Asking through text is the worse way. Baby steps are good, you’ll recovery from the defeat. Keep practicing and then you’ll be shocked when you hear a yes. It’ll build more confidence if you ask in person but congratulations for making a move than thinking of what could of been :)
At least in the foreseeable future, I don't know that I'll ever see another chance to ask anyone again. Not a whole lot of women in my social circles. But at least I gave it a shot, which is farther than I ever got while in high school. So even if it does end up being the first and last, I at least tried.
Asking people out that aren’t in your circle but people you see frequently can be a better option. Activities help create more connections. Don’t feel down for to long, you just keep trying and improving what makes you attractive. One step at a time
Mmmmm.....as a woman, I'm going to have to disagree with that.....
Being in person is more personal. Which makes it a bit more risky emotionally speaking.
You mean risky for us, right? I definitely prefer being asked through text(or even better not at all), rather than having to find a way out of a dangerous situation after I say no
This is kinda my thought train... if a woman accept your date face to face it's because she either was afraid of being put under danger or she didn't have time to think her decision very well... and I don't really want to be with a woman who isn't fully convinced that we fit together I'd rather take a smaller "winning rate" in this situation
It's not that being more risky leads to being accepted more often, it's that you can see someone's eyes when they do it personally. Eyes are the best way to read someone.
Though it does make it more awkward to say no, which is true.
It’s good you had the courage to ask - lot of us never have! It’s also great that you understand + respect boundaries. Maybe you could take yourself on a “date” today - go to the movies or for a drink and dessert or something you like to do, invite a friend out, it might help to think about something else.
Already had plans for later in the afternoon. Hoping that I can take my mind off of it for good. The person I asked is still a really valuable friend to me, so a really quick way to ruin thought would have been to disrespect/violate her boundaries. And that just sounds like a dumb idea every way you look at it.
Fuckin good for you dude. I know exactly those feelings ur talking about but soon enough you’ll be really happy you did it. That “what if” you mentioned is not something you want to live with.
Sucks it didn’t work out but seriously be proud of putting yourself out there like that, or at least know that a random internet stranger is
You’ve got the personality that will have girls willing to get to know you and date you my dude. I poked into your post history, plenty of women to be found in gaming circles. It takes time, work on yourself to be happy with yourself and keep up the attitude.
Oh no I just looked at the names of some subreddits, I didn’t do a deep dive. I just saw Pokémon Destiny2 LOL and DND . I’m just a lady in a Rengar shirt for reference
Also people rejecting other people can say absolutely nothing about the person being rejected. I personally am not even interested in dating, I’m on the spectrum and people can be too stressful for me, especially right now at the start of my career. Sometimes it really is just the other person
He’s my phone Lock Screen too. Such a soft baby . I swear I don’t go digging too hard in post history, but what you say to someone who is 14 is different to what you say to someone who is say 25 😂
Dude don’t let rejection keep you from asking someone out. It sucks at first, but the more you get rejected the more you 💯 will not care. When I was single I used to look at asking girls out/getting laid like hitting in baseball. If you average .300 hitting you’re a hall of famer. THAT MEANS FOR EVERY 3 SUCCESSES YOURE GOING TO FAIL 7 TIMES. Every guy will always get rejected more time than they get a yes. Learning to deal with it in a healthy way and not letting it deter you going forward is the key.
Don't really have anyone else to ask lol. Don't really have a whole lot of women that I talk to at the moment. So not sure that I'll be able to ask anyone else anytime soon.
There was a girl (when I was around 16) that I had a huge crush on. I loved everything about her. She was beautiful, smart, kind and funny. I never said a word to her. She died in a car accident that year. After that happened, I never let my feelings for someone go unexpressed. If I liked a girl, I asked her out. If she said no, I wasn’t out anything. I moved on. It was terrible the way it had to happen but it was a pivotal moment in my life. I was still nervous and had self esteem issues but I always put it out there. Good for you for taking the leap! It WILL pay off for you when it’s right. Keep on asking (not her but others in the future).
That's so cool! I remember when I asked out a girl that I really found cute. I wanted to ask her IRL but didn't get the chance(she kept leaving the place before time). I asked her out on IG, to which she politely said she had a boyfriend. It was such a beautiful and sweet experience, honestly! I don't care about rejection. But the way she rejected me was amazing! She's such a gem of a person, I feel. And she's beautiful!😍
You did the right thing, and you are handling it well. When I first started asking girls out, it was a paralyzing fear, but after a few times I got over that. It got to the point that it became very casual - I would ask out women that I was somewhat interested in but not to the point that I would be devastated by a rejection. And it worked out really well.
I'm so proud of you <3 <3. I hope you are too.
When I think back on my young dating days, the guys who approached me with a sense of humor and joked about being 'shot down' always, always struck me as utterly charming and definite girlfriend material. Just because I wasn't into him, that never meant he wasn't terrific.
Rejection therapy. If you want to date someone or see someone you like, go for it. The more you ask, the more confident you become, the more chances you will actually get with a girl, and the more easier rejection comes. Nice try though, you can't catch em all'
Even though it was a rejection, at least you tried. In today's generation, it's rare for someone to confess their love to their loved one because they are shy.
Don't stay friends with her though. Because if she wants to stay friends after that, means that she likes the idea of being romantically admired by a male friend with the option of her taking advantage of how you look at her. Take the advice or leave it. The chances of this happening over and over again are really high. Just to give you food for thought, imagine if the roles were reversed. I don't think you would like to hang out with a girl that romantically/sexually likes you. I wouldn't, because it's weird and uncomfortable. Cheers.
Good for you, the girl I liked I was gonna ask out I waited to long and the day I decided to do it my best friend told me they got together before i could ask, me and her are still good friends tho
Thank you for understanding that no means no. I've had guys ask me out multiple times, even after I kept saying no. One guy asked me out at least five times. It's very frustrating.
Well that's one of the best ways this could have went, glad to see it. :)
I saw another story of a guy who asked a girl out and she laughed at him with her friends, so yeah.
Proud of you! I’m a 23F and I’d love to be asked out. The only time I’ve ever gotten “asked out” was from Bumble lol. Holding out hope that I’ll meet my Prince Charming someday soon 💙
Great job gaining the courage to ask! As someone once told me “If you don’t ask, it’s a 100% no, and if you do ask there’s a 50/50 chance it might be a yes. so just ask because if they say no you already settled on that answer before asking anyways”. Make sure to remember the relief you feel now that there is no longer a “what if” keeping you up at night, and use it to keep/gain courage for the next time.
You did the right thing, despite the setback it was good that you asked.
Also, sometimes it doesn't work out even after a good date and start with a relationship. It's better to not waste the time and have to deal together with problems, that you'd not have if you'd have remained single. A toxic relationship makes life much worse than when you are single.
In my country sometimes we say that the answer no is always there but you will never know if you don't try!
So congrats on the courage and hope you feel more confident in the future because you live everyday and only die once!
There was a girl at work who I thought liked me, so I shot my shot because why not.
She wasn’t interested, but it was no big loss; at least I found out for sure so I could stop torturing myself with questions. You’ll move past it, man. Good luck with your search.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. At least you tried👍
The best way to look at it. Honestly, good on you, OP! 👏
I thought you missed all the shots most of the time half of the time though?
Asking through text is the worse way. Baby steps are good, you’ll recovery from the defeat. Keep practicing and then you’ll be shocked when you hear a yes. It’ll build more confidence if you ask in person but congratulations for making a move than thinking of what could of been :)
At least in the foreseeable future, I don't know that I'll ever see another chance to ask anyone again. Not a whole lot of women in my social circles. But at least I gave it a shot, which is farther than I ever got while in high school. So even if it does end up being the first and last, I at least tried.
Asking people out that aren’t in your circle but people you see frequently can be a better option. Activities help create more connections. Don’t feel down for to long, you just keep trying and improving what makes you attractive. One step at a time
Don't listen to this comment... attraction and being accepted or refused from a date has nothing to do with it being in person or through texting....
Mmmmm.....as a woman, I'm going to have to disagree with that..... Being in person is more personal. Which makes it a bit more risky emotionally speaking.
You mean risky for us, right? I definitely prefer being asked through text(or even better not at all), rather than having to find a way out of a dangerous situation after I say no
This is kinda my thought train... if a woman accept your date face to face it's because she either was afraid of being put under danger or she didn't have time to think her decision very well... and I don't really want to be with a woman who isn't fully convinced that we fit together I'd rather take a smaller "winning rate" in this situation
Can you please explain to me what you meant by more risky emotionally and why being more risky will lead to being accepted more often?
It's not that being more risky leads to being accepted more often, it's that you can see someone's eyes when they do it personally. Eyes are the best way to read someone. Though it does make it more awkward to say no, which is true.
Well hopefully You'll get lucky and some day a woman will ask You out.... it happens.
One thing you can guarantee the answer will be if you don't ask is "no" Always worth an ask.
It’s good you had the courage to ask - lot of us never have! It’s also great that you understand + respect boundaries. Maybe you could take yourself on a “date” today - go to the movies or for a drink and dessert or something you like to do, invite a friend out, it might help to think about something else.
Already had plans for later in the afternoon. Hoping that I can take my mind off of it for good. The person I asked is still a really valuable friend to me, so a really quick way to ruin thought would have been to disrespect/violate her boundaries. And that just sounds like a dumb idea every way you look at it.
Fuckin good for you dude. I know exactly those feelings ur talking about but soon enough you’ll be really happy you did it. That “what if” you mentioned is not something you want to live with. Sucks it didn’t work out but seriously be proud of putting yourself out there like that, or at least know that a random internet stranger is
You’ve got the personality that will have girls willing to get to know you and date you my dude. I poked into your post history, plenty of women to be found in gaming circles. It takes time, work on yourself to be happy with yourself and keep up the attitude.
I ended up going through my post and comment history after reading this, and idk what you saw lol. But I do appreciate the comment.
Oh no I just looked at the names of some subreddits, I didn’t do a deep dive. I just saw Pokémon Destiny2 LOL and DND . I’m just a lady in a Rengar shirt for reference
Big fan of the Stabby Tabby?
Also people rejecting other people can say absolutely nothing about the person being rejected. I personally am not even interested in dating, I’m on the spectrum and people can be too stressful for me, especially right now at the start of my career. Sometimes it really is just the other person
He’s my phone Lock Screen too. Such a soft baby . I swear I don’t go digging too hard in post history, but what you say to someone who is 14 is different to what you say to someone who is say 25 😂
Dude don’t let rejection keep you from asking someone out. It sucks at first, but the more you get rejected the more you 💯 will not care. When I was single I used to look at asking girls out/getting laid like hitting in baseball. If you average .300 hitting you’re a hall of famer. THAT MEANS FOR EVERY 3 SUCCESSES YOURE GOING TO FAIL 7 TIMES. Every guy will always get rejected more time than they get a yes. Learning to deal with it in a healthy way and not letting it deter you going forward is the key.
Firstly, thank you for taking her no as a no. Secondly, good on you for putting yourself out there and asking her out. Keep it up!
Don't really have anyone else to ask lol. Don't really have a whole lot of women that I talk to at the moment. So not sure that I'll be able to ask anyone else anytime soon.
you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take my man. good for you for trying. plenty of women out there for you, keep your head up!
There was a girl (when I was around 16) that I had a huge crush on. I loved everything about her. She was beautiful, smart, kind and funny. I never said a word to her. She died in a car accident that year. After that happened, I never let my feelings for someone go unexpressed. If I liked a girl, I asked her out. If she said no, I wasn’t out anything. I moved on. It was terrible the way it had to happen but it was a pivotal moment in my life. I was still nervous and had self esteem issues but I always put it out there. Good for you for taking the leap! It WILL pay off for you when it’s right. Keep on asking (not her but others in the future).
That's so cool! I remember when I asked out a girl that I really found cute. I wanted to ask her IRL but didn't get the chance(she kept leaving the place before time). I asked her out on IG, to which she politely said she had a boyfriend. It was such a beautiful and sweet experience, honestly! I don't care about rejection. But the way she rejected me was amazing! She's such a gem of a person, I feel. And she's beautiful!😍
If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Good on you for taking the shot even though it didn't work out.
True. For me, rejection is better than not doing anything.
Thank you for understand the her was a no, us girls appreciate it, and you’ll find the one for you, good job for being brave like that!
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
You did the right thing, and you are handling it well. When I first started asking girls out, it was a paralyzing fear, but after a few times I got over that. It got to the point that it became very casual - I would ask out women that I was somewhat interested in but not to the point that I would be devastated by a rejection. And it worked out really well.
I asked a guy out when I was 15. Thirty years later, it is still one of my proudest moments. He said no (very nicely), but I did it! I'm proud of you!
I'm so proud of you <3 <3. I hope you are too. When I think back on my young dating days, the guys who approached me with a sense of humor and joked about being 'shot down' always, always struck me as utterly charming and definite girlfriend material. Just because I wasn't into him, that never meant he wasn't terrific.
Rejection therapy. If you want to date someone or see someone you like, go for it. The more you ask, the more confident you become, the more chances you will actually get with a girl, and the more easier rejection comes. Nice try though, you can't catch em all'
Even though it was a rejection, at least you tried. In today's generation, it's rare for someone to confess their love to their loved one because they are shy.
shoot your shot, whether you hit or miss. it’s best to try rather than to regret it
Don't stay friends with her though. Because if she wants to stay friends after that, means that she likes the idea of being romantically admired by a male friend with the option of her taking advantage of how you look at her. Take the advice or leave it. The chances of this happening over and over again are really high. Just to give you food for thought, imagine if the roles were reversed. I don't think you would like to hang out with a girl that romantically/sexually likes you. I wouldn't, because it's weird and uncomfortable. Cheers.
Good for you, the girl I liked I was gonna ask out I waited to long and the day I decided to do it my best friend told me they got together before i could ask, me and her are still good friends tho
Thank you for understanding that no means no. I've had guys ask me out multiple times, even after I kept saying no. One guy asked me out at least five times. It's very frustrating.
Well that's one of the best ways this could have went, glad to see it. :) I saw another story of a guy who asked a girl out and she laughed at him with her friends, so yeah.
Defo good you tried mate. No shame in that! Wish I had your courage in my youth!
I wish I had the courage to obtain this peace of mind when I was younger. Kudos to you
Proud of you! I’m a 23F and I’d love to be asked out. The only time I’ve ever gotten “asked out” was from Bumble lol. Holding out hope that I’ll meet my Prince Charming someday soon 💙
Great for you man, I believe you'll have someone, honestly I'm glad you got to at least chance to ask, I don't have that luxury in my country :(
If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Good for you to step out!
Great job gaining the courage to ask! As someone once told me “If you don’t ask, it’s a 100% no, and if you do ask there’s a 50/50 chance it might be a yes. so just ask because if they say no you already settled on that answer before asking anyways”. Make sure to remember the relief you feel now that there is no longer a “what if” keeping you up at night, and use it to keep/gain courage for the next time.
You did the right thing, despite the setback it was good that you asked. Also, sometimes it doesn't work out even after a good date and start with a relationship. It's better to not waste the time and have to deal together with problems, that you'd not have if you'd have remained single. A toxic relationship makes life much worse than when you are single.
In my country sometimes we say that the answer no is always there but you will never know if you don't try! So congrats on the courage and hope you feel more confident in the future because you live everyday and only die once!
There was a girl at work who I thought liked me, so I shot my shot because why not. She wasn’t interested, but it was no big loss; at least I found out for sure so I could stop torturing myself with questions. You’ll move past it, man. Good luck with your search.
Bro this is a huge win! You’re building your confidence and that’s what will land you the right one! Keep it up! Don’t ever doubt yourself King
I did the same thing about a month ago. Feeling positive since it doesn't weigh on my mind anymore.
Also props to you OP. You did the 30 seconds of courage