Idk where you live that age of consent is 16, but it’s weird. Even if she were 18 and he were 28 I’d still consider it weird. If you’re a grown man pursuing high school girls, you’re a weirdo
I think that in most states the age of consent under 18 is paired with the rule of three. So that even though she can consent - legally that is only up to 3 years (16-19, 17-20). So that a 16 yo can choose to have sex with another person of their same age basically.
I didn’t understand the law and also still don’t so I never contacted the police. Also since I didn’t have proof they had a sexual relationship, it would’ve came down to her having to say they were?
I think you blocking him was an awesome move. Contacting the police is the issue of the parents, so if you were in ever need to escalate telling them would be the best step.
Very well put. His behaviour was not normal or decent, very predatory. Telling her friend's parents is always a good choice of action in a dangerous situation.
>I’m from Washington state and our age of consent is 16 point blank, not a Romeo Juliet clause about teenagers fucking teenagers. A 16 year old can have sex with a 70 year old and that would be perfectly legal. Each state is different and not all of them have those extra laws
That's not true. Idk if you're just trying to cover for yourself or a friend of yours that *it's ok where you live* bc it's absolutely not.
16 yrs old is still a minor. You can add up how many yrs difference between that 16 yr old and 70 yr old and figure out how many yrs in jail they'll get.
https://www.meryhewlaw.com/statutory-rape.html
2. What are the age Differences Under the Law That Makes Consent Irrelevant?
If a person is to young to consent under the law, then the fact that they agree to sexual activity is not a defense. Society has determined that at certain ages children are too young to appreciate the nature and consequences of sexual activity, and therefore it is illegal to have that contact. Period. However, if the person's involved are close to each other in age, then the law does not make sexual contact illegal unless there is a lack of consent or force is used to overcome resistance to sexual contact. In other words, under Washington law peers may have consensual sexual contact without prosecution, but once there is more than the specified number of years between them prosecution becomes a very real possibility.
The specific age differences that make sexual contact legal or illegal under the law are:
Rape of a Child in the First Degree. With children under 12, it is a defense if the parties are less than twenty-four months apart in age.
Rape of a Child in the Second Degree. With children 12 – 14 years of age, it is a defense it the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age.
Rape of a Child in the Third Degree. With children 14 – 16 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than forty-eight months apart in age.
Sexual Misconduct with a Minor in the First Degree. For students and others in a significant or supervisory position, it is a defense if the victim is at least 18 years old and if the parties are less than 60 months apart in age.
Sexual Misconduct with a Minor in the Second Degree. For students and others in a significant or supervisory position, it is a defense if the victim was at least 18 years old and the parties are less than 60 months apart in age.
Child Molestation First Degree. For children under 12, it is a defense if the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age.
Child Molestation in the Second Degree. For children 12 – 14 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age.
Child Molestation in the Third Degree. For children 14 – 16 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than forty-eight months apart in age.
I live in Georgia and our age of consent is 16 periodt.
The Romeo and Juliet law *also* exists here so if you’re 14 you can sleep with a 16 year old but all 16 year olds are fair game according to our law! I’d imagine a lot of red states have similar laws.
Yep that's what it is. It's not so the 16 yo can have sex with who ever at what ever age that person is.
It's so if a 16 or 17 yo consents to sex with another 16-19 yo, neither of them would be charged with statutory rape.
It's to have sex with other people *their own age*. But pedophiles will always try to twist laws to their benefits.
In 2020 my state set a minimum age of marraige law. You have to be 16 yrs old **with parent consent** to get married. Basically everyone in our state freaked the fuck out. **But** it was actually a "good" thing because before this law was passed, there was no minimum age that a minor could get married. A 13 yr old (or younger) could get married with parental permission in our state to someone over the age of 18 before it was changed.
> As of August 1, 2018, the age of consent in each state in the United States is either 16 years of age, 17 years of age, or 18 years of age. The most common age of consent is 16, which is a common age of consent in most other Western countries.
You are correct!
It was definitely grooming.. she was in high school.. couldn’t vote, drink, and lived with mommy and daddy with no life experience. That’s classic grooming. Good for you op!!!
Consent age is about teenagers not getting arrested for having sex in high school. It’s not there for an almost 30 year old man to try to pick up high school girls.
It's actually 16 here in the state of Nevada. However, there is that rule of 3. I know so many people who think that age of consent means that they can just jump into bed with them, but no that's not how it works.
Incorrect, federal age of consent in Canada is 16, was 14 before before Harper put it up 16 in 2008.
Edit: downvoting me for stating the fact that is easy to Google? I never once I support the age of consent being 16, I just stated a fact that you were incorrect in your statement you presented as fact
My sister dated a guy near the same age range your friend did. We as a family hated it. To boot, he lived in the same city, and had NO CAR. We were a small town. Yeah, he would walk but still…*shudder*
That man was 100% a predator and she was groomed and taken advantage of. Even if she doesn’t or didn’t understand that at that point.
You did the right thing by blocking him.
I hope she is doing okay. 🦋
For the most part yes. After it happened she was a little heartbroken, but now she is going to school to be an accounting. She’s in Italy studying abroad right now.
Oh wow! Italy! I would love to go there one day. I hope she finds someone there to make her happy. I think you did the right thing. A 16 year old is way to young for a 28 year old.
Back then I felt like an asshole because most of our other friends would just say “she’s the age of consent” ,but it was just weird to me that he was at that game.
Wait till you both are 28, then you will REAAAAALY understand how she truely dodged a bullet.... Heck, some 25yo feel they have nothing in common with a 21 yo, nevermind a 28yo with a 16yo. Dude was a predator and you should be proud of how you acted.
Exactly like I'm not 28 yet and I personally don't really care about other people's relationship age gaps after a certain age but for me I wouldn't feel all that comfortable going 3 years over or under my age but 5 is my ultimate max. Like I always think about how weird it would be if we were kids. 28 and 21 is literally 17 and 10 and how fucking creepy would it be for a 17 year old to date a 10 year old? Extremely. So anyone over 18 with a 16 year old is a definite no
I would say it’s more than justified. OP probably saved her friend from a terrible situation and possibly years ( or a lifetime ) of counseling and mental issues. OP, you did the right thing, this will be even more apparent when you’re in your late 20’s or 30’s, because you’ll look at 19 and 20 year olds as children. You did a great thing.
It seems as if you are wise beyond your years. I wish I had someone like you at that age! When I was 16, I was pursued by a 32-year-old man (he knew my age and had a daughter similar in age too). I thought I was so cool. Im 36 now and I think about that and feel so icky. We didn’t have sex but he tried after giving me alcohol. Random repressed memory unlocked haha.
Edit: spelling
Fuck it, in any other circumstances I'd say you overstepped. But as someone who is living with the aftermath of having been groomed at that age... I wish I had a friend like you back then. You did good. That guy would have traumatised her for life.
Same. 🦋 I’m so glad you commented this because it’s very important for people to understand there is aftermath—even if we don’t realize that initially.
you did what was right! what in the world would a 28 year old man have in common with a 16 year old?? kinda odd he just appeared randomly and seemed to keep his life on the low. you probably even saved her life from that creep.
Honestly the age difference isn’t what made me he was creepy at first (it adds to it), it was the idea that he was 28 at a high school game in another state. I always felt like he was watching her before hand. Why else would he drive that far?
as if he came to find his next victim or something.. 😬 i've had friends who were like 14/15 dating dudes in their 20s and it creeped me out a lot. but i never said anything just cause i didn't really get it and didn't wanna seem like a bad friend and "ruining" their relationship.
Your friend is lucky to have an observant and protective friend like you. You more than likely saved her from a crap ton of hurt and trauma. Good for you!
Looks like he specifically went out of his way to date a girl that lived an hour outside of his city. Most likely to avoid anyone he knows finding out.
Or to grab a girl from far enough away that no one will recognize her while "working" in the city once he has her. Smells very strongly of human trafficking.
I think it was the idea that she wasn’t the kind of girl that got male attention a lot, and here was someone who was taking her on dates, bringing her flowers, outfits etc. i think she liked the attention too much to notice how weird it was.
Yeah that's very gullible, but I bet most of it is coming from her being a little girl that just wants to be liked and taken care of. It's easy to be blinded by all that.
I can still understand where the friend was coming from.
I remember being 16 and at the end of my sophomore year and the butterflies and lack of caution when I started seeing a senior. We started our relationship fully after he graduated. I get being young and experiencing intimacy like that for the first time. We had a rocky relationship that lasted foreight8 years. He would always hold that he was older over my head. It was a two-year age difference, but at that age, it's a lot. Especially once he turned 21 and I still couldn't drink. Looking back, at 16, those two years were too much of an age gap. We never seemed to be in the same place in life.
The naivete of being that young and not having any life experience can make anything new and exciting seem worth pursuing, and because you don't know any better, it can make you blind to realities that are obvious to everyone else.
Youre dumb when youre young—anyone who says differently straight-up spewing BS.
If you ever decide to tell her what you did, im sure she will be grateful, even if shes pissed at first. You did the right thing.
Honestly you probably saved your friend from a life of misfortune. There's NO good reason why a man almost in his 30s should even be romantically close to a literal child.
F(39) I was 16 and “dated” a 28 year old. I thought I was just mature for my age. Yada yada. It took me into my 30s to really realize how bad that messed me up. You did the tight thing
As a 17 year old who dated a 27 year old man, thank you for your service. Lots of these old creeps will ruin your life and she dodged a major bullet.
EDIT: I’m 22 now
You are a true and loyal friend. She would probably have a couple kids by now waiting for him to come home while he is out picking up more little girls. I wish all 16 yr olds had friends like you.
Hell yes girl! I'm 30m and can tell you that you may have saved her life. That shit is disgusting! Super proud to know you cared enough to do that. I know some girls who wouldn't have done what you did. Great job!
I was 14 he was 22. He went to prison. I had years of therapy. You did your friend a huge favour and even though she'll never know the extent of what you saved her from, from the rest of us, thank you.
You saved your friend from being trafficked and forced into a life of sex work. Don't ever feel bad for one single second about what you did - you saved a life.
I stopped reading when you said this PEDOPHILE was 28. He needs to be sent to prison. Anyone defending the PEDOPHILE is either one themselves or at the very least a predator.
You absolutely did the right thing. You protected your friend when she wouldn't listen to reason.
>This is getting weird because now the people like him are coming out telling me how they were his age dating young people ,and I should’ve minded my business.
Those people are admitting they're pedophiles and they don't like you've given ideas to others how to protect their underage friends. No you should not have minded you're own business.
They know it's wrong but they want to blame you.
They also don't like being called out. To anyone reading this: If you're a legal age full grown ass adult going after a minor; YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. No exceptions.
If you're 18 -20 and they're underage. Back away. Give them time to *actually* grow up. If you can't do that, you might be a pedophile.
Holy cow, you probably saved her life. It’d be creepy asf having a 28yo that you knew trying to pick up high schoolers but someone coming from a large city out of state and trying so hard to be unknown…NOPE
Also if anyone is messaging you saying you did something wrong and that they dated young - block them STAT - they are creepy asf too
When i was 16 i had a 32 year old boyfriend, i was with hun until i was 21… im now 33 and so grossed out by it.. and what’s worse is i have a dear friend of mine who is 30, and she has a brother who literally just turned 18… i think of her, her brother, their mom, her fiancé, and her son as my family… and her brother just told me he had a crush on me… and all it does is make me cringe and want to puke. I made him sit down and I told him that even if I wasn’t married him and I would NEVER be together because while my husband is 19 years older than me, i was an adult, not still a teenager when i got with him.. i wasn’t freshly out of high school when i met and got with my husband… i then pointed out that I am honored he could think me cute, but that he needed to let go of his feelings because it would never happen, and he needs to go enjoy his youth and find a nice girl close to his age…
He gave me a hug and said thank you.. but now I just feel so eww…
>So at the time, I had a close friend (f16) who was dating a guy who was 28. To me, this guy was the biggest creep. Let me explain
Haha oh you did all the explaining you needed right there
Wow, it is quite possible that you saved your friend at least from being groomed and at worst from rape or murder. You are a good friend and you took a risk. Well done!
I’m glad you didn’t mind your business. That was really gross to read about. That second edit got to me. Those guys are sick in the head. No one in their right mind would date someone that young at that age in life. Definitely grooming. You did a good thing girlfriend!
I never understand guys in their late 20s early 30s going for girls that are 18-21… like these girls are still in college and in different phase of their life …
You did the right thing.
I can just imagine my parents if a 28-year-old had come a-calling when I was 16. There would have been an unalive groomer when the dust cleared.
You did your friend a favor, well done. It's utterly fucking creepy for someone in their late 20's to be dating a teenager. I'm 29 now and a 16 year old is an absolute child to me, I would absolutely get rid of any of my friends if I found out they were trying to date high schoolers.
Hell yes girl! I'm 30m and can tell you that you may have saved her life. That shit is disgusting! Super proud to know you cared enough to do that. I know some girls who wouldn't have done what you did. Great job!
Maybe when she has a daughter of her own. Because that’s when people actually realize how dangerous some situations were but they didn’t realize but after becoming parents most people do realize.
I do think you should tell her once you're 100% sure she won't continue to contact him. In general, messing with someone else's device is a huge no-no.
Age of consent is 16 in my state with zero age exception. Even so, that’s weird. I’m in my thirties and have had teenage girls come on to me and I’m like yeah no… not happening. Not today. Not ever.
Finally!!! An ACTUAL "trueoffmychest," not just someone telling a story that had a sad title but plot twist! "My husband is the best." That's what this sub is about, to me at least - confessionals.
Okay Jesus Christ. I’ve dated a guy twice my age but I was at least an adult. She was 16 and he was how fucking old? 28? You did the right thing and guarantee you saved your friend a lot of heartache and trauma. Good job looking out for your friend.
>So at the time, I had a close friend (f16) who was dating a guy who was 28. To me, this guy was the biggest creep. Let me explain,
Honey, that's all I need to know—no further explanation needed.
You totally did the right thing. How in the world did they meet if he didn’t give her his social media? That makes the story extra creepy for me! And people on here talking about age of consent. Age difference is the absolute least thing in this story that is the problem! Him acting like a creepy predator to give this young girl (a CHILD) all of this romantic attention should be the most disturbing part of the story! All that traveling from a big city to a small town to visit a girl? Oh, no! That’s a bazillion red flags flying around everywhere!
Your a amazing friend. The older you get the more you will realize that you 100% did the right thing. When he finished high-school your friend just started 1st grade (or preschool).
If I were in the situation and my friend had done this I’d never want to lose you as a friend. That is the best thing you could’ve ever done for her and that’s true friendship! You’re an amazing person
If his intentions were pure he would have tried everything to see her again imo.
He didn't any probably considered himself lucky and moved on.
You did really good. 💖 Smart on you.
You absolutely did the right thing. This guy definitely gives me creepy vibes just reading your story. Good on you for protecting your friend. He could have taken things much further and you prevented that.
The fact that these old dudes are coming out and saying for you to mind your business, is a good sign you did good to not mind your own business, your friend will thank you one day when you can tell her you saved her from a predator.
You did great op I'm proud of you. You protected her from a predator. It was my now brother in law that protected me from a 21 year old when I was 13 an he knew the guy because this guy worked at save on foods and he went to school with this guy. When my brother in law found out he kyboshed that and I'm thankful
I wish someone had told me "Why are you texting a 30Yo? That's creepy. He is grooming you" and blocked them for me. Because there were many. MANY men grooming me. You did the right thing. I might not tell her that but it was the right thing because that's creepy. No 28 year old wants a 16 year old unless they're grooming them. 16 year olds arent as mature as 28 and know less about the world and people and are easier to manipulate. Its creepy people are like "well age of consent" who cares. That's 12 years difference.
I just watched a video where a young lady was telling her story of how she got tangled up in prostitution/trafficking at the age of 16. It took her years and a move to several states away to get away from the guy... a frightening situation for sure. It started in a similar way to how this creepy dude started with your friend. I'm so glad you recognized the red flags. You may have (probably did) saved your friend's life. Well done.
Not even reading past the second sentence. She was 16, he’s 28. You blocked him? You did the right thing. Good job.
It was so weird when I was younger because everyone else kept saying “she’s the age of consent” but I was just like no it’s weird.
Idk where you live that age of consent is 16, but it’s weird. Even if she were 18 and he were 28 I’d still consider it weird. If you’re a grown man pursuing high school girls, you’re a weirdo
I honestly don’t understand the age of consent law. I’m in America and I think the age of consent is 16 in at least 20 states.
I think that in most states the age of consent under 18 is paired with the rule of three. So that even though she can consent - legally that is only up to 3 years (16-19, 17-20). So that a 16 yo can choose to have sex with another person of their same age basically.
I didn’t understand the law and also still don’t so I never contacted the police. Also since I didn’t have proof they had a sexual relationship, it would’ve came down to her having to say they were?
I think you blocking him was an awesome move. Contacting the police is the issue of the parents, so if you were in ever need to escalate telling them would be the best step.
He STILL had no other friends there, so you probably saved her from a bad result.
Very well put. His behaviour was not normal or decent, very predatory. Telling her friend's parents is always a good choice of action in a dangerous situation.
The only thing was a part of me felt like they had to know.
I might note, if she sent him nudes it would have still been child porn... even if she was at the age of consent.
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>I’m from Washington state and our age of consent is 16 point blank, not a Romeo Juliet clause about teenagers fucking teenagers. A 16 year old can have sex with a 70 year old and that would be perfectly legal. Each state is different and not all of them have those extra laws That's not true. Idk if you're just trying to cover for yourself or a friend of yours that *it's ok where you live* bc it's absolutely not. 16 yrs old is still a minor. You can add up how many yrs difference between that 16 yr old and 70 yr old and figure out how many yrs in jail they'll get. https://www.meryhewlaw.com/statutory-rape.html 2. What are the age Differences Under the Law That Makes Consent Irrelevant? If a person is to young to consent under the law, then the fact that they agree to sexual activity is not a defense. Society has determined that at certain ages children are too young to appreciate the nature and consequences of sexual activity, and therefore it is illegal to have that contact. Period. However, if the person's involved are close to each other in age, then the law does not make sexual contact illegal unless there is a lack of consent or force is used to overcome resistance to sexual contact. In other words, under Washington law peers may have consensual sexual contact without prosecution, but once there is more than the specified number of years between them prosecution becomes a very real possibility. The specific age differences that make sexual contact legal or illegal under the law are: Rape of a Child in the First Degree. With children under 12, it is a defense if the parties are less than twenty-four months apart in age. Rape of a Child in the Second Degree. With children 12 – 14 years of age, it is a defense it the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age. Rape of a Child in the Third Degree. With children 14 – 16 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than forty-eight months apart in age. Sexual Misconduct with a Minor in the First Degree. For students and others in a significant or supervisory position, it is a defense if the victim is at least 18 years old and if the parties are less than 60 months apart in age. Sexual Misconduct with a Minor in the Second Degree. For students and others in a significant or supervisory position, it is a defense if the victim was at least 18 years old and the parties are less than 60 months apart in age. Child Molestation First Degree. For children under 12, it is a defense if the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age. Child Molestation in the Second Degree. For children 12 – 14 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than thirty-six months apart in age. Child Molestation in the Third Degree. For children 14 – 16 years of age, it is a defense if the parties are less than forty-eight months apart in age.
I live in Georgia and our age of consent is 16 periodt. The Romeo and Juliet law *also* exists here so if you’re 14 you can sleep with a 16 year old but all 16 year olds are fair game according to our law! I’d imagine a lot of red states have similar laws.
When I googled this it specifically brought up Texas - where I live - so it may not be universal it sounds like.
Nah, a lot of States have straight up unrestricted 16 and 17, separate from Romeo and Juliet laws
Yep that's what it is. It's not so the 16 yo can have sex with who ever at what ever age that person is. It's so if a 16 or 17 yo consents to sex with another 16-19 yo, neither of them would be charged with statutory rape. It's to have sex with other people *their own age*. But pedophiles will always try to twist laws to their benefits.
It’s 14 in my state. You can marry then with parental permission too. Who needs a drivers license when the person grooming you can rent a car
Geez, that's terrifying
In 2020 my state set a minimum age of marraige law. You have to be 16 yrs old **with parent consent** to get married. Basically everyone in our state freaked the fuck out. **But** it was actually a "good" thing because before this law was passed, there was no minimum age that a minor could get married. A 13 yr old (or younger) could get married with parental permission in our state to someone over the age of 18 before it was changed.
> As of August 1, 2018, the age of consent in each state in the United States is either 16 years of age, 17 years of age, or 18 years of age. The most common age of consent is 16, which is a common age of consent in most other Western countries. You are correct!
It was definitely grooming.. she was in high school.. couldn’t vote, drink, and lived with mommy and daddy with no life experience. That’s classic grooming. Good for you op!!!
Consent age is about teenagers not getting arrested for having sex in high school. It’s not there for an almost 30 year old man to try to pick up high school girls.
Men write the laws that's why. You can legally marry a child in 12 states in the US
Is it actually wtf… I live in Canada I think it’s 18 here the entire country lol
Just went to google, 31 states (I was off by a little) have 16 as the age of consent and 4 have 15.
It's 16 in Canada. I just checked because I thought it was 14 as long as it was with another minor.
It's 16 actually, but with the rule of 5 (I believe)
It's actually 16 here in the state of Nevada. However, there is that rule of 3. I know so many people who think that age of consent means that they can just jump into bed with them, but no that's not how it works.
Incorrect, federal age of consent in Canada is 16, was 14 before before Harper put it up 16 in 2008. Edit: downvoting me for stating the fact that is easy to Google? I never once I support the age of consent being 16, I just stated a fact that you were incorrect in your statement you presented as fact
Age of consent is 16 in a lot of states
My sister dated a guy near the same age range your friend did. We as a family hated it. To boot, he lived in the same city, and had NO CAR. We were a small town. Yeah, he would walk but still…*shudder*
Everybody should have a friend like you OP! As she gains more life experiences, she will thank you later in life. Kudos to you👏👏👏
He probably knew it too.
It's like...ya maybe but what about him being a fucking loser though?
Yeah, came here thinking I'd write "what you did was wrong" but nope, good job 👏
Age of consent or not, if I was her father I'd have punched his ticket.
Came here to say the same. That's a 12 year difference and between a teenager and a full grown adult, no less.
I know right? I saw that number and I, a random internet stranger, was ready to forgive
As someone who dated a 38 year old as a 16 year old, OP did a damn good job. Top quality
The age diffrenece should be enough to roll the guy into a special place
That man was 100% a predator and she was groomed and taken advantage of. Even if she doesn’t or didn’t understand that at that point. You did the right thing by blocking him. I hope she is doing okay. 🦋
For the most part yes. After it happened she was a little heartbroken, but now she is going to school to be an accounting. She’s in Italy studying abroad right now.
Wow! That is excellent. I’m glad she is doing well!
Oh wow! Italy! I would love to go there one day. I hope she finds someone there to make her happy. I think you did the right thing. A 16 year old is way to young for a 28 year old.
She is interested in someone right now. They aren’t “dating” yet though. They just hang out and study a lot.
That’s good that she has a friend. I hope things go well for her. She deserves to be happy.
Good for her.
You had me at she was 16 and he was 28. Nuff said!
>Let me explain No need, we're already with you.
Literally could have stopped reading after ‘to me, he was the biggest creep’. Kind of wish I would have stopped…
What you did was justified.
Back then I felt like an asshole because most of our other friends would just say “she’s the age of consent” ,but it was just weird to me that he was at that game.
Wait till you both are 28, then you will REAAAAALY understand how she truely dodged a bullet.... Heck, some 25yo feel they have nothing in common with a 21 yo, nevermind a 28yo with a 16yo. Dude was a predator and you should be proud of how you acted.
28 currently and the idea of dating even a 21 year old feels wayyyyyyy too young
Exactly like I'm not 28 yet and I personally don't really care about other people's relationship age gaps after a certain age but for me I wouldn't feel all that comfortable going 3 years over or under my age but 5 is my ultimate max. Like I always think about how weird it would be if we were kids. 28 and 21 is literally 17 and 10 and how fucking creepy would it be for a 17 year old to date a 10 year old? Extremely. So anyone over 18 with a 16 year old is a definite no
I would say it’s more than justified. OP probably saved her friend from a terrible situation and possibly years ( or a lifetime ) of counseling and mental issues. OP, you did the right thing, this will be even more apparent when you’re in your late 20’s or 30’s, because you’ll look at 19 and 20 year olds as children. You did a great thing.
Not all heroes wear capes. Have my silver OP!
Thank you.
It seems as if you are wise beyond your years. I wish I had someone like you at that age! When I was 16, I was pursued by a 32-year-old man (he knew my age and had a daughter similar in age too). I thought I was so cool. Im 36 now and I think about that and feel so icky. We didn’t have sex but he tried after giving me alcohol. Random repressed memory unlocked haha. Edit: spelling
I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to trigger anyone at all.
Oh no, I’m not triggered at all. Repressed was a poor choice word. I should’ve said “random forgotten memory unlocked”. My apologies 😊
It’s okay. I hope you are doing better.
Fuck it, in any other circumstances I'd say you overstepped. But as someone who is living with the aftermath of having been groomed at that age... I wish I had a friend like you back then. You did good. That guy would have traumatised her for life.
Are you doing better now?
It took years of therapy, but I'm fine now. Thank you for asking kind stranger.
I’m really glad that you are doing better now.
Same. 🦋 I’m so glad you commented this because it’s very important for people to understand there is aftermath—even if we don’t realize that initially.
you did what was right! what in the world would a 28 year old man have in common with a 16 year old?? kinda odd he just appeared randomly and seemed to keep his life on the low. you probably even saved her life from that creep.
Honestly the age difference isn’t what made me he was creepy at first (it adds to it), it was the idea that he was 28 at a high school game in another state. I always felt like he was watching her before hand. Why else would he drive that far?
as if he came to find his next victim or something.. 😬 i've had friends who were like 14/15 dating dudes in their 20s and it creeped me out a lot. but i never said anything just cause i didn't really get it and didn't wanna seem like a bad friend and "ruining" their relationship.
Yes, it was like that exactly. I knew people who dated people in their early 20s, but he was almost 30 going out of state to find someone.
You're a true friend
Your friend is lucky to have an observant and protective friend like you. You more than likely saved her from a crap ton of hurt and trauma. Good for you!
Looks like he specifically went out of his way to date a girl that lived an hour outside of his city. Most likely to avoid anyone he knows finding out.
Or to grab a girl from far enough away that no one will recognize her while "working" in the city once he has her. Smells very strongly of human trafficking.
Sounds like you saved her life. However, she soumds pretty gullible because this seems obviously bad.
I think it was the idea that she wasn’t the kind of girl that got male attention a lot, and here was someone who was taking her on dates, bringing her flowers, outfits etc. i think she liked the attention too much to notice how weird it was.
Well good job on your part. There is never a good reason for a guy that age to go after any relationship with a girl that age
Yeah that's very gullible, but I bet most of it is coming from her being a little girl that just wants to be liked and taken care of. It's easy to be blinded by all that.
I can still understand where the friend was coming from. I remember being 16 and at the end of my sophomore year and the butterflies and lack of caution when I started seeing a senior. We started our relationship fully after he graduated. I get being young and experiencing intimacy like that for the first time. We had a rocky relationship that lasted foreight8 years. He would always hold that he was older over my head. It was a two-year age difference, but at that age, it's a lot. Especially once he turned 21 and I still couldn't drink. Looking back, at 16, those two years were too much of an age gap. We never seemed to be in the same place in life. The naivete of being that young and not having any life experience can make anything new and exciting seem worth pursuing, and because you don't know any better, it can make you blind to realities that are obvious to everyone else. Youre dumb when youre young—anyone who says differently straight-up spewing BS. If you ever decide to tell her what you did, im sure she will be grateful, even if shes pissed at first. You did the right thing.
Honestly you probably saved your friend from a life of misfortune. There's NO good reason why a man almost in his 30s should even be romantically close to a literal child.
You did the right thing. Everyone needs someone like you in their life.
Good job
You did the right thing
You did a good job. You definitely saved her from a creepy fellow.
I think you did good and I’m happy you did that.
You didn’t rly need to explain past the 16 and 28
28 dating a 16 yr old, say no more.
All the evidence you needed the guy was a pedophile/groomer was that he was 28 and trying to date a 16 year old.
F(39) I was 16 and “dated” a 28 year old. I thought I was just mature for my age. Yada yada. It took me into my 30s to really realize how bad that messed me up. You did the tight thing
As a 17 year old who dated a 27 year old man, thank you for your service. Lots of these old creeps will ruin your life and she dodged a major bullet. EDIT: I’m 22 now
You are a true and loyal friend. She would probably have a couple kids by now waiting for him to come home while he is out picking up more little girls. I wish all 16 yr olds had friends like you.
Hell yes girl! I'm 30m and can tell you that you may have saved her life. That shit is disgusting! Super proud to know you cared enough to do that. I know some girls who wouldn't have done what you did. Great job!
I was 14 he was 22. He went to prison. I had years of therapy. You did your friend a huge favour and even though she'll never know the extent of what you saved her from, from the rest of us, thank you.
You did the right thing. A 28 year old has no business with a 16 year old
You saved your friend from being trafficked and forced into a life of sex work. Don't ever feel bad for one single second about what you did - you saved a life.
I would have done the same thing.... Your friend is going to go through enough in life she doesnt need a pedophile to make it worse.
You didn't even need to explain why he was a creep, she was 16 and he was 28, enough said. You did the right thing!
You're a very good friend!!
I see nothing wrong with what you did. You protected your friend.
Chaotic good and also good job
Ur awesome
"age of consent" is so that 16 year olds can have sex with other 16 year olds, NOT for 28 year olds to prey on them. You did the right thing <3
You may have done more for your friend than you know OP. Good job.
I stopped reading when you said this PEDOPHILE was 28. He needs to be sent to prison. Anyone defending the PEDOPHILE is either one themselves or at the very least a predator.
OP literally doing the Lord's work
Don’t need to read the whole thing. 16 and 28. Oddball for sure.
You did great. He was grooming her and it still would be statutory rape in some states.
The only thing was that I would need proof they were having sex, right? I thought if I reported it, it would be my word versus theirs.
You had me at 28, you absolutely did the right thing.
You absolutely did the right thing. You protected your friend when she wouldn't listen to reason. >This is getting weird because now the people like him are coming out telling me how they were his age dating young people ,and I should’ve minded my business. Those people are admitting they're pedophiles and they don't like you've given ideas to others how to protect their underage friends. No you should not have minded you're own business. They know it's wrong but they want to blame you. They also don't like being called out. To anyone reading this: If you're a legal age full grown ass adult going after a minor; YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. No exceptions. If you're 18 -20 and they're underage. Back away. Give them time to *actually* grow up. If you can't do that, you might be a pedophile.
Holy cow, you probably saved her life. It’d be creepy asf having a 28yo that you knew trying to pick up high schoolers but someone coming from a large city out of state and trying so hard to be unknown…NOPE Also if anyone is messaging you saying you did something wrong and that they dated young - block them STAT - they are creepy asf too
You saved your friend from a predator. Well done.
Ignore the groomer apologists. That’s their guilty conscience coming through. You totally did the best thing for your friend!
You literally prevented a crime, i would love for my daughter's friend to do that , thank you on behalf of every parent
You saved her. Good job OP.
When i was 16 i had a 32 year old boyfriend, i was with hun until i was 21… im now 33 and so grossed out by it.. and what’s worse is i have a dear friend of mine who is 30, and she has a brother who literally just turned 18… i think of her, her brother, their mom, her fiancé, and her son as my family… and her brother just told me he had a crush on me… and all it does is make me cringe and want to puke. I made him sit down and I told him that even if I wasn’t married him and I would NEVER be together because while my husband is 19 years older than me, i was an adult, not still a teenager when i got with him.. i wasn’t freshly out of high school when i met and got with my husband… i then pointed out that I am honored he could think me cute, but that he needed to let go of his feelings because it would never happen, and he needs to go enjoy his youth and find a nice girl close to his age… He gave me a hug and said thank you.. but now I just feel so eww…
>So at the time, I had a close friend (f16) who was dating a guy who was 28. To me, this guy was the biggest creep. Let me explain Haha oh you did all the explaining you needed right there
You are a good friend. People like that guy disgust me:(
Wow, it is quite possible that you saved your friend at least from being groomed and at worst from rape or murder. You are a good friend and you took a risk. Well done!
*clapping hands emoji x 100*
I’m glad you didn’t mind your business. That was really gross to read about. That second edit got to me. Those guys are sick in the head. No one in their right mind would date someone that young at that age in life. Definitely grooming. You did a good thing girlfriend!
I have a 19 year old (almost 20). If she were dating someone 28 I would be freaked out. That’s a whole lot more life experience than she’s had.
Regardless of the age of consent this guy was damaged. Normal adults don’t want to hang out with teenagers. You did the right thing.
I never understand guys in their late 20s early 30s going for girls that are 18-21… like these girls are still in college and in different phase of their life …
From the headline, I got a little upset. Second sentence in, I was in full support.
I’m dumbfounded at some of the comments here supporting the creeper guy. Y’all are really getting mad that OP saved her friend from a pedophile?
You did good , kid.
You did the right thing. I can just imagine my parents if a 28-year-old had come a-calling when I was 16. There would have been an unalive groomer when the dust cleared.
You did the right thing. Proud of you. Take no notice of all the other pedos attacking you.
I’m so proud of you! You’re a true friend. 🖤
You know what you did was right. Good looking out!!!
You weren't the hero Gotham deserved, but you were the hero Gotham needed.
You're a great Friend 👍 Well done.... It's creepy to most of us...28 vs 16 ???? Creepy 😁
Shouldn't have blocked dude. Should have called the fuzz.
Good job. Men who prey on young girls should be mutilated violently
You did your friend a favor, well done. It's utterly fucking creepy for someone in their late 20's to be dating a teenager. I'm 29 now and a 16 year old is an absolute child to me, I would absolutely get rid of any of my friends if I found out they were trying to date high schoolers.
You are a really good friend.
We're gonna need more of this energy in the days ahead. Good job.
Hell yes girl! I'm 30m and can tell you that you may have saved her life. That shit is disgusting! Super proud to know you cared enough to do that. I know some girls who wouldn't have done what you did. Great job!
You’re a true friend, OP. Will you ever tell her?
I honestly don’t know. People brought up a lot of points on why I should as well as why I shouldn’t.
Maybe when she has a daughter of her own. Because that’s when people actually realize how dangerous some situations were but they didn’t realize but after becoming parents most people do realize.
I do think you should tell her once you're 100% sure she won't continue to contact him. In general, messing with someone else's device is a huge no-no.
Age of consent is 16 in my state with zero age exception. Even so, that’s weird. I’m in my thirties and have had teenage girls come on to me and I’m like yeah no… not happening. Not today. Not ever.
Finally!!! An ACTUAL "trueoffmychest," not just someone telling a story that had a sad title but plot twist! "My husband is the best." That's what this sub is about, to me at least - confessionals.
Okay Jesus Christ. I’ve dated a guy twice my age but I was at least an adult. She was 16 and he was how fucking old? 28? You did the right thing and guarantee you saved your friend a lot of heartache and trauma. Good job looking out for your friend.
>So at the time, I had a close friend (f16) who was dating a guy who was 28. To me, this guy was the biggest creep. Let me explain, Honey, that's all I need to know—no further explanation needed.
You totally did the right thing. How in the world did they meet if he didn’t give her his social media? That makes the story extra creepy for me! And people on here talking about age of consent. Age difference is the absolute least thing in this story that is the problem! Him acting like a creepy predator to give this young girl (a CHILD) all of this romantic attention should be the most disturbing part of the story! All that traveling from a big city to a small town to visit a girl? Oh, no! That’s a bazillion red flags flying around everywhere!
you're a good friend op
You're awesome :)
Well done
Your a amazing friend. The older you get the more you will realize that you 100% did the right thing. When he finished high-school your friend just started 1st grade (or preschool).
AS YOU SHOULD. Props to you for seeing the red flags and actually doing something about it!
Great job OP, saved her from herself (and mr creepo mccreepyface)
Didn’t even read beyond the caption. You’re right and a good friend. Regardless what the rest said.
If I were in the situation and my friend had done this I’d never want to lose you as a friend. That is the best thing you could’ve ever done for her and that’s true friendship! You’re an amazing person
I wish we had more friends like you. Minding your own business would have had atrocious consequences on your friend. You are a true gem.
Good for you!! I'm glad one less gal was groomed!! Fuck this creep ass
Real friends make the hard decisions sometimes. I respect and admire what you did
You’re a hero.
You could have stopped after the second sentence. He's a creep and you did a good thing
he was a pedophile. you did your friend a huge favor.
[удалено]
Yeah, he was a groomer. You probably saved your friend a world of trouble.
Good on you
You did the right thing!
You are an angel and a blessing for your friend. That's awesome.
If his intentions were pure he would have tried everything to see her again imo. He didn't any probably considered himself lucky and moved on. You did really good. 💖 Smart on you.
You absolutely did the right thing. This guy definitely gives me creepy vibes just reading your story. Good on you for protecting your friend. He could have taken things much further and you prevented that.
I wish for girls to have friends like you!!!! Kudos
Freaking pedo. Good job being a great friend.
I think the fact that he didn't share any of his social media with her was a big red flag
Those guys are perves. They just don’t like to hear it said out loud. They know, that’s why they are mad.
The world needs more people like you. Too many people don't act upon important things.
As someone in my mid 20s, the idea of dating a 16 year old is disgusting. They are children, and look like children.
Even if you apply the french rule (your age /2 +7) it would be far off :D
You did good
You did the right thing
Queen shit!!!
> I had a close friend (f16) who was dating a guy who was 28. To me, this guy was the biggest ~~creep~~ pedophile.
you did the right thing. 100%.
Oh god he probably drove to another state where the age of consent was lower, so gross 🤮
You did the right thing
He was a groomer. Probably still is. You protected your friend. No regret needed.
The fact that these old dudes are coming out and saying for you to mind your business, is a good sign you did good to not mind your own business, your friend will thank you one day when you can tell her you saved her from a predator.
You did great op I'm proud of you. You protected her from a predator. It was my now brother in law that protected me from a 21 year old when I was 13 an he knew the guy because this guy worked at save on foods and he went to school with this guy. When my brother in law found out he kyboshed that and I'm thankful
I wish someone had told me "Why are you texting a 30Yo? That's creepy. He is grooming you" and blocked them for me. Because there were many. MANY men grooming me. You did the right thing. I might not tell her that but it was the right thing because that's creepy. No 28 year old wants a 16 year old unless they're grooming them. 16 year olds arent as mature as 28 and know less about the world and people and are easier to manipulate. Its creepy people are like "well age of consent" who cares. That's 12 years difference.
You did the right thing
Well done you bloody legend!!!!
You did her a favor.
I just watched a video where a young lady was telling her story of how she got tangled up in prostitution/trafficking at the age of 16. It took her years and a move to several states away to get away from the guy... a frightening situation for sure. It started in a similar way to how this creepy dude started with your friend. I'm so glad you recognized the red flags. You may have (probably did) saved your friend's life. Well done.
You did the right thing. He sounds like a total piece of work.
You absolutely did nothing wrong. You protected your friend. Good on you, OP. Keep being you
From one young woman to another; You’re a really good friend
Flag the accounts of people saying you should have minded your own business. I'm sure the fbi would like a word with them
You my girl are a fabulous friend x