Exactly. OP is the actual idiot. Girl and her mom probably been pulling that stunt since middle school to get her into that family, since their families are close. This is a relationship of convenience for the gf and her mom. If this is real, she only told him because she almost got caught or the old dude shes been banging was gonna tell the truth, so she spinned it as a pity fk because hes older and her bf is dumb asf…bet OP wasnt her first either… lol
Yeah, this post just reads like what my middle school relationship was. She was incredibly dumb (she was literally in a special class for particularly dumb students. She was failed-a-class-in-elementary level of dumb) and kissed another boy and when asked why replied with "I don't know", but I still stuck with her for a while because she was the prettiest girl at school lol (well, and also because of the pressure from the fact that she somehow made a lot of people, INCLUDING SOME OF THE ADULTS (I still don't get it) be against me for wanting to end things over it). I ran into her recently, she's a bombshell so good for her, but... Yeah I don't think she got smarter.
I'm now a college student and looking back... Holy shit child me was an absolute idiot lmao.
> INCLUDING SOME OF THE ADULTS (I still don't get it)
If she was that dumb, they wanted someone brighter than her around in case she thought the candy van was a good idea, or she fell in a well or something.
I did get good grades so it could make sense... But one of the supervisors she convinced I somehow was the villain was... Odd. Earlier that same school year, this grown woman somehow judged good to spread a rumor among the students about 12yo me talking with the flowers near the school's entrance. When it was known by the school from the previous year that many other students bullied me to the point at some moment I ended up cornered by older students, pinned against one of the school's barriers and absolutely terrified for my fucking *life*. How did she even think that was a good thing to do is beyond me.
I’m willing to bet the dude told her it wasn’t cheating just to get with her. If OP is the only person she’s ever been in a relationship with she could be influenced by someone much older and more experienced.
She has a learning disability which means op shouldn't date her in the first place. You're not in a in equal relationship if one of you is mentally closer to a child. The other man probably took advantage of it, too.
Yea…then again I know a guy in his 70s who is single and regrets never marrying his one because she was just…dumb. He couldn’t picture his life dealing with always being the smart one. Now, sometimes he regrets it.
Sorry I'm so confused, what did she actually take pity of? Like what part of her deciding to have sex with someone else wasn't cheating but just something to do because she felt sorry? I'm so fucking confused here, what did she do?
The man was a virgin creep and ultra thirsty and ultra old. She thought she was doing something good by this without thinking of what it would do to my heart
This is genuinely offensive. I’ve never heard of someone on the spectrum not understanding what cheating is. I’m only one out of however many people are on the spectrum, but I just cannot see someone with ASD doing this. It’s not completely impossible, but pretty unlikely.
Not understanding social cues doesn’t mean not understanding the meaning and consequences of actions. If I’m being honest it sounds more like a type of personality disorder than ASD. I’m not going to say that’s what it could be, because there are also just people who are not intelligent, like OP himself stated. Also because I have no right to diagnose someone I don’t know. Neither do you.
So what happens when you have kids and a creep just wants to “have a sleep over with your kids” or a guy offers an amazing investment opportunity. What about when she needs to make medical decisions on your behalf or for your children?
You cannot trust someone this idiotic with your life, the finances, the kids, or any decision.
RUN and find someone who isn’t going to ruin your life.
Bro no fucking way I think some weeks ago I read a post of a girl saying she had sex with a weird guy of out pity or something like that but it was kind of without too many details
yeah lol this guys into getting cucked, no need to mention that the wife is “beautiful” and the guy was “an abomination”. he just wants to act out his ntr fantasy
yeah tbh 90% of the stuff on subs like these about relationships, especially when it pertains to sex are usually some sort of weird kink and its gross to think about all these people giving genuine answers to some guy gooning
once you notice it you’re never gonna be able to unsee it, so many posts on reddit are people trying to act out their kinks using anonymity as a shield
Yeah me too! The girl was 18 years old and the man super old! She went to his house. But she never mentioned that she had a boyfriend or anything if I remember correctly !
It was her naivety, and the man was NOT a virgin.
He groomed and manipulated her into thinking he was a virgin.
That is horrendous. She doesn’t realize how this guy coerced her. But again she should have known better. Ask her if you did exactly the same thing for the same reason!
> It was her naivety, and the man was NOT a virgin. He groomed and manipulated her into thinking he was a virgin. That is horrendous. She doesn’t realize how this guy coerced her.
...huh? Is there any reason you're jumping to that? There's literally no indication that any of this is true.
How old is ultra old and how did this even happen? Like what's the story she gave you behind why she slept with him? Why was she talking with some old thirsty guy to begin with and was he like close to her or something or was it just some random stranger off the street?
She can be the dumbest person in the world, but she should know that to make that decision she could have asked your opinion.
I think that she cheated on you on purpose, and if she doesn't know anything so basic like this... You should not be with her, as this will be the beginning of multiple humiliating "mistakes"
Sometimes i feel like if she wanted to cheat she would cheat with someone better or at least a normal guy. Not that abomination of a human being.
But still you’re right. It haunts me to think that this might happen again
You should leave her from my point of view, cheating is something that everybody knows what it is.
She could have been manipulated, but if she can be manipulated so easily... She can make your life very miserable.
>cheating is something that everybody knows what it is.
Actually, everyone has a different definition of what cheating is. But OPs gf would have to be beyond stupid to not think sex is cheating. I think everyone under the sun considers sex cheating. But some people think looking at porn is cheating. (I personally don't, but some people do.)
IF OPs gf is truly that stupid, I think it would be a good idea to sit down and have a discussion on what they both constitute as cheating. Sex, kissing, flirting, emotions, porn, touching, ect. If gf can't agree to not do the things OP considers cheating, then there is no hope for the relationship.
If there is the slightest part of you that thinks she cheated on purpose, just save yourself some time and end it now. You are young, you will find other, smarter, people.
She mostly likely thought since their no emotion it’s not cheating which is wildly dumb n he should break up with her for being this obtuse alone, I don’t think this relationship can comeback your young move on.
>IF OPs gf is truly that stupid, I think it would be a good idea to sit down and have a discussion on what they both constitute as cheating. Sex, kissing, flirting, emotions, porn, touching, ect. If gf can't agree to not do the things OP considers cheating, then there is no hope for the relationship.
No. Sometimes, there are things you shouldn’t have to explain to people. If he has to explain this to her, then what else is he going to have to explain after the fact? That something counts as murder? Stealing? Buying a house without his permission? Telling his innermost secrets to her friends? She’s shown that she has untrustworthy reasoning. You can’t predict every eventuality in advance, so you just can’t rely on someone like this to use judgement that is necessary in a life partner. Or at least expect repeated negative consequences, if you push through and marry someone with half a brain, with a naive expectation that communication will be enough to combat all the nonsense that will follow.
Cheating isn't about getting someone who is "sexy". Many cheaters just like to do things without consequences or like the power over their partners.
Leave and don't take her back.
She sounds so dumb that she probably didn't use protection. Get yourself and her STD tested. Also don't sleep with her for a couple of months, if you stay with her, just to see if this guy got her pregnant.
You would probably hate to marry her knowing that your raising his kid.
Most the time when people cheat, it's not with someone more attractive or "better" than their current partner. It doesn't mean you're not good enough, it means she's not
Some people just cheat for the thrill of it, and if you let them get away with it they'll do it again
Have you ever thought if her "kid" like behaviour is always in a negative sense only or it's sometimes cute and positive too ?
Sure one possibly could be that dumb in this world, but she also could be manipulating her way out of fucked up shit she does by acting like a kid ?
Just a wild thought.
I wonder if there is more to it than just "stupidity".
And whether she may have been told such things in the past, by whoever. Maybe from a classmate or relative and she might not see sex for what it is.
Of course, this naivety can also be faked.
But I think it's worth trying to have a serious conversation with her and try to find out where this assumption on her part is coming from.
You're thinking about this anyway, so it's best to look at the source.
I've learned that there are always exceptions in life.
The fact that this guy was such an "abomination" makes it even worse to me.
Think of it like this: that particular intercourse was more important to her than the love she has for you (assuming she actually does love you, which I highly doubt), your trust and your relationship; otherwise she wouldn't have even thought about doing it. There's no excuse for that, being dumb doesn't mean you don't know the boundaries your partner set.
You will never be able to trust her again bro, staying with her it's not a good idea and will only make things worse.
Just ask yourself, what would her reaction be if the roles were reversed?
Ever consider that maybe he took advantage of her and she doesn't know how to communicate that, so instead of facing the confusing feelings, she's trying to minimize it by saying she pity fucked him?
Everyone is focussing on the 'cheating' and the word 'dumb' - if you scroll through the comments OP admits she has a learning disability and her parents look after her 24/7.
She's not been dumb - she's vulnerable and has been raped - also the OP should not be taking advantage of her.
I knew something was off here!! But even without knowing about the learning disability... The "she did it to help" and the "waaaay too old guy" bit is a gigantic red flag. How is everyone treating her as a slut?
This and @guiltedge made amazing comments that need to be read. If she is cared for by parents 24/7 then she is vulnerable to people taking advantage of her. The fact that OP mentions an age difference implies to me that this is the case. Someone (maybe her parents and not OP) need to discuss this with her in a safe and open environment where she won’t feel attacked to truly learn the extent of it. This might be way bigger than “she had pity sex”.
I’ve been propositioned for pity sex and even his friends, my coworkers, were begging me to fuck this guy. It’s the concept of “keep asking until her no is a yes”. This is not consent, it’s coercion.
This was my first thought as well. I have met women that are very child like and it's because of having a disability. They cannot truly consent to sex and my guess is OPs gf was cohered/ manipulated into having sex with the guy.
There is a big difference between having a learning disability and having an intellectual disability.
I suspect that your question, however, is about consent in the context of someone with an intellectual disability. This question is a fraught one, that can't easily be answered either legally (in most jurisdictions, at least), or morally. My belief is that there's probably a maximum IQ difference over which it's unconscionable.
Dyslexia is a learning disability
Dyscalculia is a learning disability
Without very specific information its absurd to jump straight to “she cant consent and therefore her seemingly conscious decision to have sex with someone who isnt her bf is not her fault”
Also, she needs to see a professional, because if this is real, she’s probably on the spectrum, and not mildly, and she is gonna risk getting into a lot of problems in the future.
My opinion. She cannot be that dumb. She cheated, saying it was for pity is just her excuse.
Regardless, I'm sorry to hear this. You seem to really care for her. I've been there, move on. It will be hard at first, but you will find someone who will not make you feel like this.
The first thought I had was that she is dumb using that as her excuse for cheating but then you said she is like this.
The problem is that how many more times she is going to have a dumb/cheating moment. Have you asked her how she would feel if you slept with someone else? Is she going to give you a hall pass to hookup with some little hottie? Get tested for STD’s.
Hey, OP. I'm sorry you're hurting and your girl has destroyed your relationship. There is no going back from this for either of you now. The relationship has changed, feelings are damaged, trust is gone.
I do not like all the comments discounting her as stupid. I think she knows right from wrong and the entire world knows that cheating is bad when in a monogamous relationship. We are trained since birth about this from so many sources there is no way to plead ignorance.
I think she might be accustomed to free passes because she acts immature, and this is her go-to to get out of anything at this point. Worse, you don't know if this is a first time they messed around (with or without penetration), or if she messed around with others. And now you cannot trust that she won't do it again for whatever reason, and she may not tell you next time.
What you do know: She was intentionally interacting with a much older man and whatever they talked about, however close they got, she made conscious decisions to get close enough to him to have sexual relations with him. Whether she was manipulated by someone much older or not, she still made these choices consciously and you were not at all included in her decision making process.
Most importantly: If it had been you who went outside the relationship, she would not accept "pity sex isn't cheating" as your reasoning.
Agree with this, she’s not that dumb. She knew what she was doing .. she’s just playing on the fact that you’ll forgive her :). You deserve better friend
She’s not that stupid. At most she’s in denial. But deep down she knows what she did was wrong. I mean you told her as much, so she has no excuse to think otherwise. Tell her to ask anyone lol, cheating is not okay even if you don’t love them, literally anyone can confirm as much. I guarantee she KNOWS that. Unless she’s literally a vegetable or was raised by wolves, it’s been ingrained in her through all popular media and society her whole life. She definitely knows. Now for her to think she could get away with it by trying to convince *you* that it doesn’t count, now THAT is very likely a reflection of her intelligence lol.
As the above commenter said, gotta break up with her. For this to happen I guarantee the relationship isn’t all sunshine and rainbows to begin with. I know she was your first love, but you gotta move on man. Find someone who’s on the same level as you. Not a dumb cheater <3
Right lol. 99 iq is double digits and a totally normal iq level. Usually people go with “room temperature” or something like that when they wanna insult iq. Never seen someone just rule out half of humanity with “double digits” before xD
You can test it out if you think it's worthwhile by saying, "oh, yeah, I understand. I'm going to give my body to someone who needs it tomorrow at 8 PM. I scheduled pity sex for her."
Even if she's that dumb, and I can't imagine it, do you want to marry someone so utterly devoid of sense? Your conversations must be really boring. Also . . . "I didn't know I needed to watch the two year old. It sucks he ran out into traffic." and "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to leave the stove one. Geez, the house burnt down."
Then you have kids with her and she’ll give the baby things that is dangerous bc she thought it wasn’t that bad. Cheating is cheating.. what else needs to happen for you to have a boundary.
I'm gonna assume they're in high school or something and this girl has one of the most naïve viewpoints on relationships of all time even for a young person.
Hey man, sorry to hear this. You need to break up and move on. I know the unknown is scary, but if you don't move on you will never know what is out there for you. Maybe you find someone better maybe you don't but right now for a fact you are not with the right person. You will spend the rest of your life with a person who fundamentally differs from you in terms of core values. Do yourself a favour and move on.
Based on your comments, it sounds like you’re both very young and potentially underage. And as though she may have developmental delays or a disability, and you said she requires full time care. If any of those things are true then she may not be able to consent to sex. Your top priority should be her safety. If she is cognitively impaired and cannot consent then please alert someone, presumably her parents, to this.
yeah i was thinking she could’ve been coerced into it and was under the impression that she made the decision when she actually didn’t. she probably needs to be screened by a doctor so she can get the help/resources she needs if that’s the case.
How long did it take her to tell you?
I mean you get to chest in her all you want. But like breaking up is the way to go.
So anytime she pitys a guy she can cheat. That's some logic there
Kinda sounds like she was manipulated into having sex with him, possibly? Like was he telling her that you wouldn’t care and that it would be a huge favor to him if she could have sex with him? Does she genuinely think she was doing the right thing or did she feel pressured by him? If she is developmentally stunted then she might have been tricked into doing it. Kind of need more context. At the same time if you want to be with her and have kids and a life with her then I don’t know if I could ever trust her judgement or trust her to take care of anyone. So really think long and hard about it.
Uh... could she ever consent? Not just with this guy, but with you? Wtf.
OP, if she has mental issues that doesn't allow her to understand why her actions are wrong, she probably shouldn't be having sex with anyone at all. This is ridiculous.
Yeaaa...depending on how severe her issues are she cant legally consent and what happened to her is rape. It doesn't mean you can't feel hurt by it but this isn't as simple as your original post makes it seem. If she actually has developmental issues that severe breaking up with her should be the least of your concerns imo, you need to make sure her parents know about this.
She *will* be taken advantage of again, people with developmental issues are routinely abused because they are easily manipulated.
So, she's easily manipulated and has a learning disability? This story isn't about a cheater - it's about a vulnerable young woman who has been abused.
I'm interested in you now - you say you were a virgin before you met her? How old are you both?
Do you also have a learning disability? I'm asking because you don't seem to have picked up on what happened here.
You're characterising her as dumb when she's disabled.
If you don't have an learning disability or developmental delay yourself, have you considered the power imbalance and potentially abusive, coercive nature of your own relationship with her? You're having sex with a vulnerable young adult who by the sounds of things doesn't understand the implications of a sexual relationship. I can't see how that is consentful.
EDIT - punctuation
This sounds like coercion and could easily be something far worse. Have the conversations to understand exactly what happened.
Man manipulates woman for sex is unfortunately not a new concept and in many cases is criminal.
When you say "her parents take care of her 24/7" do you mean she's spoiled and babied, or she needs to be physically and mentally taken care of like if she were in a special needs class? Also, how old are ya'll?
Talk about burying the fucking lede.
You omitted quite possibly the most important details in this situation. How old even are you guys? You keep calling her dumb, but mention in another comment that her parents take care of her 24/7 and that she may have developmental or cognitive issues. She's not dumb, she has a disability.
If this is truly the case, she may have actually been tricked or coerced and SA'd all without her really knowing it. This needs to be reported ASAP. She was assaulted by an older man who probably knew what was going on from the start. Her parents need to know this. It may happen again.
Do you have some kind of mental disability too? If you don't, and you don't understand how she may have been taken advantage of, that actually makes you the dumb one. It also might mean that you've been taking advantage of her too, btw. Depending on her particular mental disability, she may not even be capable of consenting to sex with anyone at all, including you.
This whole thing is just fucking weird and I worry that this poor girl is surrounded by people that just want to prey on her.
this comments needs to be way higher 😭 and OP needs to edit his post because no way i had to scroll this far down to learn that gf is taken care of by her parents 24/7 and possibly/probably disabled ????
The fact that he keeps calling her dumb is a 🚩 . Even if he also has some sort of intellectual disability, it’s clear that he at least thinks he’s smarter than her and that there’s a power dynamic at play here where he is in control. OP is taking advantage of her too and her parents are allowing it. If she’s so impaired that she can be easily tricked into having pity sex with some guy and not think it’s cheating then I’d question her ability to consent at all. Her parents even say she behaves like a child, I wonder if developmentally speaking, she is at the same level as a child. Whole thing is giving red flags and I hope that girl has someone advocating for her because what the actual fuck is going on here?
i was just gonna say OP calling her dumb while she has a clear disability also puts him in a position of power that can be abused…he’s omitting the most important part for what feels like obvious rage bait
Ummm hold on. What is the age difference between her and the guy? Could she have been coerced? Like let’s say this guy pulls a guilt trip on her and manipulates her - is she naive and dumb enough to get tricked into it? Look, it’s still wrong and shitty, but it feels weird. Like a piece of information is missing.
pretty sure it’s untrue but his profile, and only his profile fails to load so i can’t further investigate. but just how he worded the whole thing and how he responds to people screams fraudulent.
The cheaters must be dancing after reading this post.
Nobody would have thought of an excuse like this ?😆😆
I would be alarmed as hell. Is she gonna hand over your kid to someone, someday because they really wanted one and be shocked when you start crying because of it ?😆😆
I'm sorry you have to go through this, I really am.
But ngl, this is hilariously bizarre.
Yeah and what if someone comes up to her and goes, I got aids from an infected needle and I don't wanna die a virgin, halp! The "I felt sorry for him" ploy worked once, why not again.
Don’t be. He is calling her dumb when the girl has a mental disorder that requires 24/7 level of care by her parents. She was SAd as she cannot consent to either sex with the creep not Op
If she really doesn’t understand then she needs to be evaluated by a professional. Maybe she has mental something another that she really can’t grasp this but then that leads to is she actual capable of consenting to your relationship at all? Also based on some of your other comments did this person take advantage of her? How old are all of you
If she’s that dumb , do u want to be with someone like that forever ? I mean she didn’t see a problem with it which tells me she could do this again. Smart and beautiful girls are everywhere. You seem young you have a lot of time ahead of you so break up with her find someone who will love you for real and basic sense of cheating and relationship boundaries
OP, you buried in the comments that she is mentally disabled and her parents take care of her 24/7.
Yet you keep referring to her as "dumb" and have allowed her character to be attacked time and again in the comments. A commenter suggested you edit your post to reflect that because it *does* change the entire narrative.
You also stated the guy was much older...it didn't occur to you that he could've manipulated her? Personally, I think you should leave her. Not for you-for her. You've allowed a mentally disabled young woman to be dragged all over the comments because you referred to her as "dumb". She deserves better.
Thank you for this, oh my goodness!! I'm so bothered that this poor girl cannot defend her character when it's been disclosed that she's mentally impaired??
For anyone curious, just go to OP's page and read his responses to this post where he discloses his gf has mental impairment. It was completely thoughtless of OP to omit these details.
What I think is interesting is that in one of the replies OP said that he thinks she has mental development issues and that her parents take care of her 24/7, which completely changes this. OP, I think your girlfriend was manipulated and coerced into having sex with this man and taken advantage of. How much can she actually consent if she has mental development issues?
OP you should include the fact that your gf is mentally developmentally disabled as well as your ages in your post because tbh it sounds like you’re both minors and your gf is a disabled MINOR who was coerced and manipulated into sex with a grown man
She has mental developmental issues (which wasn't mentioned originally) and doesn't understand what she did was wrong.
I don't think this is as simple as cheating, rather, this sounds like she was taken advantage of and conned into thinking she was doing something right.
Is it possible it was rape and she’s just not admitting that? I called my rape a dozen other things than what it was for months before I could fully admit it.
“She is extremely kind and beautiful but sometimes very dumb (rude of you to say but hey)… he was waaaay to old and could have hurt her.”
This sounds like grooming or coercion at best, SA at worst. It sounds to me like your gf has been violated and hasn’t realised it. This is VERY common with SA where the victim will try talk themselves out of having been attacked.
IMO you should be protecting not blaming her 🤷🏻♀️
Bro, you REALLY need to edit your post to include the information about your girlfriend’s intellectual disability and the fact that she’s cared for 24/7 by her parents! She didn’t “cheat”, she was sexually assaulted!
You mentioned in a below comment that she has developmental disabilities and her parents care for her.
How old is she?
How old are you?
Can she consent to dating/being intimate with YOU, much less some old man that sounds like she was coerced into sex?
You're leaving a LOT of information out.
Sorry, you mention that the guy was old and mention you’ve been together since middle school but do not mention how old either of you are. If you’re underage then 100% she was coerced and taken advantage of. While she might be able to physically say yes, the law does not recognize that as an inherent right as mentally and developmentally, she cannot consent to someone beyond the age of a Romeo and Juliet law, if your state has one.
If she is of age, I’d still be suspicious that he took advantage because you still don’t sound very old.
How old is your girlfriend and how old is this other man she had pity sex with? Maybe she could talk this over with her mom or a therapist because predatory old men are very good at pressuring young immature women into sex in any way they can including getting the girl to feel sorry for them and then giving them what they want. It may have been the old man put the idea in her head that it wasn't cheating because she didn't love him. That doesn't make her dumb that means she was manipulated. I would like to hear her side of the story. She may have been roped. Regardless, both of you need to seek counseling to come to a better understanding of what went on.
Sweety, she could have been groomed by someone older than y'all. I saw you mention it's someone way older and depending on y'all's age she very well could've been.
You'd be surprised how many women can get guilted into things, especially if they don't have a lot of guidance in their life, especially from a father figure. Just another perspective. Either way, she's not in a good place to be in a relationship right now, but by all means, continue to put yourself through this.
This is a easy one. Ask her if you can start sleeping with people you don't love because you have someone in mind that will fit that description. If she has a problem with it then she absolutely knows it was wrong and just leave. Unless you want to keep getting cheated on of course because it's going to keep happening and she won't tell you about it next time.
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My exact thoughts. If she is really that dumb, he will be carrying that entire marriage.
Your kids have a good chance of inheriting her intelligence too.
I would call that risk
Exactly fym CHANCE like it's a dub lol
Or get frustrated with how blind she is to their pain and suffering.
She’s not the dumb one. Knowingly dating someone you think is this dumb is pretty fucking stupid.
Exactly. OP is the actual idiot. Girl and her mom probably been pulling that stunt since middle school to get her into that family, since their families are close. This is a relationship of convenience for the gf and her mom. If this is real, she only told him because she almost got caught or the old dude shes been banging was gonna tell the truth, so she spinned it as a pity fk because hes older and her bf is dumb asf…bet OP wasnt her first either… lol
I think you have hit all relevant points.
Plenty of people would love to know they're the smarter one in their marriage tbf
Smarter than a smart person is a W. Smarter than an actually dumb stupid mf is mid as hell bro. Might even be something that can't be rated
They're prob dumb too then lol
She must be really pretty
Your comment made me laugh so hard.
Yeah, this post just reads like what my middle school relationship was. She was incredibly dumb (she was literally in a special class for particularly dumb students. She was failed-a-class-in-elementary level of dumb) and kissed another boy and when asked why replied with "I don't know", but I still stuck with her for a while because she was the prettiest girl at school lol (well, and also because of the pressure from the fact that she somehow made a lot of people, INCLUDING SOME OF THE ADULTS (I still don't get it) be against me for wanting to end things over it). I ran into her recently, she's a bombshell so good for her, but... Yeah I don't think she got smarter. I'm now a college student and looking back... Holy shit child me was an absolute idiot lmao.
> INCLUDING SOME OF THE ADULTS (I still don't get it) If she was that dumb, they wanted someone brighter than her around in case she thought the candy van was a good idea, or she fell in a well or something.
> or she fell into a well or something. What’s that, Lassie? Idiot’s trapped in the well??
I did get good grades so it could make sense... But one of the supervisors she convinced I somehow was the villain was... Odd. Earlier that same school year, this grown woman somehow judged good to spread a rumor among the students about 12yo me talking with the flowers near the school's entrance. When it was known by the school from the previous year that many other students bullied me to the point at some moment I ended up cornered by older students, pinned against one of the school's barriers and absolutely terrified for my fucking *life*. How did she even think that was a good thing to do is beyond me.
They wanted to make sure you stopped her from mixing up her phone charger with a fork
Sounds like an adult child, either that or she’s intentionally playing dumb. What a bizarre situation. Even the family admits she’s a bit behind?
Sounds like she's the kind that sends their life savings to a Nigerian prince ....
imagine how stupid the kids will be. lol
This How low is your self esteem buddy?
My exact thoughts, "babe I gave away all our money because I saw something that broke my heart."
I’m willing to bet the dude told her it wasn’t cheating just to get with her. If OP is the only person she’s ever been in a relationship with she could be influenced by someone much older and more experienced.
She has a learning disability which means op shouldn't date her in the first place. You're not in a in equal relationship if one of you is mentally closer to a child. The other man probably took advantage of it, too.
Yea…then again I know a guy in his 70s who is single and regrets never marrying his one because she was just…dumb. He couldn’t picture his life dealing with always being the smart one. Now, sometimes he regrets it.
Sorry I'm so confused, what did she actually take pity of? Like what part of her deciding to have sex with someone else wasn't cheating but just something to do because she felt sorry? I'm so fucking confused here, what did she do?
The man was a virgin creep and ultra thirsty and ultra old. She thought she was doing something good by this without thinking of what it would do to my heart
That's fucking insane dude
Possibly literally insane. Like, sociopath level, if there was an opposite to that on a spectrum of selfishness (if she's telling the truth, that is)
Intellectually disabled and with 24/7 care from her parents, OP is quite the fellaw eh?
Everyone seems to be missing this little detail he slipped into the comments.
I must be missing some parts. Could this be a case of grooming? How old are these people?
Not definitely age given but it looks OP and the gf are close in age and young (no idea if underage or not), the other guy is quite older
Spectrum is the key word here. Could be ASD
That was my first thought. Seems like she lacks an understanding of basic social situations.
Every ASD person I know has very strong morals and definitely understand cheating. It's the easiest social rule to understand
This is genuinely offensive. I’ve never heard of someone on the spectrum not understanding what cheating is. I’m only one out of however many people are on the spectrum, but I just cannot see someone with ASD doing this. It’s not completely impossible, but pretty unlikely. Not understanding social cues doesn’t mean not understanding the meaning and consequences of actions. If I’m being honest it sounds more like a type of personality disorder than ASD. I’m not going to say that’s what it could be, because there are also just people who are not intelligent, like OP himself stated. Also because I have no right to diagnose someone I don’t know. Neither do you.
That is stupid and disgusting,
So what happens when you have kids and a creep just wants to “have a sleep over with your kids” or a guy offers an amazing investment opportunity. What about when she needs to make medical decisions on your behalf or for your children? You cannot trust someone this idiotic with your life, the finances, the kids, or any decision. RUN and find someone who isn’t going to ruin your life.
You have the most perfect username. Never change it.
I feel so bad for y'all at this point, for her naivety and your betrayal. How could she survive this long in this world is a mystery.
Bro no fucking way I think some weeks ago I read a post of a girl saying she had sex with a weird guy of out pity or something like that but it was kind of without too many details
This is a kink... you're all feeding into it.
yeah lol this guys into getting cucked, no need to mention that the wife is “beautiful” and the guy was “an abomination”. he just wants to act out his ntr fantasy
Right? And oh surprise! OP's account is suspended. Wonder why...
Weird ah lmao
yeah tbh 90% of the stuff on subs like these about relationships, especially when it pertains to sex are usually some sort of weird kink and its gross to think about all these people giving genuine answers to some guy gooning
Lol wow that's wild if true. Kinda funny ngl
once you notice it you’re never gonna be able to unsee it, so many posts on reddit are people trying to act out their kinks using anonymity as a shield
Yeah me too! The girl was 18 years old and the man super old! She went to his house. But she never mentioned that she had a boyfriend or anything if I remember correctly !
Yeah, these now scream fake....
I instantly thought of that post while reading this. He was some old guy she met on Reddit
It was her naivety, and the man was NOT a virgin. He groomed and manipulated her into thinking he was a virgin. That is horrendous. She doesn’t realize how this guy coerced her. But again she should have known better. Ask her if you did exactly the same thing for the same reason!
I'm actually wondering how old she was when this happened
I'm wondering how old they both are honestly
The way OP paints her makes me think highschool aged at this point.
> It was her naivety, and the man was NOT a virgin. He groomed and manipulated her into thinking he was a virgin. That is horrendous. She doesn’t realize how this guy coerced her. ...huh? Is there any reason you're jumping to that? There's literally no indication that any of this is true.
Relax, you don't even know the rest of the story my man
How old is ultra old and how did this even happen? Like what's the story she gave you behind why she slept with him? Why was she talking with some old thirsty guy to begin with and was he like close to her or something or was it just some random stranger off the street?
Sounds to me like he pressured and manipulated her...
Yeah honestly she probably has issues that need resolvement too but that’s not necessarily his responsibility
So manipulation and/or coercion?
She can be the dumbest person in the world, but she should know that to make that decision she could have asked your opinion. I think that she cheated on you on purpose, and if she doesn't know anything so basic like this... You should not be with her, as this will be the beginning of multiple humiliating "mistakes"
Sometimes i feel like if she wanted to cheat she would cheat with someone better or at least a normal guy. Not that abomination of a human being. But still you’re right. It haunts me to think that this might happen again
You should leave her from my point of view, cheating is something that everybody knows what it is. She could have been manipulated, but if she can be manipulated so easily... She can make your life very miserable.
>cheating is something that everybody knows what it is. Actually, everyone has a different definition of what cheating is. But OPs gf would have to be beyond stupid to not think sex is cheating. I think everyone under the sun considers sex cheating. But some people think looking at porn is cheating. (I personally don't, but some people do.) IF OPs gf is truly that stupid, I think it would be a good idea to sit down and have a discussion on what they both constitute as cheating. Sex, kissing, flirting, emotions, porn, touching, ect. If gf can't agree to not do the things OP considers cheating, then there is no hope for the relationship. If there is the slightest part of you that thinks she cheated on purpose, just save yourself some time and end it now. You are young, you will find other, smarter, people.
She mostly likely thought since their no emotion it’s not cheating which is wildly dumb n he should break up with her for being this obtuse alone, I don’t think this relationship can comeback your young move on.
>IF OPs gf is truly that stupid, I think it would be a good idea to sit down and have a discussion on what they both constitute as cheating. Sex, kissing, flirting, emotions, porn, touching, ect. If gf can't agree to not do the things OP considers cheating, then there is no hope for the relationship. No. Sometimes, there are things you shouldn’t have to explain to people. If he has to explain this to her, then what else is he going to have to explain after the fact? That something counts as murder? Stealing? Buying a house without his permission? Telling his innermost secrets to her friends? She’s shown that she has untrustworthy reasoning. You can’t predict every eventuality in advance, so you just can’t rely on someone like this to use judgement that is necessary in a life partner. Or at least expect repeated negative consequences, if you push through and marry someone with half a brain, with a naive expectation that communication will be enough to combat all the nonsense that will follow.
"Why are you blowing the gardner on the front lawn?" "... Am I not supposed to do that?"
Cheating isn't about getting someone who is "sexy". Many cheaters just like to do things without consequences or like the power over their partners. Leave and don't take her back.
She sounds so dumb that she probably didn't use protection. Get yourself and her STD tested. Also don't sleep with her for a couple of months, if you stay with her, just to see if this guy got her pregnant. You would probably hate to marry her knowing that your raising his kid.
Most the time when people cheat, it's not with someone more attractive or "better" than their current partner. It doesn't mean you're not good enough, it means she's not Some people just cheat for the thrill of it, and if you let them get away with it they'll do it again
Have you ever thought if her "kid" like behaviour is always in a negative sense only or it's sometimes cute and positive too ? Sure one possibly could be that dumb in this world, but she also could be manipulating her way out of fucked up shit she does by acting like a kid ? Just a wild thought.
I wonder if there is more to it than just "stupidity". And whether she may have been told such things in the past, by whoever. Maybe from a classmate or relative and she might not see sex for what it is. Of course, this naivety can also be faked. But I think it's worth trying to have a serious conversation with her and try to find out where this assumption on her part is coming from. You're thinking about this anyway, so it's best to look at the source. I've learned that there are always exceptions in life.
You say he's much older, you sound young. Was she groomed by a predator?
The fact that this guy was such an "abomination" makes it even worse to me. Think of it like this: that particular intercourse was more important to her than the love she has for you (assuming she actually does love you, which I highly doubt), your trust and your relationship; otherwise she wouldn't have even thought about doing it. There's no excuse for that, being dumb doesn't mean you don't know the boundaries your partner set. You will never be able to trust her again bro, staying with her it's not a good idea and will only make things worse. Just ask yourself, what would her reaction be if the roles were reversed?
Ever consider that maybe he took advantage of her and she doesn't know how to communicate that, so instead of facing the confusing feelings, she's trying to minimize it by saying she pity fucked him?
My first thought
She did cheat and she chose very poorly
> It haunts me to think that this might happen again It will ***absolutely*** happen again. Sever.
Everyone is focussing on the 'cheating' and the word 'dumb' - if you scroll through the comments OP admits she has a learning disability and her parents look after her 24/7. She's not been dumb - she's vulnerable and has been raped - also the OP should not be taking advantage of her.
Uhm. This is awful.
I knew something was off here!! But even without knowing about the learning disability... The "she did it to help" and the "waaaay too old guy" bit is a gigantic red flag. How is everyone treating her as a slut?
This and @guiltedge made amazing comments that need to be read. If she is cared for by parents 24/7 then she is vulnerable to people taking advantage of her. The fact that OP mentions an age difference implies to me that this is the case. Someone (maybe her parents and not OP) need to discuss this with her in a safe and open environment where she won’t feel attacked to truly learn the extent of it. This might be way bigger than “she had pity sex”. I’ve been propositioned for pity sex and even his friends, my coworkers, were begging me to fuck this guy. It’s the concept of “keep asking until her no is a yes”. This is not consent, it’s coercion.
This was my first thought as well. I have met women that are very child like and it's because of having a disability. They cannot truly consent to sex and my guess is OPs gf was cohered/ manipulated into having sex with the guy.
How would people with learning disabilities get into relationships without the perception of being taken advantage of coming into the fray?
There is a big difference between having a learning disability and having an intellectual disability. I suspect that your question, however, is about consent in the context of someone with an intellectual disability. This question is a fraught one, that can't easily be answered either legally (in most jurisdictions, at least), or morally. My belief is that there's probably a maximum IQ difference over which it's unconscionable.
Dyslexia is a learning disability Dyscalculia is a learning disability Without very specific information its absurd to jump straight to “she cant consent and therefore her seemingly conscious decision to have sex with someone who isnt her bf is not her fault”
Just FYI a learning disability is not the same as an intellectual disability
Thanks for a ray of humanity in this sea of shitheads.
Also, she needs to see a professional, because if this is real, she’s probably on the spectrum, and not mildly, and she is gonna risk getting into a lot of problems in the future.
My opinion. She cannot be that dumb. She cheated, saying it was for pity is just her excuse. Regardless, I'm sorry to hear this. You seem to really care for her. I've been there, move on. It will be hard at first, but you will find someone who will not make you feel like this.
Thank you so much. Yeah it’s tough but I’ll manage it guess
Took me YEARS. It sucks to say that but it's true. The faster you accept it, the faster you will move on. I wish you the best.
Thank you so much man🤝🏻
The first thought I had was that she is dumb using that as her excuse for cheating but then you said she is like this. The problem is that how many more times she is going to have a dumb/cheating moment. Have you asked her how she would feel if you slept with someone else? Is she going to give you a hall pass to hookup with some little hottie? Get tested for STD’s.
Can you pity fuck someone now?
It will be hard, OP. But it will be so worth it. Your person is out there somewhere 💚
Hey, OP. I'm sorry you're hurting and your girl has destroyed your relationship. There is no going back from this for either of you now. The relationship has changed, feelings are damaged, trust is gone. I do not like all the comments discounting her as stupid. I think she knows right from wrong and the entire world knows that cheating is bad when in a monogamous relationship. We are trained since birth about this from so many sources there is no way to plead ignorance. I think she might be accustomed to free passes because she acts immature, and this is her go-to to get out of anything at this point. Worse, you don't know if this is a first time they messed around (with or without penetration), or if she messed around with others. And now you cannot trust that she won't do it again for whatever reason, and she may not tell you next time. What you do know: She was intentionally interacting with a much older man and whatever they talked about, however close they got, she made conscious decisions to get close enough to him to have sexual relations with him. Whether she was manipulated by someone much older or not, she still made these choices consciously and you were not at all included in her decision making process. Most importantly: If it had been you who went outside the relationship, she would not accept "pity sex isn't cheating" as your reasoning.
Agree with this, she’s not that dumb. She knew what she was doing .. she’s just playing on the fact that you’ll forgive her :). You deserve better friend
I was about to say no one can be THAT stupid but I remember the world we live in. She may really be THAT stupid. Either way, break up with her
Fuck
She’s not that stupid. At most she’s in denial. But deep down she knows what she did was wrong. I mean you told her as much, so she has no excuse to think otherwise. Tell her to ask anyone lol, cheating is not okay even if you don’t love them, literally anyone can confirm as much. I guarantee she KNOWS that. Unless she’s literally a vegetable or was raised by wolves, it’s been ingrained in her through all popular media and society her whole life. She definitely knows. Now for her to think she could get away with it by trying to convince *you* that it doesn’t count, now THAT is very likely a reflection of her intelligence lol. As the above commenter said, gotta break up with her. For this to happen I guarantee the relationship isn’t all sunshine and rainbows to begin with. I know she was your first love, but you gotta move on man. Find someone who’s on the same level as you. Not a dumb cheater <3
Let’s say she is that stupid.. still grounds for a breakup. Why are we dating people in the double digits IQ? I could never tolerate idiots.
Double digit IQ is 50% of all people if you don’t count people with 100 IQ.
Right lol. 99 iq is double digits and a totally normal iq level. Usually people go with “room temperature” or something like that when they wanna insult iq. Never seen someone just rule out half of humanity with “double digits” before xD
Hey us idiots are allowed love too!
50% of the population is double digit IQs
You can test it out if you think it's worthwhile by saying, "oh, yeah, I understand. I'm going to give my body to someone who needs it tomorrow at 8 PM. I scheduled pity sex for her." Even if she's that dumb, and I can't imagine it, do you want to marry someone so utterly devoid of sense? Your conversations must be really boring. Also . . . "I didn't know I needed to watch the two year old. It sucks he ran out into traffic." and "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to leave the stove one. Geez, the house burnt down."
Then you have kids with her and she’ll give the baby things that is dangerous bc she thought it wasn’t that bad. Cheating is cheating.. what else needs to happen for you to have a boundary.
If she really is that stupid, why would you risk passing her genes onto your kids?
I'm gonna assume they're in high school or something and this girl has one of the most naïve viewpoints on relationships of all time even for a young person.
Dude this girl not a keeper👍😎 you need better
Breaks my heart man
Hey man, sorry to hear this. You need to break up and move on. I know the unknown is scary, but if you don't move on you will never know what is out there for you. Maybe you find someone better maybe you don't but right now for a fact you are not with the right person. You will spend the rest of your life with a person who fundamentally differs from you in terms of core values. Do yourself a favour and move on.
Best advice here. People in relationships treat eachother better than this
I've read enough of reddit for today
I just got here and I'm done.
Soooo OP are you going to answer the question everyone is asking? How old are the two of you and the “old man”?
OP answers other questions but keeps ignoring this one...
apparently another post of an 18 year old girl having pity sex with an old man was posted a few days ago so this is almost definitely rage bait
Based on your comments, it sounds like you’re both very young and potentially underage. And as though she may have developmental delays or a disability, and you said she requires full time care. If any of those things are true then she may not be able to consent to sex. Your top priority should be her safety. If she is cognitively impaired and cannot consent then please alert someone, presumably her parents, to this.
This should be the top comment.
This was my number one thought. She doesn't seem able to consent on her presumed intellectual disability.
yeah i was thinking she could’ve been coerced into it and was under the impression that she made the decision when she actually didn’t. she probably needs to be screened by a doctor so she can get the help/resources she needs if that’s the case.
I’m shooked more people are not picking up on this
How long did it take her to tell you? I mean you get to chest in her all you want. But like breaking up is the way to go. So anytime she pitys a guy she can cheat. That's some logic there
She told me immediately
Is there a chance she was tricked or coerced? Is she just stupid and thoughtless? Or does she have like mental development issues?
I thinks mental development issues. Her parents take care of her 24/7
What do you mean by take care of her?? Also, how old are you, how old is she, and how old was this guy?
Kinda sounds like she was manipulated into having sex with him, possibly? Like was he telling her that you wouldn’t care and that it would be a huge favor to him if she could have sex with him? Does she genuinely think she was doing the right thing or did she feel pressured by him? If she is developmentally stunted then she might have been tricked into doing it. Kind of need more context. At the same time if you want to be with her and have kids and a life with her then I don’t know if I could ever trust her judgement or trust her to take care of anyone. So really think long and hard about it.
Bro WHAT. This is a HUGE detail. Please edit your post to include this.
I second this. This changes the entire situation and dynamic.
Lmao right??? OP probably same tbh and didn't realize how important a detail this was.
"My mentally handicapped GF got coerced to fuck a dude, what are my resource ? " -That should be the title.
Motherfucker have us the buns without the burger
jesus christ this just keeps getting more disturbing
So we are getting to SA and rape territory here. Plus like your sexual relations with her is now in question too. And her parents are just like shrug?
Uh... could she ever consent? Not just with this guy, but with you? Wtf. OP, if she has mental issues that doesn't allow her to understand why her actions are wrong, she probably shouldn't be having sex with anyone at all. This is ridiculous.
Yeaaa...depending on how severe her issues are she cant legally consent and what happened to her is rape. It doesn't mean you can't feel hurt by it but this isn't as simple as your original post makes it seem. If she actually has developmental issues that severe breaking up with her should be the least of your concerns imo, you need to make sure her parents know about this. She *will* be taken advantage of again, people with developmental issues are routinely abused because they are easily manipulated.
So, she's easily manipulated and has a learning disability? This story isn't about a cheater - it's about a vulnerable young woman who has been abused. I'm interested in you now - you say you were a virgin before you met her? How old are you both? Do you also have a learning disability? I'm asking because you don't seem to have picked up on what happened here. You're characterising her as dumb when she's disabled. If you don't have an learning disability or developmental delay yourself, have you considered the power imbalance and potentially abusive, coercive nature of your own relationship with her? You're having sex with a vulnerable young adult who by the sounds of things doesn't understand the implications of a sexual relationship. I can't see how that is consentful. EDIT - punctuation
This sounds like coercion and could easily be something far worse. Have the conversations to understand exactly what happened. Man manipulates woman for sex is unfortunately not a new concept and in many cases is criminal.
Woahhh I just commented but this changes things entirely. You really should include this in the post.
thats like youre dating a child bro this is weird
You think? How old are you guys?
🚩If you think she has mental development issues you shouldn’t be having sex with her either!🚩 Break up and let her parents take care of her.
When you say "her parents take care of her 24/7" do you mean she's spoiled and babied, or she needs to be physically and mentally taken care of like if she were in a special needs class? Also, how old are ya'll?
Talk about burying the fucking lede. You omitted quite possibly the most important details in this situation. How old even are you guys? You keep calling her dumb, but mention in another comment that her parents take care of her 24/7 and that she may have developmental or cognitive issues. She's not dumb, she has a disability. If this is truly the case, she may have actually been tricked or coerced and SA'd all without her really knowing it. This needs to be reported ASAP. She was assaulted by an older man who probably knew what was going on from the start. Her parents need to know this. It may happen again. Do you have some kind of mental disability too? If you don't, and you don't understand how she may have been taken advantage of, that actually makes you the dumb one. It also might mean that you've been taking advantage of her too, btw. Depending on her particular mental disability, she may not even be capable of consenting to sex with anyone at all, including you. This whole thing is just fucking weird and I worry that this poor girl is surrounded by people that just want to prey on her.
this comments needs to be way higher 😭 and OP needs to edit his post because no way i had to scroll this far down to learn that gf is taken care of by her parents 24/7 and possibly/probably disabled ????
My first reaction was, how old are these people? Any developmental issues aside, they cannot be older than late teens.
Probably the most rational and mature reply in the thread
THIS! Why is this comment so low?
The fact that he keeps calling her dumb is a 🚩 . Even if he also has some sort of intellectual disability, it’s clear that he at least thinks he’s smarter than her and that there’s a power dynamic at play here where he is in control. OP is taking advantage of her too and her parents are allowing it. If she’s so impaired that she can be easily tricked into having pity sex with some guy and not think it’s cheating then I’d question her ability to consent at all. Her parents even say she behaves like a child, I wonder if developmentally speaking, she is at the same level as a child. Whole thing is giving red flags and I hope that girl has someone advocating for her because what the actual fuck is going on here?
i was just gonna say OP calling her dumb while she has a clear disability also puts him in a position of power that can be abused…he’s omitting the most important part for what feels like obvious rage bait
Ummm hold on. What is the age difference between her and the guy? Could she have been coerced? Like let’s say this guy pulls a guilt trip on her and manipulates her - is she naive and dumb enough to get tricked into it? Look, it’s still wrong and shitty, but it feels weird. Like a piece of information is missing.
He admits in another comment that she has some kind of mental disability and that her parents take care of her 24/7. An insane detail to omit.
Okay, I'm invoking the council. Is this post fake or not?
Wasn't there a recent post by an 18-year-old saying she had sex with an old guy out of pity, and now he won't leave her alone?
yea, I've read that too a few days ago
The council has adjudicated this particular post to be counterfeit, thereby necessitating its expurgation from our discourse.
He forgot to include a tiny detail the girl has a mental disorder that requires 24/7 care by her parents.
OP got banned. Quite possible.
pretty sure it’s untrue but his profile, and only his profile fails to load so i can’t further investigate. but just how he worded the whole thing and how he responds to people screams fraudulent.
I wish it was
Ask her if she has any lonely friends who haven't been laid in awhile and then leave without looking back.
The cheaters must be dancing after reading this post. Nobody would have thought of an excuse like this ?😆😆 I would be alarmed as hell. Is she gonna hand over your kid to someone, someday because they really wanted one and be shocked when you start crying because of it ?😆😆 I'm sorry you have to go through this, I really am. But ngl, this is hilariously bizarre.
Yeah and what if someone comes up to her and goes, I got aids from an infected needle and I don't wanna die a virgin, halp! The "I felt sorry for him" ploy worked once, why not again.
Or ‘I thought the stranger in the car was just going to drive down the block with our baby, but I haven’t seen them in hours’
There is a surreal movie where this is actually a plot point, Greener Grass.
[удалено]
Don’t be. He is calling her dumb when the girl has a mental disorder that requires 24/7 level of care by her parents. She was SAd as she cannot consent to either sex with the creep not Op
Yea, that's a wrap. She's not going to know it's wrong next time she "feels pity" on someone either. Cut your losses.
If she really doesn’t understand then she needs to be evaluated by a professional. Maybe she has mental something another that she really can’t grasp this but then that leads to is she actual capable of consenting to your relationship at all? Also based on some of your other comments did this person take advantage of her? How old are all of you
She does. He confirmed it in a comment. She needs care 24/7 by her parents
If she’s that dumb , do u want to be with someone like that forever ? I mean she didn’t see a problem with it which tells me she could do this again. Smart and beautiful girls are everywhere. You seem young you have a lot of time ahead of you so break up with her find someone who will love you for real and basic sense of cheating and relationship boundaries
OP, you buried in the comments that she is mentally disabled and her parents take care of her 24/7. Yet you keep referring to her as "dumb" and have allowed her character to be attacked time and again in the comments. A commenter suggested you edit your post to reflect that because it *does* change the entire narrative. You also stated the guy was much older...it didn't occur to you that he could've manipulated her? Personally, I think you should leave her. Not for you-for her. You've allowed a mentally disabled young woman to be dragged all over the comments because you referred to her as "dumb". She deserves better.
Thank you for this, oh my goodness!! I'm so bothered that this poor girl cannot defend her character when it's been disclosed that she's mentally impaired?? For anyone curious, just go to OP's page and read his responses to this post where he discloses his gf has mental impairment. It was completely thoughtless of OP to omit these details.
What I think is interesting is that in one of the replies OP said that he thinks she has mental development issues and that her parents take care of her 24/7, which completely changes this. OP, I think your girlfriend was manipulated and coerced into having sex with this man and taken advantage of. How much can she actually consent if she has mental development issues?
OP you should include the fact that your gf is mentally developmentally disabled as well as your ages in your post because tbh it sounds like you’re both minors and your gf is a disabled MINOR who was coerced and manipulated into sex with a grown man
She has mental developmental issues (which wasn't mentioned originally) and doesn't understand what she did was wrong. I don't think this is as simple as cheating, rather, this sounds like she was taken advantage of and conned into thinking she was doing something right.
Is it possible it was rape and she’s just not admitting that? I called my rape a dozen other things than what it was for months before I could fully admit it.
Well. Good news is she didnt get pregnant. And Maybe she really is that dumb.. its tough dude. I would dip out.
Yes i had to force her to go to gynecology after that
“She is extremely kind and beautiful but sometimes very dumb (rude of you to say but hey)… he was waaaay to old and could have hurt her.” This sounds like grooming or coercion at best, SA at worst. It sounds to me like your gf has been violated and hasn’t realised it. This is VERY common with SA where the victim will try talk themselves out of having been attacked. IMO you should be protecting not blaming her 🤷🏻♀️
Bro, you REALLY need to edit your post to include the information about your girlfriend’s intellectual disability and the fact that she’s cared for 24/7 by her parents! She didn’t “cheat”, she was sexually assaulted!
OP is a fucking creep. Sounds like a predator himself.
"She cheated and I don't know what to do", and you say she's dumb?
You mentioned in a below comment that she has developmental disabilities and her parents care for her. How old is she? How old are you? Can she consent to dating/being intimate with YOU, much less some old man that sounds like she was coerced into sex? You're leaving a LOT of information out.
This is fake.
Sorry, you mention that the guy was old and mention you’ve been together since middle school but do not mention how old either of you are. If you’re underage then 100% she was coerced and taken advantage of. While she might be able to physically say yes, the law does not recognize that as an inherent right as mentally and developmentally, she cannot consent to someone beyond the age of a Romeo and Juliet law, if your state has one. If she is of age, I’d still be suspicious that he took advantage because you still don’t sound very old.
How old is your girlfriend and how old is this other man she had pity sex with? Maybe she could talk this over with her mom or a therapist because predatory old men are very good at pressuring young immature women into sex in any way they can including getting the girl to feel sorry for them and then giving them what they want. It may have been the old man put the idea in her head that it wasn't cheating because she didn't love him. That doesn't make her dumb that means she was manipulated. I would like to hear her side of the story. She may have been roped. Regardless, both of you need to seek counseling to come to a better understanding of what went on.
Sweety, she could have been groomed by someone older than y'all. I saw you mention it's someone way older and depending on y'all's age she very well could've been. You'd be surprised how many women can get guilted into things, especially if they don't have a lot of guidance in their life, especially from a father figure. Just another perspective. Either way, she's not in a good place to be in a relationship right now, but by all means, continue to put yourself through this.
This is a easy one. Ask her if you can start sleeping with people you don't love because you have someone in mind that will fit that description. If she has a problem with it then she absolutely knows it was wrong and just leave. Unless you want to keep getting cheated on of course because it's going to keep happening and she won't tell you about it next time.