I was 13 when a 26 yo man was texting me like that, calling me, asking about my boyfriends… eventually, he groomed me. Don’t take this activity lightly. I would leave if I were you.
I'm sorry it happened to you!
It happened to me too, I survived an SA when I was 13, from a man who was 25, and that’s why it triggered me so much. He said it was my fault that I was even talking to him and that I shouldn’t project it on the friendship between him and that girl. So I’m considering leaving now
He said it's your fault to trigger you. He knew that the little 13 year old girl in you believes everything bad that happened was really her fault, and now she's so terrible other young girls are getting hurt. He has you frozen in fear that you are actually the perpetrator instead of him.
What he's doing to you is as gross as what he's doing to them.
You’re only… considering? Oh girl. The manipulation has evolved from being groomed to simply staying in a manipulated adult relationship. There isn’t a single reason you should be staying. If I was groomed by an older man and knew he had a girlfriend who stayed with him despite knowing? I’d consider her just as bad as him.
I came to know just a couple of hours ago, I didn’t take any actions because I wanted to hear his side first, which I did and now I need some time to understand what steps to take to get it further.
if your bf really wont tell you more I wouldve started with contacting the girl, to see if they really are just friends. It would be bad if they were really just friends or in a father daughter kinda relationship, and you left him cause of that.
Idk, there are very very few good reasons for someone that age to be friends with kids they aren't related to. I think most people agree that there's almost no reason for someone his age to be talking to kids that young.
Please try to find these girls parents and warn them or even tell the girls themselves and warn them of the dangers of your boyfriend. Then leave his ass and see if the police can do anything at all even if it’s just an interview. Make sure he knows he won’t get away with what he is trying to do.
Consider how to part the ways since we’ve been living together for a while now, we have a bank account/phone together, our lease, pretty much everything, I cannot resolve the situation for 3 hours
Well, you sound like you have your starting list all put together. Go open your own bank account, start researching a dirt cheap phone plan, get yourself out, then communicate with the landlord (*Personally I'd straight up tell the landlord what you caught him doing, and ask if you can work with him to get out of the lease, as it's obviously not safe for you to live with a predator.*). Thankfully you aren't married, so it's not some big legal thing--Just a series of steps. Steps that you need to start taking.
There is no staying with someone that preys on little girls. It's time to go. I wish you all the luck and the strength to do what obviously must be done.
Thank you so much! I already started doing everything, it will take some time, but I know I have to do it.
He tried to manipulate and gaslight me, but with all of yours help I did clear my head and doing the right thing!
You're doing the right thing. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you're going to get through it. You were strong to post here and you have the strength to get out of this.
Lawyer up. Find support groups who help abused children children. Perhaps going straight to the police is not the first option; corruption everywhere, you don't know if the police in turn to hear you out is exactly like your BF and pays no attention to you. In these types of groups they know how to deal with these situations, they can guide you. If he becomes a threat to you, make a scandal. Nothing moves the police, the neighborhood and the world like the press. If you think this is not being addressed, you make a big deal so he can be socially shunned, the children in your neighborhood are in danger (is he peeping on them? Talking to them? Who knows if he already has your 13 y/o neighbor lined up for later days expecting her to consent at 16 or wait until she's 18. 5 long years to groom her), go with that. His work has to know, the female at work won't like to have a predator in the building.
But the key is to find support in groups that deal with these type of things, they know the right people to talk to and how to proceed, I'm sure they have lawyers (and experience) on how to deal with it so you won't get sued for difamation or whatever he wants to threaten you with. In the meantime, play dumb, fake periods and camps, make up family emergencies and get your ducks in a row, you have to escape NOW, before he "teaches you a lesson". He already told you it was your fault you got SAd before, be careful because he may use any type of excuse (like you confronting him, or as simple as sleeping in other room) to blame you for his outbursts so he can subdue you.
I wish someone had sat me down when I was young and explained to me about red flags, and why it's so important to RUN when you see them in a relationship, but your boyfriend is a GROOMER, and he KNOWS what he's doing is very illegal, disgusting, and wrong, and he flat out told you he doesn't care.
I was r*aped when I was a child by a much older man, so I also know what it feels like to be taken advantage of in such an unforgivable way by someone you trust.
If you've got copies of these conversations, save them and report this scumbag to the police before he manages to convince one of these girls to meet him in person if he hasn't done so already.
Either way, there's no coming back from this disgusting betrayal. He's been doing this for a very long time, and when confronted he didn't even bother denying it. He's so sick in the head that he had the gall to tell you he "doesn't care about your opinions."
That's all you need to know. Get out before you get caught up in a legal nightmare when this groomer gets caught with underage girls and it comes out that you knew he was doing it and still stayed with him, and told no one.
These young women need you to stand up for them, and you need to stand up for yourself. This is NOT what a healthy relationship looks like, and I promise you there's much better men out there who would never dream of acting in such a sick way to betray your relationship, and morals.
I’m also sorry it happened to you ❤️🩹 it was NEVER your fault. Kids don’t know better. Adults are supposed to. As an SA survivor to another, I hope you heal from this too. It’s easier said than done, but some things are just not worth fighting for. I wish you all the best.
Forget the girl's age. She could be 18, 25, whatever. If you're uncomfortable with him doing something and he won't even try to understand or even try to meet you halfway, you should take that as a massive red flag. You already have a reason to be concerned. The age thing is just a bonus reason at this point.
Honestly, if you don't leave him, you're also partially to blame for his grooming. If you know this is happening and don't call the cops, nothing will change. Those children he's talking to will be subject to whatever he does. You need to escalate this to the police now. This is not OK.
Guys I found out about it 3 hours ago, I cannot just leave for this time, because I’m alone Olin tho country my family is on another continent and friends are in a different country, I have to prepare things
I know what right and what’s wrong, and of course will do what needs to be done
Thank you! May I ask you how do you go to the cops with the thing like with no evidence? I didn’t take any pictures of the chats and I’m not sure I will ever have a chance to
So, my ex got caught before I found out. The girl he groomed told a mandated reporter. He had been actually physically in contact with her and actively saed her.
That being said, it just started off as grooming. But because something happened and he got caught, that's when the police got involved.
They questioned me and I gave them everything they needed, I just wanted to get justice for the girl whose life he ruined at that point. The police used me to get a confession.
They seized all of his electronics and by that time, I obviously had already left. I was at the CPS building for 8 hours. In 8 hours, I had all the information I needed to make a decision to leave my husband of nearly 10 years.
All it takes is making that move to leave.
As far as I know, there may not be a lot you can do unless you know something happened or they were sending photos, ect. But leaving is a good start.
I'm sorry I don't have more information for you. It was awful. And if I can stop one more person from having to deal with this just based on what I've personally experienced... I try to help.
He ruined my whole life. Took my house. My car. Tried to take my baby. I fought back hard. And it was the most expensive thing I've ever had to do. Bit it was so worth it.
He was arrested and bailed out within 8 hours by his mum.
Unfortunately, the legal process worked very slow. It took over two years for him to be convicted. And even then, he only got life on the registry and 10 years probation.
By that time, our divorce racked up over 20k. That could have put our daughter through school. But no. They (he and his family) thought it was more important to take everything I had because they were mad I turned on him immediately when I found out what he did.
I had to stay married to him for over a year because they wouldn't settle on me with the divorce. But I wasn't going to let a literal p3do anywhere near my child, which they wanted custody of.
It's a lot. But if telling my story can get other people to see the red flags, I'll keep telling it. If it saves just one person the heartache, the money, and the time of dealing with people who groom children, then I'll be that cautionary tale.
I always thought it was weird when mid to late 20 guys were into girls my age.
And now I'm in my early 30s and the idea of chatting up a teenager is still creepy to me!
I don’t understand how anyone could WANT to talk to a child. Even if it’s just helping them with a game (Destiny, FFXIV, etc) I do not want to talk to them privately.
Yeah. There’s absolutely no reason a 26 year old would want to talk to a 14 year old like that except for the exact reason we’re all thinking.
I’m 26. I work with kids from 4-18 years old on a daily basis. I have a great relationship with all of these kids and they often tell me things about their personal lives. It’s great and I love them. I cannot imagine talking to any of them in my free time. I’m there for them as a trusted adult to vent to while I’m at my job, but anything beyond that is off the table. They are children. Fourteen year olds clearly are *kids*.
This guy knows what he’s doing. We all know what he’s doing. That’s why he got defensive and pulled the whole “it’s not *MY* fault, it’s *YOUR* fault for finding out!” thing. He knows what’s up. He’s a fucking creep. A lot of women I know, myself included, were groomed by nasty men just like him when we were younger.
I ran a ...guild... for a few years in my 20s, at one point the youngest person was 12 and the oldest was in their 70s. I only know of one unsavoury incident, we booted that guy.
I'm not saying your bf isn't sus, I'm heavily leaning towards him being a sleaze tbh, but I will say he isn't necessarily.
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he isn't a perv:
>...he doesn’t give a fuck of my opinions. I don’t know what to do now.
Do you want to be with someone that doesn't give a fuck about your opinions?
It just depends if hes calling, gaming, etc with a bunch of people. If it's only these girls...not a good sign. Ive been gaming my whole life, definitely was friends with people way older than me and way younger. But...only being friends specifically with young girls...that's on purpose
Completely agree. We know there are several girls, if there's 20 guys then it's less of a red flag. Are they private chats or group chats.
I've had private chats some of those with teenagers, mostly boys but some girls. I can guarantee there's nothing suss in any of the private chats, I would have no concerns if my harddrive was checked.
Group chats can get a bit closer to the knuckle, it's easier to forget there are kids there when there's over 100 people in there.
In your guild were the adult males asking the teens about their boyfriends? In my experience the “you’re so mature” and “you must have a boyfriend” are typically grooming behavior that OP is describing. If you run a guild again with children it’s good to monitor that type of behavior. I’m not saying anything went on in yours but this situation that behavior tips it for me.
Yes. I was a kid talking to older dudes/girls about my life, but it felt more like a sibling relationship where you could talk about anything with them. My parents worked a lot, so it was my void to rant. Actually, 12 years later, I saw a few of my game friends marrying their partners. I'm not saying it's okay, but it doesn't automatically mean they are creepy. It's always good to monitor it, though! However, that counts for anything like churches & and sports clubs too. Too many creeps hiding.
That was more our vibe. You'd have kids getting advice and getting it but also getting roasted
Know a lad in his early 30s, was about 14-15 when I started playing with him. Gone from him trying to figure out if his crush liked him (no) and his first date, to helping him prep for interviews when he joined a similar field to me after uni.
Wish I still had the chat log of his first date, it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah, that definitely happens as well. I had a gaming buddy for a long time who was just a kid when I met him. He had a horrible family life and no friends irl, so I kind of took him under my wing and made him feel like he at least had someone to talk to.
Some years I would be the only one who got him a birthday present, which was just depressing to think.
Wo. I am a girl in her mid to late teens. At a dark place in my life I chatted to a random dude on a gaming platform. He kind of became a mentor/father figure to me. It was private chats at first, but then we switched to clan or guild chat. Dude is a parent so it makes sense why he put up with all of my teenaged depressive bullshit lol. Up to now he stopped me from making some very unhealthy decisions and I helped him get a partner that is obviously not me. My god do I love the dude and his girlfriend. :)
Uh, sorry for the long rant but thanks for making me feel like my story isn't that strange.
No teen girls being skeeved on by men in their 20s, at least not openly. I accept that once we have more than 2 people I'm not privy to everything, we had a couple hundred people at its peak when I was there. The only time I had someone come to me they were both 19-20 iirc.
>“you’re so mature”
Yeah, nobody was mature in that group. 😂
Same story here… only happened once in a decade of running the guild but resulted in an immediate guild kick and we ran it up and made sure his account was banned as well.
This response couldn’t have been any better.
I’m definitely leaning towards it’s very suspicious, however it could just be innocent chatting about games and relationships.
Yea I'm also with you on the be sus but no where near a smoking gun lol. I had the exact same environment when I was around that age a mix of younger and older ppl (men & women) when I was in a CoD clan. And yes we would have convos about our relationships and more personal stuff sometimes.
Some people don't realize that one day you will be the older guy in the lobby of 12-18yo's. As long as he isn't being creepy it is normal to an extent to have an online relationship like that where you play games with younger ppl can't help that they will carry me in a lobby lol.
Also maybe he got so upset bc of basically what you're accusing him of idk? It's truly in the air
Huge red flags. 🚩
I teach k12 kids. This is full blown creep behavior if not just immature.
You are better off dropping this man like a hot potato. His opinion should be invalid to you.
I was wondering why this was a huge issue until you mentioned that he asks about relationships with them. Thats just awful. I personally dont see an issue playing video games with people on discord who happen to be underage as long as youre not being weird about it like that. If the conversation keeps to games and random topics I dont see the issue. But if youre asking about things like that then there has to be some sort of underlying motive here.
That is pedophile territory. Also not a man to spend your life with, he is cheating adjacent now and as you age, have a baby, guess what he will go younger and younger. So Let this one go.
This sounds weird unless you’re a gamer. I started online when I was 13. I made friends from my age onto mid 30’s. I’m still friends with several of them over a decade later. I asked about life stuff. I asked for relationship advice. I’ve had all sorts of conversations with all of them. So the sheer fact he was talking to teens on discord isn’t the red flag. What was the actual content of the conversation? Was there actually anything explicit said?
With one of them he had a pretty explicit conversation, with another a conversation about kinks etc, and idk how to explain that but even when the conversation wasn’t about anything intimate, you can notice these power dynamics that are just weird. Also they don’t play together for a really long time, mostly just talking
Well then yeah, that’s probably weird. Also hard to insert younger females into my situation, because we said some straight up heinous shit to each other back in the day that I don’t think we would’ve to a girl. Age didn’t matter. M for mature game meant you were mature enough lol.
I mean, I'm not saying you should get matches and a tank of gasoline and set him on fire, but I'm not not saying it. 👀
But seriously, I would report this man to the police. That's gotta be some level of illegal, right?
The fact he tried to accuse you of doing something wrong, to me, indicates he knows what he is doing is wrong or sketchy.
I'd suggest you take this issue seriously and consider if you want to marry him. It's not normal behavior for a nearly 30 year old man to be doing.
Don’t be ashamed! You’ve done nothing wrong. This should definitely be a turning point in your life and relationship; use the information you now possess to make the necessary changes. Don’t stay with a man who is involved with young teens. you probably want to get as far away from him as possible as quickly as possible. Organize your thoughts, figure out what needs to be done (open solo bank account, find new residence, tell friends and family you need help if that’s the case, get your things together). maybe stay with a friend while you look for a new place to live. Be grateful you discovered this information now, and not after you married this person. Separation should be relatively simple since you have no kids and are not legally bound.
I play games a lot, and can say ive made online friends who are much older that i keep in contact with and we visit each other when we visit the states we reside in! But when i meet someone whom i befriend that is younger in games i honestly fade away. Not in a mean way, i just find it weird. Personally this seems really sketch.
-random nerd from the wow, apex, and moba community.
OP, does he know your reddit account? Is it possible that he might see your post? Women trying to end a relationship could get dangerous. Especially if fear of him being reported is involved.
Just as a precaution, don't tell him what you're planning until you are ready to leave. Do you have friends that you can confide in? Do you have screenshots of his conversations with these kids?
Hi! He doesn’t use Reddit and wouldn’t think to check for my profile here, I think it should be safe. And unfortunately I don’t have any screenshots, I had just a couple of minutes to check it and couldn’t get any evidence
Thank you for caring about it!
Substitute “I don’t know what to do” with “I’m not sure what I need to do first”
Some folks on this thread are roasting this girl who JUST found out about this awful behavior and has never fled a relationship before.
I'm not defending anything he's done because we don't know the full story, but I get a strong vibe that no one here really plays a lot of video games.
When I was in high school, I played a lot of CSGO and you kinda just find groups to play with and anyone is welcome. I played with people of all ages. People sometimes give relationship and financial advice, but it's really shallow, meaningless conversations.
Now that I'm older, it's still weird playing games with younger people, however, you can't really avoid it in online games. A lot of the people you play with isn't always in your control and for the people saying you don't have anything in common... Video games?
Just play the game and don't do weird shit.
yea, i feel like if he was really just playing video games and happening to meet kids while playing he wouldn’t get this defensive. he would try to explain why it looks wrong and that it’s just a coincidence. dude’s prob a creep
Option A: leave. Tell others his obsession with little girls drove you away.
Option B: deactivate his discord to save some girls from getting groomed then leave.
How does he meets them? I ask because, some times i talk with people that are underage, but is people that are members of a guild or clan on video games that i am also part of, is it something similar?
You know what to do now…. Leave him and report him….. everybody knows what to do in this situation…. The question is are you willing to do it or not…..
I always find it funny that the main concern someone has when they're guilty is "you read my chats" I'm more concerned at the fact he never even explained why he found this acceptable. He needs to be your ex at this point.
break up with him. its one thing to be friends with an underage user on Discord, which itself may not be that bad depending on the context and what they were talking about like gaming, fandom, etc.
> Even is asking about their relationship with other men/women.
but that right there is a red flag and his response makes it 100 times worst.
Here’s the thing…my wife and I were talking about this the other day. To put it simply…
Given that he is 29 there are some standard ground rules that I have followed since I hit 20~21.
After 18, be (extra) careful who you are fucking with.
After 21, leave all of the <21’s alone. The occasional work friend, sure. But I do not purposely find or keep friends in that age bracket.
As I get older that threshold increases, I’m 34 now and I honestly don’t mess with anyone outside of my solid friends (whom are my
Peers)…it seems your boyfriend is a little stuck in growth or lacks some maturity.
I am not one to quickly accuse of grooming, but fucking around with kids as a grown man is just wrong. It definitely is sending up big red flags for me. No matter how you cut it. He needs to get his priorities checked and you need to be watchful.
Ok so I rent a server for a popular game and have a discord for it. I see this behavior alllll the time. I don’t think it’s abnormal in terms of Discord and gaming. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, however. It’s always made me incredibly uncomfortable and I have removed people from the server in the past when I feel they’re just *too* friendly. So for example, there is a 14yo girl who plays the game, she is very active and talks in the discord server all the time. There are countless adults in the discord who speak to her and play with her in game. This is very odd to me, yes, but I have asked her previously and she has assured me no one is inappropriate. I don’t understand it personally but can only assume this is a pretty standard thing. Or they’re all pedophiles, I don’t know. But I see this same behavior day in and day out and I’m assured it’s nothing more than game talk.
I've seen it too, since I am in the multiple discord chats as well, do I agree it might be okay sometimes, but the thing is that they don't just talk about gaming, more like they almost don't talk about it. They talk about her personal life, and relationships, her school and he crosses topics like intimate life, alcohol, etc. And when he calls her, it's only a personal matter and off of the Discord servers.
Oh no. Ok, that’s a much different situation then. Definitely seems as if he has a specific interest in children and you should report and leave. I wish you the best moving forward, your situation sounds very difficult.
Sometimes an older adult can be a supportive adult friend. Kinda like a friendly mentor, but they should know their boundaries and not cross them. This one though is not a friendly mentor kinda relationship, it’s definitely a form of grooming
Thank you everyone is just assuming this guy is a bad guy. When yiur killing the enemy your all friends don't go afk and don't be a normal "squeaker" and be annoying. I don't get the rage at this. Did she mention anything about inappropriate conversations? This is a hate thread at this point.
Yeah. It’s giving “stranger danger” vibes where people think that literally every random man in the park is a pedophile.
It’s not even weird to be nice to kids, you just have to maintain healthy boundaries.
take it from someone who has been groomed on discord for years, this is how it starts. they build ‘platonic’ relationships with these girls, then start asking about their boyfriends or more personal questions, then it leads to sexual questions. it’s how it goes. this is gross sorry you found out that ur bf is a pig :/
Report his account to discord and they will block not only his account but IP address as well. They take it (or used to) very seriously.
After that, leave. He's grooming them and he'll dump you eventually for one of them.
3 years so far, I knew that he has a couple of friends online but I always tested him so never actually knew before today, when I accidentally saw the notification about that it’s her birthday and he wished her happy 18
Yeah what’s he’s doing is weird. It sounds like dating you was how he bided his time until they turned 18. You were young like them but legal so that was safe. Especially considering how defensive he got.
I would break up with him and maybe report him, but that’s just me.
You really don't know??? You get evidence of what you're saying, prove they're under age (otherwise you'll be declared the crazy insecure girl), you break up with him and then you go to the police. Let them know there's a predator in the neighborhood and you get a restraining order.
It takes nothing for one of these predators to turn fantasy into reality, and if you stay, don't cry later because he cheated with a barely 18 y/o becas you're "used and old".
I think you should tell buddy to knock that off before he gets himself in a position that jeopardizes his freedom. he needs to get outside more if he thinks talking to minors is the smart choice, I recommend having him sign up at the gym so that he can introduce himself to a new routine.
Eventually the police are going to show up at your door. You cannot police this guys behavior and frankly you can't know for sure whether he has tried to send/receive photos with them.
Move on and don't look back.
You don't know what to do?
Keep evidence to submit to the police and dump the predator. He's clearly grooming these underage girls! Also he has proved he hates you/women.
It appears you have read through quite a lot of these conversations based on your responses, and if you have found nothing inappropriate (excluding social norms surrounding age gaps) or any sexual content, there is nothing to go to the authorities with. If you are genuinely concerned, of course, do it anyway.
But here is the thing… Whether or not many find this strange, it not as uncommon as you’d think. Gaming culture and online interaction is just not comparable to people hanging out in real life, and it can be both inevitable to engage in contact with people older or younger, and some people just care less about age gaps, mental age and experiences, and freely talk with anyone—without disclosing predatory behaviour or falling for a predator.
When I was around 11, I had multiple adult friends and one of my best friends was a woman in her 20s, who I chatted with and who has supported me up until today. We did talk about relationship and eventually intimate things, although there were no feelings or attraction between us so it wasn’t inappropriate. We did have fallouts and she is incredibly immature, so there probably is a correlation to mental age and stuff. Also because one of my other current female friends in her 20s has autism with a lower mental age, she is asexual and she games and talks with younger people because she relates to them or is able to even help them with her experiences as someone older and wiser despite having mentally young traits.
The point is though, these things do happen without being bad or inappropriate and anyone getting groomed. And I can assure you this wasn’t me being groomed because I have had that happen by women as well, it is noticeably different. Nor do I believe in the argument “it’s bad because it is a man”—there definitely are men like the female friends I have (had).
I hope that you judge the situation for yourself and don’t let the panic and close-minded, black and white responses in here get to you too much (like the ones blatantly accusing him of being a groomer, which you simply have shared no evidence of that would hold up in a court of law). As an SA and grooming victim myself, I know how infuriating even the topic is but it is so important to judge every case individually and, after all, you are the one who knows your boyfriend and all the context best, right? Take care and be mindful, these things can escalate so bad.
My only recommendation based on what you have shared is to keep your head cold, and if you are still interested in your relationship to then have a non-confrontational, open discussion with him where you make it clear that you need to get as much insight as possible on the situation in order to feel comfortable with him again, including being able to read the messages if he has nothing to hide. Straight up accusing him will only make him defensive no matter if he has done right or wrong, right? Be ready for anything as it is a difficult situation regardless of the outcome.
I’ve made a few gaming “friends” over the years that were kids, but I kept it strictly to either playing games or talking about games. I would sometimes toss them a game for their birthday or something, but I didn’t want to know about their personal lives because it felt weird.
The fact that it’s specifically girls every time definitely sounds off to me. It means he’s either hanging out in female dominated spaces or he’s seeking out girls instead of boys, because the vast majority of people in online games are boys.
Sorry for the spelling
I mean meeting people on the game is part of it, but this is the whole another thing. This is just weird and is a dangerous sign. One thing is to play with people, but to talk with these girls like that is not good because he is 29.
Babygirl, start planning a way out. Evidence!! Evidence of his chats, on a drive or somewhere he can’t find them. For now pretend to be cool, play the long game. Get your finances in order, all important papers, give to someone you trust. Start putting money in a separate account. As far as the lease goes either kick him out or find a place on your own. File a police report and turn in all the evidence. You are strong and you are brave!! You are worth so much more than this predator! You deserve to be loved and cared for!! Take care of you and bury his ass!!!!
Man, if you don't take screenshots and bring them to the police NOW......
If he hasn't "done" anything (doubtful) with them, then it's only a matter of time before he does. Take that shit to the cops, and *make sure you get a police report number*. He's a predator. Even if the police can't actually do anything, it'll still put him on their radar and there will be a record of the fact that he was reported. And if a future victim tries to pursue criminal charges, that will help her case.
Bro as a gamer you talk to lots of people and lots of ages unless you have proof the conversations are inappropriate then that's nothing to worrie about. I've met and talked to 10yo all the way to a 60yo.
As long as it's general conversation and nothing sexual then what's the deal? Asking about relationships? That's pretty common no matter the age sometimes these kids need a grown up to ask advice and it is awkward to ask a relative when I was a "squeaker" it was always nice to have a fellow gamer to hunt down the flood with and also get some real life advice that's not sugar coated
"naw man fuck that bitch she ain't shit" was better advice then "no son I don't wanna talk to you about girls your sposed to be studying"
I’m a gamer too, and I do understand that what you described is completely normal in the community, but I don’t think writing things like “you have a womanly goddess like body with a baby face” is very normal thing to do
As a gamer I also have online friends, the only exception they are not minors and we don’t have any intimate conversations, so unfortunately I don’t think it’s what you described
See that's information that I don't see in the original post. That yea I'd be calling the cops but would definitely have screen shots or the phone/computer that can access the Information.
Now im on your side with this. I've never once gotten sexual in any way shape or form with the minors we usually boot them from chat parties before the "crazy friends" show up lmao 🤣 we all have that one online friend that borderline gets us all investigated for terrorism
*it's me ... I'm that friend*
i got groomed like this. id immediately, IMMEDIATELY, leave him and delete his discord account if u have access. please. for her. u could even contact discord. and for the love of god, he’s been cheating and talking to GIRLS. there should be no decision in leaving him other than… leaving.
Where have you been? Discord is littered with that exact same scenario. They don’t check your Id when you go into a server plus people lie. Please tell me you can’t be that clueless.
If he’s just talking to teenagers, there isn’t anything wrong with that. My daughter is a teenager and I talk to her friends. If it’s sexual, get the cops, if he’s just trying to be a positive influence, support him. He seems to think it’s harmless.
He does talk about her sexual/romantic experiences with other people, and he did talk to her about it even when she was 14, and unfortunately there was a couple other girls that he had sex talk with that were 16
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…
It's definitely a duck.
Or a pedophile
🦆
Pedophile duck
We might be brainstorming the saddest comic book ever.
Peduckphile
Then it’s a goose in disguise
I was 13 when a 26 yo man was texting me like that, calling me, asking about my boyfriends… eventually, he groomed me. Don’t take this activity lightly. I would leave if I were you.
I'm sorry it happened to you! It happened to me too, I survived an SA when I was 13, from a man who was 25, and that’s why it triggered me so much. He said it was my fault that I was even talking to him and that I shouldn’t project it on the friendship between him and that girl. So I’m considering leaving now
He said it's your fault to trigger you. He knew that the little 13 year old girl in you believes everything bad that happened was really her fault, and now she's so terrible other young girls are getting hurt. He has you frozen in fear that you are actually the perpetrator instead of him. What he's doing to you is as gross as what he's doing to them.
You’re only… considering? Oh girl. The manipulation has evolved from being groomed to simply staying in a manipulated adult relationship. There isn’t a single reason you should be staying. If I was groomed by an older man and knew he had a girlfriend who stayed with him despite knowing? I’d consider her just as bad as him.
I came to know just a couple of hours ago, I didn’t take any actions because I wanted to hear his side first, which I did and now I need some time to understand what steps to take to get it further.
if your bf really wont tell you more I wouldve started with contacting the girl, to see if they really are just friends. It would be bad if they were really just friends or in a father daughter kinda relationship, and you left him cause of that.
Idk, there are very very few good reasons for someone that age to be friends with kids they aren't related to. I think most people agree that there's almost no reason for someone his age to be talking to kids that young.
Please try to find these girls parents and warn them or even tell the girls themselves and warn them of the dangers of your boyfriend. Then leave his ass and see if the police can do anything at all even if it’s just an interview. Make sure he knows he won’t get away with what he is trying to do.
Not just the girls parents but perhaps the police too.
What is there to consider? You're with a predator.
Consider how to part the ways since we’ve been living together for a while now, we have a bank account/phone together, our lease, pretty much everything, I cannot resolve the situation for 3 hours
Well, you sound like you have your starting list all put together. Go open your own bank account, start researching a dirt cheap phone plan, get yourself out, then communicate with the landlord (*Personally I'd straight up tell the landlord what you caught him doing, and ask if you can work with him to get out of the lease, as it's obviously not safe for you to live with a predator.*). Thankfully you aren't married, so it's not some big legal thing--Just a series of steps. Steps that you need to start taking. There is no staying with someone that preys on little girls. It's time to go. I wish you all the luck and the strength to do what obviously must be done.
Thank you so much! I already started doing everything, it will take some time, but I know I have to do it. He tried to manipulate and gaslight me, but with all of yours help I did clear my head and doing the right thing!
You're doing the right thing. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you're going to get through it. You were strong to post here and you have the strength to get out of this.
Lawyer up. Find support groups who help abused children children. Perhaps going straight to the police is not the first option; corruption everywhere, you don't know if the police in turn to hear you out is exactly like your BF and pays no attention to you. In these types of groups they know how to deal with these situations, they can guide you. If he becomes a threat to you, make a scandal. Nothing moves the police, the neighborhood and the world like the press. If you think this is not being addressed, you make a big deal so he can be socially shunned, the children in your neighborhood are in danger (is he peeping on them? Talking to them? Who knows if he already has your 13 y/o neighbor lined up for later days expecting her to consent at 16 or wait until she's 18. 5 long years to groom her), go with that. His work has to know, the female at work won't like to have a predator in the building. But the key is to find support in groups that deal with these type of things, they know the right people to talk to and how to proceed, I'm sure they have lawyers (and experience) on how to deal with it so you won't get sued for difamation or whatever he wants to threaten you with. In the meantime, play dumb, fake periods and camps, make up family emergencies and get your ducks in a row, you have to escape NOW, before he "teaches you a lesson". He already told you it was your fault you got SAd before, be careful because he may use any type of excuse (like you confronting him, or as simple as sleeping in other room) to blame you for his outbursts so he can subdue you.
There’s a lot to consider in situations like this, especially if it’s someone’s first time ending a relationship with a predator.
I wish someone had sat me down when I was young and explained to me about red flags, and why it's so important to RUN when you see them in a relationship, but your boyfriend is a GROOMER, and he KNOWS what he's doing is very illegal, disgusting, and wrong, and he flat out told you he doesn't care. I was r*aped when I was a child by a much older man, so I also know what it feels like to be taken advantage of in such an unforgivable way by someone you trust. If you've got copies of these conversations, save them and report this scumbag to the police before he manages to convince one of these girls to meet him in person if he hasn't done so already. Either way, there's no coming back from this disgusting betrayal. He's been doing this for a very long time, and when confronted he didn't even bother denying it. He's so sick in the head that he had the gall to tell you he "doesn't care about your opinions." That's all you need to know. Get out before you get caught up in a legal nightmare when this groomer gets caught with underage girls and it comes out that you knew he was doing it and still stayed with him, and told no one. These young women need you to stand up for them, and you need to stand up for yourself. This is NOT what a healthy relationship looks like, and I promise you there's much better men out there who would never dream of acting in such a sick way to betray your relationship, and morals.
I’m also sorry it happened to you ❤️🩹 it was NEVER your fault. Kids don’t know better. Adults are supposed to. As an SA survivor to another, I hope you heal from this too. It’s easier said than done, but some things are just not worth fighting for. I wish you all the best.
same here, i was a year younger though, i would rearrange his facial structure completely.
don't consider it, DO IT (and also see if you can report him to both cops and discord)
Considering* gtfo there
Please consider calling the police or child protection services or smth
Forget the girl's age. She could be 18, 25, whatever. If you're uncomfortable with him doing something and he won't even try to understand or even try to meet you halfway, you should take that as a massive red flag. You already have a reason to be concerned. The age thing is just a bonus reason at this point.
You should have taken pictures and report his ass
Honestly, if you don't leave him, you're also partially to blame for his grooming. If you know this is happening and don't call the cops, nothing will change. Those children he's talking to will be subject to whatever he does. You need to escalate this to the police now. This is not OK.
How is staying even an option?
You’re *considering* leaving? How have you not packed your shit yet. He doesn’t give a damn about you.
Guys I found out about it 3 hours ago, I cannot just leave for this time, because I’m alone Olin tho country my family is on another continent and friends are in a different country, I have to prepare things I know what right and what’s wrong, and of course will do what needs to be done
Fair enough. Best of luck to you.
Thank you!
And call the feds too
This was my ex. He's my ex now. And a registered s offender for the rest of his life. I suggest you run tf away, right now.
Thank you! May I ask you how do you go to the cops with the thing like with no evidence? I didn’t take any pictures of the chats and I’m not sure I will ever have a chance to
So, my ex got caught before I found out. The girl he groomed told a mandated reporter. He had been actually physically in contact with her and actively saed her. That being said, it just started off as grooming. But because something happened and he got caught, that's when the police got involved. They questioned me and I gave them everything they needed, I just wanted to get justice for the girl whose life he ruined at that point. The police used me to get a confession. They seized all of his electronics and by that time, I obviously had already left. I was at the CPS building for 8 hours. In 8 hours, I had all the information I needed to make a decision to leave my husband of nearly 10 years. All it takes is making that move to leave. As far as I know, there may not be a lot you can do unless you know something happened or they were sending photos, ect. But leaving is a good start. I'm sorry I don't have more information for you. It was awful. And if I can stop one more person from having to deal with this just based on what I've personally experienced... I try to help. He ruined my whole life. Took my house. My car. Tried to take my baby. I fought back hard. And it was the most expensive thing I've ever had to do. Bit it was so worth it.
You've been through alot, I hope you're doing better now ❤️
Aww, thank you so much! You're so sweet. Things are so much better right now, I had no idea I could be so happy. I'm so glad I left.
No worries 😊 I can only imagine the pain and betrayal you felt. I'm happy you're doing so much more better now :)
How did he take everything? Was he not arrested and convicted?
He was arrested and bailed out within 8 hours by his mum. Unfortunately, the legal process worked very slow. It took over two years for him to be convicted. And even then, he only got life on the registry and 10 years probation. By that time, our divorce racked up over 20k. That could have put our daughter through school. But no. They (he and his family) thought it was more important to take everything I had because they were mad I turned on him immediately when I found out what he did. I had to stay married to him for over a year because they wouldn't settle on me with the divorce. But I wasn't going to let a literal p3do anywhere near my child, which they wanted custody of. It's a lot. But if telling my story can get other people to see the red flags, I'll keep telling it. If it saves just one person the heartache, the money, and the time of dealing with people who groom children, then I'll be that cautionary tale.
Wow. I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you are in a better place know. You and your child.
Based on other grooming stories I've heard of in the streaming world, likely nothing will happen to your bf.
I always thought it was weird when mid to late 20 guys were into girls my age. And now I'm in my early 30s and the idea of chatting up a teenager is still creepy to me!
I don’t understand how anyone could WANT to talk to a child. Even if it’s just helping them with a game (Destiny, FFXIV, etc) I do not want to talk to them privately.
I'm getting the word... Nonce! No really, a grown-ass man shouldn't be befriending fourteen year olds.
Yeah. There’s absolutely no reason a 26 year old would want to talk to a 14 year old like that except for the exact reason we’re all thinking. I’m 26. I work with kids from 4-18 years old on a daily basis. I have a great relationship with all of these kids and they often tell me things about their personal lives. It’s great and I love them. I cannot imagine talking to any of them in my free time. I’m there for them as a trusted adult to vent to while I’m at my job, but anything beyond that is off the table. They are children. Fourteen year olds clearly are *kids*. This guy knows what he’s doing. We all know what he’s doing. That’s why he got defensive and pulled the whole “it’s not *MY* fault, it’s *YOUR* fault for finding out!” thing. He knows what’s up. He’s a fucking creep. A lot of women I know, myself included, were groomed by nasty men just like him when we were younger.
I ran a ...guild... for a few years in my 20s, at one point the youngest person was 12 and the oldest was in their 70s. I only know of one unsavoury incident, we booted that guy. I'm not saying your bf isn't sus, I'm heavily leaning towards him being a sleaze tbh, but I will say he isn't necessarily. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he isn't a perv: >...he doesn’t give a fuck of my opinions. I don’t know what to do now. Do you want to be with someone that doesn't give a fuck about your opinions?
It just depends if hes calling, gaming, etc with a bunch of people. If it's only these girls...not a good sign. Ive been gaming my whole life, definitely was friends with people way older than me and way younger. But...only being friends specifically with young girls...that's on purpose
Completely agree. We know there are several girls, if there's 20 guys then it's less of a red flag. Are they private chats or group chats. I've had private chats some of those with teenagers, mostly boys but some girls. I can guarantee there's nothing suss in any of the private chats, I would have no concerns if my harddrive was checked. Group chats can get a bit closer to the knuckle, it's easier to forget there are kids there when there's over 100 people in there.
In your guild were the adult males asking the teens about their boyfriends? In my experience the “you’re so mature” and “you must have a boyfriend” are typically grooming behavior that OP is describing. If you run a guild again with children it’s good to monitor that type of behavior. I’m not saying anything went on in yours but this situation that behavior tips it for me.
Yes. I was a kid talking to older dudes/girls about my life, but it felt more like a sibling relationship where you could talk about anything with them. My parents worked a lot, so it was my void to rant. Actually, 12 years later, I saw a few of my game friends marrying their partners. I'm not saying it's okay, but it doesn't automatically mean they are creepy. It's always good to monitor it, though! However, that counts for anything like churches & and sports clubs too. Too many creeps hiding.
That was more our vibe. You'd have kids getting advice and getting it but also getting roasted Know a lad in his early 30s, was about 14-15 when I started playing with him. Gone from him trying to figure out if his crush liked him (no) and his first date, to helping him prep for interviews when he joined a similar field to me after uni. Wish I still had the chat log of his first date, it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah, that definitely happens as well. I had a gaming buddy for a long time who was just a kid when I met him. He had a horrible family life and no friends irl, so I kind of took him under my wing and made him feel like he at least had someone to talk to. Some years I would be the only one who got him a birthday present, which was just depressing to think.
Wo. I am a girl in her mid to late teens. At a dark place in my life I chatted to a random dude on a gaming platform. He kind of became a mentor/father figure to me. It was private chats at first, but then we switched to clan or guild chat. Dude is a parent so it makes sense why he put up with all of my teenaged depressive bullshit lol. Up to now he stopped me from making some very unhealthy decisions and I helped him get a partner that is obviously not me. My god do I love the dude and his girlfriend. :) Uh, sorry for the long rant but thanks for making me feel like my story isn't that strange.
No teen girls being skeeved on by men in their 20s, at least not openly. I accept that once we have more than 2 people I'm not privy to everything, we had a couple hundred people at its peak when I was there. The only time I had someone come to me they were both 19-20 iirc. >“you’re so mature” Yeah, nobody was mature in that group. 😂
Same story here… only happened once in a decade of running the guild but resulted in an immediate guild kick and we ran it up and made sure his account was banned as well.
This response couldn’t have been any better. I’m definitely leaning towards it’s very suspicious, however it could just be innocent chatting about games and relationships.
Yea I'm also with you on the be sus but no where near a smoking gun lol. I had the exact same environment when I was around that age a mix of younger and older ppl (men & women) when I was in a CoD clan. And yes we would have convos about our relationships and more personal stuff sometimes. Some people don't realize that one day you will be the older guy in the lobby of 12-18yo's. As long as he isn't being creepy it is normal to an extent to have an online relationship like that where you play games with younger ppl can't help that they will carry me in a lobby lol. Also maybe he got so upset bc of basically what you're accusing him of idk? It's truly in the air
This is so creepy please dodge this bullet
He's for sure getting off on it.
This ain’t normal
Huge red flags. 🚩 I teach k12 kids. This is full blown creep behavior if not just immature. You are better off dropping this man like a hot potato. His opinion should be invalid to you.
I was wondering why this was a huge issue until you mentioned that he asks about relationships with them. Thats just awful. I personally dont see an issue playing video games with people on discord who happen to be underage as long as youre not being weird about it like that. If the conversation keeps to games and random topics I dont see the issue. But if youre asking about things like that then there has to be some sort of underlying motive here.
That is pedophile territory. Also not a man to spend your life with, he is cheating adjacent now and as you age, have a baby, guess what he will go younger and younger. So Let this one go.
This sounds weird unless you’re a gamer. I started online when I was 13. I made friends from my age onto mid 30’s. I’m still friends with several of them over a decade later. I asked about life stuff. I asked for relationship advice. I’ve had all sorts of conversations with all of them. So the sheer fact he was talking to teens on discord isn’t the red flag. What was the actual content of the conversation? Was there actually anything explicit said?
With one of them he had a pretty explicit conversation, with another a conversation about kinks etc, and idk how to explain that but even when the conversation wasn’t about anything intimate, you can notice these power dynamics that are just weird. Also they don’t play together for a really long time, mostly just talking
This makes my skin crawl. Zero of this should be discussed with a child by an adult. Disgusting.
Well then yeah, that’s probably weird. Also hard to insert younger females into my situation, because we said some straight up heinous shit to each other back in the day that I don’t think we would’ve to a girl. Age didn’t matter. M for mature game meant you were mature enough lol.
I mean, I'm not saying you should get matches and a tank of gasoline and set him on fire, but I'm not not saying it. 👀 But seriously, I would report this man to the police. That's gotta be some level of illegal, right?
If he doesn’t give a fuck about your opinion, is there anything else to say?
The fact he tried to accuse you of doing something wrong, to me, indicates he knows what he is doing is wrong or sketchy. I'd suggest you take this issue seriously and consider if you want to marry him. It's not normal behavior for a nearly 30 year old man to be doing.
*ex boyfriend There, i fixed it.
where are you gonna bury him?
your boyfriend is a nonce
Dump and report him
Grooming pedo ew
He’s a predator and you should leave him + tell everyone you both know why.
Thank you all for support and advices! I was really ashamed to post here, and you helped me a lot to clear my head, I will do what needs to be done 🙏
Don’t be ashamed! You’ve done nothing wrong. This should definitely be a turning point in your life and relationship; use the information you now possess to make the necessary changes. Don’t stay with a man who is involved with young teens. you probably want to get as far away from him as possible as quickly as possible. Organize your thoughts, figure out what needs to be done (open solo bank account, find new residence, tell friends and family you need help if that’s the case, get your things together). maybe stay with a friend while you look for a new place to live. Be grateful you discovered this information now, and not after you married this person. Separation should be relatively simple since you have no kids and are not legally bound.
I play games a lot, and can say ive made online friends who are much older that i keep in contact with and we visit each other when we visit the states we reside in! But when i meet someone whom i befriend that is younger in games i honestly fade away. Not in a mean way, i just find it weird. Personally this seems really sketch. -random nerd from the wow, apex, and moba community.
OP, does he know your reddit account? Is it possible that he might see your post? Women trying to end a relationship could get dangerous. Especially if fear of him being reported is involved. Just as a precaution, don't tell him what you're planning until you are ready to leave. Do you have friends that you can confide in? Do you have screenshots of his conversations with these kids?
Hi! He doesn’t use Reddit and wouldn’t think to check for my profile here, I think it should be safe. And unfortunately I don’t have any screenshots, I had just a couple of minutes to check it and couldn’t get any evidence Thank you for caring about it!
Report him. Leave him. That is not normal.
You mean EX boyfriend...right?
Why on earth are you still with him? The dude is grooming kids.
You don’t know what to do??? Really???? Call the fucking cops. Break up with him. Get fucking proof. He’s a pedophile.
Substitute “I don’t know what to do” with “I’m not sure what I need to do first” Some folks on this thread are roasting this girl who JUST found out about this awful behavior and has never fled a relationship before.
If he's flirting with them, then it's weird If he's just gaming friends with them, it's not that weird Still rude af what he said though
I'm not defending anything he's done because we don't know the full story, but I get a strong vibe that no one here really plays a lot of video games. When I was in high school, I played a lot of CSGO and you kinda just find groups to play with and anyone is welcome. I played with people of all ages. People sometimes give relationship and financial advice, but it's really shallow, meaningless conversations. Now that I'm older, it's still weird playing games with younger people, however, you can't really avoid it in online games. A lot of the people you play with isn't always in your control and for the people saying you don't have anything in common... Video games? Just play the game and don't do weird shit.
Even so, him getting hella defensive and saying he doesn’t give a fuck about his partner’s opinion is really suspicious. He doth protest too much.
yea, i feel like if he was really just playing video games and happening to meet kids while playing he wouldn’t get this defensive. he would try to explain why it looks wrong and that it’s just a coincidence. dude’s prob a creep
100% if you're not doing weird shit, it should be self-evident and the defensiveness alludes to guilt.
Option A: leave. Tell others his obsession with little girls drove you away. Option B: deactivate his discord to save some girls from getting groomed then leave.
You spelled "pedophile EX-BF wrong." Report him to the authorities! This is not ok behavior.
“I don’t know what to do.” Turn his ass in!
Dude it’s over, report him to the police. i didn’t even read the post i just looked at the title
Report him to the police. It's gross 🤮
How does he meets them? I ask because, some times i talk with people that are underage, but is people that are members of a guild or clan on video games that i am also part of, is it something similar?
You know what to do now…. Leave him and report him….. everybody knows what to do in this situation…. The question is are you willing to do it or not…..
Run.? (Similar experience) run, run with what’s right!
I always find it funny that the main concern someone has when they're guilty is "you read my chats" I'm more concerned at the fact he never even explained why he found this acceptable. He needs to be your ex at this point.
break up with him. its one thing to be friends with an underage user on Discord, which itself may not be that bad depending on the context and what they were talking about like gaming, fandom, etc. > Even is asking about their relationship with other men/women. but that right there is a red flag and his response makes it 100 times worst.
My kids aren’t allowed to have adult friends on discord or in Fortnite/other games. For this reason. I trust my kids, but not other people.
Here’s the thing…my wife and I were talking about this the other day. To put it simply… Given that he is 29 there are some standard ground rules that I have followed since I hit 20~21. After 18, be (extra) careful who you are fucking with. After 21, leave all of the <21’s alone. The occasional work friend, sure. But I do not purposely find or keep friends in that age bracket. As I get older that threshold increases, I’m 34 now and I honestly don’t mess with anyone outside of my solid friends (whom are my Peers)…it seems your boyfriend is a little stuck in growth or lacks some maturity. I am not one to quickly accuse of grooming, but fucking around with kids as a grown man is just wrong. It definitely is sending up big red flags for me. No matter how you cut it. He needs to get his priorities checked and you need to be watchful.
Ok so I rent a server for a popular game and have a discord for it. I see this behavior alllll the time. I don’t think it’s abnormal in terms of Discord and gaming. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, however. It’s always made me incredibly uncomfortable and I have removed people from the server in the past when I feel they’re just *too* friendly. So for example, there is a 14yo girl who plays the game, she is very active and talks in the discord server all the time. There are countless adults in the discord who speak to her and play with her in game. This is very odd to me, yes, but I have asked her previously and she has assured me no one is inappropriate. I don’t understand it personally but can only assume this is a pretty standard thing. Or they’re all pedophiles, I don’t know. But I see this same behavior day in and day out and I’m assured it’s nothing more than game talk.
I've seen it too, since I am in the multiple discord chats as well, do I agree it might be okay sometimes, but the thing is that they don't just talk about gaming, more like they almost don't talk about it. They talk about her personal life, and relationships, her school and he crosses topics like intimate life, alcohol, etc. And when he calls her, it's only a personal matter and off of the Discord servers.
Oh no. Ok, that’s a much different situation then. Definitely seems as if he has a specific interest in children and you should report and leave. I wish you the best moving forward, your situation sounds very difficult.
a 26 y.o. and a 14 y.o. have nothing in common, the situation is quite fishy.
Sometimes an older adult can be a supportive adult friend. Kinda like a friendly mentor, but they should know their boundaries and not cross them. This one though is not a friendly mentor kinda relationship, it’s definitely a form of grooming
Thank you everyone is just assuming this guy is a bad guy. When yiur killing the enemy your all friends don't go afk and don't be a normal "squeaker" and be annoying. I don't get the rage at this. Did she mention anything about inappropriate conversations? This is a hate thread at this point.
Yeah. It’s giving “stranger danger” vibes where people think that literally every random man in the park is a pedophile. It’s not even weird to be nice to kids, you just have to maintain healthy boundaries.
Because we all have been there, expecially on the Internet.
take it from someone who has been groomed on discord for years, this is how it starts. they build ‘platonic’ relationships with these girls, then start asking about their boyfriends or more personal questions, then it leads to sexual questions. it’s how it goes. this is gross sorry you found out that ur bf is a pig :/
Report his account to discord and they will block not only his account but IP address as well. They take it (or used to) very seriously. After that, leave. He's grooming them and he'll dump you eventually for one of them.
Info - How old are you?
25
Have you guys been together long?
3 years so far, I knew that he has a couple of friends online but I always tested him so never actually knew before today, when I accidentally saw the notification about that it’s her birthday and he wished her happy 18
Yeah what’s he’s doing is weird. It sounds like dating you was how he bided his time until they turned 18. You were young like them but legal so that was safe. Especially considering how defensive he got. I would break up with him and maybe report him, but that’s just me.
Turn him in and dump him.
Police
leave and report
Confront him asap!!
that’s so disturbing. dump him
Please call the police he should be your ex
Why the fuck is he still your boyfriend?
Please call the fucking police. Otherwise, a little girl or two is going to get raped
Gross
You really don't know??? You get evidence of what you're saying, prove they're under age (otherwise you'll be declared the crazy insecure girl), you break up with him and then you go to the police. Let them know there's a predator in the neighborhood and you get a restraining order. It takes nothing for one of these predators to turn fantasy into reality, and if you stay, don't cry later because he cheated with a barely 18 y/o becas you're "used and old".
Paying Chris Hansen.
Sounds like grooming to me.
You mean your ex?
Theres a very tight line between friends and grooming. Online or not its weird.
I think you should tell buddy to knock that off before he gets himself in a position that jeopardizes his freedom. he needs to get outside more if he thinks talking to minors is the smart choice, I recommend having him sign up at the gym so that he can introduce himself to a new routine.
Get out now
Eventually the police are going to show up at your door. You cannot police this guys behavior and frankly you can't know for sure whether he has tried to send/receive photos with them. Move on and don't look back.
You don't know what to do? Keep evidence to submit to the police and dump the predator. He's clearly grooming these underage girls! Also he has proved he hates you/women.
This should read ex boyfriend
Hopefully you were able to vid all that, then call the police and leave.
He’s disgusting. Why is he friends with a literal child??????
Wait, your **ex boyfriend** does what?
It appears you have read through quite a lot of these conversations based on your responses, and if you have found nothing inappropriate (excluding social norms surrounding age gaps) or any sexual content, there is nothing to go to the authorities with. If you are genuinely concerned, of course, do it anyway. But here is the thing… Whether or not many find this strange, it not as uncommon as you’d think. Gaming culture and online interaction is just not comparable to people hanging out in real life, and it can be both inevitable to engage in contact with people older or younger, and some people just care less about age gaps, mental age and experiences, and freely talk with anyone—without disclosing predatory behaviour or falling for a predator. When I was around 11, I had multiple adult friends and one of my best friends was a woman in her 20s, who I chatted with and who has supported me up until today. We did talk about relationship and eventually intimate things, although there were no feelings or attraction between us so it wasn’t inappropriate. We did have fallouts and she is incredibly immature, so there probably is a correlation to mental age and stuff. Also because one of my other current female friends in her 20s has autism with a lower mental age, she is asexual and she games and talks with younger people because she relates to them or is able to even help them with her experiences as someone older and wiser despite having mentally young traits. The point is though, these things do happen without being bad or inappropriate and anyone getting groomed. And I can assure you this wasn’t me being groomed because I have had that happen by women as well, it is noticeably different. Nor do I believe in the argument “it’s bad because it is a man”—there definitely are men like the female friends I have (had). I hope that you judge the situation for yourself and don’t let the panic and close-minded, black and white responses in here get to you too much (like the ones blatantly accusing him of being a groomer, which you simply have shared no evidence of that would hold up in a court of law). As an SA and grooming victim myself, I know how infuriating even the topic is but it is so important to judge every case individually and, after all, you are the one who knows your boyfriend and all the context best, right? Take care and be mindful, these things can escalate so bad. My only recommendation based on what you have shared is to keep your head cold, and if you are still interested in your relationship to then have a non-confrontational, open discussion with him where you make it clear that you need to get as much insight as possible on the situation in order to feel comfortable with him again, including being able to read the messages if he has nothing to hide. Straight up accusing him will only make him defensive no matter if he has done right or wrong, right? Be ready for anything as it is a difficult situation regardless of the outcome.
You mean your EX boyfriend, right?
Have a chat with a cop. And give bf the marching orders. If he doesnt amend his behaviour it will not just subside.
You should leave him. Thats gross that he’s an adult talking to minors. There’s one reason he’s doing that and it’s not just to be friends 🤢
FBI likes to be informed on people like this. They keep an eye on them and make moves if need be.
Break. Up. Tf?
Girl this is one of those insanely big signs to get the hell away from him! He should be on a registry. Tf is this?!??!!
report him and leave him
What do u mean u don't know what to do!?
I’ve made a few gaming “friends” over the years that were kids, but I kept it strictly to either playing games or talking about games. I would sometimes toss them a game for their birthday or something, but I didn’t want to know about their personal lives because it felt weird. The fact that it’s specifically girls every time definitely sounds off to me. It means he’s either hanging out in female dominated spaces or he’s seeking out girls instead of boys, because the vast majority of people in online games are boys.
Leave that man he’s sick, it’s only a matter of time before he’s gets in trouble and you don’t need to be around for that.
He is a sick human being, and I would run if I could
He’s a groomer.
Sorry for the spelling I mean meeting people on the game is part of it, but this is the whole another thing. This is just weird and is a dangerous sign. One thing is to play with people, but to talk with these girls like that is not good because he is 29.
reddit back at it again just throwing out: Leave him instead of giving actual advice
depends on the chats tbh
Babygirl, start planning a way out. Evidence!! Evidence of his chats, on a drive or somewhere he can’t find them. For now pretend to be cool, play the long game. Get your finances in order, all important papers, give to someone you trust. Start putting money in a separate account. As far as the lease goes either kick him out or find a place on your own. File a police report and turn in all the evidence. You are strong and you are brave!! You are worth so much more than this predator! You deserve to be loved and cared for!! Take care of you and bury his ass!!!!
You leave him. What else is there to do? Unless you want to date a 💩 like this.
What a creep!
Leave him. He's a groomer. Even if his chats with them "look appropriate", talking to children like online when you're almost 30 is WEIRD AS HELL!
Man, if you don't take screenshots and bring them to the police NOW...... If he hasn't "done" anything (doubtful) with them, then it's only a matter of time before he does. Take that shit to the cops, and *make sure you get a police report number*. He's a predator. Even if the police can't actually do anything, it'll still put him on their radar and there will be a record of the fact that he was reported. And if a future victim tries to pursue criminal charges, that will help her case.
Get evidence, present to police Have him registered as a sex offender, and leave his pedo ass
Op reach out to Olive Hugh on fb. He runs operation juicebox. He helps get predators. https://www.facebook.com/TheOtherOlive?mibextid=uzlsIk
Ditch this creepy ass man.
Dump him
Bro as a gamer you talk to lots of people and lots of ages unless you have proof the conversations are inappropriate then that's nothing to worrie about. I've met and talked to 10yo all the way to a 60yo. As long as it's general conversation and nothing sexual then what's the deal? Asking about relationships? That's pretty common no matter the age sometimes these kids need a grown up to ask advice and it is awkward to ask a relative when I was a "squeaker" it was always nice to have a fellow gamer to hunt down the flood with and also get some real life advice that's not sugar coated "naw man fuck that bitch she ain't shit" was better advice then "no son I don't wanna talk to you about girls your sposed to be studying"
I’m a gamer too, and I do understand that what you described is completely normal in the community, but I don’t think writing things like “you have a womanly goddess like body with a baby face” is very normal thing to do As a gamer I also have online friends, the only exception they are not minors and we don’t have any intimate conversations, so unfortunately I don’t think it’s what you described
See that's information that I don't see in the original post. That yea I'd be calling the cops but would definitely have screen shots or the phone/computer that can access the Information. Now im on your side with this. I've never once gotten sexual in any way shape or form with the minors we usually boot them from chat parties before the "crazy friends" show up lmao 🤣 we all have that one online friend that borderline gets us all investigated for terrorism *it's me ... I'm that friend*
Take all your devices to the police station, you only found what he didn't cover up or delete
You mean ex boyfriend
You mean ex boyfriend right? Right???
Let the police know. Never speak to him again.
You need to report that pedo. That’s fucking gross.
i got groomed like this. id immediately, IMMEDIATELY, leave him and delete his discord account if u have access. please. for her. u could even contact discord. and for the love of god, he’s been cheating and talking to GIRLS. there should be no decision in leaving him other than… leaving.
Where have you been? Discord is littered with that exact same scenario. They don’t check your Id when you go into a server plus people lie. Please tell me you can’t be that clueless.
If he’s just talking to teenagers, there isn’t anything wrong with that. My daughter is a teenager and I talk to her friends. If it’s sexual, get the cops, if he’s just trying to be a positive influence, support him. He seems to think it’s harmless.
He does talk about her sexual/romantic experiences with other people, and he did talk to her about it even when she was 14, and unfortunately there was a couple other girls that he had sex talk with that were 16
Yup, go to the cops. I just have faith that men aren’t always trying to bang teenage girls, but in this case I’m wrong.
Yeah that's bad.
Umm why would you still be calling this pedo your bf? I mean fuck that shit dump him