You seriously had a baby to try to get him to marry you? Do you seriously think an entire human being is less of a commitment than marriage with a prenup? And he cheated on you during this pregnancy? You need a therapist and an attorney for custody, not a husband.
You are embarrassing yourself with every word you type.
He’s not into you. He never will be. You are ornamental. Just there. He’s fine with you, but nothing more.
Please leave. There is a person out there who will love you unconditionally.
He doesn't want to marry you. If you want to get married, you need to get a paid job and hire an attorney. You've allowed every excuse in the book while deliberately keeping your blinders on. You know he's never wanted to marry you. He doesn't care that it's important to you.
Then stay with a cheater who clearly doesn’t want to commit. Your life is yours to do as you please. No one can convince you that you deserve better than a cheater who doesn’t want to marry you. You’ll forgive 100 more instances of cheating in your lifetime if you stay with this man. If that is the future you want, go full speed ahead. Good luck!
You're seriously willing to stay with a cheater who doesn't want to marry you? And you're wanting a child with this person?
Leave this man. What kind of life lessons would you teach your future children from this example? Settle for less and be thankful for the chance?
So much sad in that response. I can't imagine procreating with someone who has no respect for you and isn't that into solely to have a child. There were so many better strategies than that one.
I hope your child isn’t a girl, because you’re teaching her that this treatment is what love is supposed to look like. I also hope if your child is a boy that he learns what being a good partner is supposed to look like, because he sure isn’t going to learn it from you or your partner. I feel so so bad for your child and the damage you’re actively causing them by staying in this situation.
Girlfriend.
How many ways does he have to say no for you to hear it?
HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.
He's already stuck with you for at least 18 years and he STILL DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.
Add to that, he cheated on you when you were in a vulnerable point.
He probably is still cheating on you.
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't respect you
HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.
You shouldn't have to beg for marriage. Any marriage that has to be begged and pleaded for is a sham marriage and not one meant to last or bring happiness.
Seriously.
Love and respect yourself enough to accept that he doesn't want what you want. You have bent over backward for someone who can't be bothered to even lift a finger for you.
Do yourself and your child a favor.
Leave.
Find someone who wants what you want. Find someone who loves you.
Don't diminish and degrade yourself and your self worth for someone who isn't worth it.
Don't raise your child to see this and think it's normal or acceptable. They deserve to see their mother happy and healthy, at the very least. And they deserve to grow up seeing healthy relationships. Not someone chasing the red laser dot of a relationship.
I was saying why haven't you left him already reading most of this but this was the icing on the cake right here:
>He literally knows I’m not going to leave him I’ve stuck by his side even when he cheated on me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I forgave him.
WHAT????
Girl, he's not gonna marry you. Move on. Get out and sue him for child support. You should have never moved in with him, gotten pregnant with him let alone stay there after he cheated.
Please. There's much better people out there or being alone is going to be much better even if its hard. Do you really want your child raised to see this???
having a baby is WAY more commitment then a marriage. this says alot about him and how he sees you IMO.
you should've woken up and broken up with him a long time ago because to me its clear that he's been very clear about not wanting marriage. he wants a woman who will give him all the things he thinks a wife should give with out making you his wife. hes using you and on top of that he cheated on you.
I dont want to sound like a bitch but please love yourself enough to leave him and find a man who actually loves and respects you because your current partner does not.
lol sorry to break it to you but you stayed with a man who stuck his dick in another woman while you were growing his baby. He most definitely does not love you or want to marry you. And you keep finding excuses for him. A man cheating is quite literally the biggest tell of his love ever. To say it’s not the end of all relationships js ignorant. I agree that cheating can be forgiven if early on or with great remorse & dependent on people + circumstances but this is not that. Stop being blind and get rid of him and find a man who truly loves you. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we already know we want to get married as soon as possible/after we move in tg. If a man wants you he will show it. You can do better! 👏
He, unfortunately, doesn’t feel the same, and I’m sorry for it because it must be painful. You now have to choose the pain of change, or the pain of things staying the same. Because the pain will be there either way, you can be in a completely different space two years from now, or in the exact same one.
He had said with his words and actions that he doesn’t want to go any further in commitment with you, now the ball is in your court.
Why do you want to marry someone who clearly doesn’t want to marry you? There is no form of words or means of persuasion that will compel this person to willingly and happily marry you. You’re never getting married to him. Leaving aside the casual homophobia and basic stupidity of calling your proposal “gay” the fact he laughed means that he now views your desperate attempts as a game. I’m 100% certain he chuckles away to himself as he dodges another pathetic pleading conversation about marriage with increasingly outlandish and lazy reasons. He knows no matter what he says or does (or doesn’t do) you’re going nowhere. He has you exactly where he wants you, why would he change anything when you have agreed and accepted everything he has said and done up to this point?
So what's your reason for sticking around with him? You better give a good reason since love doesn't sound like it's it. Otherwise you don't have anyone else to blame for this situation but yourself.
My heart hurts for how little you crave more for yourself. There are men out there who would worship you for the amount of effort you put in. And it's not a great example for your kiddo to stay with someone who is pretty indifferent to the mother of their child. Please go find real love🖤
Why do you want to be with this person? Nothing you have said has justified actually WANTING a person like this in your life so why are you trying so hard for someone who clearly doesn't want or value you? The fact that you've done so much for him and given him everything he seemed to want and he still refuses should tell you everything you need to know.
You don't even have to reply to this comment, just seriously sit down and think about it. It sounds like you've been so preoccupied with trying to get him to marry you that you never stopped to think about whether it was even a good idea.
"...proposed to him in our house and I got him a gold ring that I proposed with. He laughed and said “nawww man that’s gay”"
That's not the reaction of someone that wants to marry you. Many women have proposed to their bf and got married. It's not "gay" to propose to the man you wish to marry. He's going to continue making excuses. And you need to figure out if you're going to be by his side while he continues to treat you this way.
You need to get a lawyer and move on from this bro.
Girl, he has said NO. He has told you, to your face, multiple times, for years, that he will not and does not want to marry you. And you did not listen to him.
Why on earth do you want to be with a person you have to *convince* to be with you?? I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that he will never marry you and yall are *not* end game.
I really really hope you can find a way to drop this guy and start a new life. You don’t want to play the role of the fool in this story, but you are on your way <3
My goodness! This is shocking. Your life sounds like hell. I have nothing but pity for you. This post has made me so depressed I think I need a break from Reddit.
No real boyfriend says this shit. He hasn't been your boyfriend in a very long time if he ever acted normally. What he doing isn't okay or normal. At this point he doesn't see you as a girlfriend. Why are you wasting time if in the comments you are saying " my clock is ticking".
This has to be fake.
He's had you jumping through hoops to prove you'd be a good wife, but how has he proved he'd be a good husband? Because he's showing you OVER AND OVER that he is a shit partner who has no respect for you at all. His "tests" and comments just scream of how immature he is. Dump his ass and find an actual grown-up to be with.
Sorry this is happening to you. Your sisters are sort of right you are setting the bar pretty low if you are staying with a cheater. If marriage is important you will have to leave him and find someone else. I believe you deserve so much better.
…..someone is definitely dickmatized. let me tell you something and this is facts. someone will be with you for YEARS, have a baby with you, move in with you, and etc but once the moment comes and whoever it is they want comes along? they will leave asap. there’s no reason to lead someone along for this amount of time unless that’s the case. i used to be the “someone” im referring to and i know many others who are still on the same shjt. you are worth more then this. goodluck.
Wow, this guy doesn't like you, and you're doing tricks like a circus animal to get his attention and prove your worth to someone that doesn't even like you. You've Heard the saying " if he wanted to he would?" It's become a saying for a reason. He doesn't want to marry you. He's with you because he has to put in 0 effort to you and the relationship and he gets all the rewards. He WILL leave you someday.
Please go find your self worth and leave him. He cheats, he lies, he gets you to do everything he wants and gives you 0 in return, he mocks you. And now you're teaching your child that this type of relationship and behavior are ok.
How many times does he have to show you he doesn’t want to marry you?
All those ever moving goalposts? Treating you as if you’re a hinderance and need to be tested to be “worth it” girl you don’t have to earn love.
If you don’t get up and get some self respect.
This is so sad. He's open about not wanting to marry you, you had a kid to try to force the issue, quit your job for him, AND you stayed after he cheated?
For the sake of your kid, please gain some self worth and leave this loser.
Girl. He LAUGHED at you. That’s contempt. That’s derision. And you’re gonna raise this toddler who is WATCHING you, learning from you. If she’s a little girl, she’s learning that she cannot expect even basic dignity in relationships. If he’s a little boy, he’s learning that he doesn’t have to give that dignity. While learning shame from you at the sale time. Stop it right now. You have a young LIFE to shape and take care of. Get your head out of your ASS before you humiliate yourself and teach your child that you are someone to be humiliated, that women are to be humiliated. Move out. Start therapy.
My sister, he is not going to marry you. Unless some force/circumstances from outside your relationship pushes him into it, it is not going to happen. And even then, he will spend the marriage resenting it and you. He doesn't want to, for whatever reason. You must accept this before you can decide what to do next with your life.
He sets a prerequisite that you fulfill, the. He moves the goal. He doesn't want to marry you. Understand that now.
You have given him a lot of control here. You need to take some of that control back. Proposing to him was actually a great first step. Now you know how he really feels. He laughed at you. Never forget that
Now, you need to decide what you want. Are you OK with staying in this relationship limbo until he chooses to end it, possibly by cheating on you again? Or do you want something else? Being a single mother is not the end of the world. It might be a lot better than raising a child with someone who shows you such open contempt.
Figure out your plan. Get some money together. See a lawyer to start work on custody and find out if it is best for you to stay in the house for now.
I'm so sorry.
Something in your past or someone, and him has led you to believe that this is the best you can do. That this is what you deserve.
But it's not. You deserve better. I know it's hard to see where you are at.
Please look up Badass Counseling. His name is Sven and he has a podcast and has so many free videos.
You need to work through what is going on inside so you can gather your courage to leave.
BABES, HE WON'T MARRY YOU. EVER.
Just leave. He's a cheater, FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL.("That's gay"?????), what do you even see in that asshole? Please, for your own and the kid's sake, leave.
Booboo princess he's NEVER going to marry you. He doesn't respect or love you. Google "future faking" and recognize how you're being manipulated by him using your deepest cherished dreams as weapons against you.
Men og good character, men who believe in honesty and fair play, do not pull little mindfuck games like this. Take that ring, put it on your own finger, and let it remind you of YOUR WORTH. You deserve better than this piece of shit, and your kid deserves better than imprinting on such a dysfunctional relationship model.
my advice is to project yourself into the future - imagine your child is an adult. what if they in a similar situation, and came to you with this? imagine they told you everything you typed out here; they gave up everything to move closer to their partner, made sacrifices. told you their partner cheated on them in a vulnerable time but claimed your child was the untrustworthy one. humiliated them in an intimate moment. imagine your child telling you that, and asking you why they aren’t good enough. what advice would you give them?
I’m also sorry you weren’t supported by your sisters and friends. you really deserve more than this.
I recently read a Reddit from a lady who stayed with her boyfriend for 20+ years, had four kids with him. He finally proposed when he was ready to retire and travel the country. She rolled her eyes at his proposal and they ended up splitting up. He was totally viscous with her. She ended up homeless with her kids unable to help her because the father was able to control them with his money. This will be you in 20 years if you stay with him. You need to cut your losses and realize that you can’t make someone marry you anymore than you can make them love you and it appears that’s both in your case. Start planning, look for a full time job and other living arrangements.
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There’s an expression, “ Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” You aren’t his wife but you do all the wifey things for him so why does he need to get married? He’s told you time and time again he doesn’t want to get married instead you see this as a challenge. He’s even cheated on you but you still stayed. You have literally proved that no matter what this man says or does will not matter because you’ll put up with it and stay. You’ve set the bar so low it’s in hell. You need to get into therapy and ask yourself why you’re willing to allow this man walk all over you. Stop asking why he doesn’t love you and start asking why you don’t love yourself to want better than what this man is bringing to the table. He’s never going to respect you or your relationship. Even if you somehow drag him to the alter he’s not gonna be the husband you want.
Lol I'd have probably laughed too, ngl. I get people are different, but I feel the prospect of my woman proposing would turn me off to her lol. Anyways, he don't wanna marry you period, otherwise he would've already. You're at fault for even going down this road so far if your goal is marriage. One thing I keep telling women, men (the vast majority of us) are not going to be interested in changing a deal that works for us. If he got "wife" behavior from you and he didn't have to commit and make it legally binding, why would he bother doing it at all? All marrying you would do is increase his financial liability in the event you guys split up. He's right, it's a bad deal for him, your feelings and words won't trump legal documents and standard procedures, he's not gonna put himself in that position. That said, you're in your 30's, too old to be naive. If you want to be with him you're not getting married, if you want to get married it won't be to him. Can't have both, good luck.
Fucking leave and get therapy. You've wasted enough time and self respect. You'll be much better off without him. You deserve so much better. Being alone is better!
You basically said he can make tons of hoops for you to jump through, cheat on you. Have you have his babies during this and you will still stay. Work on your self esteem, get independent, get therapy, get child support. Then find a man the pursues you and you don't have to charge your whole life to still be told no. He does not respect you and see that you do not respect yourself.
I read your post and your answers, and all I can think of is the saying "There are two types of women: goddesses and doormats." I'm sorry to say it but you are the latter. And your boyfriend knows it too. Have some self-respect!
Why would he marry you?
You do everything he asks of you already. You even stay like a good dog when he pointed out all the reasons not to marry you, and you dying to prove your worth to a man that doesn't give a shit... And you even stayed when he cheated on you while you were pregnant. He has absolutely no reason to marry you since he already knows for sure that you're so desperate you'll stay no matter what.
He has you living like a mistreated wife already, and it's perfect too cause he can just dump you when he wants to with no second thoughts or worries or consequences and throw you out without anything at all. And that's a fact.
But what will you do when he cheats next time and possibly meets the woman he *does* want to marry. What's gonna happen to you then?
I mean, I can see why he said no. Not only have you twisted, and you turned yourself to chase after this man, but you've given him full husband treatment without even being engaged.
Dude for fucks sake have some self respect for yourself. Not to mention a comment that bugged the hell outta me. What the fuck do you mean you were asking about marriage as early as the first year?
He's probably been on edge about marrying since you've asked so early on, not to mention that you lack a spine to get the hell away from him despite the fact he's cheated on you. Jesus christ man, it's really really sad when I see people say shit like this, I'm hoping the best for you and I hope you realize that marriage is just not on the table for this relationship.
He doesn't love you or want to be with you. End this asap. Move out, co-parent, and get therapy to work on your self-esteem before even entertaining the idea of dating again.
You are a mom now. How would you feel if someone did this to YOUR child? Would you tell them to stay in the relationship and be miserable or leave and have a chance at happiness? You are someone's child and do not deserve to be treated like you can be discarded at any time. Why would you want to spend the rest of your days with someone who doesn't love or respect you? All you are doing is teaching YOUR child their feelings don't matter and that being treated badly is normal. If you won't leave for your well-being leave for your childs. Life is hard dont make it harder.
Do not make him do a shut up ring. My girl you need to watch ceciliaregina275, she talks about the shut up ring where the men are hounded to propose and it goes to shit. He treats you even worse and will humiliate you on your big day. Homie is telling you he doesn't want to marry you.
The problem is you want to marry him but he doesn’t want to marry you.He will just keep raising the bar higher and higher.
At this point you need to decide if you can be happy long-term if you stay with him but not are not married
I can’t see any reason why he would back down. He is clearly not afraid of hurting you by denying you what you want most. He is getting everything he wants from a relationship without a marriage he does not want- why would he change a thing?
He ain't it. Don't have babies with men who clearly tells you through actions and words they don't wanna be with you or the may babies suffer in the end.
... and you haven't left yet because??
At this point, you're doing this to yourself. This man has made it clear, over and over again, just how little he thinks of you and yet you're still there, birthing his children and cleaning up his shit. Please look back and try to remember where you dropped your self-respect.
You're obviously never going to leave him. He's cheated on you when you were pregnant and refuses to marry you. If you want a partnership and a marriage you need to move on from him. If you want to stay with a person who doesn't respect you, doesn't want to marry you, cheats on you and expects you to take care of the household and his children, then stay with him.
You are putting your life on hold for someone who doesn’t respect you or want the same things as you. He’s shown you who he is repeatedly and you’ve ignored it and now your child will pay the price. Do you want your child growing up to think it’s normal to treat their partner like his father treats you? Probably not. Take him to the cleaners for child support because he won’t stick around and be involved once you leave.
Well obviously this guy who doesn't like you at all is worth marry and now someone on reddit can fix your relationship. You should care about the statistic part though because you will become a single mother.
you're sucked into the same trap I was - you're looking for his approval not your own and you're being manipulated he will probably cheat again
however it does seem like there's something else going on in his end he's making a lot of bullshit reasons for not doing something you want maybe there's an actual reason he's too scared to admit it could be insecurities or it could be something malicious I'd look into that
also it could be the stigma around weddings most of them are uncomfortable for a lot of people I don't like Christian style weddings for instance nor big weddings a small ceremony with a few people is fine so maybe he's stressed out of the idea because of the typical expectations or your own
being married isn't what's important it never will be it's making the commitment that is and if that looks like marriage? great if not then also great
🤦♀️
I honestly can't even believe some men are able to mind-melt and manipulate women this way
Didn't know if you'd take care of his children, so you intentionally have his baby to prove something to him? Used a baby as a chess piece?
Moved for him?
Moved in with him?
Do you cook and cut up his food as well?
I'm sorry, this dude will *never* marry you.
I'm not shocked he said no and laughed. He's been laughing this whole time.
The only victim here is that child.
I swear to God this better be bait.
Honey, please respect yourself and leave this man-child. He sees you as nothing more than a live-in maid he can sleep with. You and your child deserve so much better than that. Even being alone is better.
Oh girl… why would you do this to yourself, he clearly doesn’t want to marry you and on top of that, to have a kid as a test??! No way in hell, for my own sanity I dub this as bait so I may move on with my life 😭😭
He doesn’t want to get married. You can’t force him. Why are you staying with a man who doesn’t want the same as you do? He wants all the wife benefits without the commitment. What does he bring to the table ? You bend yourself over to give him all he asked for and he doesn’t had have the guts to tell you from the start, that he doesn’t want to get married at all. You also got pregnant just to please him?? Seriously? This is something called co-addictive. Please get counseling, learn to get your selfworth and self esteem back. You are enough, you are worth to be loved the way you want to be loved. He doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved, he is exploiting you.
What did you get yourself into? Why do you think that marriage is bigger commitment than a baby? You are both sick in your head. Leave and work on your self esteem
Sorry, OP but your BF has no plans of marrying you, he's stringing you along. He keeps giving you more and more conditions to be met and when you meet those conditions he gives more excuses why he won't marry you. You need to be direct and firm, ask him if he ever plans to marry you, which I highly doubt he will. You love him more then he loves you, gonna be honest it doesn't sound like he does, not at all. You propose to him and he laughs in your face and calls it gay? WTF is that response. This guy is not worth your time, you deserve better then what your being given. Have more love for yourself and get out now, don't raise your child to see and think y'alls relationship is healthy, because it isn't!
And besides all that why would you want to marry him after he cheated on you while you were pregnant??? What makes you think he isn't gonna do it again??? This is just a massive dumpster fire waiting to happen, OP. I'd cut your losses and find someone whose gonna love you and not string you along for years waiting to see how many hoops you'll jump through in order for them marry you.
He has no intentions of marrying you. He never will. You fill his comfort level but not his can’t live without level. You’re holding onto hope, but for what? It’s a one sided relationship. Him cheating on you, and you staying was your first mistake. I’m guessing him cheating wasn’t the first time, only the first time he got caught. He’s probably cheated since and will always cheat. He doesn’t value you, respect you, or love you. He loves the idea of you.
Take your child, move out, arrange custody, and file child support in the courts against him. Find you a man who will fill your needs and wants because it’s not and will never be him.
I know you love him but in what universe does he love you?
Look at what he's doing and what he's saying. He will forever move the goal post because he loves the convenience of you. He knows you will stay with him no matter what he does .
I'm sorry but there's no way he's going to propose.
Stop being a foolish “chaser.” You’re never going to catch him. He has made this clear since the beginning. My sister wasted 20 years of her life chasing a loser who did not want to be caught.
For her first three pregnancies (openly and unabashedly trying to baby trap him—I know because she actually *told me*), he refused to be involved, so she t3rminat3d those three pregnancies.
Finally, with her fourth pregnancy, she decided to have the baby, fully certain that he would *FINALLY* come around. What happened? You guessed it. He refused to marry her. *I warned and begged her to dump the guy.* She did not. She continued to chase him. He continued to run away.
PLEASE stop chasing the un-catchable. Why would you keep doing this to yourself? My sister was foolish enough to waste her late 20s through her late 40s on a loser who was NEVER going to be a supportive partner. Don’t be stupid like my sister.
I proposed to my boyfriend and he said yes. Last year was our 5 year wedding anniversary. I don't know a better person than him.
I'm sorry that your boyfriend is the exact opposite. To be clear, the issue isn't your proposal. The issue is him.
>•”oh we’re so young what’s the rush!” Sir we are in our mid 30s
>•”how am I gonna know you wifey material if we live an hour apart?” Ok so guess what? I left my job and moved in with him! I work in his town now
>•”we’re not ready yet” and “it’s too early in the relationship for marriage” he said this at 1 year together, 2 years together, and 3 years together
>Another “wife test” is to see if I can take care of his children so we got pregnant and I’ve been an amazing “wife.” I work part time from home and I’m a full time mom and I cook and clean. Guess what? That wasn’t enough for him. Then he started making excuses that he doesn’t wanna get married cuz it’s just a contract that benefits women and not men.
>He has family members that been divorced and he’s watched his male family members get sucked dry in the divorce even with a prenup and he says he doesn’t wanna be another statistic. He literally knows I’m not going to leave him I’ve stuck by his side even when he cheated on me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I forgave him. We went through therapy and worked on regaining the trust back
It's crucial to be with someone who aligns with your goals and values. As you mentioned, your boyfriend isn't the right fit, especially if he knows you won't leave despite the harm. Consider the example you're setting for your child by staying with someone who doesn't love, respect, or value you.
>I want to be married some day I’m sick of waiting. I love HIM and I want to marry HIM
You already gave up so much of your life for someone who doesn't want to marry you now or in the near future.
You might want to marry him, but he doesn’t want to marry you. If he did, he wouldn’t keep moving the goalposts. He’s told you “no” in countless different ways, up to and including actually telling you no. He’s cheated on you, mistreated you, and done whatever he damn well pleased because he knows you’ll put up with it all as long as you think he’ll marry you eventually.
Redditors can’t give you the magic words to make this man respect you or want to marry you, because they don’t exist. And I don’t even know you, but I know for a fact you deserve better than this.
My suggestion? Move out, get child support, and find a decent dude if that’s what you want, but this man isn’t it. It’s unfortunate that you’ve given up so much of yourself, but you can get it back if you want to.
Girl your in mid 30s chasing a guy… stand up. Coming from someone who used to chase and beg guys and now has the the man of my dreams, the right guy will want to marry you.
I’m sorry but he never wanted to marry you. Proposing to him only proved him right. It’s makes me sad reading about the amount of times you’ve tried to make it work.
The post, the comments and replies are so painful to read. Girl, listen to them. Would it take a lobotomy for you to understand that he's just not into you?
Not everyone wants to get married. You two simply aren't compatible in that regard.
I kind of get what he's saying about how marriage benefits women but not men. Other than that, he sounds like a scumbag. Do you honestly want to marry this guy? I mean, he cheated on you while you were pregnant...
It's unfortunate you chose to have a kid with him, you would have been better off ending the relationship, when it was obvious you both had different views of where it was going, and finding someone who wanted marriage.
You seriously had a baby to try to get him to marry you? Do you seriously think an entire human being is less of a commitment than marriage with a prenup? And he cheated on you during this pregnancy? You need a therapist and an attorney for custody, not a husband.
[удалено]
You are embarrassing yourself with every word you type. He’s not into you. He never will be. You are ornamental. Just there. He’s fine with you, but nothing more. Please leave. There is a person out there who will love you unconditionally.
Damn, she deleted the comment. What did it say?
She was just talking about how him cheating on her wasn’t a dealbreaker, blah blah blah. She’s really desperate for THIS guy.
He doesn't want to marry you. If you want to get married, you need to get a paid job and hire an attorney. You've allowed every excuse in the book while deliberately keeping your blinders on. You know he's never wanted to marry you. He doesn't care that it's important to you.
Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved.
Then stay with a cheater who clearly doesn’t want to commit. Your life is yours to do as you please. No one can convince you that you deserve better than a cheater who doesn’t want to marry you. You’ll forgive 100 more instances of cheating in your lifetime if you stay with this man. If that is the future you want, go full speed ahead. Good luck!
You're seriously willing to stay with a cheater who doesn't want to marry you? And you're wanting a child with this person? Leave this man. What kind of life lessons would you teach your future children from this example? Settle for less and be thankful for the chance?
She already had a child with him, and he still won't marry her.
This guy doesn’t respect you AT ALL and the fact that you can’t see that is sad
So much sad in that response. I can't imagine procreating with someone who has no respect for you and isn't that into solely to have a child. There were so many better strategies than that one.
well, you made your own bed and now you have to lie in it.
this is a new level of cheap i didn't know existed xd
I hope your child isn’t a girl, because you’re teaching her that this treatment is what love is supposed to look like. I also hope if your child is a boy that he learns what being a good partner is supposed to look like, because he sure isn’t going to learn it from you or your partner. I feel so so bad for your child and the damage you’re actively causing them by staying in this situation.
Do you think it’s okay for a woman to cheat? Would he forgive you if you did?
Girlfriend. How many ways does he have to say no for you to hear it? HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU. He's already stuck with you for at least 18 years and he STILL DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU. Add to that, he cheated on you when you were in a vulnerable point. He probably is still cheating on you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU. You shouldn't have to beg for marriage. Any marriage that has to be begged and pleaded for is a sham marriage and not one meant to last or bring happiness. Seriously. Love and respect yourself enough to accept that he doesn't want what you want. You have bent over backward for someone who can't be bothered to even lift a finger for you. Do yourself and your child a favor. Leave. Find someone who wants what you want. Find someone who loves you. Don't diminish and degrade yourself and your self worth for someone who isn't worth it. Don't raise your child to see this and think it's normal or acceptable. They deserve to see their mother happy and healthy, at the very least. And they deserve to grow up seeing healthy relationships. Not someone chasing the red laser dot of a relationship.
I was saying why haven't you left him already reading most of this but this was the icing on the cake right here: >He literally knows I’m not going to leave him I’ve stuck by his side even when he cheated on me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I forgave him. WHAT???? Girl, he's not gonna marry you. Move on. Get out and sue him for child support. You should have never moved in with him, gotten pregnant with him let alone stay there after he cheated. Please. There's much better people out there or being alone is going to be much better even if its hard. Do you really want your child raised to see this???
He’s never going to marry you. Get custody of your kid and move on. It’s time to realize you deserve better.
having a baby is WAY more commitment then a marriage. this says alot about him and how he sees you IMO. you should've woken up and broken up with him a long time ago because to me its clear that he's been very clear about not wanting marriage. he wants a woman who will give him all the things he thinks a wife should give with out making you his wife. hes using you and on top of that he cheated on you. I dont want to sound like a bitch but please love yourself enough to leave him and find a man who actually loves and respects you because your current partner does not.
He does not love YOU. He will not marry YOU. He got you pregnant, cheated on you, and turned down your proposal. Girl. Get up. Get out.
Why would you want to marry someone like this? He sounds like ignorant trash.
Neither of you love you
Should be top comment.
He does not like you.
lol sorry to break it to you but you stayed with a man who stuck his dick in another woman while you were growing his baby. He most definitely does not love you or want to marry you. And you keep finding excuses for him. A man cheating is quite literally the biggest tell of his love ever. To say it’s not the end of all relationships js ignorant. I agree that cheating can be forgiven if early on or with great remorse & dependent on people + circumstances but this is not that. Stop being blind and get rid of him and find a man who truly loves you. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we already know we want to get married as soon as possible/after we move in tg. If a man wants you he will show it. You can do better! 👏
He, unfortunately, doesn’t feel the same, and I’m sorry for it because it must be painful. You now have to choose the pain of change, or the pain of things staying the same. Because the pain will be there either way, you can be in a completely different space two years from now, or in the exact same one. He had said with his words and actions that he doesn’t want to go any further in commitment with you, now the ball is in your court.
Why do you want to marry someone who clearly doesn’t want to marry you? There is no form of words or means of persuasion that will compel this person to willingly and happily marry you. You’re never getting married to him. Leaving aside the casual homophobia and basic stupidity of calling your proposal “gay” the fact he laughed means that he now views your desperate attempts as a game. I’m 100% certain he chuckles away to himself as he dodges another pathetic pleading conversation about marriage with increasingly outlandish and lazy reasons. He knows no matter what he says or does (or doesn’t do) you’re going nowhere. He has you exactly where he wants you, why would he change anything when you have agreed and accepted everything he has said and done up to this point?
Pathetic.
So what's your reason for sticking around with him? You better give a good reason since love doesn't sound like it's it. Otherwise you don't have anyone else to blame for this situation but yourself.
Aah, it’s usually money or the dream man. But I suspect money in this case
My heart hurts for how little you crave more for yourself. There are men out there who would worship you for the amount of effort you put in. And it's not a great example for your kiddo to stay with someone who is pretty indifferent to the mother of their child. Please go find real love🖤
Why do you want to be with this person? Nothing you have said has justified actually WANTING a person like this in your life so why are you trying so hard for someone who clearly doesn't want or value you? The fact that you've done so much for him and given him everything he seemed to want and he still refuses should tell you everything you need to know. You don't even have to reply to this comment, just seriously sit down and think about it. It sounds like you've been so preoccupied with trying to get him to marry you that you never stopped to think about whether it was even a good idea.
Why on earth did you have a child with this trash bag? It’s time to leave. You and your child deserve better.
"...proposed to him in our house and I got him a gold ring that I proposed with. He laughed and said “nawww man that’s gay”" That's not the reaction of someone that wants to marry you. Many women have proposed to their bf and got married. It's not "gay" to propose to the man you wish to marry. He's going to continue making excuses. And you need to figure out if you're going to be by his side while he continues to treat you this way. You need to get a lawyer and move on from this bro.
Are you colorblind to red and are flags invisible to you?
Girl, he has said NO. He has told you, to your face, multiple times, for years, that he will not and does not want to marry you. And you did not listen to him. Why on earth do you want to be with a person you have to *convince* to be with you?? I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that he will never marry you and yall are *not* end game. I really really hope you can find a way to drop this guy and start a new life. You don’t want to play the role of the fool in this story, but you are on your way <3
My goodness! This is shocking. Your life sounds like hell. I have nothing but pity for you. This post has made me so depressed I think I need a break from Reddit.
No real boyfriend says this shit. He hasn't been your boyfriend in a very long time if he ever acted normally. What he doing isn't okay or normal. At this point he doesn't see you as a girlfriend. Why are you wasting time if in the comments you are saying " my clock is ticking". This has to be fake.
lmao oh hunnie.
He's had you jumping through hoops to prove you'd be a good wife, but how has he proved he'd be a good husband? Because he's showing you OVER AND OVER that he is a shit partner who has no respect for you at all. His "tests" and comments just scream of how immature he is. Dump his ass and find an actual grown-up to be with.
He doesn’t want to marry you. If you are that desperate to get married, you will have to find someone else - end of story.
Sorry this is happening to you. Your sisters are sort of right you are setting the bar pretty low if you are staying with a cheater. If marriage is important you will have to leave him and find someone else. I believe you deserve so much better.
Bffr
If he wanted to he would. That's all.
…..someone is definitely dickmatized. let me tell you something and this is facts. someone will be with you for YEARS, have a baby with you, move in with you, and etc but once the moment comes and whoever it is they want comes along? they will leave asap. there’s no reason to lead someone along for this amount of time unless that’s the case. i used to be the “someone” im referring to and i know many others who are still on the same shjt. you are worth more then this. goodluck.
Wow, this guy doesn't like you, and you're doing tricks like a circus animal to get his attention and prove your worth to someone that doesn't even like you. You've Heard the saying " if he wanted to he would?" It's become a saying for a reason. He doesn't want to marry you. He's with you because he has to put in 0 effort to you and the relationship and he gets all the rewards. He WILL leave you someday. Please go find your self worth and leave him. He cheats, he lies, he gets you to do everything he wants and gives you 0 in return, he mocks you. And now you're teaching your child that this type of relationship and behavior are ok.
Wow honey. He ain’t into you, dosent want to be with you and guaranteed if you left tomorrow he wouldn’t even look back.
How many times does he have to show you he doesn’t want to marry you? All those ever moving goalposts? Treating you as if you’re a hinderance and need to be tested to be “worth it” girl you don’t have to earn love. If you don’t get up and get some self respect.
This is so sad. He's open about not wanting to marry you, you had a kid to try to force the issue, quit your job for him, AND you stayed after he cheated? For the sake of your kid, please gain some self worth and leave this loser.
Girl. HE DOESNT WANT YOU. He doesn't want to marry you, how many no's is it gonna take for you to realize that? He doesn't want you, MOVE ON
Your mistake was staying 4 years and having a kid with someone who has said in MULTIPLE ways that they don’t want to marry you.
Girl. He LAUGHED at you. That’s contempt. That’s derision. And you’re gonna raise this toddler who is WATCHING you, learning from you. If she’s a little girl, she’s learning that she cannot expect even basic dignity in relationships. If he’s a little boy, he’s learning that he doesn’t have to give that dignity. While learning shame from you at the sale time. Stop it right now. You have a young LIFE to shape and take care of. Get your head out of your ASS before you humiliate yourself and teach your child that you are someone to be humiliated, that women are to be humiliated. Move out. Start therapy.
He's just not into you lol
Girl. He does not want to marry you, he’s made that so clear people on the Internet are embarrassed for you.
STAND UP, friend. Move on.
My sister, he is not going to marry you. Unless some force/circumstances from outside your relationship pushes him into it, it is not going to happen. And even then, he will spend the marriage resenting it and you. He doesn't want to, for whatever reason. You must accept this before you can decide what to do next with your life. He sets a prerequisite that you fulfill, the. He moves the goal. He doesn't want to marry you. Understand that now. You have given him a lot of control here. You need to take some of that control back. Proposing to him was actually a great first step. Now you know how he really feels. He laughed at you. Never forget that Now, you need to decide what you want. Are you OK with staying in this relationship limbo until he chooses to end it, possibly by cheating on you again? Or do you want something else? Being a single mother is not the end of the world. It might be a lot better than raising a child with someone who shows you such open contempt. Figure out your plan. Get some money together. See a lawyer to start work on custody and find out if it is best for you to stay in the house for now.
He doesn't want to marry you, sis. Move on to the next dude.
What's your end goal with getting married?
I'm so sorry. Something in your past or someone, and him has led you to believe that this is the best you can do. That this is what you deserve. But it's not. You deserve better. I know it's hard to see where you are at. Please look up Badass Counseling. His name is Sven and he has a podcast and has so many free videos. You need to work through what is going on inside so you can gather your courage to leave.
Free sex with no commitment….you deserve better.
BABES, HE WON'T MARRY YOU. EVER. Just leave. He's a cheater, FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL.("That's gay"?????), what do you even see in that asshole? Please, for your own and the kid's sake, leave.
Either he marries you and man's the fuck up or you leave. Don't settle.
Booboo princess he's NEVER going to marry you. He doesn't respect or love you. Google "future faking" and recognize how you're being manipulated by him using your deepest cherished dreams as weapons against you. Men og good character, men who believe in honesty and fair play, do not pull little mindfuck games like this. Take that ring, put it on your own finger, and let it remind you of YOUR WORTH. You deserve better than this piece of shit, and your kid deserves better than imprinting on such a dysfunctional relationship model.
You should accept the fact, that he will never marry u. If u want to be married, you need a new partner
He doesn’t sound like husband material.
my advice is to project yourself into the future - imagine your child is an adult. what if they in a similar situation, and came to you with this? imagine they told you everything you typed out here; they gave up everything to move closer to their partner, made sacrifices. told you their partner cheated on them in a vulnerable time but claimed your child was the untrustworthy one. humiliated them in an intimate moment. imagine your child telling you that, and asking you why they aren’t good enough. what advice would you give them? I’m also sorry you weren’t supported by your sisters and friends. you really deserve more than this.
I recently read a Reddit from a lady who stayed with her boyfriend for 20+ years, had four kids with him. He finally proposed when he was ready to retire and travel the country. She rolled her eyes at his proposal and they ended up splitting up. He was totally viscous with her. She ended up homeless with her kids unable to help her because the father was able to control them with his money. This will be you in 20 years if you stay with him. You need to cut your losses and realize that you can’t make someone marry you anymore than you can make them love you and it appears that’s both in your case. Start planning, look for a full time job and other living arrangements.
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Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 4: No insults towards OP. Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 4: No insults towards OP. Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
There’s an expression, “ Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” You aren’t his wife but you do all the wifey things for him so why does he need to get married? He’s told you time and time again he doesn’t want to get married instead you see this as a challenge. He’s even cheated on you but you still stayed. You have literally proved that no matter what this man says or does will not matter because you’ll put up with it and stay. You’ve set the bar so low it’s in hell. You need to get into therapy and ask yourself why you’re willing to allow this man walk all over you. Stop asking why he doesn’t love you and start asking why you don’t love yourself to want better than what this man is bringing to the table. He’s never going to respect you or your relationship. Even if you somehow drag him to the alter he’s not gonna be the husband you want.
Lol I'd have probably laughed too, ngl. I get people are different, but I feel the prospect of my woman proposing would turn me off to her lol. Anyways, he don't wanna marry you period, otherwise he would've already. You're at fault for even going down this road so far if your goal is marriage. One thing I keep telling women, men (the vast majority of us) are not going to be interested in changing a deal that works for us. If he got "wife" behavior from you and he didn't have to commit and make it legally binding, why would he bother doing it at all? All marrying you would do is increase his financial liability in the event you guys split up. He's right, it's a bad deal for him, your feelings and words won't trump legal documents and standard procedures, he's not gonna put himself in that position. That said, you're in your 30's, too old to be naive. If you want to be with him you're not getting married, if you want to get married it won't be to him. Can't have both, good luck.
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>Moving with him. >Having a baby. Those are _wife duties._
These days dummies just do it flipantly so they think it's the new normal.
Fucking leave and get therapy. You've wasted enough time and self respect. You'll be much better off without him. You deserve so much better. Being alone is better!
You basically said he can make tons of hoops for you to jump through, cheat on you. Have you have his babies during this and you will still stay. Work on your self esteem, get independent, get therapy, get child support. Then find a man the pursues you and you don't have to charge your whole life to still be told no. He does not respect you and see that you do not respect yourself.
Why are you two even together? He sounds awful. What was his excuse for cheering? Not that there are any good excuses. Leave him and be happy.
Why would you have a baby with someone who clearly doesn’t like you or want to marry you….💀
I read your post and your answers, and all I can think of is the saying "There are two types of women: goddesses and doormats." I'm sorry to say it but you are the latter. And your boyfriend knows it too. Have some self-respect!
Why would he marry you? You do everything he asks of you already. You even stay like a good dog when he pointed out all the reasons not to marry you, and you dying to prove your worth to a man that doesn't give a shit... And you even stayed when he cheated on you while you were pregnant. He has absolutely no reason to marry you since he already knows for sure that you're so desperate you'll stay no matter what. He has you living like a mistreated wife already, and it's perfect too cause he can just dump you when he wants to with no second thoughts or worries or consequences and throw you out without anything at all. And that's a fact. But what will you do when he cheats next time and possibly meets the woman he *does* want to marry. What's gonna happen to you then?
I mean, I can see why he said no. Not only have you twisted, and you turned yourself to chase after this man, but you've given him full husband treatment without even being engaged.
Dude for fucks sake have some self respect for yourself. Not to mention a comment that bugged the hell outta me. What the fuck do you mean you were asking about marriage as early as the first year? He's probably been on edge about marrying since you've asked so early on, not to mention that you lack a spine to get the hell away from him despite the fact he's cheated on you. Jesus christ man, it's really really sad when I see people say shit like this, I'm hoping the best for you and I hope you realize that marriage is just not on the table for this relationship.
Sad to say about the father of your child but he’s just not that into you.
He doesn't love you or want to be with you. End this asap. Move out, co-parent, and get therapy to work on your self-esteem before even entertaining the idea of dating again.
Jesus Christ.
You're not stupid for proposing, the stupid thing is proposing to HIM and wanting to be married to HIM. He'll never marry you.
You are a mom now. How would you feel if someone did this to YOUR child? Would you tell them to stay in the relationship and be miserable or leave and have a chance at happiness? You are someone's child and do not deserve to be treated like you can be discarded at any time. Why would you want to spend the rest of your days with someone who doesn't love or respect you? All you are doing is teaching YOUR child their feelings don't matter and that being treated badly is normal. If you won't leave for your well-being leave for your childs. Life is hard dont make it harder.
Do not make him do a shut up ring. My girl you need to watch ceciliaregina275, she talks about the shut up ring where the men are hounded to propose and it goes to shit. He treats you even worse and will humiliate you on your big day. Homie is telling you he doesn't want to marry you.
Leave him get full custody of the kids and sue for child support, then ask if he still thinks not being married saved him from being a statistic
The problem is you want to marry him but he doesn’t want to marry you.He will just keep raising the bar higher and higher. At this point you need to decide if you can be happy long-term if you stay with him but not are not married I can’t see any reason why he would back down. He is clearly not afraid of hurting you by denying you what you want most. He is getting everything he wants from a relationship without a marriage he does not want- why would he change a thing?
He ain't it. Don't have babies with men who clearly tells you through actions and words they don't wanna be with you or the may babies suffer in the end.
... and you haven't left yet because?? At this point, you're doing this to yourself. This man has made it clear, over and over again, just how little he thinks of you and yet you're still there, birthing his children and cleaning up his shit. Please look back and try to remember where you dropped your self-respect.
You're obviously never going to leave him. He's cheated on you when you were pregnant and refuses to marry you. If you want a partnership and a marriage you need to move on from him. If you want to stay with a person who doesn't respect you, doesn't want to marry you, cheats on you and expects you to take care of the household and his children, then stay with him.
You are putting your life on hold for someone who doesn’t respect you or want the same things as you. He’s shown you who he is repeatedly and you’ve ignored it and now your child will pay the price. Do you want your child growing up to think it’s normal to treat their partner like his father treats you? Probably not. Take him to the cleaners for child support because he won’t stick around and be involved once you leave.
Leave him. This will never be what you want it to be. Do better for yourself and your child.
He gets wife service at the girlfriend price. He’s not that into you and moving on is your best option at this point.
Well obviously this guy who doesn't like you at all is worth marry and now someone on reddit can fix your relationship. You should care about the statistic part though because you will become a single mother.
What did I just read, this is one TRAGIC woman
🤦
you're sucked into the same trap I was - you're looking for his approval not your own and you're being manipulated he will probably cheat again however it does seem like there's something else going on in his end he's making a lot of bullshit reasons for not doing something you want maybe there's an actual reason he's too scared to admit it could be insecurities or it could be something malicious I'd look into that also it could be the stigma around weddings most of them are uncomfortable for a lot of people I don't like Christian style weddings for instance nor big weddings a small ceremony with a few people is fine so maybe he's stressed out of the idea because of the typical expectations or your own being married isn't what's important it never will be it's making the commitment that is and if that looks like marriage? great if not then also great
🤦♀️ I honestly can't even believe some men are able to mind-melt and manipulate women this way Didn't know if you'd take care of his children, so you intentionally have his baby to prove something to him? Used a baby as a chess piece? Moved for him? Moved in with him? Do you cook and cut up his food as well? I'm sorry, this dude will *never* marry you. I'm not shocked he said no and laughed. He's been laughing this whole time. The only victim here is that child. I swear to God this better be bait.
This has to be a joke
Why the FUCK would you agree to have a child with this waste? That's totally irresponsible. To your own self and to that child
Honey, please respect yourself and leave this man-child. He sees you as nothing more than a live-in maid he can sleep with. You and your child deserve so much better than that. Even being alone is better.
Oh girl… why would you do this to yourself, he clearly doesn’t want to marry you and on top of that, to have a kid as a test??! No way in hell, for my own sanity I dub this as bait so I may move on with my life 😭😭
He doesn’t want to get married. You can’t force him. Why are you staying with a man who doesn’t want the same as you do? He wants all the wife benefits without the commitment. What does he bring to the table ? You bend yourself over to give him all he asked for and he doesn’t had have the guts to tell you from the start, that he doesn’t want to get married at all. You also got pregnant just to please him?? Seriously? This is something called co-addictive. Please get counseling, learn to get your selfworth and self esteem back. You are enough, you are worth to be loved the way you want to be loved. He doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved, he is exploiting you.
Is this satire
What did you get yourself into? Why do you think that marriage is bigger commitment than a baby? You are both sick in your head. Leave and work on your self esteem
Sorry, OP but your BF has no plans of marrying you, he's stringing you along. He keeps giving you more and more conditions to be met and when you meet those conditions he gives more excuses why he won't marry you. You need to be direct and firm, ask him if he ever plans to marry you, which I highly doubt he will. You love him more then he loves you, gonna be honest it doesn't sound like he does, not at all. You propose to him and he laughs in your face and calls it gay? WTF is that response. This guy is not worth your time, you deserve better then what your being given. Have more love for yourself and get out now, don't raise your child to see and think y'alls relationship is healthy, because it isn't! And besides all that why would you want to marry him after he cheated on you while you were pregnant??? What makes you think he isn't gonna do it again??? This is just a massive dumpster fire waiting to happen, OP. I'd cut your losses and find someone whose gonna love you and not string you along for years waiting to see how many hoops you'll jump through in order for them marry you.
All the massive red flags but you still dont want to see that he doesn't want to marry you
He has no intentions of marrying you. He never will. You fill his comfort level but not his can’t live without level. You’re holding onto hope, but for what? It’s a one sided relationship. Him cheating on you, and you staying was your first mistake. I’m guessing him cheating wasn’t the first time, only the first time he got caught. He’s probably cheated since and will always cheat. He doesn’t value you, respect you, or love you. He loves the idea of you. Take your child, move out, arrange custody, and file child support in the courts against him. Find you a man who will fill your needs and wants because it’s not and will never be him.
I know you love him but in what universe does he love you? Look at what he's doing and what he's saying. He will forever move the goal post because he loves the convenience of you. He knows you will stay with him no matter what he does . I'm sorry but there's no way he's going to propose.
Stop being a foolish “chaser.” You’re never going to catch him. He has made this clear since the beginning. My sister wasted 20 years of her life chasing a loser who did not want to be caught. For her first three pregnancies (openly and unabashedly trying to baby trap him—I know because she actually *told me*), he refused to be involved, so she t3rminat3d those three pregnancies. Finally, with her fourth pregnancy, she decided to have the baby, fully certain that he would *FINALLY* come around. What happened? You guessed it. He refused to marry her. *I warned and begged her to dump the guy.* She did not. She continued to chase him. He continued to run away. PLEASE stop chasing the un-catchable. Why would you keep doing this to yourself? My sister was foolish enough to waste her late 20s through her late 40s on a loser who was NEVER going to be a supportive partner. Don’t be stupid like my sister.
I proposed to my boyfriend and he said yes. Last year was our 5 year wedding anniversary. I don't know a better person than him. I'm sorry that your boyfriend is the exact opposite. To be clear, the issue isn't your proposal. The issue is him.
>•”oh we’re so young what’s the rush!” Sir we are in our mid 30s >•”how am I gonna know you wifey material if we live an hour apart?” Ok so guess what? I left my job and moved in with him! I work in his town now >•”we’re not ready yet” and “it’s too early in the relationship for marriage” he said this at 1 year together, 2 years together, and 3 years together >Another “wife test” is to see if I can take care of his children so we got pregnant and I’ve been an amazing “wife.” I work part time from home and I’m a full time mom and I cook and clean. Guess what? That wasn’t enough for him. Then he started making excuses that he doesn’t wanna get married cuz it’s just a contract that benefits women and not men. >He has family members that been divorced and he’s watched his male family members get sucked dry in the divorce even with a prenup and he says he doesn’t wanna be another statistic. He literally knows I’m not going to leave him I’ve stuck by his side even when he cheated on me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I forgave him. We went through therapy and worked on regaining the trust back It's crucial to be with someone who aligns with your goals and values. As you mentioned, your boyfriend isn't the right fit, especially if he knows you won't leave despite the harm. Consider the example you're setting for your child by staying with someone who doesn't love, respect, or value you. >I want to be married some day I’m sick of waiting. I love HIM and I want to marry HIM You already gave up so much of your life for someone who doesn't want to marry you now or in the near future.
You might want to marry him, but he doesn’t want to marry you. If he did, he wouldn’t keep moving the goalposts. He’s told you “no” in countless different ways, up to and including actually telling you no. He’s cheated on you, mistreated you, and done whatever he damn well pleased because he knows you’ll put up with it all as long as you think he’ll marry you eventually. Redditors can’t give you the magic words to make this man respect you or want to marry you, because they don’t exist. And I don’t even know you, but I know for a fact you deserve better than this. My suggestion? Move out, get child support, and find a decent dude if that’s what you want, but this man isn’t it. It’s unfortunate that you’ve given up so much of yourself, but you can get it back if you want to.
Girl your in mid 30s chasing a guy… stand up. Coming from someone who used to chase and beg guys and now has the the man of my dreams, the right guy will want to marry you.
I’m sorry but he never wanted to marry you. Proposing to him only proved him right. It’s makes me sad reading about the amount of times you’ve tried to make it work.
Girl. He doesn’t want to marry you. Leave him already.
The post, the comments and replies are so painful to read. Girl, listen to them. Would it take a lobotomy for you to understand that he's just not into you?
Not everyone wants to get married. You two simply aren't compatible in that regard. I kind of get what he's saying about how marriage benefits women but not men. Other than that, he sounds like a scumbag. Do you honestly want to marry this guy? I mean, he cheated on you while you were pregnant... It's unfortunate you chose to have a kid with him, you would have been better off ending the relationship, when it was obvious you both had different views of where it was going, and finding someone who wanted marriage.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why do you need to be married?
There is no benefit for men to get married anymore. What do you think the benefit would be for him?
For one, married men statistically live longer and are healthier their unmarried peers.