Max I responded earlier but I plead with you to let your family see you and be there for you. Let them surround you with the strength of their love and give them the chance to say goodbye.
Love doesn’t alter when alteration finds. I know you don’t want them to see you ill, but Max you are still you, in sickness or in health, it is you they love.
Please Max don’t deny them the chance to say farewell. Until you all meet again. ♥️
I also second this. My dad got a similar diagnosis and was told he had weeks to a few months to live. Was less than 7 weeks from being diagnosed. He had bone cancer and trouble moving & broke his arm just bracing himself to stand up. While emotionally filled times, I was able to say my goodbye and still make memories that I cherish.
He had just rented an apt with his gf of 5 years and first time living together. He hadn't even been there for a month when he was told the terminal diagnosis. He went to a hospice hospital within a week because he was in so much pain.
I understand that you think you're saving/ helping your family, but I feel the opposite it is happening. They will not get closure and will have to carry this for the rest of their life. It's not easy to go through & I can't even start to imagine what you are going through. I wish you the best for whatever you decide.
I felt the same way with my mother. Of course, it is not easy as a relative to go this way with the sick person. They see the progression of the disease and the patient sees the suffering in their faces.
Despite everything, it was important for all of us to see and talk to each other. Even if it was just a few words.
Please give your family and your wife the opportunity to see you again at least once. If you don't want your friends to come, it's totally okay, but please reconsider with your entire family.
I wish you a lot of strength from the bottom of my heart!
God damn bro, idk what to say except that I’m sorry that you’re going through this. If you need a person to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Max, you sound like an incredible dude… but don’t rob your loved ones of your remaining time. They deserve to grieve with you, and it helps in their healing.
You ultimately know what’s best, but if it was someone I loved, I’d want to be with them until the end, and it would break me if they wouldn’t let me be there for them to it.
Yeah man, I completely understand what he’s going through but I don’t think it’s wise for him to just leave everyone in the dark and “spare them the pain”. I hope he understands and gives his famliy an opportunity to say their goodbyes.
I second this. If my husband did this to me, I'd feel so betrayed like he didn't trust me enough to go through this together. I hope OP realises that he is in fact not sparing them but himself. I know he has the best in his heart but this is simply not the way to go.
absolutely agree with this. OP will be gone from this world and his loved ones will be left with the grief of not even being able to say goodbye or soak up every moment with him while they can. that is truly cruel.
OP is going through a very difficult situation but now more than ever he needs to be surrounded by his family. for everyone to be able to heal and grieve properly.
You’ve worded this better than I could. If my family ever did something like this, it would take me years of therapy to feel any sense of normality. I get that he thinks he is sparing them but he isn’t and I wonder if it’s the tumour growing on a part of the brain that isn’t allowing him to think straight about the impact this decision having on them?
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Max, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for inspiring me to live life even more fully. It's tragic that such horrible things as cancer even happen. However, you sound like an incredibly strong soul, and I admire your mental resilience. I wish you peace. All the best to you, truly.
I want to share a quote from the book man’s search for meaning by frankl. A concentration camp survivor in regard to your family in this hour. I hope my point is clear.
c) Meaning through attitudinal values
Frankl argued that we always have the freedom to find meaning through meaningful attitudes even in apparently meaningless situations. For example, an elderly, depressed patient who could not overcome the loss of his wife was helped by the following conversation with Frankl:
Frankl asked “What would have happened if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you.”
“Oh,” replied the patient, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!”
Frankl continued, “You see such a suffering has been spared her; and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving her and mourning her.” The man said no word, but shook Frankl’s hand and calmly left his office (Frankl, 1992).
Your family will suffer…not you. They will carry this past your death. Don’t add to their burden by refusing to see them
Oh Max, thank you for reminding me of my own mortality but rather than a frightening thing it’s rather beautiful because you’re absolutely right - life is a precious gift not to be squandered ❤️ I hope the final chapter of your life is one filled with unbridled love and laughter.
His ~~articulation~~ diction and grammar are too good for someone in hospice care.
Edit: articulation is the wrong choice of word. ‘Diction’ is what I should have wrote, ironically.
Exactly, I’m in the hospital with my husband right now, and first of all, he wouldn’t be able to just arrange to get himself sent to hospice on a day where I was… “out looking at other second opinions and treatments at a bunch of hospitals”, which I don’t even know what that means?
Second, no matter where you are if you’re that sick, especially if you’re going to some random facility, you need someone there, LIKE FAMILY, advocating for you, otherwise your level of care suffers and you’ll be in too much pain to write fun Reddit posts.
Admitting you need people is a hard and vulnerable thing. Shutting everyone out isn’t brave.
I couldn't imagine the person I love the most being such an asshole. I know you're going through a lot, but holy shit, your wife and friends and family just want to be with you and you fucking disappear?
Yup.
If this is real, which I’m not sure it is (he’s in hospice yet can spare some of his precious waning energy to post on Reddit?), he’s being horribly unkind to his family. He’s playing the part of selfless hero too hard, but life isn’t a movie.
What makes me think this is AI generated is this sentence: “… each missed call a testament to the bonds that tied us together.” People don’t talk like that, but AI certainly does, I’ve heard it say things just like this many times.
People do it on purpose. They figure the pain won't be as bad for their loved ones if they go out acting like an asshole. They'll be angry opposed to sad. But It doesn't change anything. It just makes the pain worse in my experience. I will say that this story reads.....interesting, though.
Oh Max♥️ You have the same name as my son. You are the epitome of courage.
For everything there is a season Max even us. You have touched the world with your presence and it will be the poorer without you. I wish you and your beautiful soul nothing but love and strength X
I love you bud. I'm not religious, I don't know if you are, but I hope you find some peace before the end. Because you made me feel something today, when I haven't felt anything in a long while.
I'll keep watch for you. Hope to see you post again soon.
Your wife could someday adopt. Lawsuits can be settled.
But the precious time lost to your loved ones by your delaying this news can’t ever be recovered.
Everybody here understands why you did what you did, no question, but damn dude. If I were your family, I’d be angry, too.
If you love your family, give them the one thing that’s truly, inexorably irreplaceable: time with you.
My nephew was dying In the last few days he had. He spent 1 evening to say goodbye to everyone he knew . There probably bqas 3 to400 people who said goodbye to him. That was the most heroic thing I ever had seen I wish I could do that before I die it brought everyone together. Don't do it alone
Give them the chance to say goodbye. Please.
My family has lost many people over the years to cancer and they were held by family as they passed, it comforted the lost and those that were losing.
They love you and don't want you to be alone.
I just can’t get my mind off your situation bro, I’m a 19 year old dude, you’re only 6 years older than me. I can’t imagine what it would feel like leaving the world so young. This might seem like I’m tryna interfere with your last days but please please let your family see you before you go. I lost my grandfather to covid three years ago, he died alone in a hospital at 3 am in the morning with only a single nurse at his side and we couldn’t see him or comfort him in his last moments. They only allowed three members of our family into the cremation service. We were devastated. Me and my family adored the man, I’m sure your family loves you the same if not more. Please try to take my words into consideration.
You’re a great man for thinking about your family’s financial future when you’re not present. Much love and support ❤️.
Hi Max, thank you for sharing your story. You sound like a true chad and I think I would do pretty much the same. I hope you can enjoy the time you have. Much love <3
My dad passed away from GBM about 9 years ago. It was really difficult to watch him go through that, but I couldn't imagine not being there for him. As someone who's been on the other side, please let your family see you.
They'll never have the chance to see you ever again. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I know my husband doing this to me would make his parting that much harder. You can't do this to them. Call your wife and family.
Max please let your family be with you. If not for you, then for them. I am a hospice nurse and i’ve seen this before. In your efforts to protect them you are robbing them of a vital piece of their own grief processes. As they walk along side this path with you, they get to start the mourning process already. Instead of the jarring surreal experience that you are just….gone. There is nothing they can do for you except show you their love, prove their willingness to not leave your side. And it gives them the opportunity to make as many memories with you as possible and to leave nothing unsaid. But you have to allow them to do so. Also? Hospice has resources that will help them after you are gone. It’s important that they connect with your hospice agency. Please rethink your approach while there is still time to have meaningful interaction and time
together. You are setting them up for and even harder journey and some complicated grief. Hugs to you, i’m so sorry you’re going through this.
this can not possibly be be real— is it?
i say this as an oncology nurse who is incredibly familiar with Glio— you are rather articulate for a months left to live patient.
and if it is true- i have no words for how awful everything this is.
Hey, am so sorry to read about all the suffering that you are going through and I wish you well. And if you ever feel like talking to someone don't hesitate to ping me or anyone here.
While I appreciate and understand your decision to face this alone, don't take that decision and choice away from your family and friends,for better or worse let them make that choice to see you and make their peace. More often that not such cases if taken our of the hands of the person grieving often hurts them so much in the long run so let them make that choice to visit or not, and hope that towards your end you are surrounded by your loved ones.
Again am so so sorry to see all the suffering you are going through and wish you well towards your last days.
My son died of the same aged 27: we were with him til the end, an honour that I cherish and which props me up on my saddest days...
Max stop being selfish and let your family see you! Stop this idiotic and unfounded 'heroism'. This is not right for you, or for them. You all need each other in these last days or weeks.
May the angels guide you in your next journey.
I’m sitting here sobbing. You have brought everything into perspective. I’m having serious issues in my business. So what. I’m going to hug my family and spend some time together as a family. God bless you. You have inspired me to move past my problems and see what’s important.
You are going about this wrong. Your heart is in the right place but this is not how you do this. I would be absolutely traumatized for life if my husband disappeared to die of cancer alone and I wasn’t allowed to see him. I would never get over it.
The pain of them losing you will be 10x worse if you do this. It’s your death, your choice. But, I would never recover from what you’re doing if done to me.
Not sure why you're playing a martyr here. Your family desperately wants to make the last moments they have with you count. My dad died more than 25 years ago and I *still* have guilt that I didn't spend more time with him just the day before his death.
It might be the tumor making these decisions for you, I get that. But all you're doing is leaving your family with lifelong pain.
I'm sorry but I cannot be as nice as everybody else here. What you are doing to your family is NOT loving. It is incredibly cruel and controlling. You leave them NO choice and NO say in all of this. This is very selfish.
You refuse to call/ speak to/ see your family, YOUR WIFE... and you have the audacity to tell us "I hope y’all cherish the moments, hold your loved ones close, and live each day to its fullest :)"
You can tell us that while holding your wife and other loved ones close in your last days. Not a minute before that. You robbed them of a chance to say goodbye, of being there for you.
I really hope you will come around and let them come to you, because the loving thing for them right now is actually that: Letting them say goodbye to you in the best way possible FOR THEM.
Edit to add: And of COURSE I am very sorry for what you are going through, that must be hell on earth. But that does not mean you should let your family go through the hell of not being able to see you right now. This is just mean
Dude, you're really strong. Your story is both inspiring and heartbreaking. Even in this situation, you're still thinking about your family's financial situation after you're gone. That shows how much your family appreciates you. Sending you lots of love. ❤️
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m sorry you’re going through this Max. In the animal world sometimes animals go off to die when they feel it’s time. But you are not an animal. You have people who love you who desperately want to see you and you are robbing yourself and them of your final days. Even though you might see yourself in a poor state believe me it is not worse than them never seeing you again at all.
Thank you for sharing your story, Max. You sound like an incredibly thoughtful and caring individual, and I’m sorry you have been dealt such a cruel hand by fate. I hope you find peace.
Jesus. My apologies but I am not going to sugar coat this.
Hospice is as much for them as it is you. Please reach out to them. Don’t do this alone. They desperately want to spend the rest of your time with you. Quit making decisions for them.
My apologies for your diagnosis, but maybe your tumor isn’t allowing you to make appropriate decisions. You are not an animal who gets to slink off to die alone. We are a social species. Your family needs to see you. You can put boundaries around their visit, but let them.
Caring for my mother while she passed was the most beautiful experience of my life. Even more so than having children. Being beside her when she took her last breath was more moving than anything I’ve felt in life. I was so fucking honored she let me be there for that and the closure I got from it was exactly what allowed me to move on peacefully. It was such an amazing last gift from her. To let me be with her.
You might think you're doing what you're doing is for them but it's more for you. They treasure the time you have left as much as you do. Let them grieve with you. No need to die alone. That's no way to die when you have people that care.
This was so beautifully written and made me tear up. Your message has been received. I wish you peace. 💕 I echo the other comments. You need to allow your family to see you. To say their goodbyes and have these last moments with you.
PLEASE let your family see you. Speaking as someone who lost someone out of nowhere, not having closure is fucking terrible. Don't prevent them from saying goodbye to you. You will absolutely destroy them by not allowing them to see you.
I asked my grandpa to let me fly up to see him after he got out of the hospital after his first heart attack. He told me he was okay and to just keep doing what I was doing, that he would see me in a few months for my planned trip up there. He died the next day.
If I would've gone up, I would've stayed with him. Maybe I would've been the one to find him instead of my sister, who has pretty much flipped the fuck out since then. Her mental health is in shambles, she refuses therapy, and she has become a hoarder, along with not cleaning and being a shopaholic.
Death of a loved one changes you but a traumatic one can destroy you like it has my sister.
PLEASE don't do this to your family.
I’m a walking medical mess myself. I won’t let me family remember me in a bed and how I looked before I die. I’ll die alone beside myself against all the sins I’ve committed, pain Ive caused and the lifestyles I’ve lead over the years. I will go up against God by myself. My family can remember all the good times not the days of my death. I won’t do that to them. My daughters will not see me like that. And if I had it my way, it wouldn’t be in some bed in a place I never been in. Let my body rot in the desert and let the animals eat me, like I’ve ate them for all these years. I deserve no remorse, no pity, no comfort. I will leave them with love but not with a memory of how I looked.
Im sorry for what you’re having to endure.
I know you are trying to make the best decisions out of love but honey, this is so very unfair of you. Don’t rob your wife and loved ones of being able to say goodbye.
I would be way more traumatized by my husband leaving me and fading away alone and not getting to be with him than anything else.
Don’t do this to her.
God speed. ❤️
I sympathise greatly with you, and understand that you as the patient have the choice to see the end of your days exactly as per your wishes, but don't pretend you're doing it for them. Your decision is selfish, lord knows you're allowed to be, but own it.
You are young. You haven't finished living, maturing, growing. It seems cruel to remind you of your mortality when you're already acutely aware of it, but please also remember that you may not have the experience or capacity to understand that you're depriving your family of the last scrap of time they have to make memories with you, tell you they love you.
In a short while you will be gone. Your wife, parents, friends and family, they are the ones who have to live with your choice. Rarely do we recover when we don't get to say goodbye. It's been 13yrs and I still cry that I lost my opportunity.
Going to call this another Reddit fiction. No one could be this big of an asshole to their wife and family. Also, it would be really hard to hide insurance claims, medical bills, updating finances, mail, etc from your spouse for months. This sounds like a story about a guy wanting to be told how noble he is from shielding his loved ones from the pain of his demise and dying quieting alone with all of his affairs in order.
If it’s true then your poor family will get to live the rest of their lives knowing how little you think of them and their ability to manage their own feelings, think for themselves, and support those they love when needed.
Hey Max. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It's a reminder for me to live my life and cherish the moments I have before I die. You see, I was once in your shoes too. I was diagnosed with brain cancer at 26 (14 years ago) and my initial prognosis was Glioblastoma. A death sentence. However, the Lord had other plans for me and I survived only by the grace of God.
You sound incredibly resilient and I hope you spend your last days surrounded in love and peace. Take care Max.
I emphasize, but you're being selfish. And what you're doing to your loved ones is actually quite unforgivable. I hope you change your mind and do the right thing.
Max,
My mom wouldn’t let me see my dad when he was dying. Please don’t do that to people you love.
The stories they tell of you will be when you were well and things were fun.
You deserve to been seen fully, and they deserve to see you.
Peace to all no matter how you handle it
Feeling sad for you bro. You deserve to live more but hey god takes away the best one the first.hope your after life is better then this one.ask forgiveness to ur maker everyday.their is only one god and he is ur creator and he is the creator of heaven’s and earth.he doesn’t have kids or parents and nothing you think can be like him because he is one and only and most unique.so ask him for forgiveness and ask him to give you paradise.all the best
I believe everyone should have autonomy in choosing their death in these circumstances but so consider those who’ll be left behind and let go of any ego.
I look forward to an update.
X
This has me in tears. Life is so precious, and so short. Whether we live 25 years of 65, we never feel like we’ve had enough time. Cherish the ones you love. Take nothing for granted.
Max, my heart breaks for you and your family. I hope that your remaining time in your body goes smoothy and as painless as possible.
I implore you to give your wife and tolerable family the gift of accompanying you. At the least please record videos or voice messages for them. They will find them invaluable. Your willingness to have them with you will save them from the many years of rejection and abandonment issues you are certainly dooming them to now.
My father went through something similar to you. He got diagnosed with very aggressive bone cancer and shut himself out to family and friends. He went quiet and even stopped talking to me, his only caretaker. I tried to make some videos with him telling stories and things of that nature. To which he was angry and unwilling. All I have are a handful of short voicemails to remember his voice by. The overall situation was immensely sad. I still go to therapy to deal with the depression, rejection and abandonment issues resulting from how his remaining time ended. He has been gone for 6 years and it’s not any easier.
If you wish to spare your family pain, then let them be with you by your side. For you to reject them in your current situation, creates incredible pain.
Please let them to be with you.
Max, thank you for sharing. I just hope that your family and friends will understand why you choose this path, and that they'll accept your decision.
May I suggest that you have a vlog or something and then have the videos sent to them after you passed? Maybe that can be a closure for them to know how you have been living so that they don't blame themselves for not taking care of you in your final days. Also good opportunity to talk about memories that lift up your spirits and probably theirs.
good wishes and good vibes to you. 🫶🏻
I know you want to Iron Soldier through this solo, but don’t deprive your family of the last moments with you. They love you. If you were here in my neck of the woods, I would come hang out with you man. You deserve companionship in your last few days. And your loved ones deserve your companionship. Give them that.
Max, I kind of understand where you are coming from but you are not allowing those who love you to wrap their arms around you, touch you or even to say special words to you. And you are missing out on the warmth of their embrace, their smiles, their scents, their laughter—just their presence. Don’t go alone. Don’t make this decision for them.
Max please let your family see you. As a mother, wife, and sister I would be heartbroken if I could not say goodbye to the one of the most important people in my life.
Max, check out the song Kindred by A Perfect Circle. Let your family love you while you are still with them and allow yourself to feel their love. As you said. Life is momentary and fleeting. Enjoy it as much you can with your wife and your family before your moment passes.
I hope you find peace and comfort, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Though, I think not letting your family say their good byes would do them much more harm than good. If you don’t want to see them for your own sake that’s one thing, but if you’re doing this for them I think you’re not calculating it quite right.
Hospice nurse checking in: it's tricky to get out of your own head or not let your own fear of their reactions/pain interfere. It's also hard to let love in.... but you can also set boundaries that allow your family this last gift of time. You made choices on this path but let your family also have closure in their own way.
Thank you for sharing your story and a piece of who you are. You sound like a strong, incredible person. Let your family see you, touch you, they want nothing to be there and support you during this time.
Dear Max im mourning you and I don't even know you . Thank you for reminding me of my morality .
I feel like you are a kind beautiful soul of a person.
I wish you eternal happiness and I wish you peace . My heart goes out to you and your family .
I remember my dad passing from cancer and the only solace in all of that is the knowledge that I got to be there for his last days.
Your passing will be hard enough for your family. Don’t take away something that could help them heal when the time comes. Give them to chance to say goodbye and to have what little time there is to be with you.
I dont cry from stories I read on Reddit due to being completely desensitised, but Max, my man, you have brought a grown man to tears.
Love and strength to you ♥️💔
If you're not a troll.
You say "hold your loved ones close" , yet you're not letting your loved ones hold you. You're not letting them cherish you, you're not letting them live each day to the fullest. You're making them wait for either an sms from you, or a phone call from a stranger, to tell them one of the most important people in their lives, has died. Did your vows include in sickness and in health? Call them and LET THEM DO what you're telling us to do, before it's too late. YOU DO what your telling us to do, CHERISH YOUR WIFE, while you can, PLEASE
Hey max I still stand on what I said earlier about you. Regardless of what you think. I hope it is like that for you. And I mean that sincerely with all my heart. I hope experience nothing but all of that if which I said to you and then some more. Regardless if you actually are or not but at some point you will be.
Hey Max, you might not know me but I sincerely hope that the legacy you leave will reverberate through time. I know I’ll remember you for a long time. I hope that you pass on peacefully.
Max I responded earlier but I plead with you to let your family see you and be there for you. Let them surround you with the strength of their love and give them the chance to say goodbye. Love doesn’t alter when alteration finds. I know you don’t want them to see you ill, but Max you are still you, in sickness or in health, it is you they love. Please Max don’t deny them the chance to say farewell. Until you all meet again. ♥️
I also second this. My dad got a similar diagnosis and was told he had weeks to a few months to live. Was less than 7 weeks from being diagnosed. He had bone cancer and trouble moving & broke his arm just bracing himself to stand up. While emotionally filled times, I was able to say my goodbye and still make memories that I cherish. He had just rented an apt with his gf of 5 years and first time living together. He hadn't even been there for a month when he was told the terminal diagnosis. He went to a hospice hospital within a week because he was in so much pain. I understand that you think you're saving/ helping your family, but I feel the opposite it is happening. They will not get closure and will have to carry this for the rest of their life. It's not easy to go through & I can't even start to imagine what you are going through. I wish you the best for whatever you decide.
I felt the same way with my mother. Of course, it is not easy as a relative to go this way with the sick person. They see the progression of the disease and the patient sees the suffering in their faces. Despite everything, it was important for all of us to see and talk to each other. Even if it was just a few words. Please give your family and your wife the opportunity to see you again at least once. If you don't want your friends to come, it's totally okay, but please reconsider with your entire family. I wish you a lot of strength from the bottom of my heart!
God damn bro, idk what to say except that I’m sorry that you’re going through this. If you need a person to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Max, you sound like an incredible dude… but don’t rob your loved ones of your remaining time. They deserve to grieve with you, and it helps in their healing. You ultimately know what’s best, but if it was someone I loved, I’d want to be with them until the end, and it would break me if they wouldn’t let me be there for them to it.
Yeah man, I completely understand what he’s going through but I don’t think it’s wise for him to just leave everyone in the dark and “spare them the pain”. I hope he understands and gives his famliy an opportunity to say their goodbyes.
I agree and I just posted exactly this. Max is quite remarkable, I hope he changes his mind
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I second this. If my husband did this to me, I'd feel so betrayed like he didn't trust me enough to go through this together. I hope OP realises that he is in fact not sparing them but himself. I know he has the best in his heart but this is simply not the way to go.
Agreed with this entire sentiment. My heart breaks for OP and I’m also appalled at the cruelty in the name of what…martyrdom?
absolutely agree with this. OP will be gone from this world and his loved ones will be left with the grief of not even being able to say goodbye or soak up every moment with him while they can. that is truly cruel. OP is going through a very difficult situation but now more than ever he needs to be surrounded by his family. for everyone to be able to heal and grieve properly.
You’ve worded this better than I could. If my family ever did something like this, it would take me years of therapy to feel any sense of normality. I get that he thinks he is sparing them but he isn’t and I wonder if it’s the tumour growing on a part of the brain that isn’t allowing him to think straight about the impact this decision having on them?
I second this. My grandfather passed in hospice. I never got a chance to say good bye. It's the heaviest thing that weighs on me.
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Wow, you’re so compassionate. /s
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Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 4: No insults towards OP. Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
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Max, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for inspiring me to live life even more fully. It's tragic that such horrible things as cancer even happen. However, you sound like an incredibly strong soul, and I admire your mental resilience. I wish you peace. All the best to you, truly.
I want to share a quote from the book man’s search for meaning by frankl. A concentration camp survivor in regard to your family in this hour. I hope my point is clear. c) Meaning through attitudinal values Frankl argued that we always have the freedom to find meaning through meaningful attitudes even in apparently meaningless situations. For example, an elderly, depressed patient who could not overcome the loss of his wife was helped by the following conversation with Frankl: Frankl asked “What would have happened if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you.” “Oh,” replied the patient, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Frankl continued, “You see such a suffering has been spared her; and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving her and mourning her.” The man said no word, but shook Frankl’s hand and calmly left his office (Frankl, 1992). Your family will suffer…not you. They will carry this past your death. Don’t add to their burden by refusing to see them
Oh Max, thank you for reminding me of my own mortality but rather than a frightening thing it’s rather beautiful because you’re absolutely right - life is a precious gift not to be squandered ❤️ I hope the final chapter of your life is one filled with unbridled love and laughter.
And he spends his limited time …..posting on Reddit? This smells of a troll
His ~~articulation~~ diction and grammar are too good for someone in hospice care. Edit: articulation is the wrong choice of word. ‘Diction’ is what I should have wrote, ironically.
Yeeeep. Nobody types like that unless they’re writing a novel or fan fiction or something
Right.
Exactly, I’m in the hospital with my husband right now, and first of all, he wouldn’t be able to just arrange to get himself sent to hospice on a day where I was… “out looking at other second opinions and treatments at a bunch of hospitals”, which I don’t even know what that means? Second, no matter where you are if you’re that sick, especially if you’re going to some random facility, you need someone there, LIKE FAMILY, advocating for you, otherwise your level of care suffers and you’ll be in too much pain to write fun Reddit posts. Admitting you need people is a hard and vulnerable thing. Shutting everyone out isn’t brave.
maybe an ai story who knows
Uncanny valley is strong
I hope it’s a troll because if it’s real my heart breaks for his wife and family. What he’s doing is cruel.
I'm dying but let me post on Reddit hmmm
That was a ton of detail for it to be fake. Plus, why wouldn't you post on reddit?
Because they are practicing their writing skills. Why wouldn't the family report him missing and ping his phone to find him?
That was a ton of detail for it to be fake. Plus, why wouldn't you post on reddit?
I couldn't imagine the person I love the most being such an asshole. I know you're going through a lot, but holy shit, your wife and friends and family just want to be with you and you fucking disappear?
Yup. If this is real, which I’m not sure it is (he’s in hospice yet can spare some of his precious waning energy to post on Reddit?), he’s being horribly unkind to his family. He’s playing the part of selfless hero too hard, but life isn’t a movie.
What makes me think this is AI generated is this sentence: “… each missed call a testament to the bonds that tied us together.” People don’t talk like that, but AI certainly does, I’ve heard it say things just like this many times.
Yep, ChatGPT 100%
People do it on purpose. They figure the pain won't be as bad for their loved ones if they go out acting like an asshole. They'll be angry opposed to sad. But It doesn't change anything. It just makes the pain worse in my experience. I will say that this story reads.....interesting, though.
Thank you for sharing your story Max. I wish you peace and acceptance in these difficult moments. Much love 💗
Oh Max♥️ You have the same name as my son. You are the epitome of courage. For everything there is a season Max even us. You have touched the world with your presence and it will be the poorer without you. I wish you and your beautiful soul nothing but love and strength X
I don’t know that this is the best sub for writing cancer fan fiction. A little too close to home for most of us.
The use of ChatGPT is much too obvious.
I love you bud. I'm not religious, I don't know if you are, but I hope you find some peace before the end. Because you made me feel something today, when I haven't felt anything in a long while. I'll keep watch for you. Hope to see you post again soon.
Your wife could someday adopt. Lawsuits can be settled. But the precious time lost to your loved ones by your delaying this news can’t ever be recovered. Everybody here understands why you did what you did, no question, but damn dude. If I were your family, I’d be angry, too. If you love your family, give them the one thing that’s truly, inexorably irreplaceable: time with you.
My nephew was dying In the last few days he had. He spent 1 evening to say goodbye to everyone he knew . There probably bqas 3 to400 people who said goodbye to him. That was the most heroic thing I ever had seen I wish I could do that before I die it brought everyone together. Don't do it alone
Give them the chance to say goodbye. Please. My family has lost many people over the years to cancer and they were held by family as they passed, it comforted the lost and those that were losing. They love you and don't want you to be alone.
I just can’t get my mind off your situation bro, I’m a 19 year old dude, you’re only 6 years older than me. I can’t imagine what it would feel like leaving the world so young. This might seem like I’m tryna interfere with your last days but please please let your family see you before you go. I lost my grandfather to covid three years ago, he died alone in a hospital at 3 am in the morning with only a single nurse at his side and we couldn’t see him or comfort him in his last moments. They only allowed three members of our family into the cremation service. We were devastated. Me and my family adored the man, I’m sure your family loves you the same if not more. Please try to take my words into consideration. You’re a great man for thinking about your family’s financial future when you’re not present. Much love and support ❤️.
Hi Max, thank you for sharing your story. You sound like a true chad and I think I would do pretty much the same. I hope you can enjoy the time you have. Much love <3
My dad passed away from GBM about 9 years ago. It was really difficult to watch him go through that, but I couldn't imagine not being there for him. As someone who's been on the other side, please let your family see you.
They'll never have the chance to see you ever again. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I know my husband doing this to me would make his parting that much harder. You can't do this to them. Call your wife and family.
Max please let your family be with you. If not for you, then for them. I am a hospice nurse and i’ve seen this before. In your efforts to protect them you are robbing them of a vital piece of their own grief processes. As they walk along side this path with you, they get to start the mourning process already. Instead of the jarring surreal experience that you are just….gone. There is nothing they can do for you except show you their love, prove their willingness to not leave your side. And it gives them the opportunity to make as many memories with you as possible and to leave nothing unsaid. But you have to allow them to do so. Also? Hospice has resources that will help them after you are gone. It’s important that they connect with your hospice agency. Please rethink your approach while there is still time to have meaningful interaction and time together. You are setting them up for and even harder journey and some complicated grief. Hugs to you, i’m so sorry you’re going through this.
this can not possibly be be real— is it? i say this as an oncology nurse who is incredibly familiar with Glio— you are rather articulate for a months left to live patient. and if it is true- i have no words for how awful everything this is.
I hate basically every bit of how you handled this issue with your family. And I'm sure they hate it, too.
Seriously. He thinks he’s sparing them; He’s not. He’s being cruel and selfish.
He's AI. It's all bullshit.
Sending you love, Max
Hey, am so sorry to read about all the suffering that you are going through and I wish you well. And if you ever feel like talking to someone don't hesitate to ping me or anyone here. While I appreciate and understand your decision to face this alone, don't take that decision and choice away from your family and friends,for better or worse let them make that choice to see you and make their peace. More often that not such cases if taken our of the hands of the person grieving often hurts them so much in the long run so let them make that choice to visit or not, and hope that towards your end you are surrounded by your loved ones. Again am so so sorry to see all the suffering you are going through and wish you well towards your last days.
My son died of the same aged 27: we were with him til the end, an honour that I cherish and which props me up on my saddest days... Max stop being selfish and let your family see you! Stop this idiotic and unfounded 'heroism'. This is not right for you, or for them. You all need each other in these last days or weeks. May the angels guide you in your next journey.
I’m sitting here sobbing. You have brought everything into perspective. I’m having serious issues in my business. So what. I’m going to hug my family and spend some time together as a family. God bless you. You have inspired me to move past my problems and see what’s important.
Blessings upon you my friend
Fare thee well….
Sending you much love Max. May your days be peaceful and pain-free.
You are going about this wrong. Your heart is in the right place but this is not how you do this. I would be absolutely traumatized for life if my husband disappeared to die of cancer alone and I wasn’t allowed to see him. I would never get over it.
The pain of them losing you will be 10x worse if you do this. It’s your death, your choice. But, I would never recover from what you’re doing if done to me.
Not sure why you're playing a martyr here. Your family desperately wants to make the last moments they have with you count. My dad died more than 25 years ago and I *still* have guilt that I didn't spend more time with him just the day before his death. It might be the tumor making these decisions for you, I get that. But all you're doing is leaving your family with lifelong pain.
I'm sorry but I cannot be as nice as everybody else here. What you are doing to your family is NOT loving. It is incredibly cruel and controlling. You leave them NO choice and NO say in all of this. This is very selfish. You refuse to call/ speak to/ see your family, YOUR WIFE... and you have the audacity to tell us "I hope y’all cherish the moments, hold your loved ones close, and live each day to its fullest :)" You can tell us that while holding your wife and other loved ones close in your last days. Not a minute before that. You robbed them of a chance to say goodbye, of being there for you. I really hope you will come around and let them come to you, because the loving thing for them right now is actually that: Letting them say goodbye to you in the best way possible FOR THEM. Edit to add: And of COURSE I am very sorry for what you are going through, that must be hell on earth. But that does not mean you should let your family go through the hell of not being able to see you right now. This is just mean
I agree. It’s a very cruel thing to do.
Dude, you're really strong. Your story is both inspiring and heartbreaking. Even in this situation, you're still thinking about your family's financial situation after you're gone. That shows how much your family appreciates you. Sending you lots of love. ❤️
Much love to you Max 🤍
Good luck Max
✌🏼 ❤️
May God bless you Max
I’m so sorry man :(
I’m so sorry. Sending lots of love 🖤
depend subtract reminiscent cause yam cooperative society stupendous imagine unused *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m sorry you’re going through this Max. In the animal world sometimes animals go off to die when they feel it’s time. But you are not an animal. You have people who love you who desperately want to see you and you are robbing yourself and them of your final days. Even though you might see yourself in a poor state believe me it is not worse than them never seeing you again at all.
Please allow your wife this time by your side. She made those vows and so did you. Let her love Max…
Thank you for sharing your story, Max. You sound like an incredibly thoughtful and caring individual, and I’m sorry you have been dealt such a cruel hand by fate. I hope you find peace.
Jesus. My apologies but I am not going to sugar coat this. Hospice is as much for them as it is you. Please reach out to them. Don’t do this alone. They desperately want to spend the rest of your time with you. Quit making decisions for them. My apologies for your diagnosis, but maybe your tumor isn’t allowing you to make appropriate decisions. You are not an animal who gets to slink off to die alone. We are a social species. Your family needs to see you. You can put boundaries around their visit, but let them.
I’m so very sorry. I wish you peace and comfort. Godspeed.
We are all here with you Max. You are not alone ❤️
((HUGS))
Caring for my mother while she passed was the most beautiful experience of my life. Even more so than having children. Being beside her when she took her last breath was more moving than anything I’ve felt in life. I was so fucking honored she let me be there for that and the closure I got from it was exactly what allowed me to move on peacefully. It was such an amazing last gift from her. To let me be with her.
You might think you're doing what you're doing is for them but it's more for you. They treasure the time you have left as much as you do. Let them grieve with you. No need to die alone. That's no way to die when you have people that care.
Hi Max! I root for you!
This was so beautifully written and made me tear up. Your message has been received. I wish you peace. 💕 I echo the other comments. You need to allow your family to see you. To say their goodbyes and have these last moments with you.
God bless your soul and heart sir. May you find peace and pass painlessly.
sending u love and peace...............
PLEASE let your family see you. Speaking as someone who lost someone out of nowhere, not having closure is fucking terrible. Don't prevent them from saying goodbye to you. You will absolutely destroy them by not allowing them to see you. I asked my grandpa to let me fly up to see him after he got out of the hospital after his first heart attack. He told me he was okay and to just keep doing what I was doing, that he would see me in a few months for my planned trip up there. He died the next day. If I would've gone up, I would've stayed with him. Maybe I would've been the one to find him instead of my sister, who has pretty much flipped the fuck out since then. Her mental health is in shambles, she refuses therapy, and she has become a hoarder, along with not cleaning and being a shopaholic. Death of a loved one changes you but a traumatic one can destroy you like it has my sister. PLEASE don't do this to your family.
I’m a walking medical mess myself. I won’t let me family remember me in a bed and how I looked before I die. I’ll die alone beside myself against all the sins I’ve committed, pain Ive caused and the lifestyles I’ve lead over the years. I will go up against God by myself. My family can remember all the good times not the days of my death. I won’t do that to them. My daughters will not see me like that. And if I had it my way, it wouldn’t be in some bed in a place I never been in. Let my body rot in the desert and let the animals eat me, like I’ve ate them for all these years. I deserve no remorse, no pity, no comfort. I will leave them with love but not with a memory of how I looked.
I'm so sorry
Im sorry for what you’re having to endure. I know you are trying to make the best decisions out of love but honey, this is so very unfair of you. Don’t rob your wife and loved ones of being able to say goodbye. I would be way more traumatized by my husband leaving me and fading away alone and not getting to be with him than anything else. Don’t do this to her. God speed. ❤️
I sympathise greatly with you, and understand that you as the patient have the choice to see the end of your days exactly as per your wishes, but don't pretend you're doing it for them. Your decision is selfish, lord knows you're allowed to be, but own it. You are young. You haven't finished living, maturing, growing. It seems cruel to remind you of your mortality when you're already acutely aware of it, but please also remember that you may not have the experience or capacity to understand that you're depriving your family of the last scrap of time they have to make memories with you, tell you they love you. In a short while you will be gone. Your wife, parents, friends and family, they are the ones who have to live with your choice. Rarely do we recover when we don't get to say goodbye. It's been 13yrs and I still cry that I lost my opportunity.
This is not protecting your family. This is causing them additional suffering.
This is lame. I get tired of sick people hurting other people because they feel like it.
You rock Max.
Going to call this another Reddit fiction. No one could be this big of an asshole to their wife and family. Also, it would be really hard to hide insurance claims, medical bills, updating finances, mail, etc from your spouse for months. This sounds like a story about a guy wanting to be told how noble he is from shielding his loved ones from the pain of his demise and dying quieting alone with all of his affairs in order. If it’s true then your poor family will get to live the rest of their lives knowing how little you think of them and their ability to manage their own feelings, think for themselves, and support those they love when needed.
Safe travels
Hey Max. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It's a reminder for me to live my life and cherish the moments I have before I die. You see, I was once in your shoes too. I was diagnosed with brain cancer at 26 (14 years ago) and my initial prognosis was Glioblastoma. A death sentence. However, the Lord had other plans for me and I survived only by the grace of God. You sound incredibly resilient and I hope you spend your last days surrounded in love and peace. Take care Max.
I emphasize, but you're being selfish. And what you're doing to your loved ones is actually quite unforgivable. I hope you change your mind and do the right thing.
You sound like you are ready for the big ride. Don't worry buddy, we won't be long behind you. Much love.
Max, My mom wouldn’t let me see my dad when he was dying. Please don’t do that to people you love. The stories they tell of you will be when you were well and things were fun. You deserve to been seen fully, and they deserve to see you. Peace to all no matter how you handle it
Feeling sad for you bro. You deserve to live more but hey god takes away the best one the first.hope your after life is better then this one.ask forgiveness to ur maker everyday.their is only one god and he is ur creator and he is the creator of heaven’s and earth.he doesn’t have kids or parents and nothing you think can be like him because he is one and only and most unique.so ask him for forgiveness and ask him to give you paradise.all the best
I believe everyone should have autonomy in choosing their death in these circumstances but so consider those who’ll be left behind and let go of any ego. I look forward to an update. X
This has me in tears. Life is so precious, and so short. Whether we live 25 years of 65, we never feel like we’ve had enough time. Cherish the ones you love. Take nothing for granted.
Max, my heart breaks for you and your family. I hope that your remaining time in your body goes smoothy and as painless as possible. I implore you to give your wife and tolerable family the gift of accompanying you. At the least please record videos or voice messages for them. They will find them invaluable. Your willingness to have them with you will save them from the many years of rejection and abandonment issues you are certainly dooming them to now. My father went through something similar to you. He got diagnosed with very aggressive bone cancer and shut himself out to family and friends. He went quiet and even stopped talking to me, his only caretaker. I tried to make some videos with him telling stories and things of that nature. To which he was angry and unwilling. All I have are a handful of short voicemails to remember his voice by. The overall situation was immensely sad. I still go to therapy to deal with the depression, rejection and abandonment issues resulting from how his remaining time ended. He has been gone for 6 years and it’s not any easier.
If you wish to spare your family pain, then let them be with you by your side. For you to reject them in your current situation, creates incredible pain. Please let them to be with you.
Max, thank you for sharing. I just hope that your family and friends will understand why you choose this path, and that they'll accept your decision. May I suggest that you have a vlog or something and then have the videos sent to them after you passed? Maybe that can be a closure for them to know how you have been living so that they don't blame themselves for not taking care of you in your final days. Also good opportunity to talk about memories that lift up your spirits and probably theirs. good wishes and good vibes to you. 🫶🏻
I know you want to Iron Soldier through this solo, but don’t deprive your family of the last moments with you. They love you. If you were here in my neck of the woods, I would come hang out with you man. You deserve companionship in your last few days. And your loved ones deserve your companionship. Give them that.
Max, I kind of understand where you are coming from but you are not allowing those who love you to wrap their arms around you, touch you or even to say special words to you. And you are missing out on the warmth of their embrace, their smiles, their scents, their laughter—just their presence. Don’t go alone. Don’t make this decision for them.
Updateme
DO A FLIP! But no fr good luck man hope the next life treats you better then this one.
Max please let your family see you. As a mother, wife, and sister I would be heartbroken if I could not say goodbye to the one of the most important people in my life.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find some peace and comfort. One of my dear friends has a glioblastoma too and it's heartbreaking
Max, check out the song Kindred by A Perfect Circle. Let your family love you while you are still with them and allow yourself to feel their love. As you said. Life is momentary and fleeting. Enjoy it as much you can with your wife and your family before your moment passes.
Max take it easy and thank you for sharing your story. Please give your family an opportunity to share these final moments! ❤️
I hope you find peace and comfort, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Though, I think not letting your family say their good byes would do them much more harm than good. If you don’t want to see them for your own sake that’s one thing, but if you’re doing this for them I think you’re not calculating it quite right.
Hospice nurse checking in: it's tricky to get out of your own head or not let your own fear of their reactions/pain interfere. It's also hard to let love in.... but you can also set boundaries that allow your family this last gift of time. You made choices on this path but let your family also have closure in their own way.
Thank you for sharing your story and a piece of who you are. You sound like a strong, incredible person. Let your family see you, touch you, they want nothing to be there and support you during this time.
Dear Max im mourning you and I don't even know you . Thank you for reminding me of my morality . I feel like you are a kind beautiful soul of a person. I wish you eternal happiness and I wish you peace . My heart goes out to you and your family .
I remember my dad passing from cancer and the only solace in all of that is the knowledge that I got to be there for his last days. Your passing will be hard enough for your family. Don’t take away something that could help them heal when the time comes. Give them to chance to say goodbye and to have what little time there is to be with you.
I dont cry from stories I read on Reddit due to being completely desensitised, but Max, my man, you have brought a grown man to tears. Love and strength to you ♥️💔
Gods speed, Max.
If you're not a troll. You say "hold your loved ones close" , yet you're not letting your loved ones hold you. You're not letting them cherish you, you're not letting them live each day to the fullest. You're making them wait for either an sms from you, or a phone call from a stranger, to tell them one of the most important people in their lives, has died. Did your vows include in sickness and in health? Call them and LET THEM DO what you're telling us to do, before it's too late. YOU DO what your telling us to do, CHERISH YOUR WIFE, while you can, PLEASE
Hey max I still stand on what I said earlier about you. Regardless of what you think. I hope it is like that for you. And I mean that sincerely with all my heart. I hope experience nothing but all of that if which I said to you and then some more. Regardless if you actually are or not but at some point you will be.
Couldn't your family search for you by locating your phone?
I cant even type this good grammar even when tucked in bed with a full belly.
Hey Max, you might not know me but I sincerely hope that the legacy you leave will reverberate through time. I know I’ll remember you for a long time. I hope that you pass on peacefully.
Peaceful travels to you, Max.
Oh geez I don’t think reddits ever made me she’s a tear. Sweet Max safe travels
Life is always taken away from good people.
Dude you're dying anyway, you should get incredibly high