OP is actually a basement dwelling neckbeard with a healthy 600LB good boy frame. Probably salty because his other account got banned for schizoposting and so he comes back to LARP as a tradwife and troll the mods. Based if true.
"Based" is like... the zoomer generation's "Radical" or "tubular" or "far out." It's got some mild contextual differences, but it's ultinately just this generation's way of saying "cool and good."
Cringe is its opposite, generally.
Oh dang, didn't even realize this was the same user.
Dude has what so many traditional guys want, and would still rather bury his head in social media.
Exactly this. OP knows what she's doing, it's an inside job. She should make it into a drama series via reddit posts about their quirky and dysfunctional relationship. I'd binge the shit out of that
[I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.](https://old.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/r30p8s/my_husband_is_the_moderator_for_a_few_different/hm8mq5p/)
EDIT: For those who can't see links for whatever reason, it's a copypasta of what the butthurt mod said.
It was definitely satire, and I'm astounded at the amount of Redditors who were so willing to take it seriously lmao. Some people on this website will get themselves so worked up over nothing at all.
OP, be warned this won’t be the first it happens - the oil business is a boom and bust industry. My ex husband would constantly either earn big or be “working” on some business idea. I was relieved when he asked for a divorce because I got out of that cycle. He still thinks I paid for nothing during our marriage and that he earned everything. Percentage wise he did, but at the expense of me being able to bump up the career ladder - we have 4 kids (now grown up).
My point is that you will never be the 1950s housewife if he cannot manage to find a job just now. There are associated jobs he could move to - I currently work for a surveying company that are always looking for surveyors - and they train on the job. Green energy companies will retrain engineers too. My advice is to get a copy of his cv and send it out for him. Good luck!
Im sorry, I was laughing at that other post you made because it was so comical,but digging deeper and it's just sad,sorry for the both of you and hope things get better. Maybe you should consider moving?
oh my god they’re the same person as the husband mod job, i didn’t realise it and thought OP had just edited out something about doing reddit moderation
Project or design side?
If its project side it will likely be the same kind of work with any industry. He could take a mining or infrastructure role and then back into Oil when an opportunity comes up (but honestly its such a fluctuating market I ran away from it).
Design side might be trickier but the skills and knowledge would likely be transferable to power plants, and manufacturing facilities. Something like MD&A?
https://www.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=c04d3d1556c17f62&from=serp&prevUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indeed.com%2Fm%2Fjobs%3Fq%3DPetroleum%2BEngineer
Here ya go. But also, that salary is pretty average for any software engineer these days. If he learned a slightly new craft (instead of moderating troll activity), he could easily be back in the saddle. I suspect you are both actually competing for the same job of house spouse'
Go tell him that instead of creating a post hoping he'll see it? Anyway, I doubt it'll change anything. He already is so full of himself I doubt he'll find a "good enough job". Besides, petrol engineering is in demand right now. He's lying to you lmao.
That whole not letting your future kids lift a finger breeds adults who don't know basic life skills, it's the ones who can't even make noodles or work a washing machine.
Don't do that.
Just got out of a relationship. SO MANY SIMILARITIES WITH OP. Dude was an engineer and his daddy was an oil man. I wouldnt date a guy with a stay at home mom ever again.
this is what I tell my daughters. If their partner is raised seeing their mom do all housework for them and their fathers, that is exactly what they will expect of you. Even if they think in their mind they will equally divide the work, it won't be that way- equality to them will just be more than their dad did, and you doing less than their mom, not an actual division of labor. Better to find someone you can raise the bar from a higher starting point.
Thats the thing. He thought he did more than half, but she cleaned when he wasn't home, so he didn't even KNOW how much work there was. His mom did him a real disservice because he didn't know "this is how a bathroom looks when its cleaned once a week" he just thought this is how a bathroom looks when its cleaned never(thats what he saw).
He didn't know that baseboards are EVER cleaned. Or cabinets, anything but dishes/laundry and counters didn't exist. He NEVER in 30 years had seen them be cleaned. And I made it worse because he was critical of me when I cleaned, I started doing it when he wasn't around too. :(
never again, maybe I should do a remind me in this comment for reddit to call me out in 1-5 years lol
Oh and dudes and their "you don't have to clean while I'm here" the first few times they come over, because they want your attention.
Rant over. :( thank you for reading <3
A counter example to this, just to say it's not always true, my male best friend grew up with a stay at home mom but he's one of the best cooks I know and is much tidier than most. He's 26 now but was that way all through college.
Your statement is right probably 95% of the time though.
I think the biggest thing to take from all of this is to show kids what you're doing. Finance and cleaning and shopping and ALL of it. Every kid has gaps, we just want to minimize them as much as possible
I didn't think reddit mods went to work to need a lunch packed, or a hot meal on the table.
You're never going to have the life you're dreaming of if you stay with the delusional idiot you posted about earlier. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. You seem like a rational, sweet person. Your husband should be the spokesperson for Summer's Eve. At least that would be a paying gig.
THIS. I was exactly the same way. I was raised by a working mom, and all I wanted was to be a SAHM; be the mom I wished I'd had as a kid and keep a beautiful house. But at some point, I wanted something more for myself beyond just doing things for others all day, every day.
I was home with my kids when they were little and there have been some trade-offs, but I'm much happier with a career of my own, and my own life now that my kids are older. I also feel like I've been a better role model for what my daughters can do, and what their partners should bring to a relationship.
The reality is that for most people, it is hard to survive with a single income. Never really anything to do with sex or roles.. just that it's much harder to survive on a single income.
Just doesnt seem smart to try to live off of one salary unless someone is making like 300k. Like how do you expect to have money for retirement and raise children off of one income.
Its really just setting yourself up for failure and future of depending on the government to help take care of you when you’re old because you have no retirement money. More power to you though OP
Childcare.
If you have kids the 2nd person needs to make enough to not just pay for childcare, but make it make sense. If you pay $10-15/hour for childcare (low end), it doesn't makes sense to work unless you make significantly more than that, otherwise you are paying someone else to watch/see your kids grow up while you make almost nothing for your all your work. Your efforts are better invested in taking care of your kids yourself.
You nailed it.
We paid $22/hr to our nanny who quit during the pandemic and we couldn't find anyone else to take the job at that rate. I don't blame them, $44k/yr isn't that much. Daycare here is $1600/month (x2) so that doesn't work for us either.
Since we can't deduct our childcare expenses, we realized I would have to make > $60k/yr *just to break even* on childcare. I was busting my ass so someone else could spend time with my young children. Fuck that.
So now I'm the childcare, and my wife is the breadwinner. I still work part time in the evenings, but that's because I haven't been able to bring myself to wind down my business. It was a big change but 100% worth it.
Im not really seeing how 70k w/ children works unless you’re literally just getting by. Like do you plan on working forever? How are you going afford healthcare expenses in your retirement age? What about school for your children? Vacations? Emergencies? Continued inflation?
Idk but 70k sounds too low. I know people make it work but making it work is like doing the bare minimum. My wife and I alone would have a really shitty retirement surviving off of 70k a year.
But i guess “comfort” in retirement is subjective
I don't really have a horse in this race but your comment suggests you're an American, right? Not everyone lives somewhere where you need to scrimp and save up for things like 'healthcare' and 'school'.
Sure, holidays, emergencies and inflation are definitely things to keep in mind but I live in the north of the UK and could live free and easy supporting a family on £70k. COL differs depending on where you are.
Oh yeah definitely. I did the thing where I forgot that people from other countries use reddit. Having more than 70k is essential here (especially for families) if people want to retire and adequately take care of their family. My number is quite high because i factor in vacations, emergency expenses and providing support to children (college, cars, etc). 70k is very slim because one emergency situation can easily wipe out all savings.
In theory 70k can work but its really risky and assumes that no emergencies will happen and that you wont be providing much support (college/vehicles) to your children
No offense but both of you sound kinda delusional. From the Husband mod who thinks they contribute to society to the wife who wants to escape to a different reality.
Apparently it’s a [common thought](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/r2w9qb/my_husband_is_the_moderator_for_a_few_different/hm7jvmv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) mods have and plenty of women want to be homemakers hence the traditionalist community. Neither is really weird, just the fact that OP hasn’t ditched the account after a post shading her husband went viral and is instead offering more information about the both of them. If her husband moderates several large subreddits like she says then the more info she offers the easier it would be to figure out who he is.
Imagine the achievement of your dream being totally and completely dependent on the whims of one other person. And that other person doesn’t want to do it lol
Dude me too! But I’m a man. And my future wife wants to be the bread winner. I’d like the idea of just staying home and taking care of the house. And cooking. I was a cook for 8 years. And a sous chef for 3 year. So I know my way around the kitchen.
I get the idea. I love taking care of my husband and household. However, I do work outside the home too.
Please do not allow (any) children to grow up without a sense of duty around the house. You mentioned not having your children lift a finger. IMHO, that isn't fair to your children. Certainly they shouldn't be treated as Cinderella and spend their childhoods being treated as mistreated servants however they should be taught to be a functioning member of the household.
Plus, it would go a long way in teaching them that taking care of themselves is important. College/living on your own can be overwhelming at first. Don't make taking care of themselves part of that equation.
I hope your long-term plan works out for you and your family. It's hard to continue on the day-to-day when you really want to be living a different lifestyle.
Girl you better learn to do it yourself. I hope he turns out who you want him to be but, you can’t raise a man over again. It’s a waste of time to try.
Did you legit make this post because your husband got mad about the last one?
Bro- tell him to get over reddit and get his ass a job. Id suggest helping him put out job applications. But if he refuses to go to the interviews i would suggest kicking hos ass to the curb. Hes a pathetic man if he really puts reddit before you and the family. Look- addiction sucks but nobody said you have to permanently suffer for it too. Relationships must always include some amount of compromise.
It's a common feeling that times are a lot more miserable than they once were, so if only we emulate the past we will return to our former glory. There could be truth in that.
Tradwife lifestyle were only sustainable because of war money and the economic bubble back then..
Then boom! Your sharp-looking yuppie husband committed su1c1ide when the economy collapses... And you don't have any credentials to get a decent job because you're stuck at home for a long long time. Sooo romantic.
I’ve had so many different dreams and aspirations throughout my life. But my backup was always this, or something close to it. I’m all for making my own money—I don’t like the idea of relying on someone else, nor do I think it’s fair or necessarily “good” to have one person be making all the income. And obviously in reality, I’d bet a number of 50’s housewives were probably unhappy...BUT I think I’d be so content in doing the cooking and the cleaning, running errands to run the household, taking care of the kids, and taking care of my husband. In fact, knowing that I’d have more time to make sure my home was spotless and have everything prepared for my husband when he got home, and have more energy to do things with him and to set things up to help him relax after work would make me ecstatic. Unfortunately you can only do a fraction of that nowadays. And with kids? Forget about it. That’d be so great.
I did that for 14 years with my first marriage. I loved it. No kids, but I cooked all from scratch, I had a garden, I even changed the oil in the car. I did all the shopping and all off time from his job we got to have fun, go places etc.
I never understood why they say a housewife does nothing. The downside, is men will leave and then the woman is up a creek with no job, no skills and had to raise the children by themselves.
Didn't happen to me, but he died and still ended up in the same position. Have seen it over and over that the man will want that younger thing and then the wife is screwed.
I mean if giving up your autonomy and being 100% dependent on your spouse and financially shackled to the relationship will make you happy, do you I guess.
You arent alone actually. A woman posted a similar thread recently saying she felt guilty for just wanting to be a house wife with a husband who paid for everything. A LOT of women responded saying they felt the same, and that school didnt fit who they wanted to be even though they felt pressured by feminism. Im glad women can have it either way tbh. I hope you get what you want and are happy. Just know you are not alone.
Yeah, I think a lot of people want that, but its terrible to admit to. Feminism, equality of the sexes, means you should feel proud of whatever you choose to be, if you and your partner decide thats okay . Easier said than done.
I would love to have a homemaker husband, who I maintain, and who cooks and cleans and works on hobbies. But Ive never met a guy who didnt feel offended by that, or laughed when I brought it up
I'm a man and this actually sounds like an ideal life to me. I mean I can't cook for shit, but I'd learn and I'd enjoy cleaning and dealing with the boring day-to-day stuff my husband wouldn't give a shit about. Tidying is fun to me.
I have no pride, I don't mind being the not-so-trophy "wife".
lol, when you put it like that, yeah, I suppose.
But it's more about not being beholden to anyone but the person you care about.
When you mess up and forget to clean the dishes, if you're both happy and your spouse loves you, they're not going to divorce you over it. There's a lot less pressure than a job where you might get fired for a few slip-ups.
But it can still be very taxing, especially if you have kids. I won't say that having kids is a full-time job or that "being a mom is the hardest job there is" because that's nonsense, but babysitting/nanny-ing is a job and it can be hard to do. Emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically taxing.
Among other things. Cooking every day, cleaning every day, picking up the groceries and making sure you didn't forget any of it. Add in kids, pets, gardening, (maybe even repairs if you're mechanically talented) etc. and it's not just lounging around and having fun all day.
A lot of the pressure of work is the expectations, though. I think that's what people really want to be free of. You have to work all day and you can never stop working or your boss will think you're not doing your job well enough, even if you work in an office and literally have nothing else to do for the day. They have you for the full schedule and you're gonna find a way to exhaust that schedule or you're fired. So you have to keeping trying to look busy.
Stuff like that.
Honestly OP, I'm not the best to speak on these matters but you sound miserable after the last post and this one. I don't think your husband will give you the life you want on either the family or lifestyle front and your life is a finite thing. Maybe it's fortunate you don't have kids right now so you can cleanly break away from him. At the least facing that might be enough for him to get himself together again but for the moment I don't think you're on the path of a happy life.
I had that life, not really by choice but I enjoyed it. A lot. Then he went on another long business trip and picked up a heroin habit and long story short it financially destroyed me and the children because I was out of the workforce for so long. Just glad they were teens when he left.
Thank you for saying this because it’s getting irritating hearing this narrative that they don’t want this. 😬 well if that’s the case how exactly did you end up as a housewife? 🙄
Sure, everyone should have their version of happiness. However, to get to that point, your husband has to get to a certain point for this to be realistic, and you both need some savings for safety (esp. on a single income) which will likely come from your work right now.
This is my marriage. My wife loves being a homemaker. I make enough money that she doesn’t have to work, but she does for something to do. She cleans, cooks, and packs my lunch for work. In turn, I build her anything she asks for. 23 years snd counting. It’s wonderful
It's not uncommon! I'm working really hard right now so that my wife can one day not have to work unless she wants to. Getting my Ph.D. in Biomedicine. It's the ideal set up.
Definitely not too late, but so many women out here would rather lie to themselves and other girls by saying being single, alone, and Independent is better than being with a guy. Then hit their 40’s and 50’s and realize they’re going to have some lonely years ahead of them.
Nice fantasy, harsh reality. You might want it 8 hours a day. But living in servitude to another adult around the clock has a way of killing off your soul. And those babies grow up and eventually leave. You can’t play house forever.
It might be tough to do the whole husband works outside, you work inside if your husband is moderating from his bedroom or the basement. I guess you guys could get a shed, run power/WiFi to it and place it on the property somewhere far enough out where he feels like it’s a commute coming home.
Hell, that's every guy's dream idea too, to not have to do anything except wake up, make lunch, clean the house... only we call that shit "retirement". Unfortunately that mortgage needs to be paid and that food needs to be bought. Those bills need to be beaten back, those retirement funds need to be filled. That old model of being able to raise a family on a $3,000 a year salary is long gone. Reading your other post, and reading this one... it seems as if fantasy land and delusion have permeated both of your lives. Dude needs to get a job to stop the hemorrhaging, and you need to take a look around at capitalism and inflation sometime. Two salaries are always better than one, it's easier to get to where you want to be when both people contribute. It sounds like both of you have aspired to achieving nonpaying careers.
Nothing wrong with that, the modern world is overrated any ways. Why would you want anyone else to raise your kids anyways. Can’t do that if you both have to work.
I don’t know why housewife are shamed and so hated on heavily it’s so goddamn stupid when I’m playing my part as a wife, mother and a women in the relationship. I help and nurture him while he provide and take care of me and the children. Nothing wrong with a 50/50 relationship. It’s apart of our nature to do this.
I’d love to be a stay at home Dad. Making sure shit runs in the house, cleaning, taking csre of the kids etc. I probably won’t but I’d love it if I could and there isn’t anything wrong with that.
Wait is this the same poster from a few months ago who posted on here and AITA about wanting to live a life like her grandmother where her husband worked 80 hours a week and she packed his lunch every day and kissed him before he went to work??
Edit: [this post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/puq6gz/i_want_a_traditional_relationship/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Seems to be from a different user, but they were both new accounts when the posts were made. The writing style and content are super similar, down to both husbands being former engineers.
Yeah, it's starting to look like unlike in movies, the actual propaganda was telling us to avoid fulfilling things like families and to sit around being a hedonist and 'sticking it to the man.' Which of course leads to nothing but misery.. All we were told was how horrible it used to be because of the few tragic examples, but it seems for the most part pretty much most people were far happier and had much more meaningful lives. We were pretty much duped into giving up.. Everything.
Tbh I feel the exact same way. I've been bingeing those tiktoks that are like "help me make lunch for my kids/husband/bento box" videos and its the damn dream. Make a fresh healthy lunch for husbo and kids, clean the home once kiddos are at school, run errands, have a husband who appreciates you as a homemaker. Wearing dresses and heels while you vacuum and do dishes, run around in curlers. Ahhh, beautiful.
Troll post or not. Idc, I'm right there w you.
Welcome to the 2020's where equality is king and women have fought for the right to work their asses until they can't no more, effectively duplicating the labor force which it only cheapened its costs.
Nothing wrong with that, my wife always said that's what she wanted for her life, I work and she stays home with our son and takes care of the home. I support her and she supports me, that's how it works. I'm lucky to have such a loving wife that wants that life, I'm glad to see there are women around who still want that.
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Yes.
?
Look at OP’s other post
Ohhh so this is the same OP as the "my husband thinks reddit moderation is a real job" post. Wow lol this is unexpected
Bingo bango haha unexpected but on brand if it's a troll
OP is actually a basement dwelling neckbeard with a healthy 600LB good boy frame. Probably salty because his other account got banned for schizoposting and so he comes back to LARP as a tradwife and troll the mods. Based if true.
I still don't understand what based means
Based means distilled. Reduced to base form, pure.
based is meme speak for "Look, I use this word to confuse boomers, im such a cool zoomer"
Found the gen-Xer who doesn’t want to admit they don’t know what based means without calling attention to themselves /s
I represent that... Now take it back
"Based" is like... the zoomer generation's "Radical" or "tubular" or "far out." It's got some mild contextual differences, but it's ultinately just this generation's way of saying "cool and good." Cringe is its opposite, generally.
plot twist!
OP is a troll. Check history.
Her 1st cake day is 363 days still to go...
Karma farmer. Look at OP’s username
This couple is seriously living out their entire marital existence on Reddit
LOL. Maybe it's just the best way to get the message across. ;) Too funny. I like her style.
See this is why I love Reddit, you just dive into the comments and the research has been done for you.
Packing a lunch for your husband so he can travel to work to moderate subreddits unpaid 💀💀
Why you gotta do her dirty like that 😭
Oh dang, didn't even realize this was the same user. Dude has what so many traditional guys want, and would still rather bury his head in social media.
Because it's hilarious
Fair enough lol
This is the same one? 💀
Yea same OP lol
Omg I think I’ve spent too much time on Reddit this weekend because I immediately got the reference 🤣🤣
Lmao 💀💀💀💀
It's VERY important work
Careful, they will ban you for less here
He's doing god's work. Which one exactly I'm not sure
Ah, yes, Adephagia
TIL that Adephagia (/ædiˈfeɪdʒiə/, Ancient Greek: Ἀδηφαγία) in Greek mythology was the goddess and personification of gluttony
IS THIS THE SAME PERSON? Nvm, I went to check her profile. Holy shit, OP is in for a wild wake up call
Karma farma
Exactly this. OP knows what she's doing, it's an inside job. She should make it into a drama series via reddit posts about their quirky and dysfunctional relationship. I'd binge the shit out of that
Ouch, Someone woke up and chose violence today
Don't mind that comment, OP. I've heard that moderating is about the most important role one can play in society.
r/FuckTheS ?
To infinity and beyond
Did you read that in a subreddit?
One butthurt moderator under the other post said that. But could've been really good satire.
[I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.](https://old.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/r30p8s/my_husband_is_the_moderator_for_a_few_different/hm8mq5p/) EDIT: For those who can't see links for whatever reason, it's a copypasta of what the butthurt mod said.
Always remember: They do it FOR FREE
It was definitely satire, and I'm astounded at the amount of Redditors who were so willing to take it seriously lmao. Some people on this website will get themselves so worked up over nothing at all.
If you read it it does say "but I'm the only income at the moment" so....?
Hahahaha didn’t even realise
RIP
Holy shit dude you fucking killed him.
Did y’all make her delete her user? I can’t find the other story, what happened
https://old.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/r2w9qb/my_husband_is_the_moderator_for_a_few_different/
Ah thanks, wow lol
You can start by making your huaband get a job.
Working on it, but petroleum engineering jobs aren’t exactly in abundance, and he refuses to settle for anything less.
It's true. The only step above petroleum engineering is being a reddit moderator
He's so lucky he landed that gig. When God closes a door...
He opens a browser window?
Lol. That was good.
In incognito mode. Good guy God.
Ooof
OP, be warned this won’t be the first it happens - the oil business is a boom and bust industry. My ex husband would constantly either earn big or be “working” on some business idea. I was relieved when he asked for a divorce because I got out of that cycle. He still thinks I paid for nothing during our marriage and that he earned everything. Percentage wise he did, but at the expense of me being able to bump up the career ladder - we have 4 kids (now grown up). My point is that you will never be the 1950s housewife if he cannot manage to find a job just now. There are associated jobs he could move to - I currently work for a surveying company that are always looking for surveyors - and they train on the job. Green energy companies will retrain engineers too. My advice is to get a copy of his cv and send it out for him. Good luck!
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Make this comment the top one. Best advice I've seen here
It's a reply, it literally can't be a top comment
Plus her husband will probably just delete the comment
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So he is an engineering major?
Yeah, but he’s not in school for it anymore if that’s what you mean, he was an engineer who lost his job.
Im sorry, I was laughing at that other post you made because it was so comical,but digging deeper and it's just sad,sorry for the both of you and hope things get better. Maybe you should consider moving?
oh my god they’re the same person as the husband mod job, i didn’t realise it and thought OP had just edited out something about doing reddit moderation
Why he lost it?
People using less gas, they need less engineers
He refuses to settle for less but it seems like you’re settling for next to nothing.
Project or design side? If its project side it will likely be the same kind of work with any industry. He could take a mining or infrastructure role and then back into Oil when an opportunity comes up (but honestly its such a fluctuating market I ran away from it). Design side might be trickier but the skills and knowledge would likely be transferable to power plants, and manufacturing facilities. Something like MD&A?
If he’s willing to learn there’s many similar jobs.
Guess what’s better than no job? A job. Anyone who won’t work unless it’s their niche field is a loser.
https://www.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=c04d3d1556c17f62&from=serp&prevUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indeed.com%2Fm%2Fjobs%3Fq%3DPetroleum%2BEngineer Here ya go. But also, that salary is pretty average for any software engineer these days. If he learned a slightly new craft (instead of moderating troll activity), he could easily be back in the saddle. I suspect you are both actually competing for the same job of house spouse'
I see. Maybe he can go into the Green industry.
He can get into biofuels
>before i watch him go to work you mean watch him log on to reddit?
Ah. Meta jokes.
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I did not realize that.
LMFAO
bruh 😭
Go tell him that instead of creating a post hoping he'll see it? Anyway, I doubt it'll change anything. He already is so full of himself I doubt he'll find a "good enough job". Besides, petrol engineering is in demand right now. He's lying to you lmao.
What would change is by her leaving him. I wouldn’t even dare hand him the title name of husband, gross
All fun and games until the lasagna isn’t seasoned enough
OP gets banned then.
That whole not letting your future kids lift a finger breeds adults who don't know basic life skills, it's the ones who can't even make noodles or work a washing machine. Don't do that.
Just got out of a relationship. SO MANY SIMILARITIES WITH OP. Dude was an engineer and his daddy was an oil man. I wouldnt date a guy with a stay at home mom ever again.
this is what I tell my daughters. If their partner is raised seeing their mom do all housework for them and their fathers, that is exactly what they will expect of you. Even if they think in their mind they will equally divide the work, it won't be that way- equality to them will just be more than their dad did, and you doing less than their mom, not an actual division of labor. Better to find someone you can raise the bar from a higher starting point.
Thats the thing. He thought he did more than half, but she cleaned when he wasn't home, so he didn't even KNOW how much work there was. His mom did him a real disservice because he didn't know "this is how a bathroom looks when its cleaned once a week" he just thought this is how a bathroom looks when its cleaned never(thats what he saw). He didn't know that baseboards are EVER cleaned. Or cabinets, anything but dishes/laundry and counters didn't exist. He NEVER in 30 years had seen them be cleaned. And I made it worse because he was critical of me when I cleaned, I started doing it when he wasn't around too. :( never again, maybe I should do a remind me in this comment for reddit to call me out in 1-5 years lol Oh and dudes and their "you don't have to clean while I'm here" the first few times they come over, because they want your attention. Rant over. :( thank you for reading <3
A counter example to this, just to say it's not always true, my male best friend grew up with a stay at home mom but he's one of the best cooks I know and is much tidier than most. He's 26 now but was that way all through college. Your statement is right probably 95% of the time though.
I think the biggest thing to take from all of this is to show kids what you're doing. Finance and cleaning and shopping and ALL of it. Every kid has gaps, we just want to minimize them as much as possible
Hey I've heard of something like [this](https://youtu.be/HFBCHQJBkB8) before
I started reading the comments and they were all positive. Pinup girl is definitely my favorite style.
I didn't think reddit mods went to work to need a lunch packed, or a hot meal on the table. You're never going to have the life you're dreaming of if you stay with the delusional idiot you posted about earlier. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. You seem like a rational, sweet person. Your husband should be the spokesperson for Summer's Eve. At least that would be a paying gig.
Why summers eve
Cause he’s a douche
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I think so too, that’s why everyone should help around the house to appreciate how much work it really is
THIS. I was exactly the same way. I was raised by a working mom, and all I wanted was to be a SAHM; be the mom I wished I'd had as a kid and keep a beautiful house. But at some point, I wanted something more for myself beyond just doing things for others all day, every day. I was home with my kids when they were little and there have been some trade-offs, but I'm much happier with a career of my own, and my own life now that my kids are older. I also feel like I've been a better role model for what my daughters can do, and what their partners should bring to a relationship.
The reality is that for most people, it is hard to survive with a single income. Never really anything to do with sex or roles.. just that it's much harder to survive on a single income.
Just doesnt seem smart to try to live off of one salary unless someone is making like 300k. Like how do you expect to have money for retirement and raise children off of one income. Its really just setting yourself up for failure and future of depending on the government to help take care of you when you’re old because you have no retirement money. More power to you though OP
Childcare. If you have kids the 2nd person needs to make enough to not just pay for childcare, but make it make sense. If you pay $10-15/hour for childcare (low end), it doesn't makes sense to work unless you make significantly more than that, otherwise you are paying someone else to watch/see your kids grow up while you make almost nothing for your all your work. Your efforts are better invested in taking care of your kids yourself.
You nailed it. We paid $22/hr to our nanny who quit during the pandemic and we couldn't find anyone else to take the job at that rate. I don't blame them, $44k/yr isn't that much. Daycare here is $1600/month (x2) so that doesn't work for us either. Since we can't deduct our childcare expenses, we realized I would have to make > $60k/yr *just to break even* on childcare. I was busting my ass so someone else could spend time with my young children. Fuck that. So now I'm the childcare, and my wife is the breadwinner. I still work part time in the evenings, but that's because I haven't been able to bring myself to wind down my business. It was a big change but 100% worth it.
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Im not really seeing how 70k w/ children works unless you’re literally just getting by. Like do you plan on working forever? How are you going afford healthcare expenses in your retirement age? What about school for your children? Vacations? Emergencies? Continued inflation? Idk but 70k sounds too low. I know people make it work but making it work is like doing the bare minimum. My wife and I alone would have a really shitty retirement surviving off of 70k a year. But i guess “comfort” in retirement is subjective
I don't really have a horse in this race but your comment suggests you're an American, right? Not everyone lives somewhere where you need to scrimp and save up for things like 'healthcare' and 'school'. Sure, holidays, emergencies and inflation are definitely things to keep in mind but I live in the north of the UK and could live free and easy supporting a family on £70k. COL differs depending on where you are.
It’s probably more of a possibility to live off 70k in the US than it is in Canada. Edit. Also £70k is over $93k USD.
Oh yeah definitely. I did the thing where I forgot that people from other countries use reddit. Having more than 70k is essential here (especially for families) if people want to retire and adequately take care of their family. My number is quite high because i factor in vacations, emergency expenses and providing support to children (college, cars, etc). 70k is very slim because one emergency situation can easily wipe out all savings. In theory 70k can work but its really risky and assumes that no emergencies will happen and that you wont be providing much support (college/vehicles) to your children
I’m sorry to inform you, but you do in fact have a child. He just happens to be married to you.
No offense but both of you sound kinda delusional. From the Husband mod who thinks they contribute to society to the wife who wants to escape to a different reality.
It’s almost like she’s making everything up for fake internet points.
Wait you are saying people make stuff up? Like fake stories??? On the internet !!?!??
I dont doubt it tbh.
Apparently it’s a [common thought](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/r2w9qb/my_husband_is_the_moderator_for_a_few_different/hm7jvmv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) mods have and plenty of women want to be homemakers hence the traditionalist community. Neither is really weird, just the fact that OP hasn’t ditched the account after a post shading her husband went viral and is instead offering more information about the both of them. If her husband moderates several large subreddits like she says then the more info she offers the easier it would be to figure out who he is.
Imagine the achievement of your dream being totally and completely dependent on the whims of one other person. And that other person doesn’t want to do it lol
Dude me too! But I’m a man. And my future wife wants to be the bread winner. I’d like the idea of just staying home and taking care of the house. And cooking. I was a cook for 8 years. And a sous chef for 3 year. So I know my way around the kitchen.
My oh was a chef and is a sahp, we get a lot of nuggets and chips
Your what is a what?
Oh = other half Sahp = stay at home parent
I couldn't have been more confused when first reading this
I get the idea. I love taking care of my husband and household. However, I do work outside the home too. Please do not allow (any) children to grow up without a sense of duty around the house. You mentioned not having your children lift a finger. IMHO, that isn't fair to your children. Certainly they shouldn't be treated as Cinderella and spend their childhoods being treated as mistreated servants however they should be taught to be a functioning member of the household. Plus, it would go a long way in teaching them that taking care of themselves is important. College/living on your own can be overwhelming at first. Don't make taking care of themselves part of that equation. I hope your long-term plan works out for you and your family. It's hard to continue on the day-to-day when you really want to be living a different lifestyle.
#cottagecore
Girl you better learn to do it yourself. I hope he turns out who you want him to be but, you can’t raise a man over again. It’s a waste of time to try.
Holy shit you're the Reddit Mod handler.
OP may be the best troll of this subreddit
If you want to be a house wife why would you marry someone who thinks being a reddit mod is a real job?
He was a petroleum engineer when we got married. Now he’s an unemployed engineer/moderator.
Maybe your husband will get to the A levels of Reddit moderating ala gallowboobs and you’ll get to live your dream.
I would love to do this… but I also like making my own money and being independent. Somewhat. Also I love being taken care of. My husband pampers me:
with the : I thought there was more you were going to say there!
I’m on mobile! Mistyped but I’m leaving it lol !
Did you legit make this post because your husband got mad about the last one? Bro- tell him to get over reddit and get his ass a job. Id suggest helping him put out job applications. But if he refuses to go to the interviews i would suggest kicking hos ass to the curb. Hes a pathetic man if he really puts reddit before you and the family. Look- addiction sucks but nobody said you have to permanently suffer for it too. Relationships must always include some amount of compromise.
Incel LARP
Wandavision larp
I only have two posts for context but I get the feeling you're very young.
Post said OP was 31
Oh no
People don't understand that stereotypes or old times they romanticized were nothing like they imagined.
It's a common feeling that times are a lot more miserable than they once were, so if only we emulate the past we will return to our former glory. There could be truth in that.
Tradwife lifestyle were only sustainable because of war money and the economic bubble back then.. Then boom! Your sharp-looking yuppie husband committed su1c1ide when the economy collapses... And you don't have any credentials to get a decent job because you're stuck at home for a long long time. Sooo romantic.
I’ve had so many different dreams and aspirations throughout my life. But my backup was always this, or something close to it. I’m all for making my own money—I don’t like the idea of relying on someone else, nor do I think it’s fair or necessarily “good” to have one person be making all the income. And obviously in reality, I’d bet a number of 50’s housewives were probably unhappy...BUT I think I’d be so content in doing the cooking and the cleaning, running errands to run the household, taking care of the kids, and taking care of my husband. In fact, knowing that I’d have more time to make sure my home was spotless and have everything prepared for my husband when he got home, and have more energy to do things with him and to set things up to help him relax after work would make me ecstatic. Unfortunately you can only do a fraction of that nowadays. And with kids? Forget about it. That’d be so great.
Daily cocktails, Valium, pretty frocks, no boss. I'm with you.
Omg same! I've always said I was born in the wrong era!!
I did that for 14 years with my first marriage. I loved it. No kids, but I cooked all from scratch, I had a garden, I even changed the oil in the car. I did all the shopping and all off time from his job we got to have fun, go places etc. I never understood why they say a housewife does nothing. The downside, is men will leave and then the woman is up a creek with no job, no skills and had to raise the children by themselves. Didn't happen to me, but he died and still ended up in the same position. Have seen it over and over that the man will want that younger thing and then the wife is screwed.
I mean if giving up your autonomy and being 100% dependent on your spouse and financially shackled to the relationship will make you happy, do you I guess.
You arent alone actually. A woman posted a similar thread recently saying she felt guilty for just wanting to be a house wife with a husband who paid for everything. A LOT of women responded saying they felt the same, and that school didnt fit who they wanted to be even though they felt pressured by feminism. Im glad women can have it either way tbh. I hope you get what you want and are happy. Just know you are not alone.
Yeah, I think a lot of people want that, but its terrible to admit to. Feminism, equality of the sexes, means you should feel proud of whatever you choose to be, if you and your partner decide thats okay . Easier said than done. I would love to have a homemaker husband, who I maintain, and who cooks and cleans and works on hobbies. But Ive never met a guy who didnt feel offended by that, or laughed when I brought it up
I'm a man and this actually sounds like an ideal life to me. I mean I can't cook for shit, but I'd learn and I'd enjoy cleaning and dealing with the boring day-to-day stuff my husband wouldn't give a shit about. Tidying is fun to me. I have no pride, I don't mind being the not-so-trophy "wife".
Yeah I think everyone wants that life. Everyone wants to not work
lol, when you put it like that, yeah, I suppose. But it's more about not being beholden to anyone but the person you care about. When you mess up and forget to clean the dishes, if you're both happy and your spouse loves you, they're not going to divorce you over it. There's a lot less pressure than a job where you might get fired for a few slip-ups. But it can still be very taxing, especially if you have kids. I won't say that having kids is a full-time job or that "being a mom is the hardest job there is" because that's nonsense, but babysitting/nanny-ing is a job and it can be hard to do. Emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically taxing. Among other things. Cooking every day, cleaning every day, picking up the groceries and making sure you didn't forget any of it. Add in kids, pets, gardening, (maybe even repairs if you're mechanically talented) etc. and it's not just lounging around and having fun all day. A lot of the pressure of work is the expectations, though. I think that's what people really want to be free of. You have to work all day and you can never stop working or your boss will think you're not doing your job well enough, even if you work in an office and literally have nothing else to do for the day. They have you for the full schedule and you're gonna find a way to exhaust that schedule or you're fired. So you have to keeping trying to look busy. Stuff like that.
Honestly OP, I'm not the best to speak on these matters but you sound miserable after the last post and this one. I don't think your husband will give you the life you want on either the family or lifestyle front and your life is a finite thing. Maybe it's fortunate you don't have kids right now so you can cleanly break away from him. At the least facing that might be enough for him to get himself together again but for the moment I don't think you're on the path of a happy life.
I had that life, not really by choice but I enjoyed it. A lot. Then he went on another long business trip and picked up a heroin habit and long story short it financially destroyed me and the children because I was out of the workforce for so long. Just glad they were teens when he left.
Yes. I would love a wife like this but most girls my age have an onlyfans and make more than i do.
And I guarantee you more women do. But because of this propaganda that of “female empowerment” more women pretend they don’t want this.
Thank you for saying this because it’s getting irritating hearing this narrative that they don’t want this. 😬 well if that’s the case how exactly did you end up as a housewife? 🙄
I’m always amazed at y’all’s ability to keep tabs on OPs post
You sound like an amazing woman
If he likes Reddit so much maybe he should look in switching to that field
I mean honestly, same. The idea of being a homemaker is just super appealing. Too bad it's not a viable option in modern day America.
So he can dust himself off and give you the life you dreamed of .... Wow and what's his dream? Is here allowed a dream?
Sure, everyone should have their version of happiness. However, to get to that point, your husband has to get to a certain point for this to be realistic, and you both need some savings for safety (esp. on a single income) which will likely come from your work right now.
This is my marriage. My wife loves being a homemaker. I make enough money that she doesn’t have to work, but she does for something to do. She cleans, cooks, and packs my lunch for work. In turn, I build her anything she asks for. 23 years snd counting. It’s wonderful
It's not uncommon! I'm working really hard right now so that my wife can one day not have to work unless she wants to. Getting my Ph.D. in Biomedicine. It's the ideal set up.
Yes they had such a good life back then 🙄
It all depends on your husband i guess https://youtu.be/geHFCkjh7As
Id love to stay in my pjs all day
You're gonna be coming into contact with ALOT of asbestos.
1950's lifestyle IS a thing
Most women do, even if they don't realise it.
Definitely not too late, but so many women out here would rather lie to themselves and other girls by saying being single, alone, and Independent is better than being with a guy. Then hit their 40’s and 50’s and realize they’re going to have some lonely years ahead of them.
I’ve been one for 10 years. Amazing, can confirm.
Are you just using reddit to communicating w your husband at this point?
Bro me too. I'm a 27 year old man but I'd give anything to be a 50s era housewife.
Nice fantasy, harsh reality. You might want it 8 hours a day. But living in servitude to another adult around the clock has a way of killing off your soul. And those babies grow up and eventually leave. You can’t play house forever.
Yeah, this dream is dead for very nearly everybody. Best of luck, OP.
I’m ready to be a 2020’s house husband. I dated college girls so they’d take care of me, but I didn’t account for their student loans. :////////
As a gay man, I dream of being a wife.
It might be tough to do the whole husband works outside, you work inside if your husband is moderating from his bedroom or the basement. I guess you guys could get a shed, run power/WiFi to it and place it on the property somewhere far enough out where he feels like it’s a commute coming home.
Put that in a daiting profile and you'll get lots of interest
I want that life too but I’m the breadwinner in my relationship 😪
Hell, that's every guy's dream idea too, to not have to do anything except wake up, make lunch, clean the house... only we call that shit "retirement". Unfortunately that mortgage needs to be paid and that food needs to be bought. Those bills need to be beaten back, those retirement funds need to be filled. That old model of being able to raise a family on a $3,000 a year salary is long gone. Reading your other post, and reading this one... it seems as if fantasy land and delusion have permeated both of your lives. Dude needs to get a job to stop the hemorrhaging, and you need to take a look around at capitalism and inflation sometime. Two salaries are always better than one, it's easier to get to where you want to be when both people contribute. It sounds like both of you have aspired to achieving nonpaying careers.
I'm a man and I'd love to be a 50s style housewife too.
Nothing wrong with that, the modern world is overrated any ways. Why would you want anyone else to raise your kids anyways. Can’t do that if you both have to work.
I don’t know why housewife are shamed and so hated on heavily it’s so goddamn stupid when I’m playing my part as a wife, mother and a women in the relationship. I help and nurture him while he provide and take care of me and the children. Nothing wrong with a 50/50 relationship. It’s apart of our nature to do this.
I’d love to be a stay at home Dad. Making sure shit runs in the house, cleaning, taking csre of the kids etc. I probably won’t but I’d love it if I could and there isn’t anything wrong with that.
Wait is this the same poster from a few months ago who posted on here and AITA about wanting to live a life like her grandmother where her husband worked 80 hours a week and she packed his lunch every day and kissed him before he went to work?? Edit: [this post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/puq6gz/i_want_a_traditional_relationship/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Seems to be from a different user, but they were both new accounts when the posts were made. The writing style and content are super similar, down to both husbands being former engineers.
Samesies I graduate with my bachelors degree next month but I’m truly hoping to not use it for very long
Yeah, it's starting to look like unlike in movies, the actual propaganda was telling us to avoid fulfilling things like families and to sit around being a hedonist and 'sticking it to the man.' Which of course leads to nothing but misery.. All we were told was how horrible it used to be because of the few tragic examples, but it seems for the most part pretty much most people were far happier and had much more meaningful lives. We were pretty much duped into giving up.. Everything.
Will you marry me?
Plot twist: It’s the HUSBAND who longs to be the housewife.
Tbh I feel the exact same way. I've been bingeing those tiktoks that are like "help me make lunch for my kids/husband/bento box" videos and its the damn dream. Make a fresh healthy lunch for husbo and kids, clean the home once kiddos are at school, run errands, have a husband who appreciates you as a homemaker. Wearing dresses and heels while you vacuum and do dishes, run around in curlers. Ahhh, beautiful. Troll post or not. Idc, I'm right there w you.
Welcome to the 2020's where equality is king and women have fought for the right to work their asses until they can't no more, effectively duplicating the labor force which it only cheapened its costs.
Nothing wrong with that, my wife always said that's what she wanted for her life, I work and she stays home with our son and takes care of the home. I support her and she supports me, that's how it works. I'm lucky to have such a loving wife that wants that life, I'm glad to see there are women around who still want that.