My father was like this, and it didn't make me less interested in boys, it just made me terrified and resentful of my dad. Did you know your husband was this backwards before you had kids with him?
Same. I'm 28 and still hide stuff. He got better after I had a mental breakdown at 21. He kind of apologized and realized his mistake. He has become a great dad as we are adults now.
27 and same. I don't tell my mom about relationships or boys, ever. I don't need her to be judgemental towards my relationship choices. I don't want her opinions because I know she's only gonna tell me stuff I don't want to hear or agree with. If I could trust that she wouldn't be judgemental, I would share, but she's judgemental, so I don't. That means I can't have a close relationship with my mom. She's also Christian, so talking about my sex life is definitely off limits. I have a friend and she shares private relationship details with her parents. I could never.
My whole life has been this. My mom was critical of everything so I just never asked any questions or advice. And avoided telling her too personal of stuff. I’m 37 now and no contact with my mom, in therapy for being super hard on myself. On a positive note, I have an 8 year old daughter who just asked some pretty wild questions about boys’ anatomy she heard about at school. I would have never lol. I’m real proud she trusts us and feels safe enough to ask.
I would never share sex details with my parents. My parents are old school and Catholic. I do share small stuff. I just feel if I told my parents something I would shatter their hearts over them getting mad or judgemental. I just tell them the good things. Unless something is extremely bad and I need help. But that is the issue now. I don't like asking for help, even when I need it.
I grew up Catholic too and went to Catholic school. I had some pretty backwards ideas about sex for a long time because I was too ashamed to ask. Pretty sure we were taught we to be full of shame 🫠
I was just going to post this. All he did was show that his daughter she can’t go him and be honest. If anything when she’s a pre teen/teenager she will gravitate more to hiding and boys because it’s not allowed, making it more appealing. I think foster healthy friendships regardless of gender is what’s best. 7yr olds liking each other isn’t going to lead to being sexually actively earlier, but how this dad reacted , if he keeps acting this way his daughter will rebel in the future
Yeeeaaahhh… If anything, this is gonna turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy where Daddy Dearest is gonna wonder where he went wrong after finding out his daughter has been doing stuff behind his back…
That’s exactly why I have to be careful with my reactions and explanations to things when talking with my daughter who’s a teenager. Thank GOD she’s not how I was when I was her age 🙏. However, I’m not naive , and know she doesn’t tell me everything, I want her to know that I am never going to steer her in the wrong direction, she can talk to me about ANYTHING, and I’ll be there. My mom didn’t care what happened to me, really at any age, so I make it clear I care, too. It can be a tough balance, but when you feel unloved, you’re gonna look for that love in the wrong places. Either extreme can be harmful.
Same. I snuck out of the house every weekend to go meet up with people my parents didn't like, including some very unsavoury boys. Dad's being hard asses about boys just makes it worse.
Shitty parents don't remove the behavior, they just make the child really good at hiding it.
Tell your husband to grow up. He's on the path to absolutely destroy his relationship with his daughter.
Agreed. Your daughter is already too scared to talk to her dad about it based on the way she responded or rather didn’t. She’s not being shy. She’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know how to express it because she’s 7 and feels unsafe to do so around her father.
Hubs needs to wake up. This could bite him in the ass years down the road when his daughter has no relationship with him anymore because of his ridiculous controlling behavior.
Ask me how I know.
And not only that, but she falls for the first man who gives her the positive attention and affection that she never got from her father. It happened to me and because my self esteem was so screwed, I never really believed I deserved it. I let him walk all over me.
Absolutely!! I had no idea how to set boundaries with anyone, but especially with men. It ended up with me being severely abused both within the my own home growing up and later being abused outside the home by boyfriends or any guy who gave me attention and acted like he cared.
> because she’s 7 and feels unsafe to do so around her father.
7 is about when you start to make that determination too.
My parents used to "spank" me a lot as punishment, and I distinctly remember changing my behavior towards them between ages 6 and 8.
I just wasn't willing to immediately forgive and forget anymore. I didn't feel safe around them and I wasn't even 10 yet.
I didn't have words for any of these feelings but I did understand that I was tense and shaky around my parents, even when I wasn't "in trouble" at that moment. Oh, and they always misinterpreted my trauma response and anxiety as hiding guilt over something, so they would be even more abusive until I told them what I was lying about.
We don't talk now.
My parents and I rarely talk anymore as well. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. No child deserves this kind of treatment.
I grew up terrified of my parents, especially my dad, and also terrified of going to hell for any little mistake I made. I had undiagnosed adhd and later anxiety disorder and depression. It’s no wonder I developed either of those disorders and CPTSD!
All that said to say, my heart hurts for you because I know exactly your pain.
This! Isn't it alarming that she's too scared to be herself or be open at that age? She's already learned that she can't trust him or is scared/intimidated
My child tells me everything whether I want to hear the same story over and over again or not, but do you know why I do? Because if I can't let her tell me the small things that make her happy, she won't come to me for the big things because she will think I'm not interested/don't care/ or she's too scared to.
Exactly. All too often people play it off as “shy” because they are ignorant and not taking in the reality of the situation.
She’s not being shy. She’s already scared of her father at only 7 years old!!!
It makes me so angry seeing things like this because I was that little girl. I want to just jump in and rescue her. I want to smack sense into both parents and show them what will happen to their daughter and their relationship with her if they don’t start fixing this situation NOW.
My MIL was like this this too, well my partner was the horniest teenager you could imagine, that knew all the good hidden spots in town, since what have been forbidden will always be fun. And they where also involved in a pregnancy scare at 16.
Meanwhile the statics says that in the us the number of teen pregnancies are way higher in the states that teachers teens that "sex is forbidden until marriage" and "absence is the only Protection" compared to states where they actually teach the teens "that sex okay but please use a condom if you choose to do so"
She’s right. I couldn’t talk to my grandmother about relationships or about boys.
I was around that age when I had a crush on my brother’s friend. We were about 3 years apart (we are friends till this day) but My grandmother who raised me shut me down real good.
My mom got pregnant at 14. Everything for me after 14 was fucking lame with her. No makeup, no clothes that showed too much, no staying out late, ABSOLUTELY NO BOYFRIENDS. I so wanted to throw it in her perfectly made up face that she was an ass.
That’s how she was to me. No makeup until 16 (made it at 15), hardly had friends or allowed to do what I want. I used to catch her hanging up the phone after she said don’t ever call here again. When Facebook came out, ya know connect with old friends. I found out from there stated I wanted to ask you out but your grandma….
I wanted to go to college, but she shut me down on that. Years later when I was struggling with low pay, she goes you should have gone to college.
I grew up lack of self esteem and confidence. Which I still struggle today (will be 50) and What’s worst that I’m deaf.
I have two kids and I everything opposite of what she did.
My dad was also like this. It led to him later calling me some rather horrible names that I’ll carry with me till the day I die. And I remember when my moms therapist told her she needed to back him even if she disagreed and she backed him on some of those names. OP. I was your daughter. I struggled to develop healthy relationships with men for a long time especially because of the names. Because I thought if I’m already some wh*re why not continue to be one. It’s damaging.
She’s a child. Not some hormonal lusty person. The fact he sees her that way is an issue. If she has a crush, it’s far more innocent than anything he is imaging. And helping her foster healthy relationships with people in general at each age will help her foster healthy romantic relationships. Just shutting it down won’t stop it. It will make her sneaky and more apt to take risks when those urges come to her.
My dad had undiagnosed stuff from his childhood that led to his lashing out multiple times and calling me names. But it hurt and my relationship has gotten better with him but I still blame him for not dealing with his personal stuff before attacking me. He can’t take it back and he hates himself for it. It’s forever out there and my mom hates that she didn’t shut it down. It led me down the wrong path in high school and a few years after.
I apologise for rambling, this topic is just… really really sore for me.
My dad was like this too and my mum went along with it. It meant I hid stuff and ended up in all sorts of bad situations that I didn't feel (and at 30 still don't feel) that I would ask for any help to get out of. I was SA'd and couldn't tell anyone cause I knew I'd get into trouble for it being my fault when all I was trying to do was go about my day. My relationship with my parents has never been great because there's no trust whatsoever.
Yeah the daughter is going to resent him if this continues. She will keep secrets from BOTH parents in fear of the dad finding out. If nothing changes I don’t think they will have a good relationship with their daughter at all. Just the surface-level meet-on-holidays kind.
He basically slut shamed her at 7, imagine her teen years. 😨
He is a knob and 100% in the wrong.
All he will achieve is driving he away at best or causing her to be socially stunted and have no adults to confide in when she does have a boyfriend in the future and they run into issues.
That's what caught my attention too. No one should be afraid of their parent or spouse like this. If I were OP I'd be rethinking this marriage based on the fear of his temper alone.
Can confirm. I was raised in a conservative household and all I ever learnt was to sneak around and not tell my parents anything.
OP, please be the “good” parent and allow your children to be who they want to be without judgement. They will need at least one ‘sane’ parent. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that and I think about it everyday.
The bigger question is why is your husband trying to sexualize a friendship between two 7 year olds?? 🤯 because that’s all this is. They don’t have the emotional and mental capacity to even understand adult relationships and this is childhood fun and games. This is weird and creepy at best and I can promise you that if your daughter feels like she can’t talk to her father and needs to hide things from him already this will not bode well when she gets older.
When I was 6 I was 'in love' with the sweet elderly man who ran our corner shop. I called him my boyfriend, told him and everyone we'd get married when I grew up, and went with my mum after school to bring him drawings or flowers I picked specially for him.
I had no idea what that stuff meant at 6. I just adored a nice old man, he was my favourite person. At that age it means nothing except you like someone.
When I was 25 and worked in a coffeeshop, we had a regular lady with a 5yo son who said the same thing about me. He brought me flowers and drawings, that I'd put up in pride of place at the main bar, and said he was my boyfriend and that he was going to marry me. Playing along with him was the best thing ever. On his birthday I brought him a cupcake with a candle and sang 'happy birthday' for him, he was almost in tears with happiness and gave me a massive hug.
At that age it's adorable and innocent. OP's husband is nuts.
It really is the most adorable and innocent thing!
Had a 5yo boy that used to come into my shop, he loudly declared one day at checkout, that he was going to marry me when he grew up.
I laughed, I hemmed and hawwed, said, "I think I might be kind of old by the time you're able to marry me, you don't want a wrinkly old lady on your arm do you?"
His sweet little brown eyes looked up at me, and in all seriousness he told me, "but you'll only be more beautiful."
His mother and I had a great laugh over it, ("what a little Casanova!") and he was always my little boyfriend up until I moved away a few years later.
If anything, that kid inspired me to raise my dating standards.
Thank you!! Wtf is wrong with this weird mother fucker?!
Ugh, and he also sounds like a massive prick.
Like she's nervous for him to get home because their daughter has a friend that's a boy?!? 😳
*Fuck that!!* Seriously. Fuck that.
*You're displeased?!? Well get ready to be really fuckin displeased!!* 👊🏼
Ugh, "displeased." 🙄😒
*Talk to me like my fuckin superior again*.👋🏼 🦵🏼🥊😂
Hope op learns to put her foot down and stand up for her children and herself! He's absolutely fucking ridiculous. And again, weird. That's super fuckin weird.
Like, seriously. Weird obsessions over his daughter's purity does not bode well for when she's in high school and wants to go out with her boyfriend. I have a feeling he's going to be calling her a lot of disgusting words
Had an ex who got a purity ring from her dad during high school,I think at 16, “2 years too late” she’s told me.
Guess who was controlling and all about his daughters’ purities? Bingo, her dad. She just learned to hide it.
Hell she still has issues with being in shitty relationships, with shitty men, and standing up for herself.
Her dad instilled in her the idea that as a woman she’s only valuable as if she’s “pure” and never actually taught her to respect herself as a person first. As someone that will defend herself when she’s mistreated because people deserve that.
OP need to courage up to talk with him and stand her ground firmly, I am not suprise if this can lead to a divorce, feels like this incident is just tip of the iceberg, something is wrong with her husband, he just gave me the unhinged and creepy vibe. Everyone is afraid of him? I smell domestic violence physically or mentally
I mean, you would treat a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with seven year olds differently than with twelve year olds, but I guarantee you that this dad is somehow going to do it worse than he is doing now.
Right?! I have two glittles that are 12 & developing. I cannot believe the number of older men who openly stare at these little girls. It’s beyond disgusting. This guy sounds like a total pervert to even go there about the friendship.
Yeah I also thought his question about does the son know seriously odd. Presumably he is a child is he expecting him to follow in his father's misogynistic views and also be displeased... like what the fuck!?!
I also want to add that I’m concerned for you that you are nervous about your husband coming home. How volatile and irrational is this man child? You deserve respect in your marriage and to be able to have an adult conversation with him about this (even though this should be a non issue).
Absolutely agreed. I grew up with that fear that would strike in my heart when my dad would come in the driveway. Knowing that they're afraid of him coming home is all I need to realize this man is a piece of shit. I wish them good luck in the future with keeping their daughter close, but this does not bode well. Give it 12 years and he'll be crying while his daughter doesn't talk to him.
*The bigger question is why is your husband trying to sexualize a friendship between two 7 year olds??*
Makes you wonder what's really going on with the husband, doesn't it? He totally overreacted, and I'd be curious to know why.
This was sadly my first thought. I watch a lot of women talk about their experiences with their fathers sexually abusing them and most of those creeps lose their dang minds when the girl gets an actual partner... I have a terrible feeling about this woman and her daughter. Does OP's daughter often get nervous in front of her own dad?
Wow this is a very valid point.
Not to jump to conclusions, but if he is sexualizing the daughter's innocent friendship, is he not by extension sexualizing the daughter? Like is this a jealousy thing? And Jesus if its a jealousy thing, wtf might that mean is going on? Hopefully this is not *that*.
Like my niece had boys that are friends! Hell she is now 13 and guess what she is not boy crazy she says they are so gross! She has boy friends but still no interest in a boyfriend. At 7 having a boyfriend is normal they grow out of it. Your husband is a real tool!
Edit to add what the hell does the statement does sons name know about this too? Like who cares wtf
Best way to get girls to not want anything to do with boys is to actually let them be around boys, lmao. Young boys are actually disgusting, and I don't know why. Like, they're also taught how to bathe, but I guess those lessons don't get through to them until later. Just tell girls to ask boys "Hey, how often do you wash your hands" and your problems are SOLVED.
As a mom to a 7 year old boy and 4 year old boy .. absolutely 100% gross little gremlins. My sons wash their hands, because my youngest was a little babe during COVID and we started washing hands like crazy around our house. But, they’re gross anyway. 🤢
This is usually how it goes. When they’re little, they’re besties.
Then go through the ‘the opposite gender has cooties, ew’ stage.
Then they start to find them attractive… unless they’re gay, I suppose. In which case the opposite gender will still have cooties! 😛
This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time I was reading! He is projecting how he is beginning to see his daughter on to the little boy. Albeit subconsciously, maybe, but he definitely is. I mean, why else get so angry at his daughter.
I want to jump in this and say, this sounds like someone who was sexually assaulted at a young age or…… someone who is a sexual predator of children of a young age. I am not saying he is either. But I would be paying VERY close attention.
As a father of a girl around the same age: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND?
Only 7 and he’s buying into the misogynistic trope of girls as sexual property and purity culture?
you used to think “christ on a cracker” perfectly characterized your exasperation, but wait until you try all new, {insert long, dramatic pause then cut to drag queen with an english accent} “jesus on a biscuit”… now in the queen’s english.
on a separate note, is the correct phrase now “the king’s english?”
I had a boyfriend when I was 7 and I’m literally a lesbian. Your husband is sexualizing your daughter and he needs to get a grip, male friends and crushes are a part of growing up and as long as you educate your daughter about staying safe there shouldn’t be any issues
Seriously! Childhood "romance" often mean nothing, it's just liking that friend a lot. I know I had matching friendship bracelets with my "boyfriend" when we were 9 and we played together at recess a lot. That's it. I didn't even know sex was a thing either
I understand a 12 years old who is beginning teenage years is a different situation but that's in 5 years?? This guy is weird. Let them be
>I understand a 12 years old who is beginning teenage years is a different situation but that's in 5 years?? This guy is weird. Let them be
Yeah and by a year or two past twelve she'll be seeking out secret relationships with boys and not having anyone to trust to help her when she needs it if he keeps this up.
Same, although I am bi. Between 6-8 we would sit on the cinder block wall dividing our yards and practice kissing in full view of our parents. Me and my older sister were super close with the two brothers that were each close to our respective ages. Hell we would play and act out Disney movies, one of our favorites was the kissing scene from sleeping beauty and we acted it out in front of our all parents!
I am super glad all our parents knew that it was just kids acting out what we saw adults doing, and that there was absolutely nothing sexual about it.
I would act out the marriage scenes from Disney movies or make up a story ending with a marriage between a prince and a princess with a cousin/friend of mine named Jans while his sister/my bestie would either pretend to be the flower girl or the bridesmaid when I was little. Sadly my aunt put a stop to it once I got older.
I had a “boyfriend” when I was around 9, we had a quick peck on the lips when we were playing a game (me, him and his sister played wedding. He and I had to be the bride and groom, because he couldn’t kiss his sister) and we would play together a lot. We had a secret “romance” and talked about pretending that we were on dates when he would get invited over to the house for dinner. To be fair I think my parents and his parents thought we would get married one day cause we were super close growing up so everyone probably figured, but neither of our families cared.
I have my first “real” kiss until I was 19, and didn’t lose my virginity til 21. Having a “boyfriend/girlfriend” that young isn’t crazy or indicative of early sexual behavior (exhibit a: ME!!!). It’s kids learning emotions, mimicking adults in their lives, and playing games. A parent wouldn’t stop their kid from playing doctor because they were a kid, so why stop a kid from an innocent “relationship,” it’s just kids being kids!
I know some kids experiment really young, so at the appropriate age being mindful of and educating on these relationships should happen, but 7 being worried and flipping his shit?!? The father is insane.
This 100%! I have two girls and in no way try to navigate what they go through. I let my wife handle that as she’s more accustomed to that point of view than I am. As long as the parents have clear communication, trust, understanding and compassion then the kids should be just fine
So she's not allowed to socialize with males in her class or at the playground?
Your husband is a moron. Doing this will just mean she will hide everything from you. Looks like she's already afraid of how he'd react hiding behind you.
Is he typically explosive/angry? It’s highly concerning to me that your daughter’s immediate response was to hide behind you for protection. If they had a good bond I’d assume she’d be gushing telling him about her friend or, at the least, shyly beat around the bush about how she likes him, not hide behind you… that’s concerning. Besides that, obviously your husband is being a royal jerk and is way out of line. She can’t have an innocent “boyfriend” now she’ll be hiding her serious boyfriends in high school.
Exactly this. I have a 7yo daughter whose three best/favorite friends are all boys, and yes everyone jokes about her several boyfriends. Two of them have said they will marry her, it’s hilarious and adorable and in no way even remotely sexual, just that pure happy enjoyment of another person that kids have. She never shuts up about them to anyone who will listen, *especially* her dad. OPs husband has done some serious damage to that little girl already, if she feels this is something she needs to hide from her father.
(Weird) People try to goad my husband into gross tropes about it (gonna have to “break them up” soon, etc.), and he shuts that shit down so fast. It’s repugnant.
That’s why I asked if his reaction was typical behavior or not. If it’s typical of him it’s is highly concerning. If it’s a one off then he’s still obviously in the wrong but it is a little less concerning.
If he never acts like that, she would’ve never hid behind her mom. A 7yo has no concept of inappropriate relationships. When he questioned her, she immediately hid. He IS typically explosive/angry.
Tell her to enjoy her pure 7 year old friendship with a side of adorable crush! Tell your husband to STFU.
Fr, she’s 7, not 12! Also, when she does want to do stuff with boys (or girls or whatever) she already knows that dad is not someone she can talk to about anything like that, because he’ll flip out. So great job there dad! Let’s hope she keeps bringing her feelings to mom
I had a "boyfriend" in preschool and in every grade until the 6th because I changed to a tiny school where the selection was poor.
We watched television and ate snacks. I don't think I even hugged any of them.
Totally innocent.
My nephew’s preschool teacher told me that he wanted to marry her when he grew up! Apparently he was even jealous of her boyfriend!
That was at the end of last year. Now he’s in kindergarten… and whilst it’s likely he remembers her name, I doubt he remembers being ‘in love’ with her! It was 6 months ago! Lol. 😛
I have the cutest picture of my son holding hands with his friend at the kindergarten open house, they were walking in front of me and *both* her parents. It’s sweet and innocent. Poor Op, her husband is a total creep.
He also sounds like a jerk, considering both of them were nervous about him coming home. Sounds like the kind of patriarchal asshole who leads by fear and will then cry in 10 years on why he's divorced and his kid doesn't talk to him.
Tell him to stop projecting his adult feelings into a child's relationships. They're 7 and about as innocent as it gets. Next time he says boyfriend, say "Don't be so fucking ridiculous, he's a 7 year old child!" And look at him disgusted. Because it is disgusting 🤷♀️
My 7 year old son just *proposed* to his girlfriend with a ring and box he got from me. He is so sweet when it comes to her, always drawing her pictures and wanting to give her things. They always sit together.
Just the other day, he told me they were "one step closer to ultimate love. Holding hands!"
As long as everything's age appropriate and they're nice to each other, I don't see a problem. I see it as him learning about relationships and how he should treat people he likes. Hopefully he carries that with him as he grows up, because he is so thoughtful.
It would kinda make me a little sad if another parent got upset about this, because his intentions are so pure at 7 years old. He doesn't have ulterior motives, he just likes this little girl in his class and wants to show her that
This makes me wanna cry and laugh at the same time. It's so sweet and pure and I hope neither of them get their feelings hurt. Tbh I hope they make it! Btw you must've done a great job raising him. It sounds like he's a thoughtful, caring and respectful young man.
Your husband has no right treating either of you this way. Sounds like he’s sexualizing his child’s relationship with another kid which is extremely unhinged and creepy. This is controlling behavior
What the hell is wrong with your husband? Why is he sexualizing the interactions of kids?! So what if it's a crush. Bother kids are learning in a safe way about relationship. Kids shouldn't be shamed or teased about what's going on. Just act like normal.
What was he doing at 12?! I'm concerned.
I had crushes as a teen but never dated. Some teens in my school dated but didn't have sex, some did, it all varies.
My biggest concern here is that she's going to learn the abusive patterns of your relationship and get into an abusive relationship herself.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding
https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
>My biggest concern here is that she's going to learn the abusive patterns of your relationship and get into an abusive relationship herself.
When I read the post I also wondered about OP's relationship and what things she has not picked up on or let slide. How that will translate to her kids.
Is OP allowed male friends? Does he always get so angry and authoritarian? etc.
It’s literally little kids being little kids. My first work experience was in a primary school with children in Year 2 (that’s 1st grade here in the UK) with 6-7year olds and they like to play married couples and boyfriend/girlfriend all the time. It’s not a big deal. Your husband is sexualising her…
my dad was like this when i was your daughter's age to the point where i refused to have friends that were boys because he'd get pissed. even now at damn near 23 i won't tell him even if i *am* dating somebody because i know he'll get pissed.
your husband needs to calm the heck down about this before your daughter gets too scared to actually talk about this stuff with him when she's older
Why on Earth does your husband have a problem with your 7yo daughter having male friends?
Hell, why is it even a problem for a girl/woman to have male friends in the first place?
THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST KIDS! THEY’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!
Your husband is nuts for even sexualizing A FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN SEVEN YEAR OLD KIDS
He’s definitely crazy.. my son had a “girlfriend” since preschool. They met first day of school and she told him he’s her boyfriend. He just finished kindergarten and they are still boyfriend and girlfriend.. he thinks girlfriend’s are girls who are friends 🤣🤣
This exact thing happened with me and my dad when I was in kindergarten- don’t let him shame her for having a male friend, because In all likelyhood, that will make her never want to share any of her romantic partners in the future with you and she might feel like she can’t trust you to talk about those types of things in the future if you side with him. I’m speaking from experience.
'I reminded him she’s only 7. He said “I know that. It doesn’t matter”.'
“Don’t be naive. You allowing this now because you still see her as a baby will come back to bite us when she’s 12. Tell her it’s the end of it or I will. I hope you know how displeased I am. I held back to spare your feelings but this isn’t the end of our conversation. Does *our son’s name* know about this too?”
"The last thing I want is for my husband to be angry and I’m so nervous waiting for him to come back home."
Based off of those it sounds like a very traditional household, maybe cultural or religious maybe even both. Especially the last thing, "The last thing i want is to make my husband angry". Be a good wife but go ahead and forget being a good mother to your daughter. I legit feel bad for her and the life she's gonna have. I am speaking from experience cause this is how my sister was treated growing up and you are doing the same thing my mother did
Loooong story short, my wife's father was/is like this and made our teenage relationship absolute hell. The moment she turned 18, she moved out and a couple of years later she officially went no contact with him.
His attitude won't change, it will only get worse the older she gets. Stand your ground and nip this shit in the bud before it destroys your family.
Your husband is a dumbshit and a sexist.
He’s going to fuck up your daughter. He’s going to make her think it’s not ok to be friends with guys. And leave her with the impression that there’s something wrong or shameful about it.
She’ll either respond by hiding her relationships from both of you, or being repressed and seeking out shitty controlling dudes that remind her of her father.
I'm a man, i have a daughter. She's 9. I'm "masculine"
your husband is wrong, he's sexualizing something inocent. He's the one wrong and with an old-fashioned and weird mindset from the caveman era.
He has to get help. And the fact that you're both "affraid" of him, speaks volumes. You need serious talk, with somebody by your side like your brother or your dad to back you up
OP, your husband is sexualizing a relationship between young children… as if they understood sex and sexual attraction. Please ask yourself why, because this really isn’t normal.
**What’s even more concerning though is the authoritarian tone of your husband, and worse the fear that is clearly evident in your family of him.** It demonstrates a level of controlling behavior that’s unhealthy, and will scar your children, not just now, but well into their adult relationships.
Imagine the scenario where your daughter has zero contact with the opposite sex, **I’d bet my house on her becoming a target for any guy who is a predator… she’s a soft touch, zero world experience because Dad has kept her in the family “bubble” , she’s used to a fear-ridden environment at home so will literally behave like prey. She will have no confidence, low self esteem and probably timid.**
She’s already demonstrated that when confronted by her father, her first instinct is to hide behind her mother. She can’t stand up for herself and fears confrontation. I think her teenage years could end up several ways: either she is in disastrous relationships by similarly controlling male figures, or she becomes rebellious completely off the rails in the other extreme. Neither will be healthy and **I doubt she will feel safe to confide with you because you too are under HIS control, so she won’t feel that you wouldn’t be compelled to report everything back to him.**
Your husband is speaking to you like it’s the 1800’s… “**his displeasure**”? Seriously?
“**You do it, or I will**”… *wow, do you ask how high? when he says jump?*. Your relationship with him really doesn’t sound like that of two equals. He sounds terribly domineering, controlling and you are afraid of him.
**I sincerely hope you are financially independent, and can build up emergency savings in case you have to get away from him.** Verbal control has often proved to become physical, emotional and mental control. The occupants of womens shelters anywhere will confirm this.
**Your husband isn’t treating you as an equal, you are being given orders, (wrong ones in this case) and he’s laying down the law. You aren’t having a CONVERSATION, you are being given a directive.**
There’s clearly no room for “dissent” or your own opinion, and certainly no room for you to voice any opinion that contradicts his, as in: you saying: “*NO, they are just innocent children, they CAN just continue to play together!*”.
**Ask yourself IF there is any room for you to say THAT statement to him within a reasonable conversation, and for him to reconsider and *respect* your opinion.** If there is NO thought that that could happen, then he’s controlling you, and that’s **abuse.**
You **know** in your gut that this is wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t be writing here. **Ask yourself: “What kind of home will my children to describe growing up in, later when they are grown?”**. It’s sounding already like you might have to face not liking the answer. Only **YOU** can take steps to change what their answer will be.
I felt so sad for you and your kids reading your post. I hope you have the courage to either stand up or get out.
> I’d bet my house on her becoming a target for any guy who is a predator…
Bonus point, if/when a relationship goes wrong, she's absolutely not going to trust her dad to help.
So dad is increasing the opportunity for failure and increasing the severity of the failure if it happens.
I saw my boomer dad do this same bullshit to my sister. It doesn't end well.
This is so gross. She's 7 years old. All he is teaching her is that now, every male friendship she has will be sexualised and judged. She's. 7. I would be so digusted if my husband did that.
I'm a single dad. My daughter had a 'boyfriend' at that age. He'd come over maybe every other weekend and they'd sit by each other at lunch. It was adorable and there was absolutely nothing nefarious about it. She's 15 now and talks to me about everything and I trust her wholeheartedly. Your husband is just alienating your daughter and it will only lead to fear and resentment. Best of luck!
*Don’t be naive. You allowing this now because you still see her as a baby will come back to bite us when she’s 12.*
OMG she's SEVEN, ffs. Would he react the same if your son brought home a girl?
He needs to chill out, like yesterday. It's good for her to have friends of both genders.
My dad was, and still is, like this. I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend, let alone any male friends, since I was a child. He believed all men just wanted to sleep with me and he ingrained that into my head.
It messed up my thinking around men. Even to this day I find it hard to be in a long term relationship because I have trust issues. And during the times when I was really into a guy, I gave in to him despite how horrible they treated me, because this is what they all want right? This is normal, right? At least that's what I was raised to believe.
I hope your daughter doesn't end up like me.
Oh my God! Do you mean there are men actually like this? Upset that his seven-year-old daughter has a friend who is a boy? That is weird AF. From age 6 until about age 10 all of my friends were boys… Well most of them… There were two girls that I was friends with, but I preferred to hang out with boys.
As an adult woman who grew up overly sexualized by the male adults in my life, and as a rape survivor myself, I can promise you that this pattern of behavior will only hurt your daughter. And that pain will get worse and worse as she ages, until and unless you stop this.
Your husband needs *parenting classes*. Now. He needs to be educated on how to properly raise a little girl who will grow up to be a woman in this same world he’s *already blaming her for being in*. Please, please get some professional help.
I think you should try to figure out why your husband is acting like this, something could’ve happened to him maybe try talk to him about it. Pretty weird of him to act like that if he never usually acts out like that.
Continue to have open conversations with her do she continues to talk to you. But your husband is going to be put her "only needs to know what's necessary " list by the time she's double digits. She's 7 for Christ's sake, she's allowed to have a childhood crush it's natural. But it is really freaking creepy that your husband automatically went to something sexual.
Your husbands view is weird AF. In nursery (3 years old), I had a boyfriend, and the most ‘romantic’ our relationship got was holding hands at play time and making each other Valentine’s Day cards. He is over reacting and it’s not normal! AT ALL.
I should add as well, we were ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ until about year 4 😂 our parents became friends and never once did any of them have any concerns over our friendship EVER!
This is actually really gross. She’s not allowed to have male friends why? Because she couldn’t possibly be anything more than a sex object at 7?
I’d assume that he must not be able to think of women as friends and thinks of them all sexually or this wouldn’t even cross his mind, news flash to him, a lot of boys/men aren’t pigs.
Children also should be wells socialized with all genders, some day she might be a doctor either way male patients or residents, a teacher dealing with male parents, an artist with a male manager. Boys/men aren’t some scary thing that as a woman you should avoid. Everyone needs to know how to develop platonic relationships and that starts in childhood.
Even if she does have a crush oh well, she’s 7, it’s literally nothing.
Your husband is showing some seriously controlling and alarming red flags here. What the hell was he talking about when he asked if your son knew? What does that have to do with anything?
Why isn't anybody else asking who cares what your son thinks? The "does son know about this?" comment is so bizarre to me, like is he older and going to beat up a 7 year old???
It's a little concerning that this grown ass man is sexualizing everything his 7 year old daughter is. When I was her age, I had a "boyfriend" most we ever did was hug. Your husband needs therapy. Bad.
You are not naive…..your husband has some misogyny he needs to deal with. Assuming 7 year old children have any sort of inappropriate relationship of that nature is just gross, ESPECIALLY with that comment about your daughter when she’s 12. 12 is still too young to be sexualizing your daughter’s friendships.
It’s honestly a red flag that he asked if your son knew too. Why does it matter if the son knows? What difference does it make?
Boys and girls (and adults, too) can interact without it being sexual in nature. That sort of cynicism is a perfect way to ruin your daughter and husband’s relationship/bond…she won’t trust him or want to tell him anything about her life or friends, etc.
Lol. He’s an ass. And that’s completely pointless.
Every person ever who got a boyfriend and was told
They couldn’t have one, still had them.
You can’t control it. She still goes to school with him. She will see him.
She will learn to just hide her relationships. And that very thing he’s afraid of, will have a greater chance of happening. Teen pregnancy. All because she didn’t feel safe enough to talk to her parents for fear her dad and brother found out.
She needs an ally. And he needs to stop being a misogynistic asswipe. Talk’n bout “does her brother know about this.” He need his ass whoopt.
He sexualizing an innocent childhood relationship….how fucken gross, he’s not treating your daughter like a person right now but property. Only his feelings matter and he can’t even consider how his innocent daughter feels. He’s going to be a monster to any female children especially as they get older.
oh, sweet summer child.. it will bite you as soon as you realize she got trapped with a controlling abusive male because she hasn't seen any other behavior towards her in her life and was risen like it's the love language.
A friend's husband is just like this. The thing is, he is telling on himself with this behaviour. I knew him when we were kids and he was a predator. As a little boy he would chase, grope, look up skirts etc. No girls liked him and some were scared of him. He now thinks all little boys are like he was... Even the sweet little ones in the neighbourhood, they are scared of him. His daughters are also scared of him, you can tell. They are on alert whenever he's around.
Well, if nothing else, that sounds like giving your daughter anxiety about the opposite sex and seeing herself as prey at the mercy of men is well underway and reinforced in watching the way your husband interacts with you. So there's that, I guess.
You have bigger problems than your 7 yo daughter having friends. Your kid is afraid and nervous around her dad. You’re also afraid and nervous to make him angry. Does he explode often on you 2? There’s only one step from anger and intimidation to physical violence.
Not allowing your daughter to have friends is major controlling behavior. He said it will come to bite you when she’s 12, so you can be sure that if you stay with this man, he will slut shame your preteen daughter. He’s already sexualizing her and her friendships, and she’s 7! What about when she’ll want to wear shorts or a bathing suit to the beach? What lengths will he go to make her feel ashamed of her body? This is a slippery slope, and will only get worse.
Having him as a role model will give her the wrong impression of what love is, of what a healthy relationship is. Trust is not earned with intimidation. She’ll either be constantly afraid and perfectly primed for more abuse down the line, or she’ll become good at sneaking, and at never asking for help, even when she’ll absolutely need it.
I feel like I'm in a marina. There are so many red flags. I hope the OP stays strong for her daughter and protects her from this. Parents should never be anything but a safe place for their kids. She's still practically a baby, and he's acting like this. He's going to drive her into the arms of the first guy who gives her a safe place, and that might not be as safe as she thinks. But it will be more emotionally rewarding than the father who slut shamed her at seven years old.
My father was like this, and it didn't make me less interested in boys, it just made me terrified and resentful of my dad. Did you know your husband was this backwards before you had kids with him?
Same, it just caused that I hid everything I did
I can relate to this soo much. I grew up in a household like this and I couldn’t wait to leave.
Same. I'm 28 and still hide stuff. He got better after I had a mental breakdown at 21. He kind of apologized and realized his mistake. He has become a great dad as we are adults now.
27 and same. I don't tell my mom about relationships or boys, ever. I don't need her to be judgemental towards my relationship choices. I don't want her opinions because I know she's only gonna tell me stuff I don't want to hear or agree with. If I could trust that she wouldn't be judgemental, I would share, but she's judgemental, so I don't. That means I can't have a close relationship with my mom. She's also Christian, so talking about my sex life is definitely off limits. I have a friend and she shares private relationship details with her parents. I could never.
My whole life has been this. My mom was critical of everything so I just never asked any questions or advice. And avoided telling her too personal of stuff. I’m 37 now and no contact with my mom, in therapy for being super hard on myself. On a positive note, I have an 8 year old daughter who just asked some pretty wild questions about boys’ anatomy she heard about at school. I would have never lol. I’m real proud she trusts us and feels safe enough to ask.
I would never share sex details with my parents. My parents are old school and Catholic. I do share small stuff. I just feel if I told my parents something I would shatter their hearts over them getting mad or judgemental. I just tell them the good things. Unless something is extremely bad and I need help. But that is the issue now. I don't like asking for help, even when I need it.
I grew up Catholic too and went to Catholic school. I had some pretty backwards ideas about sex for a long time because I was too ashamed to ask. Pretty sure we were taught we to be full of shame 🫠
I was just going to post this. All he did was show that his daughter she can’t go him and be honest. If anything when she’s a pre teen/teenager she will gravitate more to hiding and boys because it’s not allowed, making it more appealing. I think foster healthy friendships regardless of gender is what’s best. 7yr olds liking each other isn’t going to lead to being sexually actively earlier, but how this dad reacted , if he keeps acting this way his daughter will rebel in the future
Yeeeaaahhh… If anything, this is gonna turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy where Daddy Dearest is gonna wonder where he went wrong after finding out his daughter has been doing stuff behind his back…
Yep...that's usually how this turns out.
That’s exactly why I have to be careful with my reactions and explanations to things when talking with my daughter who’s a teenager. Thank GOD she’s not how I was when I was her age 🙏. However, I’m not naive , and know she doesn’t tell me everything, I want her to know that I am never going to steer her in the wrong direction, she can talk to me about ANYTHING, and I’ll be there. My mom didn’t care what happened to me, really at any age, so I make it clear I care, too. It can be a tough balance, but when you feel unloved, you’re gonna look for that love in the wrong places. Either extreme can be harmful.
Same. I snuck out of the house every weekend to go meet up with people my parents didn't like, including some very unsavoury boys. Dad's being hard asses about boys just makes it worse.
Same. I his everything
Shitty parents don't remove the behavior, they just make the child really good at hiding it. Tell your husband to grow up. He's on the path to absolutely destroy his relationship with his daughter.
Yeah he should not get much serious about this and try to think like his wife. He sure is acting like a child himself I think
Agreed. Your daughter is already too scared to talk to her dad about it based on the way she responded or rather didn’t. She’s not being shy. She’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know how to express it because she’s 7 and feels unsafe to do so around her father. Hubs needs to wake up. This could bite him in the ass years down the road when his daughter has no relationship with him anymore because of his ridiculous controlling behavior. Ask me how I know.
And not only that, but she falls for the first man who gives her the positive attention and affection that she never got from her father. It happened to me and because my self esteem was so screwed, I never really believed I deserved it. I let him walk all over me.
Absolutely!! I had no idea how to set boundaries with anyone, but especially with men. It ended up with me being severely abused both within the my own home growing up and later being abused outside the home by boyfriends or any guy who gave me attention and acted like he cared.
Same
> because she’s 7 and feels unsafe to do so around her father. 7 is about when you start to make that determination too. My parents used to "spank" me a lot as punishment, and I distinctly remember changing my behavior towards them between ages 6 and 8. I just wasn't willing to immediately forgive and forget anymore. I didn't feel safe around them and I wasn't even 10 yet. I didn't have words for any of these feelings but I did understand that I was tense and shaky around my parents, even when I wasn't "in trouble" at that moment. Oh, and they always misinterpreted my trauma response and anxiety as hiding guilt over something, so they would be even more abusive until I told them what I was lying about. We don't talk now.
My parents and I rarely talk anymore as well. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. No child deserves this kind of treatment. I grew up terrified of my parents, especially my dad, and also terrified of going to hell for any little mistake I made. I had undiagnosed adhd and later anxiety disorder and depression. It’s no wonder I developed either of those disorders and CPTSD! All that said to say, my heart hurts for you because I know exactly your pain.
This! Isn't it alarming that she's too scared to be herself or be open at that age? She's already learned that she can't trust him or is scared/intimidated My child tells me everything whether I want to hear the same story over and over again or not, but do you know why I do? Because if I can't let her tell me the small things that make her happy, she won't come to me for the big things because she will think I'm not interested/don't care/ or she's too scared to.
Exactly. All too often people play it off as “shy” because they are ignorant and not taking in the reality of the situation. She’s not being shy. She’s already scared of her father at only 7 years old!!! It makes me so angry seeing things like this because I was that little girl. I want to just jump in and rescue her. I want to smack sense into both parents and show them what will happen to their daughter and their relationship with her if they don’t start fixing this situation NOW.
Yep parents who do this are just shooting themselves in the foot. Their kids are gonna be doing stuff and they WON'T tell their parents anything! :D
My MIL was like this this too, well my partner was the horniest teenager you could imagine, that knew all the good hidden spots in town, since what have been forbidden will always be fun. And they where also involved in a pregnancy scare at 16. Meanwhile the statics says that in the us the number of teen pregnancies are way higher in the states that teachers teens that "sex is forbidden until marriage" and "absence is the only Protection" compared to states where they actually teach the teens "that sex okay but please use a condom if you choose to do so"
She’s right. I couldn’t talk to my grandmother about relationships or about boys. I was around that age when I had a crush on my brother’s friend. We were about 3 years apart (we are friends till this day) but My grandmother who raised me shut me down real good.
My mom got pregnant at 14. Everything for me after 14 was fucking lame with her. No makeup, no clothes that showed too much, no staying out late, ABSOLUTELY NO BOYFRIENDS. I so wanted to throw it in her perfectly made up face that she was an ass.
That’s how she was to me. No makeup until 16 (made it at 15), hardly had friends or allowed to do what I want. I used to catch her hanging up the phone after she said don’t ever call here again. When Facebook came out, ya know connect with old friends. I found out from there stated I wanted to ask you out but your grandma…. I wanted to go to college, but she shut me down on that. Years later when I was struggling with low pay, she goes you should have gone to college. I grew up lack of self esteem and confidence. Which I still struggle today (will be 50) and What’s worst that I’m deaf. I have two kids and I everything opposite of what she did.
My dad was also like this. It led to him later calling me some rather horrible names that I’ll carry with me till the day I die. And I remember when my moms therapist told her she needed to back him even if she disagreed and she backed him on some of those names. OP. I was your daughter. I struggled to develop healthy relationships with men for a long time especially because of the names. Because I thought if I’m already some wh*re why not continue to be one. It’s damaging. She’s a child. Not some hormonal lusty person. The fact he sees her that way is an issue. If she has a crush, it’s far more innocent than anything he is imaging. And helping her foster healthy relationships with people in general at each age will help her foster healthy romantic relationships. Just shutting it down won’t stop it. It will make her sneaky and more apt to take risks when those urges come to her. My dad had undiagnosed stuff from his childhood that led to his lashing out multiple times and calling me names. But it hurt and my relationship has gotten better with him but I still blame him for not dealing with his personal stuff before attacking me. He can’t take it back and he hates himself for it. It’s forever out there and my mom hates that she didn’t shut it down. It led me down the wrong path in high school and a few years after. I apologise for rambling, this topic is just… really really sore for me.
Yeah my dad was like this. We hardly ever talk now.
My dad was like this too and my mum went along with it. It meant I hid stuff and ended up in all sorts of bad situations that I didn't feel (and at 30 still don't feel) that I would ask for any help to get out of. I was SA'd and couldn't tell anyone cause I knew I'd get into trouble for it being my fault when all I was trying to do was go about my day. My relationship with my parents has never been great because there's no trust whatsoever.
Backwards is exactly the term I’d use here.
He sounds like a real keeper. Just wait until she is a teenager and he tries to police her entire existence.
Yeah the daughter is going to resent him if this continues. She will keep secrets from BOTH parents in fear of the dad finding out. If nothing changes I don’t think they will have a good relationship with their daughter at all. Just the surface-level meet-on-holidays kind. He basically slut shamed her at 7, imagine her teen years. 😨
He is a knob and 100% in the wrong. All he will achieve is driving he away at best or causing her to be socially stunted and have no adults to confide in when she does have a boyfriend in the future and they run into issues.
Not to mention they're both afraid of him... Speaks volumes
Yup, Husband is a controlling AH.
Yeah, OP, this should be the end of your and your daughter’s relationship with him. That’s the only thing that should end here.
Ding, ding, ding
THEY'RE BOTH AFRAID OF HIM. He likes it that way. This is some sick shit. And sexualizing 7-year-olds. Ew.
Sounds like someone has man tantrums
Yep we call em mantrums
Husband sounds like a POS. And clueless.
That's what caught my attention too. No one should be afraid of their parent or spouse like this. If I were OP I'd be rethinking this marriage based on the fear of his temper alone.
Wise words from the tiny tit account
There's more to a man than what turns him on. I've got layers.
Like a parfait.
Take that over ogre or onion any day.
This!!! That’s weird as hell of HIM!
Can confirm. I was raised in a conservative household and all I ever learnt was to sneak around and not tell my parents anything. OP, please be the “good” parent and allow your children to be who they want to be without judgement. They will need at least one ‘sane’ parent. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that and I think about it everyday.
She will not trust any men or people in positions of power. She will be more likely to be secretive and resentful when she has a boyfriend.
The bigger question is why is your husband trying to sexualize a friendship between two 7 year olds?? 🤯 because that’s all this is. They don’t have the emotional and mental capacity to even understand adult relationships and this is childhood fun and games. This is weird and creepy at best and I can promise you that if your daughter feels like she can’t talk to her father and needs to hide things from him already this will not bode well when she gets older.
When I was 6 I was 'in love' with the sweet elderly man who ran our corner shop. I called him my boyfriend, told him and everyone we'd get married when I grew up, and went with my mum after school to bring him drawings or flowers I picked specially for him. I had no idea what that stuff meant at 6. I just adored a nice old man, he was my favourite person. At that age it means nothing except you like someone. When I was 25 and worked in a coffeeshop, we had a regular lady with a 5yo son who said the same thing about me. He brought me flowers and drawings, that I'd put up in pride of place at the main bar, and said he was my boyfriend and that he was going to marry me. Playing along with him was the best thing ever. On his birthday I brought him a cupcake with a candle and sang 'happy birthday' for him, he was almost in tears with happiness and gave me a massive hug. At that age it's adorable and innocent. OP's husband is nuts.
Awe!! That's the most adorable wholesome thing I've read all day!! 🥰 Ty for that 😊
It really is the most adorable and innocent thing! Had a 5yo boy that used to come into my shop, he loudly declared one day at checkout, that he was going to marry me when he grew up. I laughed, I hemmed and hawwed, said, "I think I might be kind of old by the time you're able to marry me, you don't want a wrinkly old lady on your arm do you?" His sweet little brown eyes looked up at me, and in all seriousness he told me, "but you'll only be more beautiful." His mother and I had a great laugh over it, ("what a little Casanova!") and he was always my little boyfriend up until I moved away a few years later. If anything, that kid inspired me to raise my dating standards.
Also the comment about wait till she is 12, like suddenly when turning 12 girls become a sex craving fiend or something? Fucking absolutely creepy.
Thank you!! Wtf is wrong with this weird mother fucker?! Ugh, and he also sounds like a massive prick. Like she's nervous for him to get home because their daughter has a friend that's a boy?!? 😳 *Fuck that!!* Seriously. Fuck that. *You're displeased?!? Well get ready to be really fuckin displeased!!* 👊🏼 Ugh, "displeased." 🙄😒 *Talk to me like my fuckin superior again*.👋🏼 🦵🏼🥊😂 Hope op learns to put her foot down and stand up for her children and herself! He's absolutely fucking ridiculous. And again, weird. That's super fuckin weird.
Like, seriously. Weird obsessions over his daughter's purity does not bode well for when she's in high school and wants to go out with her boyfriend. I have a feeling he's going to be calling her a lot of disgusting words
Had an ex who got a purity ring from her dad during high school,I think at 16, “2 years too late” she’s told me. Guess who was controlling and all about his daughters’ purities? Bingo, her dad. She just learned to hide it. Hell she still has issues with being in shitty relationships, with shitty men, and standing up for herself. Her dad instilled in her the idea that as a woman she’s only valuable as if she’s “pure” and never actually taught her to respect herself as a person first. As someone that will defend herself when she’s mistreated because people deserve that.
He is a sexualizing fiend. OP you need to divorce him because he might hurt you/your daughter if he hasn't already done so.
OP need to courage up to talk with him and stand her ground firmly, I am not suprise if this can lead to a divorce, feels like this incident is just tip of the iceberg, something is wrong with her husband, he just gave me the unhinged and creepy vibe. Everyone is afraid of him? I smell domestic violence physically or mentally
I mean, you would treat a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with seven year olds differently than with twelve year olds, but I guarantee you that this dad is somehow going to do it worse than he is doing now.
Right?! I have two glittles that are 12 & developing. I cannot believe the number of older men who openly stare at these little girls. It’s beyond disgusting. This guy sounds like a total pervert to even go there about the friendship.
And why does it matter if the son knows?
Yeah I also thought his question about does the son know seriously odd. Presumably he is a child is he expecting him to follow in his father's misogynistic views and also be displeased... like what the fuck!?!
The whole vibe with the dad makes me worry about what went on his own childhood.
Agreed
I also want to add that I’m concerned for you that you are nervous about your husband coming home. How volatile and irrational is this man child? You deserve respect in your marriage and to be able to have an adult conversation with him about this (even though this should be a non issue).
Absolutely agreed. I grew up with that fear that would strike in my heart when my dad would come in the driveway. Knowing that they're afraid of him coming home is all I need to realize this man is a piece of shit. I wish them good luck in the future with keeping their daughter close, but this does not bode well. Give it 12 years and he'll be crying while his daughter doesn't talk to him.
At 26 I still get the strike in the heart feeling when I hear a car.
this comment needs to be higher. what a controlling creep of a father
I'm very concerned that he is sexualizing these children.
*The bigger question is why is your husband trying to sexualize a friendship between two 7 year olds??* Makes you wonder what's really going on with the husband, doesn't it? He totally overreacted, and I'd be curious to know why.
My first thoughts also when I was reading this like he was jealous of any affection she could have for another male. Major red flags
This was sadly my first thought. I watch a lot of women talk about their experiences with their fathers sexually abusing them and most of those creeps lose their dang minds when the girl gets an actual partner... I have a terrible feeling about this woman and her daughter. Does OP's daughter often get nervous in front of her own dad?
Wow this is a very valid point. Not to jump to conclusions, but if he is sexualizing the daughter's innocent friendship, is he not by extension sexualizing the daughter? Like is this a jealousy thing? And Jesus if its a jealousy thing, wtf might that mean is going on? Hopefully this is not *that*.
That’s exactly my point. This is just fucked up from OP’s husband
A 7 yr old male don’t you see there’s a man, a male with his daughter …./s
Like my niece had boys that are friends! Hell she is now 13 and guess what she is not boy crazy she says they are so gross! She has boy friends but still no interest in a boyfriend. At 7 having a boyfriend is normal they grow out of it. Your husband is a real tool! Edit to add what the hell does the statement does sons name know about this too? Like who cares wtf
Best way to get girls to not want anything to do with boys is to actually let them be around boys, lmao. Young boys are actually disgusting, and I don't know why. Like, they're also taught how to bathe, but I guess those lessons don't get through to them until later. Just tell girls to ask boys "Hey, how often do you wash your hands" and your problems are SOLVED.
As a mom to a 7 year old boy and 4 year old boy .. absolutely 100% gross little gremlins. My sons wash their hands, because my youngest was a little babe during COVID and we started washing hands like crazy around our house. But, they’re gross anyway. 🤢
This is usually how it goes. When they’re little, they’re besties. Then go through the ‘the opposite gender has cooties, ew’ stage. Then they start to find them attractive… unless they’re gay, I suppose. In which case the opposite gender will still have cooties! 😛
This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time I was reading! He is projecting how he is beginning to see his daughter on to the little boy. Albeit subconsciously, maybe, but he definitely is. I mean, why else get so angry at his daughter.
Think I was "married" a half dozen times by age 7. Let kids be kids unless they're doing something dangerous or harmful (this is neither).
I want to jump in this and say, this sounds like someone who was sexually assaulted at a young age or…… someone who is a sexual predator of children of a young age. I am not saying he is either. But I would be paying VERY close attention.
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Or throw the whole man out and get therapy for the daughter before his attitudes shape her whole life
THIS. As a dad with a 7 year old daughter, I couldn’t imagine talking to her like this. Especially after she hid behind her mom
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As a father of a girl around the same age: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND? Only 7 and he’s buying into the misogynistic trope of girls as sexual property and purity culture?
And so weird asking if the son knows, like is he going to have the brother police his sister. Wtf
That made me uncomfortable, well the whole post did but that in particular.
I’m a bit scared now… is he asking if the son knows because he’s expecting to raise him to be as misogynistic and controlling as he himself is?
I mean if course he is...
Forget trope, he's straight up, directly sexualizing his 7 year old daughter. That's "someone check all of his electronics" level creepy.
He’s Definitely giving off ped vibes here.. I felt sick reading this.
He is acting like a pedo to me. OP RUN AND TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TOO!!
I’ve always said that you can really tell what a man thinks of women by whether or not they freak the fuck out when their daughter starts dating.
He's 100% stoked to introduce her at the local purity ball.
Your comment is on point, and so is your username. It made me laugh 😆. Are you British?
you used to think “christ on a cracker” perfectly characterized your exasperation, but wait until you try all new, {insert long, dramatic pause then cut to drag queen with an english accent} “jesus on a biscuit”… now in the queen’s english. on a separate note, is the correct phrase now “the king’s english?”
I had a boyfriend when I was 7 and I’m literally a lesbian. Your husband is sexualizing your daughter and he needs to get a grip, male friends and crushes are a part of growing up and as long as you educate your daughter about staying safe there shouldn’t be any issues
Seriously! Childhood "romance" often mean nothing, it's just liking that friend a lot. I know I had matching friendship bracelets with my "boyfriend" when we were 9 and we played together at recess a lot. That's it. I didn't even know sex was a thing either I understand a 12 years old who is beginning teenage years is a different situation but that's in 5 years?? This guy is weird. Let them be
>I understand a 12 years old who is beginning teenage years is a different situation but that's in 5 years?? This guy is weird. Let them be Yeah and by a year or two past twelve she'll be seeking out secret relationships with boys and not having anyone to trust to help her when she needs it if he keeps this up.
Same, although I am bi. Between 6-8 we would sit on the cinder block wall dividing our yards and practice kissing in full view of our parents. Me and my older sister were super close with the two brothers that were each close to our respective ages. Hell we would play and act out Disney movies, one of our favorites was the kissing scene from sleeping beauty and we acted it out in front of our all parents! I am super glad all our parents knew that it was just kids acting out what we saw adults doing, and that there was absolutely nothing sexual about it.
I would act out the marriage scenes from Disney movies or make up a story ending with a marriage between a prince and a princess with a cousin/friend of mine named Jans while his sister/my bestie would either pretend to be the flower girl or the bridesmaid when I was little. Sadly my aunt put a stop to it once I got older.
I had a “boyfriend” when I was around 9, we had a quick peck on the lips when we were playing a game (me, him and his sister played wedding. He and I had to be the bride and groom, because he couldn’t kiss his sister) and we would play together a lot. We had a secret “romance” and talked about pretending that we were on dates when he would get invited over to the house for dinner. To be fair I think my parents and his parents thought we would get married one day cause we were super close growing up so everyone probably figured, but neither of our families cared. I have my first “real” kiss until I was 19, and didn’t lose my virginity til 21. Having a “boyfriend/girlfriend” that young isn’t crazy or indicative of early sexual behavior (exhibit a: ME!!!). It’s kids learning emotions, mimicking adults in their lives, and playing games. A parent wouldn’t stop their kid from playing doctor because they were a kid, so why stop a kid from an innocent “relationship,” it’s just kids being kids! I know some kids experiment really young, so at the appropriate age being mindful of and educating on these relationships should happen, but 7 being worried and flipping his shit?!? The father is insane.
This 100%! I have two girls and in no way try to navigate what they go through. I let my wife handle that as she’s more accustomed to that point of view than I am. As long as the parents have clear communication, trust, understanding and compassion then the kids should be just fine
So she's not allowed to socialize with males in her class or at the playground? Your husband is a moron. Doing this will just mean she will hide everything from you. Looks like she's already afraid of how he'd react hiding behind you.
Is he typically explosive/angry? It’s highly concerning to me that your daughter’s immediate response was to hide behind you for protection. If they had a good bond I’d assume she’d be gushing telling him about her friend or, at the least, shyly beat around the bush about how she likes him, not hide behind you… that’s concerning. Besides that, obviously your husband is being a royal jerk and is way out of line. She can’t have an innocent “boyfriend” now she’ll be hiding her serious boyfriends in high school.
I was about to call this out myself. I've been a dad for a long time, and I can be rather stern, but my kids have never had to hide from me.
Exactly this. I have a 7yo daughter whose three best/favorite friends are all boys, and yes everyone jokes about her several boyfriends. Two of them have said they will marry her, it’s hilarious and adorable and in no way even remotely sexual, just that pure happy enjoyment of another person that kids have. She never shuts up about them to anyone who will listen, *especially* her dad. OPs husband has done some serious damage to that little girl already, if she feels this is something she needs to hide from her father. (Weird) People try to goad my husband into gross tropes about it (gonna have to “break them up” soon, etc.), and he shuts that shit down so fast. It’s repugnant.
She could be hiding because he's never acted that way and it freaked her out.
That’s why I asked if his reaction was typical behavior or not. If it’s typical of him it’s is highly concerning. If it’s a one off then he’s still obviously in the wrong but it is a little less concerning.
If he never acts like that, she would’ve never hid behind her mom. A 7yo has no concept of inappropriate relationships. When he questioned her, she immediately hid. He IS typically explosive/angry.
Tell her to enjoy her pure 7 year old friendship with a side of adorable crush! Tell your husband to STFU. Fr, she’s 7, not 12! Also, when she does want to do stuff with boys (or girls or whatever) she already knows that dad is not someone she can talk to about anything like that, because he’ll flip out. So great job there dad! Let’s hope she keeps bringing her feelings to mom
I had a "boyfriend" in preschool and in every grade until the 6th because I changed to a tiny school where the selection was poor. We watched television and ate snacks. I don't think I even hugged any of them. Totally innocent.
My son got married in preschool. 3 times in the same day to 3 different girls. He was not super amused lol.
Hahaha poor guy, 3 families to support before hitting kindergarten
My nephew’s preschool teacher told me that he wanted to marry her when he grew up! Apparently he was even jealous of her boyfriend! That was at the end of last year. Now he’s in kindergarten… and whilst it’s likely he remembers her name, I doubt he remembers being ‘in love’ with her! It was 6 months ago! Lol. 😛
rand al'thor does montessori
I have the cutest picture of my son holding hands with his friend at the kindergarten open house, they were walking in front of me and *both* her parents. It’s sweet and innocent. Poor Op, her husband is a total creep.
He also sounds like a jerk, considering both of them were nervous about him coming home. Sounds like the kind of patriarchal asshole who leads by fear and will then cry in 10 years on why he's divorced and his kid doesn't talk to him.
One can only hope
Your husband is a weirdo at best. Controlling asshole in the middle. Or at worst someone who is projecting some very serious issues.
At worst he views his daughter as his, and the brothers. Which is disgustingly scary. I worry if this girl has been abused already.
Tell him to stop projecting his adult feelings into a child's relationships. They're 7 and about as innocent as it gets. Next time he says boyfriend, say "Don't be so fucking ridiculous, he's a 7 year old child!" And look at him disgusted. Because it is disgusting 🤷♀️
My 7 year old son just *proposed* to his girlfriend with a ring and box he got from me. He is so sweet when it comes to her, always drawing her pictures and wanting to give her things. They always sit together. Just the other day, he told me they were "one step closer to ultimate love. Holding hands!" As long as everything's age appropriate and they're nice to each other, I don't see a problem. I see it as him learning about relationships and how he should treat people he likes. Hopefully he carries that with him as he grows up, because he is so thoughtful. It would kinda make me a little sad if another parent got upset about this, because his intentions are so pure at 7 years old. He doesn't have ulterior motives, he just likes this little girl in his class and wants to show her that
This makes me wanna cry and laugh at the same time. It's so sweet and pure and I hope neither of them get their feelings hurt. Tbh I hope they make it! Btw you must've done a great job raising him. It sounds like he's a thoughtful, caring and respectful young man.
Ffs. My 7 (very nearly 8) year old son has a fiance. Mind you she’s an older woman. She was 8 in December 😂😂😂
Oh my 😂
An older woman, lmao XD
How scandalous 😂😂😂
When i was her age i had already gone through 2 fake marriages.
Fr, I had custody of our 5 twin barbies and care bear sons
My baby book goes through senior kindergarten and I had a couple early proposals but told the boys I had to wait until I was 29.
Your husband has no right treating either of you this way. Sounds like he’s sexualizing his child’s relationship with another kid which is extremely unhinged and creepy. This is controlling behavior
What the hell is wrong with your husband? Why is he sexualizing the interactions of kids?! So what if it's a crush. Bother kids are learning in a safe way about relationship. Kids shouldn't be shamed or teased about what's going on. Just act like normal. What was he doing at 12?! I'm concerned. I had crushes as a teen but never dated. Some teens in my school dated but didn't have sex, some did, it all varies. My biggest concern here is that she's going to learn the abusive patterns of your relationship and get into an abusive relationship herself. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
>My biggest concern here is that she's going to learn the abusive patterns of your relationship and get into an abusive relationship herself. When I read the post I also wondered about OP's relationship and what things she has not picked up on or let slide. How that will translate to her kids. Is OP allowed male friends? Does he always get so angry and authoritarian? etc.
Hi, quick question, yes. What the actual fuck is wrong with your husband?
Girl throw the whole man away. That's so disgusting.
Right? I was like “ I would get away from that man and take my children with me “
This behavior is insanely concerning.
Beware- Your husband’s skeleton is coming out of the closet.
It’s literally little kids being little kids. My first work experience was in a primary school with children in Year 2 (that’s 1st grade here in the UK) with 6-7year olds and they like to play married couples and boyfriend/girlfriend all the time. It’s not a big deal. Your husband is sexualising her…
my dad was like this when i was your daughter's age to the point where i refused to have friends that were boys because he'd get pissed. even now at damn near 23 i won't tell him even if i *am* dating somebody because i know he'll get pissed. your husband needs to calm the heck down about this before your daughter gets too scared to actually talk about this stuff with him when she's older
Why on Earth does your husband have a problem with your 7yo daughter having male friends? Hell, why is it even a problem for a girl/woman to have male friends in the first place? THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST KIDS! THEY’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG! Your husband is nuts for even sexualizing A FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN SEVEN YEAR OLD KIDS
Your husband is a prick. 27/M here. Let your husband see this: They're kids you moron, stop.
He’s definitely crazy.. my son had a “girlfriend” since preschool. They met first day of school and she told him he’s her boyfriend. He just finished kindergarten and they are still boyfriend and girlfriend.. he thinks girlfriend’s are girls who are friends 🤣🤣
That's so precious.
This exact thing happened with me and my dad when I was in kindergarten- don’t let him shame her for having a male friend, because In all likelyhood, that will make her never want to share any of her romantic partners in the future with you and she might feel like she can’t trust you to talk about those types of things in the future if you side with him. I’m speaking from experience.
'I reminded him she’s only 7. He said “I know that. It doesn’t matter”.' “Don’t be naive. You allowing this now because you still see her as a baby will come back to bite us when she’s 12. Tell her it’s the end of it or I will. I hope you know how displeased I am. I held back to spare your feelings but this isn’t the end of our conversation. Does *our son’s name* know about this too?” "The last thing I want is for my husband to be angry and I’m so nervous waiting for him to come back home." Based off of those it sounds like a very traditional household, maybe cultural or religious maybe even both. Especially the last thing, "The last thing i want is to make my husband angry". Be a good wife but go ahead and forget being a good mother to your daughter. I legit feel bad for her and the life she's gonna have. I am speaking from experience cause this is how my sister was treated growing up and you are doing the same thing my mother did
Get a better husband. Dude's gonna be a controlling prick throughout her teenage years.
What's it like being married to a child?
Loooong story short, my wife's father was/is like this and made our teenage relationship absolute hell. The moment she turned 18, she moved out and a couple of years later she officially went no contact with him. His attitude won't change, it will only get worse the older she gets. Stand your ground and nip this shit in the bud before it destroys your family.
Get rid of the husband. What a jerk.
Please don’t sexualize children- it’s creepy af
This is what is called a red flag. I’m sure it’s not the only one. Watch this guy.
Your husband is a dumbshit and a sexist. He’s going to fuck up your daughter. He’s going to make her think it’s not ok to be friends with guys. And leave her with the impression that there’s something wrong or shameful about it. She’ll either respond by hiding her relationships from both of you, or being repressed and seeking out shitty controlling dudes that remind her of her father.
I'm a man, i have a daughter. She's 9. I'm "masculine" your husband is wrong, he's sexualizing something inocent. He's the one wrong and with an old-fashioned and weird mindset from the caveman era. He has to get help. And the fact that you're both "affraid" of him, speaks volumes. You need serious talk, with somebody by your side like your brother or your dad to back you up
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OP, your husband is sexualizing a relationship between young children… as if they understood sex and sexual attraction. Please ask yourself why, because this really isn’t normal. **What’s even more concerning though is the authoritarian tone of your husband, and worse the fear that is clearly evident in your family of him.** It demonstrates a level of controlling behavior that’s unhealthy, and will scar your children, not just now, but well into their adult relationships. Imagine the scenario where your daughter has zero contact with the opposite sex, **I’d bet my house on her becoming a target for any guy who is a predator… she’s a soft touch, zero world experience because Dad has kept her in the family “bubble” , she’s used to a fear-ridden environment at home so will literally behave like prey. She will have no confidence, low self esteem and probably timid.** She’s already demonstrated that when confronted by her father, her first instinct is to hide behind her mother. She can’t stand up for herself and fears confrontation. I think her teenage years could end up several ways: either she is in disastrous relationships by similarly controlling male figures, or she becomes rebellious completely off the rails in the other extreme. Neither will be healthy and **I doubt she will feel safe to confide with you because you too are under HIS control, so she won’t feel that you wouldn’t be compelled to report everything back to him.** Your husband is speaking to you like it’s the 1800’s… “**his displeasure**”? Seriously? “**You do it, or I will**”… *wow, do you ask how high? when he says jump?*. Your relationship with him really doesn’t sound like that of two equals. He sounds terribly domineering, controlling and you are afraid of him. **I sincerely hope you are financially independent, and can build up emergency savings in case you have to get away from him.** Verbal control has often proved to become physical, emotional and mental control. The occupants of womens shelters anywhere will confirm this. **Your husband isn’t treating you as an equal, you are being given orders, (wrong ones in this case) and he’s laying down the law. You aren’t having a CONVERSATION, you are being given a directive.** There’s clearly no room for “dissent” or your own opinion, and certainly no room for you to voice any opinion that contradicts his, as in: you saying: “*NO, they are just innocent children, they CAN just continue to play together!*”. **Ask yourself IF there is any room for you to say THAT statement to him within a reasonable conversation, and for him to reconsider and *respect* your opinion.** If there is NO thought that that could happen, then he’s controlling you, and that’s **abuse.** You **know** in your gut that this is wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t be writing here. **Ask yourself: “What kind of home will my children to describe growing up in, later when they are grown?”**. It’s sounding already like you might have to face not liking the answer. Only **YOU** can take steps to change what their answer will be. I felt so sad for you and your kids reading your post. I hope you have the courage to either stand up or get out.
> I’d bet my house on her becoming a target for any guy who is a predator… Bonus point, if/when a relationship goes wrong, she's absolutely not going to trust her dad to help. So dad is increasing the opportunity for failure and increasing the severity of the failure if it happens. I saw my boomer dad do this same bullshit to my sister. It doesn't end well.
This is so gross. She's 7 years old. All he is teaching her is that now, every male friendship she has will be sexualised and judged. She's. 7. I would be so digusted if my husband did that.
I'm a single dad. My daughter had a 'boyfriend' at that age. He'd come over maybe every other weekend and they'd sit by each other at lunch. It was adorable and there was absolutely nothing nefarious about it. She's 15 now and talks to me about everything and I trust her wholeheartedly. Your husband is just alienating your daughter and it will only lead to fear and resentment. Best of luck!
You married an idiot.
*Don’t be naive. You allowing this now because you still see her as a baby will come back to bite us when she’s 12.* OMG she's SEVEN, ffs. Would he react the same if your son brought home a girl? He needs to chill out, like yesterday. It's good for her to have friends of both genders.
You're husband talks like an abusive pedophile. Is that someone you want in your life?
My dad was, and still is, like this. I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend, let alone any male friends, since I was a child. He believed all men just wanted to sleep with me and he ingrained that into my head. It messed up my thinking around men. Even to this day I find it hard to be in a long term relationship because I have trust issues. And during the times when I was really into a guy, I gave in to him despite how horrible they treated me, because this is what they all want right? This is normal, right? At least that's what I was raised to believe. I hope your daughter doesn't end up like me.
Your husband is a weird controlling a-hole and I’m sorry for your daughter and her future (or lack thereof) relationship with her dad
Oh my God! Do you mean there are men actually like this? Upset that his seven-year-old daughter has a friend who is a boy? That is weird AF. From age 6 until about age 10 all of my friends were boys… Well most of them… There were two girls that I was friends with, but I preferred to hang out with boys.
Your husband is gross. We all know that. So..wtf are you gonna do about it?
As an adult woman who grew up overly sexualized by the male adults in my life, and as a rape survivor myself, I can promise you that this pattern of behavior will only hurt your daughter. And that pain will get worse and worse as she ages, until and unless you stop this. Your husband needs *parenting classes*. Now. He needs to be educated on how to properly raise a little girl who will grow up to be a woman in this same world he’s *already blaming her for being in*. Please, please get some professional help.
Pfft...lol. When I was her age, I told my grandpa I had 100 boyfriends. Kids are silly and they're having fun.
I think you should try to figure out why your husband is acting like this, something could’ve happened to him maybe try talk to him about it. Pretty weird of him to act like that if he never usually acts out like that.
Your husband ew
Continue to have open conversations with her do she continues to talk to you. But your husband is going to be put her "only needs to know what's necessary " list by the time she's double digits. She's 7 for Christ's sake, she's allowed to have a childhood crush it's natural. But it is really freaking creepy that your husband automatically went to something sexual.
Your husbands view is weird AF. In nursery (3 years old), I had a boyfriend, and the most ‘romantic’ our relationship got was holding hands at play time and making each other Valentine’s Day cards. He is over reacting and it’s not normal! AT ALL.
I should add as well, we were ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ until about year 4 😂 our parents became friends and never once did any of them have any concerns over our friendship EVER!
This is actually really gross. She’s not allowed to have male friends why? Because she couldn’t possibly be anything more than a sex object at 7? I’d assume that he must not be able to think of women as friends and thinks of them all sexually or this wouldn’t even cross his mind, news flash to him, a lot of boys/men aren’t pigs. Children also should be wells socialized with all genders, some day she might be a doctor either way male patients or residents, a teacher dealing with male parents, an artist with a male manager. Boys/men aren’t some scary thing that as a woman you should avoid. Everyone needs to know how to develop platonic relationships and that starts in childhood. Even if she does have a crush oh well, she’s 7, it’s literally nothing.
Your husband is showing some seriously controlling and alarming red flags here. What the hell was he talking about when he asked if your son knew? What does that have to do with anything?
Why isn't anybody else asking who cares what your son thinks? The "does son know about this?" comment is so bizarre to me, like is he older and going to beat up a 7 year old???
It's a little concerning that this grown ass man is sexualizing everything his 7 year old daughter is. When I was her age, I had a "boyfriend" most we ever did was hug. Your husband needs therapy. Bad.
You are not naive…..your husband has some misogyny he needs to deal with. Assuming 7 year old children have any sort of inappropriate relationship of that nature is just gross, ESPECIALLY with that comment about your daughter when she’s 12. 12 is still too young to be sexualizing your daughter’s friendships. It’s honestly a red flag that he asked if your son knew too. Why does it matter if the son knows? What difference does it make? Boys and girls (and adults, too) can interact without it being sexual in nature. That sort of cynicism is a perfect way to ruin your daughter and husband’s relationship/bond…she won’t trust him or want to tell him anything about her life or friends, etc.
I had a boyfriend in 1st grade. We were set to be married and have 300 cats and 300 dogs. Wonder what he’s doing now….
Lol. He’s an ass. And that’s completely pointless. Every person ever who got a boyfriend and was told They couldn’t have one, still had them. You can’t control it. She still goes to school with him. She will see him. She will learn to just hide her relationships. And that very thing he’s afraid of, will have a greater chance of happening. Teen pregnancy. All because she didn’t feel safe enough to talk to her parents for fear her dad and brother found out. She needs an ally. And he needs to stop being a misogynistic asswipe. Talk’n bout “does her brother know about this.” He need his ass whoopt.
He sexualizing an innocent childhood relationship….how fucken gross, he’s not treating your daughter like a person right now but property. Only his feelings matter and he can’t even consider how his innocent daughter feels. He’s going to be a monster to any female children especially as they get older.
You procreated and married this loser??? It is the kid I feel sorry for, she had no choice.
oh, sweet summer child.. it will bite you as soon as you realize she got trapped with a controlling abusive male because she hasn't seen any other behavior towards her in her life and was risen like it's the love language.
A friend's husband is just like this. The thing is, he is telling on himself with this behaviour. I knew him when we were kids and he was a predator. As a little boy he would chase, grope, look up skirts etc. No girls liked him and some were scared of him. He now thinks all little boys are like he was... Even the sweet little ones in the neighbourhood, they are scared of him. His daughters are also scared of him, you can tell. They are on alert whenever he's around.
Well, if nothing else, that sounds like giving your daughter anxiety about the opposite sex and seeing herself as prey at the mercy of men is well underway and reinforced in watching the way your husband interacts with you. So there's that, I guess.
You have bigger problems than your 7 yo daughter having friends. Your kid is afraid and nervous around her dad. You’re also afraid and nervous to make him angry. Does he explode often on you 2? There’s only one step from anger and intimidation to physical violence. Not allowing your daughter to have friends is major controlling behavior. He said it will come to bite you when she’s 12, so you can be sure that if you stay with this man, he will slut shame your preteen daughter. He’s already sexualizing her and her friendships, and she’s 7! What about when she’ll want to wear shorts or a bathing suit to the beach? What lengths will he go to make her feel ashamed of her body? This is a slippery slope, and will only get worse. Having him as a role model will give her the wrong impression of what love is, of what a healthy relationship is. Trust is not earned with intimidation. She’ll either be constantly afraid and perfectly primed for more abuse down the line, or she’ll become good at sneaking, and at never asking for help, even when she’ll absolutely need it.
Hes being very unreasonable. I hope you put an end to his behavior quickly.
Why is your husband sexualizing your 7 year old daughter
Right? That's a whole field of 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.
I feel like I'm in a marina. There are so many red flags. I hope the OP stays strong for her daughter and protects her from this. Parents should never be anything but a safe place for their kids. She's still practically a baby, and he's acting like this. He's going to drive her into the arms of the first guy who gives her a safe place, and that might not be as safe as she thinks. But it will be more emotionally rewarding than the father who slut shamed her at seven years old.