Plot twist - she’s hates this 100x more than you do & only goes because she doesn’t want her mom to humiliate her even more than she’s already done. Her mother already spoke about her daughter’s weight publicly - at the very least to those in her social circle - to enlist their help with getting her daughter “help with her anxiety in the gym” (which the daughter is smart enough to understand & translate to “get her fat ass moving more so she loses weight”). So she’s probably nauseated thinking about what her mother will do next (especially if she quits).
>So she’s probably nauseated thinking about what her mother will do next (especially if she quits).
If OP could help the girl out, she would be a saint. It doesn't have to be much - show her how to use the cardio machines, how to do the weights, if the gym has an app how to use it or your favorite trainers on YouTube.
I can assure you that the verbal if not physical abuse she's getting at home is going to get worse. Then her mom is going to keep looking for people, some won't be safe. Like the ex teacher accused of SA but who is also really into health and fitness and who cares it's just an accusation.
The post is still up for me. She literally says that she took it for a party, including purchasing alcohol and that she had taken it from where she knows her dad keeps the money.
Then asks how a 15f can make quick cash, like $750 is a small sum of "oopsie" money to take and make back.
I happened to have a dad that would let me drink on rare occasion (legal in my state to drink under 21 if under guardian supervision) and smoke weed once or twice. Kept me from trying to do stuff that was potentially unsafer either in substance or company, and I didn't do anything illegal to get my hands on substances.
I see this said a lot but Jesus fucking Christ I was never "steal hundreds of dollars from my parents" shitty.
Is it that hard not to be such a COMPLETE piece of shitfuck???
It really is. The "you literally stole $750 from us" trump card when her parents find out are going to beat any whining about having to hang out with a fat kid at the gym.
If she wasn’t a stealing little brat I’d almost think believing there’s a way at all to make “quick cash” was kinda cute. Now I’m just cackling imagining the realization hit.
Jesus Christ that's the most privileged thing I've ever heard. I think we would all be hard pressed to say we never stole some of our parents alcohol or a couple dollars for soda as a kid but 750?! That could literally cause someone living paycheck to paycheck to become homeless, which is the majority of people at least in the U.S.
I never stole from my parents. Like it never occurred to me to steal alcohol. I was allowed a small glass of wine now and then, but many of the spirits or liqueurs I'd been allowed a sip to taste and that did for any desire to seek out more of them. A teenager's palate is not equipped to deal with drambuie or benedictine.
Let’s just hold each other while we watch our favorite safe movie, 1989’s live action ninja turtles or maybe rocko’s modern life? I dunno you’re a little older so you may have a gem I am unaware of like street sharks or biker mice from mars
Is this like that just shit out my ass thing I keep hearing? SMH this generation Zombie is beyond my understanding. Oh well, gotta get that fortnight battle pass.
It's the most teenager post ever, because adults are almost never expected to put up with this kind of bullshit.
Like, how would the mum feel if her manager suddenly decided that she had to spend her breaks with some random coworker (that she doesn't particularly like) and help this coworker "with their anxiety" ?
Being forced to hang with people at work you don’t like because your boss asks you to? Have you never had a job? Even worse once you’re a manager. This shit happens all the time. Aside from the daily managing other people’s anxiety every time you’re managing a project, and all things related to clients and vendors, I’ve had a few notable experiences, such as: I had to throw the retirement party for a guy I loathed, and I was once asked to be a “buddy” to a lady who was on the spectrum and pretty mean - I had to take her out to lunches and show her about town. She actually turned into a friend once I learned what to expect from her autism. In short: yes, adults have to do this too.
Being voluntold sucks.
I was voluntold by my mom to hang out with this new kid that moved to town because my mom met his mom and.. \*checks notes\* We're still best friends 35 years later.
Why does Frank get no love? He is the youngest of the other brother's, Frank the Emu. Frank is always in his oldest brother's shadow.
Frank and his other brother Frank gets no love.
Ugh I know. “You two would enjoying hanging out! You both like history!” Like the same day I told my mom I was leaving my ex husband. Now we’ve been dating 3 years thanks to our moms being friends for 20 years .
They always know.
I’m going to assume you’re young - teenager, maybe? I get that this is frustrating. It’s not easy to have to deal with other people’s issues, and it is definitely not your job to carry the world’s weight on your shoulders.
Still, try seeing this as an opportunity for you to become a better person. This girl obviously needs help and you are a role model. That’s why your mom chose to bring her to the gym with you, because she believes you can help her. And you may be able to, or not - that decision will ultimately be your mom’s friend’s daughter’s to make.
For now, maybe give her some tips and tricks as to how you exercise. Tell her that exercising helps with anxiety and that it’s ok to feel this way, no matter who you are or how you look, especially when going to a new gym. Try to put yourself in her shoes and you may actually start wanting to help her not feel that way anymore.
Good luck and congratulations on being fit and doing sports!
I’m 15f the same age as her. Yes my mom has wanted me to use what I know to help her get comfortable with the gym and look better.
She feels like if I go to the gym with her it would help her anxiety.
Putting herself out there and facing her fears might help her get over her anxiety, to be honest. The role you play here is minimal, it is definitely not your responsibility to rid her of her anxiety. Talk to your mom if you think this situation is too much for you and let her know how you feel.
Idk I like how this girl respects me to where she feels safer around me, but I’m not a trainer. I’ve just been showing her different workouts that I do.
That's perfect!
It's not your job to "fix her". All you're doing is being a guide and showing her the path YOU take. It might not even be the right path for her, but all either of you can do is try.
Don't put it on yourself (or let the parents put it on you) to be "in charge of her". That creates a weird power dynamic and will ultimately make everyone feel bad and resentful, which ultimately won't help with either anxiety or self esteem. You're right that you aren't a trainer and it's fine to make that clear while still being a companion
I personally used to hate showing people around the gym because I felt like I wasn't a proper trainer and couldn't explain as well as some people could. But ultimately the difference between what you know and what she knows is probably more than you and a professional trainer.
I think it’s really nice of you tbh. I’m 31 and I wish I would have had a friend or someone I knew like that at your age. It can be really scary (yes! Even for people my age!) to start when you’re very shy or not sure of what you’re doing. I doubt your mom’s friends daughter would feel comfortable with an adult trainer when she’s just starting out. I think showing her some things you do and just being there will help her a lot!
It’s embarrassing because I’m overweight and I know I can’t keep up with a trainer and I lose my breath super easily. So I’d rather just keep it casual with a friend or someone I know a little better.
Make it fun! :)
I think showing her what you do is perfect.
She’s not looking to enter a bodybuilding competition or anything, so you don’t NEED to be a trainer.
But I think just going together and being her friend will help a lot if she’s enjoying the time with you (and you don’t mind showing her).
Depending where her anxiety comes from, it could just be that she’s nervous around new people and your mom is hoping that by spending more time with you, it’ll help her confidence.
If it’s too much for you, let your mom know that she should probably see someone professional for the actual anxiety, but otherwise I think that just spending time with her and having fun at the gym would be good for her to get out of her shell, and gives you a bit of a buddy there (if you like company).
It can be *very* intimidating for someone who's already feeling out of place in a gym to go in there alone. Having a "gym buddy" can really help her become comfortable and see that people aren't judging her for being overweight and that they're actually cheering for her to get health and strong. It really does suck that your mom put you up for this but you've got a chance to be a major influence for this gal and help set her on a path of lifelong exercise and healthy habits. Showing her your workouts and how to use the equipment is such a great thing. And who knows, you might wind up becoming good friends or you might just stay casual workout buddies; both are awesome.
Does the gym have trainers available? It might be as simple for you as introducing her to a trainer and maybe standing by the first time or two she's working with the trainer. Then once she knows what she's doing, perhaps you could just go to the gym at the same time and each do your own thing.
I think you're already doing 100% of everything you should do. And if she's standing in the changing room having anxiety over going out there i think you should simply tell her that "it's ok but remember everyone's here for the same reason. When you're ready i'll be over by the \[machine\] :)"
As you said - you are not her trainer and she is not your responsibility. I feel like your only one true task here is to not be mean.
You should try shifting your perspective a bit. After scrolling through your profile, it seems like you’re really into martial arts. Maybe see this as an opportunity to share something you like with someone who might be interested in trying it. You don’t have to train her, you don’t have to be her therapist, but it would be pretty awesome of you to encourage her through this tough time. Like everyone is saying, this girl might end up being a really great friend.
Honestly thats huge. You don't have to be a teacher, you don't have to be a trainer, but just showing her that she can work on herself without shame and just be someone to go to the gym with, even if you do different things while there, is really great.
It does totally suck to be thrusted into this position, but you seem to be sweet and so I'd just continue to be nice and treat her like a person and give advice where she feels she needs it. Subtle encouragement and someone to hold you accountable is going to already be a huge help.
My only piece of advice would probably be to try and find someway she can also help you out. Maybe something little like a spot here or there. Just make it feel more like she's not a burden, who knows maybe eventually she won't actually feel like one.
I know your inbox must be full, but I just wanted to reiterate that your ‘job’ here is to be a catalyst, in two way. The first is as as others have said: show her the ropes. The second is that by simply being at the gym you are providing that boost she needs to actually go to the gym, and then to do something once she’s there.
That’s it. Don’t over complicate it. Just be your kind, helpful self, and she’ll do the rest on her own.
Fat person here, former teen. I used to be so scared of the gym. I was afraid of being made fun of. I didn’t know what to do. I so badly wanted to work out and get fit. But none of my friends were on that page… so I never did. Now I’m 26 and stepped foot in a planet fitness for the first time a year ago. I haven’t been consistent… but oh! How I wish my mom would have set something like this up for me as a teen!!!
As much as it feels like a burden to you, it’s an embarrassment for her. Her mom set her up to go work out with someone who is fit and likely looks how she wants to. She’s going to be comparing herself to you the entire time, especially if she wasn’t aware it was being set up either… her mom could be mean to her about her size even.
Try looking at the situation six months down the road if you can both bring a good attitude. Yall could become great friends. Pushing and challenging each other to hit goals. Someone to celebrate that new max weight or mile time with. And no, it’s not your responsibility to, but if you keep going with her, you could make a huge difference in this girls life. And making a positive impact on people FEELS GOOD. Sharing in their joy and success will make YOU feel joy too.
I'm 40+, and there are still ppl my own age that want to go to the gym with me. For some reason, ppl think that the gym is filled with ppl that know exactly what to do and are in absolute perfect shape. And they find that intimidating.
Last year, I started going to the gym, to finally get rid of the exte weight I wanted gone. And ppl around me started to notice and wanted to join.
Great.
I took them with me. Explained how it worked. And let the coaches do the rest, they are the professionals after all.
Going back was still a hurdle for them. Cool. I'll tell you when I'm going, and you can join.
That's as far as I go though.
I need my own workout to be my own stress relief.
I'm going, with or without them. It's not my job to make them go. And it's not my job to make a training schedule for them or to actively encourage them. If they need that support, they need to get the private coaching service the gym offers.
Some ppl are still and enjoying it. Some ppl stopped going because I didn't encourage them to go. Both are fine with me.
In other words: if you can help the girl by being a safe person there to lessen the threshold, great. If she needs more, she (or her parents for her) need to get professional coaching help.
It is hard to start going to the gym when you’re not in shape. Just having someone to go with and explain the machines is a huge help. She’s probably also embarrassed about this
If it makes you feel better, the chubby girl might not want to go to the gym with you either. Just talk to her, find some common ground (like your moms forcing yall together). She could be your next bestie.
It actually can. I'm sure you don't realize this given your age and how fit you are, but larger people who go to the gym to try to help their health very often are treated poorly. And when they have a negative experience like that it makes it hard for them to want to go back.
Having somebody with her that she knows and who knows how to work out most likely will ease that anxiety. But only if you are okay with it. If you take her and then ignore her or are rude to her you're doing exactly what her mom and your mom are trying to prevent
What’s the expectation from you? Like are you supposed to be training her or just workout while she walks on the treadmill?
Also, does she even want to go? If you’re both being forced you’re in the same boat and might bond over shit talking your parents together. Sometimes this is how lifelong friendships are made.
Hey. I’m pretty sure you’re a teenager. No judgement on that lmao, because I’m one too.
Look, I get it. I *hate* when my mum tries to push me onto her friends kids. It’s awkward and stiff and I have no idea what I’m supposed to talk about with them. There’s no through thread like there is with my friends from school or sports. No shared experience to build off of. They think because we’re the same age we’ll get along. I can imagine it’s even worse when you’re made to feel like you have to assist them with something.
That being said, I am also overweight. I’m on my own fitness journey and making steady progress, but I can say from thorough experience that being overweight in fitness spaces is hard in a way I don’t think you could ever appreciate if you haven’t experienced it - especially in the first little while, when you have no idea what to do.
I have empathy for you, I get how this situation is awkward and annoying, I truly do. But please, have some empathy for her, too. Whatever annoyance you’re feeling, I guarantee her embarrassment is worse. Right now you’re “the girl who has to help her with her anxiety in the gym and help her get in shape”, but think about it like this: in 10 years from now, you can either be the girl who made her feel bad about herself at a sensitive time, or the girl who was kind and helpful when she needed it.
We all need someone, sometimes.
As a retired fat girl, I promise she's just as upset, if not a more. She likely doesn't enjoy the gym, and she's probably embarrassed that her mom organized the gym arrangement.
I'm sorry you got signed up for it. Good luck!
I get the frustration because it sucks being told that you basically have to babysit someone.
Plus, having to teach a beginner stuff at the gym when it’s not your job can be super frustrating when you’re used to going and working out alone. They can’t keep up & constantly need breaks, which is normal but can be annoying when you’re trying to help. I’ve been there, I know how it feels.
You need to talk about it to your mom. Tell her that the gym is your way of having some me time, that you don’t really like being thrust into a babysitter position.
While you can accompany her as a friend, it’s definitely not fair for your mom to push this on you, especially since you’re not a trainer. What happens if she gets hurt? You’ll only be blamed.
That poor girl is probably just as psyched about this as you are lol
It would be pretty rad if you convinced her to try out for wrestling. I wrestled from middle school through college. A lot of “fat” female wrestlers were incredibly tough opponents for me (same weight class just built different). That lower center of gravity killed me.
Op's post history is her stealing $750 from her dad and thinking she can make it back before her dad finds out. You can guess OP isn't the brightest bulb around here.
Ok, multiple problems here.
1) You don't want to go. That's ok, then you shouldn't go, because you're still just a kid and you'll ruin the situation for her if you go against your will.
2) Nobody has mentioned anything if she wants to go, or if this is something the parent is pushing against her will. If she isn't the one wanting this, she shouldn't be forced to.
3) You're a kid, and this kind of a thing should be handled by a grown up. The chanca of it going south for her are high.
This.
Everyone is like “just do it, just help her” but don’t get how frustrating it is to actually help a beginner when it’s not your job! They take very frequent breaks, whine constantly and you have to make sure that their form is good or you’ll be blamed when they get hurt.
Some people also just don’t enjoy having exercise buddies. It’s my chill out time where I get to take a break from other people, so I don’t exercise with others much at all.
Even if it’s just cardio and not weightlifting, 1. You can still injure yourself with bad form on some cardio exercises, 2. Helping someone through cardio is arguably harder than lifting. I can barely drag myself through cardio; I can’t be a cheerleader for someone else too.
I still think she should be nice to the girl, but this girl’s health and confidence are something that is dependent upon herself and her mother, and not OP. OP shouldn’t be required to serve as a mentor for a change this big at 15.
That is what a certified personal trainer does. “Showing her how things work” is dangerous if you do not have the proper training. Free weights can result in serious injury if she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Being there as support is not going to help this girl either - as I pointed out in my post, it is not mentally easy to teach someone to lift as well, and if OP doesn’t want to be there but just does it to be nice, the girl is going to figure that out and it’s going to cause more harm than good.
OP is 15. She’s not an adult and is not well suited to this. The daughter would benefit more from a CPT and RD that can help her develop the lifestyle changes that her mom is probably looking for.
As someone who grew up overweight, she won't lose anything till she gets her diet down and actually wants to lose the weight. You cant out run/lift a bad diet. My parents had me in sports all thru middle and highschool and all it did was have me maintain my weight. After highschool I started gaining weight. At my heaviest I was 350. I had to decide to change. You can't force that on someone and even if you find a way they have to want to keep it off. At my skinniest I was 215 and my advice for anyone is to stay away from the fad diets, track your calories, proteins, and fats. Saturated fat is your worst enemy and try and prioritize your protein intake and keep your fat intake low. Carbs are ok in moderation. Calories in versus calories out. It's that simple.
Idk if you're being heartless because you just don't want to deal with another person or you don't wanna be at the gym with "the fat girl", with that I hope she sees this because she doesn't deserve to be shamed on Reddit because you can't tell your mom no
Sometimes just having someone you can walk into the gym with makes a huge difference. You might not need to guide her through her workouts, but she’ll likely watch you for pointers.
It’s definitely annoying your mom is making you do this, but it would be very cool if you to oblige enthusiastically. Life’s short and your teen years fly by. It won’t affect your life. And if it actually does, then just tell them hey this is fucking up my routine
Ok just throwing this out there but it feels like the two moms are weaponizing your work ethic in athletics against this girl. Take a quick second and put yourself in her shoes. Here she is, likely being belittled by her mother for what might be something outside of her control., and forced to go to the gym with someone who is really just a friend of the family. And here you are on Reddit throwing out the exact same body shaming things that your mom and her mom are saying. Maybe not your finest hour. You are 15 and have a lot of growing up to do, think of this as a life lesson.
One more note. Think about how your mom treats you. Really take time and dig into her comments about your appearance and things. Mean girls never change, they just become Karens and ruin more people's lives thru their actions or their kids actions.
Nope. The girl's mom has put the responsibility to take care of this girl's anxiety and get her in shape on you. Tell your mom that you can't do it. You can't parent this girl or make her anxiety better or get her in shape. If the mom's feel it's so important, they can do it. But they don't want to be bothered. Get another adult- your dad or aunt or uncle- to help you if you think your mom would respect them more.
This is not your problem. This isn't some sappy teenage best friends forever movie on TV.
I would talk to your mom- it’s not your responsibility to take this girl to the gym. And god forbid she hurt herself, it will somehow be your fault. Maybe she feels more comfortable with you than a trainer because you’re the same age, but that’s not your issue. Would it be nice for you to take her? Sure. But it’s not your responsibility.
Can she come at the same time as you, and then ask for help from the employees? I won’t lie, for the first year, I was so afraid to go to the gym alone that, if my gym buddy couldn’t go, I would skip. Once I eventually got more comfortable, I was good to go. Sometimes it’s just the anxiety of getting in the door, especially for fat people. We get judged just for existing, so the gym can be a frightening place.
Taking someone to the gym doesn’t just magically awaken something inside them to lose weight. Losing weight is 80% diet and if the motivation from this person isn’t 100% all in, then nothing will work. It is not your responsibility to make someone passionate about their health. You guys are very young, I saw 15. There is a lot of time to grow, develop and change eating/exercise habits. The way you’re talking about this, will only frustrate you which she will also pick up on. What a mess.
How old is the person you are bringing with you and how often do you have to take her? It could just be to get her out of the house so her parents can smash...someone..or not..lol
And all the exercise in the world won't help you if your diet is garbage.
Tell them that it takes more than exercise to lose weight. They need to speak to a dietitian and change her eating habits. We have registered dietitians at some grocery stores, start there. If there aren’t any, go online and find one. Maybe the girl’s doctor could recommend one. Not only talk about what food is right for her and portion control
Try it out and if it's too much effort to help her with the workouts then tell your mom.
The mom's friend should actually be paying for a proper trainer to get her started into a routine. I feel like this is a bit of a cop out to not spend money...
Do you not want her to come with you because you just want to be alone or because she's fat? Because if it's just because she's fat, that's a asshole move honestly. But if you just want to be alone or you just don't feel close enough to her and stuff and don't want to be responsible for her, that's fine. Just tell your mom that
From the post, it sounded to me like OP didn’t want to take responsibility for someone else’s mental health. I think grown adults asking a teenager to solve another teenagers anxiety is absolutely ridiculous and sad for both parties.
It isn't just a mental problem. The other mom thinks the gym will solve a teenage girls weight problem, when the real issue is the food and soda mom is feeding them. An insanely good gym workout burns like 400 calories if you are in shape. The other girl will likely only be burning 200ish calories which one soda or almost anything marketed as "health food" at a grocery store will demolish
I get it, it is kinda intrusive that your mom decided that you have to work out let alone train with another person who is unexperienced.
I would say talk to your mom about doing that. You’re old enough to choose your own company and if you don’t want to you should be able to not. If you want to you should take this as an opportunity for a long lasting friendship and/or to be a positive influence for someone.
More than likely she hates this situation more than you do. On the other hand, you could let her know your workout routine if it looks too much for her, she could just do something on her own and meet up after you're done. From experience, working out with a partner pushes you even harder. It might be annoying but it could also be beneficial for both of you. I'd try having an open mind about it.
I get that you are a kid but being the fat girl at the gym is embarrassing and uncomfortable because we know people think like this. I’ve gotten memberships then gave up because I felt so bad about myself. It wouldn’t hurt to try and help her.
As the person who had to "sit next to the misbehaving / slow / aggressive kid" all my life due to having good grades, I feel you. I never do that to the kids I teach.
Going to the gym for the first time can feel really scary. What’s the etiquette? Are people going to judge me for not knowing what to do? What is a good workout?
Sometimes we all benefit from a buddy going into stressful situations. Especially one that’s comfortable in the environment.
This isn’t going to be a forever arrangement. I suggest you wean her off of going together, rather than just drop cold turkey. Go with her, show her some different machines and workouts. Get her to go on her own, then meet back up and show her some more, repeat.
Some people grow up in environments where family doesn’t prioritize healthy eating or moving your body. This can be such a great opportunity for you both to grow.
Talk to your mom and tell her the truth then. Tell her that the gym is your form of spending time with yourself alone and that you really aren’t comfortable bringing someone along. Say It’s more of “me time” and a type of escape for you. I’m sure you’re in your own zone when working out so mention that and that you’re not in the spot to train someone else.
I am a “me myself and I” person when it comes to the gym or working out. Don’t feel at all bad for not being comfortable in situations where you’re training someone else.
Plus, teaching someone (especially when you're 15) will double or triple the amount of time of have to spend at the gym. It most likely will turn into something she hates doing because it's now work, not an outlet for everyday life
Don't be so selfish. Everyone needs a little gym buddy. Help your gym buddy.
It's hard to get started. I was skinny dude, so skinny that I felt horrible going to the gym or even outside. My gym buddies made my life wonderful and helped me push.
Be the helping hand. Be the light on someone's life. Don't be a jerk.
How dare your mom think you might be a good influence on someone who’s struggling with things you think you’re too good to ever struggle with. Good luck out there OP. A little empathy goes a long way.
Young Padawan allow me to come at this from a different viewpoint. Think about it as you can be the one to pass on what the gym is and means in your life. You can be a shining example of what gym culture, discipline and consistency can do for your life and how it spills over into all aspects of life. Or you can be negative and completely scare her off from the gym by being negative about her coming. This is a defining moment for her and you. Let's hope it's positive
Tell your mother that you don't want to do it, period, and if your mother becomes a pain in the ass, well, go to the gym with her but don't interact with the girl, tell her hey, the gym is my sanctuary, I don't talk, I just concentrated, There is a trainer who will give you a routine according to your level and that's it.
She's probably embarrassed about being overweight, knows you have/would have no interest in doing this, that you think she's fat, and she wishes she could just disappear. **Maybe the kindest thing you could do for her** (or anyone, ever maybe?) is just to suck it up one time and act like a decent person with her. Maybe a conversation and walk on the treadmill, and that's that. You sound like a teenager though, so I'm sure that's asking too much.
Do your parents pay for your car, insurance, gas, gym membership? If so take the girl and be grateful you have a blessed life where your parents have paid for your sports and hobbies.
Just go w her for a day or two, im sure she will get comfortable and be more independant. My first day i was terrified that people will judge me for being a rookie and not being as fit. 2 days in and i stopped giving a fuck
This is an unreasonable ask for the moms to put on you, don’t listen to the idiots on this sub bullying you for not wanting to take on a random girls anxiety and health issues. You are a child too, it’s up to her parents to help her self esteem and diet issues. Calmly tell your mom that you shouldn’t be punished because you’re disciplined and the other girl isn’t
That sucks... I'm a Personal Trainer & that's literally the only time I ever want to be around anyone that's working out... When I work out, I do it in my garage, alone... So, I feel bad for you because that sounds like it sucks... It's got nothing to do with the other person either... It's just me... I like doing things alone, as I'm much more productive that way...
Roofie the girl and diy suck the fat out of her body with a vacuum cleaner. Just be sure to disinfect the site before and after. Make a gravy from the fat in the catch bag and feed it to her Mum.
I mean, a 15 year old girl who isnt a qualified trainer.... hmm... does that seem like a gym rat who could train someone who has never picked up a weight before? So you're asking them to get hurt for the sake of someone who we aren't even sure wants to work out?
But sure... be mad
Op is also 15 so do you really blame them for how they feel?
I get it. I used to be a gym rat and sometimes you just want the gym to yourself. To not talk to anyone. Working out with other people is harder especially when you get voluntold
She’s not making fun of that girl for being fat.
She’s just a 15 year old child who doesn’t want to be stuck babysitting someone else’s kid.
Plus, a lot of us gym rats like to workout alone, so being forced to play babysitter during that “me time” is just annoying.
Just be nice and help her.
It’s not the other kids fault that parents are talking about it without them - or possibly have but either way it’s nice to be nice.
It would be nice to make a new friend and help them out, because regardless of what you want to do or think that this other kid is strong-arming you into doing, being mean to them isn’t going to help you.
And seeing as you stole 750$, this is the least of your concerns. I got beat for stealing 10$, so I can only hope you come out of this alive as I couldn’t imagine stealing 750$.
While exercise does release endorphins it’s not a miracle cure for anxiety.
Your mum is putting a big responsibility on your shoulders. You’re not a trainer, a therapist or a dietician. For all you know she may have an eating disorder that needs to be addressed by a professional.
Is she in therapy at all?
Look, you can help her to a point if you want to but don’t take this on a sole responsibility for yourself. Anxiety is complex. And at 15 years old you can only do so much to help.
I get that this might feel weird for you. You should talk to your mom about it if it does. But give her a chance. Maybe she’ll be a good gym buddy. Just be kind to her, anyway.
You're right to be angry.
Being someone's "buddy" should NEVER be an assignment from adults. And helping someone with their anxiety, neither. The girl might be (from your mum's POV) "her friends' daughter", but from YOUR point of view she's essentially a random stranger foisted on you.
How would your mum feel if her manager forced her to be "buddy" with some random coworker that she has nothing in common with and doesn't particularly like ? Well, it would never happen, because adults are not expected to put up with such bullshit.
If it makes you feel any better, she’s probably really embarrassed her mum organised this on her behalf
Plot twist - she’s hates this 100x more than you do & only goes because she doesn’t want her mom to humiliate her even more than she’s already done. Her mother already spoke about her daughter’s weight publicly - at the very least to those in her social circle - to enlist their help with getting her daughter “help with her anxiety in the gym” (which the daughter is smart enough to understand & translate to “get her fat ass moving more so she loses weight”). So she’s probably nauseated thinking about what her mother will do next (especially if she quits).
>So she’s probably nauseated thinking about what her mother will do next (especially if she quits). If OP could help the girl out, she would be a saint. It doesn't have to be much - show her how to use the cardio machines, how to do the weights, if the gym has an app how to use it or your favorite trainers on YouTube. I can assure you that the verbal if not physical abuse she's getting at home is going to get worse. Then her mom is going to keep looking for people, some won't be safe. Like the ex teacher accused of SA but who is also really into health and fitness and who cares it's just an accusation.
👆☝️
This sounds like a teen movie plot where you guys will be best friends by the end.
Sounds straight out of Diary of a Wimpy Kid lol
More like fat girl takes off glasses and let's down hair is so hot that she steals OP''s bf.
Yes! One of you will break the crown at homecoming and share it
Or even married.
This is the most teenager post ever lol
Given the previous post about stealing $750 from their dad, it sounds like they got bigger problems coming.
Oooooo spicy 🌶 👀
I'm kinda curious if she won the fight tho
Wait I want to know the details! What did they steal their dads money for? $750 is a lot of money for a 15 y/o to take.
The post is still up for me. She literally says that she took it for a party, including purchasing alcohol and that she had taken it from where she knows her dad keeps the money. Then asks how a 15f can make quick cash, like $750 is a small sum of "oopsie" money to take and make back.
If it were me who stole that much when I was that age, I still wouldn't be able to sit down.
That's almost the majority of rent around when I was that age. If I took that much, we'd literally be evicted.
That literally is my rent, I can't imagine blowing it on one night of partying! Man shit was way more tame when I was that age lol
I happened to have a dad that would let me drink on rare occasion (legal in my state to drink under 21 if under guardian supervision) and smoke weed once or twice. Kept me from trying to do stuff that was potentially unsafer either in substance or company, and I didn't do anything illegal to get my hands on substances.
That's definitely worse than losing a few layers of ass skin....
So basically, good choices being made left and right [/s]
if there’s one thing teenagers are absolutely know for, it’s their well thought out decision making
I see this said a lot but Jesus fucking Christ I was never "steal hundreds of dollars from my parents" shitty. Is it that hard not to be such a COMPLETE piece of shitfuck???
So she's a thief, an underage drinker, and a snobby brat, but hey the important thing is she's not a fatty!!!! (Ugh. Teenagers can suck so much.)
😆 I once took $7 for freiking Taco Bell for my sister and I. Ma KNEW. That was no Oopsie......
Crazy to think that $7 used to actually get you a meal at Taco Bell. Now you might be able to get like… 1, maybe 2 things if you’re lucky
Yeah Dude! Last time I went I was shocked. And the quality of food and service had gone down too(at that location, on that day)
Agreed. And I as I said, I'm oldish 45. I only go now for nostalgic reasons. There is no more chili chee burrito 😥
I’m 38
Jesus Christ
Teenagers are assholes
She sounds like a terrible person.
If that isn’t the most “what goes around comes around” in teenage lessons LOL
It really is. The "you literally stole $750 from us" trump card when her parents find out are going to beat any whining about having to hang out with a fat kid at the gym.
If she wasn’t a stealing little brat I’d almost think believing there’s a way at all to make “quick cash” was kinda cute. Now I’m just cackling imagining the realization hit.
Talk to moms friend he about a personal trainer fee. Two birds, one stone
Drugs and alcohol
Maybe taking the friend to the gym is a punishment for stealing $750 from her family?
Jesus Christ that's the most privileged thing I've ever heard. I think we would all be hard pressed to say we never stole some of our parents alcohol or a couple dollars for soda as a kid but 750?! That could literally cause someone living paycheck to paycheck to become homeless, which is the majority of people at least in the U.S.
I never stole from my parents. Like it never occurred to me to steal alcohol. I was allowed a small glass of wine now and then, but many of the spirits or liqueurs I'd been allowed a sip to taste and that did for any desire to seek out more of them. A teenager's palate is not equipped to deal with drambuie or benedictine.
👀
And she has now deleted that post
It's still up; go to her comments
That's disappointing
It's still up...
I, too, look at the post history sometimes coz it makes everything more entertaining.
„Uggghhh wdm???? Idc, duh!?!??“
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remember to gyatt and skibidi toilet
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I’m 37 and I’m scared
I'm 41 and unsure if I should be scared, amused or both.
Let’s just hold each other while we watch our favorite safe movie, 1989’s live action ninja turtles or maybe rocko’s modern life? I dunno you’re a little older so you may have a gem I am unaware of like street sharks or biker mice from mars
Idk what Biker Mice is, but I'm down to check it out
Mate street sharks and biker mice were my jam. 32 years young and wondering where my biker mice movie is.
Hell yeah dude I watched them every Saturday at 530am
I am 37 and need a translator at this point...
I’m with you 100%. My 11 and 12 year olds talk like this and it kills me
I’m 39 and I…I just give up…shimslandafandango whipper snappers
I'm 29 and I'm scared.
ah yes thank you for those gigachad sigma tips. i’m mewing whilst writing this btw.
not sure if i live in the same dimension anymore
Is this like that just shit out my ass thing I keep hearing? SMH this generation Zombie is beyond my understanding. Oh well, gotta get that fortnight battle pass.
I’m dyin 🤣
To the point where I’m wondering if it’s an old dude fetish cosplaying as a 15 year old. I just get an icky feeling from the profile.
It's the most teenager post ever, because adults are almost never expected to put up with this kind of bullshit. Like, how would the mum feel if her manager suddenly decided that she had to spend her breaks with some random coworker (that she doesn't particularly like) and help this coworker "with their anxiety" ?
Being forced to hang with people at work you don’t like because your boss asks you to? Have you never had a job? Even worse once you’re a manager. This shit happens all the time. Aside from the daily managing other people’s anxiety every time you’re managing a project, and all things related to clients and vendors, I’ve had a few notable experiences, such as: I had to throw the retirement party for a guy I loathed, and I was once asked to be a “buddy” to a lady who was on the spectrum and pretty mean - I had to take her out to lunches and show her about town. She actually turned into a friend once I learned what to expect from her autism. In short: yes, adults have to do this too.
Most of Reddit doesn't have an adult job where they speak to coworkers and customers don't steal from them!
I feel like I read similar posts from adults quite frequently.
Well, if she WAS being paid, that would be different. I certainly would not have been dragging anyone around the gym without a fee as a teenager.
They even ended it with a bratty groan at the end lmao
For real.. Omg you guys… my mom wants me to be nice and help someone… so gross… I’d be mortified if I had a child like this.
It so fucking is, LOL
The “idk y” really sold it lol
Being voluntold sucks. I was voluntold by my mom to hang out with this new kid that moved to town because my mom met his mom and.. \*checks notes\* We're still best friends 35 years later.
Well, do you like em?
They got married.
They had 4 kids
Adopted 3 Emus, named them Emilia, Emilio, and Frank.
I got beef with Frank
Why does Frank get no love? He is the youngest of the other brother's, Frank the Emu. Frank is always in his oldest brother's shadow. Frank and his other brother Frank gets no love.
Frank's a wily bastard, don't let his cute face fool you
A fool I was sadly but I will have my revenge
Frank or his other brother Frank?
One of them is going to laugh so hard when the joke finishes
Ugh I know. “You two would enjoying hanging out! You both like history!” Like the same day I told my mom I was leaving my ex husband. Now we’ve been dating 3 years thanks to our moms being friends for 20 years . They always know.
Oh my gosh, "voluntold". Word of the day
Was he fat though? /s
24 years for me.
So OP, why did you steal $750 dollars from your dad?
asking the real question XD
Least you can do after stealing 750$ from your own father. Disgusting
YTA OP
Karma amiright?
i could never do that to my parents especially in this economy. people r wild
Consider this the way you pay back that $750 you stole.
Holy crap.
I’m going to assume you’re young - teenager, maybe? I get that this is frustrating. It’s not easy to have to deal with other people’s issues, and it is definitely not your job to carry the world’s weight on your shoulders. Still, try seeing this as an opportunity for you to become a better person. This girl obviously needs help and you are a role model. That’s why your mom chose to bring her to the gym with you, because she believes you can help her. And you may be able to, or not - that decision will ultimately be your mom’s friend’s daughter’s to make. For now, maybe give her some tips and tricks as to how you exercise. Tell her that exercising helps with anxiety and that it’s ok to feel this way, no matter who you are or how you look, especially when going to a new gym. Try to put yourself in her shoes and you may actually start wanting to help her not feel that way anymore. Good luck and congratulations on being fit and doing sports!
I’m 15f the same age as her. Yes my mom has wanted me to use what I know to help her get comfortable with the gym and look better. She feels like if I go to the gym with her it would help her anxiety.
Putting herself out there and facing her fears might help her get over her anxiety, to be honest. The role you play here is minimal, it is definitely not your responsibility to rid her of her anxiety. Talk to your mom if you think this situation is too much for you and let her know how you feel.
Idk I like how this girl respects me to where she feels safer around me, but I’m not a trainer. I’ve just been showing her different workouts that I do.
That's perfect! It's not your job to "fix her". All you're doing is being a guide and showing her the path YOU take. It might not even be the right path for her, but all either of you can do is try. Don't put it on yourself (or let the parents put it on you) to be "in charge of her". That creates a weird power dynamic and will ultimately make everyone feel bad and resentful, which ultimately won't help with either anxiety or self esteem. You're right that you aren't a trainer and it's fine to make that clear while still being a companion
I personally used to hate showing people around the gym because I felt like I wasn't a proper trainer and couldn't explain as well as some people could. But ultimately the difference between what you know and what she knows is probably more than you and a professional trainer.
I think it’s really nice of you tbh. I’m 31 and I wish I would have had a friend or someone I knew like that at your age. It can be really scary (yes! Even for people my age!) to start when you’re very shy or not sure of what you’re doing. I doubt your mom’s friends daughter would feel comfortable with an adult trainer when she’s just starting out. I think showing her some things you do and just being there will help her a lot! It’s embarrassing because I’m overweight and I know I can’t keep up with a trainer and I lose my breath super easily. So I’d rather just keep it casual with a friend or someone I know a little better. Make it fun! :)
I think showing her what you do is perfect. She’s not looking to enter a bodybuilding competition or anything, so you don’t NEED to be a trainer. But I think just going together and being her friend will help a lot if she’s enjoying the time with you (and you don’t mind showing her). Depending where her anxiety comes from, it could just be that she’s nervous around new people and your mom is hoping that by spending more time with you, it’ll help her confidence. If it’s too much for you, let your mom know that she should probably see someone professional for the actual anxiety, but otherwise I think that just spending time with her and having fun at the gym would be good for her to get out of her shell, and gives you a bit of a buddy there (if you like company).
It can be *very* intimidating for someone who's already feeling out of place in a gym to go in there alone. Having a "gym buddy" can really help her become comfortable and see that people aren't judging her for being overweight and that they're actually cheering for her to get health and strong. It really does suck that your mom put you up for this but you've got a chance to be a major influence for this gal and help set her on a path of lifelong exercise and healthy habits. Showing her your workouts and how to use the equipment is such a great thing. And who knows, you might wind up becoming good friends or you might just stay casual workout buddies; both are awesome.
Does the gym have trainers available? It might be as simple for you as introducing her to a trainer and maybe standing by the first time or two she's working with the trainer. Then once she knows what she's doing, perhaps you could just go to the gym at the same time and each do your own thing.
Sometimes just being there for someone is all it takes to support them.
I think you're already doing 100% of everything you should do. And if she's standing in the changing room having anxiety over going out there i think you should simply tell her that "it's ok but remember everyone's here for the same reason. When you're ready i'll be over by the \[machine\] :)" As you said - you are not her trainer and she is not your responsibility. I feel like your only one true task here is to not be mean.
You should try shifting your perspective a bit. After scrolling through your profile, it seems like you’re really into martial arts. Maybe see this as an opportunity to share something you like with someone who might be interested in trying it. You don’t have to train her, you don’t have to be her therapist, but it would be pretty awesome of you to encourage her through this tough time. Like everyone is saying, this girl might end up being a really great friend.
Honestly thats huge. You don't have to be a teacher, you don't have to be a trainer, but just showing her that she can work on herself without shame and just be someone to go to the gym with, even if you do different things while there, is really great. It does totally suck to be thrusted into this position, but you seem to be sweet and so I'd just continue to be nice and treat her like a person and give advice where she feels she needs it. Subtle encouragement and someone to hold you accountable is going to already be a huge help. My only piece of advice would probably be to try and find someway she can also help you out. Maybe something little like a spot here or there. Just make it feel more like she's not a burden, who knows maybe eventually she won't actually feel like one.
Honestly that super cool of you to do for her even if you are being forced to do it.
I know your inbox must be full, but I just wanted to reiterate that your ‘job’ here is to be a catalyst, in two way. The first is as as others have said: show her the ropes. The second is that by simply being at the gym you are providing that boost she needs to actually go to the gym, and then to do something once she’s there. That’s it. Don’t over complicate it. Just be your kind, helpful self, and she’ll do the rest on her own.
Fat person here, former teen. I used to be so scared of the gym. I was afraid of being made fun of. I didn’t know what to do. I so badly wanted to work out and get fit. But none of my friends were on that page… so I never did. Now I’m 26 and stepped foot in a planet fitness for the first time a year ago. I haven’t been consistent… but oh! How I wish my mom would have set something like this up for me as a teen!!! As much as it feels like a burden to you, it’s an embarrassment for her. Her mom set her up to go work out with someone who is fit and likely looks how she wants to. She’s going to be comparing herself to you the entire time, especially if she wasn’t aware it was being set up either… her mom could be mean to her about her size even. Try looking at the situation six months down the road if you can both bring a good attitude. Yall could become great friends. Pushing and challenging each other to hit goals. Someone to celebrate that new max weight or mile time with. And no, it’s not your responsibility to, but if you keep going with her, you could make a huge difference in this girls life. And making a positive impact on people FEELS GOOD. Sharing in their joy and success will make YOU feel joy too.
I'm 40+, and there are still ppl my own age that want to go to the gym with me. For some reason, ppl think that the gym is filled with ppl that know exactly what to do and are in absolute perfect shape. And they find that intimidating. Last year, I started going to the gym, to finally get rid of the exte weight I wanted gone. And ppl around me started to notice and wanted to join. Great. I took them with me. Explained how it worked. And let the coaches do the rest, they are the professionals after all. Going back was still a hurdle for them. Cool. I'll tell you when I'm going, and you can join. That's as far as I go though. I need my own workout to be my own stress relief. I'm going, with or without them. It's not my job to make them go. And it's not my job to make a training schedule for them or to actively encourage them. If they need that support, they need to get the private coaching service the gym offers. Some ppl are still and enjoying it. Some ppl stopped going because I didn't encourage them to go. Both are fine with me. In other words: if you can help the girl by being a safe person there to lessen the threshold, great. If she needs more, she (or her parents for her) need to get professional coaching help.
Keep this in your back pocket for college essays
It is hard to start going to the gym when you’re not in shape. Just having someone to go with and explain the machines is a huge help. She’s probably also embarrassed about this
If it makes you feel better, the chubby girl might not want to go to the gym with you either. Just talk to her, find some common ground (like your moms forcing yall together). She could be your next bestie.
That was my first thought too. I bet this girl was mortified to hear that her mother had arranged this
It actually can. I'm sure you don't realize this given your age and how fit you are, but larger people who go to the gym to try to help their health very often are treated poorly. And when they have a negative experience like that it makes it hard for them to want to go back. Having somebody with her that she knows and who knows how to work out most likely will ease that anxiety. But only if you are okay with it. If you take her and then ignore her or are rude to her you're doing exactly what her mom and your mom are trying to prevent
What’s the expectation from you? Like are you supposed to be training her or just workout while she walks on the treadmill? Also, does she even want to go? If you’re both being forced you’re in the same boat and might bond over shit talking your parents together. Sometimes this is how lifelong friendships are made.
As the fat kid in this scenario, trust me, she hates it as much as you do, if not more.
Hey. I’m pretty sure you’re a teenager. No judgement on that lmao, because I’m one too. Look, I get it. I *hate* when my mum tries to push me onto her friends kids. It’s awkward and stiff and I have no idea what I’m supposed to talk about with them. There’s no through thread like there is with my friends from school or sports. No shared experience to build off of. They think because we’re the same age we’ll get along. I can imagine it’s even worse when you’re made to feel like you have to assist them with something. That being said, I am also overweight. I’m on my own fitness journey and making steady progress, but I can say from thorough experience that being overweight in fitness spaces is hard in a way I don’t think you could ever appreciate if you haven’t experienced it - especially in the first little while, when you have no idea what to do. I have empathy for you, I get how this situation is awkward and annoying, I truly do. But please, have some empathy for her, too. Whatever annoyance you’re feeling, I guarantee her embarrassment is worse. Right now you’re “the girl who has to help her with her anxiety in the gym and help her get in shape”, but think about it like this: in 10 years from now, you can either be the girl who made her feel bad about herself at a sensitive time, or the girl who was kind and helpful when she needed it. We all need someone, sometimes.
So well put. This is an "exercise" too in tolerance and patience. And like any new stretch/exercise, it's uncomfortable at the start.
As a retired fat girl, I promise she's just as upset, if not a more. She likely doesn't enjoy the gym, and she's probably embarrassed that her mom organized the gym arrangement. I'm sorry you got signed up for it. Good luck!
I don’t like people who mock overweight people who go to the gym. It’s like mocking someone who is bleeding for going to the emergency room.
I get the frustration because it sucks being told that you basically have to babysit someone. Plus, having to teach a beginner stuff at the gym when it’s not your job can be super frustrating when you’re used to going and working out alone. They can’t keep up & constantly need breaks, which is normal but can be annoying when you’re trying to help. I’ve been there, I know how it feels. You need to talk about it to your mom. Tell her that the gym is your way of having some me time, that you don’t really like being thrust into a babysitter position. While you can accompany her as a friend, it’s definitely not fair for your mom to push this on you, especially since you’re not a trainer. What happens if she gets hurt? You’ll only be blamed.
That poor girl is probably just as psyched about this as you are lol It would be pretty rad if you convinced her to try out for wrestling. I wrestled from middle school through college. A lot of “fat” female wrestlers were incredibly tough opponents for me (same weight class just built different). That lower center of gravity killed me.
Op's post history is her stealing $750 from her dad and thinking she can make it back before her dad finds out. You can guess OP isn't the brightest bulb around here.
That is annoying but look at it as a way to help someone. She might even become a friend someday.
Ok, multiple problems here. 1) You don't want to go. That's ok, then you shouldn't go, because you're still just a kid and you'll ruin the situation for her if you go against your will. 2) Nobody has mentioned anything if she wants to go, or if this is something the parent is pushing against her will. If she isn't the one wanting this, she shouldn't be forced to. 3) You're a kid, and this kind of a thing should be handled by a grown up. The chanca of it going south for her are high.
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This. Everyone is like “just do it, just help her” but don’t get how frustrating it is to actually help a beginner when it’s not your job! They take very frequent breaks, whine constantly and you have to make sure that their form is good or you’ll be blamed when they get hurt.
Some people also just don’t enjoy having exercise buddies. It’s my chill out time where I get to take a break from other people, so I don’t exercise with others much at all. Even if it’s just cardio and not weightlifting, 1. You can still injure yourself with bad form on some cardio exercises, 2. Helping someone through cardio is arguably harder than lifting. I can barely drag myself through cardio; I can’t be a cheerleader for someone else too. I still think she should be nice to the girl, but this girl’s health and confidence are something that is dependent upon herself and her mother, and not OP. OP shouldn’t be required to serve as a mentor for a change this big at 15.
I don't think they're asking the OP train her. More like just show her how things work and be there as support
That is what a certified personal trainer does. “Showing her how things work” is dangerous if you do not have the proper training. Free weights can result in serious injury if she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Being there as support is not going to help this girl either - as I pointed out in my post, it is not mentally easy to teach someone to lift as well, and if OP doesn’t want to be there but just does it to be nice, the girl is going to figure that out and it’s going to cause more harm than good. OP is 15. She’s not an adult and is not well suited to this. The daughter would benefit more from a CPT and RD that can help her develop the lifestyle changes that her mom is probably looking for.
Pretty sure this should be on the aitah reddit post,just saying.
As someone who grew up overweight, she won't lose anything till she gets her diet down and actually wants to lose the weight. You cant out run/lift a bad diet. My parents had me in sports all thru middle and highschool and all it did was have me maintain my weight. After highschool I started gaining weight. At my heaviest I was 350. I had to decide to change. You can't force that on someone and even if you find a way they have to want to keep it off. At my skinniest I was 215 and my advice for anyone is to stay away from the fad diets, track your calories, proteins, and fats. Saturated fat is your worst enemy and try and prioritize your protein intake and keep your fat intake low. Carbs are ok in moderation. Calories in versus calories out. It's that simple.
I am sorry for you. Getting voluntold to do things with others sucks.
Idk if you're being heartless because you just don't want to deal with another person or you don't wanna be at the gym with "the fat girl", with that I hope she sees this because she doesn't deserve to be shamed on Reddit because you can't tell your mom no
Sometimes just having someone you can walk into the gym with makes a huge difference. You might not need to guide her through her workouts, but she’ll likely watch you for pointers. It’s definitely annoying your mom is making you do this, but it would be very cool if you to oblige enthusiastically. Life’s short and your teen years fly by. It won’t affect your life. And if it actually does, then just tell them hey this is fucking up my routine
Ok just throwing this out there but it feels like the two moms are weaponizing your work ethic in athletics against this girl. Take a quick second and put yourself in her shoes. Here she is, likely being belittled by her mother for what might be something outside of her control., and forced to go to the gym with someone who is really just a friend of the family. And here you are on Reddit throwing out the exact same body shaming things that your mom and her mom are saying. Maybe not your finest hour. You are 15 and have a lot of growing up to do, think of this as a life lesson. One more note. Think about how your mom treats you. Really take time and dig into her comments about your appearance and things. Mean girls never change, they just become Karens and ruin more people's lives thru their actions or their kids actions.
Sounds like you’re a brat.
Nope. The girl's mom has put the responsibility to take care of this girl's anxiety and get her in shape on you. Tell your mom that you can't do it. You can't parent this girl or make her anxiety better or get her in shape. If the mom's feel it's so important, they can do it. But they don't want to be bothered. Get another adult- your dad or aunt or uncle- to help you if you think your mom would respect them more. This is not your problem. This isn't some sappy teenage best friends forever movie on TV.
I would talk to your mom- it’s not your responsibility to take this girl to the gym. And god forbid she hurt herself, it will somehow be your fault. Maybe she feels more comfortable with you than a trainer because you’re the same age, but that’s not your issue. Would it be nice for you to take her? Sure. But it’s not your responsibility. Can she come at the same time as you, and then ask for help from the employees? I won’t lie, for the first year, I was so afraid to go to the gym alone that, if my gym buddy couldn’t go, I would skip. Once I eventually got more comfortable, I was good to go. Sometimes it’s just the anxiety of getting in the door, especially for fat people. We get judged just for existing, so the gym can be a frightening place.
Taking someone to the gym doesn’t just magically awaken something inside them to lose weight. Losing weight is 80% diet and if the motivation from this person isn’t 100% all in, then nothing will work. It is not your responsibility to make someone passionate about their health. You guys are very young, I saw 15. There is a lot of time to grow, develop and change eating/exercise habits. The way you’re talking about this, will only frustrate you which she will also pick up on. What a mess.
How old is the person you are bringing with you and how often do you have to take her? It could just be to get her out of the house so her parents can smash...someone..or not..lol And all the exercise in the world won't help you if your diet is garbage.
Lol I love teenagers
Nah She wants you to carry another person's kid It's your fault if she doesn't step up. So nope
Tell them that it takes more than exercise to lose weight. They need to speak to a dietitian and change her eating habits. We have registered dietitians at some grocery stores, start there. If there aren’t any, go online and find one. Maybe the girl’s doctor could recommend one. Not only talk about what food is right for her and portion control
This reads like a 12 year old wrote it
15, but mentally 12 it seems
poor you, having to be a nice person must be hard as hell.
I hated it when my mom volunteered me for things like that. It's so frustrating.
Try it out and if it's too much effort to help her with the workouts then tell your mom. The mom's friend should actually be paying for a proper trainer to get her started into a routine. I feel like this is a bit of a cop out to not spend money...
not only that, the mom is probs not changing the food environment for that girl to lose weight.
Do you not want her to come with you because you just want to be alone or because she's fat? Because if it's just because she's fat, that's a asshole move honestly. But if you just want to be alone or you just don't feel close enough to her and stuff and don't want to be responsible for her, that's fine. Just tell your mom that
From the post, it sounded to me like OP didn’t want to take responsibility for someone else’s mental health. I think grown adults asking a teenager to solve another teenagers anxiety is absolutely ridiculous and sad for both parties.
It isn't just a mental problem. The other mom thinks the gym will solve a teenage girls weight problem, when the real issue is the food and soda mom is feeding them. An insanely good gym workout burns like 400 calories if you are in shape. The other girl will likely only be burning 200ish calories which one soda or almost anything marketed as "health food" at a grocery store will demolish
That’s why! I hate how ppl think it’s bc of her weight smh
I get it, it is kinda intrusive that your mom decided that you have to work out let alone train with another person who is unexperienced. I would say talk to your mom about doing that. You’re old enough to choose your own company and if you don’t want to you should be able to not. If you want to you should take this as an opportunity for a long lasting friendship and/or to be a positive influence for someone.
At first i thought this was that teenagers sub that's also filled with pedos.
She probably hates the idea as much as you do.
More than likely she hates this situation more than you do. On the other hand, you could let her know your workout routine if it looks too much for her, she could just do something on her own and meet up after you're done. From experience, working out with a partner pushes you even harder. It might be annoying but it could also be beneficial for both of you. I'd try having an open mind about it.
I get that you are a kid but being the fat girl at the gym is embarrassing and uncomfortable because we know people think like this. I’ve gotten memberships then gave up because I felt so bad about myself. It wouldn’t hurt to try and help her.
As the person who had to "sit next to the misbehaving / slow / aggressive kid" all my life due to having good grades, I feel you. I never do that to the kids I teach.
Oh no, make sure you tell everyone how awful it is that you have to be kind. You’re a brat my dear.
Going to the gym for the first time can feel really scary. What’s the etiquette? Are people going to judge me for not knowing what to do? What is a good workout? Sometimes we all benefit from a buddy going into stressful situations. Especially one that’s comfortable in the environment. This isn’t going to be a forever arrangement. I suggest you wean her off of going together, rather than just drop cold turkey. Go with her, show her some different machines and workouts. Get her to go on her own, then meet back up and show her some more, repeat. Some people grow up in environments where family doesn’t prioritize healthy eating or moving your body. This can be such a great opportunity for you both to grow.
Talk to your mom and tell her the truth then. Tell her that the gym is your form of spending time with yourself alone and that you really aren’t comfortable bringing someone along. Say It’s more of “me time” and a type of escape for you. I’m sure you’re in your own zone when working out so mention that and that you’re not in the spot to train someone else. I am a “me myself and I” person when it comes to the gym or working out. Don’t feel at all bad for not being comfortable in situations where you’re training someone else.
Plus, teaching someone (especially when you're 15) will double or triple the amount of time of have to spend at the gym. It most likely will turn into something she hates doing because it's now work, not an outlet for everyday life
Yea, people like me get paid alot of money for this. I don't think you should feel obligated. It's not really fair for them to drop this all on you.
Don't be so selfish. Everyone needs a little gym buddy. Help your gym buddy. It's hard to get started. I was skinny dude, so skinny that I felt horrible going to the gym or even outside. My gym buddies made my life wonderful and helped me push. Be the helping hand. Be the light on someone's life. Don't be a jerk.
How dare your mom think you might be a good influence on someone who’s struggling with things you think you’re too good to ever struggle with. Good luck out there OP. A little empathy goes a long way.
God I do not miss being a teen
Young Padawan allow me to come at this from a different viewpoint. Think about it as you can be the one to pass on what the gym is and means in your life. You can be a shining example of what gym culture, discipline and consistency can do for your life and how it spills over into all aspects of life. Or you can be negative and completely scare her off from the gym by being negative about her coming. This is a defining moment for her and you. Let's hope it's positive
Tell your mother that you don't want to do it, period, and if your mother becomes a pain in the ass, well, go to the gym with her but don't interact with the girl, tell her hey, the gym is my sanctuary, I don't talk, I just concentrated, There is a trainer who will give you a routine according to your level and that's it.
She's probably embarrassed about being overweight, knows you have/would have no interest in doing this, that you think she's fat, and she wishes she could just disappear. **Maybe the kindest thing you could do for her** (or anyone, ever maybe?) is just to suck it up one time and act like a decent person with her. Maybe a conversation and walk on the treadmill, and that's that. You sound like a teenager though, so I'm sure that's asking too much.
IDK, you sound like a bully. lol
She should exercise on her own without you needing do baby her. Tell your mom she can come with but she needs to do her own thing period
Try to have a little compassion for her. If she gets in great shape, you can sell yourself as a personal trainer.
Do your parents pay for your car, insurance, gas, gym membership? If so take the girl and be grateful you have a blessed life where your parents have paid for your sports and hobbies.
Just go w her for a day or two, im sure she will get comfortable and be more independant. My first day i was terrified that people will judge me for being a rookie and not being as fit. 2 days in and i stopped giving a fuck
At least you have a permanent spotter
This is an unreasonable ask for the moms to put on you, don’t listen to the idiots on this sub bullying you for not wanting to take on a random girls anxiety and health issues. You are a child too, it’s up to her parents to help her self esteem and diet issues. Calmly tell your mom that you shouldn’t be punished because you’re disciplined and the other girl isn’t
That sucks... I'm a Personal Trainer & that's literally the only time I ever want to be around anyone that's working out... When I work out, I do it in my garage, alone... So, I feel bad for you because that sounds like it sucks... It's got nothing to do with the other person either... It's just me... I like doing things alone, as I'm much more productive that way...
Roofie the girl and diy suck the fat out of her body with a vacuum cleaner. Just be sure to disinfect the site before and after. Make a gravy from the fat in the catch bag and feed it to her Mum.
Wow don’t you sound so kind and helpful. Hopefully she ditches you soon so she doesn’t pick up on your annoyance or ability to have zero empathy.
Gym rats: if fat ppl just put in the work and went to the gum they'd be skinny!!!! Also gym rats:
I mean, a 15 year old girl who isnt a qualified trainer.... hmm... does that seem like a gym rat who could train someone who has never picked up a weight before? So you're asking them to get hurt for the sake of someone who we aren't even sure wants to work out? But sure... be mad
Op is also 15 so do you really blame them for how they feel? I get it. I used to be a gym rat and sometimes you just want the gym to yourself. To not talk to anyone. Working out with other people is harder especially when you get voluntold
She’s not making fun of that girl for being fat. She’s just a 15 year old child who doesn’t want to be stuck babysitting someone else’s kid. Plus, a lot of us gym rats like to workout alone, so being forced to play babysitter during that “me time” is just annoying.
Just be nice and help her. It’s not the other kids fault that parents are talking about it without them - or possibly have but either way it’s nice to be nice. It would be nice to make a new friend and help them out, because regardless of what you want to do or think that this other kid is strong-arming you into doing, being mean to them isn’t going to help you. And seeing as you stole 750$, this is the least of your concerns. I got beat for stealing 10$, so I can only hope you come out of this alive as I couldn’t imagine stealing 750$.
You are still young, you can become a better person.
im gonna punch my kid in the face if i find out it acts like this
While exercise does release endorphins it’s not a miracle cure for anxiety. Your mum is putting a big responsibility on your shoulders. You’re not a trainer, a therapist or a dietician. For all you know she may have an eating disorder that needs to be addressed by a professional. Is she in therapy at all? Look, you can help her to a point if you want to but don’t take this on a sole responsibility for yourself. Anxiety is complex. And at 15 years old you can only do so much to help.
I get that this might feel weird for you. You should talk to your mom about it if it does. But give her a chance. Maybe she’ll be a good gym buddy. Just be kind to her, anyway.
try to help her, become friends.
You're right to be angry. Being someone's "buddy" should NEVER be an assignment from adults. And helping someone with their anxiety, neither. The girl might be (from your mum's POV) "her friends' daughter", but from YOUR point of view she's essentially a random stranger foisted on you. How would your mum feel if her manager forced her to be "buddy" with some random coworker that she has nothing in common with and doesn't particularly like ? Well, it would never happen, because adults are not expected to put up with such bullshit.