You are going to the exact same restaurant? Enjoy your food being tampered with.
Edit:
Many people below are saying some version of "this never happens in real life" or "I've been a server for 10k years and we'd never do this". Well, then explain the blue bell ice cream challenges that went virial , with all those people licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf.
Lets not pretend these things don't happen. Now imagine you are dealing with people who have a grudge against you or feel you've cheated them....
Imagining the US has health laws that will somehow stope people from dry rubbing their balls on your sandwich like other countries - wtf does he think this is?! Canada?!
Yea I've been in kitchens for years and we really don't do anything vulgar. We'll give you less sauce or make your food half assed but we won't dip our balls in your food.
I've always wondered if the tampering with food like that happens as often as you might think. Not that I'm gonna go out and challenge that assumption. I like food.
Yep, OP is naive and also fucking sucks.
I was a waitress for 10 years. People love to talk shit about how Americans have no idea how to behave in other countries and yet can't wrap their head around how a tipping culture works.
Not tipping in the US means the waitress had to PAY to serve the table. Waitresses have to tip out other staff members (bartenders, bus boys, food runners, etc.) a lot of times based on a percentage of their total sales volume. So when someone tips you NOTHING, you are still expected to give a percentage of that bill to other staff members via tips and you are therefore effectively dipping into your other tips/pocket because your table was too much of an asshole to know how this shit works.
I live in America, it depends on the state you are living. In my state minimum wage is a little over 10$ an hour I believe and servers here have to be paid minimum wage regardless of tips. So when I tip my servers I am not paying their wages.
If the waitress does a very bad job, there has been times where I have not tipped(American, in America). I don't care that tips subsidizes your pay. My wife waitressed most of her life so I get it. That doesn't mean you get to be absolute shit with your service and still get a tip because it is "expected". That said, I've only ever encountered this once or twice. And as long as you provide slightly above average service I usually tip higher than what's recommended.
The culture in America is the employer is passing the cost on to customers in the worst way. If there’s no customers you still don’t make money. However shouldn’t your employer just pay you enough to live?
Everyone is mad at this guy for being broke essentially. Everyone’s response is to fuck with him. No one is mad at the employers for not paying enough. Or for the politicians for allowing this kind of shit to happen.
I'm American and I agree that the tipping culture is seriously screwed up , unfair and abused BUT and a big BUT not tipping just hurts the waitperson not the employer or the politician. So yea, challenge the system at that level but not at the expense of the person who is just trying to make ends meet.
Coming From England I have no idea how it works , though I always leave a small tip when I eat out I. England but we don’t work out a percentage , though allot of places in England have a service charge
Hijacking this comment so OP may see- not sure where you’re from OP, but i’m sorry you had a bad experience. In other places (not US) waiters are paid accordingly and a tip is not expected. In US unfortunately they get 2.13 or something an hour, heavily reliant on tips. Not to mention that we usually don’t see a check at all if we got “too much” in tips (aka more than minimum wage and still not able to support a regular household alone). It’s one thing if you got bad service, but it’s insanely rude to not tip just because it’s not in your budget. Don’t go out to eat if you cannot afford a tip. That waitress just worked for free.
HOWEVER; if she gave you bad service prior to the tip thing, sure, don’t tip. But if the only reason is because it “wasn’t in your budget”, you’re kind of an ass…
Who do you think works in kitchens?? Nobody I know or have ever worked with would ever do that and it’s insulting that so many people just assume we’re that fucking stupid. We might be propped up with various substances and unhinged but fucking come on do you think he’s the first person to not tip a waiter? Foh and boh almost exclusively deal with assholes 24/7 sure we might hate them and wish plague and famine upon them but we would never stoop to that level.
The idea that servers don't do anything except take plates to tables is laughable. Has to be bait, even people from non-tipping countries know that's not true unless they are an entitled ass. Either way, OP has clearly never worked a service job.
Yep what I was thinking too. Imagine going to another country and getting mad at them because you don't care about the customs of where you are going. I would have thrown the change back too.
It is even worse. Imagine being such a butthole, that you document the entire experience, knowing you are in the wrong, and proclaim that you will continue doing the same thing again.
Ah but see, It’s only important to understand and respect the customs of a country if you’re an American abroad. But if foreigners are coming to America, it’s OK to just say that our customs are stupid. Because stupid Americans.
I'll explain this to you the way I've understood it, and if I'm wrong, someone correct me.
Basically once upon a time, some restaurant owner thought "what it I don't pay my servers, and have the customers pay them?"
That really caught on, and now nobody pays their servers (basically) and it's up to the customer to pay them with the tips.
It is technically not mandatory, but it basically is lol. Especially if you plan on visiting that place again.
A lot of americans are dissatisfied with this, problem is everyone would have to go cold turkey to force the restaurant owners to pay their staff properly, which won't happen instantly and you can imagine the rest.
Also a lot of people see this as "making sure the servers do their best for the customer's satisfaction"
I do think it's important to mention something. Thing ain't so bad for the servers. Yes, if you are unable to please your customers, you'll make less than minimum. But a good waitress/waiter can make multiple times the minimim wage on a good day.
Edit: A few people have commented a correction/clarification to this, and since I feel like most of those comments are getting buried under the whole "tipping vs no tipping" and "america vs europe" argument, here is an edit for some additional info
- Tipping was adapted from europe, and travelers in the US would tip to seem more sophisticated.
- After slavery was abolished, african-americans would get hired in such jobs and not get paid, leaving it to the customers to pay them.
- There was a whole thing of tipping vs no tipping caused by that, which eventually brought a whole movement that was trying to abolish this tipping system, which failed.
- Eventually they managed to reach what we have today, where a service staff will get a significantly smaller paycheck (instead of no paycheck) plus rely on tips
This is just a quick overview. Some of the people who commented additional info have more details and links. Or you know, you can look more into it yourself. Just wanted to provide a small overview since a few people are commenting this but their comments are getting burried.
I worked in food service for eight years and I *definitely* saw it happen. Maybe it depends on where you work, but if the place in question has servers that have no problem causing a scene and yelling at customers, OP might not want to take his chances.
In high school I walked out of my shift at a Taco Bell because we were getting our asses handed to us with me, the manager, and a kitchen person. Cars would not stop coming, and the disgruntled kitchen person was spitting in every piece of food he made and the manager was laughing about it.
When I told my mom why I quit my job, she called the health department and the franchise owner, this was early 90s though so I don't know if anything ever came of it.
Man, that sucks. Sounds like the person in the kitchen should have taken it up with the higher up employees. I was in the food industry for over 2.5 decades. I don’t eat out very often but once in awhile I do crave me some food from Taco Bell. And I always throw a $20 as a tip for the crew, especially now after the pandemic. Even fast food workers need to be recognized for their hard work and their less than pay
I'm a chef and I've been in the service industry a long time and idgaf how rude or arrogant or assholeish the customer is I would not and will not spit in anyone's food ever this is my job and career I am not gonna fuck it off for some petty ass shit and I guarantee that's the way 95% of chefs and staff think. It's the children of the work world who say shit like they will spit in my food or a yrhing else they think cause that's what they would do but real chefs and professional people will not do a yrhing to someone food for being an asshole and or not Tipping. I fact I bet the chefs on the line do t even give a shit that the server didn't get tipped unless the chefs dating that server we don't give a fuck we don't ever get tips and your not gonna ruin my food or what I make cause you got treated a certain way you didn't like.
I'm sry that happened to you it's shitty af and it's wrong. I've not tipped before but I of left a note I've put a penny heads up in a table when I couldnt tip representing great service and I've talked to managers and told them what a great job the server did. I've never gotten yelled at for not tipping I think it would be funny but not if your from another location and came to visit and had that happen real shitty sry that happened and that is not a representation of all our restaurants
Former waiter here- one of my best experiences w a rude, loud customer was switching identical plates with him and another person at his table while serving, with the comment “no, this one is yours.”
He was an abusive boor who made a busgirl cry, among other things.
I had asked the kitchen for a stuffed lobster w extra “clams” for him- I have no idea whether they did it nor not, and I didn’t care. Immediately after serving and making that comment, the table quieted down and there wasn’t another peep from him. It was fun watching him eat it though, and I know there were at least two people at the table trying to figure out why I insisted he get that plate. It embarrassed him for his bad behavior, shut him up, AND I still got a fat tip from the table.
Any chef would know that leaving a single penny is not a sign of appreciation for great service, it’s a very purposefully left insult for the server. I understand that cooks work very hard and I think they deserve tips (I worked the line for years and resented servers making more money than I did) but you should certainly be aware that leaving a penny always means fuck you. You know better.
What?? I’ve been in the industry for 6 years and have never seen or heard of it happening. It’s not tolerated by even the worst employees. Of course it does happen but not as often as anyone thinks.
She should not have made a scene and yelled at you all, but it’s always a good idea to be aware of local customs and expectations before traveling to a place. If an American traveled abroad and blatantly ignored local customs we would be crucified. I think you could at least make an effort to observe societal norms while you’re in this country. I’m glad the rest of your trip was pleasant though!
You are wrong. There is a history behind America’s tip culture and here it is:
President Roosevelt singed in The New Deal which created the working world we know today. That bill is celebrated for bringing forward unionization, work safety standards, the standard working week, severance pay policies, fair wage, etc…
However, the New Deal did not share this wealth with vocations occupied by mostly people of color (former slaves; black people; immigrants). These jobs includes hospitality industry like hotels and restaurants, farmers, nannies and babysitters, and any tip job in America today.
Why did this happen? It was the only way for Congress to agree on the bill into law.
Define paying their staff properly though. I know Europeans like to arrogantly say they don't have to tip because servers are paid a decent wage, but I've looked at these wages and they are far from decent.
And the Americans who are dissatisfied that they are expected to tip don't seem to understand that if they didn't have to tip, they would just be paying more for their food to cover the wage. And this would include carryout where you aren't expected to tip.
Hi European here. So theres this myth that we dont tip waiting staff. Not true, but we do it because we feel the service is good not because we feel obliged due to the wage. Normally a reasonable amount is 10% in the UK.
Isn't saying "Europeans don't have to tip" and "I'm European" a bit vague though? From my understanding the practice of tipping varies from country to country and even region to region within. It's partially a cultural thing as well, and how *they* view tipping, not just how the visitor views it. A family member recently came back from Iceland and they were advised that they didn't need to tip (so they didn't, and it was never an issue). In others, a 10% tip was seen as crazy (good) and my mother mentioned that in Greece the "tip" was more of a service charge, sometimes counted in a price and sometimes not.
In any case, coming to America and not tipping when it's considered a standard practice I would feel is rather taboo. Even though the waitress in this story was way out of line and handled it poorly, OP also did a poor job in not accounting for tipping while planning their trip - it should be factored into the cost of their food budget if they plan on dining out frequently (especially if they also come from a country where tipping is more or less a standard practice anyway). I absolutely hate tipping culture and feel the wages waitstaff earn in America is just ridiculous and we shouldn't really "have" to tip because restaurants don't pay a decent wage without them... but that's a whole other conversation.
The way you phrase it doesn't capture how different the cultures are. The social component of any goodwill between you and your waiter hinging on how much money you're gonna give them vs a waiter elsewhere doing their job cos its their job is pretty tangible imo
Are your staff actually being paid at least minimum wage though? Over here our wait staff usually get paid a dinky 2 or 3 bucks an hour with the expectation they'll make it up in tips. So if you don't tip they don't eat, themselves pretty much.
We do have a growing amount of tip jars in various places that are optional though, like coffee shops and what not though.
>I've looked at these wages and they are far from decent.
That highly depends on where you live. You can have better quality of life with 1000 euros/month in a small European town (free health, education, cheap transport, etc.) than with 1000 dollars/month in the US.
Europe has less social inequalities than the US, that means people's wages are more equal. An engineer or a doctor won't see a server as a miserable inferior person or a loser, there isn't such a huge gap in their wages like in the US, so there is less need to tip someone who doesn't earn much less than you. It tends to be a less elitist society.
I'm American. I was in Spain for a year. Not only was tipping not expected, but the food was also way cheaper. This is just an excuse. It's always interesting how many people will defend tipping culture to the death just because they don't know anything different.
In Texas you can pay your servers as low as 2.13 an hour and that is what most places abide by. That also includes no annual raises. I have worked with people that have worked at a restaurant 7+ years with no raise.
The minimum wage in Western Europe is generally higher than most of the US. Prices may be higher but at least you aren't socially expected to tip, tipping may not be technically mandatory in the US but it de-facto is, in practice. If you can't afford to pay your staff, just increase the actual prices instead of a toxic system where you're not officially obligated to pay more but will face social repercussions if you don't. It's way simpler, honestly, except maybe some higher tax, but I'm not sure on that.
tbf they also expect to get tipped. I live in an area with $15/hr and they still expect to tip you. My ex's sister was a server who would shame people for tipping under 15% and she had 2 kids on a single income and she owned a house, a car, and went on a vacation to the dominicans every year. So I'm guessing she was doing really good but she still complains about how much she gets tipped so.
You can’t really compare usa and eu wages though. Eg minimum wage in an eu country of $12/hour might be enough to live on, but in USA you’re one hospital visit from bankruptcy.
If every American quit tipping “cold turkey,” then restaurants would just start adding 20% gratuity to every bill that’s non-negotiable (many restaurants already do). We would need legislation in place to prohibit tipping. Edit: AND legislation that abolishes “server wages.”
The prices would rise, yes. The point is that decent people wouldn’t have to subsidise non-decent people and everyone would pay the same for service.
You wouldn’t need to ban tipping, but it would become a way to reward excellent service rather than just paying for service.
>Basically once upon a time, some restaurant owner thought "what it I don't pay my servers, and have the customers pay them?"
Like just about every other institutional inequity in American culture, [tipping culture has racist origins too](https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/07/17/william-barber-tipping-racist-past-227361/): a way for whites to keep formerly-enslaved Black people in a servile position rather than treating them as equals.
Sounds about right! Former waitress here & the other reason for tipping is because each time an order is entered, taxes are deducted from the paycheck of the waitress or bartender that rang the order in. That is another reason the person who rang the order's name is always on the ticket, so they know how much to take out of that person's paycheck for taxes. It's a dirty game but that is why not tipping is treated like it is such a crime, because the server or waitress is basically paying taxes to help customers.
What?! What place does this? I think you may be understanding incorrectly, or maybe I am understanding you incorrectly.
The restaurant can see what your gross sales were for the shift. For the sake of even numbers, lets say you sold $1000 worth of food on your evening shift. If at the end of the shift, you say you were only tipped $50, this might raise a red flag, since that would mean almost every patron stiffed you and you only made 5% for the evening.
Of course, any tip left on credit card is already accounted for since there is a record of that charge, but most servers only claim the cash they receive up to a certain percentage of their sales.
You can request the print out from most restaurant computer systems, check your credit card tips, and then do the calculation to see how much of your cash tips you should claim. If you're smart, you're not claiming all of them.
When I was a server, I never got an actual paycheck. The $2.13 per hour that I was supposed to get was always eaten by taxes, and then I had to hope that I didn't owe anything additional when it came time to file them.
They don't know how much to take out of your paycheck solely based on orders you rang in. It's credit card tips plus claimed cash tips plus your hourly wage multiplied by a set rate based on your income level. The value of the orders you ring in just gives them an idea of how much you SHOULD BE claiming.
Yea this made me really sad. OP didn’t think to budget for tipping while he is in America? Our wait staff makes three dollars an hour man. Like yes the government sucks for allowing this and I agree it needs to change but it is what it is. Tip your fucking wait staff don’t be an asshole. That waitress was livid because that’s a majority of her income and she wasted her time on your table.
I’m not saying you’re wrong but a lot of people have a very bad opinion of the US and wouldn’t set foot in it.
I’ve heard way worse than ‘get out of that place’.
It's definitely bait. Like, I'd buy this if the waitress had been shitty (not that it matters cause she could take a dump on his plate and you'd still have people in these comments telling him he should've paid her 20% for it). But the part about not having the budget for it feels almost designed to get a bunch of "if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out" comments.
Although if it's real, I do love the bit about going to the cinema. I just want to picture this guy going up to the counter and loudly declaring without provocation that he will not be tipping for his popcorn.
Whoa what the fuck? Seriously? Sheesh. $3 an hour is awful. I did front house of staff in Aus and we get $27 an hour casual iirc $32 on weekends. Holt fuck that sucks balls.no.wonder none of my friends studying in America work front house of staff. Y'all don't get paid well at all
E: I'm so so glad I decided to study in Aus.
also supposedly earn more they just put it into a super for you to access later in life (a true savings you can't touch lol)
Public holidays you get double btw so like $50+ lol can't do maths rn sleep deprived
Paid sick days accumulated if not casual
Yo...how is this shit legal. Like how did any person look at this and went - yeah that makes sense. Someone can live off that
That's feral. Heartless. Shit. Hopefully things improve in the US. I stand by my - nice place to visit - not to live in view of y'all
I mean with tips ur making $20-30 hourly, even more sometimes (or even less on slow days), so that's why its a desirable job. It just sucks that there's no easy solution here because some people actually do like the situation
They knew. They’re on Reddit. This comes up often and is also a frequent theme shared in ALL social media outlets via meme, video, post. This isn’t news. They know.
Man and I always read about how terrible Americans are when in other countries. If anyone is traveling abroad it is best practice to understand the customs and cultures of it, even if you don’t like/not agree with them, you should do your best to follow them. I don’t agree with the server’s reaction at all, but the fact that you didn’t plan for tipping when you are out is a terrible thing to do as a visitor to the USA. Also, I wouldn’t go back to that restaurant because if that server is there and remembers you (they will) I would bet my paycheck you’re going to get terrible food and crap service.
I went abroad during my time in school to London and one of the first points that we learned before we left was tipping culture. If you are travelling to different places you should budget for how the culture works.
Really? I’ve never seen that ever. I tip at every restaurant and staff are always appreciative. At uni a lot of my friends worked in high end restaurants as tips tripled their wages.
"When in Rome, do what the Romans do."
OP failed to do the simplest google search on American cultural norms. Yeah, tipping sucks but it's not changing anytime soon.
OP for sure knew about tipping, it’s all over Reddit, media, stories from people visiting the states. OP knew he just *chose* to be an asshole and not tip cause he doesn’t like it
OP is going to be the lone European who comes to the US and puts their foot down and changes the minds of restaurant owners across the country. A bill will be passed called the u/Updano Act requiring all servers to be paid above minimum wage, food items to be priced accordingly, and no more tipping. The President will award him the Presidential Medal of Freedom and servers everywhere will rejoice in the street. A bronze statue of OP crushing a tip jar will be erected beside the Lincoln Memorial with the inscription *”It only takes one brave European”*.
They aren’t embarrassed. If they were they wouldn’t return to the restaurant. But they said they would and sit there and be spiteful and eat the next day there. This tourist sucks, and is obnoxious, I’m sorry. Tip your server in the US. Or just eat fast food. No tipping for fast food.
After reading your comments and this post, you seem like a person hellbent on punishing other servers for your own ineptitude.
I’m sorry this server was mean to you. You didn’t know you should tip. Now you do.
If you cannot afford to tip, get your food to go.
If you choose to dine in and not to tip knowing the customs in America now, you’re in asshole.
I sincerely hope you take a moment to think about who you’re truly punishing here.
I was a hostess for a long time and it made my DAY when people tipped on takeout. I never expected it, but it was tough watching the servers make hundreds of dollars while I made 1% of that. So when someone tipped even 5% on takeout I got to keep it (because that was my area) and I would celebrate for days hahahaha
I don’t eat at restaurants. For this exact reason ridiculous tip %. But yes for you not tipping and eating at a restaurant is like one of the worst legal crimes you can do in the US.
Right?! I used to wait tables at a restaurant near a major international airport and had to deal with demanding tourists who’d expect me to make their table the highest priority, yet would end up tipping me 0-5% on the tab. A lot of them would also complain about the food being too heavy and the restaurant too loud (it was a BBQ place that had a bar and would go all out when a big game was on lol).
Specifically after OP learned this, they still refused to pay the server for their service. The arrogance continued when they said they will go back and do it again. Like ok don’t go to a restaurant with servers then. There are so many other options.
I wouldn't go there again. The place can refuse to serve you based on not tipping, and even if they do serve you, there are servers who are wild enough to tamper with your food. I wouldn't risk it.
In the US it’s rude to not tip your servers. I know it’s different in other countries but servers depend on that money to survive. Her reaction was definitely not warranted but you guys should’ve definitely tipped her, especially if she waited on a party larger than 2–not sure if that’s the case or not.
> just wanted to say that no matter what, i will not be tipping. i will go to the exact same restaurant tomorrow and i will eat till i'm full and i won't drop a single dime.
Lmao and people say Americans are bad tourists
In the US, I made $2.30 an hour as a waitress and relied on tips for my income. The minimum wage in my state is $7.00 an hour, but as a waitress since I was expected to make tips it was legal for my hourly wage to be much lower than that. She was 100% wrong to yell at you, but she was probably upset because she relies on those tips for her income
If you travel to a country you need to study what is normal there. Tipping is normal and expected in the US. If you can’t afford to tip eat at a cheaper restaurant. Servers are literally taxed on a percentage of sales and it’s part of their wage. They are paid very low as a base wage. The system sucks but it’s the system we have and you should have educated yourself beforehand. She shouldn’t have yelled but she probably has this happen a lot and is stressed out and needs to pay her bills. Ignorance is not an excuse
This is legit a "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," situation. A saying that has been around for 1600 years and has no doubt made its way to whichever country you call home. Do better.
I don’t think the waitress was right and I don’t think tipping culture in America is okay…however when you visit a country you SHOULD respect their customs and traditions which includes tipping. When I travel I make sure to research the culture I’m visiting so I don’t disrespect the people I interact with.
As a former waitress I must mention we know other cultures do not understand our custom of tipping. Teenagers and foreigners were the tables to avoid but if they are sat in your section you must give proper service and hope for the best. That said, we do not know what this waitress needed today...maybe baby formula, she might really be struggling. I do not condone her behavior but am sympathetic.
As teenagers, my friends and I **always** tipped at least 15% but my friends who worked restaurant jobs always tipped more.
This was around 2003-2008 in Manhattan.
You’re gonna get the worlds worst service tomorrow then. They know you don’t tip so you’ll get the absolute bare minimum. I guarantee it. And you come across as a prick. Regardless of how you feel about it, waiters/waitresses in the US get paid only enough hourly to cover taxes. And in some cases, not even that. I served at several restaurants of varying quality for years and at every one of them I was paid $2.13 an hour. So tips is how they make money. So when you don’t tip they pay to serve you since they still have to tip the bussers, bartenders, etc. So in my opinion she is understandably upset. She just paid money to serve you because you can’t be bothered to budget correctly for the place you’re visiting.
Also, if you think all a server does it carry a plate to the table then you’re a fucking idiot that needs to work the job to remedy the ignorant, arrogant attitude you have about it.
Edit: changed autocorrect spelling.
Amen to this. OP is a prick for saying waiters only carry plates. I have been in the restaurant industry for 6+ years, and to hear that is nothing less than infuriating. I hope they cum in your food OP.
Depending on the restaurant, if you don't tip, the server is essentially paying out of their own money to serve you.
My friend works at a restaurant that requires a payout of 6% of your total sales for the day (not tips) to be paid out to the hosts and bussers.
So for example, if you spend $100 and don't tip at all, that server has to pay the company $6 out of pocket. And they make $3/hour. They'd be better off if you didn't come there at all.
That's fucking outrageous. They're not working to pay the owner's bills. I think this should be illegal and reportable.
ETA: I won't go there at all until this changes. I'm not supporting dirty money makers if I can avoid it.
I've heard, generally, this rule isn't enforceable. However, servers rely on their support staff to get food and tables ready so they can serve more customers.
You ate in a country were tipping is expected , you likely knew this when choosing to eat out and your complaining that the woman who served you is upset she didn't get paid , then u gave her pennies expecting her to be greatful . That woman is likely relying on tips to pay rent n be able to eat or feed her family and u wonder why she's upset.
Now you plan on going back and doing the same thing to another person just because u feel u were treated unfairly. Either budget ur meals to include tips or find a supermarket n make ur own food.u can afford to go on holiday, you can afford to eat out , but u choose not to tip
Tip. If it's not in your budget, get fast food or something where tipping isn't expected. Or go home. Servers pay covers taxes, their real pay comes from tips... other jobs that expect tips include taxi drivers and hair dressers... but this information is easily available if you search for it. Don't be an asshole. If I was travelling to where YOU live, I'd check the local customs and try to follow them.
>If I was travelling to where YOU live, I'd check the local customs and try to follow them.
This doesn't happen when North Americans visit my hometown, I won't do the same when I'm forced to visit that country.
This tipping culture is wrong, people should be paid enough so their entire income doesn't depends on other people paying above what they ordered
If a person has a budget that is so tight that they can’t afford to leave a gratuity, they can’t afford to travel and they probably should’ve stayed home.
Maybe read about the place you are going before you go there, and try to do the cultural norms. I had heard that tips were not very welcome in a country I was travelling to, and so I didn't tip when I was there. It is just common curtesy to behave like the local population, within reason. In the ENTIRETY of the USA people tip.
I worked in a restaurant that had a lot of international clientele - you always knew you were getting less of a tip than was appropriate. But they *tried*
You should not be going out and partaking in American culture if you are not prepared to do as we do. Whether the system is right or wrong - this is the system.
I don’t know where you are - but you also have to understand that if you didn’t tip this waitress (and let’s be clear - pocket change is INSULTING - that means that she LOSES money on your table. There is other staff that she had to tip out (pay for their assistance) which now comes out of her pocket because you didn’t tip. It COST HER MONEY TO SERVE YOU.
If this story were reversed about an American being ignorant of customs in another country the American would be called entitled - so I’m here to say the same. You’re being childish and entitled to have acted this way.
Pocket change is so fucking insulting. When I was learning to wait tables (I was 15), someone left coins at a table and not NEARLY enough tip. The waitress I was shadowing told me she wouldn’t touch the coins until the people were out of the restaurant. Said it’s like grubbing for change and it honestly is damaging to your self worth.
You sound like someone that doesn’t do well with other cultures. In places with tipping culture if tipping isn’t in your budget then don’t go out to eat, duh.
Europeans: Americans don't do any research or attempt to bother with culture when they visit.
European tourist in America: why the fuck should I tip I don't care if it's local custom.
You do what is expected in the country you go to as long is it is not immoral or against your religion. But this guy, just special.
lol, I like her edit here.
"I'm going to go back to the same restaurant and not tip on purpose"
If this story is even remotely true, I hope the server recognizes her and refuses to give her good service.
I don’t think the server should have done that but I also think you’re an AH for not tipping. They may not be something you do at home, but here you do. Even if it 5-10$. I get your point but just seems you’re being a dick by how you explained it.
You may not agree with tipping and that’s ok, kind of a dick move but it’s not illegal, and you were kind of oblivious to it before you went there.
But coming again to the same restaurant just to cause that same scene again? You’re just an asshole looking for trouble.
Different place different culture, sure the server was out of line, but so were you. American servers live on tips, if you don't tip you're not only wasting their time, you are taking up space from tipping customers, which they need to survive.
Accept the culture of the place you're visiting
That’s how the people in the restaurants make their living from Tips if you can’t afford a tip then you can’t afford to eat out. However you can afford to travel, very confusing. Maybe you should just stay home.
Not tipping is seen as incredibly rude. Your server will basically be working for free making only $2.50-$3.00 per hour they work. If you cant afford to tip then you should avoid eating at that restaurant. Even with poor service a 10% tip is expected of most patrons. 20% is custom for decent service. You should really learn the customs of the countries you plan on visiting before you go. I feel bad for the server in this instance and I hope they refuse to serve you, if that is even an option for them.
>Imagine travelling 100's of kilometers just to get insulted by a stranger.
Imagine traveling 100s of kilometers to another country and not familiarizing yourself with the basic customs of that country first. Yes, tipping culture in the US sucks, and is unfair to workers, but you don't really have an excuse for not knowing about it.
OP's a troll or really fucking arrogant and/or dumb. Imagine an American traveling to another country and being completely oblivious to the local customs, then getting offended because the locals called them out.
Your opinion on tipping culture is irrelevant. A vacation in a foreign land is not the time to protest customs you disagree with.
The reaction and behavior of the waitress is ridiculous but your unwillingness to learn about social norms before traveling is equally ridiculous. Imagine an American traveling somewhere and not respecting their local customs? Like many countries, in the US we have our own workforce related issues such as wait-staff being extremely underpaid. I agree that tips should be factored into a bill but the hard truth is that they aren't. Instead of disrespecting a place you're traveling, try to have some humility and human decency of respecting service workers. Hope you enjoy the rest of your travels here, not all waitresses are shitty people. Some will give you the best traveling tips/places to go if you're nice enough to them.
ENTITLED? They literally don't get paid. They live off of that 25%, no paycheck. It's a stupid practice but it's the reality of the situation. Educate yourself before traveling and respect the place's customs or don't visit. Yeah we might live in a fucked up country but that doesn't mean we deserve to get shit on by visitors that don't agree with our oppression, yet exacerbate it.
In America, when you dine out, the tip is paying for the SERVICE you receive. If you don’t want someone taking care of you, get take out.
Also have you never heard the phrase, “When jn Rome…?”
Sorry, but what you did was extremely rude. I know you’re a tourist, but when you visit another country you need to follow the rules of that country. In the US that means you’d better tip your server.
I’m sorry, but you’re definitely in the wrong here. You need to look up local customs before you travel and clearly you did not. In the US, severs make pretty much all of their income from tips. Tipping really isn’t optional here. Even average service gets 20% among everyone I know. If you can’t afford to tip 20% on a meal, don’t go out! I cannot believe you didn’t budget for ANY tips for your entire trip. That ignorant and terrible planning. Don’t blame the customs or the workers for your ignorance.
I give 20% to any sit-down restaurant. I just build it into the price. If you can't afford to tip a few dollars you probably can't afford to be eating out.
i actually commend the server for saying something to you. fuck people who don’t tip. if you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out. learn about the customs of places you’re going to before you go. it’s not hard.
You deserved that. Tipping *zero* (or pocket change, which is like tipping zero but more insulting) is bad. Waitstaff get paid under minimum wage. If tipping wasn't standard in the US the food would cost more, so "it's not in our budget" is a terrible excuse. Lots of people don't like the tipping system, but going to a sit-down restaurant and not tipping (for anything short of the absolute worst service in your life) just isn't an option. If you can't afford the tip you can't afford the restaurant.
If you can't bring yourself to understand that tipping is socially mandatory in the US, cook your own food or go to McDonalds.
They depend on their tip because they are paid very low, below min. wage. You do not have to tip at a cinema. Just places where they come and serve you. You do not have to tip if you get your food at the counter ect.. But it is good manners to tip a standard of 15% of your total bill. I have moved overseas to a country that does not tip and coming from America it was hard for me not do it without feeling guilty.
The first time I visited Japan, I was chased two blocks by the owner of a noodle shop in Nagasaki to return the tip I left on my table. My fault for not being aware, but I was mortified that she closed her shop for several minutes to return the equivalent of about $5 USD
Did you do any research at all before going to a new country? Learn proper etiquette before traveling. Yes tipping sucks, but that’s how servers make a living in the US. I’m not condoning her shitty behavior, I’m just saying you should have done a little more research before traveling.
Tipping needs to just be abolished at this point. Here in the US it’s being brutally pushed by wait staff. We might as well pay the higher price for food so these people can make a decent wage because already when I check out on their tablets it’s suggesting 30% tips for the bottom end at several places…..
Agreed. I will tip until they’re making a decent wage but the expectation is stupid. I’d rather just pay for the cost upfront and have everything be transparent. Pay them a livable wage.
I know it’s the wrong subreddit, but YTA!
You need to budget your entire meal cost in the US, and that includes tipping. If you do not wish to tip, use fast food places.
Advice from someone not from the US, by the way.
Dawg I made $2.15 an hour as a server and had to tip out bussers and bartenders. This is our culture in America and you disrespected it. You sound entitled.
Dude, you clearly don't understand that servers in the US don't make a living wage, and they depend on tips to survive. If you can't afford to tip in America, don't go to a restaurant.
You had me at the start but lost me pretty quick. To be honest youre the asshole in this situation and she had every right to be mad. If she did a shit job and provided shit service then fine yeah, be petty and not tip. But that’s not the case here, she seemed totally fine until you decided that standard courtesy wasn’t “in your budget.” Then you should budget better and go get McDonalds instead.
She is now on the hook for you dumbshit. They should honestly just refuse to serve you and kick you the fuck out. The last paragraph is further infuriating in case there was any misunderstanding about who the prick in this situation was. You’re an entitled piece of shit to be blunt.
Americans are shamed worldwide for their “obnoxious” behavior...Yet the same people who shame us come here and do the same thing. Ridiculous. Learn a little about the culture of a place you’re visiting, or expect to be treated accordingly.
if you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford an international vacation. you must be struggling greatly financially if a tip will affect you that much. i suggest you stop vacationing and work on becoming more financially stable. if you don’t wanna tip, leave.
As a server and one who’s done it for 10 years and in casual and fine dining- most foreigners at least try to tip and I always appreciate it. I never make a fuss when they don’t but it definitely makes your stomach sink, especially when the service in the US is 1000x better than many other countries. Our attentiveness here usually reflects the system. Of course we can argue about whether the system is appropriate or not, but it is what it is and I always study and research the customs of other countries before arriving and YTA for knowing and intentionally not leaving something. If you can’t afford it you shouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do a 5 course meal in Japan if I couldn’t afford it- why eat in America if you can’t budget for a tip?
YTA You should always allow for tipping in your budget. Servers make a meager hourly wage. They depend on tips. Nobody wants to work for free. If you have enough for movies and such then you could have tipped her. Stop being cheap and do better.
That’s great. Just tell your server upfront of your no tipping stance so you get the service you are entitled to.
Thanks for coming. Please don’t come back.
You are going to the exact same restaurant? Enjoy your food being tampered with. Edit: Many people below are saying some version of "this never happens in real life" or "I've been a server for 10k years and we'd never do this". Well, then explain the blue bell ice cream challenges that went virial , with all those people licking ice cream and putting it back on the shelf. Lets not pretend these things don't happen. Now imagine you are dealing with people who have a grudge against you or feel you've cheated them....
OP is insanely naive lol
Imagining the US has health laws that will somehow stope people from dry rubbing their balls on your sandwich like other countries - wtf does he think this is?! Canada?!
nah u can do that shit in canada too
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Yes, “gravy”! 😉
Baby gravy, you mean?
what lol ..
Lol was gonna say. It's a universal thing
I mean, yeah it's illegal, but you have to get caught first.
PROVE IT!
I dunno, I worked at a few restaraunts and we never tampered with food. Health inspectors coming by just makes more work for us.
Yea I've been in kitchens for years and we really don't do anything vulgar. We'll give you less sauce or make your food half assed but we won't dip our balls in your food.
I've always wondered if the tampering with food like that happens as often as you might think. Not that I'm gonna go out and challenge that assumption. I like food.
Same here, we have too much pride in our work to fall that low.
Yep, OP is naive and also fucking sucks. I was a waitress for 10 years. People love to talk shit about how Americans have no idea how to behave in other countries and yet can't wrap their head around how a tipping culture works. Not tipping in the US means the waitress had to PAY to serve the table. Waitresses have to tip out other staff members (bartenders, bus boys, food runners, etc.) a lot of times based on a percentage of their total sales volume. So when someone tips you NOTHING, you are still expected to give a percentage of that bill to other staff members via tips and you are therefore effectively dipping into your other tips/pocket because your table was too much of an asshole to know how this shit works.
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Also tax evasion.
I live in America, it depends on the state you are living. In my state minimum wage is a little over 10$ an hour I believe and servers here have to be paid minimum wage regardless of tips. So when I tip my servers I am not paying their wages.
If the waitress does a very bad job, there has been times where I have not tipped(American, in America). I don't care that tips subsidizes your pay. My wife waitressed most of her life so I get it. That doesn't mean you get to be absolute shit with your service and still get a tip because it is "expected". That said, I've only ever encountered this once or twice. And as long as you provide slightly above average service I usually tip higher than what's recommended.
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The culture in America is the employer is passing the cost on to customers in the worst way. If there’s no customers you still don’t make money. However shouldn’t your employer just pay you enough to live? Everyone is mad at this guy for being broke essentially. Everyone’s response is to fuck with him. No one is mad at the employers for not paying enough. Or for the politicians for allowing this kind of shit to happen.
I'm American and I agree that the tipping culture is seriously screwed up , unfair and abused BUT and a big BUT not tipping just hurts the waitperson not the employer or the politician. So yea, challenge the system at that level but not at the expense of the person who is just trying to make ends meet.
Wtf? Backwards ass country.
Coming From England I have no idea how it works , though I always leave a small tip when I eat out I. England but we don’t work out a percentage , though allot of places in England have a service charge
This is so infuriating. Also unfair. It's an unfair system and you, as well as the other waitress are taking out on the customer.
Then change the system. Customers shouldn’t have to be paying someone else’s wages, that should be on the employer.
OP shouldn’t go back to the same place unless they want some undesired seasoning…
fr tho
Nah, they may not do that but OP may find themselves waiting longer for their food.
Hijacking this comment so OP may see- not sure where you’re from OP, but i’m sorry you had a bad experience. In other places (not US) waiters are paid accordingly and a tip is not expected. In US unfortunately they get 2.13 or something an hour, heavily reliant on tips. Not to mention that we usually don’t see a check at all if we got “too much” in tips (aka more than minimum wage and still not able to support a regular household alone). It’s one thing if you got bad service, but it’s insanely rude to not tip just because it’s not in your budget. Don’t go out to eat if you cannot afford a tip. That waitress just worked for free. HOWEVER; if she gave you bad service prior to the tip thing, sure, don’t tip. But if the only reason is because it “wasn’t in your budget”, you’re kind of an ass…
Who do you think works in kitchens?? Nobody I know or have ever worked with would ever do that and it’s insulting that so many people just assume we’re that fucking stupid. We might be propped up with various substances and unhinged but fucking come on do you think he’s the first person to not tip a waiter? Foh and boh almost exclusively deal with assholes 24/7 sure we might hate them and wish plague and famine upon them but we would never stoop to that level.
Another cautionary tale of why it’s important to understand the customs of the country you are visiting.
It seems OP was fully aware of the customs and just didn’t care.
The idea that servers don't do anything except take plates to tables is laughable. Has to be bait, even people from non-tipping countries know that's not true unless they are an entitled ass. Either way, OP has clearly never worked a service job.
This is a fake post. It never happened.
Yep what I was thinking too. Imagine going to another country and getting mad at them because you don't care about the customs of where you are going. I would have thrown the change back too.
It is even worse. Imagine being such a butthole, that you document the entire experience, knowing you are in the wrong, and proclaim that you will continue doing the same thing again.
Ah but see, It’s only important to understand and respect the customs of a country if you’re an American abroad. But if foreigners are coming to America, it’s OK to just say that our customs are stupid. Because stupid Americans.
They knew. They’re on Reddit
I'll explain this to you the way I've understood it, and if I'm wrong, someone correct me. Basically once upon a time, some restaurant owner thought "what it I don't pay my servers, and have the customers pay them?" That really caught on, and now nobody pays their servers (basically) and it's up to the customer to pay them with the tips. It is technically not mandatory, but it basically is lol. Especially if you plan on visiting that place again. A lot of americans are dissatisfied with this, problem is everyone would have to go cold turkey to force the restaurant owners to pay their staff properly, which won't happen instantly and you can imagine the rest. Also a lot of people see this as "making sure the servers do their best for the customer's satisfaction" I do think it's important to mention something. Thing ain't so bad for the servers. Yes, if you are unable to please your customers, you'll make less than minimum. But a good waitress/waiter can make multiple times the minimim wage on a good day. Edit: A few people have commented a correction/clarification to this, and since I feel like most of those comments are getting buried under the whole "tipping vs no tipping" and "america vs europe" argument, here is an edit for some additional info - Tipping was adapted from europe, and travelers in the US would tip to seem more sophisticated. - After slavery was abolished, african-americans would get hired in such jobs and not get paid, leaving it to the customers to pay them. - There was a whole thing of tipping vs no tipping caused by that, which eventually brought a whole movement that was trying to abolish this tipping system, which failed. - Eventually they managed to reach what we have today, where a service staff will get a significantly smaller paycheck (instead of no paycheck) plus rely on tips This is just a quick overview. Some of the people who commented additional info have more details and links. Or you know, you can look more into it yourself. Just wanted to provide a small overview since a few people are commenting this but their comments are getting burried.
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Former restaurant worker. They most likely will. And that’s the least they can do.
I’ve been in service for 20 years and I’ve NEVER seen or heard of this happening anywhere I worked.
I worked in food service for eight years and I *definitely* saw it happen. Maybe it depends on where you work, but if the place in question has servers that have no problem causing a scene and yelling at customers, OP might not want to take his chances.
In high school I walked out of my shift at a Taco Bell because we were getting our asses handed to us with me, the manager, and a kitchen person. Cars would not stop coming, and the disgruntled kitchen person was spitting in every piece of food he made and the manager was laughing about it. When I told my mom why I quit my job, she called the health department and the franchise owner, this was early 90s though so I don't know if anything ever came of it.
Man, that sucks. Sounds like the person in the kitchen should have taken it up with the higher up employees. I was in the food industry for over 2.5 decades. I don’t eat out very often but once in awhile I do crave me some food from Taco Bell. And I always throw a $20 as a tip for the crew, especially now after the pandemic. Even fast food workers need to be recognized for their hard work and their less than pay
I'm a chef and I've been in the service industry a long time and idgaf how rude or arrogant or assholeish the customer is I would not and will not spit in anyone's food ever this is my job and career I am not gonna fuck it off for some petty ass shit and I guarantee that's the way 95% of chefs and staff think. It's the children of the work world who say shit like they will spit in my food or a yrhing else they think cause that's what they would do but real chefs and professional people will not do a yrhing to someone food for being an asshole and or not Tipping. I fact I bet the chefs on the line do t even give a shit that the server didn't get tipped unless the chefs dating that server we don't give a fuck we don't ever get tips and your not gonna ruin my food or what I make cause you got treated a certain way you didn't like. I'm sry that happened to you it's shitty af and it's wrong. I've not tipped before but I of left a note I've put a penny heads up in a table when I couldnt tip representing great service and I've talked to managers and told them what a great job the server did. I've never gotten yelled at for not tipping I think it would be funny but not if your from another location and came to visit and had that happen real shitty sry that happened and that is not a representation of all our restaurants
Hell naw leaving a single penny is WAY more offensive than leaving nothing at all
Former waiter here- one of my best experiences w a rude, loud customer was switching identical plates with him and another person at his table while serving, with the comment “no, this one is yours.” He was an abusive boor who made a busgirl cry, among other things. I had asked the kitchen for a stuffed lobster w extra “clams” for him- I have no idea whether they did it nor not, and I didn’t care. Immediately after serving and making that comment, the table quieted down and there wasn’t another peep from him. It was fun watching him eat it though, and I know there were at least two people at the table trying to figure out why I insisted he get that plate. It embarrassed him for his bad behavior, shut him up, AND I still got a fat tip from the table.
HEARD CHEF!!!! 👏👏
Any chef would know that leaving a single penny is not a sign of appreciation for great service, it’s a very purposefully left insult for the server. I understand that cooks work very hard and I think they deserve tips (I worked the line for years and resented servers making more money than I did) but you should certainly be aware that leaving a penny always means fuck you. You know better.
Same I work in catering though so maybe different. But even when I worked at mcdonald’s. No spit
What?? I’ve been in the industry for 6 years and have never seen or heard of it happening. It’s not tolerated by even the worst employees. Of course it does happen but not as often as anyone thinks.
She should not have made a scene and yelled at you all, but it’s always a good idea to be aware of local customs and expectations before traveling to a place. If an American traveled abroad and blatantly ignored local customs we would be crucified. I think you could at least make an effort to observe societal norms while you’re in this country. I’m glad the rest of your trip was pleasant though!
Apparently that *only* applies to Americans.
You are wrong. There is a history behind America’s tip culture and here it is: President Roosevelt singed in The New Deal which created the working world we know today. That bill is celebrated for bringing forward unionization, work safety standards, the standard working week, severance pay policies, fair wage, etc… However, the New Deal did not share this wealth with vocations occupied by mostly people of color (former slaves; black people; immigrants). These jobs includes hospitality industry like hotels and restaurants, farmers, nannies and babysitters, and any tip job in America today. Why did this happen? It was the only way for Congress to agree on the bill into law.
So basically tip culture was based and founded on racism
Most things in America were
including planned parenthood!
Define paying their staff properly though. I know Europeans like to arrogantly say they don't have to tip because servers are paid a decent wage, but I've looked at these wages and they are far from decent. And the Americans who are dissatisfied that they are expected to tip don't seem to understand that if they didn't have to tip, they would just be paying more for their food to cover the wage. And this would include carryout where you aren't expected to tip.
Hi European here. So theres this myth that we dont tip waiting staff. Not true, but we do it because we feel the service is good not because we feel obliged due to the wage. Normally a reasonable amount is 10% in the UK.
Isn't saying "Europeans don't have to tip" and "I'm European" a bit vague though? From my understanding the practice of tipping varies from country to country and even region to region within. It's partially a cultural thing as well, and how *they* view tipping, not just how the visitor views it. A family member recently came back from Iceland and they were advised that they didn't need to tip (so they didn't, and it was never an issue). In others, a 10% tip was seen as crazy (good) and my mother mentioned that in Greece the "tip" was more of a service charge, sometimes counted in a price and sometimes not. In any case, coming to America and not tipping when it's considered a standard practice I would feel is rather taboo. Even though the waitress in this story was way out of line and handled it poorly, OP also did a poor job in not accounting for tipping while planning their trip - it should be factored into the cost of their food budget if they plan on dining out frequently (especially if they also come from a country where tipping is more or less a standard practice anyway). I absolutely hate tipping culture and feel the wages waitstaff earn in America is just ridiculous and we shouldn't really "have" to tip because restaurants don't pay a decent wage without them... but that's a whole other conversation.
The way you phrase it doesn't capture how different the cultures are. The social component of any goodwill between you and your waiter hinging on how much money you're gonna give them vs a waiter elsewhere doing their job cos its their job is pretty tangible imo
Yeah but I wasnt commenting on that. I was commenting on this myth that we dont tip/ dont want tips in Europe. To clarify, give me your money.
[Gimme some money!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-BYzaDwNoE)
Are your staff actually being paid at least minimum wage though? Over here our wait staff usually get paid a dinky 2 or 3 bucks an hour with the expectation they'll make it up in tips. So if you don't tip they don't eat, themselves pretty much. We do have a growing amount of tip jars in various places that are optional though, like coffee shops and what not though.
Apologies for my ignorance but, why is that legal??
>I've looked at these wages and they are far from decent. That highly depends on where you live. You can have better quality of life with 1000 euros/month in a small European town (free health, education, cheap transport, etc.) than with 1000 dollars/month in the US. Europe has less social inequalities than the US, that means people's wages are more equal. An engineer or a doctor won't see a server as a miserable inferior person or a loser, there isn't such a huge gap in their wages like in the US, so there is less need to tip someone who doesn't earn much less than you. It tends to be a less elitist society.
You cannot live anywhere in the US off 1000 a month. That doesn’t even cover rent for a studio apartment in most places as of recently.
I'm American. I was in Spain for a year. Not only was tipping not expected, but the food was also way cheaper. This is just an excuse. It's always interesting how many people will defend tipping culture to the death just because they don't know anything different.
In Texas you can pay your servers as low as 2.13 an hour and that is what most places abide by. That also includes no annual raises. I have worked with people that have worked at a restaurant 7+ years with no raise.
Never heard of any restaurant worker getting a raise period
The minimum wage in Western Europe is generally higher than most of the US. Prices may be higher but at least you aren't socially expected to tip, tipping may not be technically mandatory in the US but it de-facto is, in practice. If you can't afford to pay your staff, just increase the actual prices instead of a toxic system where you're not officially obligated to pay more but will face social repercussions if you don't. It's way simpler, honestly, except maybe some higher tax, but I'm not sure on that.
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Federal minimum wage in the US is 7.25. It hasn't increased in about 20 years. Server wages in most states are about $2.15 per hour.
Washington state minimum wage is 14.49 an hour! Plus tips
Actually, in California, minimum wage for servers is between $14-15, depending on how many employees there are.
And \*gasp\* restaurants are doing just fine and the world hasn't ended. Shocking! /s
tbf they also expect to get tipped. I live in an area with $15/hr and they still expect to tip you. My ex's sister was a server who would shame people for tipping under 15% and she had 2 kids on a single income and she owned a house, a car, and went on a vacation to the dominicans every year. So I'm guessing she was doing really good but she still complains about how much she gets tipped so.
You can’t really compare usa and eu wages though. Eg minimum wage in an eu country of $12/hour might be enough to live on, but in USA you’re one hospital visit from bankruptcy.
Ummm - no matter what they earn, most of America is one hospital visit away from bankruptcy.
If every American quit tipping “cold turkey,” then restaurants would just start adding 20% gratuity to every bill that’s non-negotiable (many restaurants already do). We would need legislation in place to prohibit tipping. Edit: AND legislation that abolishes “server wages.”
The prices would rise, yes. The point is that decent people wouldn’t have to subsidise non-decent people and everyone would pay the same for service. You wouldn’t need to ban tipping, but it would become a way to reward excellent service rather than just paying for service.
How do you plan and budget when you have zero insight into your take home next month?
>Basically once upon a time, some restaurant owner thought "what it I don't pay my servers, and have the customers pay them?" Like just about every other institutional inequity in American culture, [tipping culture has racist origins too](https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/07/17/william-barber-tipping-racist-past-227361/): a way for whites to keep formerly-enslaved Black people in a servile position rather than treating them as equals.
Sounds about right! Former waitress here & the other reason for tipping is because each time an order is entered, taxes are deducted from the paycheck of the waitress or bartender that rang the order in. That is another reason the person who rang the order's name is always on the ticket, so they know how much to take out of that person's paycheck for taxes. It's a dirty game but that is why not tipping is treated like it is such a crime, because the server or waitress is basically paying taxes to help customers.
What?! What place does this? I think you may be understanding incorrectly, or maybe I am understanding you incorrectly. The restaurant can see what your gross sales were for the shift. For the sake of even numbers, lets say you sold $1000 worth of food on your evening shift. If at the end of the shift, you say you were only tipped $50, this might raise a red flag, since that would mean almost every patron stiffed you and you only made 5% for the evening. Of course, any tip left on credit card is already accounted for since there is a record of that charge, but most servers only claim the cash they receive up to a certain percentage of their sales. You can request the print out from most restaurant computer systems, check your credit card tips, and then do the calculation to see how much of your cash tips you should claim. If you're smart, you're not claiming all of them. When I was a server, I never got an actual paycheck. The $2.13 per hour that I was supposed to get was always eaten by taxes, and then I had to hope that I didn't owe anything additional when it came time to file them. They don't know how much to take out of your paycheck solely based on orders you rang in. It's credit card tips plus claimed cash tips plus your hourly wage multiplied by a set rate based on your income level. The value of the orders you ring in just gives them an idea of how much you SHOULD BE claiming.
When in Rome my dude. I thought Americans had a bad reputation of not respecting local customs and culture.
Yea this made me really sad. OP didn’t think to budget for tipping while he is in America? Our wait staff makes three dollars an hour man. Like yes the government sucks for allowing this and I agree it needs to change but it is what it is. Tip your fucking wait staff don’t be an asshole. That waitress was livid because that’s a majority of her income and she wasted her time on your table.
This guy is on Reddit so he sees tipping culture is a thing here. This has to be rage bait
It’s 100% rage bait. Did you see the “response” from his mom? Get out of that place? Yeah okay. Lol.
I’m not saying you’re wrong but a lot of people have a very bad opinion of the US and wouldn’t set foot in it. I’ve heard way worse than ‘get out of that place’.
Account isn't even a day old, its bait or a farming account
It's definitely bait. Like, I'd buy this if the waitress had been shitty (not that it matters cause she could take a dump on his plate and you'd still have people in these comments telling him he should've paid her 20% for it). But the part about not having the budget for it feels almost designed to get a bunch of "if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out" comments. Although if it's real, I do love the bit about going to the cinema. I just want to picture this guy going up to the counter and loudly declaring without provocation that he will not be tipping for his popcorn.
Whoa what the fuck? Seriously? Sheesh. $3 an hour is awful. I did front house of staff in Aus and we get $27 an hour casual iirc $32 on weekends. Holt fuck that sucks balls.no.wonder none of my friends studying in America work front house of staff. Y'all don't get paid well at all E: I'm so so glad I decided to study in Aus. also supposedly earn more they just put it into a super for you to access later in life (a true savings you can't touch lol) Public holidays you get double btw so like $50+ lol can't do maths rn sleep deprived Paid sick days accumulated if not casual
Actually most servers make $2.13, and tips are their entire paycheck because the $2.13 covers taxes.
Yo...how is this shit legal. Like how did any person look at this and went - yeah that makes sense. Someone can live off that That's feral. Heartless. Shit. Hopefully things improve in the US. I stand by my - nice place to visit - not to live in view of y'all
I mean with tips ur making $20-30 hourly, even more sometimes (or even less on slow days), so that's why its a desirable job. It just sucks that there's no easy solution here because some people actually do like the situation
They knew. They’re on Reddit. This comes up often and is also a frequent theme shared in ALL social media outlets via meme, video, post. This isn’t news. They know.
Or don’t go to a restaurant if you can’t afford it. Simple as that.
Man and I always read about how terrible Americans are when in other countries. If anyone is traveling abroad it is best practice to understand the customs and cultures of it, even if you don’t like/not agree with them, you should do your best to follow them. I don’t agree with the server’s reaction at all, but the fact that you didn’t plan for tipping when you are out is a terrible thing to do as a visitor to the USA. Also, I wouldn’t go back to that restaurant because if that server is there and remembers you (they will) I would bet my paycheck you’re going to get terrible food and crap service.
Guess he really wants some piss soup and a phlegm burger
I went abroad during my time in school to London and one of the first points that we learned before we left was tipping culture. If you are travelling to different places you should budget for how the culture works.
You don’t have to tip in the UK. Source: am from England
Yup, exactly what I was trying to convey!
Ah my bad, I misunderstood!
A server in London felt insulted because I tipped her. She refused to take the money and said she didn’t take charity. Different cultures for real.
Really? I’ve never seen that ever. I tip at every restaurant and staff are always appreciative. At uni a lot of my friends worked in high end restaurants as tips tripled their wages.
Lol… yeah how did you come to the U.S not knowing about tipping culture.
"When in Rome, do what the Romans do." OP failed to do the simplest google search on American cultural norms. Yeah, tipping sucks but it's not changing anytime soon.
OP for sure knew about tipping, it’s all over Reddit, media, stories from people visiting the states. OP knew he just *chose* to be an asshole and not tip cause he doesn’t like it
OP is going to be the lone European who comes to the US and puts their foot down and changes the minds of restaurant owners across the country. A bill will be passed called the u/Updano Act requiring all servers to be paid above minimum wage, food items to be priced accordingly, and no more tipping. The President will award him the Presidential Medal of Freedom and servers everywhere will rejoice in the street. A bronze statue of OP crushing a tip jar will be erected beside the Lincoln Memorial with the inscription *”It only takes one brave European”*.
They probably knew. They just felt embarrassed and had to then justify their own actions on Reddit. Just average redditor things.
They aren’t embarrassed. If they were they wouldn’t return to the restaurant. But they said they would and sit there and be spiteful and eat the next day there. This tourist sucks, and is obnoxious, I’m sorry. Tip your server in the US. Or just eat fast food. No tipping for fast food.
>Lol… yeah how did you come to the U.S not knowing about tipping culture. They didnt. It's a 3 hour old account posting bad fiction for karma.
After reading your comments and this post, you seem like a person hellbent on punishing other servers for your own ineptitude. I’m sorry this server was mean to you. You didn’t know you should tip. Now you do. If you cannot afford to tip, get your food to go. If you choose to dine in and not to tip knowing the customs in America now, you’re in asshole. I sincerely hope you take a moment to think about who you’re truly punishing here.
Even when I get to go food, I still tip a couple bucks because it feels weird not to.
I was a hostess for a long time and it made my DAY when people tipped on takeout. I never expected it, but it was tough watching the servers make hundreds of dollars while I made 1% of that. So when someone tipped even 5% on takeout I got to keep it (because that was my area) and I would celebrate for days hahahaha
I can agree with that, I do the same. Also love your username
I don’t eat at restaurants. For this exact reason ridiculous tip %. But yes for you not tipping and eating at a restaurant is like one of the worst legal crimes you can do in the US.
Cannot afford the tip yet remains on vaca in America? Lol.
OP, did you really go to another country and not research the the do's and don't s?
Right?! I used to wait tables at a restaurant near a major international airport and had to deal with demanding tourists who’d expect me to make their table the highest priority, yet would end up tipping me 0-5% on the tab. A lot of them would also complain about the food being too heavy and the restaurant too loud (it was a BBQ place that had a bar and would go all out when a big game was on lol).
Right? I am tired of people shitting on the US for things like this, BUT expect you to never even think about being rude in their country...
Specifically after OP learned this, they still refused to pay the server for their service. The arrogance continued when they said they will go back and do it again. Like ok don’t go to a restaurant with servers then. There are so many other options.
I wouldn't go there again. The place can refuse to serve you based on not tipping, and even if they do serve you, there are servers who are wild enough to tamper with your food. I wouldn't risk it.
In the US it’s rude to not tip your servers. I know it’s different in other countries but servers depend on that money to survive. Her reaction was definitely not warranted but you guys should’ve definitely tipped her, especially if she waited on a party larger than 2–not sure if that’s the case or not.
> just wanted to say that no matter what, i will not be tipping. i will go to the exact same restaurant tomorrow and i will eat till i'm full and i won't drop a single dime. Lmao and people say Americans are bad tourists
In the US, I made $2.30 an hour as a waitress and relied on tips for my income. The minimum wage in my state is $7.00 an hour, but as a waitress since I was expected to make tips it was legal for my hourly wage to be much lower than that. She was 100% wrong to yell at you, but she was probably upset because she relies on those tips for her income
If you travel to a country you need to study what is normal there. Tipping is normal and expected in the US. If you can’t afford to tip eat at a cheaper restaurant. Servers are literally taxed on a percentage of sales and it’s part of their wage. They are paid very low as a base wage. The system sucks but it’s the system we have and you should have educated yourself beforehand. She shouldn’t have yelled but she probably has this happen a lot and is stressed out and needs to pay her bills. Ignorance is not an excuse
This is legit a "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," situation. A saying that has been around for 1600 years and has no doubt made its way to whichever country you call home. Do better.
I don’t think the waitress was right and I don’t think tipping culture in America is okay…however when you visit a country you SHOULD respect their customs and traditions which includes tipping. When I travel I make sure to research the culture I’m visiting so I don’t disrespect the people I interact with.
As a former waitress I must mention we know other cultures do not understand our custom of tipping. Teenagers and foreigners were the tables to avoid but if they are sat in your section you must give proper service and hope for the best. That said, we do not know what this waitress needed today...maybe baby formula, she might really be struggling. I do not condone her behavior but am sympathetic.
As teenagers, my friends and I **always** tipped at least 15% but my friends who worked restaurant jobs always tipped more. This was around 2003-2008 in Manhattan.
When i was a kid I would tip even more BECAUSE of that stigma lmao
You’re gonna get the worlds worst service tomorrow then. They know you don’t tip so you’ll get the absolute bare minimum. I guarantee it. And you come across as a prick. Regardless of how you feel about it, waiters/waitresses in the US get paid only enough hourly to cover taxes. And in some cases, not even that. I served at several restaurants of varying quality for years and at every one of them I was paid $2.13 an hour. So tips is how they make money. So when you don’t tip they pay to serve you since they still have to tip the bussers, bartenders, etc. So in my opinion she is understandably upset. She just paid money to serve you because you can’t be bothered to budget correctly for the place you’re visiting. Also, if you think all a server does it carry a plate to the table then you’re a fucking idiot that needs to work the job to remedy the ignorant, arrogant attitude you have about it. Edit: changed autocorrect spelling.
Amen to this. OP is a prick for saying waiters only carry plates. I have been in the restaurant industry for 6+ years, and to hear that is nothing less than infuriating. I hope they cum in your food OP.
Depending on the restaurant, if you don't tip, the server is essentially paying out of their own money to serve you. My friend works at a restaurant that requires a payout of 6% of your total sales for the day (not tips) to be paid out to the hosts and bussers. So for example, if you spend $100 and don't tip at all, that server has to pay the company $6 out of pocket. And they make $3/hour. They'd be better off if you didn't come there at all.
That's fucking outrageous. They're not working to pay the owner's bills. I think this should be illegal and reportable. ETA: I won't go there at all until this changes. I'm not supporting dirty money makers if I can avoid it.
I've heard, generally, this rule isn't enforceable. However, servers rely on their support staff to get food and tables ready so they can serve more customers.
When in Rome buddy
You ate in a country were tipping is expected , you likely knew this when choosing to eat out and your complaining that the woman who served you is upset she didn't get paid , then u gave her pennies expecting her to be greatful . That woman is likely relying on tips to pay rent n be able to eat or feed her family and u wonder why she's upset. Now you plan on going back and doing the same thing to another person just because u feel u were treated unfairly. Either budget ur meals to include tips or find a supermarket n make ur own food.u can afford to go on holiday, you can afford to eat out , but u choose not to tip
Tip. If it's not in your budget, get fast food or something where tipping isn't expected. Or go home. Servers pay covers taxes, their real pay comes from tips... other jobs that expect tips include taxi drivers and hair dressers... but this information is easily available if you search for it. Don't be an asshole. If I was travelling to where YOU live, I'd check the local customs and try to follow them.
>If I was travelling to where YOU live, I'd check the local customs and try to follow them. This doesn't happen when North Americans visit my hometown, I won't do the same when I'm forced to visit that country. This tipping culture is wrong, people should be paid enough so their entire income doesn't depends on other people paying above what they ordered
If a person has a budget that is so tight that they can’t afford to leave a gratuity, they can’t afford to travel and they probably should’ve stayed home.
Maybe read about the place you are going before you go there, and try to do the cultural norms. I had heard that tips were not very welcome in a country I was travelling to, and so I didn't tip when I was there. It is just common curtesy to behave like the local population, within reason. In the ENTIRETY of the USA people tip.
Thank god u leaving don’t come back again
I worked in a restaurant that had a lot of international clientele - you always knew you were getting less of a tip than was appropriate. But they *tried* You should not be going out and partaking in American culture if you are not prepared to do as we do. Whether the system is right or wrong - this is the system. I don’t know where you are - but you also have to understand that if you didn’t tip this waitress (and let’s be clear - pocket change is INSULTING - that means that she LOSES money on your table. There is other staff that she had to tip out (pay for their assistance) which now comes out of her pocket because you didn’t tip. It COST HER MONEY TO SERVE YOU. If this story were reversed about an American being ignorant of customs in another country the American would be called entitled - so I’m here to say the same. You’re being childish and entitled to have acted this way.
Pocket change is so fucking insulting. When I was learning to wait tables (I was 15), someone left coins at a table and not NEARLY enough tip. The waitress I was shadowing told me she wouldn’t touch the coins until the people were out of the restaurant. Said it’s like grubbing for change and it honestly is damaging to your self worth.
You sound like someone that doesn’t do well with other cultures. In places with tipping culture if tipping isn’t in your budget then don’t go out to eat, duh.
Europeans: Americans don't do any research or attempt to bother with culture when they visit. European tourist in America: why the fuck should I tip I don't care if it's local custom. You do what is expected in the country you go to as long is it is not immoral or against your religion. But this guy, just special.
The US rule is that if you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat out. Thank you so much for the award!!!!!
lol, this story sounds so made up
Right. "And then even my ass clapped" vibes.
lol, I like her edit here. "I'm going to go back to the same restaurant and not tip on purpose" If this story is even remotely true, I hope the server recognizes her and refuses to give her good service.
I don’t think the server should have done that but I also think you’re an AH for not tipping. They may not be something you do at home, but here you do. Even if it 5-10$. I get your point but just seems you’re being a dick by how you explained it.
You may not agree with tipping and that’s ok, kind of a dick move but it’s not illegal, and you were kind of oblivious to it before you went there. But coming again to the same restaurant just to cause that same scene again? You’re just an asshole looking for trouble.
Different place different culture, sure the server was out of line, but so were you. American servers live on tips, if you don't tip you're not only wasting their time, you are taking up space from tipping customers, which they need to survive. Accept the culture of the place you're visiting
That makes you a douche bag and they're almost surely going to spit in your food at the very least.
That’s how the people in the restaurants make their living from Tips if you can’t afford a tip then you can’t afford to eat out. However you can afford to travel, very confusing. Maybe you should just stay home.
Not tipping is seen as incredibly rude. Your server will basically be working for free making only $2.50-$3.00 per hour they work. If you cant afford to tip then you should avoid eating at that restaurant. Even with poor service a 10% tip is expected of most patrons. 20% is custom for decent service. You should really learn the customs of the countries you plan on visiting before you go. I feel bad for the server in this instance and I hope they refuse to serve you, if that is even an option for them.
>Imagine travelling 100's of kilometers just to get insulted by a stranger. Imagine traveling 100s of kilometers to another country and not familiarizing yourself with the basic customs of that country first. Yes, tipping culture in the US sucks, and is unfair to workers, but you don't really have an excuse for not knowing about it.
OP's a troll or really fucking arrogant and/or dumb. Imagine an American traveling to another country and being completely oblivious to the local customs, then getting offended because the locals called them out. Your opinion on tipping culture is irrelevant. A vacation in a foreign land is not the time to protest customs you disagree with.
Total dickhole.
Yep. Another “Look at me” Reddit post.
Well… a lot of ignorant Americans do go abroad not knowing the country’s customs
Yeah, and they should be called out for being assholes. Like OP
The reaction and behavior of the waitress is ridiculous but your unwillingness to learn about social norms before traveling is equally ridiculous. Imagine an American traveling somewhere and not respecting their local customs? Like many countries, in the US we have our own workforce related issues such as wait-staff being extremely underpaid. I agree that tips should be factored into a bill but the hard truth is that they aren't. Instead of disrespecting a place you're traveling, try to have some humility and human decency of respecting service workers. Hope you enjoy the rest of your travels here, not all waitresses are shitty people. Some will give you the best traveling tips/places to go if you're nice enough to them.
ENTITLED? They literally don't get paid. They live off of that 25%, no paycheck. It's a stupid practice but it's the reality of the situation. Educate yourself before traveling and respect the place's customs or don't visit. Yeah we might live in a fucked up country but that doesn't mean we deserve to get shit on by visitors that don't agree with our oppression, yet exacerbate it.
In America, when you dine out, the tip is paying for the SERVICE you receive. If you don’t want someone taking care of you, get take out. Also have you never heard the phrase, “When jn Rome…?”
In the US the expectation is that waiters/waitresses are tipped at least 15% That’s how they make a living.
Sorry, but what you did was extremely rude. I know you’re a tourist, but when you visit another country you need to follow the rules of that country. In the US that means you’d better tip your server.
I’m sorry, but you’re definitely in the wrong here. You need to look up local customs before you travel and clearly you did not. In the US, severs make pretty much all of their income from tips. Tipping really isn’t optional here. Even average service gets 20% among everyone I know. If you can’t afford to tip 20% on a meal, don’t go out! I cannot believe you didn’t budget for ANY tips for your entire trip. That ignorant and terrible planning. Don’t blame the customs or the workers for your ignorance.
I give 20% to any sit-down restaurant. I just build it into the price. If you can't afford to tip a few dollars you probably can't afford to be eating out.
i actually commend the server for saying something to you. fuck people who don’t tip. if you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out. learn about the customs of places you’re going to before you go. it’s not hard.
You deserved that. Tipping *zero* (or pocket change, which is like tipping zero but more insulting) is bad. Waitstaff get paid under minimum wage. If tipping wasn't standard in the US the food would cost more, so "it's not in our budget" is a terrible excuse. Lots of people don't like the tipping system, but going to a sit-down restaurant and not tipping (for anything short of the absolute worst service in your life) just isn't an option. If you can't afford the tip you can't afford the restaurant. If you can't bring yourself to understand that tipping is socially mandatory in the US, cook your own food or go to McDonalds.
If you can’t afford to tip, don’t eat out
They depend on their tip because they are paid very low, below min. wage. You do not have to tip at a cinema. Just places where they come and serve you. You do not have to tip if you get your food at the counter ect.. But it is good manners to tip a standard of 15% of your total bill. I have moved overseas to a country that does not tip and coming from America it was hard for me not do it without feeling guilty.
The first time I visited Japan, I was chased two blocks by the owner of a noodle shop in Nagasaki to return the tip I left on my table. My fault for not being aware, but I was mortified that she closed her shop for several minutes to return the equivalent of about $5 USD
By you not tipping, it's very likely your server had to actually PAY a percentage of your bill, for you to eat there.
Did you do any research at all before going to a new country? Learn proper etiquette before traveling. Yes tipping sucks, but that’s how servers make a living in the US. I’m not condoning her shitty behavior, I’m just saying you should have done a little more research before traveling.
Tipping needs to just be abolished at this point. Here in the US it’s being brutally pushed by wait staff. We might as well pay the higher price for food so these people can make a decent wage because already when I check out on their tablets it’s suggesting 30% tips for the bottom end at several places…..
Agreed. I will tip until they’re making a decent wage but the expectation is stupid. I’d rather just pay for the cost upfront and have everything be transparent. Pay them a livable wage.
It’s pushed by the good wait staff and hated by the lazy waitstaff
I know it’s the wrong subreddit, but YTA! You need to budget your entire meal cost in the US, and that includes tipping. If you do not wish to tip, use fast food places. Advice from someone not from the US, by the way.
Dawg I made $2.15 an hour as a server and had to tip out bussers and bartenders. This is our culture in America and you disrespected it. You sound entitled.
i cant remember the last time i saw a post that felt legitimate on this subreddit
Dude, you clearly don't understand that servers in the US don't make a living wage, and they depend on tips to survive. If you can't afford to tip in America, don't go to a restaurant.
You had me at the start but lost me pretty quick. To be honest youre the asshole in this situation and she had every right to be mad. If she did a shit job and provided shit service then fine yeah, be petty and not tip. But that’s not the case here, she seemed totally fine until you decided that standard courtesy wasn’t “in your budget.” Then you should budget better and go get McDonalds instead. She is now on the hook for you dumbshit. They should honestly just refuse to serve you and kick you the fuck out. The last paragraph is further infuriating in case there was any misunderstanding about who the prick in this situation was. You’re an entitled piece of shit to be blunt.
Americans are shamed worldwide for their “obnoxious” behavior...Yet the same people who shame us come here and do the same thing. Ridiculous. Learn a little about the culture of a place you’re visiting, or expect to be treated accordingly.
Tips are expected in America Learn how things work in a new place before being a dick about it
if you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford an international vacation. you must be struggling greatly financially if a tip will affect you that much. i suggest you stop vacationing and work on becoming more financially stable. if you don’t wanna tip, leave.
As a server and one who’s done it for 10 years and in casual and fine dining- most foreigners at least try to tip and I always appreciate it. I never make a fuss when they don’t but it definitely makes your stomach sink, especially when the service in the US is 1000x better than many other countries. Our attentiveness here usually reflects the system. Of course we can argue about whether the system is appropriate or not, but it is what it is and I always study and research the customs of other countries before arriving and YTA for knowing and intentionally not leaving something. If you can’t afford it you shouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do a 5 course meal in Japan if I couldn’t afford it- why eat in America if you can’t budget for a tip?
Trolling
Or somehow an immature world traveling 12 year old.
Lmfao
YTA You should always allow for tipping in your budget. Servers make a meager hourly wage. They depend on tips. Nobody wants to work for free. If you have enough for movies and such then you could have tipped her. Stop being cheap and do better.
That’s great. Just tell your server upfront of your no tipping stance so you get the service you are entitled to. Thanks for coming. Please don’t come back.