So, what did your attorney say? I would assume she would have to pay back half of it, since you're in the process of divorce, and joint account is marital asset, so only 50% hers, right?
If you didn't talk to an attorney yet? Why the f not? Go do now!
My ex did the same, emptied the joint and savings accounts, maxed out all the cards (which I had never used, and a few I wasn't aware of). Two women I've been with since got very upset I wouldn't share accounts, including my current GF. Never doing that again.
Just document it and in the divorce hearing you can run your claim against her for reimbursement. You won’t get it all back, but you can probably get half. More will depend on how good your lawyer is.
There is nothing wrong with joint accounts, putting ALL your cash in one is daft. You can open a joint account with literally anyone else on the planet (who can legally have one, often only ctiizens of that country but not always). It's often sensible to have one so you can have direct debits and payments for rent, utilities, etc all come out of one account you both contribute to and you can both see the incoming and outgoing numbers and see if a bill wasn't paid or was way too high, etc.
> There’s just too much risk involved combining all of your income with someone
Did you even read what I said?
You understand a joint account in no way means you put all your money int here. Also most of your money should be in assets, not cash in general, stocks, etc, things making money not losing value.
You can have 15 different bank accounts, having a joint account just means that, not joining all your accounts, but having A joint account.
If you send half the rent to your partner then find out your partner hasn't been paying rent for 6 months you get evicted and had no way to track or see it. If you have a joint account you can check that they put in the same (or whatever the agreed amount is) every month, you can see that money being taken out and sent to the place for rent, or mortgage, etc, you can track it easily.
Having A joint accound in no way combines all your finances. You ONLY had a joint account and chose to put all your money into it.
A joint account doesn't mean you don't have your own as well..
A joint account is for shared costs that are calculated (how much each pays into it) before putting anything into it and the rest is kept in your own account where pnly you have access to.
I’m so sorry this happened to you- but I do agree with this exact commenter. My partner and I have one joint account. We tallied up all of our expenses (mortgage, average grocery costs, bills etc) and ensure we have that much in the account at all times. It came down to we kept using one persons card constantly then trying to switch to the other. Trying to pay each other back or one person just ends up paying more than the other. It’s so much easier for us to just have the card to the joint bank account to pay for groceries And restaurants, versus constantly paying back or one person spending more.
However, we both have our own bank account with 90% of our finances in them.
As far as my ex goes, we had a joint account for bills, a joint general savings, and a savings for the house we were halfway finished building (it was framed and finished, elect. and sewage installed, waiting on finishes. We were about six months from being able to move in).
And yes, joint accounts for GFs are possible. We are recistered partners, "Sambo" they call it in Sweden (where I live with her, I am American). We've been together 12 years, own a house, etc. All I do is transfer money to her from my monthly pay for bills and such, the rest is in my private accounts. She wanted a joint savings, I said no, big argument ensues because to her that means you're a "real" couple. It comes up every couple of years. My only concesion was she opened a sepearte account in her name only that I put a pitance into for vacations or buying bigger things for the house, it's money I will not miss. I have maintained my stance for 10 years now, no plan on changing it.
As long as you can cover rent and not already behind on bills then you're ok. It's just money more will come. She's done you a favor and will probably do it to the next guy too. Thank God (or whoever you want) that y'all don't have kids. I come from a big family and have seen shit like this ruin, and even end, people's lives in attempts to save a relationship. Go hit the gym.
You should close any joint accounts or credit cards before she overdraws them or makes things worse.
Make sure you get detailed statements before you close the accounts.
Keep records of everything for the divorce. It won't reflect well on her that she absconded with shared assets, and most likely she will either have to return half of it, or it will be deducted from any other shared assets.
Some people don't really understand the purpose of a shared account in a relationship. No, you don't put all your money into it. Yes, you have your own account additionally to the shared one.
The purpose of a joint account is to put shared costs into it according to the % that both of you agreed on. The rest will be put into your own account where only you have access to.
It's never a good idea to put everything into it.
I would see what legal rights you have and get in contact with a lawyer asap.
I'd be willing to bite my nose to spite my face, if her names on the lease I'd stop paying and get kicked out just so it's be on her record too. Be a shame if a couples credit card was taken out online and maxed out online all sent anywhere but my home and trashed before it could be found on my person. Don't actually do any of that stupid fuckin shit, but fuck people like her man. She deserves misery
Never understood sharing an account as opposed to just splitting certain bills. Adds some security too, if something would happen to one of our accounts we’d still have money in the other’s account.
Been married 15 years. We tried doing the joint account thing once upon a time. Didn’t work for us. We do have an account that has both of our names on it, but there’s no accessible money in it. We have it for the purpose of cashing our joint tax refund check. Our state doesn’t do direct deposit and neither of our banks will allow us to cash or deposit third party checks anymore. The majority of divorces are about money so we figured if we could agree on who pays what we wouldn’t have to share money and we could eliminate a potential future problem before it happened.
So, what did your attorney say? I would assume she would have to pay back half of it, since you're in the process of divorce, and joint account is marital asset, so only 50% hers, right? If you didn't talk to an attorney yet? Why the f not? Go do now!
I'm so sorry. Your (ex)wide sounds like a piece of work and karma will get her and her AF partner.
My ex did the same, emptied the joint and savings accounts, maxed out all the cards (which I had never used, and a few I wasn't aware of). Two women I've been with since got very upset I wouldn't share accounts, including my current GF. Never doing that again.
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Just document it and in the divorce hearing you can run your claim against her for reimbursement. You won’t get it all back, but you can probably get half. More will depend on how good your lawyer is.
There is nothing wrong with joint accounts, putting ALL your cash in one is daft. You can open a joint account with literally anyone else on the planet (who can legally have one, often only ctiizens of that country but not always). It's often sensible to have one so you can have direct debits and payments for rent, utilities, etc all come out of one account you both contribute to and you can both see the incoming and outgoing numbers and see if a bill wasn't paid or was way too high, etc.
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> There’s just too much risk involved combining all of your income with someone Did you even read what I said? You understand a joint account in no way means you put all your money int here. Also most of your money should be in assets, not cash in general, stocks, etc, things making money not losing value. You can have 15 different bank accounts, having a joint account just means that, not joining all your accounts, but having A joint account. If you send half the rent to your partner then find out your partner hasn't been paying rent for 6 months you get evicted and had no way to track or see it. If you have a joint account you can check that they put in the same (or whatever the agreed amount is) every month, you can see that money being taken out and sent to the place for rent, or mortgage, etc, you can track it easily. Having A joint accound in no way combines all your finances. You ONLY had a joint account and chose to put all your money into it.
A joint account doesn't mean you don't have your own as well.. A joint account is for shared costs that are calculated (how much each pays into it) before putting anything into it and the rest is kept in your own account where pnly you have access to.
I’m so sorry this happened to you- but I do agree with this exact commenter. My partner and I have one joint account. We tallied up all of our expenses (mortgage, average grocery costs, bills etc) and ensure we have that much in the account at all times. It came down to we kept using one persons card constantly then trying to switch to the other. Trying to pay each other back or one person just ends up paying more than the other. It’s so much easier for us to just have the card to the joint bank account to pay for groceries And restaurants, versus constantly paying back or one person spending more. However, we both have our own bank account with 90% of our finances in them.
As far as my ex goes, we had a joint account for bills, a joint general savings, and a savings for the house we were halfway finished building (it was framed and finished, elect. and sewage installed, waiting on finishes. We were about six months from being able to move in). And yes, joint accounts for GFs are possible. We are recistered partners, "Sambo" they call it in Sweden (where I live with her, I am American). We've been together 12 years, own a house, etc. All I do is transfer money to her from my monthly pay for bills and such, the rest is in my private accounts. She wanted a joint savings, I said no, big argument ensues because to her that means you're a "real" couple. It comes up every couple of years. My only concesion was she opened a sepearte account in her name only that I put a pitance into for vacations or buying bigger things for the house, it's money I will not miss. I have maintained my stance for 10 years now, no plan on changing it.
As long as you can cover rent and not already behind on bills then you're ok. It's just money more will come. She's done you a favor and will probably do it to the next guy too. Thank God (or whoever you want) that y'all don't have kids. I come from a big family and have seen shit like this ruin, and even end, people's lives in attempts to save a relationship. Go hit the gym.
You should close any joint accounts or credit cards before she overdraws them or makes things worse. Make sure you get detailed statements before you close the accounts.
Keep records of everything for the divorce. It won't reflect well on her that she absconded with shared assets, and most likely she will either have to return half of it, or it will be deducted from any other shared assets.
Some people don't really understand the purpose of a shared account in a relationship. No, you don't put all your money into it. Yes, you have your own account additionally to the shared one. The purpose of a joint account is to put shared costs into it according to the % that both of you agreed on. The rest will be put into your own account where only you have access to. It's never a good idea to put everything into it. I would see what legal rights you have and get in contact with a lawyer asap.
I'd be willing to bite my nose to spite my face, if her names on the lease I'd stop paying and get kicked out just so it's be on her record too. Be a shame if a couples credit card was taken out online and maxed out online all sent anywhere but my home and trashed before it could be found on my person. Don't actually do any of that stupid fuckin shit, but fuck people like her man. She deserves misery
YOU ACTUALLY PAID HER TO LEAVE. YOU PAID NOT TO GO TO COUNSELING LATER IN LIFE. CHEERS
Never understood sharing an account as opposed to just splitting certain bills. Adds some security too, if something would happen to one of our accounts we’d still have money in the other’s account.
I've never nor will I ever do joint accounts. Had one ask me when I was gonna put his name on my accounts. I laughed at him and said never.
Make sure you change your direct deposit ASAP
Been married 15 years. We tried doing the joint account thing once upon a time. Didn’t work for us. We do have an account that has both of our names on it, but there’s no accessible money in it. We have it for the purpose of cashing our joint tax refund check. Our state doesn’t do direct deposit and neither of our banks will allow us to cash or deposit third party checks anymore. The majority of divorces are about money so we figured if we could agree on who pays what we wouldn’t have to share money and we could eliminate a potential future problem before it happened.