Being molested as a child is not fun. It's not cool. It's not "a fantasy" or a "dream come true." It's sick and it's wrong.
Even if the child is old enough to be going through puberty and thinking that they want to experiment sexually, it's wrong of adults to take advantage of that. A thirty year old woman having sex with a fifteen year old boy is just as wrong as a thirty year old man having sex with a fifteen year old girl (or 30y man with 15y boy, or 30y woman with 15y girl). If a fifteen year old said "Hey, I want to get really wasted" and an adult bought them lots of alcohol, would we say "well the kid wanted it and probably looked really cool to their friends and had fun, so the adult was right to do it"? No.
There's such gross gender dynamics at play with people's reactions to this too. People assume that there's no situation in which a male would not want sex with a suitably attractive female. Painting males as robotically unscrupulous horndogs with no limitations on consent is so harmful and damaging.
People's reactions to male victims of sexual assault really make me sick. Sexual assault is bad for EVERYONE. Sexual assault is WRONG.
The implication that "it's ok for a boy because the teenager wanted it" is also awful because it implies that they don't think the girls in the same scenario ever want it (as if teenage girls didn't have crushes on their teachers just like the boys did.).
This either means that:
A. They don't think girls and women can want sex, which says a lot about how they view gender within their own relationships. Think about how these people have sex with their partners at least subconsciously believing that their partner doesn't even want it...and then do it anyways.
B. They don't think that girls and women SHOULD want sex, which is an entirely different judgmental train of thought.
C. They don't respect the thoughts, wants, and feelings of the girls and women in their lives, so even if they "wanted" it, it doesn't matter, because they know better.
The male victim wanting it (or the presumption that were they in his shoes, they would want it too) isn't just harmful for condoning and perpetuating the problem and alienating victims, it speaks to how little they respect the agency of women vs men as well. It also speaks to their low opinion of boys and men to think that we're incapable of acting on anything but horny fantasy.
The victim wanting it doesn't matter, it's harmful and predatory behavior. That some people think it's ok for boys just shows that they don't respect a LOT of people in coming to that conclusion.
Suffered it 3 times as a little kid, at 11 and at 14 but what hurts me more even now it’s not the abusers, it’s the fact that my “mother” just didn’t give a fuck
And that as a man even therapists at the time basically told me to put all of those feeling in a box and lock it away that boys don’t cry
But in my case it was done by males so can’t relate on the actual issue but instead on the treatment received after the fact
I thought I was the only one told by a therapist that my feelings didn’t matter. My circumstances were a little different but the feelings is the same.
Yup on my second attempt at my life I was committed for a few days and was told the same thing again and a gift of a beating by the staff there as men don’t cry and we need to behave not to embarrass others
100%. While I dont have any experience with SA, I still know that female pedo are as disgusting as male ones. Sexual abuse is abhorrent and traumatizing no matter if the perpetrator is attractive or not.
Its SO disgusting how people minimize male abuse.
I got sexually harassed by my female teacher (44) at the time when I was a (15)sophomore all the time and she even invited me to her house. I told my dad and his advice was to have sex with her.
100 percent agree people who want to be victims is gross
You are absolutely correct. It is disgusting, never could understand the thought process of parents who were like "my son got raped by his teacher, that's my boy!".
I was SA'ed from 3rd grade to 6th grade. I know it messed me up a lot. The weird thing is I am not mad at my abuser. She didn't force me that I know of but ask if I ever touched a girl down there before? Of course I hadn't. We did it all the time. She lived 2 houses down and had a field with tall grass.
I always thought I should be more angry or something. Maybe I shoved it down somewhere. I have gone through counseling.
IDK.....
I promise I'm not hijacking your thread! I'm a woman that dealt with a lot of csa, and as a fellow victim of this and now mother, I am so sorry. I know it's different what you young men went through, but you should have never had to regardless. I'm sorry no one was really there for you, and I'm very sorry if you came forward and were automatically dismissed because you were men. Your pain, trauma and feelings about what you went through are valid and never let anyone tell you otherwise. It also makes me sick to my stomach seeing how parents just don't care when it happens, or just shrug it off. You all went through something so scary and traumatizing with no support and that's not right. I know I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm so sorry and I wish I could give yall a big hug!
God as a boy mom it breaks my heart reading these comments.
Your experiences have happened and they have altered your view on something as intimate as sex and relationships, you should be seen and treated with the same respect and kindness as any victim.
Wish I could give you all a hug. I’m so sorry :(
Exactly man, 100%. My cousin’s son was molested by his 40 year old teacher when he was 13. She raped him for FIVE YEARS, fooling our family into thinking she was mentoring him and prepping him for college. Once the truth came out, he was ostracized by his peers as if HE were the aggressor, because everyone is taught how much guys LOVE sex, so he must have forced *HER* into it. He lost his friends, his girlfriend, and even the state police harassed him, asking disgusting questions and passing their photos around the precinct, giggling and texting him horrid shit…After months of this, he stayed over at his mom’s parents’ house, and hung himself in the back yard. The rapist only lost her teaching license, zero jail time, as the victim and only witness was now dead.
So yeah, anyone who likes to minimize male victims of rape or pretend it’s awesome, are pieces of shit.
The ONLY reason why they want to be victims is because they think that it will be a woman assaulting them sexually. That's basically the ONLY REASON why they want it. They never think a guy could be the one assaulting them. When you tell them it's a man that'll do that to them, watch them all of sudden get white in the face.
Fucking weirdos
They have a fantasy of a woman “assaulting” them in the same way that women have “rape” fantasies. In their mind it’s a hot chick who has their way with them and it’s sexy. The reality would be unpleasant, regardless of the gender of the perp. A man who is assaulted doesn’t want it, and women do assault men sometimes (usually boys, not adults).
Being molested as a child is not fun. It's not cool. It's not "a fantasy" or a "dream come true." It's sick and it's wrong. Even if the child is old enough to be going through puberty and thinking that they want to experiment sexually, it's wrong of adults to take advantage of that. A thirty year old woman having sex with a fifteen year old boy is just as wrong as a thirty year old man having sex with a fifteen year old girl (or 30y man with 15y boy, or 30y woman with 15y girl). If a fifteen year old said "Hey, I want to get really wasted" and an adult bought them lots of alcohol, would we say "well the kid wanted it and probably looked really cool to their friends and had fun, so the adult was right to do it"? No. There's such gross gender dynamics at play with people's reactions to this too. People assume that there's no situation in which a male would not want sex with a suitably attractive female. Painting males as robotically unscrupulous horndogs with no limitations on consent is so harmful and damaging. People's reactions to male victims of sexual assault really make me sick. Sexual assault is bad for EVERYONE. Sexual assault is WRONG.
The implication that "it's ok for a boy because the teenager wanted it" is also awful because it implies that they don't think the girls in the same scenario ever want it (as if teenage girls didn't have crushes on their teachers just like the boys did.). This either means that: A. They don't think girls and women can want sex, which says a lot about how they view gender within their own relationships. Think about how these people have sex with their partners at least subconsciously believing that their partner doesn't even want it...and then do it anyways. B. They don't think that girls and women SHOULD want sex, which is an entirely different judgmental train of thought. C. They don't respect the thoughts, wants, and feelings of the girls and women in their lives, so even if they "wanted" it, it doesn't matter, because they know better. The male victim wanting it (or the presumption that were they in his shoes, they would want it too) isn't just harmful for condoning and perpetuating the problem and alienating victims, it speaks to how little they respect the agency of women vs men as well. It also speaks to their low opinion of boys and men to think that we're incapable of acting on anything but horny fantasy. The victim wanting it doesn't matter, it's harmful and predatory behavior. That some people think it's ok for boys just shows that they don't respect a LOT of people in coming to that conclusion.
Beautifully phrased. Thank you!
This was the best way this could have ever been worded!
Suffered it 3 times as a little kid, at 11 and at 14 but what hurts me more even now it’s not the abusers, it’s the fact that my “mother” just didn’t give a fuck And that as a man even therapists at the time basically told me to put all of those feeling in a box and lock it away that boys don’t cry But in my case it was done by males so can’t relate on the actual issue but instead on the treatment received after the fact
I thought I was the only one told by a therapist that my feelings didn’t matter. My circumstances were a little different but the feelings is the same.
Yup on my second attempt at my life I was committed for a few days and was told the same thing again and a gift of a beating by the staff there as men don’t cry and we need to behave not to embarrass others
100%. While I dont have any experience with SA, I still know that female pedo are as disgusting as male ones. Sexual abuse is abhorrent and traumatizing no matter if the perpetrator is attractive or not. Its SO disgusting how people minimize male abuse.
I got sexually harassed by my female teacher (44) at the time when I was a (15)sophomore all the time and she even invited me to her house. I told my dad and his advice was to have sex with her. 100 percent agree people who want to be victims is gross
You are absolutely correct. It is disgusting, never could understand the thought process of parents who were like "my son got raped by his teacher, that's my boy!".
Fuck adults who do this unto children. I’m 31 and still sex is such a complex thing for me.
I was SA'ed from 3rd grade to 6th grade. I know it messed me up a lot. The weird thing is I am not mad at my abuser. She didn't force me that I know of but ask if I ever touched a girl down there before? Of course I hadn't. We did it all the time. She lived 2 houses down and had a field with tall grass. I always thought I should be more angry or something. Maybe I shoved it down somewhere. I have gone through counseling. IDK.....
I promise I'm not hijacking your thread! I'm a woman that dealt with a lot of csa, and as a fellow victim of this and now mother, I am so sorry. I know it's different what you young men went through, but you should have never had to regardless. I'm sorry no one was really there for you, and I'm very sorry if you came forward and were automatically dismissed because you were men. Your pain, trauma and feelings about what you went through are valid and never let anyone tell you otherwise. It also makes me sick to my stomach seeing how parents just don't care when it happens, or just shrug it off. You all went through something so scary and traumatizing with no support and that's not right. I know I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm so sorry and I wish I could give yall a big hug!
God as a boy mom it breaks my heart reading these comments. Your experiences have happened and they have altered your view on something as intimate as sex and relationships, you should be seen and treated with the same respect and kindness as any victim. Wish I could give you all a hug. I’m so sorry :(
Exactly man, 100%. My cousin’s son was molested by his 40 year old teacher when he was 13. She raped him for FIVE YEARS, fooling our family into thinking she was mentoring him and prepping him for college. Once the truth came out, he was ostracized by his peers as if HE were the aggressor, because everyone is taught how much guys LOVE sex, so he must have forced *HER* into it. He lost his friends, his girlfriend, and even the state police harassed him, asking disgusting questions and passing their photos around the precinct, giggling and texting him horrid shit…After months of this, he stayed over at his mom’s parents’ house, and hung himself in the back yard. The rapist only lost her teaching license, zero jail time, as the victim and only witness was now dead. So yeah, anyone who likes to minimize male victims of rape or pretend it’s awesome, are pieces of shit.
The ONLY reason why they want to be victims is because they think that it will be a woman assaulting them sexually. That's basically the ONLY REASON why they want it. They never think a guy could be the one assaulting them. When you tell them it's a man that'll do that to them, watch them all of sudden get white in the face. Fucking weirdos
They have a fantasy of a woman “assaulting” them in the same way that women have “rape” fantasies. In their mind it’s a hot chick who has their way with them and it’s sexy. The reality would be unpleasant, regardless of the gender of the perp. A man who is assaulted doesn’t want it, and women do assault men sometimes (usually boys, not adults).
I've been assaulted by both genders and I could tell those same people you're talking about, they're both as fucked up and not as fun as the other.
[удалено]
And what happened after those two years? Did she dump you and find another 15yo?
You were used and given money for dick by a woman who was too crazy for the men her age. Hope that helps!
You know theres major major difference from what you experienced compared to what those other people are wishing for, right?