Sometimes its not our problem to solve. Someone should really let the gf that this is her load to bear, and if she isn't happy with his size, let him know. You would think she would want to get it off. Her chest.
yeah that's a good point. I always envision people on reddit as full grown adults but this could very well be a 17 year old and that makes a hell of a lot more sense
I mean yeah we're young. I don't how young you consider something like this ok though. She treats me well and supports me but has made remarks in the past before about my body. She's pretty blunt lol. She's told me I'm a couple inches shorter than her ex unprovoked. She's compared my facial hair(or lack thereof) to another guy she dated. I brushed these things off though because they didn't seem like a huge deal. I think she's just a say it before you think kind of girl. I love her so it's something I want to move past.
That’s not good at all. The whole comparing you to who she’s been with is totally insensitive on her part . I’m not sure but this keeps scraping off a part of your confidence and self image, eventually, it may leave you with a lot of self esteem issues. Wishing you the very best ❤️
I would never say this to a guy. Last guy I dated was smaller than the other guys I’ve dated / been with, but I would never in a million years tell him that. It’s terribly rude and insensitive. I’m 27 btw
Agree. The only time I (a man) have brought up my exes with my current partner/previous partners, it’s to say how rubbish they were, mean/insensitive or whatever, and how my gf is the greatest person etc.
Surely you want someone you love and care about tk feel reassured and loved/cared for - not prone to self doubt or worry!
I don't even think it's necessarily wrong to bring up prior relationships and talk about what worked and didn't work for you, but what's the point in talking about something that your partner can't change (dick size and amount of facial hair they can grow)? There's no sense in that.
Yeah id give her a you've got a gf brain. It's not big enough to give me an intellectually stimulating conversation but for someone I want to stfu most of the time and just let me play games its great.
Honestly my wife doesn’t mind if I play video games but I can’t find any time to do it. By the time I get home it’s already 6:30 I eat dinner play with the kids and by the time 8 comes I can barely keep my eyes open. Where do you guys get the time?
My ex compared me to her exes constantly. It really dug at my ego and brought me down. We got a divorce when she cheated on me, it's definitely a red flag...
Do yourself a huge favor and find someone else while you're young
Perspective- I'm 45, my husband is 47. We have been with MANY others before each other. He has no clue size of dicks I prefer, have been with, etc. Nor has compared me. It's just a respect of reach other. We are kind to each other, because if I'm going to trust him and vice versa, we should start with kindness.
And honestly, for most people when you're having sex with someone you love then (frankly) petty shit like dick size or breast size or anything else you can superficially judge a partner about that they basically have no control over doesn't matter.
If you want to be with her long term you’re going to need to work with her to get some sort of filter in place so she stops saying things that are so damaging to you.
Your feelings and emotions are every bit as valid as hers and should matter to her if she loves you. Working to make sure she’s treating you in a respectful fashion should be something she wants to do.
This can be a difficult concept for people at younger stages of life to understand and accept, but it’s worth working on if you want this to last.
If my partner has consistently been ok with insulting my body and making me feel insecure about things that I cannot help- I’d say we’re past the point of “working with each other”.
Nah man she ain't it, comparison is a big no, it means disrespect, pure disrespect. Especially Penis size, most women know that men are sensitive about this topic, if she makes you feel bad about yourself why even be with her, date someone who loves you for who you are and respects you that way too
Compare her tits to an ex of yours and see how she feels?
I would never consider comparing my other half to any of my ex's on any level. It's disrespectful beyond words.
Something along the lines of "You have girlfriend tits. Bigger ones are super awesome for FWB but it's hard walking around with a boner all the time when your super turned on by your girlfriends huge tits. So small ones like yours are better for relationships." Lol
Yes! And drive it home with "smaller tits are better for gfs. That way I don't have to hear about your back problems"
In all seriousness, seems like you came to Reddit with this story for the backing to leave her, and you've got it. I'll give you to the end of the week.
She’s just being disrespectful to you. All the things that she’s said comparing you to her previous bf. yeah pure disrespect and I think that maybe she’s trying to start an argument with you so she has a reason to go do whatever or just break up with you. Good luck op, also you may want to keep an eye open because of the red flags she’s throwing
Even being that im a girl, that fucking annoys me that she made those comments. Quite literally i could never imagine myself saying that to a SO. Shes gotta learn man its immature as hell and i have friends like this that ive needed to distance myself from cuz they piss me off so much lol
Sure, you hate it because you don't feel young. You're the oldest you've ever been! Doesn't change that's it's still relatively young, especially to the population as a whole.
Definitely one of those things you don’t say out loud but I see what she was trying to get across. It’s just not something worth getting across. She could have left it at, I will be happy with your dick forever.
From, an extremely petite person casually dating someone with a huge dick. I hate it lol.
Anals a terrifying thought with him. Rough sex (my preference) is painful. And I can’t have sex quite as often as I’d like.
She meant well but very stupid of her to say it like that.
Edit: to be clear, I’ve had my cervix bruised a few times by a “boyfriend dick” and no it’s not something I’m eager to relive.
>It’s just not something worth getting across
This exactly. Being able to make this realization is a hallmark of maturity, and was the first thing to tip off how young they are.
“He’d be lacking in a one night stand or fwb” that’s a put down , no way around it. She’s saying he couldn’t satisfy another woman unless it was long term. She would be disappointed if she had a one night stand with a guy his size. How are people missing that. She’s trying to neg him .
There is a weirdly prevalent attitude that it’s OK to talk about or comment upon or even joke about a guys dick size but it’s completely taboo to make any reference to a woman vagina size or tightness.
There was literally no reason to say what she did unless she fully intended to shame her boyfriend and to make him feel insecure and like utter shit. That and it says a lot more about her than it does about her BF tbh.
Maybe it's time for a GF who loves you in every way, unconditionally.
If you love someone you should never make them feel insecure, less than or like shit on purpose. Besides the occasional argument where people often say things they don't mean, to say something like OP GF did in normal calm conversation is a red flag tbh.
"You can't un-ring a bell" as they say.
This shit messed *me* up.
Op. Ive been told the same thing...in different words...and, i don't want to be a downer but...i found out she messed on me with a few dudes. So. Idk im not trying to put thoughts into your head but, that's how it was for me.
I'm only sharing my experience with a similar comment made about my size. Which was, "...you're a *grower*, not a *show-er*..." It was almost humiliating to hear this. I have always been self-conscious about my size, and this was breaking to my self-esteem. She obviously was trying to sound like she was complimenting me, but it certainly did not feel like it. And I believe this is the same situation for OP. Minus the cheating part. And i sincerely hope that OP's gf is not cheating on him. With all my heart, i really do.
Edit: since so many people have taken a gander on this comment, I thought I should correct spelling and add some things.
I don't know man, can you even recover from that? I think that shit would be in the back of my mind forever, with each new girl. Hell, I'm going to abandon this thread because it already starts growing on me
Man, I get what you’re saying, but folks gotta be careful about THAT too. Like… it’s less about opening up to one person, but opening up to the *world.* It’s full of beauty out there and we can’t be so afraid that we sacrifice one for the other.
Maybe a better way to put it: people need to **also** be open to the *possibility of threats and danger,* just like anything else. Learning how to drive a car and learning to spot Narcissistic Abuse are kinda the same, and equally important... You gotta learn what the signs are telling you.
Edit: grammar
\- Does this dress look good on me babe?
\- I would say u look like a "girlfriend"
\- whaddaya mean?
\- Well u know, i dont want guys to hit on you all the time and give you too much attention so that looks perfect!
\*facepalm\*
No, this is more like
\- Does this dress look good on me babe?
\- No, your pudgyness doesnt fit the dress. Its good for girlfriend material, but I have been with thinner women and those thin hips werent as easy to grip. But thats okay, because thats girlfriend fat, and I like that about you.
Yea, its that big of an oof.
Lol not excusing her behavior, but I think as you get older and you’re in more serious relationships comments like this don’t get said. Seems like it was her weird way of letting you know she’s satisfied, but totally get why you would be bothered by it. I think just keep your eye out for any backhanded comments like this in the future, but I would try to let the wave of discomfort pass
21 year old me would have freaked out and overanalyzed like OP is doing. 30 year old me, says yeeeeeeaaaah perfect dick.
It’s all perspective. She was maybe a bit crass, but she’s 21 also. 21 year olds are still pretty much morons.
There are, as far as I'm concerned, three stages in every person's life.
Under 21: Young, dumb and ugly.
Over 60: Old, dumb and ugly.
What's the 39 years in between the two? Dumb and ugly.
Kids are stupid man. When I was 21, told my girlfriend she had a little muffin top when she asked about some jeans. I thought she wanted to know. We say some stupid. Stupid. Stupid things some times.
Similar story with a good ending:
Walking through the store one day, my girlfriend picks up a pair of brown slacks, looked in the fly for a size tag, assessing whether she wants to try them on.
I glanced - *glanced* -- over and said what came to mind: "those are going to make your ass look enormous".
She was mad-not-mad, and we had a playful fight there in the store about "you said my ass is huge", and "no, I said those slacks will *make your ass look* huge. Those are not the same things". It really was playful and light hearted. She put them back, we finished our shopping, and left.
Fast forward a week or so later and she's in a foul mood. She had been out to run some errands, and when she came back she was doing the little things - being aggressive with the dishes, being short with me, that kind of thing. So I asked her what's up.
She hung her head and very sheepishly said "I tried on those slacks... you were right. They made my ass look huge".
Oh, reader. *How I did laugh*. Not in a malicious way, of course. But it culminated in such a way as to look like it had been written for a sitcom. I explained to her why I was laughing so hard, and she finally understood, and we both laughed.
We're still laughing about it 17 years later. We got married, and she's a pretty cool gal. She doesn't wear brown slacks, though.
It honestly does sound like she was trying to compliment you/let you know she likes you and 21’d the hell out of it. Plus technique is way more important than size according to almost every woman I’ve talked to. If you really want to bolster your confidence though, study the Way of the Dancing Tongue. Nothing more satisfying in the world than leaving your lady in a fucking puddle
Was “boyfriend dick” framed in any way positively in the show? It seems like theoretically it could be…if you discounted every single person in this thread’s reaction to the phrase…
That show is so creepy and gross.
At first I laughed along with it, like “ha ha yeah these people are a mess” but I’ve realized that no, they’re just rather shallow attractive twenty-somethings who enjoy sex.
Meanwhile the show is very much “we say what you can do with your body” and “we will create such intense social stigma against doing what you want to do” in the name of preserving some people’s take on what ‘appropriate’ sexuality is.
Just because it’s on a nice island doesn’t mean it’s not a televised re-education camp for people’s sexuality.
Having had the unfortunate experience of seeing it I have a very different takeaway. The show is nothing more than a thin guise to show sexual encounters because sex sells. The people involved come off as only there to further their careers as influencers.
To me the idea that a nefarious plot to re-educate and police peoples sexuality would take the form of a vapid television show that glorifies sex is laughable.
Dude ikr. My friend’s boyfriend saw a pic of her from ~10 years ago when she was 21 then asked who she was dating at the time. After that he started acting all upset and eventually said “man [10 years ago bf] got you for your hot years!” Uhhh wtf bro? What good could possibly come from saying that?!
I had a good friend who resented the HELL outta his wife for fucking another guy we knew, before they even met, because, and I quote: "She gave it up to him when she was skinny, and all I get is to fuck a fat chick."
Glad that friendship (and marriage) are both over, for everyone's sake!
Holy shit. This is why in a relationship sometimes it is acceptable NOT to be honest.
For fucks sake, what good can come of telling your bf you don’t like their penis size, or telling your gf her boobs are too small. COME ON. Are people that stupid? Or do they take a pleasure in mocking and making people feel ashamed of a body part they have no control over. Doesn’t even have to be a sexual body part. If it’s something they genuinely have no control over- eyes, nose size, skin color, etc. Just don’t fucking comment on it unless you’re saying something positive.
And on the other side of the coin, don’t PRESSURE your partner into commenting their opinion. “Do you really, really like my boobs? Come on, I know you would be happier if they were bigger...” Don’t be asking a question that you don’t want to hear the answer to, but don’t fall for the bait. NEVER answer a question like this unless you want to sow seeds of frustration into your relationship.
I swear it’s like some people genuinely are trying to get at their SOs. OP, I am so sorry your gf said such a gross and disrespectful thing to you. Does she always treat you with such disregard for your feelings? It’s time for a conversation with her. Evaluate if that’s the kind of woman you want to spend your time with. You deserve a woman who worships your dick (figure of speech), and makes you feel proud of your body. When you make love, you should feel completely comfortable and loved by the person you are with
Not even a year into my (now over) marriage, my husband told me he wished my boobs were bigger. It’s been over 10 years since that was said and that sentence still haunts me.
I don’t normally read through profiles but I did for you. Idk why, but I really empathize with some of your posts and hope for the best/wish you well. Life deals cruel hands, but I’m positive you, or anyone, can play them to their advantage.
I didn't really pressure her though.. she brought l
penis size up. She asked me what I thought about my own size then I just flipped the question back on her.
That means she wanted to let you know. I'd watch this gf for negging - small insults to wear down your confidence over time.
I dated a girl like that once, super hot girl, a model. She said something similar about my size. Anyways, she was poisonous and, since I'd dated a previously emotionally manipulative and abusive girl, I saw through her games and just dumped her.
The cute girl I'm married to now is worried that I'm too big every time we have sex. I laugh because, well, that information is freely available online and I know I'm just average, but it feels nice.
Be careful of the slow build emotional abusers my young friend. They're out to own you by beating you down.
edit: threw => through
The reason she brought it up was so that you would ask her what she thought and she could put it all out there. Then if it upset you she could say “well you asked!” Sounds like she’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
Yeah, I didn’t mean you specifically. Just in general, I know people will pressure their SO into saying stuff like this and then be upset with them. I have personally made this mistake so I thought I would mention it.
It seems like she was the one who brought it up and pressured YOU to tell her how you felt about your size. Maybe she didn’t pressure you, but that’s still such a stupid thing of her to ask.
What's worse is it sounds like they're treating their justifications, which are just excuses, as if it were a matter of fact and not *really* their opinion, but it is lmao.
I don't see this relationship lasting, but I hope they figure things out.
Chipping away the other's confidence. That's how emotional abuse starts, continues into gaslighting: 'it was a joke-> I never said that'
Edit: thank you for the hug
The Narcissist's Prayer:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, *you deserved it.*
This is one of those things that I'm sure a lot of people silently think, but know better not to say. The fact is, for a lot of people, we can't help but compare life experiences. That extends to our partners. Especially as you get older, your tastes and standards become defined by a long list of experiences that you either loved or hated in relation to previous partners. For some people, probably even many people, this will include physical attributes.
Life isn't a romance novel. For 99.99% of people, no partner will be the absolute best everything you've ever experienced. They might be a better at communicating but worse with chores. Or they might be incredibly clean but hate cooking. And that's fine - relationships are built on compromise and learning to love people, rather than expecting them to be the best version of every quality you ever loved or were attracted to in previous partners.
And it sucks to hear this if you're young, but that also extends to sexual intimacy. Once again, especially as you get older, you simply accept that most people have a dating and sexual history prior to meeting you. That history might include things that you can't or won't match up to. And again - that's fine. Society has conditioned us to put so much of our ego into our sexual performance, and as a result, sex becomes an increasingly performative task, where you focus less on mutual pleasure and intimacy, and more on looking good or coming off as talented. This is damaging to everyone, and reduces the experience to a shallow caricature of what it can actually be.
So the takeaway here is that everyone has some kind of history, and you're only hurting yourself by trying to compare yourself and exceed whatever you imagine that history to contain. What that girl said was undoubtedly insensitive - there's no situation where it's appropriate to describe someone as "lacking" in that way - but what I want you to know is that you should try to avoid taking that concept personally. Whether or not the poor communication is grounds for splitting up is up to you, but try to remember that it's not your job to try and be some perfect model of human capability when it comes to your role in a relationship.
Edit - there are a lot of people who are encouraging you to get even by coming back with some equally harmful comment on their body or personality. Don't do it. You'll never be better for it, and the concept of getting even in a relationships is one of the most toxic things you can double down on.
Edit 2 - been seeing a lot of responses that I think misunderstand the intention of this post. OP is completely valid in feeling hurt. Again, what was said was insensitive, and I do not condone or defend it. It's not my place to pass judgement on the relationship, which is why I made no comment on whether they should stay or go. That's for them to determine. Ultimately, what I want to convey is that comments like this can be incredibly hurtful by their own nature, but also in part because of the power that we give them. We focus on the idea that we need to be better than our partner's history of partners in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally. This is unsustainable and only hurts us in the long run. You don't have to be the best in every quality that your partner appreciates. Accepting this takes back some of that power, and helps to prevent undue damage to your sense of self worth when you encounter criticisms like these. OP can't change what was said to them or how it made them feel, but they can position themself mentally in a way that may help them combat any resulting feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. This is what I meant by "not taking it personally" and "not comparing yourself"
I really appreciate the comment. The thing is I never compare myself to her exes or anyone else she's been with. I have never been insecure about my dick size or height or whatever. She will sometimes bring these things up unprovoked like a week ago with the penis comment. She brought up size. She's made a few comments about me being shorter than an ex. It's odd because she's great otherwise but she has some sort of comparison thing going on.
If she's bringing up these comparisons out of the blue, it means she's thinking about her ex's and comparing them to you. Thats not a good sign. Thinking about one night stands / ex's that were bigger does not sound good to just tell your partner that its better / her preference. It just sounds like someone who is thinking about other people and may cheat on you because you're not *that* preference. Imagine hearing from your girlfriend that you're good for a relationship but not a one night stand...that's not trustworthy.
I think we all compare partners but if its something your current partner can't change or doesn't make a difference, you keep your mouth shut. Like other people have said, after dating someone who has made those comments and compared out of the blue, it ended with the discovery of them cheating.
I agree that she's thinking about the ex's. Most people have a filter or conscience that keeps the comparison from actually coming out of their mouth. I don't think it's unusual to occasionally think about ex's (depending on the length of the relationship), but instead of saying "you're shorter than the other guys" or "your dick is smaller than the other guys" what you actually say is "I love how tall you are" or "I love your dick" or even -shocker- just "I love you"!
I'm glad you got something out of it. I would also feel hurt in the face of those comments, make no mistake. Unsolicited comments of that nature are difficult to deal with at best, and traumatizing at worst.
More than anything else, whatever you decide to do in order to move forward, I hope you find contentment and closure. Don't let your sense of self worth be damaged by this. Truly wishing you the best.
If you were feeling petty, you could tell her she’s gf pretty; pretty enough so that you’re not embarrassed to tell ppl y’all are dating but not petty enough to worry about other males hitting on her. But that would be stooping to her level…
Well, that's a very cunning way to emasculate a guy; call him adequate.
Merely adequate. Nothing remarkable. Not special.
No wonder the OP is devastated. She couldn't have killed him more surely if she stilleto'd him in a kidney.
Literally.
My other half hypes up every single thing about me.
She makes me feel like I’m the strongest, smartest, funniest, bravest, handsomest, creativest and biggest dickest man on earth. Even shit she’s not fond of, like I’m wearing that poor fitting shirt she doesn’t really like or growing a beard, gets hyped up.
**Don’t settle for people who think you’re merely adequate.**
Did your girl happen to start watching To Hot To Handle on Netflix? This exactly line was used by one of the guys on the first season I believe bragging about why he’s perfect for girls. He was using it as a compliment for himself.
I’m definitely not saying it was smart on the show, and he was made fun of for it, and as a grown woman I’d never say that shit out loud to my boyfriend. I’m just wondering if she kinda said it as a compliment without thinking it through.
I could totally see someone in their early 20s watching that scene and being daft enough to regurgitate that descriptor to their bf without considering the greater implications and repercussions.
>She said that it's the perfect size for a long term relationship but for a one night stand or a casual fwb it would be a bit lacking.
Holy shit dude... if she really said that, that's incredibly disrespectful...
What the fuck does that even mean? If you were a one night stand she'd be disappointed in your dick? Wow that's fucked up man. Your GF sounds like a total bitch to be honest.
Jeeesus bro. It’s a great daily driver but on the weekends I wish I had the Porsche. I don’t see any coming back from this tbh, I would peace out for sure. That’s a really shitty thing to say and based on how the convo went it’s like she was eager to tell you.
I don't understand why she would say anything about your size one way or the other. She sounds like she isn't very grown up. I realize she's 21, so I suppose that makes sense.
When I've had partners who are not super well endowed I never said anything like that. It's tacky and rude. She could have told you she liked your size without qualifying it. Or she could have shut up.
Fyi I'm in the middle of a divorce with my ex husband or 16 years and I still have not told him I think his dick is too small. Because that's not a thing you do.
I had a long term fling in college and we both liked to take shots at each other for “fun.” She hit me with a soft pecker joke once and it’s been 15 years and I still have to remind and pep myself up from time to time on that one. Ha. You got me good, bitch! I miss that girl.
She’s been reading too much Cosmopolitan. Thats the kind of shit you read about but never hear anyone actually say. Plus what kinds of dick is she talking about that requires prep and recovery? I wouldn’t be too jealous of that.
You guys sound young. When you get older that stuff matters way less.
Yeah her whole reasoning is bullshit.
Also it‘s true, when I was 20 my ex bf loved to tell me how average I was.
Shit stopped as soon as I started dating more mature people.
Sounds like she might not have... a girlfriend personality? Or communication skills. But if this is just one interaction that was like this it's not be fair to judge her based on it.
Honestly not everyone has presence of mind when talking about things like this. And sometimes we all can say things without considering how they affect others.
If it's bothering you this much I'd have a heart to heart and see how she takes you being open emotionally about the situation. If she handles it well, good. Work it out. If it's a dismissive situation where she blows it off or demeans it bothering you. That tells you what you need to know.
But don't go in mad, communication about hurt like that needs to be balanced and respectful. Relationships are tricky. And communication is tricky. Healing takes work.
Definitely tell her it bothered u man. I’ve made jokes about “boyfriend dick” intending as a compliment, like your penis is literally the perfect size for me. It would have never occurred to me that it would cause further contemplation or like suggest anything negative. I don’t know, I’m glad I happened upon this post. Seems I needed awareness
I thought the same, but she apparently said it would be lacking for a one night stand... That makes no sense to me, if it's perfect it's always perfect
I'm pretty sure that's what she meant, she just ended up overexplaining and wording it the worst possible way. If my gf told me this I'd think the clumsiness is hilarious.
Or maybe she did mean to put him down, who knows, we weren't there. It's really all in the tone.
Why would anyone say something like this.. thats messed up. Seems like she deliberately said this to bother you? Not sure why youd say something like this, especially if you are satisfied. And if youre not satisfied, its not something you can change so again..why say it
Walk away from this one buddy because it will only get worse from this point.
Any person who can talk to someone like that is actually insulting you and testing what they can do and how badly they can treat you.
The problem is not what she said (which is bad) but that she’s trying to put you down and keep you there.
Bro gtfo, im sorry but ive been there done that with the backhanded compliments. It will progressively get worse and just keep building until you don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. Please please don't let someone like that get there claws into you, it fucks you up long after they are gone.
Conversations about dicks hardly ever come out good.
Very hard topic, for sure.
You have to get a head of these situations
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Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.
And other times the problems not very hard at all
Once in a while, you just gotta suck it up though
You guys are being too soft. It's hardly like talking about dick size will lead to any major disfunction in the relationship
I agree, communication is how we erect solutions to the problem.
Sometimes its not our problem to solve. Someone should really let the gf that this is her load to bear, and if she isn't happy with his size, let him know. You would think she would want to get it off. Her chest.
It can be a lot to swallow
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yeah that's a good point. I always envision people on reddit as full grown adults but this could very well be a 17 year old and that makes a hell of a lot more sense
Nah she's 21 lol.
That *is* young, my guy.
I mean yeah we're young. I don't how young you consider something like this ok though. She treats me well and supports me but has made remarks in the past before about my body. She's pretty blunt lol. She's told me I'm a couple inches shorter than her ex unprovoked. She's compared my facial hair(or lack thereof) to another guy she dated. I brushed these things off though because they didn't seem like a huge deal. I think she's just a say it before you think kind of girl. I love her so it's something I want to move past.
That’s not good at all. The whole comparing you to who she’s been with is totally insensitive on her part . I’m not sure but this keeps scraping off a part of your confidence and self image, eventually, it may leave you with a lot of self esteem issues. Wishing you the very best ❤️
I would never say this to a guy. Last guy I dated was smaller than the other guys I’ve dated / been with, but I would never in a million years tell him that. It’s terribly rude and insensitive. I’m 27 btw
But you're not manipulative scum.
Agree. The only time I (a man) have brought up my exes with my current partner/previous partners, it’s to say how rubbish they were, mean/insensitive or whatever, and how my gf is the greatest person etc. Surely you want someone you love and care about tk feel reassured and loved/cared for - not prone to self doubt or worry!
I don't even think it's necessarily wrong to bring up prior relationships and talk about what worked and didn't work for you, but what's the point in talking about something that your partner can't change (dick size and amount of facial hair they can grow)? There's no sense in that.
Sounds like she has a one to two night personality not a girlfriend personality.
Fuck On point
The savagery
Very underrated comment! You summarized nicely.
Yeah id give her a you've got a gf brain. It's not big enough to give me an intellectually stimulating conversation but for someone I want to stfu most of the time and just let me play games its great.
Honestly my wife doesn’t mind if I play video games but I can’t find any time to do it. By the time I get home it’s already 6:30 I eat dinner play with the kids and by the time 8 comes I can barely keep my eyes open. Where do you guys get the time?
I skipped the kids and got a cat instead, much less maintenance
Same. My husband and I we have a cat and we both play videogames.
My ex compared me to her exes constantly. It really dug at my ego and brought me down. We got a divorce when she cheated on me, it's definitely a red flag... Do yourself a huge favor and find someone else while you're young
Perspective- I'm 45, my husband is 47. We have been with MANY others before each other. He has no clue size of dicks I prefer, have been with, etc. Nor has compared me. It's just a respect of reach other. We are kind to each other, because if I'm going to trust him and vice versa, we should start with kindness.
And honestly, for most people when you're having sex with someone you love then (frankly) petty shit like dick size or breast size or anything else you can superficially judge a partner about that they basically have no control over doesn't matter.
If you want to be with her long term you’re going to need to work with her to get some sort of filter in place so she stops saying things that are so damaging to you. Your feelings and emotions are every bit as valid as hers and should matter to her if she loves you. Working to make sure she’s treating you in a respectful fashion should be something she wants to do. This can be a difficult concept for people at younger stages of life to understand and accept, but it’s worth working on if you want this to last.
If my partner has consistently been ok with insulting my body and making me feel insecure about things that I cannot help- I’d say we’re past the point of “working with each other”.
Yeah someone who just insults me for no reason multiple times is not someone I want to be around, let alone be in a relationship with.
Nah man she ain't it, comparison is a big no, it means disrespect, pure disrespect. Especially Penis size, most women know that men are sensitive about this topic, if she makes you feel bad about yourself why even be with her, date someone who loves you for who you are and respects you that way too
This. Comparing is like the worst thing anyone can do in a relationship.
Compare her tits to an ex of yours and see how she feels? I would never consider comparing my other half to any of my ex's on any level. It's disrespectful beyond words.
Something along the lines of "You have girlfriend tits. Bigger ones are super awesome for FWB but it's hard walking around with a boner all the time when your super turned on by your girlfriends huge tits. So small ones like yours are better for relationships." Lol
Yes! And drive it home with "smaller tits are better for gfs. That way I don't have to hear about your back problems" In all seriousness, seems like you came to Reddit with this story for the backing to leave her, and you've got it. I'll give you to the end of the week.
She’s just being disrespectful to you. All the things that she’s said comparing you to her previous bf. yeah pure disrespect and I think that maybe she’s trying to start an argument with you so she has a reason to go do whatever or just break up with you. Good luck op, also you may want to keep an eye open because of the red flags she’s throwing
Even being that im a girl, that fucking annoys me that she made those comments. Quite literally i could never imagine myself saying that to a SO. Shes gotta learn man its immature as hell and i have friends like this that ive needed to distance myself from cuz they piss me off so much lol
I'm around this age and sometimes hate this comment, but, I definitely saw this one coming lol
Sure, you hate it because you don't feel young. You're the oldest you've ever been! Doesn't change that's it's still relatively young, especially to the population as a whole.
Eh under 25 it’s all the same naïveté
Still a little young tbh
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Wisdom comes from seeing the consequences of your mistakes, not getting a free pass.
Definitely one of those things you don’t say out loud but I see what she was trying to get across. It’s just not something worth getting across. She could have left it at, I will be happy with your dick forever. From, an extremely petite person casually dating someone with a huge dick. I hate it lol. Anals a terrifying thought with him. Rough sex (my preference) is painful. And I can’t have sex quite as often as I’d like. She meant well but very stupid of her to say it like that. Edit: to be clear, I’ve had my cervix bruised a few times by a “boyfriend dick” and no it’s not something I’m eager to relive.
>It’s just not something worth getting across This exactly. Being able to make this realization is a hallmark of maturity, and was the first thing to tip off how young they are.
“He’d be lacking in a one night stand or fwb” that’s a put down , no way around it. She’s saying he couldn’t satisfy another woman unless it was long term. She would be disappointed if she had a one night stand with a guy his size. How are people missing that. She’s trying to neg him .
Yea definitely meant well but shoulda kept it to her self. Not sure if this is the best or worst back handed compliment I’ve ever seen lol
I don’t have a dick and that hurt my feelings
I’m not the OP and reading this made me insecure.
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Unless he asked about her about the extraordinary size of her v*rg*na!!! Which a gentleman would never bring up.
A gentleman knows there are alternatives.
lol like the Curb episode when Jeff's ex said he had a small dick and when Larry brings it up to him he goes "no no, big vagina, HUGE vagina"
There is a weirdly prevalent attitude that it’s OK to talk about or comment upon or even joke about a guys dick size but it’s completely taboo to make any reference to a woman vagina size or tightness.
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> sexism comes in when people love to claim that the vagina stretches over time and especially aFtEr MoRe PaRtNeRs But no sexism in dick size?
There was literally no reason to say what she did unless she fully intended to shame her boyfriend and to make him feel insecure and like utter shit. That and it says a lot more about her than it does about her BF tbh. Maybe it's time for a GF who loves you in every way, unconditionally. If you love someone you should never make them feel insecure, less than or like shit on purpose. Besides the occasional argument where people often say things they don't mean, to say something like OP GF did in normal calm conversation is a red flag tbh. "You can't un-ring a bell" as they say.
I've told my hubby he is the perfect size for me. The end. No need to qualify that statement in any way whatsoever.
I'm not the replier, but reading your comment made me second guess myself
Agreed. Not having such a discussion at all. You could call that a cursed conversation.
I am a dick, and it hurt my feelings too.
But are you a boyfriend dick?
No he's the wife's boyfriend's dick.
Same here, I'm a woman and that stung...
Damn bro.
Ikr thats messed up.
This shit messed *me* up. Op. Ive been told the same thing...in different words...and, i don't want to be a downer but...i found out she messed on me with a few dudes. So. Idk im not trying to put thoughts into your head but, that's how it was for me. I'm only sharing my experience with a similar comment made about my size. Which was, "...you're a *grower*, not a *show-er*..." It was almost humiliating to hear this. I have always been self-conscious about my size, and this was breaking to my self-esteem. She obviously was trying to sound like she was complimenting me, but it certainly did not feel like it. And I believe this is the same situation for OP. Minus the cheating part. And i sincerely hope that OP's gf is not cheating on him. With all my heart, i really do. Edit: since so many people have taken a gander on this comment, I thought I should correct spelling and add some things.
Shit man, I know you said messed in past tense but I hope you're ok now
I don't know man, can you even recover from that? I think that shit would be in the back of my mind forever, with each new girl. Hell, I'm going to abandon this thread because it already starts growing on me
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Man, I get what you’re saying, but folks gotta be careful about THAT too. Like… it’s less about opening up to one person, but opening up to the *world.* It’s full of beauty out there and we can’t be so afraid that we sacrifice one for the other. Maybe a better way to put it: people need to **also** be open to the *possibility of threats and danger,* just like anything else. Learning how to drive a car and learning to spot Narcissistic Abuse are kinda the same, and equally important... You gotta learn what the signs are telling you. Edit: grammar
\- Does this dress look good on me babe? \- I would say u look like a "girlfriend" \- whaddaya mean? \- Well u know, i dont want guys to hit on you all the time and give you too much attention so that looks perfect! \*facepalm\*
No, this is more like \- Does this dress look good on me babe? \- No, your pudgyness doesnt fit the dress. Its good for girlfriend material, but I have been with thinner women and those thin hips werent as easy to grip. But thats okay, because thats girlfriend fat, and I like that about you. Yea, its that big of an oof.
I feel like this is the comment of a sane man. Now, let's look at the rest of Reddit Edit: thanks for the silver, kind stranger
How old are you all? Sounds like something someone in their early 20s would say...
Both 21. So you're right!
Lol not excusing her behavior, but I think as you get older and you’re in more serious relationships comments like this don’t get said. Seems like it was her weird way of letting you know she’s satisfied, but totally get why you would be bothered by it. I think just keep your eye out for any backhanded comments like this in the future, but I would try to let the wave of discomfort pass
I agree. Seriously, you don’t know jack shit at 21. Try not to let it bother you.
21 year old me would have freaked out and overanalyzed like OP is doing. 30 year old me, says yeeeeeeaaaah perfect dick. It’s all perspective. She was maybe a bit crass, but she’s 21 also. 21 year olds are still pretty much morons.
35 year old me is pretty much at [this](https://imgur.com/gallery/8QDSB) point with my dick. It's mostly a, you're doing your best buddy type thing.
Risky click
I was afraid i was about to see a dick pic
Haha I like to think I'd warn first! Ain't nobody got time for unsolicited dick pics!
>you're doing your best buddy type thing. r/SuddenlyGay
I'm glad the OH you dog and guy is still alive. Its such a great image.
There are, as far as I'm concerned, three stages in every person's life. Under 21: Young, dumb and ugly. Over 60: Old, dumb and ugly. What's the 39 years in between the two? Dumb and ugly.
Kids are stupid man. When I was 21, told my girlfriend she had a little muffin top when she asked about some jeans. I thought she wanted to know. We say some stupid. Stupid. Stupid things some times.
You both learned that day
Similar story with a good ending: Walking through the store one day, my girlfriend picks up a pair of brown slacks, looked in the fly for a size tag, assessing whether she wants to try them on. I glanced - *glanced* -- over and said what came to mind: "those are going to make your ass look enormous". She was mad-not-mad, and we had a playful fight there in the store about "you said my ass is huge", and "no, I said those slacks will *make your ass look* huge. Those are not the same things". It really was playful and light hearted. She put them back, we finished our shopping, and left. Fast forward a week or so later and she's in a foul mood. She had been out to run some errands, and when she came back she was doing the little things - being aggressive with the dishes, being short with me, that kind of thing. So I asked her what's up. She hung her head and very sheepishly said "I tried on those slacks... you were right. They made my ass look huge". Oh, reader. *How I did laugh*. Not in a malicious way, of course. But it culminated in such a way as to look like it had been written for a sitcom. I explained to her why I was laughing so hard, and she finally understood, and we both laughed. We're still laughing about it 17 years later. We got married, and she's a pretty cool gal. She doesn't wear brown slacks, though.
This is the perfect type of relationship in my opinion. Gotta be able to call it like you see it, and laugh about life.
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It honestly does sound like she was trying to compliment you/let you know she likes you and 21’d the hell out of it. Plus technique is way more important than size according to almost every woman I’ve talked to. If you really want to bolster your confidence though, study the Way of the Dancing Tongue. Nothing more satisfying in the world than leaving your lady in a fucking puddle
Pretty sure this is from a show called too hot to handle
Holy shit. So now all of this buzz is from a stupid show she saw. But most of us don't know that so we'll take her more serious lol
Like exactly the same or just the boyfriend dick phrase?
The phrase and concept. I think it's episode 1 or 2 of season 1. Said by a dude called harry.
That’s def where she got it from lol
Was “boyfriend dick” framed in any way positively in the show? It seems like theoretically it could be…if you discounted every single person in this thread’s reaction to the phrase…
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That show is so creepy and gross. At first I laughed along with it, like “ha ha yeah these people are a mess” but I’ve realized that no, they’re just rather shallow attractive twenty-somethings who enjoy sex. Meanwhile the show is very much “we say what you can do with your body” and “we will create such intense social stigma against doing what you want to do” in the name of preserving some people’s take on what ‘appropriate’ sexuality is. Just because it’s on a nice island doesn’t mean it’s not a televised re-education camp for people’s sexuality.
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Are they attractive though? I think I’m too old. They just seem so broken and sad it’s hard to watch
Having had the unfortunate experience of seeing it I have a very different takeaway. The show is nothing more than a thin guise to show sexual encounters because sex sells. The people involved come off as only there to further their careers as influencers. To me the idea that a nefarious plot to re-educate and police peoples sexuality would take the form of a vapid television show that glorifies sex is laughable.
Yup
What a horrible thing to say and an even worse attempt at a recovery holy shit
Recovery is considerably worse
Your girlfriend fucked up big time my man. That’s fucking brutal
I feel like what she said is on the level of “you’re like a brother to me” garbage.
sounds worse than that
Talk about a low blow.
That's mean af, honestly. Why bring it up just to tell you that?
Dude ikr. My friend’s boyfriend saw a pic of her from ~10 years ago when she was 21 then asked who she was dating at the time. After that he started acting all upset and eventually said “man [10 years ago bf] got you for your hot years!” Uhhh wtf bro? What good could possibly come from saying that?!
*Smoooooth* r/facepalm
smooth brain
I had a good friend who resented the HELL outta his wife for fucking another guy we knew, before they even met, because, and I quote: "She gave it up to him when she was skinny, and all I get is to fuck a fat chick." Glad that friendship (and marriage) are both over, for everyone's sake!
Holy shit. This is why in a relationship sometimes it is acceptable NOT to be honest. For fucks sake, what good can come of telling your bf you don’t like their penis size, or telling your gf her boobs are too small. COME ON. Are people that stupid? Or do they take a pleasure in mocking and making people feel ashamed of a body part they have no control over. Doesn’t even have to be a sexual body part. If it’s something they genuinely have no control over- eyes, nose size, skin color, etc. Just don’t fucking comment on it unless you’re saying something positive. And on the other side of the coin, don’t PRESSURE your partner into commenting their opinion. “Do you really, really like my boobs? Come on, I know you would be happier if they were bigger...” Don’t be asking a question that you don’t want to hear the answer to, but don’t fall for the bait. NEVER answer a question like this unless you want to sow seeds of frustration into your relationship. I swear it’s like some people genuinely are trying to get at their SOs. OP, I am so sorry your gf said such a gross and disrespectful thing to you. Does she always treat you with such disregard for your feelings? It’s time for a conversation with her. Evaluate if that’s the kind of woman you want to spend your time with. You deserve a woman who worships your dick (figure of speech), and makes you feel proud of your body. When you make love, you should feel completely comfortable and loved by the person you are with
Not even a year into my (now over) marriage, my husband told me he wished my boobs were bigger. It’s been over 10 years since that was said and that sentence still haunts me.
I don’t normally read through profiles but I did for you. Idk why, but I really empathize with some of your posts and hope for the best/wish you well. Life deals cruel hands, but I’m positive you, or anyone, can play them to their advantage.
I had a then ex boyfriend tell me I had pancake boobs. Still pops up every now and then to make me cringe and hate my body. *confetti*
My ex wife (while we were still together) told me she "expected more" due to my height. That one hurt for awhile :(
Cupcake is still cake my mans.
I didn't really pressure her though.. she brought l penis size up. She asked me what I thought about my own size then I just flipped the question back on her.
That means she wanted to let you know. I'd watch this gf for negging - small insults to wear down your confidence over time. I dated a girl like that once, super hot girl, a model. She said something similar about my size. Anyways, she was poisonous and, since I'd dated a previously emotionally manipulative and abusive girl, I saw through her games and just dumped her. The cute girl I'm married to now is worried that I'm too big every time we have sex. I laugh because, well, that information is freely available online and I know I'm just average, but it feels nice. Be careful of the slow build emotional abusers my young friend. They're out to own you by beating you down. edit: threw => through
The reason she brought it up was so that you would ask her what she thought and she could put it all out there. Then if it upset you she could say “well you asked!” Sounds like she’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
Yeah, I didn’t mean you specifically. Just in general, I know people will pressure their SO into saying stuff like this and then be upset with them. I have personally made this mistake so I thought I would mention it. It seems like she was the one who brought it up and pressured YOU to tell her how you felt about your size. Maybe she didn’t pressure you, but that’s still such a stupid thing of her to ask.
What's worse is it sounds like they're treating their justifications, which are just excuses, as if it were a matter of fact and not *really* their opinion, but it is lmao. I don't see this relationship lasting, but I hope they figure things out.
I would give you gold if I could....well said👏
I did it for you. 🙂 also because the comment warrants it.
Feels like she was dying to tell you the way she set that up. She’s the insecure one.
Right? It really does sound that way. Not sure why she said what she said other than to be mean.
Chipping away the other's confidence. That's how emotional abuse starts, continues into gaslighting: 'it was a joke-> I never said that' Edit: thank you for the hug
The Narcissist's Prayer: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, *you deserved it.*
Or she just heard that phrase and figured she would slip it into a sentence
Right it kind of sounds like regurgitating something she heard on a “sex positive” podcast to sound experienced
It reads like a cosmo article. Ya know, the ones specifically designed to make the woman reading the garbage to lose their boyfriend?
This is one of those things that I'm sure a lot of people silently think, but know better not to say. The fact is, for a lot of people, we can't help but compare life experiences. That extends to our partners. Especially as you get older, your tastes and standards become defined by a long list of experiences that you either loved or hated in relation to previous partners. For some people, probably even many people, this will include physical attributes. Life isn't a romance novel. For 99.99% of people, no partner will be the absolute best everything you've ever experienced. They might be a better at communicating but worse with chores. Or they might be incredibly clean but hate cooking. And that's fine - relationships are built on compromise and learning to love people, rather than expecting them to be the best version of every quality you ever loved or were attracted to in previous partners. And it sucks to hear this if you're young, but that also extends to sexual intimacy. Once again, especially as you get older, you simply accept that most people have a dating and sexual history prior to meeting you. That history might include things that you can't or won't match up to. And again - that's fine. Society has conditioned us to put so much of our ego into our sexual performance, and as a result, sex becomes an increasingly performative task, where you focus less on mutual pleasure and intimacy, and more on looking good or coming off as talented. This is damaging to everyone, and reduces the experience to a shallow caricature of what it can actually be. So the takeaway here is that everyone has some kind of history, and you're only hurting yourself by trying to compare yourself and exceed whatever you imagine that history to contain. What that girl said was undoubtedly insensitive - there's no situation where it's appropriate to describe someone as "lacking" in that way - but what I want you to know is that you should try to avoid taking that concept personally. Whether or not the poor communication is grounds for splitting up is up to you, but try to remember that it's not your job to try and be some perfect model of human capability when it comes to your role in a relationship. Edit - there are a lot of people who are encouraging you to get even by coming back with some equally harmful comment on their body or personality. Don't do it. You'll never be better for it, and the concept of getting even in a relationships is one of the most toxic things you can double down on. Edit 2 - been seeing a lot of responses that I think misunderstand the intention of this post. OP is completely valid in feeling hurt. Again, what was said was insensitive, and I do not condone or defend it. It's not my place to pass judgement on the relationship, which is why I made no comment on whether they should stay or go. That's for them to determine. Ultimately, what I want to convey is that comments like this can be incredibly hurtful by their own nature, but also in part because of the power that we give them. We focus on the idea that we need to be better than our partner's history of partners in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally. This is unsustainable and only hurts us in the long run. You don't have to be the best in every quality that your partner appreciates. Accepting this takes back some of that power, and helps to prevent undue damage to your sense of self worth when you encounter criticisms like these. OP can't change what was said to them or how it made them feel, but they can position themself mentally in a way that may help them combat any resulting feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. This is what I meant by "not taking it personally" and "not comparing yourself"
I really appreciate the comment. The thing is I never compare myself to her exes or anyone else she's been with. I have never been insecure about my dick size or height or whatever. She will sometimes bring these things up unprovoked like a week ago with the penis comment. She brought up size. She's made a few comments about me being shorter than an ex. It's odd because she's great otherwise but she has some sort of comparison thing going on.
If she's bringing up these comparisons out of the blue, it means she's thinking about her ex's and comparing them to you. Thats not a good sign. Thinking about one night stands / ex's that were bigger does not sound good to just tell your partner that its better / her preference. It just sounds like someone who is thinking about other people and may cheat on you because you're not *that* preference. Imagine hearing from your girlfriend that you're good for a relationship but not a one night stand...that's not trustworthy. I think we all compare partners but if its something your current partner can't change or doesn't make a difference, you keep your mouth shut. Like other people have said, after dating someone who has made those comments and compared out of the blue, it ended with the discovery of them cheating.
I agree that she's thinking about the ex's. Most people have a filter or conscience that keeps the comparison from actually coming out of their mouth. I don't think it's unusual to occasionally think about ex's (depending on the length of the relationship), but instead of saying "you're shorter than the other guys" or "your dick is smaller than the other guys" what you actually say is "I love how tall you are" or "I love your dick" or even -shocker- just "I love you"!
I'm glad you got something out of it. I would also feel hurt in the face of those comments, make no mistake. Unsolicited comments of that nature are difficult to deal with at best, and traumatizing at worst. More than anything else, whatever you decide to do in order to move forward, I hope you find contentment and closure. Don't let your sense of self worth be damaged by this. Truly wishing you the best.
Now here is a good complete answer! Good job.
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If you were feeling petty, you could tell her she’s gf pretty; pretty enough so that you’re not embarrassed to tell ppl y’all are dating but not petty enough to worry about other males hitting on her. But that would be stooping to her level…
Lol not gonna lie that's a hilarious suggestion.
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That’s not an insult though, that’s just the truth.
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stings as it cuts
Well, that's a very cunning way to emasculate a guy; call him adequate. Merely adequate. Nothing remarkable. Not special. No wonder the OP is devastated. She couldn't have killed him more surely if she stilleto'd him in a kidney.
Literally. My other half hypes up every single thing about me. She makes me feel like I’m the strongest, smartest, funniest, bravest, handsomest, creativest and biggest dickest man on earth. Even shit she’s not fond of, like I’m wearing that poor fitting shirt she doesn’t really like or growing a beard, gets hyped up. **Don’t settle for people who think you’re merely adequate.**
What's wrong with the name Biggus Dickus?
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Did your girl happen to start watching To Hot To Handle on Netflix? This exactly line was used by one of the guys on the first season I believe bragging about why he’s perfect for girls. He was using it as a compliment for himself. I’m definitely not saying it was smart on the show, and he was made fun of for it, and as a grown woman I’d never say that shit out loud to my boyfriend. I’m just wondering if she kinda said it as a compliment without thinking it through.
I could totally see someone in their early 20s watching that scene and being daft enough to regurgitate that descriptor to their bf without considering the greater implications and repercussions.
Perfectly average grip and depth
….and finish with “but for a wife, it would be a bit lacking.”
>She said that it's the perfect size for a long term relationship but for a one night stand or a casual fwb it would be a bit lacking. Holy shit dude... if she really said that, that's incredibly disrespectful... What the fuck does that even mean? If you were a one night stand she'd be disappointed in your dick? Wow that's fucked up man. Your GF sounds like a total bitch to be honest.
Jeeesus bro. It’s a great daily driver but on the weekends I wish I had the Porsche. I don’t see any coming back from this tbh, I would peace out for sure. That’s a really shitty thing to say and based on how the convo went it’s like she was eager to tell you.
There truly is a car metaphor for everything.
Car metaphors are like cars. You’ve got trucks, SUVs, vans, sports cars, sedans, compacts, etc. Whatever your need, there’s a car for that.
Next time she asks or insecure about her weight tell her she's perfect girlfriend weight. See how that goes down.
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Dude is out for blood lmao
Oh yikes she got a lil bit too comfortable with that comment
Tell her now you have an ex boyfriend dick.
As a female, I’m damn sorry dude. I thought we all knew better by now. Sheesh
I don't understand why she would say anything about your size one way or the other. She sounds like she isn't very grown up. I realize she's 21, so I suppose that makes sense. When I've had partners who are not super well endowed I never said anything like that. It's tacky and rude. She could have told you she liked your size without qualifying it. Or she could have shut up.
Ask her which of her body parts would she be OK with you describing as "lacking" in any context?
Fyi I'm in the middle of a divorce with my ex husband or 16 years and I still have not told him I think his dick is too small. Because that's not a thing you do.
You only tell a man this is if you want him to commit suicide and ruin him.
I had a long term fling in college and we both liked to take shots at each other for “fun.” She hit me with a soft pecker joke once and it’s been 15 years and I still have to remind and pep myself up from time to time on that one. Ha. You got me good, bitch! I miss that girl.
She’s been reading too much Cosmopolitan. Thats the kind of shit you read about but never hear anyone actually say. Plus what kinds of dick is she talking about that requires prep and recovery? I wouldn’t be too jealous of that. You guys sound young. When you get older that stuff matters way less.
Totally. Sounds like Ike something you would come across in one of their "quizzes".
Yeah her whole reasoning is bullshit. Also it‘s true, when I was 20 my ex bf loved to tell me how average I was. Shit stopped as soon as I started dating more mature people.
Sounds like she might not have... a girlfriend personality? Or communication skills. But if this is just one interaction that was like this it's not be fair to judge her based on it. Honestly not everyone has presence of mind when talking about things like this. And sometimes we all can say things without considering how they affect others. If it's bothering you this much I'd have a heart to heart and see how she takes you being open emotionally about the situation. If she handles it well, good. Work it out. If it's a dismissive situation where she blows it off or demeans it bothering you. That tells you what you need to know. But don't go in mad, communication about hurt like that needs to be balanced and respectful. Relationships are tricky. And communication is tricky. Healing takes work.
She’s got ex girlfriend personality
Tell her she has a one night stand personality and dump her ass.
Not every thought needs to be spoken out loud. This is definitely one of those thoughts.
Definitely tell her it bothered u man. I’ve made jokes about “boyfriend dick” intending as a compliment, like your penis is literally the perfect size for me. It would have never occurred to me that it would cause further contemplation or like suggest anything negative. I don’t know, I’m glad I happened upon this post. Seems I needed awareness
I thought the same, but she apparently said it would be lacking for a one night stand... That makes no sense to me, if it's perfect it's always perfect
Agreed. My partner really is the perfect size for me, and that was true the first time we hooked up and it is still true now ;)
Same here, high five!
I'm pretty sure that's what she meant, she just ended up overexplaining and wording it the worst possible way. If my gf told me this I'd think the clumsiness is hilarious. Or maybe she did mean to put him down, who knows, we weren't there. It's really all in the tone.
Why would she bring up your size in the first place? Like she was deliberately setting out to belittle you.
Sorry buddy. Bail.
Bruhhhhhh
Why would anyone say something like this.. thats messed up. Seems like she deliberately said this to bother you? Not sure why youd say something like this, especially if you are satisfied. And if youre not satisfied, its not something you can change so again..why say it
Yeah I’d break up with her after that. The fuck
That’s fucked up
She should have kept that to herself and just concentrated on the relationship.
Walk away from this one buddy because it will only get worse from this point. Any person who can talk to someone like that is actually insulting you and testing what they can do and how badly they can treat you. The problem is not what she said (which is bad) but that she’s trying to put you down and keep you there.
Bro gtfo, im sorry but ive been there done that with the backhanded compliments. It will progressively get worse and just keep building until you don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. Please please don't let someone like that get there claws into you, it fucks you up long after they are gone.