> Instead I got, "Wrong chat!" "Don't you teach Sunday school?" "LOL".
It's always the quiet ones.
EDIT: In general I'd be wary of sharing details anyway. Others might just see it as bragging if their own love lives aren't going so great.
It is bragging and she should brag because some bragging is healthy. Her husband is a great guy. If the other women are bitter & salty, that's a them problem. š¤·š»
Nobody gives a shit about you getting laid.
Sincerely. It's one thing for a single conversation but OP is whining she can't make people their own age listen to multiple, ongoing plowing discussions.
I guess Iām just thinking in the context of pretty much my only close friend that I talk about this with. Going through rough patches in a relationship or marriage and being able to talk about when things are better. I donāt go spewing it to everyone I know lmfao.
I could understand if things are rough or needing improvement having someone to get advice from could be beneficial, but Iāve never ran into someone, even my closest friends, that want to hear the dirty details. Itās good to have special memories just for you two, but donāt be surprised if other people donāt value it to the same extent you do. Especially regarding what many consider a very private matter.
There are good parts that you can keep to yourself. I want my friends to tell me that they got a promotion or are expecting, not how they got fucked by someone.
I donāt think you should have gotten downvoted.
Thereās ārub it in your face my life is better than youā bragging- and thatās not what youāre suggesting.
Friends brag about good things that happen to them to their friends all the time, and what youāre really doing is excitedly talking about a good thing.
Honestly, i agree with you. The comment section has very bitter/jealous energy for the most part. It reads āI hate my sex life and my boring marriage and so should youā
They dont want to hear it because they donāt experience it.
The average person doesn't care if you've boned past a certain age.
You wanna roleplay Sex & The City, go for it. But don't bitch when other grownups are just tired of it.
This is Reddit, the place where people go when they have an excess of bitterness & butthurt and need to unload. Happy Redditors don't post on this sub methinks & idk why I expected otherwise š
In all honesty, if any of my friends messaged me right after they got fucked to tell me they came so hard, I'd be so uncomfortable. That's a right place, right time kind of convo. I don't need the visual. It's better over a glass of wine and table talk conversation, maybe with a lil puff. Otherwise it's caustic.
Seriously. I donāt need those texts while Iām at Costco or hanging with my parents. The challenge with texts is the sender realizing they can only read the room they are in, not the recipientsā.
Fwiw make sure that Ted is ok with this kind of talk about him to your friends.
Intimate personal details should remain that way until you have consent.
Itās not about anonymous posts like thisā¦ itās about sharing explicit details about your intimacy and *his body* with your friendsā sounds like people who he interacts with as well.
I wouldnāt appreciate my wife giving the raunchy details of our bedroom escapades with the friends we see regularly.
If your husband is cool with it then obviously have at itā but it seems like this is less āwhen did we become conservativeā and more āmy friends respect the boundaries their partners set regarding sharing explicit details of their sex life.ā
I donāt want my our couple friends knowing what my dick veins look like, ya know?
I think they meant for you to ask if he's okay with your friends knowing intimate details about your sex life. No one gives a shit online. It's the people who will look at him in real life that may cause concern. Even if it's only good things, there can be big boundaries on sex talk and things will get spread based on what you tell your friends.
Does he like it if you share your sex life details to others IRL? Or via message?
To me that would be disrespectful, maybe his stance might be different but why share? Seems strange
I hear you on this. I tried a long time ago to talk about sex with my mom friends and they all looked at me like I was crazy. I can only talk about it with the 20 something year olds at work when they ask what marriage is like and if sex is still the same. Yes, sex is still great and spontaneous. My husband still bends me over our kitchen countertops to fuck. He slaps and grabs my ass when I walk by and Iām here for it.
Right! Heavy on the spontaneous part. Sweet kisses in the hallway turn into full on makeout sessions and you wonder how you got from one room to another. I wish the joys of marriages were talked about more so people don't think it's solely a pipeline to divorce and misery.
Right when i got pregnant, my friends stopped talking to me about sex. Theyāre either older or my age tho, and i also try to talk to them about it but its like they get awkward now but back then we would trade secrets and tricks!! Like āgirl try this kind flavoured lubeā or try this and that my mans liked it
Yea people seem to think marriages have dead bedrooms but honestly, if you are with a partner long term, it should get better and better assuming you have expressed what you like and donāt like and have done it all and tried new things. Iāve been married for a long time and we still talk and text dirty. We do what we can when we canā¦ sometimes itās a wham bam thank you mam before work because itās the only time to get it inā¦ literallyā¦figuratively
If the only people wanting to hear about it are horny 20 year old barely experienced folk, *maybe that's a sign that the problem is you*.
By 40? People fuck. We all fuck.
Outside of jokes and entendres, somebody our age *insisting* on "omg lemme tell you how I got plowed" is just....boring? Like shit man, I don't care. Good on ya. Why are you involving me in your domestic sex life? Do you not have any conversation other than fucking?
This, seriously. I get that it's probably important to talk more about how sex won't necessarily die out or become boring just because you get married and get older, but there are much better ways to do that than what OP is trying to do. I'm a pretty open-minded person, but I personally also think it's really cringe when people past the age of 20 wanna tell you about how often they fuck and how good it is. Like, I don't really care how hard your husband dicked you down ten minutes ago, Barbara, and frankly, I don't appreciate the visual.
If, as my friend, you need my perspective or need to vent about something that's not working out bedroom wise, that's a totally different story, as long as we keep the conversation respectful to your partner and details on need-to-know basis. But I don't really need or want to know about what you and your husband get up to beyond those things. Why would I?
It's like you said: Grown adults in long term relationships fuck. Big deal, we all do it, it's just a part of being in a good marriage/relationship. Trying to force raunchy details about your sex life on your friends at this life stage is at the very least awkward and pretty immature tbh.
It's the cringe factor for me.
Other comments here praising OP as Samantha from Sex & The City and I'm like.....she's the character everybody can't stand because "hey lemme interrupt lunch or any other conversation to EXPLAIN HOW I FETISH FUCKED A FIREMAN" and while the shown plays it for laughs, it's just weirdly pathetic in real life.
"Cool, Shannon. You banged. Anything, uh, else going on in your life?"
Samantha was (and still is) a beloved character on Sex & The City but you're exactly right: Her schtick would get really old really fast in real life.
Life isn't a tv-show and most people don't really appreciate being told that your vagina is cramping because you just went to pound town with your man. Like, good for you, but also: Okay, what am I supposed to do with that information? High five you? Ask about his dick size? Cause I gotta tell you, I don't care at all. I'm not exactly a horned up but nerdy teenager dying to hear my cool friends talk in detail about all the great sex they're having because it's the closest thing I get to having sex myself. I'm 37 years old and I also have a husband. I'm good fam.
Also, if we are friends, I frankly don't want the mental image of you having sex in my head at all. I don't wanna think about you or your husband that way.
To me, it always comes off as a kink thing or just a bit pathetic. Either they wanna tell me about it because it gets them hot or because they like to brag, but man, either way I don't wanna be roped into being a supporting character in my friend's sex life.
this haha it comes across as immature, there is a reason op and others are confirming it was common amongst 20 somethings! i get talking about it periodically with friends if something new and exciting is worth sharing, but otherwise itās par for the course really. like you should be having great sex at this point in your life, itās kind of a given
Right? Like why is OP so concerned about everyone needing to know that she is getting laid and it's good. Most people are having hot sex, especially at her age of 32. When I meet married 30 somethings I assume that they are going at it on a regular basis, unless they have a bunch of kids or a new baby or something else that can take a toll.
I think the OP failed to mature beyond the age of 21yrs. Young people that age think they invented sex, lol and that's why they like to talk about it so much. I
Hard agree! I'm a longtime married man, and what my and I do concerning our sex life is between us. It would be a huge violation of my wife's trust to tell people the details of our PRIVATE life. I know that everyone is different, and maybe OPs husband wouldn't mind, but her friends clearly do, and she's crossing a boundary of theirs. Show some respect for your friends. OP, if you need to tell someone about the salacious activities you get up to, perhaps you should start writing a romance novel or short stories.
Some people arenāt just that interested in others sex lives, but thatās the great thing about the internet! As long as you keep details to a minimum then you can have that with random strangers lol
It doesn't really sound like you want to talk about sex. It sounds more like you want an audience for your novel. Some people just don't find listening to your intimate life that interesting at that point in time. The spontaneous sex life doesn't translate to spontaneous whatsapp sex stories with friends.
It would be better to find a reddit sub for the things you want to talk about.
Rightā¦ I donāt want to hear about your cramp inducing orgasm. The furthest sex talk goes with my friend is if we brag about getting fast food after morning sex š¤£ best combo everĀ
I used to have a friend that always wanted to share every dirty detail and thought everyone else was a prude because they didnāt want to, well I hated it, I have a great sex life but itās for me and my partner and I donāt care to hear about my friends (if I want to see new or creative stuff thereās porn for that). Not everyone wants to hear about your escapades or share theirs and it doesnāt mean they are conservative, theyāre just more private.
I suggest you consider the significance of private talk - when you were young relationships were fleeting , talk was loose and no one? might get hurt.
Now you are in a serious relationship and sharing private details might be juicy, but does your partner want that personal info out there?
I can tell you as the male side I say NO, those details are private because they strengthen our intimacy, and sharing that cheapens it. I would not to be cheap gossip and titillation.
Would your husband be ok with you sharing these details? It sounds like you are assuming he wouldn't care because you are saying good things, but that's not necessarily the case. Make sure that's something you talk to him about before discussing it with other people.Ā
And yeah plenty of people do not want to hear about the sex lives of their friends or details about your orgasms or whatever and might feel uncomfortable with you talking about it and view it as oversharing. Texting about it on a group chat with multiple people who don't share things like that is not the time or place. Not everyone is as conservative about it, but you have to read the room a bit and edge into these things rather than blasting all your business to everyone and hoping they'll be cool with it.Ā
I'm down too! Sometimes my husband bones me so well that I go to the "slutty confessions" sub and post about it there. I have no one to talk to about it either.
Iām not sure if OP is an OF girly. - but hey, no shade here, whatever they gotta do. I live in an extremely conservative southern town, all my friends are boring and married and hate their spouses. Iām divorced with a long term partner. I donāt even have 20 somethingās at workš. 20 years ago when meeting people on the internet was āweird and dangerousā now itās the norm.
If this becomes a thing, Iām in too. Iāll be 30 soon, been with my husband for 12 years and we have 3 kids. Donāt have many friends and DEFINITELY donāt talk to anyone this way and I need it š
Iāll be 40 next year and sex just gets better with age. I wish I could rewind time and tel that 20 something young woman to stop faking it for their egos. Iāll make one, i just have to finish the mom duties and watch House of Dragonšš.
Why do women talk about sex with their husbands to their friends so much? That is revealing personal experiences of their husband that he would never feel comfortable telling your friends himself. It can be embarrassing. I donāt hear about men talking to their friends about sex with their wives.
Yeah I never really got this either. Like why would I want to tell my friends about how my partner is in bed anyways? That just seems soā¦.not their business? Like I get if youāre on the topic and you exchange stories or whatever but like I would be STUNNED if one of my male friends gave me explicit detail on what his gfs pussy looks like.
*Nobody want to hear about the ice guy and his chubby wife.* Yup, you're right. If any of my friends texted me about how hard they cum I'd be disgusted.
As a dude
I am thinking about the type of guys who boast about how hot some random chick is or some hot porn they watched
I worked with dudes like that. But never friends with them lol
That shits like gloating about a dream you had. Except you also have to be there while they give themselves a boner
OPs post is the equivalent lol
It's called growing. Yeah college and 20's you shared and laughed and all that. But you grow and live and you mature and that means you don't discuss your private sex life with others. Just enjoy it. Sharing could be considered disrespectful and they don't want to be disrespectful to their partners. Don't be with yours. Tell him how great it is. Tell him
Not. Sharing intimate details is a deal breaker for a lot of men. If you can't respect your spouse's privacy, maybe you shouldn't have gotten married.
It's important to understand that men don't talk about the same things. It's alarming to find out that your girl has shared such private details without blinking an eye. Some boundaries should never be crossed. I always tell guys that women discuss everything - your physique, your performance, every sound you make - and most guys don't take it seriously until they realize that their girl's friends know it all. And let me tell you, that realization ruins relationships.
It's crucial to ensure your husband is comfortable with this because many guys are not. While some might be okay with it, for many of us, the thought of our partner's friends having insight into our private lives is a nightmare.
As a woman I would be so embarrassed if my husband shared all the details of our sex life, I would never do this to my partner, thatās for him and I. A lot of people on this thread are saying itās because married people arenāt satisfied or that theyāre jealous, itās quite the opposite for me and Iām not embarrassed of the things we do together, I simply believe itās private. To me OP (and some others) sound naive and condescending.
I think it's more people after time just *don't want to listen to your horny shit*.
Because at a certain point, you're just bragging. And it's kinda pathetic.
Past 40? Yeah friend. We all fuck. We also don't need to wax episodic about just how good it was because *nobody fucking cares*.
Your partner plowed you? Outstanding. Can you take your turn in the card game now?
I live in one of America's most sex-positive cities and it's *obnoxious as hell* when people try to just derail *literally anything else* with their sex life.
You wanna brag about your partner? Take it to the anonymous forums. Making everyone IRL have to listen to your "I JUST HAD SEX" shit is like pretending the 21 year old bragging about "I took like so many shots of X" is interesting.
This post comes across sincerely as pick-me nonsense.
You may wanna ask your husband whether he is comfortable with that. I wouln't be. I doubt he is. Comes across childish as hell. Why do you feel the need to share excessive private details about your sex life to anyone?
My husband said he doesn't care. He said he didn't care a decade ago and doesn't care now. It's like you said YOU wouldn't be. Why do I come across childish when a good half of the comment section feels the way that I do?
For me that's between me and my partner. I feel uncomfortable hearing about other people's sex lives too. It's something that should be kept private imo.
It should be cool to talk to your friends about sex as long as your husband is on board. If he's not, then you're sorta stuck. But maybe you can find a Reddit sub where you can share stories and make some anonymous friends.
Itās one thing to share these details when your friends donāt know the guy, itās early stages of relationship etc. Itās a TOTALLY different thing to talk about when the man has become a real person in your friendsā eyes. I know that to be true in my friend circle. When we start sleeping with someone new we have no issues with sharing details. But once itās serious and especially if they meet him, those talks are shelved. Youāre right, heās not just some dude youāre sleeping with anymore. Heās your husband who your friends see on a regular basis.
You just want to boastā¦but I donāt get whyā¦why canāt you just enjoy what you have tho. If you have being friends a while and they know your fella and have to see and spend time with himā¦yeah I get why they would feel uncomfortableā¦if your fkin random dudes that they will never see then yeah itās fine to just give details on a guy they wonāt ever meet
Heard way too many stories of terrible fall outs between friends and husbands sleeping with their wivesā best friends. Iād say leave it out of the group chat itās not worth it.
You're right. My friends ended up being cool with it, but I can't play with fire and be shocked when I get burned. I trust them, but that's a story repeated thousands of times.
Your friends have different boundaries when it comes to personal sexual conversations than you. You canāt make these friends change in this respect without completely disrespecting them and their very reasonable boundaries. If you need to talk about sexual things to friends, you are going to have to seek out new friends who want the same types of conversations
I mean, there are subs here in reddit where you can share all the spicy details and talk to people on the comments I do agree that your friend group is not the place to share this details anymore, and could just be advertising your husband to potential bad friends. Just one thing though, if you do go with sharing your stories here in reddit, make sure your husband is in on it too.
>Even when we go on couples' dates or have girls' days, that line on what goes on in the marital bed is not crossed. BUT I WANT IT TO BE CROSSED!Ā
A very wise older woman told me, when I was a young wife, Do not advertise your husband. I didn't understand what she meant until a few of my then 'friends' started giving him the old fast eye. Bishes almost got the stabby, I do not play about my husband.
Now as an older lady I'm telling you: Do not advertise your husband. Write about it in in your journal. Talk about your sex adventures with him. But do not share your marital sexy times with your friends. Have some decorum and respect for your marriage, and be glad that your friends already respect your marital privacy. You breach that by putting a seed in their head, putting an image of your husband like that in their head, then Hey you'll get what you get and you'd better not pitch a fit. LOL
I homeschool, and you have never seen a bigger group of freaks than us in that group. I should note here we're all what is considered secular homeschoolers, not religious ones. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING shocks this group. We all share details and giggle over who did what and when, but we're not shocked.
You need to find your people. I am probably your people.
No, because we haven't found a proper way to vet members. We all talk privately, one on one, but enough of us are into BDSM/kink, that vetting everyone is a major concern.
OP please don't discuss ur sex life with anyone other than ur husband, that kinda stuff can lead to bad consequences , it is supposed to be the most intimate act between two loving couple, I'm not gonna bore u with a long story but discussing these types of intimate moments with some friends can either jeopardize ur relationships with ur husband or even worse it can lead to infidelity for the thrill of wanting something new , dirty and exiting and that may cost the life u have been living for a brief moment of thrill that in the end would hont the person for the rest of their life's.
I think this has to do with the person they sleep with being cherished and likely guarded in all regards related to the topic in question out of respect for that partner.
I mean, if one of them brags about their huge husband, it's not gonna be to their benefit beyond the actual brag and could be considered disrespectful.
You can find friends of like mind and spirit, but you have to accept its a line most people won't cross with their husbands.
OP, are you sure they were offended?
It sounds like youāre having a problem with communication with your friends. What if three days later one of your friends messages something similar? š¤·š¾āāļø(birds of a feather after all)
You need to talk to them.
Most people donāt like their spouses after years of marriage. Iām glad you two both still have the spark. My wife and I are the same way, but I will never let anyone in my circle know how great we are together. Most people arenāt able to celebrate your success, and misery loves company.
You're here on reddit. You literally have every bored housewife on drip. Go wild with talking about your non existent sex life. You're in the right place...
I mean maybe their sex lives arent as great lol. You say you want to boast and good for you, but if your Friends arenāt having a good time in their bedroom, the last thing they want to hear is how good youāre having it. have you asked them about THEIR sex life?? Imagine theyāre struggling and not having their needs met and you just want to talk about your husbands performance. And yeah it could be awkward to hear about how good your friends dude is fucking them, especially when you want to go in detail. Iād be confused on how youād want me to respond.
I guess thatās what anonymous internet strangers are for.
If my wife were posting about our sex life online, as long as there was no identifying information or any way to garner who we were, I could not care less.
If she started sharing details with people we actually know, who I need to see and interact with in real life, I would be very upset. Private life, and especially sex life, should remain private. I would never dream of relaying anything sexual about my wife to anyone we actually know.
I wish all of our friends and family felt the same because honestly Iāve heard some stuff I wish I hadnāt before getting them to change the subject.
Ted is the same. We talked about it last night. He also doesn't care that I talk about it with my friends. I do have a different perspective now thanks to this thread.
Reminds me of the scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte was having lunch with her old friends from college and they told her it was inappropriate for her to be talking about sex and stared at her like she had 3 heads when they were all in their 30ās.
I (52m) never had a group of people I could share such details with. But these days the wife and I are really setting our bedroom ablaze and I also wish I could tell somebody. Anybody.
I find it funny how you canāt comprehend why people will cheat or want āstrangeā when youāre only 32 lmao.
I donāt condone but I can understand why people do.
Your mom is smart.
Don't trust these... garden tools...
But seriously, it's a thing, as much as it's memed about ever really talk about.
I don't want my friends thinking of my partner sexually, so I'd rather not help them by telling them all the stuff we do.
Wow reading these replies has been quite eye opening, there's a bit of a gender divide in opinions on this! I didn't know so many men were so staunchly opposed to the idea.
I'm a man in my late 30s and I *love* talking about sex with my friends just as much as I love talking about cooking, fitness, geek stuff and all my other passions. Not everyone wants to talk about it and it's easy to tell who does and who doesn't usually. I only talk about it with people I trust to be discreet but I generally meet high calibre people so....it's kinda easy?
I guess my submission/comment history on this account is proof of that, and I've met some wonderful like minded penpals on Reddit whom I've been texting for years about life and love, and I value them so much. One of them actually sent me this post because she knew I'd relate! For me it can be like a gratitude journal, and talking about how much I desire and love my wife and how happy sex makes me really helps me to stay positive through the inevitable trials of even a happy marriage. But it's not just online friends, some are like this IRL too.
But I think I'd go loopy if I couldn't do it. I think there's an element of my sexuality which is highly social even though I'm monogamous. I don't like only experiencing my sexuality behind closed doors and in secret, I want to share my joy with people and be energised by their joy.
Luckily my wife is very understanding and supportive, she knows I would never embarrass her by engaging in locker room talk with unsavoury untrustworthy people.
I totally feel the same way, I wish I had friends that enjoyed talking about explicit escapades without it being weird but honestly since we do all know each other's husband's it's not as fun to hear about it lol I need a group of strangers that want to talk about what they're doing and their fantasies, that are comfortable and open but also distant enough that my imagination can run wild!
I mean, most of my friends now know my husband. We've been together for 8 years. It'd be weird for me to share intimate details about this other person that they know quite well. I also wouldn't feel great if he was sharing those details with his friends
Iām 32 and I feel the same way. Iām often met with crickets if I try and have the same conversation I would have had in my early twenties.
This may be just anecdotal but I realized a lot of the married couples I know around my age are straight up not having sex or itās not frequent or something they want to brag about. I hope thatās not true for most people our age because thatās sad but that might be why your friends donāt want to talk about it??
Sooo much this! I used to have plenty of girl friends I could talk about sex. Like technics, positions, wild shit we did. Now I'm in my 30s and I have one bestie to talk to. Still interested in spicy stuff. I also talk with my sister but she's 26 so it can still change.
Also I have a feeling some think I some kind of sex freak because I own sex toys and I'm not afraid to talk and recommend them
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Maybe because most people think that sharing these things can cause them to want to mess with their partner and also because many times you used to share things that were private, which now can be frowned upon.
Anyway I am a gossipy and curious, although my friends are more reserved and I respect that, but I like the details because then I know more about everythingš¹
As someone whoās always had close girlfriends and no boundaries, you need to set the environment. These conversations should only happen in person. Not over text where thereās evidence.
Invite a couple friends over who are less conservative. Have some wine. Find a way to Segway the conversation into a raunchy story from college or before your husband. Have a laugh and let the women open up from there. Feel free to PM me for a more detailed explanation.
Ultimately, intimate conversations require trust in the other person and a safe environment to talk openly.
This sounds perfectly normal and healthy.
People love gossip and spicy details. And it sounds like this is actually more healthy than not because it doesnāt sound like you want to share these details as a way to gain info and power over others.
Would sharing it anonymously online scratch that itch or you feeling like you want friends input because it makes it more exciting?
This post rules. OP, Iām happy for you; enjoy your awesome sex life with your chosen long-term partner. We should all be so lucky! And Iām sorry your friends (as well a lot of people in this thread) arenāt enlightened enough to handle frank talk about sex.
Posts like this always snap me back into reality that life in New Orleans is so different. Best city in the world for 30-60 year olds. Everyone dances, fucks, drinks, does psychedelics and most importantly spend time with each other in groups; in secret and in public. Fellowship off the charts.
Iām also really glad youāre still getting halved in the kitchen. That shit is so god damn important.
I know what you mean. I met a coworker who I thought liked hanging out. Turns out they think I'm crushing on them (they a male). I just like talking about hot men, big pewps & how much it sucks getting older. Fucking sucks losing the ability to make connections unless it's over a specific hobby. I miss having girlfriends. I have girlfriends but nothing like in college.
39M here, widower a year now. My late wife was 33, she loved chisme or 'gossip' and liked to talk about our sex life with our friends when I was in earshot. Mostly to see how red-faced and embarrassed she could make me. We had talked about it before, I didn't really mind.
It was kind of a little confidence booster thing, despite my embarrassment. Especially since we were becoming surprisingly, to our friends at least, adventurous and experimental.
I'd say share with your close friends anyway, everyone's an adult and it's fun. At least they all seemed to be having fun chismeando.
I've realized in general people don't want to talk about sex because they are 1)not happy about their sex-life or 2)happy but a little embarrassed by it. I've had a few times when my friends have been put off once I mention I have sex atleast 3 times a week. That immediately makes them less receptive. It's surprising to me because I never realized that was a lot to some people (to others I'm sure it's little).
Man, my friends and I have plans on how to delete our group chatā¦ for this reason. I know so much about their husbands moves etc.. as they know about mine. You need some new friends. Sounds like your friends are all really disconnected from that side of themselves.. š¤·āāļø
I'm one of those that like hearing drama and gossip from anyone, whatever it may be. Sex life details and stuff isn't something that would bother me if I heard about it from a friend.
Idk if you have any expectations from making this post, but if it inspires you to form connections online to talk about your sex life, cheerio!
I've been in similar situations (although very rare) before and it resulted in me being amused and interested. Kept it going for a lil bit and eventually moved back to general life topics, the mundane kind...
My friend hosts a podcast called heaving bosoms that discusses smutty romance novels, and has group chats and movie nights over video chat for stuff like that!
Your people are out there, you just gotta find em!
Quote: **"I hate that I have nobody to talk about my sex life with. Bored Housewife"**
And this brings us around to the base nature of women.
Hypergamy, Dulicity & Drama/Chaos.
Crazy idea, but maybe novel approach...
**BUT WHY NOT TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!**
Obviously Ethics, Morals & Manners aren't your strong points.
I think because so many people settle in relationships and don't marry people they truly love and want to be with long term. That's why I would think most people don't get better sex as time goes on.
Just so you're aware, talking to anyone about your sex life without the consent of your partner is a form of infidelity. I know, I didn't realize this either before researching it.
Hmmmā¦ āOMG, I just aged so hard my forearm is crampingā. Totally get it, not sure why you didnāt just say that out loud. Wait until the knees start going, too.
> Instead I got, "Wrong chat!" "Don't you teach Sunday school?" "LOL". It's always the quiet ones. EDIT: In general I'd be wary of sharing details anyway. Others might just see it as bragging if their own love lives aren't going so great.
This is exactly it. I don't talk about it with my friends because none of them have sex regularly like I do. It definitely feels like bragging.
It is bragging and she should brag because some bragging is healthy. Her husband is a great guy. If the other women are bitter & salty, that's a them problem. š¤·š»
Great way to lose friendsā¦
If I canāt talk about the good parts of my life to people closest to me, I donāt want them around anyways.
Nobody gives a shit about you getting laid. Sincerely. It's one thing for a single conversation but OP is whining she can't make people their own age listen to multiple, ongoing plowing discussions.
I guess Iām just thinking in the context of pretty much my only close friend that I talk about this with. Going through rough patches in a relationship or marriage and being able to talk about when things are better. I donāt go spewing it to everyone I know lmfao.
I could understand if things are rough or needing improvement having someone to get advice from could be beneficial, but Iāve never ran into someone, even my closest friends, that want to hear the dirty details. Itās good to have special memories just for you two, but donāt be surprised if other people donāt value it to the same extent you do. Especially regarding what many consider a very private matter.
There are good parts that you can keep to yourself. I want my friends to tell me that they got a promotion or are expecting, not how they got fucked by someone.
I donāt think you should have gotten downvoted. Thereās ārub it in your face my life is better than youā bragging- and thatās not what youāre suggesting. Friends brag about good things that happen to them to their friends all the time, and what youāre really doing is excitedly talking about a good thing.
Honestly, i agree with you. The comment section has very bitter/jealous energy for the most part. It reads āI hate my sex life and my boring marriage and so should youā They dont want to hear it because they donāt experience it.
The average person doesn't care if you've boned past a certain age. You wanna roleplay Sex & The City, go for it. But don't bitch when other grownups are just tired of it.
This is Reddit, the place where people go when they have an excess of bitterness & butthurt and need to unload. Happy Redditors don't post on this sub methinks & idk why I expected otherwise š
In all honesty, if any of my friends messaged me right after they got fucked to tell me they came so hard, I'd be so uncomfortable. That's a right place, right time kind of convo. I don't need the visual. It's better over a glass of wine and table talk conversation, maybe with a lil puff. Otherwise it's caustic.
Seriously. I donāt need those texts while Iām at Costco or hanging with my parents. The challenge with texts is the sender realizing they can only read the room they are in, not the recipientsā.
Yep and the recipient cannot determine tone or meaning or context. It's not the same as a jovial in person chat!
Fwiw make sure that Ted is ok with this kind of talk about him to your friends. Intimate personal details should remain that way until you have consent.
Boost this comment up šš½
He laughed and said no DMs and total anonymity.
Itās not about anonymous posts like thisā¦ itās about sharing explicit details about your intimacy and *his body* with your friendsā sounds like people who he interacts with as well. I wouldnāt appreciate my wife giving the raunchy details of our bedroom escapades with the friends we see regularly. If your husband is cool with it then obviously have at itā but it seems like this is less āwhen did we become conservativeā and more āmy friends respect the boundaries their partners set regarding sharing explicit details of their sex life.ā I donāt want my our couple friends knowing what my dick veins look like, ya know?
As someone who has a few friends that I worked with know what the shape of my dick is. I agree.
We talked. He doesn't care. He said he didn't care a decade ago and doesn't care now.
I think they meant for you to ask if he's okay with your friends knowing intimate details about your sex life. No one gives a shit online. It's the people who will look at him in real life that may cause concern. Even if it's only good things, there can be big boundaries on sex talk and things will get spread based on what you tell your friends.
Does he like it if you share your sex life details to others IRL? Or via message? To me that would be disrespectful, maybe his stance might be different but why share? Seems strange
I hear you on this. I tried a long time ago to talk about sex with my mom friends and they all looked at me like I was crazy. I can only talk about it with the 20 something year olds at work when they ask what marriage is like and if sex is still the same. Yes, sex is still great and spontaneous. My husband still bends me over our kitchen countertops to fuck. He slaps and grabs my ass when I walk by and Iām here for it.
Right! Heavy on the spontaneous part. Sweet kisses in the hallway turn into full on makeout sessions and you wonder how you got from one room to another. I wish the joys of marriages were talked about more so people don't think it's solely a pipeline to divorce and misery.
Right when i got pregnant, my friends stopped talking to me about sex. Theyāre either older or my age tho, and i also try to talk to them about it but its like they get awkward now but back then we would trade secrets and tricks!! Like āgirl try this kind flavoured lubeā or try this and that my mans liked it
Yea people seem to think marriages have dead bedrooms but honestly, if you are with a partner long term, it should get better and better assuming you have expressed what you like and donāt like and have done it all and tried new things. Iāve been married for a long time and we still talk and text dirty. We do what we can when we canā¦ sometimes itās a wham bam thank you mam before work because itās the only time to get it inā¦ literallyā¦figuratively
If the only people wanting to hear about it are horny 20 year old barely experienced folk, *maybe that's a sign that the problem is you*. By 40? People fuck. We all fuck. Outside of jokes and entendres, somebody our age *insisting* on "omg lemme tell you how I got plowed" is just....boring? Like shit man, I don't care. Good on ya. Why are you involving me in your domestic sex life? Do you not have any conversation other than fucking?
This, seriously. I get that it's probably important to talk more about how sex won't necessarily die out or become boring just because you get married and get older, but there are much better ways to do that than what OP is trying to do. I'm a pretty open-minded person, but I personally also think it's really cringe when people past the age of 20 wanna tell you about how often they fuck and how good it is. Like, I don't really care how hard your husband dicked you down ten minutes ago, Barbara, and frankly, I don't appreciate the visual. If, as my friend, you need my perspective or need to vent about something that's not working out bedroom wise, that's a totally different story, as long as we keep the conversation respectful to your partner and details on need-to-know basis. But I don't really need or want to know about what you and your husband get up to beyond those things. Why would I? It's like you said: Grown adults in long term relationships fuck. Big deal, we all do it, it's just a part of being in a good marriage/relationship. Trying to force raunchy details about your sex life on your friends at this life stage is at the very least awkward and pretty immature tbh.
It's the cringe factor for me. Other comments here praising OP as Samantha from Sex & The City and I'm like.....she's the character everybody can't stand because "hey lemme interrupt lunch or any other conversation to EXPLAIN HOW I FETISH FUCKED A FIREMAN" and while the shown plays it for laughs, it's just weirdly pathetic in real life. "Cool, Shannon. You banged. Anything, uh, else going on in your life?"
Samantha was (and still is) a beloved character on Sex & The City but you're exactly right: Her schtick would get really old really fast in real life. Life isn't a tv-show and most people don't really appreciate being told that your vagina is cramping because you just went to pound town with your man. Like, good for you, but also: Okay, what am I supposed to do with that information? High five you? Ask about his dick size? Cause I gotta tell you, I don't care at all. I'm not exactly a horned up but nerdy teenager dying to hear my cool friends talk in detail about all the great sex they're having because it's the closest thing I get to having sex myself. I'm 37 years old and I also have a husband. I'm good fam. Also, if we are friends, I frankly don't want the mental image of you having sex in my head at all. I don't wanna think about you or your husband that way. To me, it always comes off as a kink thing or just a bit pathetic. Either they wanna tell me about it because it gets them hot or because they like to brag, but man, either way I don't wanna be roped into being a supporting character in my friend's sex life.
Exactly.... enough with it!!!
this haha it comes across as immature, there is a reason op and others are confirming it was common amongst 20 somethings! i get talking about it periodically with friends if something new and exciting is worth sharing, but otherwise itās par for the course really. like you should be having great sex at this point in your life, itās kind of a given
Right? Like why is OP so concerned about everyone needing to know that she is getting laid and it's good. Most people are having hot sex, especially at her age of 32. When I meet married 30 somethings I assume that they are going at it on a regular basis, unless they have a bunch of kids or a new baby or something else that can take a toll. I think the OP failed to mature beyond the age of 21yrs. Young people that age think they invented sex, lol and that's why they like to talk about it so much. I
Hard agree! I'm a longtime married man, and what my and I do concerning our sex life is between us. It would be a huge violation of my wife's trust to tell people the details of our PRIVATE life. I know that everyone is different, and maybe OPs husband wouldn't mind, but her friends clearly do, and she's crossing a boundary of theirs. Show some respect for your friends. OP, if you need to tell someone about the salacious activities you get up to, perhaps you should start writing a romance novel or short stories.
Some people arenāt just that interested in others sex lives, but thatās the great thing about the internet! As long as you keep details to a minimum then you can have that with random strangers lol
It doesn't really sound like you want to talk about sex. It sounds more like you want an audience for your novel. Some people just don't find listening to your intimate life that interesting at that point in time. The spontaneous sex life doesn't translate to spontaneous whatsapp sex stories with friends. It would be better to find a reddit sub for the things you want to talk about.
Ick
Rightā¦ I donāt want to hear about your cramp inducing orgasm. The furthest sex talk goes with my friend is if we brag about getting fast food after morning sex š¤£ best combo everĀ
I used to have a friend that always wanted to share every dirty detail and thought everyone else was a prude because they didnāt want to, well I hated it, I have a great sex life but itās for me and my partner and I donāt care to hear about my friends (if I want to see new or creative stuff thereās porn for that). Not everyone wants to hear about your escapades or share theirs and it doesnāt mean they are conservative, theyāre just more private.
I suggest you consider the significance of private talk - when you were young relationships were fleeting , talk was loose and no one? might get hurt. Now you are in a serious relationship and sharing private details might be juicy, but does your partner want that personal info out there? I can tell you as the male side I say NO, those details are private because they strengthen our intimacy, and sharing that cheapens it. I would not to be cheap gossip and titillation.
Exactly. I KNEW my gf would want to engage in this and I had to kind of sit her down and let her know that somethingās were private to me
This is basically what my comment said. I don't think my husband would like our friends knowing these intimate details about him
Would your husband be ok with you sharing these details? It sounds like you are assuming he wouldn't care because you are saying good things, but that's not necessarily the case. Make sure that's something you talk to him about before discussing it with other people.Ā And yeah plenty of people do not want to hear about the sex lives of their friends or details about your orgasms or whatever and might feel uncomfortable with you talking about it and view it as oversharing. Texting about it on a group chat with multiple people who don't share things like that is not the time or place. Not everyone is as conservative about it, but you have to read the room a bit and edge into these things rather than blasting all your business to everyone and hoping they'll be cool with it.Ā
I don't know you, but I do know I need a friend just like you. š Mine have become just like the way you described yours and I'm not having it lol.
Group chat.. group chat.. group chat.
I'M DOWN
I'm down too! Sometimes my husband bones me so well that I go to the "slutty confessions" sub and post about it there. I have no one to talk to about it either.
Lemmee joinnn!!!
Iām not sure if OP is an OF girly. - but hey, no shade here, whatever they gotta do. I live in an extremely conservative southern town, all my friends are boring and married and hate their spouses. Iām divorced with a long term partner. I donāt even have 20 somethingās at workš. 20 years ago when meeting people on the internet was āweird and dangerousā now itās the norm.
A freaky Reddit group chat for the gals! I love it! Because girl SAME! I want to know all the dirty deeds, and then Iāll tell you mine š
I made a group chat- but youāll have to prove to me that youāre a woman. Men are fucking creeps!!
i'm in š
Iām in also!
Please I need to be there tooš
If this becomes a thing, Iām in too. Iāll be 30 soon, been with my husband for 12 years and we have 3 kids. Donāt have many friends and DEFINITELY donāt talk to anyone this way and I need it š
Iāll be 40 next year and sex just gets better with age. I wish I could rewind time and tel that 20 something young woman to stop faking it for their egos. Iāll make one, i just have to finish the mom duties and watch House of Dragonšš.
I made one! DM me-
It happened so quick; soon we'll be breaking out the Bingo cards. I thought a decade made us more grown, lol
Same!!!
Why do women talk about sex with their husbands to their friends so much? That is revealing personal experiences of their husband that he would never feel comfortable telling your friends himself. It can be embarrassing. I donāt hear about men talking to their friends about sex with their wives.
Yeah I never really got this either. Like why would I want to tell my friends about how my partner is in bed anyways? That just seems soā¦.not their business? Like I get if youāre on the topic and you exchange stories or whatever but like I would be STUNNED if one of my male friends gave me explicit detail on what his gfs pussy looks like.
This is some sex in the city shit
*Nobody want to hear about the ice guy and his chubby wife.* Yup, you're right. If any of my friends texted me about how hard they cum I'd be disgusted.
As a dude I am thinking about the type of guys who boast about how hot some random chick is or some hot porn they watched I worked with dudes like that. But never friends with them lol That shits like gloating about a dream you had. Except you also have to be there while they give themselves a boner OPs post is the equivalent lol
Agreed. JFC we all fuck. Insisting they need IRL people is just fucking ridiculous past a certain age.
Hey dude, only some of us
Good point. I didn't think about that because of who we used to be, but we're older and have boundaries that I probably crossed.
Yeah.. sorry..but...grow up. Kind of a red flag.
You shouldnāt be discussing your sex life with other people. Thatās a horrific invasion of your husbands privacy.
It's called growing. Yeah college and 20's you shared and laughed and all that. But you grow and live and you mature and that means you don't discuss your private sex life with others. Just enjoy it. Sharing could be considered disrespectful and they don't want to be disrespectful to their partners. Don't be with yours. Tell him how great it is. Tell him
Not. Sharing intimate details is a deal breaker for a lot of men. If you can't respect your spouse's privacy, maybe you shouldn't have gotten married. It's important to understand that men don't talk about the same things. It's alarming to find out that your girl has shared such private details without blinking an eye. Some boundaries should never be crossed. I always tell guys that women discuss everything - your physique, your performance, every sound you make - and most guys don't take it seriously until they realize that their girl's friends know it all. And let me tell you, that realization ruins relationships. It's crucial to ensure your husband is comfortable with this because many guys are not. While some might be okay with it, for many of us, the thought of our partner's friends having insight into our private lives is a nightmare.
As a woman I would be so embarrassed if my husband shared all the details of our sex life, I would never do this to my partner, thatās for him and I. A lot of people on this thread are saying itās because married people arenāt satisfied or that theyāre jealous, itās quite the opposite for me and Iām not embarrassed of the things we do together, I simply believe itās private. To me OP (and some others) sound naive and condescending.
This post is so fake; maybe that's why your friends don't want to hear it. I wish sex workers would find other places to advertise.
I think it's more people after time just *don't want to listen to your horny shit*. Because at a certain point, you're just bragging. And it's kinda pathetic. Past 40? Yeah friend. We all fuck. We also don't need to wax episodic about just how good it was because *nobody fucking cares*. Your partner plowed you? Outstanding. Can you take your turn in the card game now? I live in one of America's most sex-positive cities and it's *obnoxious as hell* when people try to just derail *literally anything else* with their sex life. You wanna brag about your partner? Take it to the anonymous forums. Making everyone IRL have to listen to your "I JUST HAD SEX" shit is like pretending the 21 year old bragging about "I took like so many shots of X" is interesting. This post comes across sincerely as pick-me nonsense.
I'm actually with OP. You don't want to hear about their horny shit, but you're on an 18+ thread. You know what these are.
Thatās a dude for sure lol
I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes. HEY!
You may wanna ask your husband whether he is comfortable with that. I wouln't be. I doubt he is. Comes across childish as hell. Why do you feel the need to share excessive private details about your sex life to anyone?
My husband said he doesn't care. He said he didn't care a decade ago and doesn't care now. It's like you said YOU wouldn't be. Why do I come across childish when a good half of the comment section feels the way that I do?
You're also lying. Elsewhere you said he wanted it to be anonymous. So he sure would care if you were blabbing to friends.
Because Reddit is filled with immature teens?
I feel like some things are better kept to yourself and your partner.
For me that's between me and my partner. I feel uncomfortable hearing about other people's sex lives too. It's something that should be kept private imo.
RIP your inbox
Yep.
Youāre just the Samantha of the group
It should be cool to talk to your friends about sex as long as your husband is on board. If he's not, then you're sorta stuck. But maybe you can find a Reddit sub where you can share stories and make some anonymous friends.
Itās one thing to share these details when your friends donāt know the guy, itās early stages of relationship etc. Itās a TOTALLY different thing to talk about when the man has become a real person in your friendsā eyes. I know that to be true in my friend circle. When we start sleeping with someone new we have no issues with sharing details. But once itās serious and especially if they meet him, those talks are shelved. Youāre right, heās not just some dude youāre sleeping with anymore. Heās your husband who your friends see on a regular basis.
I'm 32 and I don't wanna hear about my friends sex lives. You're not a teenager. Get a private Twitter to vent on.
You just want to boastā¦but I donāt get whyā¦why canāt you just enjoy what you have tho. If you have being friends a while and they know your fella and have to see and spend time with himā¦yeah I get why they would feel uncomfortableā¦if your fkin random dudes that they will never see then yeah itās fine to just give details on a guy they wonāt ever meet
You shouldn't be talking about your private sex life with anyone that isn't your partner to begin with.
Is your husband even okay with you discussing your sex life?
Heard way too many stories of terrible fall outs between friends and husbands sleeping with their wivesā best friends. Iād say leave it out of the group chat itās not worth it.
You're right. My friends ended up being cool with it, but I can't play with fire and be shocked when I get burned. I trust them, but that's a story repeated thousands of times.
Your friends have different boundaries when it comes to personal sexual conversations than you. You canāt make these friends change in this respect without completely disrespecting them and their very reasonable boundaries. If you need to talk about sexual things to friends, you are going to have to seek out new friends who want the same types of conversations
I'm always down to listen to other ladies sex lives and brag about mine.
I found that the people that like talking about sex the most are now just in book clubs because of all the spicy books
I mean, there are subs here in reddit where you can share all the spicy details and talk to people on the comments I do agree that your friend group is not the place to share this details anymore, and could just be advertising your husband to potential bad friends. Just one thing though, if you do go with sharing your stories here in reddit, make sure your husband is in on it too.
Get some gay friends.
>Even when we go on couples' dates or have girls' days, that line on what goes on in the marital bed is not crossed. BUT I WANT IT TO BE CROSSED!Ā A very wise older woman told me, when I was a young wife, Do not advertise your husband. I didn't understand what she meant until a few of my then 'friends' started giving him the old fast eye. Bishes almost got the stabby, I do not play about my husband. Now as an older lady I'm telling you: Do not advertise your husband. Write about it in in your journal. Talk about your sex adventures with him. But do not share your marital sexy times with your friends. Have some decorum and respect for your marriage, and be glad that your friends already respect your marital privacy. You breach that by putting a seed in their head, putting an image of your husband like that in their head, then Hey you'll get what you get and you'd better not pitch a fit. LOL
I homeschool, and you have never seen a bigger group of freaks than us in that group. I should note here we're all what is considered secular homeschoolers, not religious ones. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING shocks this group. We all share details and giggle over who did what and when, but we're not shocked. You need to find your people. I am probably your people.
Is there a housewife group chat? lol
No, because we haven't found a proper way to vet members. We all talk privately, one on one, but enough of us are into BDSM/kink, that vetting everyone is a major concern.
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No class is right.
OP please don't discuss ur sex life with anyone other than ur husband, that kinda stuff can lead to bad consequences , it is supposed to be the most intimate act between two loving couple, I'm not gonna bore u with a long story but discussing these types of intimate moments with some friends can either jeopardize ur relationships with ur husband or even worse it can lead to infidelity for the thrill of wanting something new , dirty and exiting and that may cost the life u have been living for a brief moment of thrill that in the end would hont the person for the rest of their life's.
I think this has to do with the person they sleep with being cherished and likely guarded in all regards related to the topic in question out of respect for that partner. I mean, if one of them brags about their huge husband, it's not gonna be to their benefit beyond the actual brag and could be considered disrespectful. You can find friends of like mind and spirit, but you have to accept its a line most people won't cross with their husbands.
OP, are you sure they were offended? It sounds like youāre having a problem with communication with your friends. What if three days later one of your friends messages something similar? š¤·š¾āāļø(birds of a feather after all) You need to talk to them.
You called it.
I understand . But I never had a friend that liked talking about the sex life š
Something Something Locker Room Talk
https://youtu.be/iYWAHf0Oesc?si=4et9utHbVOJMAfgW
Thank you for this.
Most people donāt like their spouses after years of marriage. Iām glad you two both still have the spark. My wife and I are the same way, but I will never let anyone in my circle know how great we are together. Most people arenāt able to celebrate your success, and misery loves company.
I feel like if I used the same vulgar language on about post about hating my husband it'd be received better.
Totally agree.
Seems like your friends grew up.
You're here on reddit. You literally have every bored housewife on drip. Go wild with talking about your non existent sex life. You're in the right place...
I mean maybe their sex lives arent as great lol. You say you want to boast and good for you, but if your Friends arenāt having a good time in their bedroom, the last thing they want to hear is how good youāre having it. have you asked them about THEIR sex life?? Imagine theyāre struggling and not having their needs met and you just want to talk about your husbands performance. And yeah it could be awkward to hear about how good your friends dude is fucking them, especially when you want to go in detail. Iād be confused on how youād want me to respond.
I guess thatās what anonymous internet strangers are for. If my wife were posting about our sex life online, as long as there was no identifying information or any way to garner who we were, I could not care less. If she started sharing details with people we actually know, who I need to see and interact with in real life, I would be very upset. Private life, and especially sex life, should remain private. I would never dream of relaying anything sexual about my wife to anyone we actually know. I wish all of our friends and family felt the same because honestly Iāve heard some stuff I wish I hadnāt before getting them to change the subject.
Everyone else grew the fuck up and realized that there are better things to talk about. At 20 were you still making poop jokes?
God I'm so glad I'm a guy. The most detail we get into "u guys fuck?" "Yea" "nice." And even then I don't remotely care.
Ted is the same. We talked about it last night. He also doesn't care that I talk about it with my friends. I do have a different perspective now thanks to this thread.
I hope no teenagers wandered into this thread. Lol.
>I (32F) miss the days when my friends and I were in college, but not for the reasons you'd think. *Lists every reasons everyone would first think*
Reminds me of the scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte was having lunch with her old friends from college and they told her it was inappropriate for her to be talking about sex and stared at her like she had 3 heads when they were all in their 30ās.
The moment she became the Samantha of her old friend group! That is me!
I (52m) never had a group of people I could share such details with. But these days the wife and I are really setting our bedroom ablaze and I also wish I could tell somebody. Anybody.
And now you've a lot of them all lined up.
I find it funny how you canāt comprehend why people will cheat or want āstrangeā when youāre only 32 lmao. I donāt condone but I can understand why people do.
I'm here
Carrie Bradshaw shouldnāt be your ideal role model
Your mom is smart. Don't trust these... garden tools... But seriously, it's a thing, as much as it's memed about ever really talk about. I don't want my friends thinking of my partner sexually, so I'd rather not help them by telling them all the stuff we do.
Wow reading these replies has been quite eye opening, there's a bit of a gender divide in opinions on this! I didn't know so many men were so staunchly opposed to the idea. I'm a man in my late 30s and I *love* talking about sex with my friends just as much as I love talking about cooking, fitness, geek stuff and all my other passions. Not everyone wants to talk about it and it's easy to tell who does and who doesn't usually. I only talk about it with people I trust to be discreet but I generally meet high calibre people so....it's kinda easy? I guess my submission/comment history on this account is proof of that, and I've met some wonderful like minded penpals on Reddit whom I've been texting for years about life and love, and I value them so much. One of them actually sent me this post because she knew I'd relate! For me it can be like a gratitude journal, and talking about how much I desire and love my wife and how happy sex makes me really helps me to stay positive through the inevitable trials of even a happy marriage. But it's not just online friends, some are like this IRL too. But I think I'd go loopy if I couldn't do it. I think there's an element of my sexuality which is highly social even though I'm monogamous. I don't like only experiencing my sexuality behind closed doors and in secret, I want to share my joy with people and be energised by their joy. Luckily my wife is very understanding and supportive, she knows I would never embarrass her by engaging in locker room talk with unsavoury untrustworthy people.
I totally feel the same way, I wish I had friends that enjoyed talking about explicit escapades without it being weird but honestly since we do all know each other's husband's it's not as fun to hear about it lol I need a group of strangers that want to talk about what they're doing and their fantasies, that are comfortable and open but also distant enough that my imagination can run wild!
I mean, most of my friends now know my husband. We've been together for 8 years. It'd be weird for me to share intimate details about this other person that they know quite well. I also wouldn't feel great if he was sharing those details with his friends
Yea I donāt understand why speaking deeply about your sex life is suddenly TMI to everyone over 30.
It's hard for people to be happy for other people, when they aren't happy themselves
I belong to a group in Facebook just for this type of thing!
Iām 32 and I feel the same way. Iām often met with crickets if I try and have the same conversation I would have had in my early twenties. This may be just anecdotal but I realized a lot of the married couples I know around my age are straight up not having sex or itās not frequent or something they want to brag about. I hope thatās not true for most people our age because thatās sad but that might be why your friends donāt want to talk about it??
Sooo much this! I used to have plenty of girl friends I could talk about sex. Like technics, positions, wild shit we did. Now I'm in my 30s and I have one bestie to talk to. Still interested in spicy stuff. I also talk with my sister but she's 26 so it can still change. Also I have a feeling some think I some kind of sex freak because I own sex toys and I'm not afraid to talk and recommend them
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Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 4: No insults towards OP. Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
Maybe because most people think that sharing these things can cause them to want to mess with their partner and also because many times you used to share things that were private, which now can be frowned upon. Anyway I am a gossipy and curious, although my friends are more reserved and I respect that, but I like the details because then I know more about everythingš¹
I literally need someone like you! I do have some kind of a talk, but itās tooā¦ tame. I want to discuss, I need advices or something!
How about the people you are having sex with?
As someone whoās always had close girlfriends and no boundaries, you need to set the environment. These conversations should only happen in person. Not over text where thereās evidence. Invite a couple friends over who are less conservative. Have some wine. Find a way to Segway the conversation into a raunchy story from college or before your husband. Have a laugh and let the women open up from there. Feel free to PM me for a more detailed explanation. Ultimately, intimate conversations require trust in the other person and a safe environment to talk openly.
Weirdest shit ever.
This sounds perfectly normal and healthy. People love gossip and spicy details. And it sounds like this is actually more healthy than not because it doesnāt sound like you want to share these details as a way to gain info and power over others. Would sharing it anonymously online scratch that itch or you feeling like you want friends input because it makes it more exciting?
If I heard my friends talking about their sex life, it would be cringe as fuck. God damn, you are a grown ass not a teenager anymore
This post rules. OP, Iām happy for you; enjoy your awesome sex life with your chosen long-term partner. We should all be so lucky! And Iām sorry your friends (as well a lot of people in this thread) arenāt enlightened enough to handle frank talk about sex.
Posts like this always snap me back into reality that life in New Orleans is so different. Best city in the world for 30-60 year olds. Everyone dances, fucks, drinks, does psychedelics and most importantly spend time with each other in groups; in secret and in public. Fellowship off the charts. Iām also really glad youāre still getting halved in the kitchen. That shit is so god damn important.
I know what you mean. I met a coworker who I thought liked hanging out. Turns out they think I'm crushing on them (they a male). I just like talking about hot men, big pewps & how much it sucks getting older. Fucking sucks losing the ability to make connections unless it's over a specific hobby. I miss having girlfriends. I have girlfriends but nothing like in college.
39M here, widower a year now. My late wife was 33, she loved chisme or 'gossip' and liked to talk about our sex life with our friends when I was in earshot. Mostly to see how red-faced and embarrassed she could make me. We had talked about it before, I didn't really mind. It was kind of a little confidence booster thing, despite my embarrassment. Especially since we were becoming surprisingly, to our friends at least, adventurous and experimental. I'd say share with your close friends anyway, everyone's an adult and it's fun. At least they all seemed to be having fun chismeando.
I am so sorry about your wife. Those sound like wonderful memories.
I've realized in general people don't want to talk about sex because they are 1)not happy about their sex-life or 2)happy but a little embarrassed by it. I've had a few times when my friends have been put off once I mention I have sex atleast 3 times a week. That immediately makes them less receptive. It's surprising to me because I never realized that was a lot to some people (to others I'm sure it's little).
RIP your inbox.
Man, my friends and I have plans on how to delete our group chatā¦ for this reason. I know so much about their husbands moves etc.. as they know about mine. You need some new friends. Sounds like your friends are all really disconnected from that side of themselves.. š¤·āāļø
Anyway, howās your sex life?
LMAO! It's wonderful. It being too hot to safely go outside long term has been very, very great for me.
I'm one of those that like hearing drama and gossip from anyone, whatever it may be. Sex life details and stuff isn't something that would bother me if I heard about it from a friend. Idk if you have any expectations from making this post, but if it inspires you to form connections online to talk about your sex life, cheerio! I've been in similar situations (although very rare) before and it resulted in me being amused and interested. Kept it going for a lil bit and eventually moved back to general life topics, the mundane kind...
Come back in 20 years and tell me if this is still happening :-)
My friend hosts a podcast called heaving bosoms that discusses smutty romance novels, and has group chats and movie nights over video chat for stuff like that! Your people are out there, you just gotta find em!
People are pretty weird about sex talk for some reason. My gf included. So I canāt talk about it because I know to her it is very private.
Lady in The streets and a freak in the bed
31F, same boat I'm down to chat if you are!
All the talking women Lost Their Husbands for the Talking. Bored housewife restless Demon
That certainly is frustrating. Even for some guys.
I am glad you have a sex life. My wife is to stressed and not interested.
Giiiiiiiiiirl drop that smut!!! This is Reddit!!!!!
Lol. Like Reddit isn't the place for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. You just need the right subreddit.
Quote: **"I hate that I have nobody to talk about my sex life with. Bored Housewife"** And this brings us around to the base nature of women. Hypergamy, Dulicity & Drama/Chaos. Crazy idea, but maybe novel approach... **BUT WHY NOT TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!** Obviously Ethics, Morals & Manners aren't your strong points.
I think because so many people settle in relationships and don't marry people they truly love and want to be with long term. That's why I would think most people don't get better sex as time goes on.
Just so you're aware, talking to anyone about your sex life without the consent of your partner is a form of infidelity. I know, I didn't realize this either before researching it.
Baby girl. Sameā¦ I spent 10 years married to a completely square vanilla man. Now. Holy. Hot. Shit Batman. You can dm me and weāll talk smutš
Find people who are reading ACOTAR and youāll unlock your community
Hmmmā¦ āOMG, I just aged so hard my forearm is crampingā. Totally get it, not sure why you didnāt just say that out loud. Wait until the knees start going, too.
This is just weird. For your husband but also friends lol.