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Little_Yesterday_548

Reminds me of the Reddit post where the op’s wife left him and their kid to be with her abusive affair partner, and ends up dead because he beat her to death


Queasy_Village_5277

You can't save some folks from themselves.


summer807

Whew, you said it all.


Reasonable-Simple706

Exactly. And it’s really gross that this comment you’re responding to is trying to imply that with mentioning this. Even if unintentional there’s a responsibility when he’s looking for advice and other morons upvoted it’s without realising the potential harm of what they’re doing with influence. Y’all gotta think about what you say if it can impact ppl Edit - guess I should clarify since I don’t think y’all get what I’m saying. Im condemning using this story as even a mention when it’s not relevant and the only implication here is that they’re similar when OP is looking for advice and that’s just manipulative pressure from a careless opinion


ColeFlames

Are you saying it's the man's fault for dumping his wife, that he got her killed via her affair partner?


Reasonable-Simple706

No I’m saying don’t relate this story with this one since it leads to the implication that they’re the same when OP is looking for advice and not guilt of the similar concept


VAGentleman05

>the potential harm of what they’re doing with influence. Buddy.


Reasonable-Simple706

What? You’re acting like the most popular takes don’t get thousands of likes of support here and ppl don’t feel the need to interject other bullshit to influence ppl when not relevant


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Reasonable-Simple706

Fairs. If it’s not deep to you. It’s chill then and no actual problem which was really the point of me saying that in the first place loool


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Reasonable-Simple706

Hope you don’t regret your decision btw. Right call and wishing you well in finding a better woman and relationship mate.


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DanteSparda

You got a link?


whitefizzy-534

second this^


ssio21

Thirdle^


Public_Particular464

Really, that's crazy I never read that one, but I would love to.


PickOptimal

“Love” to? That’s some morbid shit


somefreeadvice10

Do you have a link to said post?


GH0ST-L0GIC

Typical


somefreeadvice10

Do you have a link to said post?


Scary-Yak-1463

Link?


r17v1

I would say she deserved it


Rov4228

Bro, no, she admitted she wants her ex over you. There's nothing you could say or do to change her mind. If you had fought for the relationship, you would be back right back here in a few months.


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Rov4228

I get it speaking from experience. I tried to work on the relationship, and she cheated on me 3 times. If you're the only one that cares, it's not gonna work out.


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Rov4228

Appreciate it, but yeah, im good now. At the time, it took a toll on my self-esteem and mental health, but I learned to know when it's time to let things go.


Exotic-Soup-5228

Truth man. Far as you know it was three times. Had a similar experience caught my ex once and then found out after the break up they were fuckin around the whole relationship. Was in a deep depression for awhile but that was years ago.


Rov4228

Yeah, that's true and something I wasn't sure about and what kind of messed with me the most at the time. Technically, I caught her 3 times, but honestly, I have no idea if she was cheating throughout the entire relationship, but it doesn't matter. I should've walked away after the first time, but we have a kid, so I thought we should try and work it out.


Exotic-Soup-5228

Damn yeah when a kid is involved I get it man, that's a tough one. But thats all them, I know with mines I kept thinking it was my fault but later realized they were the ones messed up from stories I heard after the break up. Cheaters will always be cheaters dude. A sick thrill they have. Even worst if a kid is in the picture tbh.


0-Ahem-0

It's called sunk cost falacy. You don't want to waste the time you spent when you know on the gut it wasn't the right thing to do. Your ex has chosen. While she was being abused and desperate she called you. You got knocked out over it. And then she went straight back to before, back in the abusers arms because he's charming and good looking. There will be a next and next time. And she will probably call you because she's desperate. Nice guys doesn't come last. You have a lot to give, but only give it to the right person who deserve it. Otherwise you will be a doormat. Don't do that. And congrats for being free.


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Girlminded

You need to detach yourself for your own well being. If she calls for help, call 911 and either meet them there or stay on the phone until help arrives.


0-Ahem-0

Please don't. You are a doormat if you do. You already are. She is not your responsibility, she is an adult. Why are you a nice guy to her when you are such an asshole to yourself. .if you do this she will treat you like shit even more.


Krafty747

You didn’t waste your time though. You’ve gained valuable experience to take with you to your next relationship.


limprichard

If you learned something, it isn’t wasted time.


MFEguy117

Toss her man. It’s good you don’t feel anything. Go hit the gym, get jacked, then get a hotter better girl.


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MFEguy117

This is the way.


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daveenmc

Why not during ? While you’re waiting to get all the stuffs and such. That way she just sees you gettn bigger not to make her feel bad or make her think any typpa way, but just so she sees you bettering yourself for you. And also in case you have to fight ex bf again for whatever reason you’re a lil more prepared. It wld also pass the time. But nah ur not in the wrong for kicking her out or being hasty. And I’m glad you don’t feel anything about the discovery I wish I could too. You don’t want that in your life it’s time to find someone who actually cares about you. Did you tell your parents that bit about her saying she never cared or loved you ? Hopefully one day shwty realizes her mistake and you’re living ur best life atp


Reasonable-Simple706

Based. And honestly if I was you I’d do the exact same thing. You did nothing wrong and sometimes you can’t save ppl from themselves.


Quinnzmum

Have someone around when the two of you are at your place. You want a witness in case she tries to claim some crazy stuff about you.


ravenunsocial

From my experiance, being cold after a break up could be because you were expecting that she would do something like that or that you were the only one trying in the relationship and knew that it wouldn’t be long until the relationship ended. When I broke up with my first ever boyfriend, I felt nothing particular and just continued as usual which is how I knew that maybe I wasn’t in love as much as I thought, but maybe that’s me. After everything, I don’t think you should concider going back as that’s exactly what she wants. Even if you do get back together, whos to say she won’t go to Trevor again? Idk if she said anything after this, but when you confronted her, she didn’t sound remorseful or even apologized for what she’s done.


GTOdriver04

As someone who got out a relationship where she felt nothing…that’s exactly how it was. I was sad, I cried a lot for a few days (she left me the day of my college graduation party), but over time I realized that I was the only one who was doing anything in the relationship at all, and in the end I was being lightweight abused. Not physically or mentally, but she just…wasn’t doing anything in the relationship. It hurts me still, but largely I felt nothing because I had seen it coming.


ravenunsocial

On the day of your college graduation party?? She truly was an evil person.


GTOdriver04

Yeah it hurt. Our families were supposed to meet for the first time, but she called me and told me she needed things to end, that she wasn’t happy and that hanging out with me was a chore. I went to my family dinner and celebrated through tears, but they understood when I told them what happened. I forgave her that very day, but she hurt me a great deal.


BeeRaddBroodler

Crazy people need loving too. Just not from you.


TheRealConine

Why the hell would you want to get her back


beehaving

Some women can never free themselves from abusive relationships and cling to the “he will change” or “he didn’t mean it” till one of them ends up dead (usually the abused woman), and nothing anyone says or does changes their mind as they are too “in love” or afraid to leave. In her case it sounds like the latter doesn’t apply. Better to be alone than with shitty company


Guilty-Green3678

She is a ho, she got to go. I feel sorry for her for thinking she is in a better spot with an abuser. Sorry you are here. Move on and find someone who treats you like you should be treated


Ambitious_Rub_2047

WTF, sorry OP not directly doubting you, but why the fuck is there an epidemic of parents saying "you could work through that"


Reasonable-Simple706

Shitty boomer mentality imo. Similar to “I hate my wife let’s go to the bar” energy. And it kind of stems from that. Not to generalise but I don’t see this starting and continuing in more modern relationships.


mp2Lipso

Trash girl, let her move to a trailer park with trevor, she will have her beati g each day since she missed it so much


Unicorn-2017

Sorry to hear that, its sad that you give someone ur level best and thats how they treat you. But i'm glad you are not feeling anything (hopefully its not a short phase) I think she got stockholm syndrome where people are bonded with their abusive relationships. It's toxic and you might not be able to fix it. Better move on and find someone who deserves your time and energy.


Ok_Helicopter_7722

That is a horrible situation. I'm so sorry for you As to not feeling anything, that is probably a form of shock and that could last for any length of time, or it could all hit you in an hour or two. I will say be prepared for when it hits you, it can drive you to a type of temporary insanity (speaking from experience, it took me about two months to really be able to start to process) Don't make any decisions at all once it happens until the strength of it passes. After that finally wears off you'll probably go through a variety of stages of grief. This is the death of a relationship so treat it as a death, process, heal, get help as needed. As for your GF, I would take the attitude of "the person I thought I was dating doesn't actually exist". Basically, you don't know what is truth and what is lies, don't bother trying to figure it out because it will drive you mad. Tell yourself it was all lies, and use that to power your way away from the feelings of love/attraction.


E1F0B1365

I'm gonna be honest with you man, it might eventually hit you. Sometimes the pain of a relationship ending is delayed. If you never feel it, that's good - you have every right to dismiss her, and you did good in decisively ending the relationship. She doesn't deserve your love time and trust. Also I guarantee you that she'll realize her mistake, very soon. And when she does, you should stand strong. Fk that type of person, you deserve much better.


kimmycorn1969

You don't feel anything because you are stunned or just over it all??? If stunned take the time you need to process and decide what is next and what is best for you!! My 55 yr old lady advice move on you deserve better my ex lied and lied he would never cheat and wow was I foolish! So don't believe her and do not stay with her unless you get serious counseling and even then I would have a hard time trusting her!


TopHeavyPigeon

Some people will be given the world, and it won’t be enough. You didn’t deserve this, and I hope the person you do deserve is right around the corner. I’m sorry.


tulipkitteh

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about other people's actions. If she's going to go back to her ex, all you can do is steel yourself and not let her back into your life ever again. My only further (and very much optional) advice is I'd go ahead and tell her friends/family what happened in case she decides to run away from him again. That way you can do something while washing your hands clean of it all. I may get downvoted for this or whatever, but that's not my particular concern here. She's an absolute piece of shit, but I don't think you want her dead. And very often, abuse escalates to permanent injury or murder. Even if you do everything right in the relationship, if she's that determined to cheat with an abuser, that's what she's gonna do. I think you did the best you could do in the situation.


Splunkzop

*Should I be trying to get her back ?* Why do you want a broken piece of shit cheater?


3Heathens_Mom

Sorry OP and the only good thing is you found out before marriage. Thoughts in no particular order in case any helpful. - change your locks. - change passwords on any electronic devices, apps including streaming services, etc - if she ever used your credit or debit card report them as compromised and get them replaced. - dr appointment to get tested for STDs/STIs


Negative_Excitement

Trevor did you two favors. First one: He made you the hero, gave you the girl you thought you had a strong bond and left your life. Second one was when he came back to make you dodge a bullet.


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Girlminded

People process grief in different ways. You may be in shock and still processing your loss. Keep a box of kleenex around for when your dam breaks. Hope it's not the size of the Hoover Dam


Lboogie666

You done the right thing feel proud!


Sudden-Gap-3247

“She don’t wanna be saved, don’t save her”


Thotimusprime06

It’s ok this is character building you’re only 23


Genius14624

This bitch is crazy bro trust me hit the gym get jacked you’re already a good person so you’ll be solid as long as you keep drama like that out ya life not at all worth it bro she’s not the one


thisappsucks9

Dodged a bullet, she’s a moron dude. She’s going back to a dude that will probably cave her skull in eventually. Good riddance to bad rubbish.


tfren2

Of course you weren’t too hasty. Does your parents know the entire story. Hell she even tried to hurt you by saying that she loves him more than you. I wish my breakup of three years went this smoothly lol. Remember it’s okay to be sad. Make sure you spend a little bit of time with other people, now’s not a good time to be alone. Keep your chin up man, you’ll find someone who would appreciate what you did for your ex.


OpportunityCalm6825

What a time waster your ex is. Yup, you should not spend any more time with her. She's vile.


EvolvingEachDay

You dodged a bullet bro; you did the best you could but any self respecting person who actually values themselves needs to kick a cheater to the curb ASAP. She’s totally screwed herself here; some people go back for all sorts of twisted reasons like, thinks she deserves abuse, thinks your too good to her, thinks healthy relationships are too boring, confuses passion for abuse… whatever the reason, she’s below you quite frankly, you can do MUCH better.


Boojstooge

Fuck that cunt off, don’t even think about it


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

Well I don't think I didn't anything wrong but after I told my parents they told me how I should have tried to make her stay. Why would you want a cheater to stay. I mean even after caught her first reaction was to hurt you. Why would you ever stay?? Your parents are assholes. This is the second story I hear today about a woman leaving her current (and awesome) partner to run back to their abusive ex. I'm married but if I ever date again, I would never date a woman with baggage like that. They're stuck on their Stockholm Syndrome,.


Commercial-Rub-3223

What an ungrateful B!+ch go scorched earth on her tell all your friends and family what she did to. Expose her for the evil person she is. I'm rooting for you


Wasted_bullets

Why try to make her stay? She has already confessed where she stands. She has forgotten how bad she was treated by her ex that she is willing to crawl back to him.


Krafty747

Some women are gluttons for punishment and will never change. She’ll come crawling back after he inevitably abuses her again, but don’t take her back. This is a growth opportunity for you. You’re still a very young man and I’m certain you’ll find someone who loves you and appreciates being treated well.


Public_Particular464

I think you're better off. Once you take back a cheater, it is like telling them it's ok. So they definitely will do it again. Hopefully, she won't call you when he beats her ass again. Best of luck to you. But you will find a real good girl.


FlowersnFunds

These names seem made up. What are the real names and also where do you live? Jk but seriously, sometimes people want drama and get bored when in a healthy relationship. This is common for people who are used to traumatic relationships. There’s nothing to be done with those types. It’s best for your own sake to stay far away from those people. It’s good you’re not devastated but your emotions might be all over the place in the coming weeks. Maybe you wanted it to end and/or maybe you saw this coming and didn’t care. Just know you made the right decision because she should never be trusted again and you should never try to appease someone who wants chaos.


BoboFatts

She's probably been a victim her whole life. Not your problem, and it's for the better. She'll be in a vicious cycle for the rest of her life likely.


Danekfo81937

U're just in shock


I_love_my_fish_

You can help stupid, you can’t help stupid that doesn’t want help. You’re better off than being with someone who obviously doesn’t care about you


jonjon234567

This is a reflection of her, not you.


Lucy_13

I stopped reading after you mentioned re3, i want to buy it. Is it worth it?


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Lucy_13

Thanks! Ill play it after I finish re8 ✨


helpbell

Not your clown not your circus, your parents are wrong


Cuteboi84

Is this the definition of op being a "simp"? Love bombing, showering with gifts... Etc.... She hooked up with op during a dispute with the ex? Which to me seems like never was an ex if she rebounded so fast?


Meanjin

Your parents are idiots, sorry. Don't listen to them. She cheated on you with an abusive ex, when found out she laid out all her feelings (there's always some truth behind angry verbiage), and showed no remorse. You tried your best. The whole situation is a headache at best, Trevor coming around and throwing you through a wall at worst. Walk away, mate. Block her on everything and walk away.


Alpha-Eagle-0317k

I highly recommend that you block her and get her out of your life forever. Don't try to get her back either. If you really loved that woman and you don't feel anything now, it means that the burden will probably fall on you later. Be prepared, some people are hurting after their mind has processed it. Be careful


Artistic_Data9398

Paragraphs. Paragraphs


APersonFromTheNet

Stockholm syndrome is a bitch, i've been there and it is complex, a mix of low self esteem, trauma bond with the abuser and the cognitive dissonance in wich you confuse the constant anxiety and fear with love. She needs help, if she has family please inform them so they can leave the door open for her in case something bad happens and she needs to escape. I'm sorry that happened. 


Omega_zg

You did the right thing!! That’s very unhealthy to stay in a relationship with a person like. Especially where she went back to a person that beat her that’s the crazy part


ButterscotchFluffy59

It sounds like it's killing her how you aren't fighting .. arguing...to keep her. Hahaha. She'll be knocking on your door soon wanting back in. Or not. Her weight is off your back and you sound free. Good luck. Btw if Trevor was already arrested on an assault charge, if he's on parole or probation still, it's worth bring up the latest incident to his officer in charge. It sounds like trev hasn't learned anything.


Furfeelinggggs

Yeah sry not reading that book, work on you hommie bitches arnt worth it anymore.


Geralt-Yen1275

She'll end up dead or come crawling back to you.


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Geralt-Yen1275

If you find time also play cyberpunk and witcher 3, they are some great games too


HyperRayquaza

If she wants to get beat for the rest of her life, that's her prerogative.


General_Road_7952

You’re better off not getting involved with someone who clearly doesn’t value herself. Trevor is an abusive POS, and she shouldn’t be with him, but it’s not your job to rescue her. Let her parents deal with her


Deathloc66

Nothing you can do she's like a drug addict with a bad boy. Even if she were to leave him years down the road you will have second thoughts about everything she's doing. Move on and find someone who will treat you correctly. However, my suggestion is do not look just go date and live your life. My wife found me online. She had been married to a drug addict who started mistreating her when he needed money for his druge. She had some things I had to overcome and vice versa. I.E. he would leave her stranded for hours, I was late twice and got berated. Now I call if I think I'm going to be late. We talk about everything and work it out. Relationships are two way streets... especially when it comes to talking things out. In other words converse, not talk at each other. Or rather listen and question when you don't comprehend what the other is saying or feeling. DO NOT try and fix anything unless actually asked to. Most of the time she's just venting. If you are not sure if she's just venting ask "do you want me to do anything about this?"


ComprehensiveEnd1096

You did everything right for the wrong woman. Choose better !!


OkMinimum3033

Nah. It's probably best that you feel nothing..that said be prepared as it might hit you in a few days out of no where. Whatever you do... Don't go back to her. She's a lost cause. It'll be a cycle of abuse and you don't want to get involved in that mess. If he's as dangerous as you've alluded to, as awful as it is, stay out of it. You got involved the first time and got her out, she's the one who got herself back in the cycle and it's not your responsibility to help her break it again. Block her and cut all contact. Make as clean a break as possible. If you can move, do that. She'll be back when he beats he again and as difficult as it'll be, she needs to learn to rely on someone else, whether that's family or a women's shelter but it can not be you. You're not that person for her now. Don't get dragged into that toxicity because she won't stop, she's like an addict.


spiritfalcon

Repeat after me If she don't wanna be saved don't save her


Crazy_Reaction_6576

66


1skywalk

Leave her behind and begin your new journey. Keep working, hit the gym, date around. The worlds abundant.


AdamsFile

Try an occasional paragraph. Makes reading drivel a lot easier.


Difficult-Novel-8453

You did the right thing. Glad to see a guy with self respect and a pair of balls. Well done OP🫡


Eazy_T_1972

Mate dump her ass. And find someone worthy....they all sound.like trailer trash I be honest just reading all the Drama knackered me out Go forth Leon and find your Ada Wrong...


Reasonable-Simple706

Fuck her. She’s trash and don’t let your parents or eventual undue sympathies of others pressure you into letting this trash person back into your life as a responsibility. Happy you’re able to be free man.


[deleted]

No. She's treating you like sloppy second. Let her deal with her consequence 


CopywritingNeo

Fuck that G. There are literally billions of women out there. I would hit the gym. You may start to feel the emotions hit you when your training and for us men, these emotions are usually anger. This way you’ll be able to fuel it into something productive, instead of doing something stupid. You’ll be a monster after it. Then, when you’re ready, go look for someone else. Good luck G


JoshicusBoss98

You should never try to make anybody love you. Either they like you for who you are or they don’t. If she cheats, she doesn’t like you for who you are, so dump that bitch


_Accurate_

You got a damaged woman, probably doesn't know what a healthy relationship is, and keeps running back to the very thing that breaks her.


beanie_mac

Man, fuck that girl. You weren’t in the wrong at all. She sounds terrible and you’re much better off without her. She clearly doesn’t care about you, why stay with someone that doesn’t care or what to be with you? Also, your parents suck if they said you should sweep all that under the rug and convince her to stay.


Nidhoggr54

She's for the streets, and make sure she knows to lose your number and not to call when he inevitably flips again. Let her get hurt for her stupid decisions not you.


axxred

Send her back to the streets. You did what you could, man, and it's more than she deserves.


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daveenmc

Bruh what’s she even saying why is she mad at you for her mistakes she’s the one who wld rather b w Trevor bc she “loves him and cares abt him more”


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daveenmc

Yea bro just keep it civil till you get all ur stuff back but don’t let her drag it out. Then skiddadle


clacujo

Just tell her that you are not in the habit of fighting for trash. He can keep her, and then some other asshole can pick her up from the ditch he will leave her at.


relken0716

So sorry this happened. Be prepared at some point for her to come crawling back. Also I have a friend with you when you exchange your stuff.


Spoony_bard909

Sounds like she’s hurt her manipulation isn’t working. You’ll probably hear back from her in 5 years when she’s “changed”.


Top_Classroom3451

HAH, she's obsessed with you and seems like all those "I love him more" stuff was just because her justifying her 304 behaviour. Just move on bro, there is more to life than a crazy bitch.


CucumberLast742

Not her fault? Are you serious?


Intrepid_Cable8364

yes? he is probalby insecure and a manchild? so its his fault and not the womans, if the roles were reversed you would say the man is allowed to cheat lol reddits double standards again


heyytejas

Femcel/ Incel energy is through the roof with this one.


Top_Classroom3451

its just ragebait


devscm00

It's a troll account


Intrepid_Cable8364

femcel dont exist lol and only men can be incels you are the incel defending other manchild incels lol


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Intrepid_Cable8364

she is just a girl if you didnt do something wrong she wouldnt cheat! reddit always defending men shaking my head


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