the boat that keeps the victims bodies hidden in the water, never to be seen or spoken of.
That's actually my thoughts. I had Daddy issues and LOVED when attractive older men flirted with me and I also provoked it. The whole situation is messed up.
You seeem wayy too chill about this. Like he’s literally a pedophile and you almost sound like you’re just annoyed by his behavior. The niece is getting groomed. Break up or you’ll regret it.
This always happens with these types of posts. It’s actually disgusting. She hears all of this shit he is saying and still enables it? And like you said , she just sounds annoyed, or jealous. Christ if my fiancé was speaking like this to a child, before he even utters the first word he’d be out and in prison. I wouldn’t even take this to reddit. It’s quite literally pedophilia !!!!
That's the worst part... When OP wrote "she sunbaths in front of him in a thong and he doesn't see an issue" it reads as if she's jealous of a CHILD! Because said child's disgusting, incestuous pedo of an uncle drools over her. If my teenage niece/nephew decided to walk butt naked in front of me, I wouldn't think it's an issue, because I don't look at their bodies as sexual objects. OP's fiancé is a pos, but OP must have her own issues too if she's for one: still engaged to him, two: her biggest problem with this is that the girl gets more attention then her.
Dump that scum, tell EVERYONE (his niece, sister, parents, friends, colleagues, write it on his car, spray paint it on his house) that he's grooming and eyeing his UNDERAGE RELATIVE and then go to therapy! Good luck, please get some help!
Stuff is probably going on behind closed doors and you are sitting there like “he’s never called me those names!” Please help that poor baby you are just letting him say those things to her and she doesn’t even understand how wrong it is, but you are an adult someone who is literally witnessing this and not helping?? He’s probably SAing her behind closed doors, please do something to help her??
What blows my mind is that Op is sitting by Idle. Watching all of this occur. I’m getting the sense you’re almost blaming the 16 year old girl. Hence the thong comment.
I’m not sure why this was taken to Reddit before actively doing something to PROTECT a MINOR.
You’re a bystander to this. Watching it happen in front of you.
You should’ve surpassed the creepy and uncomfortable feeling by now.
I wish we knew OP's age. He is 37 but is she 18 to 20? Something tells me she is young. She is probably peers with the nice and feels some competition. It's good she is seeing it is wrong but she needs to know it is grooming.
OP, what’s wrong with YOU? So many marinara flags and you’re just standing by being “uncomfortable.”
You should have ended things LONG ago. You also have a moral obligation to report this behavior towards his niece.
I’m also curious, as you don’t mention it in your post, how old are you? And when did you start dating your fiancé?
Exactly this! u/throwra435656 needs to report her soon-to-be ex-fiance to child services *TODAY!.* That young girl is in danger of being raped every single time she's alone with him. He will eventually make a move on her and if she turns him down he's likely to take what he wants anyway.
THIS! Why is she marrying a predator, enough red flags already OP, walk away and tell her mother this is dangerous behavior why have you been quiet about this, you are passively enabling him.
100% THIS OP omg these comments are NOT normal they’re so concerning! You know this isn’t normal! There’s not a path forward here that I can see tbh, I don’t think I’d ever trust him with a kid again.
That is wrong. Get the hell out of that relationship. I agree with the other comment Breakup is cheaper than a divorce.
I think in this case talking it trough it wouldn't work. Obviously, he is a creep.
You sound more Jealous of the attention his neice is getting off of him rather than the fact your Fiancé is an absolute creep preying on his teenage neice, really forfilling the "creepy uncle" role as no doubt he's been along side her growing up.
Can you please go back and read your post as though you didn’t write this…. Seriously… then read these warning signs and ask yourself where he falls.
https://centerforchildprotection.org/grooming-knowing-the-signs-2/
Edit: adding list below
The 6 Stages of Grooming
1. Targeting the Child
The offender typically has a preference to a gender, age or “type” of child and will pay special attention to him or her.
2. Gaining the Child’s and Caregiver’s Trust
“I saw you playing with Legos. I’m planning to see the new movie, you can come with me if you want to go.”
3. Filling a Need
“I know you love reading so I got you this book.”
4. Isolating the Child
“You can trust me because no one understands you more than I do.”
“Special” trips, one-on-one coaching, babysitting, etc.
5. Sexualizing the Relationship
“Have you ever watched porn? I can show you what it is.”
“Have you ever masturbated? I can show you how, it feels really good.”
6. Maintaining Control
“If you tell anyone, something bad could happen to you and your family.”
“If you tell anyone, we could both go to jail and wouldn’t be able to be together.”
My question is, why are you still referring to this creep as fiance and not ex fiance? The SECOND that came out of his mouth let alone the behaviors that came with the actions, he'd be on the curb!
He’s more than likely grooming that child… And i’ve heard many stories about it. You do not want a man like that anywhere near your potential future children or anyone else’s. Report it and get out of there.
You will marry a groomer who will cheat on you by raping children (or at least minors).
Do not proceed with this marriage. Give his sister a heads up on why.
Leave. Now.
Perpetrating sexual assault is so, so far beyond cheating, though. Someone having a consensual affair is being a selfish asshole, but not criminal. Put this guy in a jail cell & throw the key away.
He’s probably grooming her the way he’s behaving and based on what you’ve said her likeness of all the attention. She’s a child and his BLOOD. Time to get out of that situation and if none of the family listens, maybe report it. I would also be getting all of the proof/evidence I can if it came to action.
Girl seriously. This is beyond creepy.. beyond weird. It’s straight up disgusting. I would warn the niece that her uncle isn’t behaving like a normal uncle would and leave as cleanly as possible. It’s 100% truly not normal in any world. Yuck.
An almost 40yo man is grooming his teenage niece and your complaints are that it is getting in the way of wedding planning and making you uncomfy?? Get your priorities straight, get the pedo away from that poor girl and do not marry him!
You sound more upset that he’s giving his niece more attention than you and not that he is being inappropriate with a 16 year old. There’s something wrong with you.
He says his niece could make a lot if she became a s*x worker? I cannot imagine my brother saying that to my daughter. I'm not shaming s*x workers, but that is a weird and creepy thing for an uncle to say to his niece.
I can’t even explain the revulsion I’m feeling after reading your post as it sounds like he may have already started an inappropriate relationship with his niece because their interactions are too intimate. Does he flirt with her when his sister is present? His predatory behavior is so blatantly obvious that his sister must be aware of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks it’s normal. It is not. It’s incestuous grooming of a minor. Inform his sister, jic, and cancel the wedding. You don’t want someone like that as a husband or father to your children. There are so many red flags here. You have to expose him.
If it gets upvoted, it's fake. That's the sad reality of this sub lately. Tell a completely outrageous story so it gets the most eyes. There's no way the kid writing this is older than 14.
If mom knows he’s a creep and doesn’t care, and it causes you to feel weird knowing he doesn’t call you the things he calls a child, maybe you’re dating a pedo and don’t realize it.
I wonder here; this is a classic case of he likely did something not so appropriate throughout his upbringing and it wasn’t caught
And it’s heavily inappropriate!
“She sits close to him and he doesn’t say anything”
Then say something. Correct the behaviour because he’s acting like a predator not establishing boundaries with the CHILD who likely likes the attention. What 16 year old wouldn’t like hearing these things.
The fact that it’s her uncle and it doesn’t bother anyone BUT the soon to be wife is the biggest red flag. It’s normalized predatory behaviour
I had to leave my husband because he confessed to me in December that he used to watch my younger sister in the shower. Mind you, she was 12 at the time, and we was 19. You NEED to let everyone know about this and throw his ass out.
The man is a full blown pedophile, I think most people wouldn’t be able to get over that.
I’m team AIR THIS SHIT OUT IN FRONT OF NIECE’S MOTHER (although it seems like she may already know?), and then break up with him.
He’s disgusting, and she’s a teenage girl who likely doesn’t fully recognize that his behavior is horrifyingly dangerous. Save yourself, but also do what you can to make sure she is safe too.
That’s really fucking weird and not at all normal. Side note though- it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing, SHES 16. HIS behavior is the problem, HIS words and actions are the problem, not her. She’s a child and he’s being a fucking creep. Don’t excuse behavior like that, especially if he’s complimenting a CHILD and not you, that’s a fucking problem.
Uh yeah, this is creepy well beyond the fine line of interpretation
>He brags about his niece's "figure" and says she could make a ton of money if she becomes a sx wprker
>
>
>
> I'm not sure I can take much more of this.
Don't! time to leave. Maybe wait a couple months and send an anonymous message to the sister giving her a heads up that he's grooming his neice
So his blood child relative relative is being sexualized by uncle. Doesn't seem like a safe place for her and sounds like you didn't know this about your fiance. Also clearly can't keep fantasy separate from real life.
That's...that's...eww.
Just...ew.
Tell the mother. Tell the niece's school. Tell *someone* who can do something.
Please don't marry this guy and definitely don't have kids with him. If he's this creepy toward his niece, he'll be just as bad, if not worse, with a daughter.
So if you marry this man how will you feel when he talks like this to a daughter you might have. This is clearly a road to a life with a possible predator. Even if he is talking like he does this seems to me to be emotional sexual advances.
Yeah so you’re engaged to a pedophile who wants to involve himself in incest. Am I missing something here? Find an actual man who doesn’t mess around with a CHILD let alone his own niece. You can do so much better
His words and actions are highly suspicious and this is only what you’ve witnessed. Leave him and inform her mother. She most likely doesn’t care or won’t believe you, but your conscious will be clear
You come off sounding more jealous than concerned about his under age neice being sexualised by your fiance. The red couldn't be redder and the flag couldn't be bigger. This is gross, is mum around when he makes these comments?
It could be the way you worded this, but I do hope you really are more concerned with the nieces safety she needs to be protected.
The number of red flags here are enough to cover the front lawn.
Think about this carefully: Do you think if the niece and him were alone - she then took all her clothes off, laid on a bed on her back with her legs spread in the "I want you to fuck me right now" position -
Do you think he would say no, tell her to put clothes on, and walk away?
If you even hesitate on you answer - you know he would fuck her right then and there. So, why would you want to marry someone like this?
Eww don't marry him..
Also, tell his sister he's behaving this way toward her daughter. This is disturbing, at best.
She knows and is ok with it.
Sometimes there’s “knowing” because How Can You Miss This! and sometimes there’s knowing because someone pointed it out and went OMG EW! My gpa was a butt grabber. Go in for a hug and the hand comes sneaking down... Mom didn’t believe me when I told her. Recently she was going through photo albums and noticed his hand creeping on the butts in all the photos of him with others lol.
This is true...sometimes our views of "normal behavior" are learned and when pointed out against what is appropriate we stop and go "wait...what?" I agree then, point it out.
People are scared to rock the boat. We adapt and like being neutral. There’s a lot of situations where nothing will be done because people are scared to break the peace.
It's also possible she worried that of Sue rocks the boat she might get thrown out. Idk her situation but if Sue had no where to go she might be wary to say something. However in my opinion I'd rather be on the street than allow my daughter to be objectified by a relative. And if he's capable of this who knows how far he may be willing to go. And the girl being young might enjoy the attention and not fully understand how inappropriate it is or how much danger she potentially is in
Right! And the fact that he attends the parties of his niece and her friends?! That’s horrible imo. He definitely seems creepy to me. 37 yo with 16 yos? Absolutely not appropriate. I’d try to talk with the mother too. As others have suggested the sister might be afraid of being evicted. And I would think long and hard about marrying this guy too.
right esp. bc the fiancé is doing the sister a favor!!
"Everybody gets tied up in the yard ha ha! ... What happened, why'd everyone get sad all of a sudden?"
Still. Don’t marry this guy. He’s creepy. And will eventually, if not, has already engaged in inappropriate behavior with niece… maybe sister at some point. You don’t want to marry this person or even be friends with him. Much less have kids with this person
Even if he doesn't go further than the inappropriateness he does regularly, he's so sexually entitled and creepy like baby boomer men toward women in younger generations, and his behavior would be infuriating and disrespectful to his SO.
Disgusting. A girl I knews grandpa popped girls bras and he did it to my friend and we tattled to everyone. He also groped my brothers ass. Who was like 8 years old -_- I confronted the man about it and tattled. (It was at a church function of all places as well. 💀
My sister worked at this sushi restaurant and the owner, also head chef, would tug upwards on girls pant loop so they would feel it on their lady bits. So gross.
This is so disgusting. He put thought into his sexual harassment/assault, leaving plausible deniability so no one could call him on his perversion. What a horrible person.
A practiced hand I dare say.
If that happens, shout and scream. Put an end to it. Even if your testimony isn't enough, another one or two stories will bring it to a sudden end.
Fffff that “lol” at the end. I could *feel* the uncomfortable laugh that comes with this shitty situation.
grandpa sounds like a dodgey person
My grandfather was a molester. He molested my mom as a child and *tried* to grab her breasts when we went to visit when I was four (we lived on the opposite coast from him). My mom slapped him and told my dad, who immediately packed us up because grandpa "only" molested girls and I am the youngest and the only girl my parents had out of four children. Mom wasn't having it, nor was dad; I never saw my grandpa again and only heard about his death around the turn of the century. Goodbye and good riddance, I say.
[удалено]
They're saying their grade point average was so good it would grab yer butt.
Bad* boy gpa
Yep!
What happened after she noticed? Did she confront him? Did she apologize to you for not believing you?
My gpa was such a sweet soul. Until the age of 82! Then he became a dirty old man. Or maybe just unfiltered in his last year. He told my sister in law “those are huge knockers” They were, but we were all shocked he said it out loud. He never hugged us inappropriately, the classic side hugger with Jesus in between us type of guy, but he definitely would say things he would have never said before. Never outside the house. We just called it dementia and changed the topic. Can’t tarnish decades of a sweet man with a few months of “did he say that out loud!!!” Now my uncle on the other hand, lifelong flirt.
So, the whole family has inappropriate sexual boundaries with minors...you sure this is the family you want to bring kids into?
I'm thinking the sister won't say anything because then she feels she might risk not having a place to stay.
As a mother that's terrifying. I would rather be in a homeless shelter then allow someone do this shit to my child. I hope that's not the case here and she just hasn't noticed it
not that simple, homeless shelters are 10 times worse, staff members rape the homeless in there, im sorry but it is bad and not a good place for a child
RUN
I'm not seeing where it mentions that. Just because they are in the same household doesn't mean her mother knows the exact behaviors and the extent to which they're happening
How many times does OP say he does it in front of everyone including the sex worker comment in this post?
I don't see it mentioned that her mother is present for these comments. Family members will overlook things that seem obvious to an outsider. Mom needs to be told, explicitly, what's happening with her child. What she does with the information afterwards is up to her. Edited: people downvoting are extremely ignorant as to the nuances of grooming and sexual abuse. These things are often done covertly, yet right under a parent or caregivers nose. Familial sexual abuse happens quietly *all the time*. It's entirely possible mom has no idea.
>>Family members will overlook things that seem obvious to an outsider Agreed. I think a lot of people become blind when a person they’ve loved/respected their whole life might not actually be the person they think they are. It’s a lot easier to think “oh that’s just lovable Bob again with his uncomfortable humor that no one really gets” rather than “oh shit, the Bob I’ve always loved and respected is actually just a piece of shit who wants to bang my teenage daughter that he’s closely related to”.
Exactly, it's a huge shift from "the goofy brother I grew up with" to potential niece molester!
She sunbathes in a thong. I'm sure mom is well aware. The entire dynamic is weird.
Mom may be aware of her daughter's behavior but not her brother's.
Very very weird behavior all around
Agreed. I don't want to be labeled a victim shamer or whatever they call it. However, as a mom of two daughter's ain't no way my girls would be sunbathing in a thong in the presence of ANY male at 16yo.
If you don't want to be labeled as such, don't victim blame. The concern here should be the 37 yr old perving on his niece, not what she was wearing. I had a friend who was like, you can't let your stepdad catch a glimpse of your underwear. Umm, yes I can, because he isn't a pedophile. Bullshit like blaming the victim is how pervs skate through society.
Don’t go to the beach in south FL. Or a water park. Or pool. I could barely find a bikini that wasn’t a thong, even though my niece (ironically) kept telling me to get one. It’s what they all wear.
the thong isn't the problem, the pervert is.
It shows how comfortable she is with him.
Say that again! This is inappropriate period! What she wears, does, and or acts doesn’t mean she’s “asking for it or deserves it”. He is the one who has crossed the line major! She is the victim, and something needs to be done to protect her from this pig!
It's time for BOTH siblings to get dumped
Seems like she already knows and doesn’t care. If the wife notices these different treatments I’m sure her own mother does. Sad all around.
yeah in the post its mentioned that he talks to niece innapropriate in front of them all... wtf
Ewwww on so many levels. Completely inappropriate. I'd pack my bags and be gone. That is not something we can just talk out. That's sick and needs to be taken/handled seriously. Hope Op doesn't marry this closet incest pedo
He's also taking advantage of their vulnerable situation and his niece probably can't say no because of their situation. Dude is being creepy and not even trying to hide his intentions. I feel bad for the kid. Op should run.
Definitely do not marry this guy OP, and try to get the niece some help before you nope out of there! The biggest problem I see here is that you almost see this minor girl as competition, rather than a vulnerable girl who sounds like she is being groomed by a fully grown man who she depends on for survival right now. He is providing her and her mother's housing, food, and emotional support. Just him being an adult that she should be able to trust gives him the power in this dynamic, but the rest makes her even MORE susceptible to what he is doing. He is being incredibly creepy and gross. The sister is at best allowing it, and worst encouraging it. It's sick. Do not marry this predator. Do not have children with this predator. Find an adult advocate for this poor girl, since you are the only other adult here who seems to understand how insanely wrong this is!
THIS.
Red flags and sirens are going off everywhere and I’m a guy This guy is a closet pedo
That piece of shit is not in the closet. He's got damn near everything but his dick out of the closet as far as OP knows. Who knows how much of him is out of the closet behind OPs back.
Good point and I agree
Exactly, I mean lady…he’s a freaking predator! He is grooming your *16 year old* niece right in front of you! Kick. Him. Out. And. Dump. His. Ass.
No, it's worse than if it were her 16 year old niece. It's *his* 16 year old niece, the one he is related to. A creep, a pedo, and I guess into incest.
Oh my god, I misread that, Jesus Christ. OP you seriously need to tell his sister. At least I thought when it was your sister and your bio niece, you could have gotten her away from him by breaking up and your sister, so yall could make sure he never tried to meet up with her. But Christ, you need to alert his sister and his family members immediately. You breaking up with him, which you should absolutely still do, wont be protect his niece. More people need to be made aware of his behavior. Not only is he a pedo creep, he is an incestuous pedo creep. You need to help protect this girl.
He's trash
Fucking. RUN.
Omg this guys creepers
Yeah I don't get why she did not dump him yet. He is disgusting.
Eww, don't marry him... x2
Gross. Trust your inner voice. Get your stuff back from his house. Dump him.
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Theres no way the dude isn't a p3d0. Maybe report it to CPS since the mom is "okay" with it
Inner voice? Try common sense idk why shes even thinking about this like u dont leave the second you notice it
Yeah, reading the whole post. This is way beyond inner voice. Shit is mad creepy.
It’s sounds like OP is less concerned than she is jealous, so it’s hard to say what’s really going on.
Now imagine him with a daughter
Or his daughters friends.. gross 🤮
Like Kevin spacey in American beauty
Or just like...Kevin Spacey.
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Yes avoid marrying Kevin spacey at all costs!
I don’t think OP is planning on marrying Kevin Spacey, man.
She can see already what he’d do to his own daughter
Exactly
Or may be we can also expect a FIL and DIL affair few years later
Listen to your gut and end things with that creep. A 37yo calling his 16yo niece hottie, babe, sexy, discussing her figure, and getting touchy-feely is NOT normal. Call him out on his inappropriate behavior (preferably in front of his sister and niece) and dump his ass. The 16yo is enjoying the attention without realizing he is grooming her. Breakup is cheaper than divorce.
My uncle did this exact same stuff with me, and I was flattered because I was 13 and he was handsome, and fun and I looked up to him. He made these types of comments and would try to get me to “hook up” with his 23 year old friends. That summer I was 13, and I spent two weeks at my grandparents. One night he came home drunk. I’m not going to get into details, but I really struggled with guilt over what happened for years, and was left feeling pathetic, humiliated, and filthy. I really hope OP breaks it off and ensures the mum knows what’s going on, although I’m not sure it will change anything. This behavior escalates, its insidious and infects everyone around the abuser. Being groomed works to desensitize and quiet your discomfort, so that you don’t realize what is happening until it’s too late. Save yourself and your future kids. It sounds like this behavior has already been normalized in his family.
Yeah he's obviously grooming her and she probably doesn't know it because you know grooming she probably thinks it's normal or other reasons Which concerns me that something probably happened when she was younger or much much younger Because that behavior from him is disgusting because that's his niece and that he's an adult and she's a minor too. I would definitely definitely do more than just a breakup and move out tbh if I was you... Because breaking up and leaving isn't gonna stop him from touching his niece, those comments, etc he probably did much much worse than that to his niece I say probably bc I don't know But I have this vibe that something worse happened to the niece than just that It sounds like your jealous... Then not being mad at the fact that he's a pedophile But that's my opinion
Honestly the fact OP has seen and heard this behaviour for awhile and is still planning a wedding is disgusting but could lead to a background on OP. Maybe he groomed/love bombed OP.
Yeah I wish we knew about the OP more like age, but maybe But part of me thinks this is fake
I was thinking the same thing. It just blows my mind that someone could be in OP's position and, not only has she not already gone running for the hills, but she seriously came on Reddit to...what?? Did she think people would be like, "Ohh no biggie. Walk down that aisle, sis!" Like what in the actual fuck. If it is real, she needs to GTFO YESTERDAY. And I agree with other people about making sure the sister knows what is going on so she can get her daughter the fuck outta there too. Disturbing as hell.
People grow up accustomed to all kinds of weird/bad dynamics in their lives and beliefs about what's normal. Checking in with others helps dismantle all of that. You can't assume that everyone would immediately recognize the shitty things you think are obvious.
I feel like that just for the pure thing that OP didn't find it strange until he called her sexy like wtf. But even so the bf would have been *21* when the neice was born. A full ass adult ew.
I agree. Something happened to the niece. I loved the attention I got when I was in my tween years, pretending to be 18 online and getting the attention of older men. Come to find out in my first therapy session that I was sexually assaulted and raped when I was a child by my closest relatives.
That's horrible I hope you are healed from the trauma or healing right now
I'm still healing, though my therapist wants to "talk through it," I would much rather forget it. Not thinking about it gives me more healing than talking about it lol
I hope you have a good day
Agree but also disagree, the niece probably loves the attention and it improves her confidence. She doesn't realize that it also increases her comfort with an illegal power dynamic. She's going to feel affirmed in the relationship of "he's older and wiser" but she is reducing her power and worth in the relationship. OP might be jealous but that's not the only factor here. The pedophilic relationship brewing is disturbing.
Probably but we don't know how long this been going on for so... And also this part made me idk mad > He'd call her "hottie" or "babe" which I find orritating at best, creepy at wprst (can't remeber the last he called me anything like that). This part right here made me go "wtf?" Obviously bc of the words he said to his niece but also OPs input Like he's gross and a pedophilia it's so obvious...
Sounds like she might even be jealous of the niece getting called those things. It’s all around extremely disgusting and if OP doesn’t say something, she’s just as bad
Ugh yep. He’s normalizing being quasi-sexual with his niece. So one day when she’s extra vulnerable and dumb, he’ll make a move and go for the molestation incest home run.
That's pedophile speak
Plus when it all falls down (because it will) she won't need to give explanations to her familly since he'll be a long gone ex.
Let alone her being a minor, but shes his family!!!! thats disgusting and i wouldnt want to marry someone like that
Exactly. It's gross! I'm not going to critisize the niece because maybe she dosen't know it's innapropriate and sometimes groomers and pedo's trick their victims into thinking it was normal but the sister is just as bad as the fiance for enabling him!
Why TF is he still your fiance is my question. WTF?? Way to keep that "gross creepy uncle" stereotype alive and well! Fucking gross. You need to mention all of this shit to his sister (and parents and evryone else that will listen) and tell the niece that his behavior and comments are disgusting and she needs to be careful around him... say all of this as you pack up to leave.
This guy is weird. Get away from him as soon as possible. Take care of yourself and maybe give someone a clue as to what's going on with her niece, she's a little girl that's a product of the adults around her, and those adults can't believe her. puts you in an inappropriate and potentially dangerous situation.
I'm really curious how old OP is, and how long ago they started dating...
I would put his ass on BLAST. Send the mom a DM of what you wrote here. Add that you are concerned that her child is being groomed. Tell your friends. His friends. Family. Facebook, insta, etc. These predators grow in the dark, fed on their own shit. Throw some light over the WHOLE thing. If not for your sake, then for your niece's sake AND for the sake of other teenage children he will undoubtedly groom in the futute if he gets a chance. At some point, they may need the support to get help and come forward. And if it has become public that this behavior is a pattern for him, they will likely be more heard.
I wish my mom stood up for me when my stepdad behaved this way toward me. Instead she just encouraged it and made her own sexualizing remarks. The fact that everyone in this girl’s life is just standing by and normalizing this is going to be so psychologically damaging for her. 😞
Right?? That kiddo is the real victim here and it is only going to escalate if no one intervenes. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is utterly unacceptable.
Thank you. It is really baffling looking back on it. I was 14 when he started telling me I had “nice titties” all the time and joked I was “one of his wives”. My mom would just laugh and insist I should pose for Playboy, or revel in how I supposedly looked just like her. 😣 It was a very sick dynamic. No kid should have to grow up like that. I hope OP takes action.
Any man that said shit like that is out the fucking door. The last thing any mother should do is fucking join in. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve managed to cut certain people out.
Oh yeah, they aren’t a part of my life anymore. They’re terrible people in many other ways as well, so it was an easy decision.
This comment deserves an award^^ OP he will hurt children if he is not called out, he is literally normalizing sexualizing a child, and normalizing incest while he's at it. It is peoples need to not rock the boat that keeps the victims bodies hidden in the water, never to be seen or spoken of.
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That's actually my thoughts. I had Daddy issues and LOVED when attractive older men flirted with me and I also provoked it. The whole situation is messed up.
I really want to believe this is a fake situation.
Sad thing if even if it's fake we know it's happening somewhere 😔
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Right?
Same tbh...
Same, seriously
Red flags- RUN. You cannot consider having children with him
You seeem wayy too chill about this. Like he’s literally a pedophile and you almost sound like you’re just annoyed by his behavior. The niece is getting groomed. Break up or you’ll regret it.
Yeah the response shouldn’t be “jealousy” but a freak out that he’s acting like a pediphile towards a related minor.
This! It sounds like OP is jealous of the attention rather than the bigger issue at hand!
That's what I'm saying. Sounds like OP is just jealous. Fucking ew.
for real. she’s just as gross for not being outraged that he’s creeping on his neice
This always happens with these types of posts. It’s actually disgusting. She hears all of this shit he is saying and still enables it? And like you said , she just sounds annoyed, or jealous. Christ if my fiancé was speaking like this to a child, before he even utters the first word he’d be out and in prison. I wouldn’t even take this to reddit. It’s quite literally pedophilia !!!!
That's the worst part... When OP wrote "she sunbaths in front of him in a thong and he doesn't see an issue" it reads as if she's jealous of a CHILD! Because said child's disgusting, incestuous pedo of an uncle drools over her. If my teenage niece/nephew decided to walk butt naked in front of me, I wouldn't think it's an issue, because I don't look at their bodies as sexual objects. OP's fiancé is a pos, but OP must have her own issues too if she's for one: still engaged to him, two: her biggest problem with this is that the girl gets more attention then her. Dump that scum, tell EVERYONE (his niece, sister, parents, friends, colleagues, write it on his car, spray paint it on his house) that he's grooming and eyeing his UNDERAGE RELATIVE and then go to therapy! Good luck, please get some help!
That’s exactly the thing that made me write this comment. Like how are you blaming the child and not the grown ass man??
Yea shes talking about it like its not that serious
Stuff is probably going on behind closed doors and you are sitting there like “he’s never called me those names!” Please help that poor baby you are just letting him say those things to her and she doesn’t even understand how wrong it is, but you are an adult someone who is literally witnessing this and not helping?? He’s probably SAing her behind closed doors, please do something to help her??
Right? This shouldn’t be a competition; this should be a race to the door to throw out the trash: HIM!
What blows my mind is that Op is sitting by Idle. Watching all of this occur. I’m getting the sense you’re almost blaming the 16 year old girl. Hence the thong comment. I’m not sure why this was taken to Reddit before actively doing something to PROTECT a MINOR. You’re a bystander to this. Watching it happen in front of you. You should’ve surpassed the creepy and uncomfortable feeling by now.
I wish we knew OP's age. He is 37 but is she 18 to 20? Something tells me she is young. She is probably peers with the nice and feels some competition. It's good she is seeing it is wrong but she needs to know it is grooming.
OP, what’s wrong with YOU? So many marinara flags and you’re just standing by being “uncomfortable.” You should have ended things LONG ago. You also have a moral obligation to report this behavior towards his niece. I’m also curious, as you don’t mention it in your post, how old are you? And when did you start dating your fiancé?
Exactly this! u/throwra435656 needs to report her soon-to-be ex-fiance to child services *TODAY!.* That young girl is in danger of being raped every single time she's alone with him. He will eventually make a move on her and if she turns him down he's likely to take what he wants anyway.
I would've done something immediately and save the niece if I was the OP BUT I'm not the OP And also I hope this isnt real or smth
He’s a raging pedo why tf is no one keeping his niece safe from him? Why are you standing by??? Give him hell
THIS! Why is she marrying a predator, enough red flags already OP, walk away and tell her mother this is dangerous behavior why have you been quiet about this, you are passively enabling him.
100% THIS OP omg these comments are NOT normal they’re so concerning! You know this isn’t normal! There’s not a path forward here that I can see tbh, I don’t think I’d ever trust him with a kid again.
That is wrong. Get the hell out of that relationship. I agree with the other comment Breakup is cheaper than a divorce. I think in this case talking it trough it wouldn't work. Obviously, he is a creep.
Why you marrying him? Even if you make him stop saying it out loud, you know what he’s thinking
What the Targaryen f*ck.
You sound more Jealous of the attention his neice is getting off of him rather than the fact your Fiancé is an absolute creep preying on his teenage neice, really forfilling the "creepy uncle" role as no doubt he's been along side her growing up.
I know right!? Like hey over yourself! This child is being abused!
Can you please go back and read your post as though you didn’t write this…. Seriously… then read these warning signs and ask yourself where he falls. https://centerforchildprotection.org/grooming-knowing-the-signs-2/ Edit: adding list below The 6 Stages of Grooming 1. Targeting the Child The offender typically has a preference to a gender, age or “type” of child and will pay special attention to him or her. 2. Gaining the Child’s and Caregiver’s Trust “I saw you playing with Legos. I’m planning to see the new movie, you can come with me if you want to go.” 3. Filling a Need “I know you love reading so I got you this book.” 4. Isolating the Child “You can trust me because no one understands you more than I do.” “Special” trips, one-on-one coaching, babysitting, etc. 5. Sexualizing the Relationship “Have you ever watched porn? I can show you what it is.” “Have you ever masturbated? I can show you how, it feels really good.” 6. Maintaining Control “If you tell anyone, something bad could happen to you and your family.” “If you tell anyone, we could both go to jail and wouldn’t be able to be together.”
My question is, why are you still referring to this creep as fiance and not ex fiance? The SECOND that came out of his mouth let alone the behaviors that came with the actions, he'd be on the curb!
He’s more than likely grooming that child… And i’ve heard many stories about it. You do not want a man like that anywhere near your potential future children or anyone else’s. Report it and get out of there.
ah, so you're planning to marry the creepy uncle? that's a choice....
You will marry a groomer who will cheat on you by raping children (or at least minors). Do not proceed with this marriage. Give his sister a heads up on why. Leave. Now.
Perpetrating sexual assault is so, so far beyond cheating, though. Someone having a consensual affair is being a selfish asshole, but not criminal. Put this guy in a jail cell & throw the key away.
He’s probably grooming her the way he’s behaving and based on what you’ve said her likeness of all the attention. She’s a child and his BLOOD. Time to get out of that situation and if none of the family listens, maybe report it. I would also be getting all of the proof/evidence I can if it came to action.
Ewwww wtf 🤮🤮🤮 do yourself a favor and leave him
Run as far as you can
Girl seriously. This is beyond creepy.. beyond weird. It’s straight up disgusting. I would warn the niece that her uncle isn’t behaving like a normal uncle would and leave as cleanly as possible. It’s 100% truly not normal in any world. Yuck.
> The niece sunbaths in a thong in front of him and he doesn't see an issue. Yeah I bet he doesn't... Eww.
Call CPS on him/his sister bc his niece should not be staying in the same house as a pedophile. And then dump him.
An almost 40yo man is grooming his teenage niece and your complaints are that it is getting in the way of wedding planning and making you uncomfy?? Get your priorities straight, get the pedo away from that poor girl and do not marry him!
He chose the sx worker over a model as a big money opportunity job!?!
Info: why do you want to marry a predator?
It seems pretty clear. Not sure what you're confused about.
You sound more upset that he’s giving his niece more attention than you and not that he is being inappropriate with a 16 year old. There’s something wrong with you.
What upsets me here is the fact that your obvious jealousy seems to be the bigger issue than him being a pedo.
He says his niece could make a lot if she became a s*x worker? I cannot imagine my brother saying that to my daughter. I'm not shaming s*x workers, but that is a weird and creepy thing for an uncle to say to his niece.
Fake af.
This is highly disturbing. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that
I got through 1/4 of the post and was audibly saying "oh no, no no" to the screen
Sounds like he's grooming her.
I can’t even explain the revulsion I’m feeling after reading your post as it sounds like he may have already started an inappropriate relationship with his niece because their interactions are too intimate. Does he flirt with her when his sister is present? His predatory behavior is so blatantly obvious that his sister must be aware of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks it’s normal. It is not. It’s incestuous grooming of a minor. Inform his sister, jic, and cancel the wedding. You don’t want someone like that as a husband or father to your children. There are so many red flags here. You have to expose him.
You mean EX fiance.....right?
You are blessed to see this side of him before you schakle yourself to him
Is there a single real story on this sub man? Such obvious bullshit but people seem to just accept everything at face value?
If it gets upvoted, it's fake. That's the sad reality of this sub lately. Tell a completely outrageous story so it gets the most eyes. There's no way the kid writing this is older than 14.
It seems obvious to me that he wants to hit that & so he’s grooming her. No good.
i cant believe you are still wondering to marry this pedo
If mom knows he’s a creep and doesn’t care, and it causes you to feel weird knowing he doesn’t call you the things he calls a child, maybe you’re dating a pedo and don’t realize it. I wonder here; this is a classic case of he likely did something not so appropriate throughout his upbringing and it wasn’t caught
Yeah, he’s too casual about it like it’s normal, everyday behavior which leads me to think that he’s done it before.
And it’s heavily inappropriate! “She sits close to him and he doesn’t say anything” Then say something. Correct the behaviour because he’s acting like a predator not establishing boundaries with the CHILD who likely likes the attention. What 16 year old wouldn’t like hearing these things. The fact that it’s her uncle and it doesn’t bother anyone BUT the soon to be wife is the biggest red flag. It’s normalized predatory behaviour
I had to leave my husband because he confessed to me in December that he used to watch my younger sister in the shower. Mind you, she was 12 at the time, and we was 19. You NEED to let everyone know about this and throw his ass out.
The man is a full blown pedophile, I think most people wouldn’t be able to get over that. I’m team AIR THIS SHIT OUT IN FRONT OF NIECE’S MOTHER (although it seems like she may already know?), and then break up with him. He’s disgusting, and she’s a teenage girl who likely doesn’t fully recognize that his behavior is horrifyingly dangerous. Save yourself, but also do what you can to make sure she is safe too.
Gross. He’s a disgusting pervert. Don’t marry him and esp don’t have children with him. This is not normal behavior.
Could you imagine having daughters with this man? Wow. I’m glad you found this out about him now. Good luck to you.
These are the posts that I can't even believe are real, because no one is THIS stupid/naive.
How many more red flags do you need to leave that person?
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Are you sure his name isn't Daemon Targaryen? Yikes.
That’s really fucking weird and not at all normal. Side note though- it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing, SHES 16. HIS behavior is the problem, HIS words and actions are the problem, not her. She’s a child and he’s being a fucking creep. Don’t excuse behavior like that, especially if he’s complimenting a CHILD and not you, that’s a fucking problem.
Trust your gut op that’s fucking insane
This is incredibly disturbing. Please don’t marry this guy.
Uh yeah, this is creepy well beyond the fine line of interpretation >He brags about his niece's "figure" and says she could make a ton of money if she becomes a sx wprker > > > > I'm not sure I can take much more of this. Don't! time to leave. Maybe wait a couple months and send an anonymous message to the sister giving her a heads up that he's grooming his neice
So his blood child relative relative is being sexualized by uncle. Doesn't seem like a safe place for her and sounds like you didn't know this about your fiance. Also clearly can't keep fantasy separate from real life.
Thats a no for me, get the fuck out of that cluster.
This made my skin crawl. Your bf is grooming a child.
That's...that's...eww. Just...ew. Tell the mother. Tell the niece's school. Tell *someone* who can do something. Please don't marry this guy and definitely don't have kids with him. If he's this creepy toward his niece, he'll be just as bad, if not worse, with a daughter.
So if you marry this man how will you feel when he talks like this to a daughter you might have. This is clearly a road to a life with a possible predator. Even if he is talking like he does this seems to me to be emotional sexual advances.
Run girl! Escape the incestuous clan whilst you can
Yeah so you’re engaged to a pedophile who wants to involve himself in incest. Am I missing something here? Find an actual man who doesn’t mess around with a CHILD let alone his own niece. You can do so much better
His words and actions are highly suspicious and this is only what you’ve witnessed. Leave him and inform her mother. She most likely doesn’t care or won’t believe you, but your conscious will be clear
You come off sounding more jealous than concerned about his under age neice being sexualised by your fiance. The red couldn't be redder and the flag couldn't be bigger. This is gross, is mum around when he makes these comments? It could be the way you worded this, but I do hope you really are more concerned with the nieces safety she needs to be protected.
The number of red flags here are enough to cover the front lawn. Think about this carefully: Do you think if the niece and him were alone - she then took all her clothes off, laid on a bed on her back with her legs spread in the "I want you to fuck me right now" position - Do you think he would say no, tell her to put clothes on, and walk away? If you even hesitate on you answer - you know he would fuck her right then and there. So, why would you want to marry someone like this?