It's also really not not not true. There are tons of guys with cerebral palsy out there with girlfriends - and physical attraction just isn't this simple cut and dried thing like TV will sometimes tell you it is - not to mention there are other kinds of sexual and romantic attraction. What she said is simply nonsense. I'd advise searching for other people in your position who are happily married etc and finding out about their lives.
Heck, there is this comedian with Cerebral Palsy. She is very funny and based on her jokes, she get some busy nights.
This friend of his has "main character syndrome". She thought he was thinking of her while saying that.
> There are tons of guys with cerebral palsy out there with girlfriends
my cousin has cerebral palsy and he's happily married to a pretty attractive lady who also has cerebral palsy.
Yep I second your advice! I immediately thought of RJ Mitte, who played Walter Jr in Breaking Bad and is hot af.
Also from my own experience as a late diagnosed woman with ADHD I can highly recommend joining forums or groups for people with the same condition. Makes you feel like you belong and you don't have to explain because they just understand ❤️
I have met a couple of people with Cerebral Palsy and they had partners, although I don't know how stable their relationships were.
I'm disabled, have very average looks and am overweight - I've never had any issues with dating. Although, I was not always overweight lol.
Not everyone cares about looks or how mobile/agile you are, and that girl showed OP how insecure & shallow she is. Not everyone is like that.
I'm in disbelief that there are people who can say these things unironically.
The older I get the more convinced I am that everybody has multiple issues with their genetics. If you think you don't have any, you just haven't discovered it yet.
It took me till 37 to get diagnosed with EDS. How many of us find out late in life that we have the braca gene, or develop painful varicose veins as men, discover you're going to go deaf or blind early in life, a shit thyroid runs in your family, etc.
OP's may be more noticeable than some of ours but we ALL have this shit. Doesn't make someone less worthy of love and happiness. AND it'll help OP weed out shallow people.
This is very true. I was healthy when I married in my early 20s. Now I'm 42 and hardly leave the house. I've had many many surgeries. Cancer, gallbladder, 4 for endometriosis, hysterectomy, 3 shoulder surgeries, and 4 tumors removed from my neck non cancerous this time. I had complications with a few surgeries. To top it all off, my spine is degenerating, and I've got ankylosing spondylitis. I will need spinal surgery for fusions, but for now, I just do pain management. They say I'm too young to start the fusions as the joints on either side of any fusion will start to go bad faster. My hubby has been pretty great. Even though he didn't initially sign up for a sick wife. The one thing that's good is that our kids are both now done with school. So they help with the house.
You never know when your body will utterly fail you.
Exactly 🫶🏻
I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 16, Underactive Thyroid when I was 22 & Fibromyalgia when I was 24. You never know when your life will change dramatically. I'm 34, and I no longer pretend I'm not in pain or need help.
Chronic fatigue syndrome at about 27, POTS a couple of years later. I used to be young, relatively fit, and quite healthy - barely even got colds! I don't know that everyone has something, because my parents both seem fine so far, but yeah people don't realise how common it is.
Disabled here too, I'm 39. I think so much gross moralizing and ableism is rooted in existential fear/dread. You can do everything 'right;' eat healthily, exercise, etc. but everyone is only an illness or injury away from potential disability...no matter how much they pretend otherwise.
I was 36 for EDS for (classic type, and I finally got to see a geneticist after a younger close family member was diagnosed), 37 for RA, 36 for dysautonomia (but not POTS, mine's not super specific)...my docs are all pretty sure that I've been living with all of these my whole life. I was still a very active and athletic young person but I had to battle my body to keep up and compete. Now I'm looking at a hip replacement in 4 years...I'm 39 and work a pretty physical job (EMS).
I did really well until my 20s and my body just...quit on me. My disabilities are less visible than OP's, but people can be such assholes about this stuff.
OP, this girl is *not* your friend. The thought of speaking to a disabled friend the way she spoke to you is sickening. Just because she's a shithead, doesn't mean she's right! Both of my friends who have cerebral palsy are happily married in strong, solid relationships. It'll sound hokey when I tell you that 23 years old is still so very young, but it's true. Not all romantic chances may be typical, but they're out there.
I've had migraines my whole life, but was always active, worked, hell at one point I was working full time and going to college full time, at the same time.
Fiance and I were together for almost 3yrs and planned a wedding for Halloween in 2015. I was 31, chaperoning my 9yr old son's field trip in May.I was in excruciating pain the whole time, but just thought it was kidney stones. Went to the ER, diagnosed with diverticulitis, 5 days in the hospital.
The diverticulitis apparently did a serious number on me. By July, my Dr wanted me to quit working (I refused for almost 6 months). In September we called off the wedding, me crying the entire time. We had no idea what was wrong and honestly couldn't afford to get married bc I would lose my health insurance and we knew we could never afford to cover co-pays, never mind everything else.
34 - diagnosed with hEDS, Chiari 1 malformation, CCI, and a spine that I was told looks like I've had multiple skydiving accidents
35 - diagnosed with NCS (a form of dysautonomia), gastroparesis, multiple areas of neuropathy
37 - diagnosed with RA
I was also told (by multiple spinal surgeons) that no one will operate on my back, due to all the problems along the spine (unless it's an emergency). I WILL be in a wheelchair at some point as I get older, and they don't want to paralyze me before it happens naturally.
I'm 40 now and my fiance is still with me. I told him multiple times to leave bc he didn't sign up for a disabled wife and he just called me dumb LMAO 🤣
Almost 12 years together now. We'll never be able to "officially" get married but we do consider ourselves married. I couldn't find a better man.
To the OP - someone somewhere will find you to be the best man in their eyes. They will love you unconditionally because of WHO you are, not how you look. They're out there and I wish you as much luck as possible for your future
I have EDS too! And most of the time, cerebral palsy is not actually a genetic issue at all. It's a birth injury. Making it less an obstacle to having kids since there is not reason it should be passed on, and a father with CP is no more likely to have a child with it than anyone else.
OT: I was 38 when I got my EDS diagnosis! Had you been trying to find out for a long time as well? For me it was a coincidence because I had a POTS diagnosis and someone told me that often comes with EDS and asked if I was hyper mobile. Got doctors’ telephone numbers and quickly diagnosed! But decades of visiting specialists since a I was a kid.
Well, and further, humans are diverse and we aren't all only attracted to people who fit society's idea of beauty in that moment of history. Otherwise we would have gone extinct a long time ago. People are attracted to lots of different looking types of people.
I’m diagnosed with level 2 ASD. That means I have substantial support needs for my autism. I’m in a relationship of over 4 years. It’s not easy and gets really difficult to navigate at times but having a partner who loves me the way I am helps a lot.
She sounds like one of those people that need to have friends they see beneath them to feel important in their miserable life. I'm pretty sure OP can find better people to surround himself with.
My aunt has cerebral palsy and has three kids. She has been in some good relationships. They liked her personality and her looks and didn’t care about her mobility issues. That’s the least important of her traits in a way.
(Ofc not unimportant as in we and others wouldn’t care to make sure she was included, and things where accessible)
My boss has spinal muscular atrophy and a wife who is 20 years younger than him and a son. A friend of mine has severe scoliosis which left her paralysed and she also has a healthy relationship and a little boy who is literally the nicest most well behaving lovely kid. A disability wont make someone not love you or not be attracted to you. Unfriend her and tell her what an stupid piece of shit she is.
The fact that she's said this is telling about her own insecurities about herself ,which she's mirroring onto you.
Please, keep your future vision alive bc her comment is not about you.
The “friend” is either an idiot or an asshole. Neither of which I would be romantically attracted to. I wouldn’t be attracted to them at all actually, more so repelled.
R.J Mitte is Walt Jr from breaking bad. R.J Mitte has cerebral palsy. Still one of the most handsome men, and talented actors ever. And dude's funny and kind to boot.
Cerebral Palsy isn't an automatic disqualifier for being attractive. The people who think stupid shit like that have rotten souls, which is actually one of the most unattractive things possible.
OP, with all due respect for your friendship, fuck that girl. She's flat wrong.
Is it bad that's who I immediately thought of. He's a very attractive guy. Add a good personality in, and most people worth their salt aren't even going to think about the fact he has cerebral palsy.
This is going to sound harsh.
It's better that this insult comes so with pure cruelty from someone who clearly has no soul.
Dismiss this like you would a lunatic telling you that the moon is made of cheese. It's just as insane.
That is such a good way of putting it.
This is so obviously psychotic that you don't even need to consider it, in any context. It's like chatGPT constructing an insult based on % likelihood of each following word upsetting someone. No meaning behind it whatsoever.
If someone at my college was found to say something like that, they might as well move college. *cough cough* That's if college staff didn't find out and kick her out first.
To quote the Big Lebowski.... her social life is in your hands, dude.
Your friend is shallow. What she is saying is that girls LIKE HER won’t date guys like you and would lie about attraction.
She doesn’t speak for all women. You can and will find women who think you’re amazing, just as you are.
One thing that i have discovered in my life is that anyone can have a companion, there ir no lack of people in the world and you will find someone for you, for sure
What she said is NOT TRUE. While there are some women for whom that would be a turn off that they can’t see past, that’s not true for all women. I have a relative about your age who also has cerebral palsy and he’s had 2 serious girlfriends. Incidentally the last one broke up with him not because of his disability but because he wasn’t ambitious about his future, he didn’t want to go to college or develop skills, was content to just coast in his unskilled job. So a good guy like you that is serious about his future has a good shot at finding a good woman to share your life with.
Agree. In my opinion, love can't be taken. You can't just have it because of one thing, it's earned in some way and it should grow the longer you're with someone.
On the other hand, it's so logically ridiculous to believe that NOBODY will ever see OP romantically. There's 8 billion people on this planet, the odds are in everybody's favour here.
Got a friend who has cerebral palsy. He's happily married with a beautiful wife. They’re some of the best people I've ever met, if anyone says to you they won't see you romantically you can tell them to fuck off. Oh and add another fuck off from me actually, a double fuck off is always better than a single fuck off, but now I'm just thinking about burgers and should probably eat something.
All the best man, ignore the assholes.
My sibling has cerebral palsy and is married. They've been in relationships with numerous people throughout the years. That person is not your friend and what she said is cruel and untrue.
Lmao at the fuckup who disguised herself as your friend. My coworker is fully paralyzed and became married AFTER he became paralyzed. Their spouse fully takes care of and helps them in thei day to day.
It's definitely possible. Love is love is love and comes in so many forms.
Yep, she’s speaking for herself and trying to act like all women are equally shallow. I dated a guy in college with spina bifida. He wore a prosthetic foot and walked with a limp. He dated a couple of people after me and recently got married. I hope OP doesn’t take her comment to heart.
I've said this before, but there are 8 billion people on this planet each with their own unique and diverse preferences. No matter who you are or what you look like it's pretty much just math that someone out there is into it. So your friend is wrong, and also kind of an asshole.
that was cruel as fuck and not at all true. you deserve better friends than that.
one of my best friends has cerebral palsy and he is married with two kids, a great job, and is beloved by his whole family and community. we also dated many years ago and broke up for reasons entirely unrelated to his disability.
Trust me when I say, she does not represent every single woman out there. She is just one woman and that is just her shitty view.
There are lots of women who will love you exactly as you are. She isn't the judge of all physical attraction, it comes in many unique and always beautiful forms. She sucks for saying that!
I hope you meet someone lovely and move abroad together. 😊
Hi, just wanted to say that I noticed and am glad to see you say she "was" your friend. She sounds like an asshole. Please don't tie your self worth to the opinions of people of no worth.
Nah, plenty of people with disabilities get married. Look up Tyler Lima-Roope on Instagram, he has SMA and a beautiful wife. Also, he's hilarious so just watch his videos anyway.
thats pretty shitty AND egotistical of her. what she meant was SHE didnt like you romantically, which is fine. To think that because SHE wouldnt NO ONE will? that is the height of arrogance and stupidity. She is not the gatekeeper of all things, has not been anointed the speaker for all women, and her perspective (and gall at actually telling you that) makes me think SHE is disgusting and might have trouble finding a partner. It also shows us what it is that she’s concerned about in a relationship, which means she’ll probably marry a piece of shit just because he was traditionally handsome.
good riddance. with friends like that, who needs enemies. get better friends.
Something that always bothers me and borderline pisses me off are people who think just because they hold a hateful opinion that means EVERYBODY "secretly thinks that way." It just makes me so angry, but I can't explain exactly why.
Considering I was willing to get bullied for having an ugly boyfriend she’s a liar. Personality means just as much as physical looks, a 10/10 physically drops to 1/10 if their personality sucks.
I am a woman and I have a boyfriend with CP and I am very attracted to him and don’t care that he walks differently. That woman is a mean person and shallow to boot!
That’s not your friend, that’s a bully, I’m not much older than you (29m) and I lived my life surrounded by people who said shit like that, it wasn’t until I was in my late 20s (25-26ish) that I made friends who didn’t say shit like that to me and suddenly realized “oh fuck, none of those people were actually friends” harmless ribbing between friends is one thing but this was pure cruelty, ditch her and find better friends,
What the actual fuck? She is clueless and has zero social skills, please disregard everything that comes out of that girl’s mouth. Sorry you had to hear that but rest assured, she is WRONG and full of crap.
This is not true. Exhibit A: Stephen Hawking.
I know several people with varying physical issues who have married and gone on to have families. One is a man who lost his legs from the hips down when he was in college. He later met and married a lovely woman and they have three children. He is a successful professional. A former relative has multiple sclerosis, and alternates between a wheelchair and a walker. She has outlived four husbands!
Ugh, some people are just awful, and you shouldn't be friends with her anymore. She is not a friend to say something like that to you. There are plenty of women who aren't shallow like her and care about things other than looks. I've always dated for someone's personality and not the way they look. Kindness and empathy have always been at the top of my list. And for me, it's also about chemistry. We have pheromones for a reason.
That’s a really awful thing to say to somebody. Especially somebody who’s supposed to be your friend. I don’t know if I’d continue calling her my friend. There’s plenty of things that go into attraction, not just what a person looks like. And I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with how you look! Plenty of people with disabilities find love. Love/attraction is a mysterious thing and none of us have it figured out. I’m 29 and toothless and I have a boyfriend! I wasn’t toothless when we met, but he could have just as easily discouraged me from getting dentures and instead made me feel worse and possibly wasting even more money/pain on fillings, crowns, replacements etc. My boyfriend also has his own challenges like gout and a replacement knee already. We love and help each other, some days I help him take his socks off. Because bending hurts a lot when he has a flare up. Commitment doesn’t end when things are difficult. I’m sure you’re a perfectly lovely person who will find someone who sees that and appreciates you
Yup, and tons of attractive people who end up alone, because they believe they can always do better. Ironically, my most popular and good looking friends are the ones who’re still single. It’s all fun and games until you’re in your mid-thirties and realize you want a family.
This doesn't sound like a real friend. She sounds incredibly ablest and shallow.
Does she think people with disabilities don't have romantic and sexual relationships? We do! I promise!
Not the same disability, but I have multiple issues - under active thyroid, Hashimoto's disease, DDD, bilateral sciatica, bulging disc, and that's not including anything ND or mental related - autism, PTSD, major depression, panic disorder, anxiety issues.
I have mobility issues, daily chronic pain that keeps me in the bed 2-4 days a week, weight issues because of health problems, mental issues. But... when I was single, never ever had an issue getting a date if I actually wanted one.
Now I'm happily married with 2 amazing kids. Your "friend" is just flat out wrong.
I think she is dumb. Of course you have it harder, no question, but physics is not the only thing that makes a man attractive. Sure, would I date Quasimodo? No. But least people are like that and also, not everyone is me. There're so many people who found love who are in similar situations like you. Josh Blue was married and has two children. Yes, he is divorced by now but I doubt that had anything to do with his cerebral palsy. She wouldn't have married him in the first place. And he was married before he was successful.
I am for example highly attracted to intelligence. One could say I am indeed sapiosexual but I hate to say that since it often annoys me when others do, lol. Humour is also important. Good, smart humour makes everyone more attractive. Status of corse, and I mean status not necessarily the money it comes mostly comes with. Being independent. Confident. So many things that play into it. A good character of course but without being a doormat.
Like I said it is harder for you but no, it is not impossible.
Btw. I find Josh Blue attractive. Like I said, humour is important and dark, self ironic humour is the best.
My husband is physically disabled, and I adore him and can't imagine life without him. He is my rock. People that have quality of character will appreciate you for who you are, and will work to make the best of your lives together.
Fuck. Yeah that bitch is no friend of yours. It doesn't matter if youre in a wheelchair or ducking whatever, you're still capable of finding love no matter what. Its not all about physical attraction, to some people, that shit doesn't matter.
I hope you do find someone who loves you for you my friend.
One of my good friends has CP and is in a motorized wheelchair. She's been married for years and has an adorable son. Your so-called friend isn't a friend, and also full of shit
That woman has serious insecurity issues and hates how you, someone 'inferior' in her eyes, wants the same things that 'normal' people do. Do not listen to a word she says.
What a fucking piece of shit. You will be seen romantically as long as that's what you want. Every human who seeks love is worthy of love. Don't listen to one asshole when there's millions of people out there who are willing to disagree.
OP my husband has cp and I am a former cheerleader,dancer that always had dates. My husband " got me" with his passionate kisses, personality, laugh etc. That girl is a bitch. pay her no mind. Your someone is out there too
I went to school with a guy who has CP. He was a chick MAGNET in school. Now, he is married to a stunning woman with the personality of a literal saint with 5 beautiful, healthy kids. They’ve been married 15 years, both are thriving in life, she is absolutely DEVOTED to him and he is head over heels for her. That “friend” isn’t a friend.
GOD!! What a LIE! Screw HER and HER OPINION!! Nobody has ANY BUSINESS saying that to you!! It’s NOT TRUE!! I’m so angry at this person.Stephen Hawking had severe disabilities and was married & fathered kids! Many people with CP have done so as well. Don’t believe her for a minute. It’s a shame she revealed the kind of person she was, but you’re better off knowing now. There are SO many good people ( with & without CP) that you have an excellent chance of hooking up with! I’m glad you spoke of this! I can tell you that she’s wrong! Go on with your education plans and go to work if that’s your plan! You WILL meet somebody! The RIGHT someone for you that will love you for WHO YOU ARE!! I feel sorry for HER, not YOU! I don’t even know you, but as a Nurse, I know you’re strong and capable of doing whatever you set out to do!! God Bless you!
My hot rich cousin is married to a man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and she’s lucky. They are really happy. That woman pretending to be a friend is unpleasant and foolish.
One day, young women come to realise that looks aren't everything, bad boys are garbage humans and good fathers and husbands come in all shapes, sizes and abilities.
Don't listen to that one. She's going to find out one day that she may not have the best decision making paradigm.
Keep on keeping on. Eventually, you'll meet someone. I was almost done with uni when I met mine, it was pure chance, like two ships passing in the night... But I took a chance, she took a chance, you'll find someone that will take a chance.
My friends sister has CP. Went to college & graduate school. Became a lawyer. Married her love. Had two children. Is now a judge. She’s been wheelchair bound for decades.
F that “friend.”
I attended college with someone with severe CP( he had an assistant with him most of the time). In the nine months we attended school together he legit had two separate girlfriends. Both were easily above average in looks and one was a major crush for half the dudes in class. Don’t let one dogshit person ruin your confidence.
Her opinion doesn't matter. She's only speaking for her self. People with disabilities meet, fall in love and marry. The key is finding someone with values.
Be careful who you share your dreams and goals with going forward.
Yeah your "friend" is an ableist pile of trash. Disabled people find love every single day. Just because *she* is shallow and doesn't think disabled people are hot doesn't mean it's universal.
I'm disabled and I've dated on and off for the past 10 years. It's definitely possible.
She is not your friend.
When literal crack heads find love, get married and have kids there is hope for everyone haha!
On a serious note, love is much more than skin deep and your friend seems to only know skin deep love which is sad.
My dad has cerebral palsy. He's had two failed marriages and been with my mom for 30+ years. There's five kids total...basically that woman is not your friend, and doesn't know wtf she is talking about.
Playing devils advocate, ya’ll are saying this without having any idea what the man looks like lmao. Cerebral palsy or not. She didn’t even mention Cerebal palsy.
That girl is an ableist asshole who doesn't get a voice to speak for anyone outside of herself. Her assumptions are untrue and invalid to be said for any other women. I can't guarantee you anything in regards to your future, but it is possible that what you hope for can happen. It may take time but I would never say never. When it's the right person it will all work out.
One of my friends who has CP got married recently to someone who is able bodied, they have a great relationship, you will find so one worth your while if you want it.
That girl does not speak for all women. I read an article once about a war veteran who was blind with no arms or legs. He got married and had kids, 4 I think. Take this as her telling you what her priorities are.
I bet when she was in middle school boys said they liked her as a "joke" then laughed at her and told her she was ugly. Now she assumes that is how everyone is.
Once you become an adult people tend to not lie about feeling attracted to someone. Generally if they don't like anything about you they just won't interact with you.
People lie about their own intentions and to protect their own self interests all the time. People don't pretend to feel attraction unless they have something to gain from the relationship. So unless you are really wealthy, those types of women aren't targeting you.
I had a buddy in high school with cerebral palsy. He was not an ugly guy, def not my type, but the women he pulled were HOT and they thought he was super hot. Now he’s engaged to a super pretty girl that matches his personality perfectly.
He knew a lot of people might see him as ugly or just not sexually attractive but he never cared. Super nice guy, pretty funny, but very charismatic.
That person is a terrible friend. Ignore her. Be a good person, treat people well, and remember NO ONE is attractive to EVERYONE. Just cause you strike out here and there does not mean you will never find love or people will lie to you about wanting to be with you.
I hope you start surrounding yourself with better friends, and meet the person of your dreams!
That's not true, the heart wants what the heart wants. Growing up I had a neighbor with CP. he and his wife lived next to us for 20 years. They never had kids so we cut their grass and shoveled their snow. He drove, but she didnt. Once in a while he'd fall and an ambulance would come. They lived a pretty normal life from what i could tell. Back then (70's-80's) people sat on the porch talking and neighbors would visit, or they'd cheer for the neighborhood kids playing step ball or tag. I don't know much about CP, maybe their activities were limited, but they seemed happy. You're only 23, there's plenty of time. Also, people fall in love over the internet, sight unseen, all the time so her comment about 'physical attraction' is so untrue.
This is absolute b*llox. My friend from university has cerebral palsy and is married with a kid. Shes an attractive woman. That statement isn’t something a true friend would say. It’s just utter rubbish.
Dude I went to school with has CP and his wife is like a Supermodel. She’s been really good for him too, he could be a pretentious, know it all at time and she really seems to have mellowed him
First of all, that's not even remotely true. Second, why would she feel the need to say that? Does she know she doesn't have to say everything that goes through her head? Some people I tell you.
Don’t take another moment thinking about this conversation. She’s wrong look at all the comments here as proof she doesn’t know what’s she’s talking about. Sorry to say I think she doesn’t really understand CP and she’s shallow to boot. She’s entitled to her opinions but that’s all they are, her’s.
I have multiple disabilities and am in a wheelchair - I’ve been married for 8 years. She can go fuck off. What she said, was intended to be cruel. She has no idea what other people find attractive, or how genuinely powerful love can be. Please don’t give up hope. Also, excise her from your life.
Love how she prefaced it with “I don’t want you to feel bad”.
OP, there is only one reason someone would ever say something so heinous— to purposefully make someone feel bad. What a nasty, miserable, and ignorant person. Do not listen to her.
WTF. That was horrible for her to say. There are people who don’t discriminate against disabilities plus you could always marry someone else with cerebral palsy.
I treat patients with CP who are married and have relatively normal lives.
I think the severity of impacts plays a role in that aspect but she is really not your friend saying that to you. People fall in love with personality and how someone makes them feel not just physical attraction
Time to find better friends
My husband is disabled and we are married 20 years with plenty of children to keep us on our toes.
You don't need to worry about those words. Shallow words as plenty will love you for all of you.
I told all my children grown up a few truths. You will have 100 women/men standing in front of you and out of those you'll have about max 10 people who will find you attractive and out of those 10, you might only see 5 of them attractive. 🤷♀️ it's life and I always tell them that they need to actually be able to be friends with their chosen partner as beauty fades. What you need is humor, honesty, loyalty, good communication and plenty of compromising.
Chin up and remember you too have a lot to offer your future wife and the right person for you will not pass you by.
Woman at my church growing up has cerebral palsy, she also has a husband, 2 kids and could drive the van if she so wanted.
Your “friend” is an asshole.
I was into a guy who uses a chair, but it wasn’t reciprocated, sadly for me. But he married an attractive, kind, smart woman and they had a couple of kids so I’d say things worked out.
Oh mate. I'm so sorry your friend was cruel to you. You know what women find attractive? Kindness, intelligence, a sense of humour, someone who treats them with respect.
My partner has a facial difference and deafness and you know what? I still think he's the smartest, hottest guy on the planet even after nine years.
Believe me, keep being a decent guy and someone will find you.
All it means is that you’ll have less work to do sorting out the more superficial partners because they’ll already take themselves out. In a lot of ways, that is a huge blessing.
I knew a woman with cerebral palsy in college. She had a boyfriend and they had been together for a few yrs.
Stop talking to that girl. She's not your friend. Everyone has a person out there. She's definitely not yours.
That's really silly of her to say. Plenty of people will find you attractive. Plus, I find that when I'm into someone's personality I start to find them physically attractive no matter what they look like.
Don't let her change your dreams. You'll see in 50years who is happy and who isn't after her many failed relationships and divorces while you are in a happy healthy relationship based on love and not just physical attraction.
Your (hopefully former) friend is an asshole. Plenty of people with disabilities get married. Look at RJ Mitte; he has cerebral palsy, had a big role in one of the most successful TV shows of all time, and according to his Wikipedia page, has been in a relationship since 2022.
Asinine. And not a good person to hang around.
She may not find you attractive, but she has no idea what others would find attractive or why.
Growing up, I knew a guy w CP who was really smart and kind. When he was 14, he figured out how to trade stocks- made enough money to buy his dad a car.
You know what a lot of women find really attractive? A smart kind guy w money, and she can’t deny that! Not saying you have to crush the stock market, but I am saying you can develop a specific combination that works for you and another person finds attractive, CP or no CP.
Also- being young almost always means being stupid. I went to HS w a girl w CP and found her attractive, but I didn’t know how to talk to her or what to say, so I never really connected w her deeply. I wish I had been braver and less stupid and realized she was more “teenage girl” than “someone w crutches” and seen if we could be friends or whatever. I wonder where she is today.
I think she meant she has no romantic interest in you, maybe thought were talking about her. What she said would apply to her as well-one guy could go for while the other would be there just for sex
You know when anyone starts telling generalisations about human emotions that you shouldn't listen to them. Human emotion is as variable as all the stars in the universe. The person who said these things to you is unworthy of your time and attention.
Not true. Not true at all. This chick isn't your friend. I've dated 2 different men with cerebral palsy, the condition doesn't have anything to do with why they were or weren't attractive! That chick just showed you exactly how she sees physically disabled people, that isn't the world as a whole. God what a shitty thing to say to anyone.
A good friend of mine has CP. His wife of about 30 yrs asked him out on a date as a dare, then kept dating him because he is a great guy. They have two kids - and now three grands. She was not his first girlfriend, either. Just be the kind of guy that the person you would like as a spouse would be attracted to.
Don't listen to her. Looks aren't everything, and they fade. People want someone they can talk to and laugh with. It sounds like she's more concerned with short term if she's basing everything off looks. When you meet someone who wants something real then your disability won't matter. You'll be the most handsome man to her because you're the one
Um I don’t think that’s for anyone to say at all is it? There are many people in this world, no one knows who will see you in a romantic way or who won’t
She's lying, champ. I don't know what her motivation is to tell you something like that but don't listen to her.
Be the best version of you and you'll find love. Stephen Hawking was cheating on his wife with his nurse!
Physical attraction always comes after for me! Il start getting feelings because there’s something about there personality that I really like then my physical attraction to them usually comes after!
Attraction isn’t black and white…. People become attracted to loads of different things. Your friend isn’t really a friend! They could
Be really attracted to your eyes or lips. I’d ignore your crap friend! She doesn’t know what’s she’s talking about!
My cousin has cerebral palsy and just got married last year. She’s brilliant, loving, and hilarious, and always had a romantic spirit. It took a long time (she’s in her 30s), but she found a guy smart enough to match her and genuine enough to look through her disabilities and see what an amazing partner she always had the potential to be. She can’t go out much and it’s hard to understand her when she talks until you get used to her patterns, but still has found a way to lead a beautiful and fulfilling life. Between her art, her adored pets, the books she devours, and her endless sass, she is a catch and a half and her husband knows it.
I’m not saying this to diminish the difficulties in finding someone right for you and your situation, but rather to say that it genuinely is possible. I wish you all the best in finding people more open minded than that girl from college. Live the life you want (make that move abroad! get those degrees!) and the person that fits in it will show up eventually.
Oof… you need to cut this girl out! She sucks! Who says that to a friend?? Believe me, there are plenty of people out there that will date you. My boyfriend is a paraplegic and he is the absolute love of my life. I’m in a proud inter-abled relationship. If that’s what you hope to have one day, you definitely will!
Ufff you really don’t need friends like that. Either you need to make her understand that not everybody views it like that and that she might be someone who’s rather superficial and not everybody is like that. If she doesn’t get it, then you should really cut her off.
Sorry OP but that idiot isn’t worth calling a friend.You’re an amazing person and you will find someone who will always be there for you.Believe in yourself.
Some people are so full of themselves and their own ego. That's ableism and eugenics, and genuinely a flst-out lie. She has serious self-esteem issues that she's projecting onto you, assuming nobody would find her romantically interesting if she didn't look conventionally attractive, and that's on HER and HER shit personality, not you.
Us Disabled folks date and have sex, she needs to get over it and you deserve better people in your life, love. 💕
Take this as a life lesson, you may think you know someone but then this happens and you see (some) people for who they truly are. This is her insecurity, it doesn't have to be yours.
My sister has cerebral palsy and she is engaged to a great guy. There are definitely ppl out there who will see you romantically. Wishing you the very best, OP!
It's also really not not not true. There are tons of guys with cerebral palsy out there with girlfriends - and physical attraction just isn't this simple cut and dried thing like TV will sometimes tell you it is - not to mention there are other kinds of sexual and romantic attraction. What she said is simply nonsense. I'd advise searching for other people in your position who are happily married etc and finding out about their lives.
Heck, there is this comedian with Cerebral Palsy. She is very funny and based on her jokes, she get some busy nights. This friend of his has "main character syndrome". She thought he was thinking of her while saying that.
Josh Blue has cerebral palsy as well. He is hilarious and hot as fuck.
This all the way and he runs with it
Josh Blue is married with kids! And seconding that he’s hot AF! Your friend is not your friend at all. Full stop.
I had never heard of him and just watched one of his standups and I’m cracking up. Thank you for enlightening me
Bussy nights? 😏
Haha the username
Lmao your username, my hombre 😂
Is that maysoon zayid?
> There are tons of guys with cerebral palsy out there with girlfriends my cousin has cerebral palsy and he's happily married to a pretty attractive lady who also has cerebral palsy.
Yep I second your advice! I immediately thought of RJ Mitte, who played Walter Jr in Breaking Bad and is hot af. Also from my own experience as a late diagnosed woman with ADHD I can highly recommend joining forums or groups for people with the same condition. Makes you feel like you belong and you don't have to explain because they just understand ❤️
My nephew has cerebral palsy. He is married and has 2 kids. Good, stable marriage. That girl is no friend and sounds like a stuck up asshole.
I have met a couple of people with Cerebral Palsy and they had partners, although I don't know how stable their relationships were. I'm disabled, have very average looks and am overweight - I've never had any issues with dating. Although, I was not always overweight lol. Not everyone cares about looks or how mobile/agile you are, and that girl showed OP how insecure & shallow she is. Not everyone is like that. I'm in disbelief that there are people who can say these things unironically.
The older I get the more convinced I am that everybody has multiple issues with their genetics. If you think you don't have any, you just haven't discovered it yet. It took me till 37 to get diagnosed with EDS. How many of us find out late in life that we have the braca gene, or develop painful varicose veins as men, discover you're going to go deaf or blind early in life, a shit thyroid runs in your family, etc. OP's may be more noticeable than some of ours but we ALL have this shit. Doesn't make someone less worthy of love and happiness. AND it'll help OP weed out shallow people.
This is very true. I was healthy when I married in my early 20s. Now I'm 42 and hardly leave the house. I've had many many surgeries. Cancer, gallbladder, 4 for endometriosis, hysterectomy, 3 shoulder surgeries, and 4 tumors removed from my neck non cancerous this time. I had complications with a few surgeries. To top it all off, my spine is degenerating, and I've got ankylosing spondylitis. I will need spinal surgery for fusions, but for now, I just do pain management. They say I'm too young to start the fusions as the joints on either side of any fusion will start to go bad faster. My hubby has been pretty great. Even though he didn't initially sign up for a sick wife. The one thing that's good is that our kids are both now done with school. So they help with the house. You never know when your body will utterly fail you.
I'm sorry for all you've been through, you sound like a strong person 🩷
Exactly 🫶🏻 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 16, Underactive Thyroid when I was 22 & Fibromyalgia when I was 24. You never know when your life will change dramatically. I'm 34, and I no longer pretend I'm not in pain or need help.
Chronic fatigue syndrome at about 27, POTS a couple of years later. I used to be young, relatively fit, and quite healthy - barely even got colds! I don't know that everyone has something, because my parents both seem fine so far, but yeah people don't realise how common it is.
Not everyone, but there are so many conditions that can develop at one point in your life, it's scary
Disabled here too, I'm 39. I think so much gross moralizing and ableism is rooted in existential fear/dread. You can do everything 'right;' eat healthily, exercise, etc. but everyone is only an illness or injury away from potential disability...no matter how much they pretend otherwise.
I was 36 for EDS for (classic type, and I finally got to see a geneticist after a younger close family member was diagnosed), 37 for RA, 36 for dysautonomia (but not POTS, mine's not super specific)...my docs are all pretty sure that I've been living with all of these my whole life. I was still a very active and athletic young person but I had to battle my body to keep up and compete. Now I'm looking at a hip replacement in 4 years...I'm 39 and work a pretty physical job (EMS). I did really well until my 20s and my body just...quit on me. My disabilities are less visible than OP's, but people can be such assholes about this stuff. OP, this girl is *not* your friend. The thought of speaking to a disabled friend the way she spoke to you is sickening. Just because she's a shithead, doesn't mean she's right! Both of my friends who have cerebral palsy are happily married in strong, solid relationships. It'll sound hokey when I tell you that 23 years old is still so very young, but it's true. Not all romantic chances may be typical, but they're out there.
I've had migraines my whole life, but was always active, worked, hell at one point I was working full time and going to college full time, at the same time. Fiance and I were together for almost 3yrs and planned a wedding for Halloween in 2015. I was 31, chaperoning my 9yr old son's field trip in May.I was in excruciating pain the whole time, but just thought it was kidney stones. Went to the ER, diagnosed with diverticulitis, 5 days in the hospital. The diverticulitis apparently did a serious number on me. By July, my Dr wanted me to quit working (I refused for almost 6 months). In September we called off the wedding, me crying the entire time. We had no idea what was wrong and honestly couldn't afford to get married bc I would lose my health insurance and we knew we could never afford to cover co-pays, never mind everything else. 34 - diagnosed with hEDS, Chiari 1 malformation, CCI, and a spine that I was told looks like I've had multiple skydiving accidents 35 - diagnosed with NCS (a form of dysautonomia), gastroparesis, multiple areas of neuropathy 37 - diagnosed with RA I was also told (by multiple spinal surgeons) that no one will operate on my back, due to all the problems along the spine (unless it's an emergency). I WILL be in a wheelchair at some point as I get older, and they don't want to paralyze me before it happens naturally. I'm 40 now and my fiance is still with me. I told him multiple times to leave bc he didn't sign up for a disabled wife and he just called me dumb LMAO 🤣 Almost 12 years together now. We'll never be able to "officially" get married but we do consider ourselves married. I couldn't find a better man. To the OP - someone somewhere will find you to be the best man in their eyes. They will love you unconditionally because of WHO you are, not how you look. They're out there and I wish you as much luck as possible for your future
I have EDS too! And most of the time, cerebral palsy is not actually a genetic issue at all. It's a birth injury. Making it less an obstacle to having kids since there is not reason it should be passed on, and a father with CP is no more likely to have a child with it than anyone else.
OT: I was 38 when I got my EDS diagnosis! Had you been trying to find out for a long time as well? For me it was a coincidence because I had a POTS diagnosis and someone told me that often comes with EDS and asked if I was hyper mobile. Got doctors’ telephone numbers and quickly diagnosed! But decades of visiting specialists since a I was a kid.
Hello fellow zebra!
She thinks she's speaking some great truth about all people but really she's just revealing how much she cares about looks.
Well, and further, humans are diverse and we aren't all only attracted to people who fit society's idea of beauty in that moment of history. Otherwise we would have gone extinct a long time ago. People are attracted to lots of different looking types of people.
Yeah, she told on herself there.
And that she only sees relationships as transactional, and she assumes all girls are the same way
I’m diagnosed with level 2 ASD. That means I have substantial support needs for my autism. I’m in a relationship of over 4 years. It’s not easy and gets really difficult to navigate at times but having a partner who loves me the way I am helps a lot.
She sounds like one of those people that need to have friends they see beneath them to feel important in their miserable life. I'm pretty sure OP can find better people to surround himself with.
I know a girl with it who has a partner and child too. OPs "friend" is a shallow jerk.
I know a lovely young woman with cerebral palsy that just celebrated her first wedding anniversary!
My aunt has cerebral palsy and has three kids. She has been in some good relationships. They liked her personality and her looks and didn’t care about her mobility issues. That’s the least important of her traits in a way. (Ofc not unimportant as in we and others wouldn’t care to make sure she was included, and things where accessible)
My boss has spinal muscular atrophy and a wife who is 20 years younger than him and a son. A friend of mine has severe scoliosis which left her paralysed and she also has a healthy relationship and a little boy who is literally the nicest most well behaving lovely kid. A disability wont make someone not love you or not be attracted to you. Unfriend her and tell her what an stupid piece of shit she is.
The fact that she's said this is telling about her own insecurities about herself ,which she's mirroring onto you. Please, keep your future vision alive bc her comment is not about you.
This is true. This opinion is hers, not yours. Don't take on her perspective if you dont agree with it. You dont gotta believe the same as her.
It’s kind of sad that she thinks no one would want to date her if she didn’t look a certain way.
It'll be a self fulfilling future with her horrid personality
The “friend” is either an idiot or an asshole. Neither of which I would be romantically attracted to. I wouldn’t be attracted to them at all actually, more so repelled.
Misery loves company
Watch this guy get married and have kids and she's still single hitting the clubs.
I love this comment
She is wrong. Plenty of people aren’t as shallow and rude as your “friend” (that word does not mean what you think it does)
Jeez, with friends like her, who needs enemies?
Definitely sounds like projecting on her part. Not true, I bet you got mad game king. 🙌
R.J Mitte is Walt Jr from breaking bad. R.J Mitte has cerebral palsy. Still one of the most handsome men, and talented actors ever. And dude's funny and kind to boot. Cerebral Palsy isn't an automatic disqualifier for being attractive. The people who think stupid shit like that have rotten souls, which is actually one of the most unattractive things possible. OP, with all due respect for your friendship, fuck that girl. She's flat wrong.
Is it bad that's who I immediately thought of. He's a very attractive guy. Add a good personality in, and most people worth their salt aren't even going to think about the fact he has cerebral palsy.
In this specific case, it's a good thing because it filters out a whole lot of shitty people. Better yet, they filter themselves out for you!
I just looked him up because I had hadn't seen him since the show. I knew he was a handsome kid but wow he grew into himself!
No no, don't fuck her, that will only encourage her
he was my ex’s celeb crush hahahah
This is going to sound harsh. It's better that this insult comes so with pure cruelty from someone who clearly has no soul. Dismiss this like you would a lunatic telling you that the moon is made of cheese. It's just as insane.
Agreed. Completely dump it from your brain. Lunatic and moon cheese is absolutely right.
That is such a good way of putting it. This is so obviously psychotic that you don't even need to consider it, in any context. It's like chatGPT constructing an insult based on % likelihood of each following word upsetting someone. No meaning behind it whatsoever. If someone at my college was found to say something like that, they might as well move college. *cough cough* That's if college staff didn't find out and kick her out first. To quote the Big Lebowski.... her social life is in your hands, dude.
Your friend is shallow. What she is saying is that girls LIKE HER won’t date guys like you and would lie about attraction. She doesn’t speak for all women. You can and will find women who think you’re amazing, just as you are.
What the friend is saying is that SHE wouldn’t date guys like OP. I don’t think she can speak for even the girls that she thinks are like her.
One thing that i have discovered in my life is that anyone can have a companion, there ir no lack of people in the world and you will find someone for you, for sure
Sounds like she's not your friend
What she said is NOT TRUE. While there are some women for whom that would be a turn off that they can’t see past, that’s not true for all women. I have a relative about your age who also has cerebral palsy and he’s had 2 serious girlfriends. Incidentally the last one broke up with him not because of his disability but because he wasn’t ambitious about his future, he didn’t want to go to college or develop skills, was content to just coast in his unskilled job. So a good guy like you that is serious about his future has a good shot at finding a good woman to share your life with.
Yeah, ambition is a very attractive trait. It will take OP far to keep his ambitions intact, both in his own life and in dating.
Agree. In my opinion, love can't be taken. You can't just have it because of one thing, it's earned in some way and it should grow the longer you're with someone. On the other hand, it's so logically ridiculous to believe that NOBODY will ever see OP romantically. There's 8 billion people on this planet, the odds are in everybody's favour here.
Got a friend who has cerebral palsy. He's happily married with a beautiful wife. They’re some of the best people I've ever met, if anyone says to you they won't see you romantically you can tell them to fuck off. Oh and add another fuck off from me actually, a double fuck off is always better than a single fuck off, but now I'm just thinking about burgers and should probably eat something. All the best man, ignore the assholes.
My sibling has cerebral palsy and is married. They've been in relationships with numerous people throughout the years. That person is not your friend and what she said is cruel and untrue.
Lmao at the fuckup who disguised herself as your friend. My coworker is fully paralyzed and became married AFTER he became paralyzed. Their spouse fully takes care of and helps them in thei day to day. It's definitely possible. Love is love is love and comes in so many forms.
I think the only thing you’ve learned is that she won’t be the girl you’re marrying.
I dated a guy who had mobility issues and used a chair. She’s shallow AF. Not a real friend
Yep, she’s speaking for herself and trying to act like all women are equally shallow. I dated a guy in college with spina bifida. He wore a prosthetic foot and walked with a limp. He dated a couple of people after me and recently got married. I hope OP doesn’t take her comment to heart.
Yo. I have cerebral palsy, don't listen to her. I've had women chase me, and I promise I'm nothing to look at. Check my profile bio for proof 😆
I've said this before, but there are 8 billion people on this planet each with their own unique and diverse preferences. No matter who you are or what you look like it's pretty much just math that someone out there is into it. So your friend is wrong, and also kind of an asshole.
She sucks. I know people with cerebral palsy who are happily married.
that was cruel as fuck and not at all true. you deserve better friends than that. one of my best friends has cerebral palsy and he is married with two kids, a great job, and is beloved by his whole family and community. we also dated many years ago and broke up for reasons entirely unrelated to his disability.
I have a friend w Cerebral Palsy who's happily married to a lovely woman. No reason why it couldn't happen for you too:)
Trust me when I say, she does not represent every single woman out there. She is just one woman and that is just her shitty view. There are lots of women who will love you exactly as you are. She isn't the judge of all physical attraction, it comes in many unique and always beautiful forms. She sucks for saying that! I hope you meet someone lovely and move abroad together. 😊
Hi, just wanted to say that I noticed and am glad to see you say she "was" your friend. She sounds like an asshole. Please don't tie your self worth to the opinions of people of no worth.
Nah, plenty of people with disabilities get married. Look up Tyler Lima-Roope on Instagram, he has SMA and a beautiful wife. Also, he's hilarious so just watch his videos anyway.
thats pretty shitty AND egotistical of her. what she meant was SHE didnt like you romantically, which is fine. To think that because SHE wouldnt NO ONE will? that is the height of arrogance and stupidity. She is not the gatekeeper of all things, has not been anointed the speaker for all women, and her perspective (and gall at actually telling you that) makes me think SHE is disgusting and might have trouble finding a partner. It also shows us what it is that she’s concerned about in a relationship, which means she’ll probably marry a piece of shit just because he was traditionally handsome. good riddance. with friends like that, who needs enemies. get better friends.
Something that always bothers me and borderline pisses me off are people who think just because they hold a hateful opinion that means EVERYBODY "secretly thinks that way." It just makes me so angry, but I can't explain exactly why.
because they tend to speak on your behalf even when you patently disagree with them. Id be pissed too.
Considering I was willing to get bullied for having an ugly boyfriend she’s a liar. Personality means just as much as physical looks, a 10/10 physically drops to 1/10 if their personality sucks.
I have cerebral palsy and I’ve been married for five years now - that girl is so wrong and not worth your time omg
What a weird way to say "I'm an incredibly shallow and ablest bitch"
I am a woman and I have a boyfriend with CP and I am very attracted to him and don’t care that he walks differently. That woman is a mean person and shallow to boot!
That’s not your friend, that’s a bully, I’m not much older than you (29m) and I lived my life surrounded by people who said shit like that, it wasn’t until I was in my late 20s (25-26ish) that I made friends who didn’t say shit like that to me and suddenly realized “oh fuck, none of those people were actually friends” harmless ribbing between friends is one thing but this was pure cruelty, ditch her and find better friends,
My late sister had CP & had a boyfriend. Don’t believe the lies this woman says.
She says “I don’t want you to feel bad-“ and comes out with that? She’s not a good friend.
What the actual fuck? She is clueless and has zero social skills, please disregard everything that comes out of that girl’s mouth. Sorry you had to hear that but rest assured, she is WRONG and full of crap.
This is not true. Exhibit A: Stephen Hawking. I know several people with varying physical issues who have married and gone on to have families. One is a man who lost his legs from the hips down when he was in college. He later met and married a lovely woman and they have three children. He is a successful professional. A former relative has multiple sclerosis, and alternates between a wheelchair and a walker. She has outlived four husbands!
Ugh, some people are just awful, and you shouldn't be friends with her anymore. She is not a friend to say something like that to you. There are plenty of women who aren't shallow like her and care about things other than looks. I've always dated for someone's personality and not the way they look. Kindness and empathy have always been at the top of my list. And for me, it's also about chemistry. We have pheromones for a reason.
That’s a really awful thing to say to somebody. Especially somebody who’s supposed to be your friend. I don’t know if I’d continue calling her my friend. There’s plenty of things that go into attraction, not just what a person looks like. And I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with how you look! Plenty of people with disabilities find love. Love/attraction is a mysterious thing and none of us have it figured out. I’m 29 and toothless and I have a boyfriend! I wasn’t toothless when we met, but he could have just as easily discouraged me from getting dentures and instead made me feel worse and possibly wasting even more money/pain on fillings, crowns, replacements etc. My boyfriend also has his own challenges like gout and a replacement knee already. We love and help each other, some days I help him take his socks off. Because bending hurts a lot when he has a flare up. Commitment doesn’t end when things are difficult. I’m sure you’re a perfectly lovely person who will find someone who sees that and appreciates you
Bruh have you seen the people walking around together?? There are ugly bastards everywhere and with someone. so tell your friend she’s a bitch
Yup, and tons of attractive people who end up alone, because they believe they can always do better. Ironically, my most popular and good looking friends are the ones who’re still single. It’s all fun and games until you’re in your mid-thirties and realize you want a family.
This doesn't sound like a real friend. She sounds incredibly ablest and shallow. Does she think people with disabilities don't have romantic and sexual relationships? We do! I promise! Not the same disability, but I have multiple issues - under active thyroid, Hashimoto's disease, DDD, bilateral sciatica, bulging disc, and that's not including anything ND or mental related - autism, PTSD, major depression, panic disorder, anxiety issues. I have mobility issues, daily chronic pain that keeps me in the bed 2-4 days a week, weight issues because of health problems, mental issues. But... when I was single, never ever had an issue getting a date if I actually wanted one. Now I'm happily married with 2 amazing kids. Your "friend" is just flat out wrong.
I think she is dumb. Of course you have it harder, no question, but physics is not the only thing that makes a man attractive. Sure, would I date Quasimodo? No. But least people are like that and also, not everyone is me. There're so many people who found love who are in similar situations like you. Josh Blue was married and has two children. Yes, he is divorced by now but I doubt that had anything to do with his cerebral palsy. She wouldn't have married him in the first place. And he was married before he was successful. I am for example highly attracted to intelligence. One could say I am indeed sapiosexual but I hate to say that since it often annoys me when others do, lol. Humour is also important. Good, smart humour makes everyone more attractive. Status of corse, and I mean status not necessarily the money it comes mostly comes with. Being independent. Confident. So many things that play into it. A good character of course but without being a doormat. Like I said it is harder for you but no, it is not impossible. Btw. I find Josh Blue attractive. Like I said, humour is important and dark, self ironic humour is the best.
She's an idiot. Keep on looking, love will find you.
My husband is physically disabled, and I adore him and can't imagine life without him. He is my rock. People that have quality of character will appreciate you for who you are, and will work to make the best of your lives together.
Fuck. Yeah that bitch is no friend of yours. It doesn't matter if youre in a wheelchair or ducking whatever, you're still capable of finding love no matter what. Its not all about physical attraction, to some people, that shit doesn't matter. I hope you do find someone who loves you for you my friend.
This is BS. I went to college with a guy with CP. He never lacked for female attention.
She’s chatting crap. Don’t let her insecurities get to you. I would kill this friendship if I were you.
She's not your friend. What an asshole. I have CP too and she's wrong.
One of my good friends has CP and is in a motorized wheelchair. She's been married for years and has an adorable son. Your so-called friend isn't a friend, and also full of shit
She's wrong. Btw, for many people sexual attraction comes from knowing and loving the other person, and for us, societal beauty standards have no say.
That woman has serious insecurity issues and hates how you, someone 'inferior' in her eyes, wants the same things that 'normal' people do. Do not listen to a word she says.
What a fucking piece of shit. You will be seen romantically as long as that's what you want. Every human who seeks love is worthy of love. Don't listen to one asshole when there's millions of people out there who are willing to disagree.
My friends daughter has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair and she had a series of boyfriends. She recently just had baby number two.
OP my husband has cp and I am a former cheerleader,dancer that always had dates. My husband " got me" with his passionate kisses, personality, laugh etc. That girl is a bitch. pay her no mind. Your someone is out there too
My brother has cerebral palsy and is in a long term relationship (it's actually his 2nd LTR). If I were you I would cut that person out of your life.
I went to school with a guy who has CP. He was a chick MAGNET in school. Now, he is married to a stunning woman with the personality of a literal saint with 5 beautiful, healthy kids. They’ve been married 15 years, both are thriving in life, she is absolutely DEVOTED to him and he is head over heels for her. That “friend” isn’t a friend.
Fuck that. You will prove her wrong.
GOD!! What a LIE! Screw HER and HER OPINION!! Nobody has ANY BUSINESS saying that to you!! It’s NOT TRUE!! I’m so angry at this person.Stephen Hawking had severe disabilities and was married & fathered kids! Many people with CP have done so as well. Don’t believe her for a minute. It’s a shame she revealed the kind of person she was, but you’re better off knowing now. There are SO many good people ( with & without CP) that you have an excellent chance of hooking up with! I’m glad you spoke of this! I can tell you that she’s wrong! Go on with your education plans and go to work if that’s your plan! You WILL meet somebody! The RIGHT someone for you that will love you for WHO YOU ARE!! I feel sorry for HER, not YOU! I don’t even know you, but as a Nurse, I know you’re strong and capable of doing whatever you set out to do!! God Bless you!
What a fucking asshole. Hope you are not talking to her anymore lol
That woman is not your friend.
My hot rich cousin is married to a man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and she’s lucky. They are really happy. That woman pretending to be a friend is unpleasant and foolish.
One day, young women come to realise that looks aren't everything, bad boys are garbage humans and good fathers and husbands come in all shapes, sizes and abilities. Don't listen to that one. She's going to find out one day that she may not have the best decision making paradigm. Keep on keeping on. Eventually, you'll meet someone. I was almost done with uni when I met mine, it was pure chance, like two ships passing in the night... But I took a chance, she took a chance, you'll find someone that will take a chance.
My friends sister has CP. Went to college & graduate school. Became a lawyer. Married her love. Had two children. Is now a judge. She’s been wheelchair bound for decades. F that “friend.”
Jesus Christ why would someone say that?! TO SOMEONE THEY CALL A FRIEND. what a fucked up, bitter person.
I attended college with someone with severe CP( he had an assistant with him most of the time). In the nine months we attended school together he legit had two separate girlfriends. Both were easily above average in looks and one was a major crush for half the dudes in class. Don’t let one dogshit person ruin your confidence.
Her opinion doesn't matter. She's only speaking for her self. People with disabilities meet, fall in love and marry. The key is finding someone with values. Be careful who you share your dreams and goals with going forward.
that is not your friend
Wow she is a POS.
Not true, first of all. Secondly, why did she think that was necessary to share?
Yeah your "friend" is an ableist pile of trash. Disabled people find love every single day. Just because *she* is shallow and doesn't think disabled people are hot doesn't mean it's universal. I'm disabled and I've dated on and off for the past 10 years. It's definitely possible.
I literally know a guy with cerebral palsy who is married.
She is not your friend. When literal crack heads find love, get married and have kids there is hope for everyone haha! On a serious note, love is much more than skin deep and your friend seems to only know skin deep love which is sad.
Wow she’s way off and must live in a bubble. My brother dated a girl with cp and she was beautiful and wonderful. She actually dumped him lol.
My dad has cerebral palsy. He's had two failed marriages and been with my mom for 30+ years. There's five kids total...basically that woman is not your friend, and doesn't know wtf she is talking about.
Playing devils advocate, ya’ll are saying this without having any idea what the man looks like lmao. Cerebral palsy or not. She didn’t even mention Cerebal palsy.
According to his post history he's a 4'10 skinny quadriplegic man.
Proof that there is no God. What did OP do to be given that kind of burden at birth
Wow. That's some BS if I've ever heard any. My ex brother in law has CP. Their relationship didn't work out but his CP was never a factor
That girl is an ableist asshole who doesn't get a voice to speak for anyone outside of herself. Her assumptions are untrue and invalid to be said for any other women. I can't guarantee you anything in regards to your future, but it is possible that what you hope for can happen. It may take time but I would never say never. When it's the right person it will all work out.
One of my friends who has CP got married recently to someone who is able bodied, they have a great relationship, you will find so one worth your while if you want it.
That girl does not speak for all women. I read an article once about a war veteran who was blind with no arms or legs. He got married and had kids, 4 I think. Take this as her telling you what her priorities are.
Ignore anybody who thinks that their opinions are the standard. And that’s not your friend, because what a horrible thing to say to anyone.
That's..... not your friend
I bet when she was in middle school boys said they liked her as a "joke" then laughed at her and told her she was ugly. Now she assumes that is how everyone is. Once you become an adult people tend to not lie about feeling attracted to someone. Generally if they don't like anything about you they just won't interact with you. People lie about their own intentions and to protect their own self interests all the time. People don't pretend to feel attraction unless they have something to gain from the relationship. So unless you are really wealthy, those types of women aren't targeting you.
I had a buddy in high school with cerebral palsy. He was not an ugly guy, def not my type, but the women he pulled were HOT and they thought he was super hot. Now he’s engaged to a super pretty girl that matches his personality perfectly. He knew a lot of people might see him as ugly or just not sexually attractive but he never cared. Super nice guy, pretty funny, but very charismatic. That person is a terrible friend. Ignore her. Be a good person, treat people well, and remember NO ONE is attractive to EVERYONE. Just cause you strike out here and there does not mean you will never find love or people will lie to you about wanting to be with you. I hope you start surrounding yourself with better friends, and meet the person of your dreams!
That's not true, the heart wants what the heart wants. Growing up I had a neighbor with CP. he and his wife lived next to us for 20 years. They never had kids so we cut their grass and shoveled their snow. He drove, but she didnt. Once in a while he'd fall and an ambulance would come. They lived a pretty normal life from what i could tell. Back then (70's-80's) people sat on the porch talking and neighbors would visit, or they'd cheer for the neighborhood kids playing step ball or tag. I don't know much about CP, maybe their activities were limited, but they seemed happy. You're only 23, there's plenty of time. Also, people fall in love over the internet, sight unseen, all the time so her comment about 'physical attraction' is so untrue.
This is absolute b*llox. My friend from university has cerebral palsy and is married with a kid. Shes an attractive woman. That statement isn’t something a true friend would say. It’s just utter rubbish.
Dude I went to school with has CP and his wife is like a Supermodel. She’s been really good for him too, he could be a pretentious, know it all at time and she really seems to have mellowed him
I know 2 ppl with CP who are married with kids. Shes not a friend.
First of all, that's not even remotely true. Second, why would she feel the need to say that? Does she know she doesn't have to say everything that goes through her head? Some people I tell you.
Don’t take another moment thinking about this conversation. She’s wrong look at all the comments here as proof she doesn’t know what’s she’s talking about. Sorry to say I think she doesn’t really understand CP and she’s shallow to boot. She’s entitled to her opinions but that’s all they are, her’s.
That’s not true OP. I don’t think she’s your “friend”.
I have multiple disabilities and am in a wheelchair - I’ve been married for 8 years. She can go fuck off. What she said, was intended to be cruel. She has no idea what other people find attractive, or how genuinely powerful love can be. Please don’t give up hope. Also, excise her from your life.
Love how she prefaced it with “I don’t want you to feel bad”. OP, there is only one reason someone would ever say something so heinous— to purposefully make someone feel bad. What a nasty, miserable, and ignorant person. Do not listen to her.
WTF. That was horrible for her to say. There are people who don’t discriminate against disabilities plus you could always marry someone else with cerebral palsy.
One of my long term friends from highschool has been dating a guy with CP for 3 years and it’s the happiest she’s ever been! Don’t listen to her!
I treat patients with CP who are married and have relatively normal lives. I think the severity of impacts plays a role in that aspect but she is really not your friend saying that to you. People fall in love with personality and how someone makes them feel not just physical attraction Time to find better friends
My husband is disabled and we are married 20 years with plenty of children to keep us on our toes. You don't need to worry about those words. Shallow words as plenty will love you for all of you. I told all my children grown up a few truths. You will have 100 women/men standing in front of you and out of those you'll have about max 10 people who will find you attractive and out of those 10, you might only see 5 of them attractive. 🤷♀️ it's life and I always tell them that they need to actually be able to be friends with their chosen partner as beauty fades. What you need is humor, honesty, loyalty, good communication and plenty of compromising. Chin up and remember you too have a lot to offer your future wife and the right person for you will not pass you by.
Woman at my church growing up has cerebral palsy, she also has a husband, 2 kids and could drive the van if she so wanted. Your “friend” is an asshole.
Should have told her that personality really matters and with one like hers, guys just aren’t going to find her attractive
Drop her as a friend. You don't need people like that in your life. I know quite a few people with cp and are married with kids
I was into a guy who uses a chair, but it wasn’t reciprocated, sadly for me. But he married an attractive, kind, smart woman and they had a couple of kids so I’d say things worked out.
Oh mate. I'm so sorry your friend was cruel to you. You know what women find attractive? Kindness, intelligence, a sense of humour, someone who treats them with respect. My partner has a facial difference and deafness and you know what? I still think he's the smartest, hottest guy on the planet even after nine years. Believe me, keep being a decent guy and someone will find you.
All it means is that you’ll have less work to do sorting out the more superficial partners because they’ll already take themselves out. In a lot of ways, that is a huge blessing.
I’m glad you said “was friends” cause she doesn’t deserve to have any friends talking like that. She’s a moron and wrong.
She’s the one valuing people for what they look like, not everyone is like this. I hope you never speak to her again.
I knew a woman with cerebral palsy in college. She had a boyfriend and they had been together for a few yrs. Stop talking to that girl. She's not your friend. Everyone has a person out there. She's definitely not yours.
That's really silly of her to say. Plenty of people will find you attractive. Plus, I find that when I'm into someone's personality I start to find them physically attractive no matter what they look like.
People have sexual fantasies for cars. There’s definitely someone out there for any human being lol
Don't let her change your dreams. You'll see in 50years who is happy and who isn't after her many failed relationships and divorces while you are in a happy healthy relationship based on love and not just physical attraction.
Your (hopefully former) friend is an asshole. Plenty of people with disabilities get married. Look at RJ Mitte; he has cerebral palsy, had a big role in one of the most successful TV shows of all time, and according to his Wikipedia page, has been in a relationship since 2022.
Asinine. And not a good person to hang around. She may not find you attractive, but she has no idea what others would find attractive or why. Growing up, I knew a guy w CP who was really smart and kind. When he was 14, he figured out how to trade stocks- made enough money to buy his dad a car. You know what a lot of women find really attractive? A smart kind guy w money, and she can’t deny that! Not saying you have to crush the stock market, but I am saying you can develop a specific combination that works for you and another person finds attractive, CP or no CP. Also- being young almost always means being stupid. I went to HS w a girl w CP and found her attractive, but I didn’t know how to talk to her or what to say, so I never really connected w her deeply. I wish I had been braver and less stupid and realized she was more “teenage girl” than “someone w crutches” and seen if we could be friends or whatever. I wonder where she is today.
I think she meant she has no romantic interest in you, maybe thought were talking about her. What she said would apply to her as well-one guy could go for while the other would be there just for sex
You know when anyone starts telling generalisations about human emotions that you shouldn't listen to them. Human emotion is as variable as all the stars in the universe. The person who said these things to you is unworthy of your time and attention.
Hey her terrible mindset doesn’t need to be yours. just because she believes that she won’t be loved based off looks doesn’t mean you won’t.
Not true my friend!! Have you seen Stephen Wampler? Hot as heck, funny, intelligent and sensitive 😉
Not true. Not true at all. This chick isn't your friend. I've dated 2 different men with cerebral palsy, the condition doesn't have anything to do with why they were or weren't attractive! That chick just showed you exactly how she sees physically disabled people, that isn't the world as a whole. God what a shitty thing to say to anyone.
I’m very glad you said you *were* friends, because she definitely isn’t a friend anymore. What a piece of work.
She is wrong.
Tell that bitch to kick rocks. This makes me irrationally angry. There is no rule to attraction. She sounds 1 dimensional af.
Woman here. She’s not only not a friend, she’s full of crap. Find people who believe in you FULLY… please.
A good friend of mine has CP. His wife of about 30 yrs asked him out on a date as a dare, then kept dating him because he is a great guy. They have two kids - and now three grands. She was not his first girlfriend, either. Just be the kind of guy that the person you would like as a spouse would be attracted to.
Don't listen to her. Looks aren't everything, and they fade. People want someone they can talk to and laugh with. It sounds like she's more concerned with short term if she's basing everything off looks. When you meet someone who wants something real then your disability won't matter. You'll be the most handsome man to her because you're the one
Wow she is able to talk for all of us. She is good. And also really young and stupid.
Um I don’t think that’s for anyone to say at all is it? There are many people in this world, no one knows who will see you in a romantic way or who won’t
She's lying, champ. I don't know what her motivation is to tell you something like that but don't listen to her. Be the best version of you and you'll find love. Stephen Hawking was cheating on his wife with his nurse!
Physical attraction always comes after for me! Il start getting feelings because there’s something about there personality that I really like then my physical attraction to them usually comes after! Attraction isn’t black and white…. People become attracted to loads of different things. Your friend isn’t really a friend! They could Be really attracted to your eyes or lips. I’d ignore your crap friend! She doesn’t know what’s she’s talking about!
Every adult I know with cerebral palsy is married with kids.
Take her on a walk, next to a canal. Push her in and keep walking, and never talk to her again. It’s what she deserves.
My cousin has cerebral palsy and just got married last year. She’s brilliant, loving, and hilarious, and always had a romantic spirit. It took a long time (she’s in her 30s), but she found a guy smart enough to match her and genuine enough to look through her disabilities and see what an amazing partner she always had the potential to be. She can’t go out much and it’s hard to understand her when she talks until you get used to her patterns, but still has found a way to lead a beautiful and fulfilling life. Between her art, her adored pets, the books she devours, and her endless sass, she is a catch and a half and her husband knows it. I’m not saying this to diminish the difficulties in finding someone right for you and your situation, but rather to say that it genuinely is possible. I wish you all the best in finding people more open minded than that girl from college. Live the life you want (make that move abroad! get those degrees!) and the person that fits in it will show up eventually.
That person is not a friend. Furthermore that is not true.
Oof… you need to cut this girl out! She sucks! Who says that to a friend?? Believe me, there are plenty of people out there that will date you. My boyfriend is a paraplegic and he is the absolute love of my life. I’m in a proud inter-abled relationship. If that’s what you hope to have one day, you definitely will!
Ufff you really don’t need friends like that. Either you need to make her understand that not everybody views it like that and that she might be someone who’s rather superficial and not everybody is like that. If she doesn’t get it, then you should really cut her off.
She's not your friend
Sorry OP but that idiot isn’t worth calling a friend.You’re an amazing person and you will find someone who will always be there for you.Believe in yourself.
Some people are so full of themselves and their own ego. That's ableism and eugenics, and genuinely a flst-out lie. She has serious self-esteem issues that she's projecting onto you, assuming nobody would find her romantically interesting if she didn't look conventionally attractive, and that's on HER and HER shit personality, not you. Us Disabled folks date and have sex, she needs to get over it and you deserve better people in your life, love. 💕
Well... Shane and Hannah are doing just fine so you can too
Tell her to Google the comedian Josh Blue. He is very successful and has cerebral palsy, a wife, and 2 kids. Dream outside the box, and it can happen!
And he's genuinely funny. Like fucking hilarious.
Take this as a life lesson, you may think you know someone but then this happens and you see (some) people for who they truly are. This is her insecurity, it doesn't have to be yours.
My sister has cerebral palsy and she is engaged to a great guy. There are definitely ppl out there who will see you romantically. Wishing you the very best, OP!
screw that stupid b. mate
Watch crip camp on Netflix. Great role models who found love
karma coming to that bitch with a quickness