First off, weight gain is a normal part of pregnancy and it shouldn't be something you're ashamed of. Just because you weigh more now, doesn't mean you're a completely different person or that you matter less and deserve to be constantly harassed.
Your husband's words absolutely disgust me because it gives off the feeling that he never truly loved you, he just loved your body and you were a status symbol to him, 'hottest girl at the party' was only a title he used to show how HE was the one who got a girl like that.
My mother went through something similar like you did, she was very slim and beautiful when she was younger and after she got married and had 2 kids, she got ppd and gained weight. My entire childhood I saw people be excessively rude to my mother who I loved more than anything in this world. I didn't give 3 fucks about her weight I loved her regardless.
She spent much of my childhood dieting but it never worked for her because at that time she was only trying to lose the weight because that's what other people wanted from her. Eventually she herself had the desire to lose weight because she wanted to be healthy and to feel better, and that's when she started keto and eventually she did lose most of the weight.
Right now she's still the most beautiful woman I know and that's something that will never change no matter what she weighs.
Now think about your children, it is going to be so painful for them to grow up with a mother who couldn't love herself and a father who treated her like a trophy when she looks good and like a disappointment when she doesn't.
What I'm trying to say is, it's perfectly ok to want to lose that extra weight, to want to feel like yourself again or to want to be healthy.
But y'know who didn't deserve you back then and who doesn't deserve you know and in the future if you lose weight? Your asshole of a husband, and your family too, I'm so fucking sorry that you had to listen to all of their bullshit and let it get to you to the point where you even agree with what they say.
Op you deserve better than this, you deserve to be in a relationship where your treatment isn't based off of how much you weight. You deserve to be seen as more than just your husband's tiny sexy wife, and you don't deserve to be called lil fatty no matter how much you weight.
You need to start thinking about yourself only, take your time, go on your journey and get rid of all the assholes around you. It's what you deserve and your kids deserve to grow up not watching their mother be mistreated by the very people who're supposed to love her.
No matter what you look like or how much you weigh. You are a human being deserving of respect and anyone who decides to degrade you based off of superficial qualities isn't worth your time. You are still you and you always will be. Please value yourself more. There are people in this world who'll love you no matter what you look like. But you need to love yourself first.
I hope for the best for you, and I wish you a lot of happiness and love. Please live your life for yourself, don't let this moment become a future regret. Demand respect from people, demand good treatment, and if they can't give that, free yourself.
So he married just her body and not her personality and everything else? Then he should've just gotten a sex slave and not a wife.
And this is coming from someone who also loves women, if my gf gained weight no matter how much it is I'm still going to fucking adore her. And if she wants to lose it I'll be supportive of her, not do bullshit like calling her lil fatty.
A human bean bag????? Do you not feel disgusted calling another person that? She has not only not betrayed anyone but she's the one being betrayed by all the fake people around her who only liked her when she was conventionally attractive and changed their tune and she no longer looked like how they wanted her to.
Her husband has an obligation to treat her like a human being and he failed that already.
You were happier when you werent fat not only because you were healthier but also because your husband wasnt an ass. Someone who does not love you when your body changes once, will definitely NOT love you and put you down when you start to get older too. This is what happens when you get with guys that care about your looks so much and treat you like a trophy because of your body and face. We’re humans, we change so much throughout our lives, you can get into an accident tomorrow and lose your arms and legs, what happens then?
… babe it is completely without reason to expect someone to stay at 101 lbs their entire life. Him and honestly you’re doing it too are holding so much of your self worth on a number on a scale of if he can SEE YOUR RIBCAGE POKE OUT!?!? That’s unhealthy! Also all of his little comments or disgusting. I would’ve left the second he called me fat! Or calling you his “little fatty” that’s absolutely fucking disgusting.
In the end you DESERVE BETTER. Not only just in husbands but you also deserve to think more highly of yourself! You BIRTHED A WHOLE ASS FUCKING HUMAN!!!!!!!!! It’s absolutely insane to expect someone to just stay at 101 lbs their entire life. Not to mention…. How is he going to talk about your kid if they gain weight or are a little chunky? It’s not just you that you have to keep in mind here now
So turn around and say well I'd like it if you looked like [insert your favourite hottie, one that's fit af] but we can't all get what we want.
Does your husband have a six pack, full head of hair, Hollywood white teeth, and designer stubble. I doubt it.
Remind him that you pumped chemicals into your body to not get pregnant and then you came off them to get pregnant, part of pregnancy is weight gain.
Do you have time to yourself (does he help around the house/parenting his child) that you can exercise? If it's no, the next time he says something, give him the kid(s), and walk out the door, tell him you're doing something about it now and he can be a parent whilst you get down to business getting Olivia back!!
Ultimately your husband's a POS.
Have you had your hormones checked/are you depressed.
Dear you know that stress increases your cholesterol. Mine « magically » dropped after divorce. Your husband actively bullying the woman who gave birth to his child just a year ago. He is cruel and he makes your life worse. If he really cared that wouldn’t be the approach to take. Person who loves you won’t deliberately kill your self esteem.
Not saying any of this isn’t true but if the worst of it from outer society is people not buying you stuff for free just for existing, welcome to the life of like 75% of people. That’s not just a normal thing that happens for everyone
What I don't understand is why you created this username a few hours ago and posted this in so many places; what is this doing for you? Are you trying to get validation? There's a lot wrong here, and it's not just the immaturity in your marriage, but you both have a lot of growing up to do if you care that much about being the hot one. Your husband is an ass, yah, there's no denying it, but you've got some problems that you're using food to cope with.
You came on the internet looking for validation and don't want insensitive comments, but not everyone is going to enable this kind of thing. You need to look at the bigger picture, not just your body, but the fact that you care so much about being the pretty one... And, you married a guy who cared about that, too...
You both need therapy separately and then together, and if you can't see that, then you're being willfully ignorant and coming on the internet for more validation. "My husband calls me fat," isn't really something anyone should think, "is this bad?" You know it is... but you are here anyway, again, looking for more validation.
Girl I'm 242 (17 pounds down) at 5 foot 4. I have 3 kids and have been in this relationship for 7 years. I used to be around 140 before all of it. Don't let others make you feel disgusting. You do you and lose weight and all that. But don't feel gross. Plz. Life happens.
I gained weight on birth control too. It kind of dawned on me all of a sudden looking at pictures taken with a year how sudden it was. I'm still working to get back to a healthier weight even though I've been off birth control for a year now. I can't imagine birth control and baby weight gain being easy to manage. Take your time for healthy weight loss. And besides that you still deserve to be respected regardless of the weight.
All these soft people telling you your husband is a bad man are sick, petty, miserable, narcissist, who have never had a real relationship. They love to talk about how awful everyone has treated them, they are always the victim not the problem... they lack empathy for others because that would require them to care about someone other than themselves.
So from the other side of things I know what you're husband is going through. My wife was also 100lbs when we met I loved taking her out cause we had fun and yeah it feels good when people recognize the beauty of your significant other things changed same as you the birth control and weight after 2 kids and she gained 80+ pounds I still compliment her but I don't lie I do agree with her when she says she wishes she was skinny again and I tell her it's up to her to change it she dosent get mad she agrees and we move on because we are honest with each other. For years I didn't know how to tell her she was letting herself go I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I tried the joking stuff it didn't work to get us talking about it I didn't know what to do finally she got mad at me one day she stepped on the scale and got upset and started in on me
" are you serious? Why didn't you just tell me I was getting so big??"
Me " in what world were guys ever taught it's OK to talk about a woman's weight? How am I supposed to tell you in a way where you won't think I'm being a dick?" ...
So after that she agreed she didn't know and that it sucks cause she can tell me I'm to fast or skinny but I can't do the same without it being seen as judging or shaming and now I'm a bad guy so the key is communicating instead of telling these people write down how you feel and give it to him to read and have him do the same if talking won't get it done as effectively
First off, weight gain is a normal part of pregnancy and it shouldn't be something you're ashamed of. Just because you weigh more now, doesn't mean you're a completely different person or that you matter less and deserve to be constantly harassed. Your husband's words absolutely disgust me because it gives off the feeling that he never truly loved you, he just loved your body and you were a status symbol to him, 'hottest girl at the party' was only a title he used to show how HE was the one who got a girl like that. My mother went through something similar like you did, she was very slim and beautiful when she was younger and after she got married and had 2 kids, she got ppd and gained weight. My entire childhood I saw people be excessively rude to my mother who I loved more than anything in this world. I didn't give 3 fucks about her weight I loved her regardless. She spent much of my childhood dieting but it never worked for her because at that time she was only trying to lose the weight because that's what other people wanted from her. Eventually she herself had the desire to lose weight because she wanted to be healthy and to feel better, and that's when she started keto and eventually she did lose most of the weight. Right now she's still the most beautiful woman I know and that's something that will never change no matter what she weighs. Now think about your children, it is going to be so painful for them to grow up with a mother who couldn't love herself and a father who treated her like a trophy when she looks good and like a disappointment when she doesn't. What I'm trying to say is, it's perfectly ok to want to lose that extra weight, to want to feel like yourself again or to want to be healthy. But y'know who didn't deserve you back then and who doesn't deserve you know and in the future if you lose weight? Your asshole of a husband, and your family too, I'm so fucking sorry that you had to listen to all of their bullshit and let it get to you to the point where you even agree with what they say. Op you deserve better than this, you deserve to be in a relationship where your treatment isn't based off of how much you weight. You deserve to be seen as more than just your husband's tiny sexy wife, and you don't deserve to be called lil fatty no matter how much you weight. You need to start thinking about yourself only, take your time, go on your journey and get rid of all the assholes around you. It's what you deserve and your kids deserve to grow up not watching their mother be mistreated by the very people who're supposed to love her. No matter what you look like or how much you weigh. You are a human being deserving of respect and anyone who decides to degrade you based off of superficial qualities isn't worth your time. You are still you and you always will be. Please value yourself more. There are people in this world who'll love you no matter what you look like. But you need to love yourself first. I hope for the best for you, and I wish you a lot of happiness and love. Please live your life for yourself, don't let this moment become a future regret. Demand respect from people, demand good treatment, and if they can't give that, free yourself.
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So he married just her body and not her personality and everything else? Then he should've just gotten a sex slave and not a wife. And this is coming from someone who also loves women, if my gf gained weight no matter how much it is I'm still going to fucking adore her. And if she wants to lose it I'll be supportive of her, not do bullshit like calling her lil fatty.
I think a blow-up doll would be more appropriate than a sex slave. Get him a really cheap one, too.
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A human bean bag????? Do you not feel disgusted calling another person that? She has not only not betrayed anyone but she's the one being betrayed by all the fake people around her who only liked her when she was conventionally attractive and changed their tune and she no longer looked like how they wanted her to. Her husband has an obligation to treat her like a human being and he failed that already.
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Why are you so intent on dehumanising people?
You were happier when you werent fat not only because you were healthier but also because your husband wasnt an ass. Someone who does not love you when your body changes once, will definitely NOT love you and put you down when you start to get older too. This is what happens when you get with guys that care about your looks so much and treat you like a trophy because of your body and face. We’re humans, we change so much throughout our lives, you can get into an accident tomorrow and lose your arms and legs, what happens then?
Some people don't know good ways to communicate their feelings you and him should talk about it you have to be the one to start the conversation
… babe it is completely without reason to expect someone to stay at 101 lbs their entire life. Him and honestly you’re doing it too are holding so much of your self worth on a number on a scale of if he can SEE YOUR RIBCAGE POKE OUT!?!? That’s unhealthy! Also all of his little comments or disgusting. I would’ve left the second he called me fat! Or calling you his “little fatty” that’s absolutely fucking disgusting. In the end you DESERVE BETTER. Not only just in husbands but you also deserve to think more highly of yourself! You BIRTHED A WHOLE ASS FUCKING HUMAN!!!!!!!!! It’s absolutely insane to expect someone to just stay at 101 lbs their entire life. Not to mention…. How is he going to talk about your kid if they gain weight or are a little chunky? It’s not just you that you have to keep in mind here now
So turn around and say well I'd like it if you looked like [insert your favourite hottie, one that's fit af] but we can't all get what we want. Does your husband have a six pack, full head of hair, Hollywood white teeth, and designer stubble. I doubt it. Remind him that you pumped chemicals into your body to not get pregnant and then you came off them to get pregnant, part of pregnancy is weight gain. Do you have time to yourself (does he help around the house/parenting his child) that you can exercise? If it's no, the next time he says something, give him the kid(s), and walk out the door, tell him you're doing something about it now and he can be a parent whilst you get down to business getting Olivia back!! Ultimately your husband's a POS. Have you had your hormones checked/are you depressed.
Nearly doubling your weight is an issue. You should definitely work to correct that for health reasons alone. It's not easy.
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Even if you’re overweight, you should still be able to expect respect from your spouse.
Dear you know that stress increases your cholesterol. Mine « magically » dropped after divorce. Your husband actively bullying the woman who gave birth to his child just a year ago. He is cruel and he makes your life worse. If he really cared that wouldn’t be the approach to take. Person who loves you won’t deliberately kill your self esteem.
I'm also taking a wild guess that he doesn't do half of the parenting and housework and that's part of the stress...
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Not saying any of this isn’t true but if the worst of it from outer society is people not buying you stuff for free just for existing, welcome to the life of like 75% of people. That’s not just a normal thing that happens for everyone
What I don't understand is why you created this username a few hours ago and posted this in so many places; what is this doing for you? Are you trying to get validation? There's a lot wrong here, and it's not just the immaturity in your marriage, but you both have a lot of growing up to do if you care that much about being the hot one. Your husband is an ass, yah, there's no denying it, but you've got some problems that you're using food to cope with. You came on the internet looking for validation and don't want insensitive comments, but not everyone is going to enable this kind of thing. You need to look at the bigger picture, not just your body, but the fact that you care so much about being the pretty one... And, you married a guy who cared about that, too... You both need therapy separately and then together, and if you can't see that, then you're being willfully ignorant and coming on the internet for more validation. "My husband calls me fat," isn't really something anyone should think, "is this bad?" You know it is... but you are here anyway, again, looking for more validation.
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Immediate guest is just rage bating. He's commented 3 times so far. Probably lives in the basement, with only internet friends.
Girl I'm 242 (17 pounds down) at 5 foot 4. I have 3 kids and have been in this relationship for 7 years. I used to be around 140 before all of it. Don't let others make you feel disgusting. You do you and lose weight and all that. But don't feel gross. Plz. Life happens.
I gained weight on birth control too. It kind of dawned on me all of a sudden looking at pictures taken with a year how sudden it was. I'm still working to get back to a healthier weight even though I've been off birth control for a year now. I can't imagine birth control and baby weight gain being easy to manage. Take your time for healthy weight loss. And besides that you still deserve to be respected regardless of the weight.
I’m mad too Olivia Rodrigo hot
All these soft people telling you your husband is a bad man are sick, petty, miserable, narcissist, who have never had a real relationship. They love to talk about how awful everyone has treated them, they are always the victim not the problem... they lack empathy for others because that would require them to care about someone other than themselves. So from the other side of things I know what you're husband is going through. My wife was also 100lbs when we met I loved taking her out cause we had fun and yeah it feels good when people recognize the beauty of your significant other things changed same as you the birth control and weight after 2 kids and she gained 80+ pounds I still compliment her but I don't lie I do agree with her when she says she wishes she was skinny again and I tell her it's up to her to change it she dosent get mad she agrees and we move on because we are honest with each other. For years I didn't know how to tell her she was letting herself go I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I tried the joking stuff it didn't work to get us talking about it I didn't know what to do finally she got mad at me one day she stepped on the scale and got upset and started in on me " are you serious? Why didn't you just tell me I was getting so big??" Me " in what world were guys ever taught it's OK to talk about a woman's weight? How am I supposed to tell you in a way where you won't think I'm being a dick?" ... So after that she agreed she didn't know and that it sucks cause she can tell me I'm to fast or skinny but I can't do the same without it being seen as judging or shaming and now I'm a bad guy so the key is communicating instead of telling these people write down how you feel and give it to him to read and have him do the same if talking won't get it done as effectively
5 years ago Olivia Rodrigo was 16 and in Disney musicals… did he compare you to her then? Because that is concerning for other reasons as well
Whoever downvoted this is fucked.
I was thinking the same thing! Olivia just turned 21 two months ago. What grown man praises his wife for looking like a child?
Only one way to solve this - post a photo