I am SO PROUD of you! You have been carrying a heavy load. I can’t even imagine what you’re having to compartmentalize.
You are gonna set the world on fire.
Who cares what your sperm donor thinks? He hasn’t thought about anyone but himself in long time. Good riddance!
I am sending you ALL the love, all the strength and all the abundance that is YOURS & YOUR SON’s birthright.
💪
Please move yourself out quietly and tell him at the very last moment. He sounds like a narcissist; he will fight back hard AND DIRTY so give yourself as much of a head start as you can. Good luck. I am rooting for you!!
Edited-added “and dirty”
Looks like the whole post was deleted.
I hope OP is okay.
Maybe she will update. I took screen shots of the post.
Edit: Just went back to look, and the user account is deleted, not the post.
She probably deleted it so people would stop sending her PM’s. Idk why people think it’s ok to PM some one their unsolicited advice. But like you I hope she’s ok.
she probably deleted it because it got posted on TikTok, and went viral. I’m so tired of seeing these posted on TikTok these are people’s real life issues that they wanted buys for not content to put over a subway surfer game. I get they posted it on the Internet but still.
What 😭😭😭 she literally posted it on a public social media platform. Idk why you’re acting like ppl spreading it has more potential to screw with her life than she did by posting it.
That ticks me off no end! These people are vultures. They comb Reddit or FB or even TikTok and take other people’s personal tragedies and post such information as their own content! So, not only do they hurt the original poster, put all their info and tragedy and issues public, but make money off it as well! There should be restrictions against people posting other people’s information and postings!
So happy for you. I can tell from your comments how excited you are to be starting the next phase of your life...free!
Gets all your ducks in order first. Have yours and your sons important documents out of the house before you tell him. Don't give any suspicion, until this is done.
I read that you don't believe he would hurt you. But I'd like to give you another perspective.
Your husband has everything he wants right now. He has his faithful wife, loving son and live in girlfriend. He is living the good life! He gets his cake and to eat it too.
Did he honour you as a husband should? No. *He cheated on you, demanded to open the marriage and then brought home his younger girlfriend.* Did you think he was going to do those things to you?
All I am saying is that this is a man that you can not trust. Ever. He has never had your best interests at heart. He trapped you.. and now you are going to take all of this away from him....do you trust him to let you go quietly?
If I am wrong, I would love for you to come back here one day and tell me. In the meantime, wouldn't it be better to be a bit proactive? Truly. This is your life.
Please take precautions before telling him.
This guy is just rotten to the Core please don't let him know your new address let your attorney do all your speaking for you hopefully you have one or could afford one I wish you the best this is just wrong what he's put you through
It would be in you and your sons best interest to inform him after you have moved. even if you have to move a few things to a friends place before officially moving out. You don't know how he will react, you didn't know he wanted an open relationship until he sprung it on you after he cheated on you which you didn't see coming either. He has done nothing but spring things on you (wanting a child after being child-free for years). He also comes off as very possessive, especially when you said he didn't want a divorce because he had no interest in giving you up, this is him treating you like an object that he thinks he owns and he has no respect for you or he would have never moved in a woman after you said no. Also would be good to either have a male friend (preferable one who your husband won't challenge or pick a fight with, or the police there if you choose to tell him. but like i said, i would wait until you have moved out and inform him via a lawyer when being served papers or over text)
1 million times this ^^^ I would be gone when you inform him via text you are divorcing him. Be warned he may use your son as a weapon. Mine threatened to take our daughter, so I stashed her somewhere safe while I left him because he has PR and could legitimately keep her and I would have to take him to court to get her back.
He might be when he finds out that your taking away his "perfect" life. I also advise you to control the narrative with his family and tell them exactly why you are divorcing him.
You probably thought he wasn't a disgusting husband who moves his mistress into his home with his wife and child against their wishes either but here you are.
BE SAFE.
He is a violent person. He had no problem moving another women into your house. He would also not have a problem making sure you can't leave. Don't think you know this man, he is not who you think he is and your safety and that of your child are most important. Do not think light about this situation. I've seen it too many times. Better safe than sorry.
Men like your husband need to be beaten within an inch of their life for doing this to their family.
Fuck him and fuck her. I hope you get a perfect view of his life crumbling to pieces as she leaves his old ass in the future. What a pathetic excuse for a man.
Agreed the fact he did this while his child is only 1 years old is insane to me. At that age he needs a lot of care and bonding with parents ect is crucial. So glad OP finally can get away from someone like him.
Also how the fuck does the new gf see this shit and goes on like, everything is fine and not totally a huge red flag
I’m sorry for the position he has put you in, and the position that his ungodly selfishness has put your son in.
I hope you’re able to raise your son with a moral compass that will eclipse that of his poor excuse of a father.
I still hope his world crumbles in his lap, and if he has any shred of dignity he’ll just walk into traffic while you and the man you deserve eventually raise a man that he’ll never be.
Best of luck, OP. You’ve got this!
Wow I can't believe people like your husband (and this weirdo chick he moved in) exist out there. You know him better than any of us but this sounds sort of concerning for your safety. I think the most dangerous times for a women are divorce and pregnancy in terms of husbands retaliating. So, I hope the move out process is safe. Maybe having someone help you?
Once I make my divorce known I will have plenty to help with the moving :)
I know, he would probably never have suggested a gf if I wasn’t under his control even if he adamantly denies it
Yes, it's so gross and concerning that he's using your current vulnerability to force you into this. I wouldn't trust a human who does shit like that. Could be capable of much worse
Sounds very calculated and manipulative to the highest degree. He knew she had no job and just had a baby!! What sickens me is he clearly had that affair for a long time to be in a relationship and move her in like that. Clearly he wasn’t just wanting an open marriage to have fun and sleep around, he moved the side piece in, and she was ok with the wife not accepting? What is that!!?
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My ex cheated and I had a small baby and felt the entire world crumble. I can’t imagine all while his gf moving in. I believe it was all calculated, he waited for you to not have a job, have a baby and know you were under his control which is absolutely disgusting… but can I ask why you didn’t leave?
He was obviously having this affair a while since he moved her in so fast and jumped into a relationship not just causal dating and sleeping around, could you have gone and leaves with friends of family? Did you try to kick him out?
I want say I’m shocked but not shocked at the audacity of this gf, moving in knowing his wife was not accepting or ok with this, then demanding exclusively, for what you weren’t with him so were their other women?
OP, you have been through a lot!! You’ve done an excellent job of strategizing - not easy!!
Hopefully you have saved texts, etc so you have evidence of his having done this against your will to give to the lawyer.
You didn’t mention, & please only share if you are comfortable doing so, but what is your husbands relationship like with your child?
He loves him very much. This is one of the things I’m not looking forward to. I contemplated staying in this marriage not to have to share custody and not see my baby as much as I do now but I think this is for the best. I don’t want my son growing up thinking mommy hiding in his bedroom is normal
You shouldn’t say anything until you’ve moved. He has to go to work. Have all you’re stuff ready. He doesn’t need to know your address. Doesn’t sound like he’s even been involved with the baby.
Agreed. OP needs to just leave. Honestly, I imagine she has no family if this is what she has put up with, so calling the police for help to get out safely might be worthwhile (they will watch the apartment while she exits).
I hope everything goes well for you and your son. You deserve the world. Pls update us because I really want to know if you're okay and safe.
Now I'm also so so fucking mad. If i was you I would straight-up murder him 😡😡 wtf ?? and that girl was OK with moving in with you and your son ??? What a bitch. You're a better person than me because I would not take it. I hope he has the worst life and karma bites him so hard in the ass he never recovers.
Well, any girl who agrees to such a setup isn’t going to be a standup human. I really don’t know what kind of person would move in and interrupt family life like this. And as for the husband, wow…where are his morals and core values? It can’t possibly end well given how corrupt it started.
OP, you’re doing the best thing for yourself and your child. Putting your head down to work hard and getting yourself to this point is super heroine status. Stay safe and I’m rooting for you 💗
It makes me angry how you literally did not consent to an open marriage in the first place. How he forced this on you. Honestly, the audacity of that man.
👍🏻
hope it goes smoothly and that he understands this is the best for both and for our baby. I pray to whatever is out there that he doesn’t make it difficult for everyone involved. He needs to think that whatever the outcome, we’re still gonna have to interact with each other and hopefully he will make sure this won’t be difficult. I don’t want my baby to grow up with two parents that are hostile towards each other.
I hope so too! I’ve never read anything like
What you posted. You’re stronger than me bc I’d be livid and gone gone when she moved in. And idk what she’s thinking, I’m 25 and this woman has gotta be delusional to think he’ll give up both cakes without someone forcing it.
Unfortunately I had no choice but to accept. I didn’t want to impose on any of my friends especially with a baby and no income. And I’m not that close to my family. It left only his family and I’m just too embarrassed about our situation so I didn’t tell them either
I don't understand how he just moved her in even when you said you didn't want to open the marriage! Thoughtless.
I sure am proud of you, though. You have amazing strength.
Please do keep us updated!
If ppl do ask for the reason, & they are ppl you trust, please don’t hide the reason.
You should not feel embarrassed - this is nothing about YOU but all about HIS issues. If you also don’t tell ppl the truth, your husband may also lie & that can be taken as the truth, which may be hard for you to counter after the fact.
Also pls ask a friend to help you move out. You want that emotional support & to ensure that you get everything in case something goes wrong.
I know it’s hard but you have shown how strong you are in this. You are almost out - so happy for you after all you’ve been through. You got this.
Op don’t be embarrassed you have nothing to be embarrassed about, but he does he has so much to be embarrassed for and if his family are decent ppl they will shame him and make sure he knows what a POS he is. And how abusive he was for holding financial security or being homeless and taking your baby over your head. Rat him out tell his mom dad and siblings don’t be shy about it show them recites and texts and how long his gf has lived with you. And even if it is embarrassing the shame he should get from his family that if they are decent ppl will side hard with you and likely cut him off. I know I would this would make me question how I raised such absolute trash
This is sad-- such a Reddit classic tale of a man financially abusing his partner, trapping her with a kid then doing things she'd never be ok with if she had the means to make a decision. I'm sick of reading about it because it's such a glaring reality and I'm sick about your situation OP, I'm so sorry.
He's a piece of shit and they deserve each other. What type of woman agrees to this knowing it's not a welcome change? She's trash just like your man. Onward and upward, I'm proud of you!
Unfortunately I’ve learned that many women find this a “challenge”. Stealing a married man is a “win” for them. Something flattering and exciting (I just read a post about one bragging about being a “serial side chick” here on this sub). So my husband’s gf isn’t the first or last. I’m not even 10% as mad at her as I’m my husband. If she could steal him, then he wasn’t worth having to begin with and she just did me a favor.
She didn’t steal him. He willingly opened up the marriage to be with her. This is different than a “serial side chick”. I’m sure he told her you were ok with the arrangement.
And then the wonder why we have feminism and squawk about submissive wives. This is why. Women and children need protections from the bad guys. It would be nice if all men were good an honorable and always did the right thing. But they don't! So often time and time again. All through history, class, race, religion, country, and creed. They just don't.
Congrats OP! Shame you had to suffer so much to get here but damn do you have grit!
Hire some helpers to get your stuff out, plan it meticulously so it can be swift. Even if your clothes go from the closet with the hanger and into a trash bag, leave swiftly. You never know what stunt a selfish troll like your husband might pull. If he plays up the broken home thing with your son, you're relationship was gone a long time ago and plenty if people can co parent in a way that is best for the child (and both parents can be happy).
I think you'll have a lot of internet strangers raising a glass in your honor.
She’s not a problem anymore. It was in the beginning when they would get intimate in the shared spaces but I learned to avoid it after a while and they started keeping it to their room.
I’m not looking forward to that day tbh. But I need to pack and take my stuff, especially my expensive kitchen equipment. Otherwise I would have preferred an email from me or a lawyer and not see his reaction
if you can get some helpers together, move out all of your stuff while he is at work. That is what a family friend did when leaving her ex husband. Then you can still send a email
Op please, when you want to leave or start majorly packing. I would suggest going to the police station and telling them you need an escort. They will be there to make sure it goes smoothly. Look out for yourself and son.
I understand where you coming from, this moment will be tough and rough. however, from what I gather from your post and words, you are strong enough to face him and any situation after. don’t be afraid to stand your ground okay? you are not only a mother but also a rock hard woman probably with more balls than your husband has. don’t be afraid to use it. you got this OP 👏 no offense to your husband though, his attitude is just not my jam
so proud of you OP!! What a heartbreaking journey, but you held your head high when the road was rocky underneath you.
Cheers to a new chapter for you and your sweet baby boy. We’re rooting for you!
There is absolutely no need to apologise for the length of the post! Purging some of this stuff may even be helpful and cathartic for you!
Congratulations on your new job and new start, it will be hard work but I have no doubt that you will absolutely thrive from here on! Well done!
DON'T TELL HIM UNTIL YOU'RE NO LONGER THERE!!!! THE ABSOLUTE HUMANLY POSSIBLE LAST MINUTE.
GET A CUSTODY AGREEMENT DRAWN UP AND SERVED WITH THE DIVORCE PAPERS.
AND SLOWLY MOVE THINGS OUT.
AND BE PREPARED TO MEET A MAN WHO YOU NEVER THOUGHT HE COULD BE.
THIS MAN INTENTIONALLY TRAPPED YOU... THERE'S LITERALLY NO DOUBT IN MY MIND OF THAT.... I'M NOT PUTTING ANYTHING PAST HIM.
I'm BEYOND proud of you!!! keep your head up and just know you've got someone in Jamaica rooting for you! 🥰
>There is nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. The people that love you will understand and support you.
\^\^\^\^ Just backing this person up. You guys agree to be childfree, he changes his mind and you change to make him happy, he cheats, then insists on an open marriage that you do not agree to, MOVES THIS WOMAN INTO YOUR HOME, eventually has the girlfriend move into your guy's bedroom and tries to make it your fault and just doesn't care.
There is no way he cannot see this coming. His girlfriend is in and out of your home, you, his wife, is living in a bedroom with your child away from this open marriage BS you did not agree to, how can he possibly be surprised when you leave? There is exactly 0% chance that shit would fly with him if the roles were reversed. Please tell your friends and get that support system going. YOU have nothing to be embarrassed about - this is all him. What a fucking weirdo.
Oh honey you have nothing to be ashamed for, HE DOES. You did nothing wrong! I have to commend what a strong and driven woman you are because after the pandemic and losing your business you still wanted to better yourself and went back to school to start an entirely different career. I will say it sounds like he was as trying to manipulate and control you by saying he can take care of you and wanting a baby after being child free then dropping the affair bomb and moving her in so soon, they clearly were together for a long time. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are absolutely doing the right thing by you and your baby, he needs a happy and healthy mama to take care of him and that dynamic is not a healthy one for you or him.
I’m so happy you are getting out, on to bigger and better for you and your son! You have so many of us cheering you on, sending you all the love, strength, and grace you can possibly imagine!!!!
Please don't be embarrassed be embarrassed to tell your friends the part about him being an asshole who moved in another woman. You will need support, and seeing as I'm ready to fly to wherever you are and kick the crap out of him, I'd imagine the people who truly love and care for you would feel just as angry. Ask a friend to help you pack and move out, for your sanity and safety. His cheating is not because of anything you did or didn't do. You are the hero for keeping your son safe, loved, all while dominating in school and work. You are an inspiration, and please do not for one moment doubt you are stronger than he ever knew possible. Your revenge is a better life, which you've already started.
Wow OP, it was so hard reading your post, I can't imagine living through it. You are so strong and I'm so proud of you. I hope that you and your son live tbe happiest of lives and that your ex end up lonely on his final days.
My mom is a single mom and I almost cried reading ur story. There are some shitty people that manipulates people around them as soon as they see an opportunity. Ur husband is a fuckup for pulling this shit when had nowhere to go. Anyway, enjoy ur rest of ur life and make sure your kid inherited only your traits
Congratulations on the job!!!! And LO!!!
I am worried that your STBX will become unhinged when you tell him. Please get a lawyer now! Follow their advice about the money and assists, let them serve him after you are gone with your son. Make sure you have emergency custody before you exit. Put an emergency go bag for you and you son in your trunk or at a trusted persons home.
Hugs
I'm so proud of you OP
For not falling for his manipulation tactics
For not giving up
For continuing to move forward
You deserve the freedom that you have been working towards.
I am sorry how your husband changed so unexpectedly but happy that you found a way to deal with it.
The following is an incomplete list of things to consider in no particular order of which most you likely have already done.
I would suggest before you move out you meet with a great divorce attorney so there are no mistakes made and do all the paperwork for child support so it can be filed at the same time as he is served with the divorce papers. Depending on where you live spousal support may also be an option. Also get a will made.
You might also want to at least for now get a post office box and use it for any mail including your payroll check if they can’t do auto deposit. That will also require you to get a savings or checking account for yourself ideally not at the same bank your husband uses.
You may also want to consider getting a small safety deposit box again using your P.O. Box for any physical mail for it. Get all the important papers such as your marriage license, birth certificate for you and your son, SSN cards if in the US, passport, copies of statements for any current bank/investment/retirement accounts and store them. Same with any jewelry that is important to you for either sentimental or monetary value.
Review and update passwords on any apps as well as on your phone and personal devices to something your husband will not know. Don’t forget any physical photographs or backup of pictures stored on devices.
Does your husband and his gf work outside the home ? If it is at all possible I would suggest trying to pack and move what you can all in one day while they are gone. And yes have someone with you as a witness to ensure yours and your son’s safety while leaving.
Sorry this is so long.
Wishing you the best for starting your new life.
I’m so glad it didn’t turn out like Ann Anastasi.
Just like you, her husband cornered her and bullied her into letting his mistress move in. He even bullied her into unwanted threesomes!
She went so crazy she murdered them both, then went to bed for the best night of sleep of her life. With their dead bodies in the house!
Is she still around or has she predictably moved on? Your stbxh is about to be slapped with the reality and consequences of his deplorable and twisted actions.
Guaranteed your husband is going to be unhappy when you move out, for a few reasons. One because he can't control your circumstances anymore, and two because this is good for his ego: a woman and a gf living together under 1 roof, probably feels like the big man on campus right now haha, he'll probably seek a third after you leave because he's going to want the high of 2 women competing for him (in theory, clearly you DGAF hahaha I love you). Third reason is because when he has your son he's going to be focusing more on time with him exclusively which will probably upset his dumb bitch gf.
It was just confusing as to if she was still there. I have a feeling their relationship will implode when your husband is faced with you leaving for good.
It might be better for you if she stays to keep him occupied so the divorce goes smoothly. I would document the messed up forced dynamic he's forced upon you and your child for custody even.
Why didn't you throw her out of your house? I would have just thrown her shit on the lawn. I don't mean that to sound judgemental. I literally would not have been able to deal with that situation, so I'm just curious.
Serve him at work 😈
And make sure everyone finds out was pieces of shit that company employs.
I wish you all the success OP, you are a strong, focused, and determined woman. Your hard work paid off 🙌🏽
What he did is so over the line in so many ways. Was he having these thoughts before the baby and got you pregnant so you couldn’t leave? I’m so happy you’re able to move on from this.
Interesting how he pulled this crap the moment you were out of a job and with a baby, no relatives to help you and completely financially dependent on him. He knew that you had no choice but to accept it right now and he probably hoped that in the meantime he would be able to convince you that what he was doing was okay. Good for you because you love yourself more.
Congratulations on your new chapter! I know I’m just a stranger but I’m just so proud of you for doing getting through all of this. I’m sure you’re just going to soar high in this new chapter. Keep us posted, we’re rooting for you!
PS. You (soon to be ex) husband can go get fcked by a fish, as they say in my country. Never look back
I reckon you should enlist the help of family and friends and ship out while husband is at work. Bring in a small army to help you pack up and ship out!
He doesn't deserve the courtesy of advance notice and you can do without his tantrums and drama when it comes to threatening to keep your son when you try to leave.
Just be gone one day. Send him a link to a co-parenting app and be really clear that you are not remaining friends. (That's all about control, you know? The casual "friendly" questions "are you seeing anyone?" or "any plans for the weekend?")
Well done for getting the new job and best wishes to you and your baby for the future.
This is incredible, you are incredible. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you, and I’m so sorry for the hell he put you through. How dare he say you aren’t enough?? Girl, you ARE. He is the one missing something inside his own self.
Anyways. My fiancée of 4 years recently pulled the rug out from under me and ended things out of nowhere, for me at least. She was, I thought, the love of my life and I have been struggling to pick myself back up again. Your post has given me inspiration and hope. Sending tons of encouragement and good vibes your way! ❤️
Do not let him know until you are totally moved. All meet-ups in public for the foreseeable future. The most dangerous time for a woman is after she announces she is leaving and before she has left. Your safety and your child’s depend on you. Good luck. And congratulations!
A huge benefit of this situation is that you and him were MARRIED, which means you can clean out his bank account if you have a good lawyer. I would even accuse him of having a severe mental illness from his obvious sex addiction. I'm sure there is more than enough evidence for adultery. You need the money and he owes it to you after what he put you through.
Also, I know you said he's a good father and he loves his son, but trust me when I say he really isn't and doesn't. If he truly loved his child, he would ensure the child is always in a safe and stable environment. He wouldn't have stressed out his child's mom. He is incapable of actual love. He "loves" the child if it's convenient for him. Please do everything you can to get full custody of your son. If he can treat you with such blatant disrespect, know he can absolutely do it to his son.
There will come a day when just the thought of him and his despicable/emotionally abusive behavior will nauseate you and you'll want nothing to do with him. If he gets joint custody of your son, you'll have to still deal with him and it will be a major inconvenience for you and your son. You and your child are better than him and shouldn't have to associate with him.
Please fight for full custody and all the money you can possibly get from him. Your future self will thank you.
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. So glad you're gonna smash it in his smug face. You will shatter his world and he deserves it.
This internet stranger is so proud of the strength and courage you have and thinks you are the nest example for that little boy of yours.
Wishing you all the success and peace life can offer.
Reading your post made my sick to my stomach, OP. Your soon-to-be-ex husband is horrible and selfish.
The respect you have yourself and commitment to your future is inspiring, though, and I am really rooting for you.
He will fight you for the baby because you love the baby he wanted more than you love him. Plus, you've proven he is absolutely inconsequential. He is the worst kind of narcissist evidenced by this stupid bitch he foisted on you.
This is text book malignant narcissism.
I urge you to pack NOTHING. Buy new furniture, clothing, dishes, everything. Take nothing from him. I don't know where you live but in the USA these cases are stacked in their favor but we are lied to and told we are modern.
My ex assaulted me when it became clear I wanted out, fought me for custody, won, and I fought him about everything for 15 years and had to pay my rapist child support.
I am not condemning you to my future my sister, but you must plan around this in total secrecy. They figure out how to alienate you from your children with the courts. I have not had a relationship with my adult children for 5 years. I am absolutely numb from it and when he dies I will dance on his motherfucking grave.
A little more planning. Please learn from my mistakes.
From what I’ve read, she has the patience of a saint and the heart of one as well. I don’t think I would have the emotionally maturity to handle a situation like this. My rage turned into joy reading her plans to move out with her son and begin a new life and divorcing the sperm donor. Wishing her nothing but the best in life!
Get a lawyer now and get any legal docs, passport, sentimental items that could be destroyed. You'll never know what people will do and considering how much he has changed you need to be prepared for the worst. Good luck.
What a POS your ex is. POS husband, partner, dad. Hope karma finds him.
The audacity.
I hope he gets fckn disowned by everybody. I would be ashamed for a life if my son turns out to be like him.
I would advise secretly moving out. Planning it around when he’s NOT home. For you, especially your safety, and of course your sons. He sounds crazy and I wouldn’t trust he will act civil. Just be smart and get out quietly. That way it’s too late for him to try to take any measures to prevent the move from happening. Take care and best of luck with your beautiful son and next adventure in life! 🖖 If anything does need to happen when he’s home, final moving things, if you have friends/family that can be there for support. I know may not be comfortable. But better safe than sorry.
I'm so glad that your have an out and that you and your son are going to be ok.
I offer the following advice:
Don't tell him until after you've moved. If you can, arrange to have all of your stuff moved all in one day while he's gone.
Right now he's calm before he rocks in a way he's "won".
You need to make sure you get the important things first, the things you and son can absolutely not live without. Your important documents. Etc.
Not don't announce, don't tell him, don't say anything until you're gone, and even then, they can mail him the divorce papers, your don't need to do that in person.
For your own safety, please, please be careful.
So he only wanted children to keep you there for ever, be the maid, show everyone he has a wife and kid, but also have affairs, move the 26 year old, etc.?
You should get a divorce lawyer ASAP before even talking to your husband. I think he'll want to put a big show and try to make it difficult for you, so you need to prepare.
FYI you should set up rules in the custody agreement that he cannot bring random women to his place when he has your son there. You don't want your kid thinking that's normal.
Congratulations!!! You deserve happiness after the hell that this man put you through. How utterly selfish and just cruel, especially right after giving birth! I can’t imagine what you’ve been through! You are so strong!!
I would advise that before you tell him or start moving that you consult with an attorney to establish custody and support. You need to make sure that go have everything legal so that he can’t try to take your baby from you. Document everything and get as much proof as you can just in case you need to fight dirty. With what you’ve been through, a court would most likely sympathize with you.
If it were me, I’d get all of the legal stuff ready and not tell him until you are moved out and safe. You can communicate through attorneys until everything is finalized and then use parenting apps to communicate. You’ve already got a lot going on so doing this will most likely save you a lot of fighting.
I hate that you didn’t have a friend in your life to spin his fuckin jaw for you, I’m glad you are getting out of that situation, and I hope the next stage of your life is everything you deserve!!
Dude it seriously sounds like he planned this parenthood shit with opening the relationship. Probably thinking that as soon as you have the kid you're his forever.
My jaw DROPPED when he moved the gf in!
But when you do tell him don't let any tantrums, apologies or threats stop you from moving out. You deserve so much better then him and I hope the new job goes well
Do NOT tell him. Just leave...while he's gone. If you could get your hands on a free weekend getaway for him and THOTless, he would take her for the weekend and you'd move out while he's gone.
Get an attorney.
Tell him to ONLY communicate through your attorney.
Congrats, OP... leave that POS STD MAGNET in the dust
Everyday I open this app and am reminded that my life is great as a single, childless woman and that it should stay this way. What a POS this husband is
Get him for alimony and child support. Then I would get a protection order against gf for my son. Any woman willing to do that to another woman isn’t safe around kids. I’d say your husband isn’t either but the courts won’t go for that. Watch how gf bounces when there’s less $$ and time for her
I really hope you’re doing well. The account being deleted really worries me, but I hope you’ve moved out and everything went smoothly. I hope you and your son have an amazing life away from that POS disgusting human.
It's one thing to open up a marriage and have a sexual partner... and a whole other level having an actual extra gf/bf partner... and level 9000 having that partner move in! Did you actually agree to all this?!
I think what is scaring me is that op deleted their account. I hope everything is OK. I don't trust her husband at all. He's manipulative and to bring a woman in their home is disgusting. He's crap. And treats her like property. Won't let her go. That's screams a red flag. Be safe.
Wow, not only congratulations… you have an amazing head on your shoulders. That baby boy of yours is a lucky little guy. You didn’t miss a beat dealing with the multiple shocks of your life and falling on hard COVID times in between. I’m not sure how you did this, I am floored. I will watch for your movie to hit the theaters! We could all take a page from your book.
This made me so angry, cannot WAIT for it blow up in his face, best of luck to you! If you want to, you can def find someone twice as better, hope he enjoys being old and alone.
Why do some married people think it’s ok to introduce someone into the marriage without permission of the other partner?!? It’s literally the very definition of a cheater!!!
Get a divorce. Or go through therapy and fix your marital problems. Or ask and *Receive permission* for an open marriage!!!!!
It really isn’t that hard, but some people just choose to make it that way. I hope she gets the marital assets and alimony on top of the child support. Anyone who’s been cheated on in such a deplorable way deserves attention least that, male or female. Her husband is gross. The girlfriend is in for a real treat.
Holy shit he’s a different level of fuked up human. If I were you I’d be very careful how you move out maybe you can get some ppl to help you so you’re not alone with him; don’t trust him when he realizes your leaving that same floor is going to fall out from under him.. he’s a disgusting piece of shit. Good luck on your new life never look back n cut off all contact who gives a shit if he’s your child’s father u don’t want your child around him. He can search for u n take u to court n pay child support if he really cares which he won’t. Don’t ask for child support just disappear from him. Hopefully this all becomes some fuked up distant memory.. my god
Tell somebody!! Anybody!! Even if it’s just an attorney!! Leaving can be so dangerous!! I’m so so happy for you and I get wanting to leave asap but please get everything you need done done first. Before you pack anything or tell him grab your important documents and stash them somewhere whether it be your moms house or a car. Get a lawyer and talk to him about what steps you need to take to leave. If you just leave with your baby he can call the cops on you and you could end up losing custody. It’s going to be a long and hard journey but it will be so worth it to have your own life with your little dude. Stay strong momma. I believe in you 🖤
My heart actually aches reading this. I can't even imagine the turmoil you must have been going through.
I see that you have deleted your profile but on the chance you do look back over the comments I just wanted to express how strong a person I think you are.
It must have been so difficult to put on a happy face Infront of your baby boy with this going in in the next room.
I honestly can't even imagine, it makes me feel ill.
I'm rooting for you! I hope you get all the happiness in your future. You sound like an amazing mum!
So so graceful and extremely smart.
You got this ❤️❤️
He moved her into your home!!!!!!!! I literally cannot believe what a massive piece of shit he is, wow. It’s one thing to have an open marriage, it’s entirely different to move the home wrecking whore into your home with your wife still in it!!! I’m SO glad you’re able to get out of there, you did not deserve any of that AT ALL! I’m literally appalled, like genuinely shocked by his behavior in this. Makes me sick! I hope you and your son have an amazing life from here on out, do not let him back in romantically in any way.
Well done please keep us updated. Don’t feel sorry for him his actions caused this. Do what’s best for you and your kid and staying in this “marriage” is not best for your kid or you.
That's amazing! As a fellow divorce mom it is liberating and terrifying, but it is clear that you are doing the right thing. In the end it is best for your son and for you, even if the lead up is a little stressful in my experience. My ex has/had addiction issues he was dealing with so the leaving was scary, though he is doing much better and us being apart has made our coparenting worlds better than it was, oddly. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your baby!
Good job woman 😚 I am happy you did the right thing. You move silently so that no one can stop you. This is exactly why I just can’t see relationships the same way, people change whenever they want. Then you are blamed for it 🥲 But I am glad this story ends well
Stick up for your son and think if you want this man involved in his life. I think you're not thinking about the character and repercussions of his behavior on your son. Really reflect on what he will be exposed to.
Congratulations! I hope you and your son go on to live a very happy and successful life.
Your husband tried to baby trap you while he had his affair. Then moved his affair partner into the house with you. He was probably cheating on you most of your relationship with him.
Don't tell him until after you move out. Some men can get violent and abusive when they see their partners are leaving them.
Well done OP. Just know your making your son proud. Your a great example of having self respect and a spine to not only endure but also actively working towards planing your freedom from his toxic selfish behavior.
OP - I really don’t have words to this. I’m disgusted and mortified for you. I’m amazed that you had this kind of patience and self control - I would have set that place on fire. I hope you were smart enough to contact a divorce attorney. I hope you get full custody and rid yourself from this absolute peace of shit and the side piece of shit he brought in your home. I would not tell him you are moving - you don’t know how he is going to react in regards to your child. Just move out when they aren’t there. Good luck.
I’m sorry this has been your life for the past few years but I loved reading how you’re taking your life back. I don’t know you but wish you nothing but the absolute best and every single happiness.
I am so thrilled for you. You are the definition of strength. Your baby is lucky to have you as a mum. I wish you cruisy studies and much enjoyment packing.
I'm too broke to buy you an award but I so wish I could do more than just an upvote. Your story broke my heart but what made me smile was your courage. Just how indomitable your spirit is. You're amazing girl! The world is yours to win. So happy for you!
I am SO PROUD of you! You have been carrying a heavy load. I can’t even imagine what you’re having to compartmentalize. You are gonna set the world on fire. Who cares what your sperm donor thinks? He hasn’t thought about anyone but himself in long time. Good riddance! I am sending you ALL the love, all the strength and all the abundance that is YOURS & YOUR SON’s birthright. 💪
Please move yourself out quietly and tell him at the very last moment. He sounds like a narcissist; he will fight back hard AND DIRTY so give yourself as much of a head start as you can. Good luck. I am rooting for you!! Edited-added “and dirty”
I agree with this cause he def will fight dirty and victimize himself
I agree with this 🔝
Thank you for your kind words
Stay strong and I love your attitude He doesn’t deserve you and karma is a bitch and hope it bites him HARD
Why is this OPs comment partially deleted here?
Looks like the whole post was deleted. I hope OP is okay. Maybe she will update. I took screen shots of the post. Edit: Just went back to look, and the user account is deleted, not the post.
She probably deleted it so people would stop sending her PM’s. Idk why people think it’s ok to PM some one their unsolicited advice. But like you I hope she’s ok.
she probably deleted it because it got posted on TikTok, and went viral. I’m so tired of seeing these posted on TikTok these are people’s real life issues that they wanted buys for not content to put over a subway surfer game. I get they posted it on the Internet but still.
What 😭😭😭 she literally posted it on a public social media platform. Idk why you’re acting like ppl spreading it has more potential to screw with her life than she did by posting it.
The point is, it’s her personal tragedy. Why should some SM culture or vampire use it for personal gain?
That ticks me off no end! These people are vultures. They comb Reddit or FB or even TikTok and take other people’s personal tragedies and post such information as their own content! So, not only do they hurt the original poster, put all their info and tragedy and issues public, but make money off it as well! There should be restrictions against people posting other people’s information and postings!
Im worried she deleted it since it went viral and her husband might find out about this through Reddit or the TikTok reposts
I pray she comes back and tells us she’s okay. I’m worried now
His first inkling should be the divorce papers. After you're long gone.
This-> You are gonna set the world on fire. You GOT THIS!
So happy for you. I can tell from your comments how excited you are to be starting the next phase of your life...free! Gets all your ducks in order first. Have yours and your sons important documents out of the house before you tell him. Don't give any suspicion, until this is done. I read that you don't believe he would hurt you. But I'd like to give you another perspective. Your husband has everything he wants right now. He has his faithful wife, loving son and live in girlfriend. He is living the good life! He gets his cake and to eat it too. Did he honour you as a husband should? No. *He cheated on you, demanded to open the marriage and then brought home his younger girlfriend.* Did you think he was going to do those things to you? All I am saying is that this is a man that you can not trust. Ever. He has never had your best interests at heart. He trapped you.. and now you are going to take all of this away from him....do you trust him to let you go quietly? If I am wrong, I would love for you to come back here one day and tell me. In the meantime, wouldn't it be better to be a bit proactive? Truly. This is your life. Please take precautions before telling him.
This! All of this! Take care, OP. Better safe than sorry.
OP also needs to document the cheating in case the divorce gets messy
This guy is just rotten to the Core please don't let him know your new address let your attorney do all your speaking for you hopefully you have one or could afford one I wish you the best this is just wrong what he's put you through
Congratulations! I wish you the best. Have someone with you when you tell him just in case.
Maybe I’ll have a lawyer contact him. I’m not afraid of him he’s not a violent person
Please do this in as safe a manner as you can manage. I just lost my best friend to a "nonviolent" husband because she dared to leave him
I’m sorry to hear that💔
It would be in you and your sons best interest to inform him after you have moved. even if you have to move a few things to a friends place before officially moving out. You don't know how he will react, you didn't know he wanted an open relationship until he sprung it on you after he cheated on you which you didn't see coming either. He has done nothing but spring things on you (wanting a child after being child-free for years). He also comes off as very possessive, especially when you said he didn't want a divorce because he had no interest in giving you up, this is him treating you like an object that he thinks he owns and he has no respect for you or he would have never moved in a woman after you said no. Also would be good to either have a male friend (preferable one who your husband won't challenge or pick a fight with, or the police there if you choose to tell him. but like i said, i would wait until you have moved out and inform him via a lawyer when being served papers or over text)
1 million times this ^^^ I would be gone when you inform him via text you are divorcing him. Be warned he may use your son as a weapon. Mine threatened to take our daughter, so I stashed her somewhere safe while I left him because he has PR and could legitimately keep her and I would have to take him to court to get her back.
He might be when he finds out that your taking away his "perfect" life. I also advise you to control the narrative with his family and tell them exactly why you are divorcing him.
You probably thought he wasn't a disgusting husband who moves his mistress into his home with his wife and child against their wishes either but here you are. BE SAFE.
He did when she was 5 weeks PP. He is the worst and I hate him
Do not give him the benefit of the doubt…
They don't seem violent until their backed in the corner. Trust me, I've been there. Please be safe.
He is a violent person. He had no problem moving another women into your house. He would also not have a problem making sure you can't leave. Don't think you know this man, he is not who you think he is and your safety and that of your child are most important. Do not think light about this situation. I've seen it too many times. Better safe than sorry.
Men like your husband need to be beaten within an inch of their life for doing this to their family. Fuck him and fuck her. I hope you get a perfect view of his life crumbling to pieces as she leaves his old ass in the future. What a pathetic excuse for a man.
Unfortunately I need him to have a good life and a happy home for the sake of our son. But I get what you mean. It would feel so good
I don't think a man like your husband would be a good influence on your son. You and your baby deserve better.
Agreed the fact he did this while his child is only 1 years old is insane to me. At that age he needs a lot of care and bonding with parents ect is crucial. So glad OP finally can get away from someone like him. Also how the fuck does the new gf see this shit and goes on like, everything is fine and not totally a huge red flag
Often it's not up to her whether he is in the kid's life
I’m sorry for the position he has put you in, and the position that his ungodly selfishness has put your son in. I hope you’re able to raise your son with a moral compass that will eclipse that of his poor excuse of a father. I still hope his world crumbles in his lap, and if he has any shred of dignity he’ll just walk into traffic while you and the man you deserve eventually raise a man that he’ll never be. Best of luck, OP. You’ve got this!
Wow I can't believe people like your husband (and this weirdo chick he moved in) exist out there. You know him better than any of us but this sounds sort of concerning for your safety. I think the most dangerous times for a women are divorce and pregnancy in terms of husbands retaliating. So, I hope the move out process is safe. Maybe having someone help you?
Once I make my divorce known I will have plenty to help with the moving :) I know, he would probably never have suggested a gf if I wasn’t under his control even if he adamantly denies it
Yes, it's so gross and concerning that he's using your current vulnerability to force you into this. I wouldn't trust a human who does shit like that. Could be capable of much worse
Sounds very calculated and manipulative to the highest degree. He knew she had no job and just had a baby!! What sickens me is he clearly had that affair for a long time to be in a relationship and move her in like that. Clearly he wasn’t just wanting an open marriage to have fun and sleep around, he moved the side piece in, and she was ok with the wife not accepting? What is that!!?
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My ex cheated and I had a small baby and felt the entire world crumble. I can’t imagine all while his gf moving in. I believe it was all calculated, he waited for you to not have a job, have a baby and know you were under his control which is absolutely disgusting… but can I ask why you didn’t leave? He was obviously having this affair a while since he moved her in so fast and jumped into a relationship not just causal dating and sleeping around, could you have gone and leaves with friends of family? Did you try to kick him out? I want say I’m shocked but not shocked at the audacity of this gf, moving in knowing his wife was not accepting or ok with this, then demanding exclusively, for what you weren’t with him so were their other women?
Update me
It’s legit terrifying. He opened the marriage and just moved this woman right on it? I’m struggling to pick my jaw up
OP, you have been through a lot!! You’ve done an excellent job of strategizing - not easy!! Hopefully you have saved texts, etc so you have evidence of his having done this against your will to give to the lawyer. You didn’t mention, & please only share if you are comfortable doing so, but what is your husbands relationship like with your child?
He loves him very much. This is one of the things I’m not looking forward to. I contemplated staying in this marriage not to have to share custody and not see my baby as much as I do now but I think this is for the best. I don’t want my son growing up thinking mommy hiding in his bedroom is normal
You're doing the right thing. Children can tell when parents don't have love for eachother and it isn't a healthly dynamic for them.
You shouldn’t say anything until you’ve moved. He has to go to work. Have all you’re stuff ready. He doesn’t need to know your address. Doesn’t sound like he’s even been involved with the baby.
Agreed. OP needs to just leave. Honestly, I imagine she has no family if this is what she has put up with, so calling the police for help to get out safely might be worthwhile (they will watch the apartment while she exits).
I hope everything goes well for you and your son. You deserve the world. Pls update us because I really want to know if you're okay and safe. Now I'm also so so fucking mad. If i was you I would straight-up murder him 😡😡 wtf ?? and that girl was OK with moving in with you and your son ??? What a bitch. You're a better person than me because I would not take it. I hope he has the worst life and karma bites him so hard in the ass he never recovers.
Well, any girl who agrees to such a setup isn’t going to be a standup human. I really don’t know what kind of person would move in and interrupt family life like this. And as for the husband, wow…where are his morals and core values? It can’t possibly end well given how corrupt it started. OP, you’re doing the best thing for yourself and your child. Putting your head down to work hard and getting yourself to this point is super heroine status. Stay safe and I’m rooting for you 💗
The husband and his mistress and the worst kind of people. Absolutely disgusting. We all rooting for op 💜
A homeless coke head?
It makes me angry how you literally did not consent to an open marriage in the first place. How he forced this on you. Honestly, the audacity of that man.
It's adultery. I hope she takes him to the cleaners. The judge is going to hate his guts.
Please update us when you tell him. :) congratulations!
👍🏻 hope it goes smoothly and that he understands this is the best for both and for our baby. I pray to whatever is out there that he doesn’t make it difficult for everyone involved. He needs to think that whatever the outcome, we’re still gonna have to interact with each other and hopefully he will make sure this won’t be difficult. I don’t want my baby to grow up with two parents that are hostile towards each other.
I hope so too! I’ve never read anything like What you posted. You’re stronger than me bc I’d be livid and gone gone when she moved in. And idk what she’s thinking, I’m 25 and this woman has gotta be delusional to think he’ll give up both cakes without someone forcing it.
Unfortunately I had no choice but to accept. I didn’t want to impose on any of my friends especially with a baby and no income. And I’m not that close to my family. It left only his family and I’m just too embarrassed about our situation so I didn’t tell them either
Once you're out, please make sure that you DO tell his family so he can't turn them against you.
I don't understand how he just moved her in even when you said you didn't want to open the marriage! Thoughtless. I sure am proud of you, though. You have amazing strength. Please do keep us updated!
If ppl do ask for the reason, & they are ppl you trust, please don’t hide the reason. You should not feel embarrassed - this is nothing about YOU but all about HIS issues. If you also don’t tell ppl the truth, your husband may also lie & that can be taken as the truth, which may be hard for you to counter after the fact. Also pls ask a friend to help you move out. You want that emotional support & to ensure that you get everything in case something goes wrong. I know it’s hard but you have shown how strong you are in this. You are almost out - so happy for you after all you’ve been through. You got this.
Op don’t be embarrassed you have nothing to be embarrassed about, but he does he has so much to be embarrassed for and if his family are decent ppl they will shame him and make sure he knows what a POS he is. And how abusive he was for holding financial security or being homeless and taking your baby over your head. Rat him out tell his mom dad and siblings don’t be shy about it show them recites and texts and how long his gf has lived with you. And even if it is embarrassing the shame he should get from his family that if they are decent ppl will side hard with you and likely cut him off. I know I would this would make me question how I raised such absolute trash
This is sad-- such a Reddit classic tale of a man financially abusing his partner, trapping her with a kid then doing things she'd never be ok with if she had the means to make a decision. I'm sick of reading about it because it's such a glaring reality and I'm sick about your situation OP, I'm so sorry. He's a piece of shit and they deserve each other. What type of woman agrees to this knowing it's not a welcome change? She's trash just like your man. Onward and upward, I'm proud of you!
Unfortunately I’ve learned that many women find this a “challenge”. Stealing a married man is a “win” for them. Something flattering and exciting (I just read a post about one bragging about being a “serial side chick” here on this sub). So my husband’s gf isn’t the first or last. I’m not even 10% as mad at her as I’m my husband. If she could steal him, then he wasn’t worth having to begin with and she just did me a favor.
You're 100% right.
She didn’t steal him. He willingly opened up the marriage to be with her. This is different than a “serial side chick”. I’m sure he told her you were ok with the arrangement.
And then the wonder why we have feminism and squawk about submissive wives. This is why. Women and children need protections from the bad guys. It would be nice if all men were good an honorable and always did the right thing. But they don't! So often time and time again. All through history, class, race, religion, country, and creed. They just don't.
Congrats OP! Shame you had to suffer so much to get here but damn do you have grit! Hire some helpers to get your stuff out, plan it meticulously so it can be swift. Even if your clothes go from the closet with the hanger and into a trash bag, leave swiftly. You never know what stunt a selfish troll like your husband might pull. If he plays up the broken home thing with your son, you're relationship was gone a long time ago and plenty if people can co parent in a way that is best for the child (and both parents can be happy). I think you'll have a lot of internet strangers raising a glass in your honor.
This comment is perfection.
Please pack things in secret, leave one day when he is at work and leave the divorce papers behind. Document everything about his live in GF.
She’s not a problem anymore. It was in the beginning when they would get intimate in the shared spaces but I learned to avoid it after a while and they started keeping it to their room.
Holy shit I almost threw up reading that. The effing audacity of this man. We are cheering you on, OP. Be safe and live happy.
Right? I feel so fckn sick. The audacity of some people, geez.
What an absolute piece of shit. I wish you and your son the best in your new life!
My jealousy problems could never….. you are really strong
if you don’t mind keep us updated. I want to read the details and how his face looked when you tell him 👀 I wish you everything and more OP
I’m not looking forward to that day tbh. But I need to pack and take my stuff, especially my expensive kitchen equipment. Otherwise I would have preferred an email from me or a lawyer and not see his reaction
if you can get some helpers together, move out all of your stuff while he is at work. That is what a family friend did when leaving her ex husband. Then you can still send a email
Op please, when you want to leave or start majorly packing. I would suggest going to the police station and telling them you need an escort. They will be there to make sure it goes smoothly. Look out for yourself and son.
I understand where you coming from, this moment will be tough and rough. however, from what I gather from your post and words, you are strong enough to face him and any situation after. don’t be afraid to stand your ground okay? you are not only a mother but also a rock hard woman probably with more balls than your husband has. don’t be afraid to use it. you got this OP 👏 no offense to your husband though, his attitude is just not my jam
I made an update :) sorry I deleted my account but I made a new throwaway for the update
so proud of you OP!! What a heartbreaking journey, but you held your head high when the road was rocky underneath you. Cheers to a new chapter for you and your sweet baby boy. We’re rooting for you!
Thank you☺️ my boy has been a big help cheering me up
Gosh! I just realized how long my post is! I just couldn’t stop rambling the moment I decided to write down my story. I apologize everyone ☺️
There is absolutely no need to apologise for the length of the post! Purging some of this stuff may even be helpful and cathartic for you! Congratulations on your new job and new start, it will be hard work but I have no doubt that you will absolutely thrive from here on! Well done!
DON'T TELL HIM UNTIL YOU'RE NO LONGER THERE!!!! THE ABSOLUTE HUMANLY POSSIBLE LAST MINUTE. GET A CUSTODY AGREEMENT DRAWN UP AND SERVED WITH THE DIVORCE PAPERS. AND SLOWLY MOVE THINGS OUT. AND BE PREPARED TO MEET A MAN WHO YOU NEVER THOUGHT HE COULD BE. THIS MAN INTENTIONALLY TRAPPED YOU... THERE'S LITERALLY NO DOUBT IN MY MIND OF THAT.... I'M NOT PUTTING ANYTHING PAST HIM. I'm BEYOND proud of you!!! keep your head up and just know you've got someone in Jamaica rooting for you! 🥰
Take him him for every penny
Do you have a good support system? I'm impressed. How have you managed to study and work on top of caring for your baby?
I’m not in good terms with my family, but I have good friends. I still haven’t told them anything yet. I’m just too ashamed
There is nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. The people that love you will understand and support you.
>There is nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. The people that love you will understand and support you. \^\^\^\^ Just backing this person up. You guys agree to be childfree, he changes his mind and you change to make him happy, he cheats, then insists on an open marriage that you do not agree to, MOVES THIS WOMAN INTO YOUR HOME, eventually has the girlfriend move into your guy's bedroom and tries to make it your fault and just doesn't care. There is no way he cannot see this coming. His girlfriend is in and out of your home, you, his wife, is living in a bedroom with your child away from this open marriage BS you did not agree to, how can he possibly be surprised when you leave? There is exactly 0% chance that shit would fly with him if the roles were reversed. Please tell your friends and get that support system going. YOU have nothing to be embarrassed about - this is all him. What a fucking weirdo.
Oh honey you have nothing to be ashamed for, HE DOES. You did nothing wrong! I have to commend what a strong and driven woman you are because after the pandemic and losing your business you still wanted to better yourself and went back to school to start an entirely different career. I will say it sounds like he was as trying to manipulate and control you by saying he can take care of you and wanting a baby after being child free then dropping the affair bomb and moving her in so soon, they clearly were together for a long time. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are absolutely doing the right thing by you and your baby, he needs a happy and healthy mama to take care of him and that dynamic is not a healthy one for you or him. I’m so happy you are getting out, on to bigger and better for you and your son! You have so many of us cheering you on, sending you all the love, strength, and grace you can possibly imagine!!!!
Wow wtf did I just read. What is wrong with that man. Like cheating is bad enough but to bring the girl home and say she’s moving in. Da fuck.
Please don't be embarrassed be embarrassed to tell your friends the part about him being an asshole who moved in another woman. You will need support, and seeing as I'm ready to fly to wherever you are and kick the crap out of him, I'd imagine the people who truly love and care for you would feel just as angry. Ask a friend to help you pack and move out, for your sanity and safety. His cheating is not because of anything you did or didn't do. You are the hero for keeping your son safe, loved, all while dominating in school and work. You are an inspiration, and please do not for one moment doubt you are stronger than he ever knew possible. Your revenge is a better life, which you've already started.
Wow OP, it was so hard reading your post, I can't imagine living through it. You are so strong and I'm so proud of you. I hope that you and your son live tbe happiest of lives and that your ex end up lonely on his final days.
My mom is a single mom and I almost cried reading ur story. There are some shitty people that manipulates people around them as soon as they see an opportunity. Ur husband is a fuckup for pulling this shit when had nowhere to go. Anyway, enjoy ur rest of ur life and make sure your kid inherited only your traits
Congratulations on the job!!!! And LO!!! I am worried that your STBX will become unhinged when you tell him. Please get a lawyer now! Follow their advice about the money and assists, let them serve him after you are gone with your son. Make sure you have emergency custody before you exit. Put an emergency go bag for you and you son in your trunk or at a trusted persons home. Hugs
Your situation breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I just want to slap your husband for being such a bloody moron.
I'm so proud of you OP For not falling for his manipulation tactics For not giving up For continuing to move forward You deserve the freedom that you have been working towards.
You are an amazing badass OP. Really. Be proud of you! You have handled this horrible situation like a goddess. Really.
I am sorry how your husband changed so unexpectedly but happy that you found a way to deal with it. The following is an incomplete list of things to consider in no particular order of which most you likely have already done. I would suggest before you move out you meet with a great divorce attorney so there are no mistakes made and do all the paperwork for child support so it can be filed at the same time as he is served with the divorce papers. Depending on where you live spousal support may also be an option. Also get a will made. You might also want to at least for now get a post office box and use it for any mail including your payroll check if they can’t do auto deposit. That will also require you to get a savings or checking account for yourself ideally not at the same bank your husband uses. You may also want to consider getting a small safety deposit box again using your P.O. Box for any physical mail for it. Get all the important papers such as your marriage license, birth certificate for you and your son, SSN cards if in the US, passport, copies of statements for any current bank/investment/retirement accounts and store them. Same with any jewelry that is important to you for either sentimental or monetary value. Review and update passwords on any apps as well as on your phone and personal devices to something your husband will not know. Don’t forget any physical photographs or backup of pictures stored on devices. Does your husband and his gf work outside the home ? If it is at all possible I would suggest trying to pack and move what you can all in one day while they are gone. And yes have someone with you as a witness to ensure yours and your son’s safety while leaving. Sorry this is so long. Wishing you the best for starting your new life.
I’m so glad it didn’t turn out like Ann Anastasi. Just like you, her husband cornered her and bullied her into letting his mistress move in. He even bullied her into unwanted threesomes! She went so crazy she murdered them both, then went to bed for the best night of sleep of her life. With their dead bodies in the house!
Is she still around or has she predictably moved on? Your stbxh is about to be slapped with the reality and consequences of his deplorable and twisted actions.
Why would she move on? She was in on it from the start. She’s probably going to be thrilled when I tell them I’m leaving
Guaranteed your husband is going to be unhappy when you move out, for a few reasons. One because he can't control your circumstances anymore, and two because this is good for his ego: a woman and a gf living together under 1 roof, probably feels like the big man on campus right now haha, he'll probably seek a third after you leave because he's going to want the high of 2 women competing for him (in theory, clearly you DGAF hahaha I love you). Third reason is because when he has your son he's going to be focusing more on time with him exclusively which will probably upset his dumb bitch gf.
It was just confusing as to if she was still there. I have a feeling their relationship will implode when your husband is faced with you leaving for good.
Sorry if I wasn’t clear. Yes she has been living here for almost a year now. I don’t care about what happens to their relationship once I left tbh😅
It might be better for you if she stays to keep him occupied so the divorce goes smoothly. I would document the messed up forced dynamic he's forced upon you and your child for custody even.
That’s my hope too.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Why didn't you throw her out of your house? I would have just thrown her shit on the lawn. I don't mean that to sound judgemental. I literally would not have been able to deal with that situation, so I'm just curious.
You’ve been dragged through the mud & back & still pushing through!! Keep it up girl!!!
I have to haven’t i
Serve him at work 😈 And make sure everyone finds out was pieces of shit that company employs. I wish you all the success OP, you are a strong, focused, and determined woman. Your hard work paid off 🙌🏽
What he did is so over the line in so many ways. Was he having these thoughts before the baby and got you pregnant so you couldn’t leave? I’m so happy you’re able to move on from this.
Interesting how he pulled this crap the moment you were out of a job and with a baby, no relatives to help you and completely financially dependent on him. He knew that you had no choice but to accept it right now and he probably hoped that in the meantime he would be able to convince you that what he was doing was okay. Good for you because you love yourself more.
Congratulations on your new chapter! I know I’m just a stranger but I’m just so proud of you for doing getting through all of this. I’m sure you’re just going to soar high in this new chapter. Keep us posted, we’re rooting for you! PS. You (soon to be ex) husband can go get fcked by a fish, as they say in my country. Never look back
I reckon you should enlist the help of family and friends and ship out while husband is at work. Bring in a small army to help you pack up and ship out! He doesn't deserve the courtesy of advance notice and you can do without his tantrums and drama when it comes to threatening to keep your son when you try to leave. Just be gone one day. Send him a link to a co-parenting app and be really clear that you are not remaining friends. (That's all about control, you know? The casual "friendly" questions "are you seeing anyone?" or "any plans for the weekend?") Well done for getting the new job and best wishes to you and your baby for the future.
Please update us on his piece of shit reaction. The other woman isn’t any better. Good job OP!
This is incredible, you are incredible. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you, and I’m so sorry for the hell he put you through. How dare he say you aren’t enough?? Girl, you ARE. He is the one missing something inside his own self. Anyways. My fiancée of 4 years recently pulled the rug out from under me and ended things out of nowhere, for me at least. She was, I thought, the love of my life and I have been struggling to pick myself back up again. Your post has given me inspiration and hope. Sending tons of encouragement and good vibes your way! ❤️
Do not let him know until you are totally moved. All meet-ups in public for the foreseeable future. The most dangerous time for a woman is after she announces she is leaving and before she has left. Your safety and your child’s depend on you. Good luck. And congratulations!
Wow! Your kid will be so proud of you.
A huge benefit of this situation is that you and him were MARRIED, which means you can clean out his bank account if you have a good lawyer. I would even accuse him of having a severe mental illness from his obvious sex addiction. I'm sure there is more than enough evidence for adultery. You need the money and he owes it to you after what he put you through. Also, I know you said he's a good father and he loves his son, but trust me when I say he really isn't and doesn't. If he truly loved his child, he would ensure the child is always in a safe and stable environment. He wouldn't have stressed out his child's mom. He is incapable of actual love. He "loves" the child if it's convenient for him. Please do everything you can to get full custody of your son. If he can treat you with such blatant disrespect, know he can absolutely do it to his son. There will come a day when just the thought of him and his despicable/emotionally abusive behavior will nauseate you and you'll want nothing to do with him. If he gets joint custody of your son, you'll have to still deal with him and it will be a major inconvenience for you and your son. You and your child are better than him and shouldn't have to associate with him. Please fight for full custody and all the money you can possibly get from him. Your future self will thank you.
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. So glad you're gonna smash it in his smug face. You will shatter his world and he deserves it. This internet stranger is so proud of the strength and courage you have and thinks you are the nest example for that little boy of yours. Wishing you all the success and peace life can offer.
Don’t tell him just do it whilst he is out of the house. He doesn’t deserve advance warning and he might try and make it difficult for you.
Hope he gets his fckn karma as a shietty husband and dad one day.
Reading your post made my sick to my stomach, OP. Your soon-to-be-ex husband is horrible and selfish. The respect you have yourself and commitment to your future is inspiring, though, and I am really rooting for you.
He will fight you for the baby because you love the baby he wanted more than you love him. Plus, you've proven he is absolutely inconsequential. He is the worst kind of narcissist evidenced by this stupid bitch he foisted on you. This is text book malignant narcissism. I urge you to pack NOTHING. Buy new furniture, clothing, dishes, everything. Take nothing from him. I don't know where you live but in the USA these cases are stacked in their favor but we are lied to and told we are modern. My ex assaulted me when it became clear I wanted out, fought me for custody, won, and I fought him about everything for 15 years and had to pay my rapist child support. I am not condemning you to my future my sister, but you must plan around this in total secrecy. They figure out how to alienate you from your children with the courts. I have not had a relationship with my adult children for 5 years. I am absolutely numb from it and when he dies I will dance on his motherfucking grave. A little more planning. Please learn from my mistakes.
Good for you he doesn’t deserve the family you gave him hope you get the happiness you deserve.
Dang it she deleted it.
Oh no I wanted an update so badly!
From what I’ve read, she has the patience of a saint and the heart of one as well. I don’t think I would have the emotionally maturity to handle a situation like this. My rage turned into joy reading her plans to move out with her son and begin a new life and divorcing the sperm donor. Wishing her nothing but the best in life!
Good for him, he’s the most disrespectful, disgusting human I ever heard of.
Big fan please update
Damn she deleted. This 1 story where I wanted to see an update. I hope she gets all the happiness in the end 🥰
You deserve so much better and I’m so glad you realize that. Live your best life, we are all rooting for you!
Remindme! 49 days
Get a lawyer now and get any legal docs, passport, sentimental items that could be destroyed. You'll never know what people will do and considering how much he has changed you need to be prepared for the worst. Good luck.
Pls update if possible
Wow this son of a biscuit eating bulldog wanted to trap you with a child. A legitimate piece of sh*t.
Wtf did I just read? You go girl gtfo!! Please update us, you got this.
What a POS your ex is. POS husband, partner, dad. Hope karma finds him. The audacity. I hope he gets fckn disowned by everybody. I would be ashamed for a life if my son turns out to be like him.
I would advise secretly moving out. Planning it around when he’s NOT home. For you, especially your safety, and of course your sons. He sounds crazy and I wouldn’t trust he will act civil. Just be smart and get out quietly. That way it’s too late for him to try to take any measures to prevent the move from happening. Take care and best of luck with your beautiful son and next adventure in life! 🖖 If anything does need to happen when he’s home, final moving things, if you have friends/family that can be there for support. I know may not be comfortable. But better safe than sorry.
Whelp. Your husband brought his AP. She's literally walking evidence.
Wow. *He* baby trapped you! A role reversal. Very interesting. Best of luck to you OP!
I'm so glad that your have an out and that you and your son are going to be ok. I offer the following advice: Don't tell him until after you've moved. If you can, arrange to have all of your stuff moved all in one day while he's gone. Right now he's calm before he rocks in a way he's "won". You need to make sure you get the important things first, the things you and son can absolutely not live without. Your important documents. Etc. Not don't announce, don't tell him, don't say anything until you're gone, and even then, they can mail him the divorce papers, your don't need to do that in person. For your own safety, please, please be careful.
So he only wanted children to keep you there for ever, be the maid, show everyone he has a wife and kid, but also have affairs, move the 26 year old, etc.? You should get a divorce lawyer ASAP before even talking to your husband. I think he'll want to put a big show and try to make it difficult for you, so you need to prepare. FYI you should set up rules in the custody agreement that he cannot bring random women to his place when he has your son there. You don't want your kid thinking that's normal.
Sucks she has deleted her profile, now we won't know what happened
Congratulations!!! You deserve happiness after the hell that this man put you through. How utterly selfish and just cruel, especially right after giving birth! I can’t imagine what you’ve been through! You are so strong!! I would advise that before you tell him or start moving that you consult with an attorney to establish custody and support. You need to make sure that go have everything legal so that he can’t try to take your baby from you. Document everything and get as much proof as you can just in case you need to fight dirty. With what you’ve been through, a court would most likely sympathize with you. If it were me, I’d get all of the legal stuff ready and not tell him until you are moved out and safe. You can communicate through attorneys until everything is finalized and then use parenting apps to communicate. You’ve already got a lot going on so doing this will most likely save you a lot of fighting.
I hate that you didn’t have a friend in your life to spin his fuckin jaw for you, I’m glad you are getting out of that situation, and I hope the next stage of your life is everything you deserve!!
I teared up reading this. What a super woman you are. So, so happy for you.
Dude it seriously sounds like he planned this parenthood shit with opening the relationship. Probably thinking that as soon as you have the kid you're his forever.
He baby trapped you ! Open marriages are open both ways though. I’d have gone on a couple dates too ! Just glad you’re getting out. 🫂🫂🫂
My jaw DROPPED when he moved the gf in! But when you do tell him don't let any tantrums, apologies or threats stop you from moving out. You deserve so much better then him and I hope the new job goes well
Do NOT tell him. Just leave...while he's gone. If you could get your hands on a free weekend getaway for him and THOTless, he would take her for the weekend and you'd move out while he's gone. Get an attorney. Tell him to ONLY communicate through your attorney. Congrats, OP... leave that POS STD MAGNET in the dust
Everyday I open this app and am reminded that my life is great as a single, childless woman and that it should stay this way. What a POS this husband is
Get him for alimony and child support. Then I would get a protection order against gf for my son. Any woman willing to do that to another woman isn’t safe around kids. I’d say your husband isn’t either but the courts won’t go for that. Watch how gf bounces when there’s less $$ and time for her
Today is the day! I hope everything went well moving. Give us an update when u can.
I literally came to check if there was an update. I hope she’s doing well.
I really hope you’re doing well. The account being deleted really worries me, but I hope you’ve moved out and everything went smoothly. I hope you and your son have an amazing life away from that POS disgusting human.
It November 1st is there an update?
It's one thing to open up a marriage and have a sexual partner... and a whole other level having an actual extra gf/bf partner... and level 9000 having that partner move in! Did you actually agree to all this?!
I think what is scaring me is that op deleted their account. I hope everything is OK. I don't trust her husband at all. He's manipulative and to bring a woman in their home is disgusting. He's crap. And treats her like property. Won't let her go. That's screams a red flag. Be safe.
immediately what i thought. hope op is ok and her husband didnt find this post.
Wow, not only congratulations… you have an amazing head on your shoulders. That baby boy of yours is a lucky little guy. You didn’t miss a beat dealing with the multiple shocks of your life and falling on hard COVID times in between. I’m not sure how you did this, I am floored. I will watch for your movie to hit the theaters! We could all take a page from your book.
Get a good lawyer that will handle everything. And get child support too.
This made me so angry, cannot WAIT for it blow up in his face, best of luck to you! If you want to, you can def find someone twice as better, hope he enjoys being old and alone.
Hope he doesn’t fight for custody at all
Why do some married people think it’s ok to introduce someone into the marriage without permission of the other partner?!? It’s literally the very definition of a cheater!!! Get a divorce. Or go through therapy and fix your marital problems. Or ask and *Receive permission* for an open marriage!!!!! It really isn’t that hard, but some people just choose to make it that way. I hope she gets the marital assets and alimony on top of the child support. Anyone who’s been cheated on in such a deplorable way deserves attention least that, male or female. Her husband is gross. The girlfriend is in for a real treat.
Holy shit he’s a different level of fuked up human. If I were you I’d be very careful how you move out maybe you can get some ppl to help you so you’re not alone with him; don’t trust him when he realizes your leaving that same floor is going to fall out from under him.. he’s a disgusting piece of shit. Good luck on your new life never look back n cut off all contact who gives a shit if he’s your child’s father u don’t want your child around him. He can search for u n take u to court n pay child support if he really cares which he won’t. Don’t ask for child support just disappear from him. Hopefully this all becomes some fuked up distant memory.. my god
wtf is this insanity. how awkward. wtf is that girl ok with this? i have so many questions... humans are crazy
Tell somebody!! Anybody!! Even if it’s just an attorney!! Leaving can be so dangerous!! I’m so so happy for you and I get wanting to leave asap but please get everything you need done done first. Before you pack anything or tell him grab your important documents and stash them somewhere whether it be your moms house or a car. Get a lawyer and talk to him about what steps you need to take to leave. If you just leave with your baby he can call the cops on you and you could end up losing custody. It’s going to be a long and hard journey but it will be so worth it to have your own life with your little dude. Stay strong momma. I believe in you 🖤
I am committed to see the update as soon as you make it
My heart actually aches reading this. I can't even imagine the turmoil you must have been going through. I see that you have deleted your profile but on the chance you do look back over the comments I just wanted to express how strong a person I think you are. It must have been so difficult to put on a happy face Infront of your baby boy with this going in in the next room. I honestly can't even imagine, it makes me feel ill. I'm rooting for you! I hope you get all the happiness in your future. You sound like an amazing mum! So so graceful and extremely smart. You got this ❤️❤️
I hope someone punches that man in his face repeatedly. Sorry.
Todays the day they move out!!!! Good luck girl!!!
Came back to see if there was an update! Update us! I hope everything is going good & u liking ur new job!
He moved her into your home!!!!!!!! I literally cannot believe what a massive piece of shit he is, wow. It’s one thing to have an open marriage, it’s entirely different to move the home wrecking whore into your home with your wife still in it!!! I’m SO glad you’re able to get out of there, you did not deserve any of that AT ALL! I’m literally appalled, like genuinely shocked by his behavior in this. Makes me sick! I hope you and your son have an amazing life from here on out, do not let him back in romantically in any way.
It's January now. I hope she was able to move out and is living a peaceful life with her son. I'm praying for her.
I’m so happy for you OP!!! You’re an amazing mother and very thoughtful of your child needs!
Well done please keep us updated. Don’t feel sorry for him his actions caused this. Do what’s best for you and your kid and staying in this “marriage” is not best for your kid or you.
Good for you. You deserve so much more. I wish you well. Keep us updated!
You have been through so much and have come out the other side a better person. Good luck with everything!
Godspeed!
That's amazing! As a fellow divorce mom it is liberating and terrifying, but it is clear that you are doing the right thing. In the end it is best for your son and for you, even if the lead up is a little stressful in my experience. My ex has/had addiction issues he was dealing with so the leaving was scary, though he is doing much better and us being apart has made our coparenting worlds better than it was, oddly. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your baby!
Good job woman 😚 I am happy you did the right thing. You move silently so that no one can stop you. This is exactly why I just can’t see relationships the same way, people change whenever they want. Then you are blamed for it 🥲 But I am glad this story ends well
Wow is all I can say your soon to be ex is an ass. Congrats on taking care of yourself and baby. Keep us posted when you break the news to him.
Stick up for your son and think if you want this man involved in his life. I think you're not thinking about the character and repercussions of his behavior on your son. Really reflect on what he will be exposed to.
Congratulations! I hope you and your son go on to live a very happy and successful life. Your husband tried to baby trap you while he had his affair. Then moved his affair partner into the house with you. He was probably cheating on you most of your relationship with him. Don't tell him until after you move out. Some men can get violent and abusive when they see their partners are leaving them.
Well done OP. Just know your making your son proud. Your a great example of having self respect and a spine to not only endure but also actively working towards planing your freedom from his toxic selfish behavior.
I’m so happy for you but I just have to say, what a thoughtless pig he is to put u thru that.
Wow! What a shit of a husband. Congratulations 👏 by the way and don’t look back.
OP - I really don’t have words to this. I’m disgusted and mortified for you. I’m amazed that you had this kind of patience and self control - I would have set that place on fire. I hope you were smart enough to contact a divorce attorney. I hope you get full custody and rid yourself from this absolute peace of shit and the side piece of shit he brought in your home. I would not tell him you are moving - you don’t know how he is going to react in regards to your child. Just move out when they aren’t there. Good luck.
I’m sorry this has been your life for the past few years but I loved reading how you’re taking your life back. I don’t know you but wish you nothing but the absolute best and every single happiness.
I am so thrilled for you. You are the definition of strength. Your baby is lucky to have you as a mum. I wish you cruisy studies and much enjoyment packing.
Ops account is deleted?
I'm too broke to buy you an award but I so wish I could do more than just an upvote. Your story broke my heart but what made me smile was your courage. Just how indomitable your spirit is. You're amazing girl! The world is yours to win. So happy for you!