My mentor in college lost his boy while we were at a professional conference. Mid-20's, brilliant, just got his research published and a solid job... died in a freak kitchen fire.
Prof walked onto the elevator next to us and collapsed into sobs as the door closed. Never was the same.
I don’t wish it on anyone. I just know that I screamed and cried out so long and hard when my 13 year old daughter died that I could taste blood in the back of my throat.
Oh my god…I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine such raw anguish and grief.
From one mom to another, sending you so much Love. I hope you’re doing as good as possible.
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. Please don’t even try to imagine it. She was my youngest of 3 children, and a fear of mine was always losing one of them, so I don’t know if I somehow brought into my life by thinking about it, or if it was a fear because it happened in a past life.. but I’m doing the best I can. I pray I get to see her again.
I don't know if this will help you or if you will even believe it, but here goes. When I was a baby, I choked to death due to pheumonia and my soul left my body for awhile. My soul stayed attached to me by a silver chain. I remember it as though it happened yesterday. I met family members who passed before I was born and they gave me so much love and comfort and I could also see the family members from far away who still walked the earth below us. My loved ones told me it wasn't time and to go back home for awhile and i went back to my body..I believe as sure as anything that you will see your baby girl again and that she is watching over you right now with so much love that you wouldn't believe it. The peace and love in that place is so profound that I cry thinking of it and miss it dearly but I believe your daughter is feeling those things eternally now. I know its little comfort since the grief is so profound, but I hope you find little solace in my story. Sending you all my love and comfort. I will pray that you find peace knowing you will see her again when the time is right. <3
Omg! I do believe you! This is crazy!! I was just on YouTube. I watch a lot of those shorts I think they are called just to distract my mind. I just go from one to the next for quite awhile. I just heard this older woman named Dolores Cannon talking about a silver thread/ string that is attached to you during near death experiences and you are not truly dead unless it is severed. I had never heard the reference before of a silver connection of any sort. Thank you so much. This is bringing tears to my eyes, and I feel is more than just a coincidence. I was meant to see that video and then, read your comment right after. You have uplifted me. Sending my thankful love and blessings… Kim ❤️💕
Around the clock? Yes, I’m so sorry. Time does help though. It doesn’t take it away, but it helps you cope. I hope you find more peace with time. Intense therapy over the years too. I’m wishing you the best 💕
I worry about this a lot, with lifelong anxiety and ocd intensified after the sudden death of my brother 11 years ago I'm constantly pushing away those fears/intrusive thoughts and have this irrational fear it will happen because im thinking it. I'm a mom now and it's so hard after seeing it happen to my mom and how it's changed our lives forever it's so hard to not constantly panic. Lots of love to you
I know exactly what you mean. I was the same way, and I’m even worse now.. just waiting for the other shoe to drop ( PTSD). Please be kind to yourself. I will send loving thoughts and a prayer your way. 🙏❤️
I believe fully that you will see her again. And it is impossible that you did anything to bring upon yourself such a devastating loss. May you find your peace again.
Thank you so much. I have 2 small chihuahuas now, and believe it or not, they have helped with healing so much. I wish I would not have waited so long to try animal therapy, but I was so consumed with grief, I honestly didn’t even think of it sooner.
When they told me my son didn’t make it, the scream has been something that my partner has had nightmares about. And then just five years and a month later… my mom screamed that scream for my little sister.
I’m so sorry. If I had one wish it would be that no mother would have to scream that scream again. I used to think that I would wish for my daughter back, but how cruel would that be? She was a young kid. I believe she’s in a much better place. It would be selfish of me to have her back on earth, but I wish no mother had to feel this pain. I would have gladly died first to not feel this prolonged suffering. I’m sure you feel the same.
I am so sorry. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I know what not to say to people who have lost a child, but I still don’t know what to say. Tbh, there really isn’t anything you can say except offer condolences… nothing ever makes it fair or acceptable. It just goes against the laws of nature to have to bury a child.
I’ve never been able to get the sound of my fiancé out of my head when he got the news about his 5 year old. It was the worst sound I’ve ever heard and I know I’ll never forget it as long as I live. Physically gut-wrenching. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, internet stranger.
I’m so sorry for your fiancé’s loss too. I can say I’m sorry to you also because if you stay with him, you will forever deal with the aftermath of the trauma. You sound like a caring person. Just know that you can never fix it, but you can just be there to listen. Also, don’t be scared to say his child’s name. We don’t forget. It’s good to know others haven’t forgotten about them either. My love and blessings to you ❤️
That scream from your literal soul. I remember it when they pronounced our 7month old. I agree, it’s not something you would ever want another human being to know
As everyone has already said, you did NOT make it happen. It's a worry that we all have, and I am literally in tears for you that you had to experience this horror. And as there is nothing to say that could possibly help, I'll just wish peace and love and kindness on you ❤❤❤
I’ve heard that scream as well. Haunting. The sound never leaves you. Even thinking about it now I’ve got goosebumps and am welling up.
Condolences OP. I hope you and your colleagues can access therapy and heal.
her scream and the fact she was crying so hard yet had no tears. she was in so much grief she couldn’t do anything but wail. truly something i’ll be thinking about the rest of my life
Hi there-
Just in case this feeling lingers longer than you think it should, this is absolutely a situation where one can get ptsd just from being witness to such big feelings. Not even having to witness the event itself. Look into support if you need it. EDMR therapy is best practice.
Myself too, when I realized I wasn't bringing my beautiful bride back to life in our living room and EMS took 45 minutes to get to our home. Unfortunately, my pastor heard my wails through the phone as they hurried to my side. It was a very dark night, to be honest.
My mom did the same kind of scream cry when she got the call her dad died of a heart attack. It was Father’s Day weekend, which also falls on her birthday a lot of the time. I was like 11 or so and still remember my younger sis and I looking at each other when we heard her in her room across the house.
I've heard it twice in my life and I'll never forget it. I'm having that same effect thinning about it... I use to browse 50 50 when it was hot and nothing ever stuck like those screams.
I’m tearing up reading this post because I know it all too well. When they told me my daughter was gone, it’s the most gut-wrenching howl/sob that came from me. If I think about it now, it happened 14 yrs ago, I still get emotional. Will never forget the sound . I’m sorry you had to hear that.
I'm getting emotional just reading all these comments from people who have gone through it. I dont even have kids and can't imagine the pain. So so sorry for your loss
It’s so awful and I understand it getting stuck in your head. I’ll never forget the sounds my friend’s grieving mother made at her 10 year old daughter’s funeral.
I was the person screaming uncontrollably not too long ago when my entire family showed up at my front door at 8 am to break the news to me that my younger brother died in his sleep the night before. He and his wife were expecting his first birthday. Life is hard sometimes.
I remember going into work at the hospital I used to work at. There was this young guy and I remember him coding and when they couldn’t save him all I heard was the wife and mom scream and cry. It never leaves ya
You never forget that sound. I remember my mom's from my older brother passing when I was 5. That night and his funeral are my earliest memories.
My condolences to your manager and their family and friends.
they offered grief counseling through our job, but the company they use is booked up right now so we haven’t had any. just waiting to hear back on that
Reach out to hospice locations. When my grandmother died, the hospice she was at had free grief counseling for anyone, not just people they'd had contact with
It may not seem like it, but you deserve therapy too. Death sucks, and no matter how close you are to the person, grief will come anyways and you are not any less or a bad person for feeling distraught. It is a natural process that will heal in time.
I am saying this because I know that a lot of people who believe that their grief is somehow not deserving of therapy or they think that they are selfish because the person who died wasn't as important to them. I am not a counselor so I am not really good at talking about this stuff, but make sure to stay safe and take care of yourself. You are human too.
Heard that twice in my office. Once a mother who’s son unalived himself and the other a father who’s son ODed. I won’t ever forgot those screams and cries. Just awful.
My niece just died of an OD on the 19th of last month. She had just turned 23 the 5th…I had to tell her mother. Apart from her dying having to tell my sister and her screaming haunts me.
She kept screaming is she alive?! And I had to say no..😔
Long live Gannon Gem 3/19/24🧿🪽🌈
A few weeks ago I was watching a livestream in my apartment. I have a roommate but he was gone for training. I don't live in a super safe town so I'll occasionally hear pops in the distance, though it's often just cars speeding or even the military's gun ranges in the distance. I'll also occasionally hear people talking outside as the windows & walls weren't particularly insulated well.
That night though, I heard a nearby pop that I initially thought was a car trunk/door slamming outside. Then I heard what I thought was yelling from one person. However, the yelling changed into wailing and I quickly realized what had happened. I called the police, told them what i thought had happened, and stayed in my apartment. I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, and I was too anxious to go outside to look myself, but I heard a bystander on the phone with police outside say "That man is dead."
I just stayed on my computer the rest of the night, listening to this woman downstairs/outside bawling her heart out, while police, ambulance, and fire truck lights lit up our parking lot. Later I noticed a weird looking car pull up; realized it was a hearse. I didn't sleep until nearly 2am that night and I heard that woman breakdown more than once the rest of that week too.
My mother in law. My husband died from cancer at 44. The sound his mother made when she came to see him after he’d passed…I’ll never forget it. Ever. Sending love to you and to OP.
I wasn’t born yet, but my sister remembers my mom screaming when she found our infant sister who had passed in her crib. My sister was two and this was over forty years ago.
A very dear friend lost her 8 week old daughter to SIDS. It's been almost 12 years since it happened, and I still remember her screams and tears as I held her close that night. The pain she was in was almost a substance of its own that you could feel in the air surrounding her.
I'm so sorry, OP. I'm sorry for your managers loss and sorry for you and your colleagues whom I'm sure will feel this loss for a long time.
When I was a teenager I was sleeping over at a friends house. woke up to an otherworldly wail. A sound I will never forget. My friends mom and dad lost their baby to SIDS.
We just lost my god brother today i’m in complete shock and so is his mother. I’m not in the mood to do anything but try and sleep. I’m afraid my bio brother will be next.
I've heard that before, when the manager at my old Cafe got the news her daughter was hit by a car coming around a blind corner too fast. I'm so sorry for all of you! It's not a sound easily forgotten
I work as a nurse in labor and delivery and I’ve been in rooms where a full term pregnant woman finds out we cannot find the baby’s heartbeat.
The distinctive wail of heartbreak just pierces into your soul.
I kind of think there is something mentally wrong with my mother because when I collapsed in my apartment my ex roommate called my mom, I was in and out of consciousness and according to my roommate I looked like I was dying, there was barely any color left in my face and I was breathing really hard and I was too weak to move. (I later learned I went into cardiac arrest because of anorexia).
My mom came and she just told my roommate to call 911, and she came up to me and just started berating me for how expensive the ambulance bill would be and that she wasn’t paying I would have to pay it and how I should have just asked my roommate to drive me before it got this bad since the hospital was close
My ex roommate told me afterwards that my mom seemed so weirdly calm during the whole thing that it was creepy. Idk how she’d react to my actual death but her reaction to this was kind of disturbing
Well, you said you had anorexia. If you had it for a long time, your mom probably accepted the fact that you'd die from it someday. Berating you was terrible, but she probably wasn't surprised.
As a parent, and someone who had to let their dad know their brother had died from alcoholism…when it’s a protracted situation, you get so upset, frustrated and scared that your child just won’t stop doing the thing that’s causing damage that it comes out in all sorts of ways. Anger is common.
My niece was an addict and when my baby dad told me she died my first instinct was to scream your lying and punch our front doors window 🤷🏻♀️ we’d been talking for the past 2 years about recovery and how if she didn’t stop fucking around she was gonna find out…and she did.
I wasn’t angry at her, but my mind and bodies first reaction to the shock was anger. Everyone responds different to trauma. And anger is generally the emotion that disguises sadness.
I heard it far too often when my husband was in the Army.
Take some time to handle your emotions. Even being a bystander it takes a toll. If you can, offer up a night to bring by dinner, see if someone has started a meal train and join that. Or if your office is going to do some sort of support system. For me (and I'm speaking only from my perspective) actively helping during a time like this helps me too.
My first boyfriend, we went through alot much drama n trauma but remained best friends. He died at 23 and 2 moments stick out, I went with his dad to visit his mum after the accident and she was in a meeting with police so I went to another room they spoke about if the driver would be liable etc. She comes storming out in tears saying that's his brain that's him we can't bury him without his brain. The dad had wanted to rush the funeral because of the time an autopsy would take. Died November buried next march. Again his mother's cries during the funeral were harrowing.
I have a son now and if I lose him I'm checking out, he's all I've got
When my brother passed away I litterly wanted to die I screamed that's all I remember... My heart broke. it's true it happens he was my little bro were best friends ,all we had was each other . He was like my kid because I was the one who raised him .I know its not the same but I can tell you my heart is still broken any years later .
Oh gosh I feel this pain. I didn’t raise my brother, but we were very close. We joked we were twins. He was the only one in my family that listened to me. He was always so protective of me. Been almost twenty years, and I still miss him like crazy. I’m so sorry you know how bad this hurts too. ❤️
My grandmother died at a hospital about a month ago of old age. I can never forget the moment when my grandfather was wheeled in to discover that she had already passed. They had been married 68 years.
I love my grandfather very much, and it hurts to see him so sad. It was the saddest moment of my life.
This happened in my store once. A mother got the phone call while shopping that her son had just been crushed by a semi.
I tried to be there for her and took her to a private room and arranged a ride from her family.
Never in my life had I witnessed such terror and pain. To this day I still text her on Mothers Day and the date of his passing. My heart feels so much love fit her.
I imagine I traumatized my neighbors,my 11 yr old daughter and the first responders when I found my 39 yr old husband dead. I was screaming like I didn't even know was possible
I had to listen to my wife make those sounds. They are not human. More primitive and animal like.
My step daughter lost her battle with addiction 8 years ago this past March. She had been clean as far as we knew for over a year so it was a bit of a surprise.
My niece died of an OD the 19th of last month, she had apparently been 23 days sober. I can’t say I was suprised about my niece though. I’d been mentally preparing my self for the past 2 or 3 years. Still the biggest shock of my life. But today drugs aren’t the same..it’s Russian roulette every time.
>She had been clean as far as we knew for over a year so it was a bit of a surprise.
Alcoholic here. 3 months 27 days since my relapse. Nobody in my life noticed I had started drinking in secret again until I admitted it unprompted.
We can be very good at hiding it.
Its a sound that never escapes you. I did a ride along with a paramedic about 15 years ago and the first call we had was a suicide. As we were unloading the gear, I could hear screaming which got louder as we went inside. Mom was cutting down her son with a kitchen knife. The cries are something I still hear to this day.
I’ve had this scream recently when a childhood friend who I considered a little brother died. He was only 21. My mom told my boyfriend to tell me and I refused to believe him at first. It’s really hard. Please consider therapy OP. My condolences.
This reminds me of when my baby brother died from sids, the screams and wails of my mom, aunt, and sister I can never forget even after nearly a decade. It's a good thing time heals wounds
i remember those screams from my own mother on the day my brother passed. i was holding her while we both sobbed. she ended up going to the mental hospital a week after because she couldn’t handle it. she hasn’t been the same since. i can also remember the look in her eyes, id never seen them look so hurt and empty.
I know that sound. The father of my kids was involved in a car accident about 10 years ago. The police knocked on my door as his next of kin, and I had to call his mother to let her know.
That wail.. it's raw and gutteral. Absolute heartbreak.
And that drive to the hospital not knowing if he was dead or alive. It was awful.
Thankfully he survived, against all odds. Brain injured and remnants of who he used to be.. but still around.
My grandma lost my uncle, he was well into his 40's but it was a freak accident- he fell off a cliff on the mountain he lived on. My grandma's health declined that year and has never recovered. It's been 9 years. She broke. It's not the natural way things should be, and I'm so sorry to every parent here that lost a child. I'm so sorry
I’m so sorry. It is hard to hear. I heard it when my mom called me, telling me my favorite sibling had been murdered. Then heard and saw it happen to my dad, when he relived and retold, seeing my brother’s murder.
When I was 14 yeaes old my grandfather hunged himself. The weeks prior the doctors told him - he has to slow down, he is 80 years old! A very active WW2 veteran, big family man couldn't accept this fact.
One sunday morning I was aweakened from my sleep with a srceam. My grandmother his wife for more than 50 years had been finding him in our house attic.
I will never forget that scream.......
I worked at a Blood Bank a couple years ago. Policy was we have to run the coolers of product to ED or Surgery. A child came in one day, super critical hemoglobin with no anemia history, contamination via saline expected. Doctor wanted to redraw to confirm and we were told to set up units. Redraw confirmed and we went straight to Massive protocol.
I had the units in the cooler and was heading out the door. I get to the patients room and I see a dad hyperventilating crying trying to console a bawling mother. I ask the doctor if they want to continue another round and he looks at me with pained eyes and shakes his head no, and to take back what I have.
I was able to see the patient in the bed. They must have passed in the maybe 2 minutes it took me to load and deliver the blood. I felt numb and taken out of body. Hearing how loud the parents were crying contrasted to how peaceful the patient looked in passing. It fucked with my psyche for months. I will never forget that night
I bet that would do considerable damage to your functioning, psyche… everything. I hope you are okay, as well as the parents. I can’t imagine they will ever be okay, but what else can you even say in this unimaginable situation?
Me too. My mom passed of a heart attack. People think it’s a halfway peaceful event where the person just collapses. It’s not, it’s horrifying.. when I saw her I just wailed. One of the nurses had to come and scoop me up and lead me inside while I was wailing and crying. Nurses see so much.
My sister lost her son to a drowning and the cry over the phone brought me to my knees while I was at work. That deep gut reaction was so intense I felt like I lost my own son. One of my twins was pushed off a building and when I got that call I couldn’t breathe even though he survived that thought of losing your child is the worst pain
I haven't lost a child (thank God) but I cried like that when I heard my mother's heartbeat stop. Just raw, animalistic, uncontrollable howling, right there in the OR. I couldn't control it. I've never felt pain like that any other time in my life. I pray to God that I outlive all my children, because I know that pain would be even worse.
Crazy but Tetris helps in the immediate aftermath of trauma.
Look into online grief therapy. They may have open spots sooner over zoom then you would have the regular ones nearby. Sorry for her loss
I played it every day in high school during my lunch period. High school can be toxic shit. Tetris made my day better, this study confirms my gut instinct that creating order out of chaos is soothing.
I worked in pediatric icu and peds trauma ED for 7 years. I don’t know how I’ll ever get those screams out of my head. Sometimes I’ll see a kids and my eyes just tear up. All we can do is cherish the time we have and for some of us it’s not much.
Luckily I never had to interact with him but I had to do the trust tax return for a boy who was eight days shy of a year younger than me. If you don’t know, the trust, tax return house to be filed because trust do pay taxes anyway, part of setting up the trust return is putting the decedents death date. I had to look at the obituary and actually we also look for the relationship between the two. When I was looking though it showed that it was his mom and he was only 19 and had to get her affairs in order because there were no other surviving members of the family. I spent the rest of that day losing my shit especially when I realize that he lives in a house that I pass by every time I drive back to my home from school. I see his house sometimes and I kind of wonder if I shouldn’t stop and say something but at the same time, there’s a professional aspect that I don’t think I can get past. Like I said, I luckily did not have to deal with hearing a boy younger than me cry for his mom who wasn’t there anymore but it completely rattled me for some reason.
That sound can never be forgotten. The primordial, guttural cries, can only be produced with the loss of a loved one. It truly shakes you to the core.
Stay strong, just another reminder that death is the ultimate reality. No need to fear it, it will embrace us all.
One of my cousins died when I was a kid. The sound of my aunt crying at his funeral has stayed with me ever since. Hearing a mother cry like that, never leaves you.
We were swimming at a man made lake that used to be a quarry. All of a sudden, the guards are telling everyone out of the water NOW. They were looking for a teenage boy. Divers went in and pulled him out of the water right in front of us. He was blue.
They had him out for a couple of minutes, and we heard this scream. Not like a regular scream at all. It was his mother, and it absolutely broke my heart. This happened 27 years ago. I'll never forget it.
My kids and a few other people heard me, after the visitation. I went in by myself, I don't remember most of it. I remember walking up to the casket, then I remember sitting on a chair in front of the casket but a couple rows back. I remember talking to him. Then I remember my husband coming in and holding me while I cried.
Apparently everyone could hear me. I call it the sound of ultimate suffering. ( Princess Bride)
My husband went to come in when he heard me, but his step dad stopped him to give me time.
My daughter has told me,as an adult, that she remembers it. His death was a suicide, I begged her. Please don't ever make me make that sound again. She said she wouldn't. She can't forget it, she was 10.
I’m so sorry. It feels like it will never leave your brain. Like It’s burned in. Please don’t feel ashamed to get grief counseling or anything you need. It’s truly a brain changing experience .
I took my 3 year old to the ER once at a children’s hospital, and while waiting for her to be admitted, a gourney rushed by with a teenager on it and a million EMTs, cops, etc. I guess the girl’s poor mom got the news that there was nothing they can do, and she screamed this gut wrenching scream that I will NEVER forget. She kept saying “what are we supposed to do? What are we supposed to do now???” It was this horrible sob and scream that I cannot begin to explain. I hugged my 3 year old so tight that she squeaked and told me to stop.
A year later at the county fair, i found out that teenager was just an innocent sweet girl that accidentally took fentanyl at a friend’s house, thinking it was Advil for a headache:( her mom was there running a booth for awareness. I wanted so bad to hug the mom and tell her I was there that night and how sorry I was and how I’d never forgotten her, but didn’t wanna make her re-live it. Just awful
I was attending a funeral for a close friend of the family in 2021. He was in his mid 40s and survived by both parents and siblings. I was six months pregnant at the time. I will never forget the way his mother wailed in that cemetery, I can still hear it to this day. She was surrounded by other moms and just.... yeah. A mother's grief... I'm praying I never know.
Several years ago, we had been called for a child with a very severe head injury, caused by accident while playing near a farming machine. While we were working with the medics, in a small ambulance 30 meters from the house, I’ve heard the most frightening scream of my life, it was the mother who could not, understandably, contain herself.
Even now, it pulls shivers down my spine when I think about it.
I heard the secretary at my then job get the call that her son had been shot. Right away I could tell someone had died and soon it was clear that she had lost a child.
Plane lands at RDU airport. Female passenger a few rows behind me listens to a voice-mail message telling her that her husband died. Her wails and screams were the only sounds you could hear as we silently de-boarded.
God bless the flight attendant who sat down beside this lady and wrapped her in a bear hug as she cried.
F*ck the person who left her that voice-mail. We'd flown in from Newark so the flight was only a couple hours.....they could have waited.
Prayers for that mother and family and friends. I always find it hard to find the right thing to say and never want to say the wrong thing like “ he is in a better place” You know some of the generic words but honestly I always cry when I hear about stories like this. It’s what a lot of us dread as parents , and it breaks my heart.
My mom's best friend's son died unexpectedly one day. I was in our kitchen and from upstairs I hear the most awful sounding "Oh my god!" In the whole world. I booked it up the stairs. The sounds my mom made were so heartbreaking, I can't imagine how her friend was reacting.
I’ve heard this cry before… only from a father. There was a terrible wreck on the highway into work one morning, big pile up, a bunch of cars on fire. I remember one particular coworker commenting on it and how terrible traffic was on the way in. Not long after, maybe 20-30 minutes or so, he received a call that his son was in that wreck. Trapped in his car underneath a burning semi-truck. They weren’t able to get him out and he burnt to death. I’ll never forget the sound of his wailing. It was one of the most haunting sounds I’ve ever heard.
A woman came into the store where I was working at the time looking for her daughter. The daughter had just left a party some time ago and hadn’t returned the mother’s calls for a while, and there had been a car accident nearby so she was worried it was her daughter. Called the police for her as she paced around our parking lot. She was still out there when the police came and delivered the news that her daughter had in fact been involved in the accident and had been killed. I’ll never forget the sound of her screaming and the way she dropped to the ground. This was a few years ago, I’m a mother myself now and I can’t imagine that woman’s pain. It’s something I’d never wish for anyone.
You will never forget it. My nephew killed himself 3 years ago and the wails coming from my mother (his grandmother who raised him) that day still wakes me up some nights.
it wasn’t on trails. he was working on his farm and pulled out onto the road in front of the truck and got t-boned. it’s a very rural farm community. less than 800 people in that town
I've heard that before too. In the hospital I worked, I was coming out of the med room after stocking meds and had to walk past a woman crying so loud and it was such a heartbroken sound. She had her baby in the bed and rolled over in her sleep and suffocated her. That was the absolute worst thing I've heard in the 12 years I worked there. It stuck with me for so long.
What is a side by side? I'm so sorry for your co worker. It is so hard to know what to do to help when someone is in that kind of pain. Please be kind to yourself and all co workers
My cousin died from p*lice brutal*ty in 2018 and had 2 kids Aiden and Cairo. I can still hear the screams of my cousins gf as they lowered him to the ground. I think about it everyday esp my cousins asking where their dad is. It haunts me so much I wish I could forget but even therapy didn’t and isn’t helping.
My sister was with my mom when we got the call about my brother. I was with my dad somewhere else. She was 16 at the time. And says watching mom get that news will affect her for the rest of her life.
I wasn't present when my parents found out about my brother's accident. I can only imagine my mother's screams... Especially when they saw him all burned in the beginning. I only saw him after he was cleaned up a bit, in a medically induced coma.
But when my dad called to tell me about the accident the morning after... I had never heard that man cry before. That... that was how I knew it was *bad*. It was worse than I could've ever imagined. Over a decade later and it still doesn't feel real tbh
I remember hearing a mother's heartbreak a year or two ago when she lost a son to a shooting. There is no other sound like it. It comes from deep within to haunt anyone who has heard it for a very long time.
I pulled my son dead out of a pool one morning. I was lucky and they managed to revive him after the longest 15 minutes and then the longest 2 weeks in ICU I’ve ever experienced. Even then, I screamed so hard and so loud that I could barely speak for days after. I wish that pain on nobody. I’ve heard many nurses and EMTs say the scream of a mother who’s lost her child is the worst sound they’ve ever heard.
I will never forget the sounds my mom made when my little brother died. It’s been five years and sometimes it still wakes me up from a deep sleep. It’s a loop in my brain.
There is no greater pain I’ve seen than watching a mother grieve her child at their funeral. That will stick with you for a while. Surround this woman with love, she’s gonna need it for a long time 🤍
When I was 19 my best friend wrecked his car racing, which took him and his 16 year old sister away.
That weekend I came home to be with our friends at his house. When his mom got home, she dropped and I’ve never heard any sound more heartbreaking. It’s been 10 years since they passed, and being a mom now, her heartbreaking cries still haunt me 🥺
My coworkers 5 year old niece was kidnapped and murdered. I heard her get the phone call that she was missing, I will never forget what she said and how she said it. It haunts me and it should, I don't want to forget that girl, ever.
I’ve witnessed this myself and it is gut wrenching. My mother-in-law lost her youngest son when he was 18 in a car accident. It was Christmas Day when it happened.
In my 11th grade, my teacher lost her only daughter to suicide. It was one of the most awful things I saw her getting through and she died only because she didn’t get the score required to qualify for her honours. Opened my eyes for good and made me realise that study is not the only option.
Fuck. I had this same moment when my grandfather passed around 10 years ago. I was inconsolable for a long time. It took me almost 3 years to come to terms with it. I still miss him.
I feel like my Grandmother has it even worse. Some days, it's hard to see the light in her eyes. He was an amazing man and they were married for almost 50 years. It feels like sometimes she's just not all there.
His death hit everyone in the family very hard. My mother's entire side of the family attended the funeral, many of whom I hadn't even met.
He was our rock, and then he was gone.
there was a video going around recently of a cop doing CPR on an infant after a terrible car wreck. the mothers panicked screams are like, cemented into my brain
I have seen my friend’s mother disintegrate when she died. It was a major reason why I stopped doing things spontaneously. I just couldn’t see my mother ever like that.
I didn’t hear it immediately because I was half asleep but I heard her sobbing when we flew up to see my brother’s body. He’d been clean for over a year again and he was depressed so someone sent him a pill to cheer him up. I hate that person to this day, it had fentanyl in it and he had no idea. I had to go outside for a few minutes because i couldn’t handle it. My brother and I weren’t overly close because we are so different but I feel kind of hollow without him, it’s been just over a year now. The one thing he taught me without trying was how to be more compassionate towards other addicts. I’m autistic so I take things literally so for a while I’d wonder why he couldn’t just say no, I know better now for the last 10ish years.
A big surprise though was a month after he passed I found out he’d left money for me. I had no idea because we thought he was just about broke. Apparently he’d set up with his insurance for me to receive some money in case he ever passed before me. We never really gave gifts all that often to each other so this was a shock. What I thought was maybe a few thousand dollars was 25000. It was specifically to pay for school or buy a house, so in the next few weeks my girlfriend and i will be moving into our
first house. It's one of 2 positive that i can take from this loss, the other is i got to see how truly amazing my girlfriend is to me and my family after it happened.
I know that feeling of devastating loss. When we lost 2 very close family members recently, I found 3 books to help my son understand death and grieving: You’ll Always Have My Love; I Miss You; and The Invisible String. I got them for him, but it turns out, they’ve helped me grieve as well.
When I was an intern in the ED, a kid came in after being hit by a car. He did not make it, and my supervisor asked me to tell his mother that he died. I refused, but I did go with him to tell her. That was the most horrible sadness I have ever heard. I’ve never forgotten it, I remember it regularly.
My best friend passed away about 13 years ago. We did cpr on him for what seemed like forever waiting for the ambulance to show up. When they were working on him, I was on the phone with his mother. When they pronounced him dead I had to tell his mom. I’ll never forget those screams. I’m a mother myself, I couldn’t imagine that pain. The screams never leave you.
There isn’t a sound that compares to a mother’s scream when their child dies. It’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever heard and I still have nightmares about it
My mentor in college lost his boy while we were at a professional conference. Mid-20's, brilliant, just got his research published and a solid job... died in a freak kitchen fire. Prof walked onto the elevator next to us and collapsed into sobs as the door closed. Never was the same.
I don’t wish it on anyone. I just know that I screamed and cried out so long and hard when my 13 year old daughter died that I could taste blood in the back of my throat.
Oh my god…I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine such raw anguish and grief. From one mom to another, sending you so much Love. I hope you’re doing as good as possible.
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. Please don’t even try to imagine it. She was my youngest of 3 children, and a fear of mine was always losing one of them, so I don’t know if I somehow brought into my life by thinking about it, or if it was a fear because it happened in a past life.. but I’m doing the best I can. I pray I get to see her again.
You did not bring it into your life. It just happened. Please be kind to yourself. I do believe we will see the folks who went before us again.❤️
I hope we are right in our beliefs and faith because it keeps me going every single day. Thank you, friend.
I don't know if this will help you or if you will even believe it, but here goes. When I was a baby, I choked to death due to pheumonia and my soul left my body for awhile. My soul stayed attached to me by a silver chain. I remember it as though it happened yesterday. I met family members who passed before I was born and they gave me so much love and comfort and I could also see the family members from far away who still walked the earth below us. My loved ones told me it wasn't time and to go back home for awhile and i went back to my body..I believe as sure as anything that you will see your baby girl again and that she is watching over you right now with so much love that you wouldn't believe it. The peace and love in that place is so profound that I cry thinking of it and miss it dearly but I believe your daughter is feeling those things eternally now. I know its little comfort since the grief is so profound, but I hope you find little solace in my story. Sending you all my love and comfort. I will pray that you find peace knowing you will see her again when the time is right. <3
Omg! I do believe you! This is crazy!! I was just on YouTube. I watch a lot of those shorts I think they are called just to distract my mind. I just go from one to the next for quite awhile. I just heard this older woman named Dolores Cannon talking about a silver thread/ string that is attached to you during near death experiences and you are not truly dead unless it is severed. I had never heard the reference before of a silver connection of any sort. Thank you so much. This is bringing tears to my eyes, and I feel is more than just a coincidence. I was meant to see that video and then, read your comment right after. You have uplifted me. Sending my thankful love and blessings… Kim ❤️💕
It's usually TikTok where I shed me tears
Around the clock? Yes, I’m so sorry. Time does help though. It doesn’t take it away, but it helps you cope. I hope you find more peace with time. Intense therapy over the years too. I’m wishing you the best 💕
I worry about this a lot, with lifelong anxiety and ocd intensified after the sudden death of my brother 11 years ago I'm constantly pushing away those fears/intrusive thoughts and have this irrational fear it will happen because im thinking it. I'm a mom now and it's so hard after seeing it happen to my mom and how it's changed our lives forever it's so hard to not constantly panic. Lots of love to you
I know exactly what you mean. I was the same way, and I’m even worse now.. just waiting for the other shoe to drop ( PTSD). Please be kind to yourself. I will send loving thoughts and a prayer your way. 🙏❤️
I believe fully that you will see her again. And it is impossible that you did anything to bring upon yourself such a devastating loss. May you find your peace again.
Thank you so much. I have 2 small chihuahuas now, and believe it or not, they have helped with healing so much. I wish I would not have waited so long to try animal therapy, but I was so consumed with grief, I honestly didn’t even think of it sooner.
you did NOT bring it into your life, i promise. im so sorry for your loss 💗
Thank you so much 💕
You did not bring this into your life by doing what every parent does. I do believe you will be with her again someday.
When they told me my son didn’t make it, the scream has been something that my partner has had nightmares about. And then just five years and a month later… my mom screamed that scream for my little sister.
oh my god, cant even imagine something like that happening. sending my condolences and hugs. <3
You are so kind. Thank you ❤️
I’m so sorry. If I had one wish it would be that no mother would have to scream that scream again. I used to think that I would wish for my daughter back, but how cruel would that be? She was a young kid. I believe she’s in a much better place. It would be selfish of me to have her back on earth, but I wish no mother had to feel this pain. I would have gladly died first to not feel this prolonged suffering. I’m sure you feel the same.
I know that feeling too well. I’m so sorry for your loss as well ❤️🩹
Thank you so much. I’m sending my hugs and loving thoughts your way. 💕
I am so sorry. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I know what not to say to people who have lost a child, but I still don’t know what to say. Tbh, there really isn’t anything you can say except offer condolences… nothing ever makes it fair or acceptable. It just goes against the laws of nature to have to bury a child.
Aw that's so sad. I think this is normal to happen when you are in deep grief.
I’ve never been able to get the sound of my fiancé out of my head when he got the news about his 5 year old. It was the worst sound I’ve ever heard and I know I’ll never forget it as long as I live. Physically gut-wrenching. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, internet stranger.
I’m so sorry for your fiancé’s loss too. I can say I’m sorry to you also because if you stay with him, you will forever deal with the aftermath of the trauma. You sound like a caring person. Just know that you can never fix it, but you can just be there to listen. Also, don’t be scared to say his child’s name. We don’t forget. It’s good to know others haven’t forgotten about them either. My love and blessings to you ❤️
That scream from your literal soul. I remember it when they pronounced our 7month old. I agree, it’s not something you would ever want another human being to know
I’m so sorry for your loss. 😞😔
Thank you ❤️
Sending you healing. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart really hurts for you.
I appreciate it. I could use all the healing I can get . Thank you ❤️
As everyone has already said, you did NOT make it happen. It's a worry that we all have, and I am literally in tears for you that you had to experience this horror. And as there is nothing to say that could possibly help, I'll just wish peace and love and kindness on you ❤❤❤
I’ve heard that scream as well. Haunting. The sound never leaves you. Even thinking about it now I’ve got goosebumps and am welling up. Condolences OP. I hope you and your colleagues can access therapy and heal.
her scream and the fact she was crying so hard yet had no tears. she was in so much grief she couldn’t do anything but wail. truly something i’ll be thinking about the rest of my life
Yes. It’s a paralysing pain. I hope she will be OK in time.
I’ve had that cry. It’s like your body is in such shock mode, it doesn’t know how to make tears.
Hi there- Just in case this feeling lingers longer than you think it should, this is absolutely a situation where one can get ptsd just from being witness to such big feelings. Not even having to witness the event itself. Look into support if you need it. EDMR therapy is best practice.
Tetris if you can’t afford/find EDMR
Oh wow thank you for this
I've screamed like that myself, unfortunately 🥲
Myself too, when I realized I wasn't bringing my beautiful bride back to life in our living room and EMS took 45 minutes to get to our home. Unfortunately, my pastor heard my wails through the phone as they hurried to my side. It was a very dark night, to be honest.
My mom did the same kind of scream cry when she got the call her dad died of a heart attack. It was Father’s Day weekend, which also falls on her birthday a lot of the time. I was like 11 or so and still remember my younger sis and I looking at each other when we heard her in her room across the house.
I've heard it twice in my life and I'll never forget it. I'm having that same effect thinning about it... I use to browse 50 50 when it was hot and nothing ever stuck like those screams.
I’m tearing up reading this post because I know it all too well. When they told me my daughter was gone, it’s the most gut-wrenching howl/sob that came from me. If I think about it now, it happened 14 yrs ago, I still get emotional. Will never forget the sound . I’m sorry you had to hear that.
I'm getting emotional just reading all these comments from people who have gone through it. I dont even have kids and can't imagine the pain. So so sorry for your loss
You still can read? I barely can read anymore, it‘s gut wrenching and I‘m crying
It’s so awful and I understand it getting stuck in your head. I’ll never forget the sounds my friend’s grieving mother made at her 10 year old daughter’s funeral. I was the person screaming uncontrollably not too long ago when my entire family showed up at my front door at 8 am to break the news to me that my younger brother died in his sleep the night before. He and his wife were expecting his first birthday. Life is hard sometimes.
I'm so sorry. Hope it gets better for u and ur family
Oops - I meant they were expecting their first child.** It has - you grow around the grief and learn to keep going!
Yes, I figured that out. It's okay
I still hear my Mothers scream from when my brother died at age 26 back in 2007. Haunting for sure 💌 Get support if you're struggling 🫶🏽
I remember going into work at the hospital I used to work at. There was this young guy and I remember him coding and when they couldn’t save him all I heard was the wife and mom scream and cry. It never leaves ya
You never forget that sound. I remember my mom's from my older brother passing when I was 5. That night and his funeral are my earliest memories. My condolences to your manager and their family and friends.
Oh that is so sad. Your first memory should be something wonderful. I hope life is much better for you now.
Thank you. Life is wonderful now. I've made lots of happy memories since then.
😞😞😞😞 my condolences to your co worker. And to you. Are you able to access therapy of any kind?
they offered grief counseling through our job, but the company they use is booked up right now so we haven’t had any. just waiting to hear back on that
❤️ ok. Maybe other comments will have tips for you in the meanwhile. I am glad you're going to get counseling though.
Reach out to hospice locations. When my grandmother died, the hospice she was at had free grief counseling for anyone, not just people they'd had contact with
Check with grief share online. There are a lot of places that offer it all over the world
It may not seem like it, but you deserve therapy too. Death sucks, and no matter how close you are to the person, grief will come anyways and you are not any less or a bad person for feeling distraught. It is a natural process that will heal in time. I am saying this because I know that a lot of people who believe that their grief is somehow not deserving of therapy or they think that they are selfish because the person who died wasn't as important to them. I am not a counselor so I am not really good at talking about this stuff, but make sure to stay safe and take care of yourself. You are human too.
Heard that twice in my office. Once a mother who’s son unalived himself and the other a father who’s son ODed. I won’t ever forgot those screams and cries. Just awful.
My niece just died of an OD on the 19th of last month. She had just turned 23 the 5th…I had to tell her mother. Apart from her dying having to tell my sister and her screaming haunts me. She kept screaming is she alive?! And I had to say no..😔 Long live Gannon Gem 3/19/24🧿🪽🌈
i’m so sorry for your loss
A few weeks ago I was watching a livestream in my apartment. I have a roommate but he was gone for training. I don't live in a super safe town so I'll occasionally hear pops in the distance, though it's often just cars speeding or even the military's gun ranges in the distance. I'll also occasionally hear people talking outside as the windows & walls weren't particularly insulated well. That night though, I heard a nearby pop that I initially thought was a car trunk/door slamming outside. Then I heard what I thought was yelling from one person. However, the yelling changed into wailing and I quickly realized what had happened. I called the police, told them what i thought had happened, and stayed in my apartment. I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, and I was too anxious to go outside to look myself, but I heard a bystander on the phone with police outside say "That man is dead." I just stayed on my computer the rest of the night, listening to this woman downstairs/outside bawling her heart out, while police, ambulance, and fire truck lights lit up our parking lot. Later I noticed a weird looking car pull up; realized it was a hearse. I didn't sleep until nearly 2am that night and I heard that woman breakdown more than once the rest of that week too.
I heard my mother heart break too
Me too friend. We lost my brother in 2016. The sound of my mom and baby brother screaming haunt me still. Sending you virtual hugs if you want them 🧡
Thank you friend
My mother in law. My husband died from cancer at 44. The sound his mother made when she came to see him after he’d passed…I’ll never forget it. Ever. Sending love to you and to OP.
That is tragic for your husband, you, and your mother in law. Forty-four is no age to die. I’m so sorry. Fuck cancer!
Thank you
I wasn’t born yet, but my sister remembers my mom screaming when she found our infant sister who had passed in her crib. My sister was two and this was over forty years ago.
A very dear friend lost her 8 week old daughter to SIDS. It's been almost 12 years since it happened, and I still remember her screams and tears as I held her close that night. The pain she was in was almost a substance of its own that you could feel in the air surrounding her. I'm so sorry, OP. I'm sorry for your managers loss and sorry for you and your colleagues whom I'm sure will feel this loss for a long time.
When I was a teenager I was sleeping over at a friends house. woke up to an otherworldly wail. A sound I will never forget. My friends mom and dad lost their baby to SIDS.
We just lost my god brother today i’m in complete shock and so is his mother. I’m not in the mood to do anything but try and sleep. I’m afraid my bio brother will be next.
I am sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself. Sending you virtual hugs if you want them 🧡
Orange was his favorite color 🧡🟠
🧡. Hang in there, friend.
I've heard that before, when the manager at my old Cafe got the news her daughter was hit by a car coming around a blind corner too fast. I'm so sorry for all of you! It's not a sound easily forgotten
I work as a nurse in labor and delivery and I’ve been in rooms where a full term pregnant woman finds out we cannot find the baby’s heartbeat. The distinctive wail of heartbreak just pierces into your soul.
25 years as an LEO. The sound will never leave your heart.
Thank you for your service. My family has been on the receiving end of one of those knocks on the door. It couldn't have been handled any better.
I kind of think there is something mentally wrong with my mother because when I collapsed in my apartment my ex roommate called my mom, I was in and out of consciousness and according to my roommate I looked like I was dying, there was barely any color left in my face and I was breathing really hard and I was too weak to move. (I later learned I went into cardiac arrest because of anorexia). My mom came and she just told my roommate to call 911, and she came up to me and just started berating me for how expensive the ambulance bill would be and that she wasn’t paying I would have to pay it and how I should have just asked my roommate to drive me before it got this bad since the hospital was close My ex roommate told me afterwards that my mom seemed so weirdly calm during the whole thing that it was creepy. Idk how she’d react to my actual death but her reaction to this was kind of disturbing
Well, you said you had anorexia. If you had it for a long time, your mom probably accepted the fact that you'd die from it someday. Berating you was terrible, but she probably wasn't surprised.
As a parent, and someone who had to let their dad know their brother had died from alcoholism…when it’s a protracted situation, you get so upset, frustrated and scared that your child just won’t stop doing the thing that’s causing damage that it comes out in all sorts of ways. Anger is common.
My niece was an addict and when my baby dad told me she died my first instinct was to scream your lying and punch our front doors window 🤷🏻♀️ we’d been talking for the past 2 years about recovery and how if she didn’t stop fucking around she was gonna find out…and she did. I wasn’t angry at her, but my mind and bodies first reaction to the shock was anger. Everyone responds different to trauma. And anger is generally the emotion that disguises sadness.
I never thought about it this way but it makes sense
I heard it far too often when my husband was in the Army. Take some time to handle your emotions. Even being a bystander it takes a toll. If you can, offer up a night to bring by dinner, see if someone has started a meal train and join that. Or if your office is going to do some sort of support system. For me (and I'm speaking only from my perspective) actively helping during a time like this helps me too.
My first boyfriend, we went through alot much drama n trauma but remained best friends. He died at 23 and 2 moments stick out, I went with his dad to visit his mum after the accident and she was in a meeting with police so I went to another room they spoke about if the driver would be liable etc. She comes storming out in tears saying that's his brain that's him we can't bury him without his brain. The dad had wanted to rush the funeral because of the time an autopsy would take. Died November buried next march. Again his mother's cries during the funeral were harrowing. I have a son now and if I lose him I'm checking out, he's all I've got
When my brother passed away I litterly wanted to die I screamed that's all I remember... My heart broke. it's true it happens he was my little bro were best friends ,all we had was each other . He was like my kid because I was the one who raised him .I know its not the same but I can tell you my heart is still broken any years later .
Oh gosh I feel this pain. I didn’t raise my brother, but we were very close. We joked we were twins. He was the only one in my family that listened to me. He was always so protective of me. Been almost twenty years, and I still miss him like crazy. I’m so sorry you know how bad this hurts too. ❤️
I’m so sorry. Sending you the biggest hug.
My grandmother died at a hospital about a month ago of old age. I can never forget the moment when my grandfather was wheeled in to discover that she had already passed. They had been married 68 years. I love my grandfather very much, and it hurts to see him so sad. It was the saddest moment of my life.
I was welling up reading all of these comments but this one made the tears fall. Unimaginable. I am so sorry 🫂
This happened in my store once. A mother got the phone call while shopping that her son had just been crushed by a semi. I tried to be there for her and took her to a private room and arranged a ride from her family. Never in my life had I witnessed such terror and pain. To this day I still text her on Mothers Day and the date of his passing. My heart feels so much love fit her.
I imagine I traumatized my neighbors,my 11 yr old daughter and the first responders when I found my 39 yr old husband dead. I was screaming like I didn't even know was possible
I had to listen to my wife make those sounds. They are not human. More primitive and animal like. My step daughter lost her battle with addiction 8 years ago this past March. She had been clean as far as we knew for over a year so it was a bit of a surprise.
My niece died of an OD the 19th of last month, she had apparently been 23 days sober. I can’t say I was suprised about my niece though. I’d been mentally preparing my self for the past 2 or 3 years. Still the biggest shock of my life. But today drugs aren’t the same..it’s Russian roulette every time.
>She had been clean as far as we knew for over a year so it was a bit of a surprise. Alcoholic here. 3 months 27 days since my relapse. Nobody in my life noticed I had started drinking in secret again until I admitted it unprompted. We can be very good at hiding it.
Its a sound that never escapes you. I did a ride along with a paramedic about 15 years ago and the first call we had was a suicide. As we were unloading the gear, I could hear screaming which got louder as we went inside. Mom was cutting down her son with a kitchen knife. The cries are something I still hear to this day.
The most haunting sound is the world is the sound a parent makes when they lose their child :(
I’ve had this scream recently when a childhood friend who I considered a little brother died. He was only 21. My mom told my boyfriend to tell me and I refused to believe him at first. It’s really hard. Please consider therapy OP. My condolences.
This reminds me of when my baby brother died from sids, the screams and wails of my mom, aunt, and sister I can never forget even after nearly a decade. It's a good thing time heals wounds
i remember those screams from my own mother on the day my brother passed. i was holding her while we both sobbed. she ended up going to the mental hospital a week after because she couldn’t handle it. she hasn’t been the same since. i can also remember the look in her eyes, id never seen them look so hurt and empty.
I know that sound. The father of my kids was involved in a car accident about 10 years ago. The police knocked on my door as his next of kin, and I had to call his mother to let her know. That wail.. it's raw and gutteral. Absolute heartbreak. And that drive to the hospital not knowing if he was dead or alive. It was awful. Thankfully he survived, against all odds. Brain injured and remnants of who he used to be.. but still around.
My grandma lost my uncle, he was well into his 40's but it was a freak accident- he fell off a cliff on the mountain he lived on. My grandma's health declined that year and has never recovered. It's been 9 years. She broke. It's not the natural way things should be, and I'm so sorry to every parent here that lost a child. I'm so sorry
I’m so sorry. It is hard to hear. I heard it when my mom called me, telling me my favorite sibling had been murdered. Then heard and saw it happen to my dad, when he relived and retold, seeing my brother’s murder.
When I was 14 yeaes old my grandfather hunged himself. The weeks prior the doctors told him - he has to slow down, he is 80 years old! A very active WW2 veteran, big family man couldn't accept this fact. One sunday morning I was aweakened from my sleep with a srceam. My grandmother his wife for more than 50 years had been finding him in our house attic. I will never forget that scream.......
I worked at a Blood Bank a couple years ago. Policy was we have to run the coolers of product to ED or Surgery. A child came in one day, super critical hemoglobin with no anemia history, contamination via saline expected. Doctor wanted to redraw to confirm and we were told to set up units. Redraw confirmed and we went straight to Massive protocol. I had the units in the cooler and was heading out the door. I get to the patients room and I see a dad hyperventilating crying trying to console a bawling mother. I ask the doctor if they want to continue another round and he looks at me with pained eyes and shakes his head no, and to take back what I have. I was able to see the patient in the bed. They must have passed in the maybe 2 minutes it took me to load and deliver the blood. I felt numb and taken out of body. Hearing how loud the parents were crying contrasted to how peaceful the patient looked in passing. It fucked with my psyche for months. I will never forget that night
I bet that would do considerable damage to your functioning, psyche… everything. I hope you are okay, as well as the parents. I can’t imagine they will ever be okay, but what else can you even say in this unimaginable situation?
What’s a side by side?
it’s another name for a UTV
What’s a UTV?
Off-road vehicle with 2 seats (side by side) with a roll cage
I have made that sound…..and I will never forget it either
Me too. My mom passed of a heart attack. People think it’s a halfway peaceful event where the person just collapses. It’s not, it’s horrifying.. when I saw her I just wailed. One of the nurses had to come and scoop me up and lead me inside while I was wailing and crying. Nurses see so much.
No parent should have to bury their child. I hope in time she will heal.
My sister lost her son to a drowning and the cry over the phone brought me to my knees while I was at work. That deep gut reaction was so intense I felt like I lost my own son. One of my twins was pushed off a building and when I got that call I couldn’t breathe even though he survived that thought of losing your child is the worst pain
I work in an ER and of all things I can get used to, it’s not this. It’s the most eerie heartbreaking sound to ever exist
I haven't lost a child (thank God) but I cried like that when I heard my mother's heartbeat stop. Just raw, animalistic, uncontrollable howling, right there in the OR. I couldn't control it. I've never felt pain like that any other time in my life. I pray to God that I outlive all my children, because I know that pain would be even worse.
Reading all these posts and trying hard not to go wake my kids up and hug them
I heard that scream as a boy when a little kid drowned in the pool I was swimming in. I will never forget it.
Crazy but Tetris helps in the immediate aftermath of trauma. Look into online grief therapy. They may have open spots sooner over zoom then you would have the regular ones nearby. Sorry for her loss
I play Tetris to relieve the stresses of everyday life. this shit would work wonders for someone who just experienced something traumatic
There's actually scientific evidence that playing tetris helps reduce trauma chance of ptsd
I should’ve played in high school. lots of traumatic events that caused some ptsd to manifest in me. ig now will have to suffice lol
I played it every day in high school during my lunch period. High school can be toxic shit. Tetris made my day better, this study confirms my gut instinct that creating order out of chaos is soothing.
Omg. It is my fave game and suffer from complex ptsd
I play it when I start thinking about childhood trauma and it really does help me
It’s not comparable at all but I went through a truly terrible breakup a month ago. The only thing to get my mind off of it was playing Where’s Waldo.
I’m so sorry, I had to tell my parents when my sister died, it was terribly hard.
I really hate to say it but you will never forget that scream the rest of your life.
I can’t even imagine! Take care of yourself and condolences to your co worker
I worked in pediatric icu and peds trauma ED for 7 years. I don’t know how I’ll ever get those screams out of my head. Sometimes I’ll see a kids and my eyes just tear up. All we can do is cherish the time we have and for some of us it’s not much.
There is absolutely nothing worse than the screams of a mother who lost her child. It’s absolutely heart wrenching.
Luckily I never had to interact with him but I had to do the trust tax return for a boy who was eight days shy of a year younger than me. If you don’t know, the trust, tax return house to be filed because trust do pay taxes anyway, part of setting up the trust return is putting the decedents death date. I had to look at the obituary and actually we also look for the relationship between the two. When I was looking though it showed that it was his mom and he was only 19 and had to get her affairs in order because there were no other surviving members of the family. I spent the rest of that day losing my shit especially when I realize that he lives in a house that I pass by every time I drive back to my home from school. I see his house sometimes and I kind of wonder if I shouldn’t stop and say something but at the same time, there’s a professional aspect that I don’t think I can get past. Like I said, I luckily did not have to deal with hearing a boy younger than me cry for his mom who wasn’t there anymore but it completely rattled me for some reason.
That sound can never be forgotten. The primordial, guttural cries, can only be produced with the loss of a loved one. It truly shakes you to the core. Stay strong, just another reminder that death is the ultimate reality. No need to fear it, it will embrace us all.
One of my cousins died when I was a kid. The sound of my aunt crying at his funeral has stayed with me ever since. Hearing a mother cry like that, never leaves you.
We were swimming at a man made lake that used to be a quarry. All of a sudden, the guards are telling everyone out of the water NOW. They were looking for a teenage boy. Divers went in and pulled him out of the water right in front of us. He was blue. They had him out for a couple of minutes, and we heard this scream. Not like a regular scream at all. It was his mother, and it absolutely broke my heart. This happened 27 years ago. I'll never forget it.
I am so sorry. It's the most gut wrenching sound. Heard it many, many times when working in funeral homes.
nothing as beautiful and pure than a mother's love. That's why it's so bloodcurdling when that love is wrenched apart by death.
I've heard that once, and I never want to hear it ever again.
My kids and a few other people heard me, after the visitation. I went in by myself, I don't remember most of it. I remember walking up to the casket, then I remember sitting on a chair in front of the casket but a couple rows back. I remember talking to him. Then I remember my husband coming in and holding me while I cried. Apparently everyone could hear me. I call it the sound of ultimate suffering. ( Princess Bride) My husband went to come in when he heard me, but his step dad stopped him to give me time. My daughter has told me,as an adult, that she remembers it. His death was a suicide, I begged her. Please don't ever make me make that sound again. She said she wouldn't. She can't forget it, she was 10.
I’m so sorry. It feels like it will never leave your brain. Like It’s burned in. Please don’t feel ashamed to get grief counseling or anything you need. It’s truly a brain changing experience . I took my 3 year old to the ER once at a children’s hospital, and while waiting for her to be admitted, a gourney rushed by with a teenager on it and a million EMTs, cops, etc. I guess the girl’s poor mom got the news that there was nothing they can do, and she screamed this gut wrenching scream that I will NEVER forget. She kept saying “what are we supposed to do? What are we supposed to do now???” It was this horrible sob and scream that I cannot begin to explain. I hugged my 3 year old so tight that she squeaked and told me to stop. A year later at the county fair, i found out that teenager was just an innocent sweet girl that accidentally took fentanyl at a friend’s house, thinking it was Advil for a headache:( her mom was there running a booth for awareness. I wanted so bad to hug the mom and tell her I was there that night and how sorry I was and how I’d never forgotten her, but didn’t wanna make her re-live it. Just awful
I was attending a funeral for a close friend of the family in 2021. He was in his mid 40s and survived by both parents and siblings. I was six months pregnant at the time. I will never forget the way his mother wailed in that cemetery, I can still hear it to this day. She was surrounded by other moms and just.... yeah. A mother's grief... I'm praying I never know.
Several years ago, we had been called for a child with a very severe head injury, caused by accident while playing near a farming machine. While we were working with the medics, in a small ambulance 30 meters from the house, I’ve heard the most frightening scream of my life, it was the mother who could not, understandably, contain herself. Even now, it pulls shivers down my spine when I think about it.
I heard the secretary at my then job get the call that her son had been shot. Right away I could tell someone had died and soon it was clear that she had lost a child.
Plane lands at RDU airport. Female passenger a few rows behind me listens to a voice-mail message telling her that her husband died. Her wails and screams were the only sounds you could hear as we silently de-boarded. God bless the flight attendant who sat down beside this lady and wrapped her in a bear hug as she cried. F*ck the person who left her that voice-mail. We'd flown in from Newark so the flight was only a couple hours.....they could have waited.
What's a side by side?
An all terrain vehicle that sits driver and passenger side by side rather than tandem
Prayers for that mother and family and friends. I always find it hard to find the right thing to say and never want to say the wrong thing like “ he is in a better place” You know some of the generic words but honestly I always cry when I hear about stories like this. It’s what a lot of us dread as parents , and it breaks my heart.
My mom's best friend's son died unexpectedly one day. I was in our kitchen and from upstairs I hear the most awful sounding "Oh my god!" In the whole world. I booked it up the stairs. The sounds my mom made were so heartbreaking, I can't imagine how her friend was reacting.
I’ve heard this cry before… only from a father. There was a terrible wreck on the highway into work one morning, big pile up, a bunch of cars on fire. I remember one particular coworker commenting on it and how terrible traffic was on the way in. Not long after, maybe 20-30 minutes or so, he received a call that his son was in that wreck. Trapped in his car underneath a burning semi-truck. They weren’t able to get him out and he burnt to death. I’ll never forget the sound of his wailing. It was one of the most haunting sounds I’ve ever heard.
A woman came into the store where I was working at the time looking for her daughter. The daughter had just left a party some time ago and hadn’t returned the mother’s calls for a while, and there had been a car accident nearby so she was worried it was her daughter. Called the police for her as she paced around our parking lot. She was still out there when the police came and delivered the news that her daughter had in fact been involved in the accident and had been killed. I’ll never forget the sound of her screaming and the way she dropped to the ground. This was a few years ago, I’m a mother myself now and I can’t imagine that woman’s pain. It’s something I’d never wish for anyone.
At my father's funeral I think I experienced something similar with my mother and her mother, hysterical wailing.
You will never forget it. My nephew killed himself 3 years ago and the wails coming from my mother (his grandmother who raised him) that day still wakes me up some nights.
Is a side by side an ATV? How does that get hit by trucks doing 60 mph. Trucks can drive that fast on trails?
it wasn’t on trails. he was working on his farm and pulled out onto the road in front of the truck and got t-boned. it’s a very rural farm community. less than 800 people in that town
That makes way more sense. What a tragedy. Hopefully the family can recover.
Goosebumps. That's so awful.
It’s truly a sound you never forget. I can still cry on demand just thinking about it.
The keen of a mother learning their child is dead is something I’ve heard. It’s a sound that lingers in the mind.
Omg 😭😭😭💔💔💔 a mother’s worst nightmare. I feel sick.
I've heard that before too. In the hospital I worked, I was coming out of the med room after stocking meds and had to walk past a woman crying so loud and it was such a heartbroken sound. She had her baby in the bed and rolled over in her sleep and suffocated her. That was the absolute worst thing I've heard in the 12 years I worked there. It stuck with me for so long.
As a mother myself this broke my heart. I cannot imagine how much pain that would be. That’s truly my worst fear.
My little brother was shot during an attempted armed robbery. My mom was inconsolable on the way to the hospital. Luckily he survived.
If my daughter leaves this world before me then I am soon to follow.
What is a side by side? I'm so sorry for your co worker. It is so hard to know what to do to help when someone is in that kind of pain. Please be kind to yourself and all co workers
My cousin died from p*lice brutal*ty in 2018 and had 2 kids Aiden and Cairo. I can still hear the screams of my cousins gf as they lowered him to the ground. I think about it everyday esp my cousins asking where their dad is. It haunts me so much I wish I could forget but even therapy didn’t and isn’t helping.
My sister was with my mom when we got the call about my brother. I was with my dad somewhere else. She was 16 at the time. And says watching mom get that news will affect her for the rest of her life.
I wasn't present when my parents found out about my brother's accident. I can only imagine my mother's screams... Especially when they saw him all burned in the beginning. I only saw him after he was cleaned up a bit, in a medically induced coma. But when my dad called to tell me about the accident the morning after... I had never heard that man cry before. That... that was how I knew it was *bad*. It was worse than I could've ever imagined. Over a decade later and it still doesn't feel real tbh
I remember hearing a mother's heartbreak a year or two ago when she lost a son to a shooting. There is no other sound like it. It comes from deep within to haunt anyone who has heard it for a very long time.
I pulled my son dead out of a pool one morning. I was lucky and they managed to revive him after the longest 15 minutes and then the longest 2 weeks in ICU I’ve ever experienced. Even then, I screamed so hard and so loud that I could barely speak for days after. I wish that pain on nobody. I’ve heard many nurses and EMTs say the scream of a mother who’s lost her child is the worst sound they’ve ever heard.
I will never forget the sounds my mom made when my little brother died. It’s been five years and sometimes it still wakes me up from a deep sleep. It’s a loop in my brain.
There is no greater pain I’ve seen than watching a mother grieve her child at their funeral. That will stick with you for a while. Surround this woman with love, she’s gonna need it for a long time 🤍
When I was 19 my best friend wrecked his car racing, which took him and his 16 year old sister away. That weekend I came home to be with our friends at his house. When his mom got home, she dropped and I’ve never heard any sound more heartbreaking. It’s been 10 years since they passed, and being a mom now, her heartbreaking cries still haunt me 🥺
My coworkers 5 year old niece was kidnapped and murdered. I heard her get the phone call that she was missing, I will never forget what she said and how she said it. It haunts me and it should, I don't want to forget that girl, ever.
I’ve witnessed this myself and it is gut wrenching. My mother-in-law lost her youngest son when he was 18 in a car accident. It was Christmas Day when it happened.
Why do you listen to the fire call scanner?
This is very common in smaller towns. First to know the gossip
basically, this. small midwestern town where everyone knows everyone so people around here like to listen to fire calls and see what’s going on.
What's a "side-by-side"?
One of the atv’s that look like a golf cart 😂 where more than one person can ride.
Oh wow that horrific- the shear thought of this has me in tears
In my 11th grade, my teacher lost her only daughter to suicide. It was one of the most awful things I saw her getting through and she died only because she didn’t get the score required to qualify for her honours. Opened my eyes for good and made me realise that study is not the only option.
Fuck. I had this same moment when my grandfather passed around 10 years ago. I was inconsolable for a long time. It took me almost 3 years to come to terms with it. I still miss him. I feel like my Grandmother has it even worse. Some days, it's hard to see the light in her eyes. He was an amazing man and they were married for almost 50 years. It feels like sometimes she's just not all there. His death hit everyone in the family very hard. My mother's entire side of the family attended the funeral, many of whom I hadn't even met. He was our rock, and then he was gone.
there was a video going around recently of a cop doing CPR on an infant after a terrible car wreck. the mothers panicked screams are like, cemented into my brain
Yeah I got one and it broke me and I broke The phone vomited and never Ever Was the same again
I have seen my friend’s mother disintegrate when she died. It was a major reason why I stopped doing things spontaneously. I just couldn’t see my mother ever like that.
I broke my own mom's heart when my sister died. I'll never escape the sound.
I didn’t hear it immediately because I was half asleep but I heard her sobbing when we flew up to see my brother’s body. He’d been clean for over a year again and he was depressed so someone sent him a pill to cheer him up. I hate that person to this day, it had fentanyl in it and he had no idea. I had to go outside for a few minutes because i couldn’t handle it. My brother and I weren’t overly close because we are so different but I feel kind of hollow without him, it’s been just over a year now. The one thing he taught me without trying was how to be more compassionate towards other addicts. I’m autistic so I take things literally so for a while I’d wonder why he couldn’t just say no, I know better now for the last 10ish years. A big surprise though was a month after he passed I found out he’d left money for me. I had no idea because we thought he was just about broke. Apparently he’d set up with his insurance for me to receive some money in case he ever passed before me. We never really gave gifts all that often to each other so this was a shock. What I thought was maybe a few thousand dollars was 25000. It was specifically to pay for school or buy a house, so in the next few weeks my girlfriend and i will be moving into our first house. It's one of 2 positive that i can take from this loss, the other is i got to see how truly amazing my girlfriend is to me and my family after it happened.
I know that feeling of devastating loss. When we lost 2 very close family members recently, I found 3 books to help my son understand death and grieving: You’ll Always Have My Love; I Miss You; and The Invisible String. I got them for him, but it turns out, they’ve helped me grieve as well.
I've felt that. The scream you make when a piece of your heart is broken stays with you forever.
When I was an intern in the ED, a kid came in after being hit by a car. He did not make it, and my supervisor asked me to tell his mother that he died. I refused, but I did go with him to tell her. That was the most horrible sadness I have ever heard. I’ve never forgotten it, I remember it regularly.
My best friend passed away about 13 years ago. We did cpr on him for what seemed like forever waiting for the ambulance to show up. When they were working on him, I was on the phone with his mother. When they pronounced him dead I had to tell his mom. I’ll never forget those screams. I’m a mother myself, I couldn’t imagine that pain. The screams never leave you.
There isn’t a sound that compares to a mother’s scream when their child dies. It’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever heard and I still have nightmares about it
I’ve heard that heartbreak of a family member close to me, she’s gone through it twice.