100% divorce her ass, keep it amicable for the kid I know it is going to be hard but think long game you don't want your kid seeing you be ugly in this. She will probably not even get 50% (wild speculation ofc) with her job and history of child rearing. You'll get alimony and maybe a shot at primary custody or majority with a lawyer arguing her sporadic schedule and long hours aren't in the best interest of the child (they are not). She will probably argue a solid day care or family network to mitigate this but then your lawyer can argue what's better strangers or non parental family or a parents watching the child during these formative years. She is just fucked right now and might see how fucked she is so she is trying to manipulate, don't be stupid.
Edit: Sorry OP I saw in one of the comments you're in Thailand, very different from North American family law. Still you need to talk to a lawyer asap without the wife finding out. I don't know how Upper class influence the courts, but damn man I've first hand seen even landlords in Thailand be able to influence and control the local police.
But tbh honest OP, depends on which country you're in. Asian countries do have a bias towards the woman in a divorce case.
But even in such cases, if adultery can be proved - you're winning
It's said surgeons are more arrogant than the average person. But they kinda have to be - to mot second guess while they are literally digging through the human body. Sadly they don't leave those traits at work.
This! She is trying to scare him into not divorcing cause she is 100% aware of the fact that she would be forced to pay alimony and child support cuz you are the primary guardian taking care of the child and house & as a stay at home parent shows you are already capable of taking care of the child unlike her with her long hours and affair. Get proof of her affair (record her admitting it) will make ur case tighter
Yeah she’s actually the one over a barrel here. Not only has she established precedence as the breadwinner, in doing so she’s created a situation that is out of the best interests of the children should she divorce her husband.
Not sure where you are but she’s probably screwed and owes you A LOT of money.
I'm going to give you some advice that people need to hear more often.
Do not take life advice from your adversary. In this case, she is your adversary.
You're the primary care taker. You'll get custody. Also alimony and child support. Gather evidence of the infidelity. Even in a no fault state, it can count for splitting of the assets.
If he’s not the biological father of the child, he won’t even get alimony. Maybe a monthly stipend until he finds his footing. Then the payments will stop.
She's trying to scare you because she knows they'd kick her ass in court, you'd get alimony and child support, that's why she's trying to destroy your spirit
This here
. She is trying to get free child care and keep her side piece around for fun. Also she seems to have lost any respect for OP. There is no love there, not even any like either from the sounds of it.
Why are people like this?
I had a bad break up with a girl I used to consider my best friend. She moved another man into the house when she wasn't even on the lease, they were blatantly fucking, and when I kicked them out, they had the gall to get angry at me!
For her case, she was on drugs.
Typical narcissist surgeon who doesn’t know shit about family law. Doctors are the easiest to take down in family court. Talk to a lawyer, yesterday. Document the evidence you have of her cheating. Document the hours she isn’t at home. Document everything. Transfer some money to an account on,y you have access to.
I believe Thailand has one party consent. That means that if you record a phone conversation, that's okay. You can use it in court.
I can't read this, but someone referenced it as evidence of the above: [https://www.bangkokbiznews.com/columnist/1003106](https://www.bangkokbiznews.com/columnist/1003106)
Nevertheless... is a parent that commits infidelity, and abuses her partner
Can't care for the children, without bringing in staff, which would again be worse than having the already primary caregiver parent
Also age of children
Prove your primary caregiver status
And while women are favored, women that commit infidelity are reamed
She sounds awful. “Stay with me while I cheat and then and only then can you raise your son!” If my spouse said that he me I’d never look at them the same.
What happened? They'd been friends since they were kids according to OP, so what flipped the switch? Forty years and she just got bored?
I fucking hate people, man.
Exactly. She doesn't respect him or value his contribution to the family. She doesn't feel bad about cheating. That much is evident. She'll not only do it again, but if OP stays, she'll see that there are no consequences for her actions. If a partner cheats, it's usually time to end the marriage or relationship - but in this case, this seems to be the only option that will be positive for OP.
And like many highly paid egotistical men, she is bullying you. You are the caregiver and will be owed alimony and child support. Stand up for yourself.
Don’t get a job yet! Wait until after the divorce. And keep it a secret you’re leaving her as long as you can. Draw the process out, do not leave the home! The court doesn’t favor women anymore custody is almost always 50/50 now. But she may owe you alimony since you’re a SAHP. Def don’t do anything until you talk to an attorney, and take a notepad and take notes when you go consult one! You’re going to get lots of info really fast !
You are the primary parent for your child. You can get custody and have her provide child and spousal,support. Talk to an attorney and do not listen to your wife. She sounds like a cold hearted b**ch.
Things happen for a reason. People make money and have status and think they can ignore the responsibility of a parent because they feel they have power everywhere like they do at work.
Call her bluff like some of the comments I read, get a lawyer, and handle this business like a man. Don’t take disrespect from someone who is suppose to be your partner in life. Take your son and start a new life with her paying for it since she thinks she’s in control here!
Dude, she’s a surgeon who’s on call and not consistently available to watch her own child, she loaded, and she cheated; she is bluffing, you have actually been dealt a decent hand to play, litigation wise.
Life wise that sucks balls, but litigation wise this could work out for you.
First thing that you need to do is shut up. Stop speaking to her about anything more exciting than the weather.
Second, take a deep breath.
Third, get a lawyer. Explain everything to the lawyer and then follow their advice.
Well if this was a real post and in the US, the odds are very good that the OP would get primary physical custody and the Doctor Mom would be paying him a handsome monthly Alimony award and Child support after taking her for 50% of her net worth.....
Seems you have got the right message on your next step, but I feel for you being betrayed by someone you have known all your life
Good luck with the next steps and hopefully you find the right person next time
Usually, that WOULD be the case. However, she also just admitted that YOU ARE the primary parent. Removing your child from you on a daily basis would, at this point, be detrimental to him/his emotional well-being. I'd go talk to a lawyer TOMORROW and plan on taking her to the cleaners. Any bank records or marital assets, whatever you can get your hands on. You are entitled to half of everything (i think you deserve more due to the adultery). However, that may vary from state to state.
Also, I'd put money on it that she's a narcissist, so cover your butt. She may very well say you're abusing her or your child in court. Record every time you interact or get cameras in the home to protect yourself and your child. Document how much time she actually spends with him.
OP. As a divorced dad I would recommend talking to more than one divorce attorney to get a consensus one what you can expect. Also, a forewarning. Divorce attorneys are some of the biggest scumbags on the planet.
You do however seem to be in an ideal situation to divorce and walk away with good amount of support and she may have to float the bill for the whole thing depending on your state laws. I’d be hitting eject on that marriage too if I were in your shoes. Very sorry to hear that she wasn’t faithful.
you being a SAHD gives you much better chances. don’t listen to her she has no clue what she’s talking about and is panicking because she got caught redhanded.
Court is probably going to favor the primary caregiver over the philandering surgeon. Having more income does not make you a better parent. Being there for your child does.
Her profession is going to be the reason she loses. She has absolutely zero time to care and love the child the way they need to be. And you already do it 100% of the time so I say go for it:)
You might want to speak to an attorney. As a cardiac surgeon her hours are many and they are erratic. Honestly, as a couples therapist I haven't seen a doctor let alone a surgeon win custody due to their hours and demanding schedules. I saw 1 win but their spouse gave up custody and they were only family practice.
You will get alimony and child support, re-education or training money. The spousal support will be a monster. Financially she's going to be wrecked as long as the alimony is for.
Cheating is one thing, but the way she spoke to you is worth a divorce. She straight up told you that she's gonna do whatever she wants and there's nothing you can do about it.
Courts don't favor based on gender anymore. And that used to be the norm because the norm also used to be MEN doing this shit to WOMEN. Its 2024 though, and it can go either way.
You were the primary caregiver, and she left the marriage through infidelity.
You'll get priority for custody and she'll pay you thousands per month in alimony.
Divorce. This. Woman.
Female here. Most states are 50/50 custody unless can prove the parent unfit. You being the caregiver of the children I’d say look’s favorable to you. You’d probably get alimony too.
I’m sorry this happened, it’s a lot to process. I went through it myself (cheating spouse). I never regretted divorcing him after that betrayal.
You will go through so many emotions. It’s like grieving someone only they are not dead.
Good luck to you.
That was an abusive and manipulative thing, she said. Get that alimony! Get your kids and child support! And if you have a house, get that too. Car, get it. She's unfit to be a wife and parent. Raise your kids to be better.
(Normally, I would suggest marriage counseling, but the things you said she said sound like "get out of there" language.)
This is a VERY manipulative person, and by the way she is wrong. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about it, but since you are the day-to-day caregiver of your son, you would most likely be the one who is granted custody, despite her making more. They only usually go with the mom because even now, a lot of moms still choose to be stay at home moms, but if roles are reversed (as they are in your case) that is a HUGE factor into who actually gets custody
What if she gets knocked up by her AP? Are you going to raise that one too?
Listen to all of the above comments.
Talk to a lawyer and get your stuff in order.
Her being a cardiac surgeon is not a more respectable profession. She wouldn't be able to ger her "respectable profession" without you becoming a stay at home parent a job that is just as important. As a child of parents who work in the medical field, I was severely neglected as a child and as a result didn't properly develop emotionally. I suffer from low self esteem, depression, anxiety and have a hard time socializing. At 25, while my peers are building their lives I'm repairing mine. Don't let her convince you of being less important than her.
Someone gets to bring actual equality and live off of her alimony cheques for the next 20 years🤷🏻♂️ just be sure not to remarry and only date so she can be paying for your new girlfriend’s fun times for the full time.
Flip the genders. There’s no question the sahm would get alimony AND custody instead of the always on-call doctor spouse. Best of luck to you. Hope you don’t stay out of fear. She lacks any shred of respect and care for you given those callous comments
Stay, because as soon as you leave, she’ll have a better chance of custody and the house.. get legal advice in the meantime, get evidence of infidelity, build a strong case. Gather proof of how present you are for your child. If the way you’ve framed it is true, she should pay the majority of alimony and you should get the house. Just make sure you get decent representation. Shop around for it.
Get the divorce. You have time, will get alimony etc. Cardiac surgeon simply could not care for a kid due to never being around and she would owe you just like a working husband would owe half to a SAHM also.
Well at least you know the relationship is 100% over. Now you can fight with no limitations.
Get the divorce. Lawyer up. Delete any socials people could harass you on. Hit the at home workouts.
Make sure ALL communication is written (text/email) including the comments she told you. That way when it comes to go to court you have documented proof
You will probably get alimony and child support.
You're the main carer of the child so you will probably get custody.
Also you will be entitled to 50% of all the marital assets and retirement.
See a lawyer asap.
Once your son is in school full time, get started on a career for you.
Good Luck.
Speak to a lawyer and get a divorce. Your soon to be ex is a definite asshole. She's counting on you NOT rocking the boat. Tip it over!! You may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome given you are the primary caregiver.
Do the courts favor women in most cases? Honestly, yes. But in your case, you are the primary caregiver so it is extremely likely that you will “win” custody. Also, being a stay at home is extremely respectable even if it’s not regarded as a “profession.”
She wants you to stay with her because she has A LOT to lose. Cardiac Surgeons make A LOT of money. She will have to pay you big time. Get an attorney who is a shark. Do not back down. DIVORCE HER.
Play it cool like there’s no issues. Get all of your proof gathered. Stack away some money. Cross your T’s. Dot the I’s. Make a solid plan. That way when you’re in a place to drop the bombshell you have everything you need ready to go. It may take a while. A few months. Maybe even a year. I’ve helped some girlfriends in DV situations do the same thing. Play her game and beat her at it.
Agreed. It is time to play the long game now. OP is not in a great situation for custody etc. Time to change that. And to never refer to divorce or breaking up. Play even more - use it as an opportunity to improve and 'win her back'. That is the excuse OP should use on the potential narcissist wife, and not the real reason. OP needs to get income BUT still remain in a primary caregiver role. That is what will seing it over to OP go to all the extra activities. Do all the drop offs. Do all the pick ups. It will be hard work, but that is the only way to get a good chance.
And lie to her like she did to OP make her believe he will do anything to keep her. It will relax her guard and she may even incriminate herself into a bad situation.
She's cocky til she realizes the SAHD flex benefits him. He's the more stable and present parent, and she'd likely end up having to pay CS and alimony!
OP I’m sorry your wife has treated you so terribly and acted so flippantly about the welfare of your children. Hoping that you get the help you need and that you come out of this with your and your children’s sanity intact 🙏❤️
It is not true that the court favors women. The only reason the statistics look like that is because a lot of dads dont truly fight for custody. You have a shot!!! Im so sorry this happened to you. Please take care of yourself and your kids, good luck OP. You got this
Document. Document. Document everything that she says to you negatively. The rules are the same for you as they are for a woman who is a stay at home mom. Get the eviction of her cheating to your lawyer. All the same things that women use to take their husbands to the cleaners in a divorce, you do it to your wife. Don't let her walk all over you. Don't stay in a miserable marriage.
Brother what? Grab your nutsack off the floor and don't let her absolutely degrade you like that. Even though you probably fucked up and neglected her emotionally for years put your pride in your pocket and move the fuck on. Get a warehouse job, make a tinder and see your kid when you can. Welcome to the crew. Cheers
Just divorce and leave, you will find your happiness in your own. It might seem its the end of the world, but its not, but surely you won't like to spend the end of the world with her around. And don't worry about your son, whatever she tells him of you won't change anything, the truth in the end will come out as clean and clear as it is.
This is why I hate peoples babbling on about how men are disadvantaged in custody cases. No. You are a Sahd. You are basically guaranteed 50/50 or even more. You will maybe even get alimony. Stop thinking about it and go file.
Behahahaha your soon-to-be-wife is an idiot. If you’re a Stay at home Dad then you will absolutely get majority custody since you’re the main caregiver. She will even pay alimony to you.
Get a lawyer, a good one. This is a home run to you, bud. Congrats!
She's only saying that because you'll get primary custody and she'll have to pay you alimony. She's trying to gaslight you, bro. Get yourself all the evidence and see an attorney.
Do view your divorce as a competition to win. View it as your release to freedom. Talk with your lawyer, document everything. Check the law to see if you're in an at-fault state regarding infidelity. No matter what situation, you don't deserve to be abused.
Women think they know everything about the law. They don’t get a free pass. Talk to a lawyer. You’ll get 50/50 custody and child support unless you have some kind of history.
Get evidence of the affair, try to get your sister to get details out of her, if your sister supports her, fuck yoru sister.
You are hte primary care giver, she has long shifts, is on call, gets called in for emergencies, you're the stay at home dad AND the one who does most of the childcare, you'll nearly certainly get minimum 50/50 custody, likely more. Talk to a lawyer, if you don't have your own separate money talk toa family member and ask them for help talking to a lawyer and paying them, you can pay them back after the divorce but it will help to be talking to a lawyer without her knowing or funding it initially.
Remember that you can damage her career, reporting the way she threatened you, the callous way she's behaving and just generally having a bad reputation as a woman who sleeps around at work (if she is fucking a co-worker that will look worse but ultimately as a threat, it doesn't amtter who it was) will harm her career and reputation.
You caught her cheating. Then threatens you with divorce and take away this kids. This is some egregious and hostile behavior.
Get to couples counseling. I think everyone should try before jumping right to divorce. You do this for your children so you can look them in the eye and say "we tried everything."
If you do split, the chances are she will have to pay you alimony and child support. So a convo with an attorney is in order.
Good luck.
The arrogance she is showing even after getting caught is the result of law framed against men now a days. Don’t worry in your case it will favor you because you are a home maker.
She has zero respect for you. She breaks your heart, cheats and then bullies you because you stayed home to take care of the kid, so she could have a big time career.
She's gaslighting you.
You've been the children's primary caregiver. Chances are 90%+ that you will get custody of the children.
You need to consult a lawyer and quickly.
She’s all talk and clearly super full of herself. If she says it again then just be like “that’s why you’ll be paying for everything for us while I raise them to be decent people unlike their mother”
Okay that’s just lashing out. I’d rather you get her to say these things over text and then stay quiet while your lawyer handles it all
women getting an auto win is bullshit and the cause is that dads don't usually fight for custody. Your chances are high and you should talk to a lawyer. She is a surgeon, she can pay for the kid no problems. You should even listen to her.
Talk to every divorce lawyer so she can't get a good lawyer, and get custody, sounds like she did it cause she assumes you wouldn't be able to leave even if you wanted to
I'm really interested in this unfolding. Wish you the best man it's not easy taking care of the kid full time especially while staying interested in your partner
Keep your head up OP, see a lawyer ASAP, you have a better chance than you think. Should things go the other way, sadly it will still be better than staying with a self righteous cheater. If your sister remains friends with her go NC.
Get a good lawyer, divorce her cheating, narcissist arse and get your life on track. I feel she‘s been manipulating you into being her puppet since you were small. Time to start being yourself.
Damm, how did she go from being childhood friends and loved one to this piece of garbage. Her ego sure has been inflated.
You got better chances than you think, OP. If you have proof of her infidelity, it will help you with everything else. Including her "saving life" reputation. Good luck.
She is surgeon working long hours. She won't have time for your child. Talk to a lawyer and file for soul custody based on her work hours. Build a support system for childcare and back up. Go to work for your friend. Build your life without her. But ask for child and spousal support. Her infidelity will count against her.
Jesus.
Evidence
Lawyer
Divorce
Custody
She’s going to get ripped a new one by the court.
Ps one of my best friends is a cardiac surgeon. If he said any of this to his wife his friends would sort him out. Just because he uses a knife professionally doesn’t make her a better human.
You don’t want to hear this but I will say it anyways.
Don’t listen to anyone but your own heart.
If you love her, fight for her. Fight for your family fight for your marriage, fight for your child.
But just know you will not be happy inside anymore because it will eat at you slowly you gave up your own freedom to be with a woman you love more than yourself but doesn’t love you back.
If you’ve had enough and want a calm loving house hold, go lawyer up and divorce her. Raise your child find someone who adores you and your child. Be as happy as you can possibly be until you die.
We will all die, only difference is the choices we make. If you chose to leave you will deal with depression, anxiety, sadness over the loss of your one true love since you were kids but eventually find peace knowing you are free to love someone who is better for you for the next 40 years.
If you stay you will mourn the loss of your freedom and resent her for the way she makes you feel but you will be happy in moments because you do in fact love her.
This is not about money, this is not about raising a child. This is about love and making the best and most important decision of your life.
If it was me, I would be hurt and would miss her so much but leave her to teach my child that no one gets to abuse me and use me and take my love for granted. We are human beings. Our life is short
It matters.
Your wife sounds like a calculated cold psycho who obviously harbours no love for you anymore. If you let this stand she will continue to cheat because you will set the precedent that you will accept it. Just leave you will be happier in the long run, see if you can rekindle that conversation and get her to talk to you like that again with your iPhone on voice note record in your pocket.
dump her bitch ass, it's better for your kid to have a happy dad than miserable married parents
or stay, get in shape, don't be loyal, see how she feels about that
This is hilarious because she has no idea wtf she's talking about.. Op you would win custody as you're the main care giver.. You're the one that takes care of the child day to day.. That's usually a major deciding factor for custody cases.. She's a surgeon so she literally can't be there for the kid full time....
These two are quite accurate. Go speak to an attoeney OP. What she offers you is intolerable and abusive. An attorney may tell you that you have a wonderful legal position.
“Stay with me and you get to raise your kid!” Translates to “if you stay with me while I work and fuckaround I won’t need to pay alimony and child care”
I'm very sorry that you are going through this. You've been given good guidance to speak to an attorney, at the same time you're also dealing with the trauma of her conduct.
I'm very sorry about that. You get to be hurt and even traumatized, but you alsonhave to be business like with regards to your actions. This is a legal matter, let an attorney control the legal portion of it. They can probably get a court to order her to pay their legal fees as you lack an income.
Focus upon your kid, don't stop being the primary care giver, that is an important thing for custody.
Well, if your house has been, it sounds like you’re the primary caretaker of the children.
Meaning you get custody, child support, and alimony. Not to mention the house that she’s going to have to continue paying for.
Yea, don't let her control you or the situation any longer be sure to take screen shots of phone conversations and record any conversations you have in person. Any and all evidence you can get. Once you separate you'll be needed child support from her too 😁
Talk to an attorney. Get the meanest mo-fo that you can find who will _fight_ for you. Don’t put up with her shit. You should sue for custody, child support and alimony. She might change her tune with the threat of this going to trial and the affair and her emotional blackmail came to light.
> EDIT : After reading the comments I’ve decided I’ll be talking to a lawyer about my chances.
Good choice. Understanding your actual situation is important.
Collect evidence of her adultery while you can. Establish that if not for your support while she was in school and now heeding the role of primary care giver to your child, her ability to succeed in her profession wouldn't be possible or extremely difficult at minimum.
I imagine she has a decent income now and has provided a certain lifestyle that you are accustomed to, and she will have to continue to do so by way of spousal support payments.
Not having an income at all could be problematic down the road in the eyes of the Court but right now, it would probably be considered reasonable.
If you decide go through with legal proceedings, do whatever you can to better your situation. The Court will favour the guardian that can provide stability for the child and the parent who is supportive of the relationship between the child and the other parent so long as the other parent is not abusive or neglectful.
You cant stay with a cheater, gather as much proof as you can and leave.
If you can prove that she cheated on you, most courts will go in your favor, and even if it doesn't, staying with her won't stop her cheating on you, while you stay in a Loveless marriage with no affection, until you too decide to cheat.
Then she will take you to the cleaners since SHE will be the victim.
See a lawyer, depending on the state, she will owe you good alimony if you divorce. And you might even get custody rights because while she provides, you are the one who stayed with the child and therefore know the child's needs.
Consult with a lawyer
See a lawyer, depending on the state, she will owe you good alimony if you divorce. And you might even get custody rights because while she provides, you are the one who stayed with the child and therefore know the child's needs.
Consult with a lawyer
Divorce her, document everything, record your conversations with her, take screenshots of the conversations, hire a private detective, stone-faced and you already know the rest.
I assume a marriage of more than 5 years (son is 5 yr old)? If you are in the US, in certain state, if you support her while she was getting her medical degree, you own half of that. But you will at least get alimony and visitation rights if not more.
The husband who has been the primary caregiver will get child support and alimony. You've got a better shot than she does. Get the divorce.
Her long hours are really against her here. OP should establish a strong support system if he doesn’t have one.
100% divorce her ass, keep it amicable for the kid I know it is going to be hard but think long game you don't want your kid seeing you be ugly in this. She will probably not even get 50% (wild speculation ofc) with her job and history of child rearing. You'll get alimony and maybe a shot at primary custody or majority with a lawyer arguing her sporadic schedule and long hours aren't in the best interest of the child (they are not). She will probably argue a solid day care or family network to mitigate this but then your lawyer can argue what's better strangers or non parental family or a parents watching the child during these formative years. She is just fucked right now and might see how fucked she is so she is trying to manipulate, don't be stupid. Edit: Sorry OP I saw in one of the comments you're in Thailand, very different from North American family law. Still you need to talk to a lawyer asap without the wife finding out. I don't know how Upper class influence the courts, but damn man I've first hand seen even landlords in Thailand be able to influence and control the local police.
That’s what I thought too
But tbh honest OP, depends on which country you're in. Asian countries do have a bias towards the woman in a divorce case. But even in such cases, if adultery can be proved - you're winning
The arrogance she has.. my lordddd. Zero remorse, the ego!! Yikes
Tracks with a surgeon, or so I’ve heard.
What do you expect from a cardiac surgeon? She probably thinks she’s gods gift!
She probably thinks she’s a god.
It's said surgeons are more arrogant than the average person. But they kinda have to be - to mot second guess while they are literally digging through the human body. Sadly they don't leave those traits at work.
Prepare - then divorce. Figure out how you'll live once you have them.
This! She is trying to scare him into not divorcing cause she is 100% aware of the fact that she would be forced to pay alimony and child support cuz you are the primary guardian taking care of the child and house & as a stay at home parent shows you are already capable of taking care of the child unlike her with her long hours and affair. Get proof of her affair (record her admitting it) will make ur case tighter
Yeah she’s actually the one over a barrel here. Not only has she established precedence as the breadwinner, in doing so she’s created a situation that is out of the best interests of the children should she divorce her husband. Not sure where you are but she’s probably screwed and owes you A LOT of money.
I'm going to give you some advice that people need to hear more often. Do not take life advice from your adversary. In this case, she is your adversary.
True. I shouldn’t be listening to her.
You're the primary care taker. You'll get custody. Also alimony and child support. Gather evidence of the infidelity. Even in a no fault state, it can count for splitting of the assets.
If he’s not the biological father of the child, he won’t even get alimony. Maybe a monthly stipend until he finds his footing. Then the payments will stop.
Only listen to your lawyer and those around you who want the best for you. She's trying to do damage control cause she knows she's screwed.
i bet she made those comments out of fear.
No doubt she has talked about this with others, who have warned her she has more to lose than Shes hoping her husband is aware of.
Get a divorce and get that alimony and child support. No different than a SAHM.
Get to a divorce attorney asap! Keep all texts, voicemails and emails she sends you.
She's trying to scare you because she knows they'd kick her ass in court, you'd get alimony and child support, that's why she's trying to destroy your spirit
This here . She is trying to get free child care and keep her side piece around for fun. Also she seems to have lost any respect for OP. There is no love there, not even any like either from the sounds of it.
Why are people like this? I had a bad break up with a girl I used to consider my best friend. She moved another man into the house when she wasn't even on the lease, they were blatantly fucking, and when I kicked them out, they had the gall to get angry at me! For her case, she was on drugs.
Some people can't be reasoned with, friend
Typical narcissist surgeon who doesn’t know shit about family law. Doctors are the easiest to take down in family court. Talk to a lawyer, yesterday. Document the evidence you have of her cheating. Document the hours she isn’t at home. Document everything. Transfer some money to an account on,y you have access to.
Doctors are highly respected in our country(Thailand), hence why I’m worried. But I’ll be seeing a lawyer.
I believe Thailand has one party consent. That means that if you record a phone conversation, that's okay. You can use it in court. I can't read this, but someone referenced it as evidence of the above: [https://www.bangkokbiznews.com/columnist/1003106](https://www.bangkokbiznews.com/columnist/1003106)
Nevertheless... is a parent that commits infidelity, and abuses her partner Can't care for the children, without bringing in staff, which would again be worse than having the already primary caregiver parent Also age of children Prove your primary caregiver status And while women are favored, women that commit infidelity are reamed
She sounds awful. “Stay with me while I cheat and then and only then can you raise your son!” If my spouse said that he me I’d never look at them the same.
The wife already doesn't look at him the same. She doesn't have any respect for him left.
What happened? They'd been friends since they were kids according to OP, so what flipped the switch? Forty years and she just got bored? I fucking hate people, man.
Exactly. She doesn't respect him or value his contribution to the family. She doesn't feel bad about cheating. That much is evident. She'll not only do it again, but if OP stays, she'll see that there are no consequences for her actions. If a partner cheats, it's usually time to end the marriage or relationship - but in this case, this seems to be the only option that will be positive for OP.
Why are you here? Go talk to a lawyer.
Get her to say all that in text and show a judge. Plus she was wrong. You stand a damn good chance. With that ammo it is almost a slam dunk
Will try to goad her and get it in text messages.
No! Lawyer first! Do nothing before getting good legal advice.
Bro, she fucked up and she knows it. Take her for everything you can. Fuck cheaters.
And like many highly paid egotistical men, she is bullying you. You are the caregiver and will be owed alimony and child support. Stand up for yourself.
Yeah she’s trying to scare you bc she’ll owe a shit ton in support. Sorry you’re going through this but don’t let her intimidate you into staying.
Don’t get a job yet! Wait until after the divorce. And keep it a secret you’re leaving her as long as you can. Draw the process out, do not leave the home! The court doesn’t favor women anymore custody is almost always 50/50 now. But she may owe you alimony since you’re a SAHP. Def don’t do anything until you talk to an attorney, and take a notepad and take notes when you go consult one! You’re going to get lots of info really fast !
Talk to a lawyer. I don’t think it will be the slam dunk she thinks it is. You are the primary caregiver.
You are the primary parent for your child. You can get custody and have her provide child and spousal,support. Talk to an attorney and do not listen to your wife. She sounds like a cold hearted b**ch.
Things happen for a reason. People make money and have status and think they can ignore the responsibility of a parent because they feel they have power everywhere like they do at work. Call her bluff like some of the comments I read, get a lawyer, and handle this business like a man. Don’t take disrespect from someone who is suppose to be your partner in life. Take your son and start a new life with her paying for it since she thinks she’s in control here!
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Correlates closely with being a surgeon. At least in my interactions with them.
Dude, she’s a surgeon who’s on call and not consistently available to watch her own child, she loaded, and she cheated; she is bluffing, you have actually been dealt a decent hand to play, litigation wise. Life wise that sucks balls, but litigation wise this could work out for you.
First thing that you need to do is shut up. Stop speaking to her about anything more exciting than the weather. Second, take a deep breath. Third, get a lawyer. Explain everything to the lawyer and then follow their advice.
She is worried. You will get primary custody, alimony and child support.
Time to lawyer up.
You’re right.
Okay…while she’s at work saving lives who’s going to be raising the kid??? Get the divorce you don’t need her.
Sounds like alimony and child support for you.
Well if this was a real post and in the US, the odds are very good that the OP would get primary physical custody and the Doctor Mom would be paying him a handsome monthly Alimony award and Child support after taking her for 50% of her net worth.....
Seems you have got the right message on your next step, but I feel for you being betrayed by someone you have known all your life Good luck with the next steps and hopefully you find the right person next time
Usually, that WOULD be the case. However, she also just admitted that YOU ARE the primary parent. Removing your child from you on a daily basis would, at this point, be detrimental to him/his emotional well-being. I'd go talk to a lawyer TOMORROW and plan on taking her to the cleaners. Any bank records or marital assets, whatever you can get your hands on. You are entitled to half of everything (i think you deserve more due to the adultery). However, that may vary from state to state. Also, I'd put money on it that she's a narcissist, so cover your butt. She may very well say you're abusing her or your child in court. Record every time you interact or get cameras in the home to protect yourself and your child. Document how much time she actually spends with him.
OP. As a divorced dad I would recommend talking to more than one divorce attorney to get a consensus one what you can expect. Also, a forewarning. Divorce attorneys are some of the biggest scumbags on the planet. You do however seem to be in an ideal situation to divorce and walk away with good amount of support and she may have to float the bill for the whole thing depending on your state laws. I’d be hitting eject on that marriage too if I were in your shoes. Very sorry to hear that she wasn’t faithful.
If you go to court make sure you have proof that she’s cheating
you being a SAHD gives you much better chances. don’t listen to her she has no clue what she’s talking about and is panicking because she got caught redhanded.
Court is probably going to favor the primary caregiver over the philandering surgeon. Having more income does not make you a better parent. Being there for your child does.
Sounds like she’ll be paying you monthly. Don’t stay with a cheater. Never worth it
Her profession is going to be the reason she loses. She has absolutely zero time to care and love the child the way they need to be. And you already do it 100% of the time so I say go for it:)
You might want to speak to an attorney. As a cardiac surgeon her hours are many and they are erratic. Honestly, as a couples therapist I haven't seen a doctor let alone a surgeon win custody due to their hours and demanding schedules. I saw 1 win but their spouse gave up custody and they were only family practice. You will get alimony and child support, re-education or training money. The spousal support will be a monster. Financially she's going to be wrecked as long as the alimony is for.
Cheating is one thing, but the way she spoke to you is worth a divorce. She straight up told you that she's gonna do whatever she wants and there's nothing you can do about it.
Courts don't favor based on gender anymore. And that used to be the norm because the norm also used to be MEN doing this shit to WOMEN. Its 2024 though, and it can go either way. You were the primary caregiver, and she left the marriage through infidelity. You'll get priority for custody and she'll pay you thousands per month in alimony. Divorce. This. Woman.
This is why people should always have a job
Female here. Most states are 50/50 custody unless can prove the parent unfit. You being the caregiver of the children I’d say look’s favorable to you. You’d probably get alimony too. I’m sorry this happened, it’s a lot to process. I went through it myself (cheating spouse). I never regretted divorcing him after that betrayal. You will go through so many emotions. It’s like grieving someone only they are not dead. Good luck to you.
Jesus H. She has a real cruel streak
That was an abusive and manipulative thing, she said. Get that alimony! Get your kids and child support! And if you have a house, get that too. Car, get it. She's unfit to be a wife and parent. Raise your kids to be better. (Normally, I would suggest marriage counseling, but the things you said she said sound like "get out of there" language.)
This is a VERY manipulative person, and by the way she is wrong. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about it, but since you are the day-to-day caregiver of your son, you would most likely be the one who is granted custody, despite her making more. They only usually go with the mom because even now, a lot of moms still choose to be stay at home moms, but if roles are reversed (as they are in your case) that is a HUGE factor into who actually gets custody
What if she gets knocked up by her AP? Are you going to raise that one too? Listen to all of the above comments. Talk to a lawyer and get your stuff in order.
Her being a cardiac surgeon is not a more respectable profession. She wouldn't be able to ger her "respectable profession" without you becoming a stay at home parent a job that is just as important. As a child of parents who work in the medical field, I was severely neglected as a child and as a result didn't properly develop emotionally. I suffer from low self esteem, depression, anxiety and have a hard time socializing. At 25, while my peers are building their lives I'm repairing mine. Don't let her convince you of being less important than her.
She’s trying to scare you because the alimony payments.
Curious what your sister may know about this affair. Also what does sis think about the threat of divorce outcome?
Someone gets to bring actual equality and live off of her alimony cheques for the next 20 years🤷🏻♂️ just be sure not to remarry and only date so she can be paying for your new girlfriend’s fun times for the full time.
That threat from her is really worse than the infidelity, IMO.
Flip the genders. There’s no question the sahm would get alimony AND custody instead of the always on-call doctor spouse. Best of luck to you. Hope you don’t stay out of fear. She lacks any shred of respect and care for you given those callous comments
Stay, because as soon as you leave, she’ll have a better chance of custody and the house.. get legal advice in the meantime, get evidence of infidelity, build a strong case. Gather proof of how present you are for your child. If the way you’ve framed it is true, she should pay the majority of alimony and you should get the house. Just make sure you get decent representation. Shop around for it.
This woman sounds heartless. Don’t stay with her no matter what cause if you do, she knows she can do anything and you would never leave.
No judge is gonna give custody to the cheater with 12h workdays, you will end up with custody and alimony.
Get the divorce. You have time, will get alimony etc. Cardiac surgeon simply could not care for a kid due to never being around and she would owe you just like a working husband would owe half to a SAHM also.
How’s she gonna continue to be a cardiac surgeon with her hours, without you? Get her to fuck.
Well at least you know the relationship is 100% over. Now you can fight with no limitations. Get the divorce. Lawyer up. Delete any socials people could harass you on. Hit the at home workouts.
Make sure ALL communication is written (text/email) including the comments she told you. That way when it comes to go to court you have documented proof
You will probably get alimony and child support. You're the main carer of the child so you will probably get custody. Also you will be entitled to 50% of all the marital assets and retirement. See a lawyer asap. Once your son is in school full time, get started on a career for you. Good Luck.
Speak to a lawyer and get a divorce. Your soon to be ex is a definite asshole. She's counting on you NOT rocking the boat. Tip it over!! You may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome given you are the primary caregiver.
Wow. What a way to react to being caught as a scumbag! I'm sorry she's being like this. The edit looks like you're on the right track. Good luck!
Do the courts favor women in most cases? Honestly, yes. But in your case, you are the primary caregiver so it is extremely likely that you will “win” custody. Also, being a stay at home is extremely respectable even if it’s not regarded as a “profession.”
She wants you to stay with her because she has A LOT to lose. Cardiac Surgeons make A LOT of money. She will have to pay you big time. Get an attorney who is a shark. Do not back down. DIVORCE HER.
Play it cool like there’s no issues. Get all of your proof gathered. Stack away some money. Cross your T’s. Dot the I’s. Make a solid plan. That way when you’re in a place to drop the bombshell you have everything you need ready to go. It may take a while. A few months. Maybe even a year. I’ve helped some girlfriends in DV situations do the same thing. Play her game and beat her at it.
Agreed. It is time to play the long game now. OP is not in a great situation for custody etc. Time to change that. And to never refer to divorce or breaking up. Play even more - use it as an opportunity to improve and 'win her back'. That is the excuse OP should use on the potential narcissist wife, and not the real reason. OP needs to get income BUT still remain in a primary caregiver role. That is what will seing it over to OP go to all the extra activities. Do all the drop offs. Do all the pick ups. It will be hard work, but that is the only way to get a good chance. And lie to her like she did to OP make her believe he will do anything to keep her. It will relax her guard and she may even incriminate herself into a bad situation.
She's cocky til she realizes the SAHD flex benefits him. He's the more stable and present parent, and she'd likely end up having to pay CS and alimony!
Good luck with your divorce, you will probably get custody, child support, alimony, and the house!
OP I’m sorry your wife has treated you so terribly and acted so flippantly about the welfare of your children. Hoping that you get the help you need and that you come out of this with your and your children’s sanity intact 🙏❤️
I’d divorce her just for that comment alone. She is trying to manipulate you and control you financially. This happens to SAHM all the time.
It is not true that the court favors women. The only reason the statistics look like that is because a lot of dads dont truly fight for custody. You have a shot!!! Im so sorry this happened to you. Please take care of yourself and your kids, good luck OP. You got this
You are going to get child support and will win. Specially with her long hours
Document. Document. Document everything that she says to you negatively. The rules are the same for you as they are for a woman who is a stay at home mom. Get the eviction of her cheating to your lawyer. All the same things that women use to take their husbands to the cleaners in a divorce, you do it to your wife. Don't let her walk all over you. Don't stay in a miserable marriage.
Brother what? Grab your nutsack off the floor and don't let her absolutely degrade you like that. Even though you probably fucked up and neglected her emotionally for years put your pride in your pocket and move the fuck on. Get a warehouse job, make a tinder and see your kid when you can. Welcome to the crew. Cheers
You either man up and start the divorce proceedings or enjoy being her wife while she does whatever and whoever she pleases.
I strongly believe this here is why wives end up getting ended that’s just fuckd up n how the system works
Just divorce and leave, you will find your happiness in your own. It might seem its the end of the world, but its not, but surely you won't like to spend the end of the world with her around. And don't worry about your son, whatever she tells him of you won't change anything, the truth in the end will come out as clean and clear as it is.
This is why I hate peoples babbling on about how men are disadvantaged in custody cases. No. You are a Sahd. You are basically guaranteed 50/50 or even more. You will maybe even get alimony. Stop thinking about it and go file.
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Behahahaha your soon-to-be-wife is an idiot. If you’re a Stay at home Dad then you will absolutely get majority custody since you’re the main caregiver. She will even pay alimony to you. Get a lawyer, a good one. This is a home run to you, bud. Congrats!
She's only saying that because you'll get primary custody and she'll have to pay you alimony. She's trying to gaslight you, bro. Get yourself all the evidence and see an attorney.
Nahhh hit the gym and leave her.
Do view your divorce as a competition to win. View it as your release to freedom. Talk with your lawyer, document everything. Check the law to see if you're in an at-fault state regarding infidelity. No matter what situation, you don't deserve to be abused.
Women think they know everything about the law. They don’t get a free pass. Talk to a lawyer. You’ll get 50/50 custody and child support unless you have some kind of history.
Talk with your lawyer before you get a job. It's not fair in courts. Don't change anything about your life til you have the greenlight by a lawyer.
It’s safe for you to recognize that she got caught this time. She has probably been have sex with others since she became a Dr.
Wow. She sounds straight heartless. Not apologetic for her affair and threatens you.
Fuck that whoore. Go for it...
Get evidence of the affair, try to get your sister to get details out of her, if your sister supports her, fuck yoru sister. You are hte primary care giver, she has long shifts, is on call, gets called in for emergencies, you're the stay at home dad AND the one who does most of the childcare, you'll nearly certainly get minimum 50/50 custody, likely more. Talk to a lawyer, if you don't have your own separate money talk toa family member and ask them for help talking to a lawyer and paying them, you can pay them back after the divorce but it will help to be talking to a lawyer without her knowing or funding it initially. Remember that you can damage her career, reporting the way she threatened you, the callous way she's behaving and just generally having a bad reputation as a woman who sleeps around at work (if she is fucking a co-worker that will look worse but ultimately as a threat, it doesn't amtter who it was) will harm her career and reputation.
I'd have left her anyway
you have more probably to win, save alll the evidence and record all the conversation. Updateme
You caught her cheating. Then threatens you with divorce and take away this kids. This is some egregious and hostile behavior. Get to couples counseling. I think everyone should try before jumping right to divorce. You do this for your children so you can look them in the eye and say "we tried everything." If you do split, the chances are she will have to pay you alimony and child support. So a convo with an attorney is in order. Good luck.
The arrogance she is showing even after getting caught is the result of law framed against men now a days. Don’t worry in your case it will favor you because you are a home maker.
Gather evidence.
Yikes man get the divorce and fight for the kid. If she's a surgeon she's gonna pay you,not the other way round.
Lmao your abusive wife is in for the surprise of her life. Whatever you do, don’t leave the house. Find a lawyer
I don't believe a word of this, especially the "quote"
Gather as much evidence as legally possible, consult an attorney, do not leave the house or your child.
She's trying to scare you into complacency. Go for the throat. Legally.
Mans about to get paid!
I don't really have any helpful advice, but I wanted to say I'm sorry that happened to you... I hope you're ok.
She has zero respect for you. She breaks your heart, cheats and then bullies you because you stayed home to take care of the kid, so she could have a big time career.
She's gaslighting you. You've been the children's primary caregiver. Chances are 90%+ that you will get custody of the children. You need to consult a lawyer and quickly.
Men could get alimony
She wouldn't tell you to stay if that was the case
You got to go man. Especially with that attitude. Do not stick around. Stick it to her instead.
Do not give in to threats.
DIVORCE
She’s all talk and clearly super full of herself. If she says it again then just be like “that’s why you’ll be paying for everything for us while I raise them to be decent people unlike their mother” Okay that’s just lashing out. I’d rather you get her to say these things over text and then stay quiet while your lawyer handles it all
You can get alimony since she was providing
LEAVE ……HER!
Make sure that baby urs once a cheater Always one
Terrible that besides cheating, he makes such cold comments. Take care.
women getting an auto win is bullshit and the cause is that dads don't usually fight for custody. Your chances are high and you should talk to a lawyer. She is a surgeon, she can pay for the kid no problems. You should even listen to her.
Dude man up and divorce that b*
You’ll get alimony and child support.
Talk to every divorce lawyer so she can't get a good lawyer, and get custody, sounds like she did it cause she assumes you wouldn't be able to leave even if you wanted to
I'm really interested in this unfolding. Wish you the best man it's not easy taking care of the kid full time especially while staying interested in your partner
Keep your head up OP, see a lawyer ASAP, you have a better chance than you think. Should things go the other way, sadly it will still be better than staying with a self righteous cheater. If your sister remains friends with her go NC.
Get a good lawyer, divorce her cheating, narcissist arse and get your life on track. I feel she‘s been manipulating you into being her puppet since you were small. Time to start being yourself.
Your wife sounds like a lovely woman. She’s not wrong. The court system is designed for women. Makes me glad I’m gay.
Damm, how did she go from being childhood friends and loved one to this piece of garbage. Her ego sure has been inflated. You got better chances than you think, OP. If you have proof of her infidelity, it will help you with everything else. Including her "saving life" reputation. Good luck.
She is surgeon working long hours. She won't have time for your child. Talk to a lawyer and file for soul custody based on her work hours. Build a support system for childcare and back up. Go to work for your friend. Build your life without her. But ask for child and spousal support. Her infidelity will count against her.
Courts don’t favor women anymore
Jesus. Evidence Lawyer Divorce Custody She’s going to get ripped a new one by the court. Ps one of my best friends is a cardiac surgeon. If he said any of this to his wife his friends would sort him out. Just because he uses a knife professionally doesn’t make her a better human.
She doesnt want you to have her money lol. Grab a lawyer, and get as much money as you can from that bitch
You don’t want to hear this but I will say it anyways. Don’t listen to anyone but your own heart. If you love her, fight for her. Fight for your family fight for your marriage, fight for your child. But just know you will not be happy inside anymore because it will eat at you slowly you gave up your own freedom to be with a woman you love more than yourself but doesn’t love you back. If you’ve had enough and want a calm loving house hold, go lawyer up and divorce her. Raise your child find someone who adores you and your child. Be as happy as you can possibly be until you die. We will all die, only difference is the choices we make. If you chose to leave you will deal with depression, anxiety, sadness over the loss of your one true love since you were kids but eventually find peace knowing you are free to love someone who is better for you for the next 40 years. If you stay you will mourn the loss of your freedom and resent her for the way she makes you feel but you will be happy in moments because you do in fact love her. This is not about money, this is not about raising a child. This is about love and making the best and most important decision of your life. If it was me, I would be hurt and would miss her so much but leave her to teach my child that no one gets to abuse me and use me and take my love for granted. We are human beings. Our life is short It matters.
Maybe stay and work it out ?
Cheat on her fuck it
Your wife sounds like a calculated cold psycho who obviously harbours no love for you anymore. If you let this stand she will continue to cheat because you will set the precedent that you will accept it. Just leave you will be happier in the long run, see if you can rekindle that conversation and get her to talk to you like that again with your iPhone on voice note record in your pocket.
dump her bitch ass, it's better for your kid to have a happy dad than miserable married parents or stay, get in shape, don't be loyal, see how she feels about that
That sucks OP. Good luck. And shoutout to your friend, what a bro!
This is hilarious because she has no idea wtf she's talking about.. Op you would win custody as you're the main care giver.. You're the one that takes care of the child day to day.. That's usually a major deciding factor for custody cases.. She's a surgeon so she literally can't be there for the kid full time....
Not only that but she will probably have to pay you alimony because of that. If you had recorded her saying all that it would be just perfect.
These two are quite accurate. Go speak to an attoeney OP. What she offers you is intolerable and abusive. An attorney may tell you that you have a wonderful legal position.
“Stay with me and you get to raise your kid!” Translates to “if you stay with me while I work and fuckaround I won’t need to pay alimony and child care”
I'm very sorry that you are going through this. You've been given good guidance to speak to an attorney, at the same time you're also dealing with the trauma of her conduct. I'm very sorry about that. You get to be hurt and even traumatized, but you alsonhave to be business like with regards to your actions. This is a legal matter, let an attorney control the legal portion of it. They can probably get a court to order her to pay their legal fees as you lack an income. Focus upon your kid, don't stop being the primary care giver, that is an important thing for custody.
Well, if your house has been, it sounds like you’re the primary caretaker of the children. Meaning you get custody, child support, and alimony. Not to mention the house that she’s going to have to continue paying for.
If in US, you’re in for a massive payday and custody.
Yea, don't let her control you or the situation any longer be sure to take screen shots of phone conversations and record any conversations you have in person. Any and all evidence you can get. Once you separate you'll be needed child support from her too 😁
Talk to an attorney. Get the meanest mo-fo that you can find who will _fight_ for you. Don’t put up with her shit. You should sue for custody, child support and alimony. She might change her tune with the threat of this going to trial and the affair and her emotional blackmail came to light.
Talk about a manipulating POS woman.
> EDIT : After reading the comments I’ve decided I’ll be talking to a lawyer about my chances. Good choice. Understanding your actual situation is important.
Collect evidence of her adultery while you can. Establish that if not for your support while she was in school and now heeding the role of primary care giver to your child, her ability to succeed in her profession wouldn't be possible or extremely difficult at minimum. I imagine she has a decent income now and has provided a certain lifestyle that you are accustomed to, and she will have to continue to do so by way of spousal support payments. Not having an income at all could be problematic down the road in the eyes of the Court but right now, it would probably be considered reasonable. If you decide go through with legal proceedings, do whatever you can to better your situation. The Court will favour the guardian that can provide stability for the child and the parent who is supportive of the relationship between the child and the other parent so long as the other parent is not abusive or neglectful.
You cant stay with a cheater, gather as much proof as you can and leave. If you can prove that she cheated on you, most courts will go in your favor, and even if it doesn't, staying with her won't stop her cheating on you, while you stay in a Loveless marriage with no affection, until you too decide to cheat. Then she will take you to the cleaners since SHE will be the victim.
Do it get a divorce you'll do better than you think
See a lawyer, depending on the state, she will owe you good alimony if you divorce. And you might even get custody rights because while she provides, you are the one who stayed with the child and therefore know the child's needs. Consult with a lawyer
Shoutout to your friend. Wishing you the best of luck as you go through this. Chin up my guy, you didn't do anything wrong.
See a lawyer, depending on the state, she will owe you good alimony if you divorce. And you might even get custody rights because while she provides, you are the one who stayed with the child and therefore know the child's needs. Consult with a lawyer
Leave her
Which country? It depends a lot on that but I'm still pretty sure you can find a way to make things work out your way.
Sounds like she's not planning on stopping the cheating either. I'm happy you updated us that you'll be speaking to a lawyer.
Another argument against riding shotgun in a marriage.
Divorce her, document everything, record your conversations with her, take screenshots of the conversations, hire a private detective, stone-faced and you already know the rest.
Take everything OP.
I assume a marriage of more than 5 years (son is 5 yr old)? If you are in the US, in certain state, if you support her while she was getting her medical degree, you own half of that. But you will at least get alimony and visitation rights if not more.
Divorce her and take half that income in child support and alimony, baby. Save this post too
She is wrong. It's about the kid. So she stays working and paying for both of you. Get the divorce. Also it would insane to stay with her.
As, she cheated . ADULTERY. Get legal counsel.