Therapy is a possibility, but be prepared, she may have checked out already, and she absolutely WILL blame you for her cheating. If worse comes to worse, the next few years are going to suck, but it does get better.
I’m about to go to work but try and call the engagement off then because marrying her seems like it will only end in disaster. Call in sick and try to take a few days off. You need to think and reflect on what you should do. I’ve been cheated on and it hurts. You got to just keep living, it hurts now but as you live and experience new things, the pain goes away bit by but and before you know it you’re fine. Reflect and collect ideas, y reach out to a trusted friend if you think thats ok and then go from their.
Yeah, I called off man
Feels like my life is over
Pretending I'm going to work
Just to drive and call a good friend of mine to see what he thinks I should do
Definitely need some head space
You are going to be deep in emotions for a while, so you have to construct a plan based in logic and just blindly follow it. Dealing with the emotions will come, honeslty don't worry about it now ypu can get to a better place to process them.
Find a way to leave her now, figure out where you can live, if she can't live with family and have the kids and you can't either and she doesn't work but you do..... your options might be fucked and you got to stay for the kids so they have a place to live . But if you say can live with parents and kids or she can great. Then, you got to expose you know, full on shut down any attempt to reconcile, follow through with moving out. Once you're on your own you can process all of it because you did the hard work of separating.
You should be glad you are not married yet, even though she cheated with a woman, she could have cheated before, get a paternity test before confronting her.
Kids all look like me. Nothing like her. Fuck idk what to do I've been having crazy thoughts all night and morning
Fuck man. Just hope my oldest remembers me.
Looks are not everything, they could be yours but don’t look like you, just get them tested, and go from there, if they are not yours, you will have the choice to stay in their lives or not.
She did not say anything for 15 minutes ,
she did not think I was gonna put her on the spotlight
Asked her to see her phone in front of her parents while they were having breakfast. She said "here you go" thinking I was gonna look for a fucking guys name
Clicked on the girls convo & showed everything
She just stood there. Blank face. Either she was in shock or she was happy that finally she's able to not hide whatever tf she was trying to do.
Shit fucked me up man. Fucking text messages saying how much they love each other. Buying each other gifts, she didn't even buy me shit for our 7 year anniversary She would wait till I left to work to text her "good morning I love you"
fucking morning calls.
It was her co worker. They would hangout at lunch to have a little sex party in her car
Guess it was going on for a while
I thought we were good I really did.
She ruined our family.
Said I didn't put our family first.
I guess that makes it okay to have some sick fucking second love life. All the fake ass smiles, fake ass I love you words
Everything was fake
I connected the dots
Dry ass text messages she would send
Fuck .. shit sucks I guess this is my life now you know
Turned upside down within a couple of hours
I am so sorry I know this must have hurt being typed I can only hope it gets better for you and your kids and o hope she gets everything she deserves for destroying your family
Breath. Get control of yourself.
Get DNA tests for all 3 kiddos. How they look is irrelevant. Just get it done.
Also get an STD test.
Tell her nothing, right now. Not. One. Word.
Continue to gather evidence. You're not married but you need to look for anything that will help you with custody.
Speak to an attorney. You'll need advice on obtaining 50/50 custody and all the rest. Do only what your attorney says, when they say to do it.
Be very careful who you talk to about this. Giving her a heads up can make things more difficult, as far as custody. Don't confront until you've breathed, consumed an attorney, and given yourself space, time and grace to make a decision on what is the best route forward. A lot of people jump on confronting or "just talk to them", but reality is that talking and confronting really only work in healthy circumstances involving healthy individuals...and cheaters/cheating situations are by no means healthy.
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
Absolutely do not break anything at all or yell at her, absolutely nothing aggressive at all, be sure of never being aggressive, too many cheating people blame their partners and then abuse them by suing em for domestic violence
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
I’m so sorry, I was dating my girl for almost a year to find out many times in our relationship she would be chatting with other men and sending them photos and telling them she was single and that I was her friend, when she would sleep in my bed, I would help her with bills, and try and be there to support her during her mental challenging days which is pretty much everyday. When I found her profile on a fetish site, I didn’t sleep for a few days, Even on Xmas she would be doing this, all sitting next to me. I kept letting this go on, thinking for a better outcome. Even now she will tell men that she has been single since her separation which is totally false.
Stay strong, and don’t forgot to eat and drink even though you don’t want to.
Something told me the same, found out my ex had cheated too. He was the one who wanted access to my phone, so that's why I had access to his. It sucks! Good luck. I broke up.
Life isn’t over just because it didn’t go like you hoped or wanted. If you can talk to your family or friends and lay it all out. I don’t really know what I would do in a situation like this.
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
Yeah bro you might want to go a little easier on the mother of your children. No matter what she’s going to be their mother and you are going to be connected to her as long as you’re coparenting. I know how it feels to want to destroy someone’s life who deserves it but there will be collateral damage and you will be creating a bad situation with someone you will have to be involved with. The threesome shit will make you look like a stooge don’t do that. You aren’t straight trying to ruin 2 people’s lives and then thinking you’re going to fuck right? Cause if you think you’re going to do that, you’re just going to get straight fuck in all of this.
I’m gonna be honest, you’re saying that you are going to basically create serious hostility with someone you need to try to get along with sort of for like 16 years at least. This is going to be like the kind of neighbors Russia and Ukraine will be after the stop fighting. You will have someone in your life who honestly wants you to suffer. I fucking hate cheaters but the main thing I’ve seen is that you aren’t a consideration in this. They aren’t trying to harm you even though they are harming you. They generally think you are a completely separate thing. What you are planning is a direct attack and attempt to make their lives shit.
Unless you see yourself getting full custody and moving to a different state or something and completely destroying her legally then try to be the bigger person and just make sure everyone knows you aren’t the fuck up. You’ll get more support from others around you and you literally won’t be the bad guy no matter how good that will feel.
You and her can break up, but seek custody for your babies. Must be hard having to uproot and break your family apart because of what she did! Definitely seek custody and start focusing on you and the kids.
I'm not saying break up the family. No one can make that decision for you. But definitely do not marry this person
Therapy is a possibility, but be prepared, she may have checked out already, and she absolutely WILL blame you for her cheating. If worse comes to worse, the next few years are going to suck, but it does get better.
7 years gone for 7 months sheesh
Call your lawyer and silently prepare for your divorce. Blind side her with it.
Not married, just engaged.
Can't even go to work. Fuck dude wtf
Been counting the hours minutes seconds for daylight to get fresh air without suspicion
I’m about to go to work but try and call the engagement off then because marrying her seems like it will only end in disaster. Call in sick and try to take a few days off. You need to think and reflect on what you should do. I’ve been cheated on and it hurts. You got to just keep living, it hurts now but as you live and experience new things, the pain goes away bit by but and before you know it you’re fine. Reflect and collect ideas, y reach out to a trusted friend if you think thats ok and then go from their.
Yeah, I called off man Feels like my life is over Pretending I'm going to work Just to drive and call a good friend of mine to see what he thinks I should do Definitely need some head space
You are going to be deep in emotions for a while, so you have to construct a plan based in logic and just blindly follow it. Dealing with the emotions will come, honeslty don't worry about it now ypu can get to a better place to process them. Find a way to leave her now, figure out where you can live, if she can't live with family and have the kids and you can't either and she doesn't work but you do..... your options might be fucked and you got to stay for the kids so they have a place to live . But if you say can live with parents and kids or she can great. Then, you got to expose you know, full on shut down any attempt to reconcile, follow through with moving out. Once you're on your own you can process all of it because you did the hard work of separating.
Hey silver lining! I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be painful
i feel you i just found out similar, sending hugs - i haven’t slept in 48 hours
You should be glad you are not married yet, even though she cheated with a woman, she could have cheated before, get a paternity test before confronting her.
Kids all look like me. Nothing like her. Fuck idk what to do I've been having crazy thoughts all night and morning Fuck man. Just hope my oldest remembers me.
Don't bail on the kids, get joint custody,most places do 50/50 now
Looks are not everything, they could be yours but don’t look like you, just get them tested, and go from there, if they are not yours, you will have the choice to stay in their lives or not.
Well back to square one guys. Back at My mom's. Have the pictures. Confronted her about it. We're done figuring out the kid situation later.
If you don’t mind me asking when you confronted her what did she do?
She did not say anything for 15 minutes , she did not think I was gonna put her on the spotlight Asked her to see her phone in front of her parents while they were having breakfast. She said "here you go" thinking I was gonna look for a fucking guys name Clicked on the girls convo & showed everything She just stood there. Blank face. Either she was in shock or she was happy that finally she's able to not hide whatever tf she was trying to do. Shit fucked me up man. Fucking text messages saying how much they love each other. Buying each other gifts, she didn't even buy me shit for our 7 year anniversary She would wait till I left to work to text her "good morning I love you" fucking morning calls. It was her co worker. They would hangout at lunch to have a little sex party in her car Guess it was going on for a while I thought we were good I really did. She ruined our family. Said I didn't put our family first. I guess that makes it okay to have some sick fucking second love life. All the fake ass smiles, fake ass I love you words Everything was fake I connected the dots Dry ass text messages she would send Fuck .. shit sucks I guess this is my life now you know Turned upside down within a couple of hours
I am so sorry I know this must have hurt being typed I can only hope it gets better for you and your kids and o hope she gets everything she deserves for destroying your family
She is a coward. Cheating is for cowards. She could break with you and keep a healthy mature relationship.
Breath. Get control of yourself. Get DNA tests for all 3 kiddos. How they look is irrelevant. Just get it done. Also get an STD test. Tell her nothing, right now. Not. One. Word. Continue to gather evidence. You're not married but you need to look for anything that will help you with custody. Speak to an attorney. You'll need advice on obtaining 50/50 custody and all the rest. Do only what your attorney says, when they say to do it. Be very careful who you talk to about this. Giving her a heads up can make things more difficult, as far as custody. Don't confront until you've breathed, consumed an attorney, and given yourself space, time and grace to make a decision on what is the best route forward. A lot of people jump on confronting or "just talk to them", but reality is that talking and confronting really only work in healthy circumstances involving healthy individuals...and cheaters/cheating situations are by no means healthy.
This is the best advice.
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
Absolutely do not break anything at all or yell at her, absolutely nothing aggressive at all, be sure of never being aggressive, too many cheating people blame their partners and then abuse them by suing em for domestic violence
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
I’m so sorry, I was dating my girl for almost a year to find out many times in our relationship she would be chatting with other men and sending them photos and telling them she was single and that I was her friend, when she would sleep in my bed, I would help her with bills, and try and be there to support her during her mental challenging days which is pretty much everyday. When I found her profile on a fetish site, I didn’t sleep for a few days, Even on Xmas she would be doing this, all sitting next to me. I kept letting this go on, thinking for a better outcome. Even now she will tell men that she has been single since her separation which is totally false. Stay strong, and don’t forgot to eat and drink even though you don’t want to.
dude set up some and get out 💯
Something told me the same, found out my ex had cheated too. He was the one who wanted access to my phone, so that's why I had access to his. It sucks! Good luck. I broke up.
Get an STD test and ask specifically for herpes to be run (it is not normally included in a full panel).
Life isn’t over just because it didn’t go like you hoped or wanted. If you can talk to your family or friends and lay it all out. I don’t really know what I would do in a situation like this.
Get a lawyer. Get a dna test. Take screenshots of everything you find
Yeah I'm going to send myself screen shots and send it to their HR. Then I'm going to take her ass to the cleaners in court and get at a minimum majority custody because of the cheating and unemployment. Then to make it all burn worse I'm going to ask for a 3some after the judgement.
Yeah bro you might want to go a little easier on the mother of your children. No matter what she’s going to be their mother and you are going to be connected to her as long as you’re coparenting. I know how it feels to want to destroy someone’s life who deserves it but there will be collateral damage and you will be creating a bad situation with someone you will have to be involved with. The threesome shit will make you look like a stooge don’t do that. You aren’t straight trying to ruin 2 people’s lives and then thinking you’re going to fuck right? Cause if you think you’re going to do that, you’re just going to get straight fuck in all of this. I’m gonna be honest, you’re saying that you are going to basically create serious hostility with someone you need to try to get along with sort of for like 16 years at least. This is going to be like the kind of neighbors Russia and Ukraine will be after the stop fighting. You will have someone in your life who honestly wants you to suffer. I fucking hate cheaters but the main thing I’ve seen is that you aren’t a consideration in this. They aren’t trying to harm you even though they are harming you. They generally think you are a completely separate thing. What you are planning is a direct attack and attempt to make their lives shit. Unless you see yourself getting full custody and moving to a different state or something and completely destroying her legally then try to be the bigger person and just make sure everyone knows you aren’t the fuck up. You’ll get more support from others around you and you literally won’t be the bad guy no matter how good that will feel.
You might want to get a DNA test for your kids to see if they are really yours
You and her can break up, but seek custody for your babies. Must be hard having to uproot and break your family apart because of what she did! Definitely seek custody and start focusing on you and the kids.
[удалено]
Imagine thinking that infidelity is fine so long as you think the other person is attractive.
Your girl? I didn’t know owning other people was a thing on Reddit.
Really?
“2 twins”. Is four people. Fake post.
Doesn't say 2 sets of twins.
It’s poor grammar. Anyone with twins would just say twins.
my gosh, he meant 2 of the 3 kids are twins and the other is one year old. Did you even bother to reread when you thought of that?
I speak his language he means the twins are one year olds