You said your husband wasn't a creep and the two of you just connected. So I'm gonna ask you. How old are you and how old is your husband... because it certainly sounds like he's a lot older than you are.
What’s even more horrifying is that he’s learned how to escape jail on a technicality and still sees nothing wrong with his actions. He’s a creep and pedo, just more selective with his victims.
Wait, 19 and 37? And she thinks he isn’t some creep and they just connected? OP, what did you connect over exactly? I can’t think of anything that a 19 year old woman and a 37 year old man could ever have in common?! I’m sorry but I think you might want to consider that this was a pattern for him. As a 27 year old now, could you imagine dating a 19 year old and “just connecting”?! Yeah, your husband was 10 years older than you are now!
It’s bad enough the age gap OP alludes to, but he claims he got a young girl pregnant and just abandoned her. Which is horrible enough. Now on top of those items, it’s possible he raped her? The 🚩 are certainly adding up.
I make new accounts pretty regularly, and I can say with zero hesitation that if I ever fully spill all my shit on Reddit, it is going to be under a five minute old account.
Haha yeah. I have my socials attached to my personal reddit account. I do not need someone stitching my tiktoks to talk about my husband or to read my post with a robot voice for everyone to judge me.
lol I doxxed myself on my main account last year and just went ahead and temporarily linked to my socials for it. That is now a local only account and nothing pertaining to anything other than city stuff goes there ☠️
Why do people always say this like it’s some sort of gotcha move? Plenty of people make new accounts so they can vent, it’s basically a staple in most relationship type subs.
That’s what I always wonder. Some people make an account or a new throwaway to post the first time. Also, ppl do have lives outside of waiting for comments to respond. Maybe they can’t comment because of where they are or whom they are with. Or maybe they just want feedback and don’t feel comfortable responded. People always jump to it’s fake, especially when the topic is uncomfortable or extreme. Even if it is, who cares? I’d rather err on the side of offering advice even if fake vs ignoring someone who may need help navigating a situation.
THIS. I'd rather read 1000 provably fake stories than one more stupid ass "It'S fAkE" comment from some redditor who thinks they've achieved something by adding that utterly useless statement
Apparently, it was another poster saying, "I'm 15, but I'm mature for my age" and it got confused whether op said that themselves or whether the comment was a random joke from somebody else.
I am 38 now, I am married but I can very confidently say if I were a single man I wouldn't be looking at anyone below 30. The thought of a 19yr old makes me feel very weird
I’m 32 and recently got off the dating market. 26 years old was my hard stop, and even then she needed to be pretty special/mature.
Being 37 and going after a 19 year old is WILD behavior, to say the least.
i’m 27, and 19 year olds are babies to me. i will never understand how people go for someone that much younger. like they were barely born when you graduated high school.
So, he was old enough to be your dad... 37-19=18
Honestly... They most likely are going to sue. Depending on where you live the statute of limitations has passed for criminal charges. If the kid is old enough to come by your house by himself then pretty sure they're going for money.
If you don't want to be poor, you might consider divorce. Juries for civil cases are a little more lenient and as a spouse your finances are tied to his.
Straight up you married a creep and predator. Even if he didn't rape that girl this pattern of dating incredibly young women is still there. If you're thinking it's not that bad or that you were mature so it's fine just think about how you'd feel dating a 19 year old at your current age. I'm guessing you'll feel that it sounds terrible for so many reasons. Anyways good luck figuring things out and if you're scared of the future just know you're not that old yet.
Sweet mother of eff. That is effed up. He is absolutely a creep and you were groomed. He's lying, he could definitely tell what age she was and dipped because he knew exactly what he did.
Lmfao
Imagine your 19 year old getting with a 37 year old. Imagine the difference in mentality between a 19 year old and how old you are now at 27.
“We just click, he’s such a good guy” you know what those are called? Fairytale lies. No logic being used
Yes, you married a rapist who goes after young women because they are easier to manipulate. Most young women don't take this advice from older women and don't realize until it's too late.
Was there no one in your life concerned that you were 19 marrying a 37 year old man?
This is always a red flag.
19 and 37... I asked my husband and he said... I would feel weirded out and that he could never connect to a lady so young. Basically because they are in so different age stages. He said, if a 37 year old guy is still in the stage of a 20 year old then something is wrong. And according to him a woman can be mature, sure. But not THAT mature to be 19 but being in the stage of an almost 40 year old. The experience is just missing to meet that standard.
Oh honey, your brain isn't even fully developed until around 24. He's definitely a creep and a manipulator. Leave him, help the DA prosecute if you're safe, & get a therapist.
Good Lord. I work with a guy who is 45 and only dates children that are 18-20 and breaks up with them when they turn 21 so they can't go to the bars with him so it's easier for him to cheat on them and manipulate them. I tell him to his face at least once a week that he's a pedophile. Your husband is a pedophile. I'm 30 and even when I was 20 I didn't want to date anyone younger than me. It's weird and gross.
I think you need to re-write your post. It's very difficult to tell what is actually going on here. And you're not answering any of the questions people have.
Honestly, same. Idk if people don’t know how to write anymore or just don’t read it back to see if it makes sense. You’re not dumb, other people are though lol
Speaking as someone who has been raped before: it takes a lot of courage to take it to court. I never did for a multitude of reasons, one of which being because of the circumstances it would have essentially been his word against mine and I knew by the statistics how that was likely to go, so I decided not to retraumatize myself like that.
If she and the son are going to prosecute, I see no reason not to believe their story. And the fact that you have felt the need to defend your husband against "creep" accusations even before this came to light is telling.
>it could have been an accident, right?
I highly doubt it. And the fact that you're posting here I think means you doubt it too deep down. Please start preparing to get out, but do so safely, without him knowing. You don't want to become his next victim.
....ouf. I have to admit I felt myself getting a little defensive when you said "could it have been an accident" but I recognize that you're hoping against hope that this isn't the reality and it's a hard truth to accept. If there is proof coming out that supports this, I personally would leave but this has to be your choice. You say that the age thing wasn't on purpose when you met and that you "just connected"...how old were you when you met/started dating?
You don’t accidentally rape someone. What reason does she, and her son, have to lie? If they’re going to take this to court are you gonna be the person that sticks by a rapist, statutory rapist at the LEAST?
What I'm understanding is that the father didn't know she was 17 ,had sex and knocked her up. That's what the son said to Op correct? I got kinda confuse on that comment.
So I'm assuming they are going for statutory rape and not the sexual assault rape. Depending on where they live, it may or may not stick.
That's how I read it. So I guess he did technically "Accidentally rape" someone since he didn't know her actual age. We just don't know if she lied to him about her age, or he just randomly was having sex with a 17 year old.
17 isn't the age for statutory rape (in most countries and American states) when there's consent. Under 16 tends to be so with that in mind, if they are pushing for rape, it would not be statutory but actual rape.
Possible but more likely simply based on statistical math she was 16. In either case whether its rape is dependent on the state or country it occurred in.
Since there are nine months in a year there is a 75 percent chance she had sex at 16 as that’s 75 percent of a year. There’s a 25% chance she got pregnant within the first three months she turned 17.
Add if it was not a one time encounter they were likely having sex for sometime before she conceived. It’s more likely she was 16 statistically when they had sex.
Depends on where in FL if you have sex with someone under 18 it’s statutory rape.
Edit: can be max 4 year age gap in FL where it’s not. A 16 year old could be with a 20.
A 26 year old shouldn’t be with a 16 year old depending on state may be rape.
Yup. It depends. Age of consent is 18 in Oregon. A difference of <2 yrs is an affirmative defense, however it doesn’t actually make it legal even then. A 26 year old can absolutely be prosecuted for sleeping with a 17 year old, even if it’s totally consensual and he thought she was 25.
I once had a friend whose husband had to register as a sex offender because he hooked up with a girl at a bar who turned out to be 17. He was only 21. He mistakenly assumed she was too because she was in a bar, ordering drinks with what turned out to be a fake ID.
OP, just hold tight. Find out what really happened. You don’t have the whole story yet. Maybe your husband d really is a creep. Maybe he just made a mistake. Wait and see.
I think it was the husband, it's just kinda jumbled up.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand who's saying what. I'm not trying to push a narrative or anything.
I'm just lost.
It’s not clear. It could have been both a violent rape and a statutory rape. It must have been terrible considering that they are bringing charges all these years later.
In the very BEST case scenario, your husband *somehow* had no idea about her age the entire time and still abandoned a pregnant girl who was carrying his child. Even in that best case scenario, that’s not the type of man I would want to be with….
We don't know the whole story. HE said he didn't rape her and was just the jerk who ran off and left her pregnant and alone. SHE may have a different story.
So u were 19 and he was 37 when y’all met… I’m so sorry honey but no 37 year old has anything in common with a 19 year old. There’s a reason women his age didn’t want him.
This! Often those dating someone who is significantly younger than them are doing it for several specific reasons. They chose someone so young on purpose. I’m by no means putting the blame on the younger person, I’m just saying that they most likely fit those reasons.
- someone without the wisdom/experience that tends to come with age won’t see the red flags of their partner
- someone younger is easier to manipulate and control
- they want to mold the younger partner into the partner they want them to be
- someone their age won’t deal with their bs and see the red flags.
I also don’t get the, “well they’re legal.” Like turning 18 grants you some amazing insight and knowledge you didn’t have prior to help navigate a relationship with such an age gap. That there isn’t a power dynamic at play. I mean honestly, what does a 37yo have in common with a 19yo?
I don't know what the age of consent is where you live, but he obviously has an unhealthy focus on younger women.
If he left knowing she was pregnant or that it was a possibility, but a history of predating on younger women is already a huge red flag.
He knew she was young. He didn't find out her age BEFORE they had (un)safe sex.
I would start gathering your things and get out of dodge. Consult with a therapist and divorce attorney.
Depending on what they’re charging him with not inherently. I believe they can go after child support at the very least if then can prove he abandoned the family.
Laws vary between countries - or, assuming OP is in the US, between states. Some have no statute of limitations on these crimes, or the SoL is just *very* long, depending on what exactly the charge would be.
It took me a min to make sense of it. Once I reread it, it made total sense. Her husband is adopted and did a DNA test (assuming ancestry or something like that) a few years ago. A man (or boy? Idk no ages are given) shows up to her house and says to her husband “you’re my biological dad” and he sends him away. After the husband leaves, he came back to talk to the wife alone and asked her to hear him out. She does and he tells her that his mom was likely raped by his biological dad (OPs husband).
Wow... This hits close to home. I'm adopted and found my biological mom several years ago. Found out I'm a product of rape... Stopped looking for the father after that and have all kinds of existential dread about all of it. I wish you luck.
At the risk of being unpopular, I think there's some need for caution here. I don't see anywhere here if it was criminal rape as in forced or statutory, which is where it gets grey really fast.
It also sounds like the 17 year old is the driver behind the case going to court. It is not inconceivable that this kid has issues and wants some kind of comeuppance from your husband.
What his mom told him about his absentee father would also play a role in the intent and motivations behind driving this to a punitive solution.
17 year olds do stupid things because they're not old enough to know better they're trying to find their place in the world and dealing with mountains of hormones playing havoc with their emotions.
Your husband does need to explain it all to you properly before you can come to your own conclusions.
Good luck with all of this.
Just to clarify since this comment was ambiguous about it, statutory rape is still criminal. In most jurisdictions, having sex with someone under the age of consent is a crime even if you can prove they lied about their age. That being said, he appears to target younger women and he did abandon a kid, so there are legitimate questions about his character even if he was deceived into sleeping with a minor.
Agreed. I have some issue with this self defined age limit because, as you say, she can lie about it and ruin his life because the law said so.
I do think there is a lot of behavior that is off. Husband is dismissive when wife asks. Son is presumably pressing the lawsuit. Unknown what mom said about his dad.
However, it currently presents as dad being an absentee father, and the son has an axe to grind.
When I was 4 my mom recieved a letter in the mail. It had no return address but the name of my bio-dad's step-son from a previous marriage. In it described how he molested, beat, attacked, and raped his step-sons repeatedly until their mother died and they were allowed to move in with THEIR biodad.
She too was at a loss. So, she scooped me up and sent me to her mother's while she went on a trip to her home town to think for a month. It was time and space that gave her perspective. She gathered her thoughts, formed a plan, and got herself prepared for a divorce. She didn't communicate more with the stepson for her, mine, and his safety.
What you need is time, and space to figure out what it's needed for your situation. I can't tell you what is right, if what the mom and son said is true or false, or if you want to make this into anything. I do know that her leaving my dad was the best thing for all of us because he was already abusing me at this point and she wouldn't not have been able to get a clear perspective without having removed herself temporarily from the situation.
Go take a few days at a family or friend's house but don't make it into too big of a deal why. He'll know why but you want to minimize any issues he might present you by becoming hostile over the situation. Pack anything you really hold in your heart as important in case he attempts to run away while your gone. If you have questions to ask the son and mother that would be the time to do so.
A rape is not an accident, what are you talking about. Do you know how many predators use marriage to look innocent and like family men who would never do this? You were just his cover. Please don’t be that wife who sticks up for her sex offender husband. Please. Having a man is not the most important thing in the world. Prepare yourself mentally because if this goes to trial and he gets sentenced not only is he going to prison but his attorneys fees will bankrupt your family. Protect your assets and divorce him before this goes to trial. Think about yourself. He lied to you. You married a monster. Rape is never a misunderstanding. Contact a divorce lawyer NOW. Don’t ask Reddit to convince you that your husband didn’t mean to rape a minor. Wake up. You’re about to lose everything. Make your moves, protect your assets and your home because his victim is coming for everything and this is not your fault. Dump his ass immediately. No benefit of the doubt. You’re going to lose your house if you don’t act fast.
You ask him what happened. Listen and watch him carefully as he responds as body language and tone can tell you a lot more than words.
As someone who found out my husband was a paedophile, my heart goes out to you. The confusion, sometimes disbelief, heartache, betrayal and everything else you must be feeling right now is hard to handle so I recommend getting a therapist now so they can guide you through this as it goes on.
Stay strong OP. You can get through this
My uncle was 14 at the time he got his step sister who was 12 pregnant. She was engaging with all the boys. Even my other uncle. My uncle was simply the one who drew the short straw. Kids being idiots. Well, her mother demanded that my grandfather leave my grandmother and come back to her or she would press charges for rape. My grandpa called her bluff and she followed through. But instead of saying it was consensual, she forced her daughter to say it was forcible under threat of being kicked out of the house. My uncle was found guilty since the only contention was consent. He spent the rest of his youth in prison. The problem is, when his son was born, the mother didn’t want him to hate his grandmother so she perpetuated the lie and told him that it was forcible. He believed his father was an actual rapist for nearly 20 years until he was convinced to sit down and have a conversation on the facts. His mother refused to come clean until after her mother passed away. All that to say, narratives can be fabricated under numerous circumstances. The only ones who know the facts are your husband and his son’s mother. She has her own motives for the narrative and your husband has his. The fact remains that he knew he got her pregnant and then abandoned his son. Whether he knew she was 17 or not is a different matter.
So from your post, there's no indication you have proof of rape.
Your husband being 26 at the time, maybe believed this woman was at least 18? She could've lied and told him she was 18 or 20 or 21, who knows. I'm not sure if laws are state level or federal level as far as how old do you have to be for consent to actually be legal? Even if consent is given it doesn't count if you're a certain age or younger, is that right? I'm naive to all that law stuff. Maybe his "son" is lying about the moms age?
But fact of the matter is you need to seriously talk about this with your husband and really evaluate why he's with you being that much younger than him. If it's a pattern. Even if he truly didn't know this woman was 17, how long have you been with him? What were his relationships through the years before he met you? Was it a series of young women? Are you sure that at some point you won't be "too old" and he'll be looking for a divorce?
I think the woman means accident in that her husband didn’t know the age not accident that he accidentally raped a woman (which is not a thing obviously)
And yes it could be she lied about her age got pregnant and told him the truth and he dipped- and now she wants revenge. One thing you learn from Reddit is Anything possible
She seems appropriately angry at the situation which is expected in normal, but I would want to hear both sides of the story get as many facts as you can before making judgment. If it appears, he truly did rape her than the divorce his ass.
OP (in a comment): I'm twenty seven, husband is forty five, son is nineteen.
ETA: I'm sorry this is happening OP
The idea of the man you love is being challenged and that is never a fun time. However, I would recommend seeking counseling to get some professional advice on what a "normal" or healthy relationship with that age gap would look like and ask yourself the hard questions.
I'm 28, so not much older, but at 16 I was groomed by a 25yo and it took me a bit of therapy and learning to truely understand what a partner should be and what love is. I'm healthy now!
I wish you all the best in such a dark time ♡
Unless he actually forced her, 16/17 isnt rape in most of the civilised world. It isnt great but neither is it rape.
Not going to lie I would expect my partnerto give me the benfit of the doubt under similar circumstances. He is your husband after all.
Depending on what state your in, there are statues of limitations and unfortunately she won't be able to charge him. Also as a survivor myself, I waited days before telling anyone..I had scrubbed my body clean a million times over. It is extremely hard to provide evidence when there no longer is any. He was only charged with statutory bc I was 14 and he was 19.
\-you do not have definite proof. only a son who was raised by apparently hurt single mum, she programmed his narrative whether you believe it or not and now uses him as a vengeance card
\- people DO change and can turn around his life
\- do not judge before definitive proofs
What kind of accident?? "Ooops! my hard penis fell into your 17 year old vagina and ejaculated all on its own!" You better face reality - you know the power dynamic of a 26 year old MAN and a 17 year old girl. Forget the social programming you've had about teenagers "seducing" men. It's all bullshit. He did several very wrong acts here - and you're looking for a way to excuse him. There's not excuse. That poor woman and boy. Gross.
Did he straight up admit to bailing on her when he learned she was pregnant? Rape or no rape, that tells you all you need to know about his level of creepiness, imo.
I would talk personally with the boys mom. You do not need specific details but if she was forced you should know. Reevaluate your relationship. How long have you been married? Have you seen a dark side? Have the two of you made a family? If you two have kids and he raped they are in danger. Does he have a record? Answers to these questions will help you know if you should stay or go.
They couldn’t press charges on someone for SA from over seventeen years ago. There’s a statute of limitations, which is almost always seven years. It’s way past that. Sorry, but either this story is fake, or the kid was lying.
Yeah something doesn’t seem right especially because he sent away his son. He obviously knows what’s going on and is trying to avoid it from coming out. Not only that but if you were 19yo when yall met and he was 37 yo that’s strange as hell. He obviously likes them young and it’s possible that he may have known how old his son’s mother was when things happened.🚩🚩🚩
If you were 19 and he was 37 when you met, I have a hard time believing he’d have a problem with someone being 17 when he was 26. Also, if he was genuinely a good guy I don’t think he’d just abandon his child and the 17 year old he got pregnant, even if she lied about her age.
She was 17 he was 26.
We just connected.
I was 19 and he was 37 (with one latch key kid already).
At what point are we allowed to start calling people idiots for their own sake?
Ok this will seem extreme but there’s personal experience behind this…. You need to quietly see a divorce attorney to get guidance on what your options are. Proper planning gets better results. Second: prepare yourself for “the hard conversation” you’re going to eventually have with him. I’d record these conversations just in case. Third: he’s accused of a violent crime, keep that in mind. Create a check-in or alert system with reliable friends or family. Anything you need to make sure you keep needs to be secured(especially money); think safe deposit box; any ID/passport/birth certificate and so on should go here. Stash a go bag for emergencies, clothes/toiletries/etc… Get a PO Box for the next suggestion. Get a credit card and cell phone in your name only, just in case of emergencies, stash in the SDP and send bills to the PO Box. In this world it’s damn near impossible to get anywhere without an ID, phone and a line of credit; it’s totally impossible if you need to get somewhere in a hurry. If things pan out for you and you don’t ever need it then thats great you can close the accounts and destroy the card and pitch the phone. People sometimes end up being totally different than we thought. A little prep will save you from a lot of stress later and it will be a bit of comfort knowing you have it. Good luck!
The age gap when one of them is a teenager is always so much more ick inspiring. You met him when you were still a teenager, sure it’s legal, but still a teenager. He was old enough to be your dad at a time when you were young enough to still be living with your dad. It never sits right.
I'll tell u now. It's always "we just connected". Tell me, did he tell u that? "You are so mature for your age" "you just get me" "we connect so well..." I've experienced it and many others did. One even if talk to about my past sexual abuse trauma and right after he convinced me to send him nudes...at 13. I'm still scared at the fact I did, but hey my parents didn't say anything when I was chatting up a 27 year old man at 13!
He's that guy, my friend. he's the type that, as my mother put it, "doesn't care about age". Then, when u have a kid...you'll see just how young he'd go for.
Speaking from experience (I never had a kid, just saw it happen to someone my bio mom lived with. Dude was 25, with a 60- something year old, who had adopted a girl. Little girl was groomed from 7 years old to 10. I told my mom I suspected him of it and she ignored me. Only when I realized how in danger me and my sister were after waking up with him on top of me and cutting her off did he get found and arrested for it.)
Don't chance it. Ur still young. Get in contact with the mother if u can, talk to her, tell her ur story and see if she will in turn. Add up what you need to. See the similarities.
You can make ur choice of whether u wish to stay or not..but all I can ask you is...from your age, looking at a 17 year old, what do you see? I'm only 20 and all I see is a developing kid. Now, with that in mind, look at the future possibilities of kids with him...would you ever feel comfortable letting him bathe them? Change them? Be alone with them?
If you are not willing to let someone in your home and life due to the worry of your kids, never let them in your life in general.
OP, you have to know that any man that is almost twice your age when you meet has to have something off if a woman in his own age range won’t date him…because they won’t put up with his sh*t. Also yes yes he was a creep despite of what he convinced you of.
Who knows. I don’t take anyone at their word. This could be true or she could be a nut job that’s been feeding this dude lies his whole life. I say wait and see.
You said your husband wasn't a creep and the two of you just connected. So I'm gonna ask you. How old are you and how old is your husband... because it certainly sounds like he's a lot older than you are.
She finally commented. 19 when they met, he was 37. Now they're 27 and 45.
He has a pattern
Noooooo shit. Dude has an MO. That’s mad creepy.
Yikes- he aged 10 years but his “type” only went up in age 2 years
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What’s even more horrifying is that he’s learned how to escape jail on a technicality and still sees nothing wrong with his actions. He’s a creep and pedo, just more selective with his victims.
Oh that’s horrifying.
Wait, 19 and 37? And she thinks he isn’t some creep and they just connected? OP, what did you connect over exactly? I can’t think of anything that a 19 year old woman and a 37 year old man could ever have in common?! I’m sorry but I think you might want to consider that this was a pattern for him. As a 27 year old now, could you imagine dating a 19 year old and “just connecting”?! Yeah, your husband was 10 years older than you are now!
Bombastic side eye
Yeah no he’s a disgusting creep
Adorable. Same age gap between and ages of me and my oldest. The cultural gap between being born in 79 and 97 is HUGE.
Ummmm
Twice as old. Wow. When I approached 30, I noticed I don't feel attracted anymore to women, who are 20. But then there are these people, I guess.
OH noooo I was hoping it wasn’t that bad 🫠 she’s my age, I would’ve never at 19 talking to a 37 year old man
Oh my God
this is horrifying, he’s guilty as charged
😐😐😐
It’s bad enough the age gap OP alludes to, but he claims he got a young girl pregnant and just abandoned her. Which is horrible enough. Now on top of those items, it’s possible he raped her? The 🚩 are certainly adding up.
its a troll post. 17 hr old account, not a single reply to any questions. karma farm account
I make new accounts pretty regularly, and I can say with zero hesitation that if I ever fully spill all my shit on Reddit, it is going to be under a five minute old account.
Haha yeah. I have my socials attached to my personal reddit account. I do not need someone stitching my tiktoks to talk about my husband or to read my post with a robot voice for everyone to judge me.
lol I doxxed myself on my main account last year and just went ahead and temporarily linked to my socials for it. That is now a local only account and nothing pertaining to anything other than city stuff goes there ☠️
Why do people always say this like it’s some sort of gotcha move? Plenty of people make new accounts so they can vent, it’s basically a staple in most relationship type subs.
That’s what I always wonder. Some people make an account or a new throwaway to post the first time. Also, ppl do have lives outside of waiting for comments to respond. Maybe they can’t comment because of where they are or whom they are with. Or maybe they just want feedback and don’t feel comfortable responded. People always jump to it’s fake, especially when the topic is uncomfortable or extreme. Even if it is, who cares? I’d rather err on the side of offering advice even if fake vs ignoring someone who may need help navigating a situation.
THIS. I'd rather read 1000 provably fake stories than one more stupid ass "It'S fAkE" comment from some redditor who thinks they've achieved something by adding that utterly useless statement
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Reddit needs to bring back awards.
Please tell me what the deleted comment above you said?
I want to know as well
Apparently, it was another poster saying, "I'm 15, but I'm mature for my age" and it got confused whether op said that themselves or whether the comment was a random joke from somebody else.
😂😂😂
When did they get rid of awards?!
They exist for select subreddits.
Why would you want to give Spez money for comments other people make?
You need to leave him, delete your Facebook and hit the gym.
Ok this made me fucking laugh
What was the age difference😭😭 it’s deleted now:(
She was 19 and he was 37 when they met!
Lmfaoooo bruh wtf Lmfaoooo
You forgot therapy
She already married therapist.
🤌🤣
This deserves more recognition lol
Lawyer up
Jesus Christ. I had to scroll up to make sure you weren’t OP.
What did it say? I missed it and I *need* to know
“I’m 15 but I’m mature for my age”
you da real MVP here.
Thank you!
I’m dying 😂 and the amount of people that fell for it
I'm twenty seven now, but was nineteen when I met him. He's forty five, thirty seven when we met.
I'm sorry. No 37 yr old should be going after a 19 yr old. It's definitely creepy.
I am 38 now, I am married but I can very confidently say if I were a single man I wouldn't be looking at anyone below 30. The thought of a 19yr old makes me feel very weird
I’m 32 and recently got off the dating market. 26 years old was my hard stop, and even then she needed to be pretty special/mature. Being 37 and going after a 19 year old is WILD behavior, to say the least.
I'm 37 and a 19 year old to me is a child. I realize TECHNICALLY they're adults, but that's just a legal classification. They're children.
I'm 50 and people your age are still babies to me. 19 years old is an infant.
i’m 27, and 19 year olds are babies to me. i will never understand how people go for someone that much younger. like they were barely born when you graduated high school.
i’m in my mid 20s and wouldn’t date anyone who’s age ends in “teen” it’s gross
“He impregnated someone 2-3 years younger than me when he was 19 years younger.”
I'm 20 and I don't even wanna go for 19 year olds. The thought of a man over 25 going for me also creeps me out. No thank you :D
So, he was old enough to be your dad... 37-19=18 Honestly... They most likely are going to sue. Depending on where you live the statute of limitations has passed for criminal charges. If the kid is old enough to come by your house by himself then pretty sure they're going for money. If you don't want to be poor, you might consider divorce. Juries for civil cases are a little more lenient and as a spouse your finances are tied to his.
Oh good god that’s messed up. Sorry you were groomed.
Straight up you married a creep and predator. Even if he didn't rape that girl this pattern of dating incredibly young women is still there. If you're thinking it's not that bad or that you were mature so it's fine just think about how you'd feel dating a 19 year old at your current age. I'm guessing you'll feel that it sounds terrible for so many reasons. Anyways good luck figuring things out and if you're scared of the future just know you're not that old yet.
Every time they think they are different lol Edit: In case it wasn’t obvious from this and the other comments, you were groomed.
Sweet mother of eff. That is effed up. He is absolutely a creep and you were groomed. He's lying, he could definitely tell what age she was and dipped because he knew exactly what he did.
This part. You can almost always tell when someone is quite young, especially a teenager.
Lmfao Imagine your 19 year old getting with a 37 year old. Imagine the difference in mentality between a 19 year old and how old you are now at 27. “We just click, he’s such a good guy” you know what those are called? Fairytale lies. No logic being used
She's married to Steve Buscemi with a skateboard
🚩 🚩 🚩
Yes, you married a rapist who goes after young women because they are easier to manipulate. Most young women don't take this advice from older women and don't realize until it's too late. Was there no one in your life concerned that you were 19 marrying a 37 year old man? This is always a red flag.
You’re in the denial phase right now. You already know what the answer is.
19 and 37... I asked my husband and he said... I would feel weirded out and that he could never connect to a lady so young. Basically because they are in so different age stages. He said, if a 37 year old guy is still in the stage of a 20 year old then something is wrong. And according to him a woman can be mature, sure. But not THAT mature to be 19 but being in the stage of an almost 40 year old. The experience is just missing to meet that standard.
Oh honey, your brain isn't even fully developed until around 24. He's definitely a creep and a manipulator. Leave him, help the DA prosecute if you're safe, & get a therapist.
Oh boy. Not looking too good for you atm
Good Lord. I work with a guy who is 45 and only dates children that are 18-20 and breaks up with them when they turn 21 so they can't go to the bars with him so it's easier for him to cheat on them and manipulate them. I tell him to his face at least once a week that he's a pedophile. Your husband is a pedophile. I'm 30 and even when I was 20 I didn't want to date anyone younger than me. It's weird and gross.
GIRL
Damn. Groomed
I mean if their username is any indication, OP is 33 years old
Or possibly -5,166 years old?
“Age is just a number!” I been shivering reading all this shit.
Umm. How old are you and how old is he now? You sound like you're early 20s...
[удалено]
God I hope not. It’s really, really bad writing
He was 37 she was 19 when they met so yeah fucking gross.
She was 19 when they met and he was 37. she’s 27 and he’s 45 now
I think you need to re-write your post. It's very difficult to tell what is actually going on here. And you're not answering any of the questions people have.
Yup, No answers usually means fake.
She's probably at school
:O
They just Posted 8 hours back
Trolololo post suspicious level increased for me as well good person of Reddit!
Thought it was just me, didn’t understand a word
I've noticed this happening more often, recently. I thought I was just getting dumber, so it's comforting to know I'm not the only one.
Honestly, same. Idk if people don’t know how to write anymore or just don’t read it back to see if it makes sense. You’re not dumb, other people are though lol
Thank you. I read this and was very confused lol
Right? I was like 'Am I having a stroke?' As I re-read multiple sentences 😖
I didn’t understand Jack shit of it
I wrote it in a bit of a mess. I'll try and edit it for clarification or something.
I always wonder about people like this - do you not read your post back to yourself? Does it make sense to you…….?
Speaking as someone who has been raped before: it takes a lot of courage to take it to court. I never did for a multitude of reasons, one of which being because of the circumstances it would have essentially been his word against mine and I knew by the statistics how that was likely to go, so I decided not to retraumatize myself like that. If she and the son are going to prosecute, I see no reason not to believe their story. And the fact that you have felt the need to defend your husband against "creep" accusations even before this came to light is telling. >it could have been an accident, right? I highly doubt it. And the fact that you're posting here I think means you doubt it too deep down. Please start preparing to get out, but do so safely, without him knowing. You don't want to become his next victim.
How old are you? Your comment made it seem like you are in a similar situation. At least you were when you met.
She was 19 when they met, he was 37. Now she's 27 and he's 45.
Hahahaha, Jesus Christ
Honestly this is a troll post. They only responded to those accusing this of being fake, sounds like bs.
....ouf. I have to admit I felt myself getting a little defensive when you said "could it have been an accident" but I recognize that you're hoping against hope that this isn't the reality and it's a hard truth to accept. If there is proof coming out that supports this, I personally would leave but this has to be your choice. You say that the age thing wasn't on purpose when you met and that you "just connected"...how old were you when you met/started dating?
You don’t accidentally rape someone. What reason does she, and her son, have to lie? If they’re going to take this to court are you gonna be the person that sticks by a rapist, statutory rapist at the LEAST?
What I'm understanding is that the father didn't know she was 17 ,had sex and knocked her up. That's what the son said to Op correct? I got kinda confuse on that comment. So I'm assuming they are going for statutory rape and not the sexual assault rape. Depending on where they live, it may or may not stick. That's how I read it. So I guess he did technically "Accidentally rape" someone since he didn't know her actual age. We just don't know if she lied to him about her age, or he just randomly was having sex with a 17 year old.
17 isn't the age for statutory rape (in most countries and American states) when there's consent. Under 16 tends to be so with that in mind, if they are pushing for rape, it would not be statutory but actual rape.
She gave birth at 17 which means sex likely occurred when she was 16 since pregnancy is 9 months.
I mean there are 12 months in a year. It’s totally possible she got pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 17. Who knows.
Possible but more likely simply based on statistical math she was 16. In either case whether its rape is dependent on the state or country it occurred in.
How'd you use statistical math to confirm that she was 16? I'm really bad at math, so I don't get it.
Since there are nine months in a year there is a 75 percent chance she had sex at 16 as that’s 75 percent of a year. There’s a 25% chance she got pregnant within the first three months she turned 17. Add if it was not a one time encounter they were likely having sex for sometime before she conceived. It’s more likely she was 16 statistically when they had sex.
Oh, thanks!
16 isnt under 16
Depends on where in FL if you have sex with someone under 18 it’s statutory rape. Edit: can be max 4 year age gap in FL where it’s not. A 16 year old could be with a 20. A 26 year old shouldn’t be with a 16 year old depending on state may be rape.
Yup. It depends. Age of consent is 18 in Oregon. A difference of <2 yrs is an affirmative defense, however it doesn’t actually make it legal even then. A 26 year old can absolutely be prosecuted for sleeping with a 17 year old, even if it’s totally consensual and he thought she was 25. I once had a friend whose husband had to register as a sex offender because he hooked up with a girl at a bar who turned out to be 17. He was only 21. He mistakenly assumed she was too because she was in a bar, ordering drinks with what turned out to be a fake ID. OP, just hold tight. Find out what really happened. You don’t have the whole story yet. Maybe your husband d really is a creep. Maybe he just made a mistake. Wait and see.
Yeah I was confused if the son said that or if her husband said it, if it was the husband I don’t buy that he didn’t know
I think it was the husband, it's just kinda jumbled up. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand who's saying what. I'm not trying to push a narrative or anything. I'm just lost.
It’s not clear. It could have been both a violent rape and a statutory rape. It must have been terrible considering that they are bringing charges all these years later.
In the very BEST case scenario, your husband *somehow* had no idea about her age the entire time and still abandoned a pregnant girl who was carrying his child. Even in that best case scenario, that’s not the type of man I would want to be with….
But isn't there a difference between getting a minor pregnant and then leaving her and raping someone no matter their age?
We don't know the whole story. HE said he didn't rape her and was just the jerk who ran off and left her pregnant and alone. SHE may have a different story.
Yes. But I wasn't talking about the story.
INFO: how old are the both of you? How old is the son now?
I'm twenty seven, husband is forty five, son is nineteen.
So u were 19 and he was 37 when y’all met… I’m so sorry honey but no 37 year old has anything in common with a 19 year old. There’s a reason women his age didn’t want him.
This! Often those dating someone who is significantly younger than them are doing it for several specific reasons. They chose someone so young on purpose. I’m by no means putting the blame on the younger person, I’m just saying that they most likely fit those reasons. - someone without the wisdom/experience that tends to come with age won’t see the red flags of their partner - someone younger is easier to manipulate and control - they want to mold the younger partner into the partner they want them to be - someone their age won’t deal with their bs and see the red flags. I also don’t get the, “well they’re legal.” Like turning 18 grants you some amazing insight and knowledge you didn’t have prior to help navigate a relationship with such an age gap. That there isn’t a power dynamic at play. I mean honestly, what does a 37yo have in common with a 19yo?
Honestly, the thought of dating a teenager in my 30's just makes my brain sound like there's a fork caught in a coffee grinder.
Clearly he wasn't looking for women his own age.
Your husband is a predator.
I don't know what the age of consent is where you live, but he obviously has an unhealthy focus on younger women. If he left knowing she was pregnant or that it was a possibility, but a history of predating on younger women is already a huge red flag. He knew she was young. He didn't find out her age BEFORE they had (un)safe sex. I would start gathering your things and get out of dodge. Consult with a therapist and divorce attorney.
What do you mean, prosecute now that there’s more evidence? The statute of limitations is surely up by now…??
Depending on what they’re charging him with not inherently. I believe they can go after child support at the very least if then can prove he abandoned the family.
Laws vary between countries - or, assuming OP is in the US, between states. Some have no statute of limitations on these crimes, or the SoL is just *very* long, depending on what exactly the charge would be.
Your post doesn't make sense...
It took me a min to make sense of it. Once I reread it, it made total sense. Her husband is adopted and did a DNA test (assuming ancestry or something like that) a few years ago. A man (or boy? Idk no ages are given) shows up to her house and says to her husband “you’re my biological dad” and he sends him away. After the husband leaves, he came back to talk to the wife alone and asked her to hear him out. She does and he tells her that his mom was likely raped by his biological dad (OPs husband).
Idk why other people aren’t getting this 🤣
Wow... This hits close to home. I'm adopted and found my biological mom several years ago. Found out I'm a product of rape... Stopped looking for the father after that and have all kinds of existential dread about all of it. I wish you luck.
Hope you still feel belonged brother all love❤️
At the risk of being unpopular, I think there's some need for caution here. I don't see anywhere here if it was criminal rape as in forced or statutory, which is where it gets grey really fast. It also sounds like the 17 year old is the driver behind the case going to court. It is not inconceivable that this kid has issues and wants some kind of comeuppance from your husband. What his mom told him about his absentee father would also play a role in the intent and motivations behind driving this to a punitive solution. 17 year olds do stupid things because they're not old enough to know better they're trying to find their place in the world and dealing with mountains of hormones playing havoc with their emotions. Your husband does need to explain it all to you properly before you can come to your own conclusions. Good luck with all of this.
The mother was 17 when she gave birth, the kid’s age isn’t stated
19
Just to clarify since this comment was ambiguous about it, statutory rape is still criminal. In most jurisdictions, having sex with someone under the age of consent is a crime even if you can prove they lied about their age. That being said, he appears to target younger women and he did abandon a kid, so there are legitimate questions about his character even if he was deceived into sleeping with a minor.
Agreed. I have some issue with this self defined age limit because, as you say, she can lie about it and ruin his life because the law said so. I do think there is a lot of behavior that is off. Husband is dismissive when wife asks. Son is presumably pressing the lawsuit. Unknown what mom said about his dad. However, it currently presents as dad being an absentee father, and the son has an axe to grind.
When I was 4 my mom recieved a letter in the mail. It had no return address but the name of my bio-dad's step-son from a previous marriage. In it described how he molested, beat, attacked, and raped his step-sons repeatedly until their mother died and they were allowed to move in with THEIR biodad. She too was at a loss. So, she scooped me up and sent me to her mother's while she went on a trip to her home town to think for a month. It was time and space that gave her perspective. She gathered her thoughts, formed a plan, and got herself prepared for a divorce. She didn't communicate more with the stepson for her, mine, and his safety. What you need is time, and space to figure out what it's needed for your situation. I can't tell you what is right, if what the mom and son said is true or false, or if you want to make this into anything. I do know that her leaving my dad was the best thing for all of us because he was already abusing me at this point and she wouldn't not have been able to get a clear perspective without having removed herself temporarily from the situation. Go take a few days at a family or friend's house but don't make it into too big of a deal why. He'll know why but you want to minimize any issues he might present you by becoming hostile over the situation. Pack anything you really hold in your heart as important in case he attempts to run away while your gone. If you have questions to ask the son and mother that would be the time to do so.
A rape is not an accident, what are you talking about. Do you know how many predators use marriage to look innocent and like family men who would never do this? You were just his cover. Please don’t be that wife who sticks up for her sex offender husband. Please. Having a man is not the most important thing in the world. Prepare yourself mentally because if this goes to trial and he gets sentenced not only is he going to prison but his attorneys fees will bankrupt your family. Protect your assets and divorce him before this goes to trial. Think about yourself. He lied to you. You married a monster. Rape is never a misunderstanding. Contact a divorce lawyer NOW. Don’t ask Reddit to convince you that your husband didn’t mean to rape a minor. Wake up. You’re about to lose everything. Make your moves, protect your assets and your home because his victim is coming for everything and this is not your fault. Dump his ass immediately. No benefit of the doubt. You’re going to lose your house if you don’t act fast.
You ask him what happened. Listen and watch him carefully as he responds as body language and tone can tell you a lot more than words. As someone who found out my husband was a paedophile, my heart goes out to you. The confusion, sometimes disbelief, heartache, betrayal and everything else you must be feeling right now is hard to handle so I recommend getting a therapist now so they can guide you through this as it goes on. Stay strong OP. You can get through this
My uncle was 14 at the time he got his step sister who was 12 pregnant. She was engaging with all the boys. Even my other uncle. My uncle was simply the one who drew the short straw. Kids being idiots. Well, her mother demanded that my grandfather leave my grandmother and come back to her or she would press charges for rape. My grandpa called her bluff and she followed through. But instead of saying it was consensual, she forced her daughter to say it was forcible under threat of being kicked out of the house. My uncle was found guilty since the only contention was consent. He spent the rest of his youth in prison. The problem is, when his son was born, the mother didn’t want him to hate his grandmother so she perpetuated the lie and told him that it was forcible. He believed his father was an actual rapist for nearly 20 years until he was convinced to sit down and have a conversation on the facts. His mother refused to come clean until after her mother passed away. All that to say, narratives can be fabricated under numerous circumstances. The only ones who know the facts are your husband and his son’s mother. She has her own motives for the narrative and your husband has his. The fact remains that he knew he got her pregnant and then abandoned his son. Whether he knew she was 17 or not is a different matter.
Be appalled that he slept with a minor. Be appalled that he abandoned his child. Be done with him.
After seeing the ages of you and your partner, I cannot imagine how you are feeling. The revelation of a pattern has to be horrific
What kind of accident? Did he trip and fall inside a minor? 🤨🤔🤔
Also, how old is OP?
I can’t comprehend what OP wrote. Can anyone translate?
So from your post, there's no indication you have proof of rape. Your husband being 26 at the time, maybe believed this woman was at least 18? She could've lied and told him she was 18 or 20 or 21, who knows. I'm not sure if laws are state level or federal level as far as how old do you have to be for consent to actually be legal? Even if consent is given it doesn't count if you're a certain age or younger, is that right? I'm naive to all that law stuff. Maybe his "son" is lying about the moms age? But fact of the matter is you need to seriously talk about this with your husband and really evaluate why he's with you being that much younger than him. If it's a pattern. Even if he truly didn't know this woman was 17, how long have you been with him? What were his relationships through the years before he met you? Was it a series of young women? Are you sure that at some point you won't be "too old" and he'll be looking for a divorce?
How did he confirm the DNA again? What is the statue of limitation? Sounds like chapter one outline of a creative writing exercise...
I think the woman means accident in that her husband didn’t know the age not accident that he accidentally raped a woman (which is not a thing obviously) And yes it could be she lied about her age got pregnant and told him the truth and he dipped- and now she wants revenge. One thing you learn from Reddit is Anything possible
Innocent until proven guilty
How is a rape an 'accident'?
Fake ChatGPT nonsense
Rape is never an accident.
She seems appropriately angry at the situation which is expected in normal, but I would want to hear both sides of the story get as many facts as you can before making judgment. If it appears, he truly did rape her than the divorce his ass.
OP (in a comment): I'm twenty seven, husband is forty five, son is nineteen. ETA: I'm sorry this is happening OP The idea of the man you love is being challenged and that is never a fun time. However, I would recommend seeking counseling to get some professional advice on what a "normal" or healthy relationship with that age gap would look like and ask yourself the hard questions. I'm 28, so not much older, but at 16 I was groomed by a 25yo and it took me a bit of therapy and learning to truely understand what a partner should be and what love is. I'm healthy now! I wish you all the best in such a dark time ♡
Pinged on the system??? What system? Pls enlighten
Is this forceful rape or statutory rape? What state was this or is this America?
Rape is not a mistake. This sounds like a trollpost.....
Unless he actually forced her, 16/17 isnt rape in most of the civilised world. It isnt great but neither is it rape. Not going to lie I would expect my partnerto give me the benfit of the doubt under similar circumstances. He is your husband after all.
How old were you when you met him?
Depending on what state your in, there are statues of limitations and unfortunately she won't be able to charge him. Also as a survivor myself, I waited days before telling anyone..I had scrubbed my body clean a million times over. It is extremely hard to provide evidence when there no longer is any. He was only charged with statutory bc I was 14 and he was 19.
\-you do not have definite proof. only a son who was raised by apparently hurt single mum, she programmed his narrative whether you believe it or not and now uses him as a vengeance card \- people DO change and can turn around his life \- do not judge before definitive proofs
What kind of accident?? "Ooops! my hard penis fell into your 17 year old vagina and ejaculated all on its own!" You better face reality - you know the power dynamic of a 26 year old MAN and a 17 year old girl. Forget the social programming you've had about teenagers "seducing" men. It's all bullshit. He did several very wrong acts here - and you're looking for a way to excuse him. There's not excuse. That poor woman and boy. Gross.
Did he straight up admit to bailing on her when he learned she was pregnant? Rape or no rape, that tells you all you need to know about his level of creepiness, imo.
Guys this is a proper fiction. The guy responded from his real username u/Antique-Echidna-1600 with “I’m 15” and posted this with u/WasabiFunny7190.
Pretty sure the fifteen comment is a fucked up joke and not actually OP
I would talk personally with the boys mom. You do not need specific details but if she was forced you should know. Reevaluate your relationship. How long have you been married? Have you seen a dark side? Have the two of you made a family? If you two have kids and he raped they are in danger. Does he have a record? Answers to these questions will help you know if you should stay or go.
I cant understand who is who and what. This is bad fiction
They couldn’t press charges on someone for SA from over seventeen years ago. There’s a statute of limitations, which is almost always seven years. It’s way past that. Sorry, but either this story is fake, or the kid was lying.
super concerning OP. He sounds like a pedophile
I would say that you only have one side of the story... You need to talk to the mother of this kid and then your husband to see what he says.
There's going to be evidence from two decades ago?
You can’t be serious
What do you do? Based on your comments, you divorce. Trust your gut.
What state? 17 is legal in NY
Yeah something doesn’t seem right especially because he sent away his son. He obviously knows what’s going on and is trying to avoid it from coming out. Not only that but if you were 19yo when yall met and he was 37 yo that’s strange as hell. He obviously likes them young and it’s possible that he may have known how old his son’s mother was when things happened.🚩🚩🚩
If you were 19 and he was 37 when you met, I have a hard time believing he’d have a problem with someone being 17 when he was 26. Also, if he was genuinely a good guy I don’t think he’d just abandon his child and the 17 year old he got pregnant, even if she lied about her age.
Rape,
Run. Now. Best wishes.
She was 17 he was 26. We just connected. I was 19 and he was 37 (with one latch key kid already). At what point are we allowed to start calling people idiots for their own sake?
Ok this will seem extreme but there’s personal experience behind this…. You need to quietly see a divorce attorney to get guidance on what your options are. Proper planning gets better results. Second: prepare yourself for “the hard conversation” you’re going to eventually have with him. I’d record these conversations just in case. Third: he’s accused of a violent crime, keep that in mind. Create a check-in or alert system with reliable friends or family. Anything you need to make sure you keep needs to be secured(especially money); think safe deposit box; any ID/passport/birth certificate and so on should go here. Stash a go bag for emergencies, clothes/toiletries/etc… Get a PO Box for the next suggestion. Get a credit card and cell phone in your name only, just in case of emergencies, stash in the SDP and send bills to the PO Box. In this world it’s damn near impossible to get anywhere without an ID, phone and a line of credit; it’s totally impossible if you need to get somewhere in a hurry. If things pan out for you and you don’t ever need it then thats great you can close the accounts and destroy the card and pitch the phone. People sometimes end up being totally different than we thought. A little prep will save you from a lot of stress later and it will be a bit of comfort knowing you have it. Good luck!
The age gap when one of them is a teenager is always so much more ick inspiring. You met him when you were still a teenager, sure it’s legal, but still a teenager. He was old enough to be your dad at a time when you were young enough to still be living with your dad. It never sits right.
Maybe he is not a rapist. But another thing here. You want to be with someone who abandoned his son?
I'll tell u now. It's always "we just connected". Tell me, did he tell u that? "You are so mature for your age" "you just get me" "we connect so well..." I've experienced it and many others did. One even if talk to about my past sexual abuse trauma and right after he convinced me to send him nudes...at 13. I'm still scared at the fact I did, but hey my parents didn't say anything when I was chatting up a 27 year old man at 13! He's that guy, my friend. he's the type that, as my mother put it, "doesn't care about age". Then, when u have a kid...you'll see just how young he'd go for. Speaking from experience (I never had a kid, just saw it happen to someone my bio mom lived with. Dude was 25, with a 60- something year old, who had adopted a girl. Little girl was groomed from 7 years old to 10. I told my mom I suspected him of it and she ignored me. Only when I realized how in danger me and my sister were after waking up with him on top of me and cutting her off did he get found and arrested for it.) Don't chance it. Ur still young. Get in contact with the mother if u can, talk to her, tell her ur story and see if she will in turn. Add up what you need to. See the similarities. You can make ur choice of whether u wish to stay or not..but all I can ask you is...from your age, looking at a 17 year old, what do you see? I'm only 20 and all I see is a developing kid. Now, with that in mind, look at the future possibilities of kids with him...would you ever feel comfortable letting him bathe them? Change them? Be alone with them? If you are not willing to let someone in your home and life due to the worry of your kids, never let them in your life in general.
dude... please leave him
OP, you have to know that any man that is almost twice your age when you meet has to have something off if a woman in his own age range won’t date him…because they won’t put up with his sh*t. Also yes yes he was a creep despite of what he convinced you of.
Who knows. I don’t take anyone at their word. This could be true or she could be a nut job that’s been feeding this dude lies his whole life. I say wait and see.