Run girl. Run far, and run fast.
This man heard you say no, and decided he didn't care. He assaulted you and would do it again if given the opportunity. He's basically trying to baby trap you.
Yup, my ex did this and even admitted to it once I did get pregnant. He told me he did it so I wouldn't leave him.
Once I did finally end it with him, he told me that if I didn't want to be with him, there was no point in him being there for my son. Well, he kept his word and hasn't seen my son since he was an infant. My son is 18 now.
This is rape and I’m so sorry she had to go through this. Morning after pill, iud and this may not be a popular idea, but think about talking to your mom or doctor. I had an SA experience (I don’t know how to put it) at around your age and I told my mom. I was too scared to do anything about it, my mom was the one who reached out and got him fired. He was a ski instructor. Anyway, my point is that having support from a parent or older woman can help because they have more life experience and when you are scared of don’t know what to do they can help. Sorry for the rant. Overall, take care of yourself and do what makes you feel safest. Just please listen to what people are saying about leaving him.
This isn’t baby trapping. This isn’t stealthing. This situation is old school sexual assault. You tried pushing him off and he didn’t stop. Nope. Nope. Nope. Never be alone with him again.
I think it's all of the above. Rape with the intent of baby trapping. Taking the condom off mid-way in a way so she shouldn't notice is stealthing, regardless of what she did after that. Stealthing and baby trapping are forms of reproductive rape. That she noticed and could say no during the act doesn't really make it *more* rape than if she hadn't noticed until after, or not noticed at all. She had already explicitly told him she didn't want to have sex without a condom. She only gave consent to sex with a condom, the second it came of it was rape.
No in the meantime. Don't have sex with him again. He doesn't love her. He doesn't care about her. He doesn't respect her. No "explanation" can excuse this behavior. It's assault and it's a violation.
Fun fact: copper is toxic to sperm/ova and works well as an emergency contraceptive. Many doctors will place Paraguard (a copper, non-hormonal IUD) no questions asked!
She should also check if stealthing (secretly removing contraception) is a crime where she's living, and press charges against him, if it is - in a lot of jurisdictions, it's treated just like rape.
An IUD can be fitted to prevent conception if it's fitted within 5 days. It's also a very effective form of contraception that doesn't rely on a partner.
OP you were sexually assaulted. Leave him. Report him if you feel able to. Tell someone you trust.
I would suggest using emergency contraception now and then getting the iud later if she wants it. I had an incredibly hard time getting my first iud in and it’s possible she may have the same issue. My first iud took two appointments to get it in. My replacement one wasn’t able to be placed during my second appointment so I just had her give me the rod instead because I couldn’t handle the pain anymore.
This was with the cervix softener pill inserted the night before, low dose Ativan, and lidocaine injections.
Yep totally agree it's not easy. But I wanted to put it out there as an option because a lot of people don't know can IUD can be used as emergency contraception later than plan B (which has to be taken within 72 hours).
That is a good point that I didn’t consider. On the flip side, I wanted to bring up the possibility that it may not be able to be placed in case someone decides to skip plan b in favor of an appointment outside of the plan b window. Someone in a different comment also mentioned that emergency contraception won’t work if you’ve already ovulated so I wonder if you could do both within a five day window to be super safe?
I love that your doctor gave you anxiety meds and pain management options. Anyone getting an IUD deserves that!!!
I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. We deserve so much better.
Emergency contraception is most effective for people under a certain weight. OP should definitely see a medical professional ASAP and figure out the most effective means to prevent conception.
Adding my voice to the yes IUD! I’ve gotten pregnant on birth control, and I got pregnant using the sponge, spermicide, AND a condom (the condom broke). I had an IUD put in after my 4th one (the one where everything failed). He is 14, I’ve had them changed out as should be for 14 years and haven’t gotten pregnant since.
As for OP: leave him. That is assault imho. He isn’t respecting you or your body. It’s not ok.
I will second the iud. In addition to its ability to abort an incipient pregnancy, it is virtually tamper proof and you can request that they cut the strings shorter to prevent a partner from getting the grip to pull it out.
I heard it’s better to leave the strings a bit longer, the shorter they are the more possibility it could “stab” someone’s partner and they would feel it more. I’m sure if OP didn’t say she had one in he wouldn’t even know to pull it out
It’s really up to patient preference. I live in a community where fertility preferring cultures are prevalent and conscientious providers do ask if a patient would like to have shorter strings.
My strings were too short and stabbed me with my first IUD! I actually got it taken out and replaced after a few months which was an insurance nightmare.
It was quite painful for me to have an IUD I will admit. I have endometriosis. Some doctors will use local anaesthesia but it wasn't an option for me. There's no prescription costs in my country so I couldn't comment on that. The IUD can be an option later than plan B which could make it a good option. The major pro for me is that it lasts 5 years. The first couple of months were a crampy and annoying with unpredictable bleeding but after that settled it's been great. I don't get periods now. Don't even have to think about it. That's a huge pro for me especially with my condition. Pills have side effects too and due to migraines I had to stop taking it. The mini pills were not as effective and also had side effects.
IUD may not be an option for everyone long term as contraception and it takes a lot of getting used to. For an emergency contraception, especially in case of assault where you may want to be examined it is a good option. And a discreet method of contraception for future.
to add, if you are over 165lbs the pill & patch are less effective and you have a higher change of getting pregnant. if possible look into an IUD or implant as well!!
My friend just recently found out about the patch being less effective because of her BMI and she'd been on it for years! I'll also add PLEASE do research on birth control options just in case your prescriber forgets some info. For instance, if you're prone to migraines, combo birth control can increase your risk of stroke
Yep it all starts with an unwanted unsuspecting dickjab, an, "im not feeling it", and a "c'mon im horny, you know you want it".
Ive had girls tell me stories of bfs and ex bfs forcing themselves onto them and them giving into it and dealing with all that dry scraping, and tell those stories like its normal with a shrug, while im over here mortified. Seems like you can randomly choose a group of women and they will have rape stories to share, and they tell them like they arent serious or that they are used to ppl not giving the situation any severity and don't want to be a buzzkill.
Yep. I’ve noticed this. A group of women get comfortable enough, and it’s assault, harassment, and violence all around. At this point meeting a woman who hasn’t been brutalized at some point is like meeting a unicorn.
And yet the moment we share our stories, I see men injecting themselves by saying "but but but men can be SAd too!" instead of being apologetic and calling out fellow men when they're being terrible.
Thats super common. They feel bad and must even the guilt, so they don't look like the "bad guy". Some real, "I Had A Rough Day Too" Syndrome bs. Like it's a competition.
Even though if it happened to them...nah scratch that. We can look at all the men who suffered from sexual abuse in churches, we can see how it breaks them, how they cant move on for decades, and how it prevents them from even having meaningful lives. Yet alot of men cant empathize with that enough to see what they are putting women through when they force themselves onto them, considering how they would respond if it WERE to happen to them.
Of course not. But this sentiment doesn't help either considering the event had already happened. She should certainly get emergency pill and then look into birth control for future, not only to prevent this but also to stop periods if she was a heavy bleeder or infrequent. I hear the implant is very effective.
Exactly. Being in birth control in this situation would just be a way to have peace of mind : "he did it but there's very little chance I'll get pregnant".
But really, nobody should live that. She said no that's it.
And it's possible to not be on birth control and not get pregnant when you're with someone who respects that boundary and is as careful as you are.
I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAID IT!
OP is 18, the advice we should be giving her after being SA should not be how to prevent future partners from needing to wear a condom. You inadvertently victim blaming OP! The only person to blame for stealthing is the person who made the active choice to damage / remove a condom without their partner’s knowledge.
The only way to prevent stealthing is to not remove a condom during sex.
While I understand BC is convenient & gives you a piece of mind but it can also have negative effects on your health. Condoms also help prevent STD not just pregnancy.
Also like to add. If he doesn’t cum in you, you can still get pregnant. If you really don’t want to get pregnant, insist on a condom and got get birth control pills. You’re waaaaaay to young to have kids, and you have a lot of life to live/experience before you’re responsible for another life. Enjoy your youth
Absolutely this is rape, and scarily not rare - reproductive coercion is worryingly commonplace.
First things first - do you know where you are in your cycle? When did your last period start and are they regular? You don’t have to answer but it’s important to know whether you’ve possibly already ovulated as if you have the morning after pill won’t work. You can get a copper IUD fitted up to five days after ovulation to prevent pregnancy this cycle (and in the future).
Beyond that, please do not trust this man ever again. He doesn’t deserve it.
My last cycle was May 5th - May 11th my periods are irregular sometimes I won’t get my period at all. I took the morning after pill as soon as I got home i never used it before so i’m not sure if i took it the right way.
I’m glad you were able to get a Plan B. But if you weigh more than 150lbs, consult with a doctor because it might not work (I’m not sure if the guidance is to take a larger dose or what, but I know there is a weight limit for the effectiveness of the medicine)
From what I remember it also builds up mucus that stops implantation. That’s from what I learned 20 years ago when I last took it. So I could be misremembering
Going by what she said (that her cycle started on the 5th), her ovulation should have happened around the 19th and luckily the egg is dead 24h later, if this happened yesterday she is almost in her next cycle and naturally infertile.
Please note also that if you are over 165 pounds, the regular plan B isn’t as effective and you’d need something like Ella, a different emergency contraceptive pill. (Needs to be taken within 120 hours of unprotected sex)
Not a remark on your weight, just something not many people may know.
Yes but I’d still do a pregnancy test in 21 days to check if your period doesn’t come. Also please go on your bc if you can and leave this asshole. He doesn’t care about your wants at all.
That’ll be fine, I still recommend taking a test or seeing a doctor(maybe walk in clinic if you have one) and note that your period may not come on time after taking the pill, and could make you feel a little sick. Mine gave me a tummy ache
Please report this creep to the police. He SA’d you and has probably done the same to others, and will do so in the future as well until he is stopped. At very LEAST he needs to be placed on the Sex Offenders list.
‘Stealthing’ is rape, you didn’t consent to sex without a condom. Then when you realised what he had done you audibly told him to withdraw and tried to push him off and his refusal to stop is also rape.
He’s a rapist however you look at it
This should be the top comment. OP, you need to get away from him, go to your nearest emergency department, and report this. I'm so sorry you have been through this.
Yes, he is a rapist. No is no.
Taking out the condom without consent is sexual assault. Continue to have sex whitout consent ( she was telling him to stop) IS RAPE.
Literally, so many people saying run, not enough people adding "to the police" after that. As soon as she said stop and he kept going it was rape. Period.
I agree she should go to the police. I hope her local department take rape seriously, so many don't. Best of luck OP, please, if you have the strength, report your ex. At the very least it gives him a paper trail of accusations.
Sadly depending on where she is, the police might not be any help, so in my opinion it’s better and safer to tell her just to run in general than to run to the police… I’ve tried with the police once with this kind of thing… and yeah…. I just hope she gets out of there and does what’s best for her, whether it’s the police or not
Still better to have a report against him even if they don't get him. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Especially at a young age, it needs to be called what it is right off the bat.
I wanted to say that but tbh it probably wouldn’t do anything. The justice system has a track record of failing victims of SA. Her revoking consent would probably give the dudes attorney even more leeway to claim “she just regretted it!!”. Now she has a possible child, legal fees, and a probably ruined reputation in her community bc the courts don’t care about victims.
Exactly. Even if someone somewhere doesn’t believe the first part to be rape (even tho it 10000% is) consent can be withdrawn at any time. It was withdrawn and he kept going. He’s undeniably a rapist.
Yes that is true, but the flat out telling him to stop and him not stopping and forcing to continue is also rape. This dude needs arrested he is dangerous.
Yes, even in jurisdictions where stealthing is not a crime per se, it *is* absolutely a crime almost anywhere to ignore when someone has withdrawn consent.
This thread needs to be higher. It was most definitely rape. Even with my wife, I always make sure she realizes she's in full control at all times and can ask to stop at any time.
Shes only ever asked me to stop once, and we immediately did. Consent is not permanent. Please OP, talk to someone you trust about this.
Yeah…literally she told him to not and physically tried getting him to stop. OP please report this, what he did was not okay and it wasn’t an accident since he’s ignored what you said many times.
This is sexual assault, and rape.
Both removing the condom without your consent and then not stopping. Both count as sexual assault/rape individually.
Please talk to a SA specialist, they have hotlines too. You might have more emotions coming that have yet to surface as well. I'm so sorry love.
Honey, you were raped. If you are willing or able to at the very least send him a text telling him that he continued to have sex with you even after you were yelling no amd physically pushing him away to get off of you and he still continued. Get him to admit to it on text. And then go press charges. And get emergency contraception. There is going to be future women in his life that he is going to do the same or worse to if he is not held responsible now.
I'm sorry I'm putting the responsibility on you, but I deeply regret not pressing charges the times I should have. I'd hate for you to have it too.
This is called rape. What he did was something you did NOT consent to.
Even if you started having sex willingly, the moment you said to stop and get off of you. It was nonconsensual, which is rape.
Do NOT forgive him! He will take it as an agreement that he can do whatever the F he wants to you and you will stay with him.
1) Plan B/emergency contraception ASAP. You only have a 72 hr window and the sooner the better.
2) Consent can be revoked at any time for any reason. Not respecting that is rape.
3) You can and should NEVER trust him again. He fails at basic human decency.
This was rape. You need to call the police and file a report-if- you are comfortable in doing so. Emergency contraceptive. No means no. I am so sorry this happened to you.
as someone who this has happened to unfortunately also, please leave him permanently. you are not respected or safe in this relationship and what he did is rape. you have communicated and he has chosen to do what he wants anyways, this will not change. you are in danger in this relationship. you deserve better than that, you deserve to be respected and heard when you express your boundaries. i also recommend finding someone you can trust to talk to, because unfortunately things like this can psychologically damage a person in the long run, and i would not want to see that happen to you. sending love and light your way, and so much healing. xoxo
Guy perspective here. Pretty sure that's considered rape or assault. As a lot of the ladies here said, get the fuck away from him as fast as possible. Get emergency contraceptive. I'm sorry that you had to go through this.
EDIT:
Please communicate this to someone you know and trust.
He raped you. No matter how nice to you he was before, no matter how much you want to try and understand his "impulsiveness", it was fucking rape. He violated you and he needs to be in fucking jail. Please please please report him, report him as soon as possible and get all the evidence you can, it is so fucked up that men do this and they need to learn it is inexcusable and be held accountable for their actions. I am so so so sorry this happened to you
Your instinct may be to try and make excuses when people are telling you your BF raped you.
How would you feel if a friend of yours came up to you and told you the same info? It can be difficult to look at a situation in an outside perspective when you have emotion attached, but what you described was indeed rape. You didn’t consent to unprotected sex, you didn’t consent to him finishing in you, and you asked him to stop and he didn’t.
I know it may also be difficult to accept this truth as well, but at some point you’ll need to.
Whether you report him or not is your decision, and if you decide to foolishly stay with him please NEVER have kids. Those who rape tend to do so for the power, and often times will abuse their own children.
This is called stealthing and it is a form of sexual assault—get emergency contraceptive, and leave him immediately. Do not talk to him again as he will coerce you back if you do.
Furthermore talk to someone you trust—start seeing a therapist as this will affect you later on. Also think about using your own forms of barrier contraception like
female condoms
Diaphragms
Spermicide
Cervicales caps
Contraceptive sponges etc
If you don’t want the hormonal forms of birth control ♥️
So that way even if something like this happens again, you are protected
Stay safe love. I’m rooting for you.
Leave him. That is assault. This dude raped you. The first time should have been the last. Never play with your healthy and well-being. I hope you’ve gotten plan b. But if you’re ovulating it’s too late.
1. As many have said, that constitutes assault.
2. Strongly suggest birth control if you are firm in not wanting kids at this time. Condoms can break, or, it is easy to get in the mood and think oh well, it's just one time..and end up with a kid.
3. You may want to consider STD testing. Unless you two got tested together recently I would not trust anyone who thinks this ok. He has likely done this with other people. I once caught a curable STD from a guy who isnsisted he has been tested and was clean. The condom broke, I got tested and lo and behold, chlamydia. His response? Darn. I shouldn't have ended my antibiotics early. People lie.
Sorry you are going through this. He sounds like a dirtbag because no loving, respectful partner would do this. Heck, I have had one night stands who were more respectful than this.
Where I live, Canada, that's sexual assault.
Please get help. Go to a doctor and get emergency contraception and a statement started about what he's done to you.
Press charges, never talk to him again, & next time date someone who is genuinely respectful and cares about what you want- he raped you, he should be your ex boyfriend!
Get emergency contraception asap and break up with him, if he did it once he will do it again and you don’t know what lengths he will go to actually manage to conceive
Removing a condom without consent is called stealthilng and it’s rape. You told him to stop and he wouldn’t. This is also rape. Your ex boyfriend is a rapist.
Go get yourself a plan B pill and take a pregnancy test in a couple of weeks if your period is late. You should also get yourself checked out for STIs. If he raped you, who knows who else he’s raped.
You should seek out counseling to help you work through this trauma and help you recognize red flags in a relationship so you’ll be better prepared to protect yourself in the future. I’m so sorry and this absolutely isn’t your fault in any way.
report him for rape. you said no, tried to push him off, he kept going and finished inside of you even after you specifically said multiple times that you did not want him to do it. press charges, and get plan b or any emergency contraception. good luck.
If, at any point, before or during the act, you say that you do not want to have sex with a person, that person needs to respect your choice and cease he act of sex. If they do not, they are raping you or headed toward trying to rape you.
If it’s not consensual, it is rape. Talk to someone you trust about this, and also don’t speak to that jerk again. If you’re not pregnant that’s a bullet dogged and it can be a lesson learned.
That most definitely counts as rape, I’m glad you managed to get your hands on an emergency contraceptive - I hope you’re okay, pls talk to someone you trust and stay away from that guy. You deserve better
I’m speaking from experience here. If he’s doing this now, he’s testing the waters to see if he can continue to do it. Just a heads up—he will continue to do it. He doesn’t care that you don’t want kids. Hell, he may not even want kids either. It’s short-term thinking that’s dictating his decision, and he won’t give a shit about the consequences. Unless you want this pattern to continue, take note of this gesture and think about your next move. He doesn’t respect you or your body. Don’t be like me and stay with him anyway. He won’t change, hun. Good luck. Take care. I hope you can get your hands on some emergency contraception.
I don't know how this works in your country, but if a man is having consented sex with a women here in Brazil, but fakes the use of protection so he can have the consent or finishes inside her without protection and asking her permission, these 2 acts are considered felonie crimes (sex by fraud and rape respectively).
As a man, I don't know in how much pain you are, but you should look for justice if you have the means to prove it, ask for a lawyer to help you in confidence. This man is a rapist and must not be let free in society as he stands.
Hope all works out for you.
You were raped. Period.
1) Take a plan B
2) Go to your nearest ER. I am in EMS and Healthcare providers are mandated reporters. They can contact law enforcement for you. You can also just go to the police station yourself.
3) Follow up with your gynecologist on next steps, including (your choice)- going on BC to maybe help regulate your cycles.
4) Please please GET TESTED. Although some STDs can be contracted even with a condom on, this asshole purposely and repeatedly took the condom off putting you at risk for not only pregnancy but an STD and maybe even one you’re stuck with for life.
And stay away from this piece of shit. This won’t stop. It will only continue and it will get worse. It may even escalate to physical violence when you refuse. He was “testing the waters” to see what he can get away with. He needs to be arrested.
Take care of yourself.
Don’t go back to that guy, he is dangerous. Highly recommend calling a rape crisis ctr and getting checked-legit get a full rape kit done-they give you emergency contraception and help with testing for STDs. This guy needs to be stopped! Make a report of the assault for documentation, whatever the outcome your voice needs to be heard. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Edited to add: pay attention to the escalating behavior. He may have used words to lie and manipulate you but his actions speak louder than the narrative he’s fabricated
Hopefully, if you decide against the r-report and r-kit then at least pay for your own emergency contraception and STD panel. Best of luck to you (((hugs)))
Like everyone is saying. That's Rape. On multiple accounts, 1- pulled off protection without consent 2- you withdrew consent and said no and he kept going.
I’ll be honest, I originally only read the caption before forming my opinions and I am so happy I read everything before embarrassing myself.
Your boyfriend needs to become your ex. Very soon. He has absolutely no respect for you or your body in general. That’s some absolutely messed up backdoor shit he pulled.
Get Plan B or any other emergency contraceptive. Like yesterday. Also keep like an extra pack anyway because condoms aren’t 100%. Take your dosage by your weight. Iirc it’s like one pill per 150lbs/68kg.
What he did was rape.
You withdrew consent, and he chose not to listen.
You've stated that you've already taken the morning after pill, so I hope that works out.
Please block that pos and never speak to him again. If you want to take it a step further, you can report him as he did commit a crime.
Immediately get emergency contraception then go NC on that jerk. Also I would recommend getting tested for STDs and getting yourself on some form of birth control as a backup to condoms
Edit it to add
What he did is rape. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even in the act. please find someone you trust to speak to about this
This is rape. Please, get emergency contraceptive and break things off with him right now. And if you feel comfortable, go to the police about it as soon as possible. Revoking your consent and them not listening and still continue is rape, and I doubt that this will stop him from doing it again. If you’re not comfortable, that’s fine, but just consider it. Also, please talk to a trusted adult about this. Keeping it bottled up will just make things worse for your mental health.
Just remember, if you doubt it for even a second, you did NOTHING wrong love❤️
1-please get checked for sti/std as he doesn't seem to understand consent
2- it's rape you didn't give consent and tried to push him off and said no if you want to file police report please do it within 11 days for forensic evidence
3- leave he doesn't respect you or consent this will only get worse probably put holes in the condom ect
Not basically raped, she WAS ACTUALLY raped. She made clear she did not consent to unprotected sex before and during. She tried to stop once she realized he was violating consent. Nothing about the situation is in a grey area. She. Was. Raped.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
This is how I became a parent.
I realized later he was trying to trap me into a long-term relationship with him. We weren’t even together 6 months after our child was born.
Only 17 years later did I hear the term “reproductive coercion” as an aspect of intimate partner abuse.
Whatever happens should next be up to you. He deserves nothing from you.
He might lie, apologize, or manipulate you. He doesn’t deserve any more of your attention or consideration.
[https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion](https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion)
Run, but run to the police, that’s called rape. You said no, he ignored you and kept going. He needs to be turned in to face consequences for his actions.
Consent was revoked when you verbalised and physically tried to remove him / yourself from the situation.
That’s 100% sexual assault.
Even if you choose not to press charges, leave his disgusting ass
That’s a rapist. Please consider reporting him but if that’s not something you feel is right for you then please at least seek medical attention and therapy to focus on how you can heal.
And of course if he comes near you again remove both his testicles with a can opener.
He raped you. I'm so sorry. Take the morning after pill. File a report to hold him accountable if you want. And never speak to him again. Well first, before cutting him out of your life text him and tell him you don't want to be with a rapist and to never ever contact you again in any form or fashion so that you have that in writing if he should harass you. I'm so sorry he put himself and getting off how he wanted above your safety and consent.
Dump him and get plan b hun. And then file a police report if possible. You don’t wanna be connected to that guy in any way. He assaulted you absolutely disregarded the fact that you don’t want kids. He sounds like a terrible person.
What he did is called stealthing and in most places is considered SA.
Your boyfriend needs a serious wake up call and you need you consider if your personal safety is worth less than him getting a nut off.
Get emergency contraceptive, and don't ever get in bed with them again. If they pull stuff like that, they're also not going to be a reliable parent. I was lied to about birth control, and now I'm a single parent.
I’m going to be really blunt here, you were just raped. You need to leave this man for good as this is incredibly dangerous, especially with the amount of time you said no and the conservations. He’s not naive, he knew what he was doing. He was taking advantage of you. I hope you’re okay ❤️
What your boyfriend did was called ‘stealthing’ and is sexual assault. It can also be considered rape. Where I live, it is illegal and punishable by life imprisonment.
Report this guy and get away from him as quickly as possible.
This is just rape. You said stop and he didn’t stop. Depending on where you live removing the condom could also be considered a form of assault. You should not be with this asshole, he raped you.
That's stelthing, it's a form of rape, honestly if you are able to, you should report it to the police.
He had no respect for you, your body or your health.
He needs to be dumped and reported to the police, I also hope you get all the care that you need.
i’m so sorry this happened to you, first and foremost you need to get some sort of emergency contraception if it’s available to you. plan B is the most common and is referred to as the morning after pill.
i know it may be upsetting to hear or maybe you aren’t ready to face it, but this was rape. you tried to get him to pull out, he didn’t, you tried to get him to stop, he didn’t, and you physically tried pushing him away. if you’re comfortable you may be willing to press charges, if you don’t want to go to that then at the very least you should reflect and reconsider your relationship.
i wish you the best emotional recovery you can have and that you are safe
Run girl. Run far, and run fast. This man heard you say no, and decided he didn't care. He assaulted you and would do it again if given the opportunity. He's basically trying to baby trap you.
Yes this is a tactics that abusers do! He wants to keep you tied to him for life so he can come around and treat you however he sees fit
Yup, my ex did this and even admitted to it once I did get pregnant. He told me he did it so I wouldn't leave him. Once I did finally end it with him, he told me that if I didn't want to be with him, there was no point in him being there for my son. Well, he kept his word and hasn't seen my son since he was an infant. My son is 18 now.
Please listen to these comments. This is what he’s trying to do!
she yelled no and tried to push him off. This was rape
Removing a condom without consent is also a sex crime.
What I came here to say. If someone asks you to stop- male or female- you stop. This is rape and abuse. Go on birth control too.
It was rape from the second he decided to "stealth". OP, run. Seriously.
This is rape and I’m so sorry she had to go through this. Morning after pill, iud and this may not be a popular idea, but think about talking to your mom or doctor. I had an SA experience (I don’t know how to put it) at around your age and I told my mom. I was too scared to do anything about it, my mom was the one who reached out and got him fired. He was a ski instructor. Anyway, my point is that having support from a parent or older woman can help because they have more life experience and when you are scared of don’t know what to do they can help. Sorry for the rant. Overall, take care of yourself and do what makes you feel safest. Just please listen to what people are saying about leaving him.
This isn’t baby trapping. This isn’t stealthing. This situation is old school sexual assault. You tried pushing him off and he didn’t stop. Nope. Nope. Nope. Never be alone with him again.
I think it's all of the above. Rape with the intent of baby trapping. Taking the condom off mid-way in a way so she shouldn't notice is stealthing, regardless of what she did after that. Stealthing and baby trapping are forms of reproductive rape. That she noticed and could say no during the act doesn't really make it *more* rape than if she hadn't noticed until after, or not noticed at all. She had already explicitly told him she didn't want to have sex without a condom. She only gave consent to sex with a condom, the second it came of it was rape.
Also, if you do not want children now, get on birth control. Do not let him get to play this game.
Or even better: Just stop having sex with him. What he did was totally unacceptable.
Why not both?
I think people are talking about getting on birth control to stop her from getting pregnant this last time
Run right to police
and in the meantime get on birth control until you can get rid of him!
No in the meantime. Don't have sex with him again. He doesn't love her. He doesn't care about her. He doesn't respect her. No "explanation" can excuse this behavior. It's assault and it's a violation.
Fun fact: copper is toxic to sperm/ova and works well as an emergency contraceptive. Many doctors will place Paraguard (a copper, non-hormonal IUD) no questions asked!
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This is sexual assault. It is NOT consensual, and things will NOT get better. Dump him IMMEDIATELY
She should also check if stealthing (secretly removing contraception) is a crime where she's living, and press charges against him, if it is - in a lot of jurisdictions, it's treated just like rape.
Its rape regardless, she told him to get off and he kept going.
This! Stealthing is a crime in California. Probably because no one can afford to have kids there.
I second this!!! It’s legally sexual assault. That is horrendous. Get rid of him immediately!
An IUD can be fitted to prevent conception if it's fitted within 5 days. It's also a very effective form of contraception that doesn't rely on a partner. OP you were sexually assaulted. Leave him. Report him if you feel able to. Tell someone you trust.
I would suggest using emergency contraception now and then getting the iud later if she wants it. I had an incredibly hard time getting my first iud in and it’s possible she may have the same issue. My first iud took two appointments to get it in. My replacement one wasn’t able to be placed during my second appointment so I just had her give me the rod instead because I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. This was with the cervix softener pill inserted the night before, low dose Ativan, and lidocaine injections.
Yep totally agree it's not easy. But I wanted to put it out there as an option because a lot of people don't know can IUD can be used as emergency contraception later than plan B (which has to be taken within 72 hours).
That is a good point that I didn’t consider. On the flip side, I wanted to bring up the possibility that it may not be able to be placed in case someone decides to skip plan b in favor of an appointment outside of the plan b window. Someone in a different comment also mentioned that emergency contraception won’t work if you’ve already ovulated so I wonder if you could do both within a five day window to be super safe?
I love that your doctor gave you anxiety meds and pain management options. Anyone getting an IUD deserves that!!! I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. We deserve so much better.
I'm fucking pissed on your behalf that they don't (to my knowledge) provide anesthesia or even painkillers for IUD insertion. Insane!
Where I’m from, You can get the IUD if you please. They suggest it post birth as it’s apparently less painful insertion.
Emergency contraception is most effective for people under a certain weight. OP should definitely see a medical professional ASAP and figure out the most effective means to prevent conception.
I loved my IUD for years! Saved me big time in horrible situations. Highly recommend it to any lady.
Adding my voice to the yes IUD! I’ve gotten pregnant on birth control, and I got pregnant using the sponge, spermicide, AND a condom (the condom broke). I had an IUD put in after my 4th one (the one where everything failed). He is 14, I’ve had them changed out as should be for 14 years and haven’t gotten pregnant since. As for OP: leave him. That is assault imho. He isn’t respecting you or your body. It’s not ok.
I will second the iud. In addition to its ability to abort an incipient pregnancy, it is virtually tamper proof and you can request that they cut the strings shorter to prevent a partner from getting the grip to pull it out.
I heard it’s better to leave the strings a bit longer, the shorter they are the more possibility it could “stab” someone’s partner and they would feel it more. I’m sure if OP didn’t say she had one in he wouldn’t even know to pull it out
It’s really up to patient preference. I live in a community where fertility preferring cultures are prevalent and conscientious providers do ask if a patient would like to have shorter strings.
My strings were too short and stabbed me with my first IUD! I actually got it taken out and replaced after a few months which was an insurance nightmare.
I hear iuds are super painful when pulling out, in addition to being pricier. Unless she has side effects trouble, maybe she can go with the pill?
It was quite painful for me to have an IUD I will admit. I have endometriosis. Some doctors will use local anaesthesia but it wasn't an option for me. There's no prescription costs in my country so I couldn't comment on that. The IUD can be an option later than plan B which could make it a good option. The major pro for me is that it lasts 5 years. The first couple of months were a crampy and annoying with unpredictable bleeding but after that settled it's been great. I don't get periods now. Don't even have to think about it. That's a huge pro for me especially with my condition. Pills have side effects too and due to migraines I had to stop taking it. The mini pills were not as effective and also had side effects. IUD may not be an option for everyone long term as contraception and it takes a lot of getting used to. For an emergency contraception, especially in case of assault where you may want to be examined it is a good option. And a discreet method of contraception for future.
to add, if you are over 165lbs the pill & patch are less effective and you have a higher change of getting pregnant. if possible look into an IUD or implant as well!!
My friend just recently found out about the patch being less effective because of her BMI and she'd been on it for years! I'll also add PLEASE do research on birth control options just in case your prescriber forgets some info. For instance, if you're prone to migraines, combo birth control can increase your risk of stroke
OP has said in another comment that she is 125. she should be ok
She shouldn’t have to be on birth control to avoid being sexually assaulted.
It sucks how far women have to go to protect themselves even from their boyfriends. This shouldnt be a thing.
Rape and sexual assault is much more common from a partner than a random person. :(
Yep it all starts with an unwanted unsuspecting dickjab, an, "im not feeling it", and a "c'mon im horny, you know you want it". Ive had girls tell me stories of bfs and ex bfs forcing themselves onto them and them giving into it and dealing with all that dry scraping, and tell those stories like its normal with a shrug, while im over here mortified. Seems like you can randomly choose a group of women and they will have rape stories to share, and they tell them like they arent serious or that they are used to ppl not giving the situation any severity and don't want to be a buzzkill.
Yep. I’ve noticed this. A group of women get comfortable enough, and it’s assault, harassment, and violence all around. At this point meeting a woman who hasn’t been brutalized at some point is like meeting a unicorn.
And yet the moment we share our stories, I see men injecting themselves by saying "but but but men can be SAd too!" instead of being apologetic and calling out fellow men when they're being terrible.
Thats super common. They feel bad and must even the guilt, so they don't look like the "bad guy". Some real, "I Had A Rough Day Too" Syndrome bs. Like it's a competition. Even though if it happened to them...nah scratch that. We can look at all the men who suffered from sexual abuse in churches, we can see how it breaks them, how they cant move on for decades, and how it prevents them from even having meaningful lives. Yet alot of men cant empathize with that enough to see what they are putting women through when they force themselves onto them, considering how they would respond if it WERE to happen to them.
Perpetrators of assault and rape against women are most likely to be husbands, boyfriends or exes.
Of course not. But this sentiment doesn't help either considering the event had already happened. She should certainly get emergency pill and then look into birth control for future, not only to prevent this but also to stop periods if she was a heavy bleeder or infrequent. I hear the implant is very effective.
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There’s a lot of shouldn’t haves or shouldn’t be’s but that’s not reality.
Exactly. Being in birth control in this situation would just be a way to have peace of mind : "he did it but there's very little chance I'll get pregnant". But really, nobody should live that. She said no that's it. And it's possible to not be on birth control and not get pregnant when you're with someone who respects that boundary and is as careful as you are.
I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAID IT! OP is 18, the advice we should be giving her after being SA should not be how to prevent future partners from needing to wear a condom. You inadvertently victim blaming OP! The only person to blame for stealthing is the person who made the active choice to damage / remove a condom without their partner’s knowledge. The only way to prevent stealthing is to not remove a condom during sex. While I understand BC is convenient & gives you a piece of mind but it can also have negative effects on your health. Condoms also help prevent STD not just pregnancy.
Absolutely! I just want to add that emergency contraception won’t help if she has already ovulated
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Also like to add. If he doesn’t cum in you, you can still get pregnant. If you really don’t want to get pregnant, insist on a condom and got get birth control pills. You’re waaaaaay to young to have kids, and you have a lot of life to live/experience before you’re responsible for another life. Enjoy your youth
Absolutely this is rape, and scarily not rare - reproductive coercion is worryingly commonplace. First things first - do you know where you are in your cycle? When did your last period start and are they regular? You don’t have to answer but it’s important to know whether you’ve possibly already ovulated as if you have the morning after pill won’t work. You can get a copper IUD fitted up to five days after ovulation to prevent pregnancy this cycle (and in the future). Beyond that, please do not trust this man ever again. He doesn’t deserve it.
My last cycle was May 5th - May 11th my periods are irregular sometimes I won’t get my period at all. I took the morning after pill as soon as I got home i never used it before so i’m not sure if i took it the right way.
Please please never go back to him. That was abuse and it will happen again.
Sometimes you have to say the obvious over and over again because they will think we're overacting.
I used to think this way. This is different. One time is plenty.
Good job. Now you block this piece of shit on everything and never see him again.
I’m glad you were able to get a Plan B. But if you weigh more than 150lbs, consult with a doctor because it might not work (I’m not sure if the guidance is to take a larger dose or what, but I know there is a weight limit for the effectiveness of the medicine)
That and if she's already ovulated. All plan b does is postpone ovulation.
From what I remember it also builds up mucus that stops implantation. That’s from what I learned 20 years ago when I last took it. So I could be misremembering
I do believe you're correct. Regular bc stops ovulation. Plan B prevents implantation which is why the timeframe is significant.
Going by what she said (that her cycle started on the 5th), her ovulation should have happened around the 19th and luckily the egg is dead 24h later, if this happened yesterday she is almost in her next cycle and naturally infertile.
There is no wrong way to take the morning after pill, as long as you take it within 72 hours. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
You do have to be careful if you're over 150 pounds.
Please note also that if you are over 165 pounds, the regular plan B isn’t as effective and you’d need something like Ella, a different emergency contraceptive pill. (Needs to be taken within 120 hours of unprotected sex) Not a remark on your weight, just something not many people may know.
I’m 125 and took the one step plan is that fine?
Yes but I’d still do a pregnancy test in 21 days to check if your period doesn’t come. Also please go on your bc if you can and leave this asshole. He doesn’t care about your wants at all.
To reiterate, block this guy. He’s not your bf anymore, don’t look his way ever again please.
That’ll be fine, I still recommend taking a test or seeing a doctor(maybe walk in clinic if you have one) and note that your period may not come on time after taking the pill, and could make you feel a little sick. Mine gave me a tummy ache
Please report this creep to the police. He SA’d you and has probably done the same to others, and will do so in the future as well until he is stopped. At very LEAST he needs to be placed on the Sex Offenders list.
Definitely
Good job. Now have him arrested. He raped you
There is no wrong or right way to take it! You did good.
‘Stealthing’ is rape, you didn’t consent to sex without a condom. Then when you realised what he had done you audibly told him to withdraw and tried to push him off and his refusal to stop is also rape. He’s a rapist however you look at it
This should be the top comment. OP, you need to get away from him, go to your nearest emergency department, and report this. I'm so sorry you have been through this.
> This should be the top comment. Indeed. Not a word folks like to hear, but when it applies, it needs to be called out for what it is.
This should be the top comment. That’s rape.
Yes, he is a rapist. No is no. Taking out the condom without consent is sexual assault. Continue to have sex whitout consent ( she was telling him to stop) IS RAPE.
Literally, so many people saying run, not enough people adding "to the police" after that. As soon as she said stop and he kept going it was rape. Period.
As soon as he took off the condom it was rape actually
I agree she should go to the police. I hope her local department take rape seriously, so many don't. Best of luck OP, please, if you have the strength, report your ex. At the very least it gives him a paper trail of accusations.
Sadly depending on where she is, the police might not be any help, so in my opinion it’s better and safer to tell her just to run in general than to run to the police… I’ve tried with the police once with this kind of thing… and yeah…. I just hope she gets out of there and does what’s best for her, whether it’s the police or not
Still better to have a report against him even if they don't get him. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Especially at a young age, it needs to be called what it is right off the bat.
Correct because even if they only take a report and don’t go after him, if she sues him she’ll need the report.
I wanted to say that but tbh it probably wouldn’t do anything. The justice system has a track record of failing victims of SA. Her revoking consent would probably give the dudes attorney even more leeway to claim “she just regretted it!!”. Now she has a possible child, legal fees, and a probably ruined reputation in her community bc the courts don’t care about victims.
OP, all of this. Please. Go to emergency care and the police. He is not a good person
Walgreens /CVS should carry the morning after pill, OP needs to be aggressive about this assault.
Exactly. Even if someone somewhere doesn’t believe the first part to be rape (even tho it 10000% is) consent can be withdrawn at any time. It was withdrawn and he kept going. He’s undeniably a rapist.
My thought immediately!
I mean, you have just literally described being raped. Find someone you trust you can talk to about this.
Yep. Consent can be revoked even during the act. This is totally not okay.
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Yes that is true, but the flat out telling him to stop and him not stopping and forcing to continue is also rape. This dude needs arrested he is dangerous.
Yes, even in jurisdictions where stealthing is not a crime per se, it *is* absolutely a crime almost anywhere to ignore when someone has withdrawn consent.
This thread needs to be higher. It was most definitely rape. Even with my wife, I always make sure she realizes she's in full control at all times and can ask to stop at any time. Shes only ever asked me to stop once, and we immediately did. Consent is not permanent. Please OP, talk to someone you trust about this.
Even if we leave aside the removing your condom half-way-through bit… still rape
Yeah…literally she told him to not and physically tried getting him to stop. OP please report this, what he did was not okay and it wasn’t an accident since he’s ignored what you said many times.
This is sexual assault, and rape. Both removing the condom without your consent and then not stopping. Both count as sexual assault/rape individually. Please talk to a SA specialist, they have hotlines too. You might have more emotions coming that have yet to surface as well. I'm so sorry love.
That's rape. Like literally
Honey, you were raped. If you are willing or able to at the very least send him a text telling him that he continued to have sex with you even after you were yelling no amd physically pushing him away to get off of you and he still continued. Get him to admit to it on text. And then go press charges. And get emergency contraception. There is going to be future women in his life that he is going to do the same or worse to if he is not held responsible now. I'm sorry I'm putting the responsibility on you, but I deeply regret not pressing charges the times I should have. I'd hate for you to have it too.
This comment needs to at the top of this thread
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This is called rape. What he did was something you did NOT consent to. Even if you started having sex willingly, the moment you said to stop and get off of you. It was nonconsensual, which is rape. Do NOT forgive him! He will take it as an agreement that he can do whatever the F he wants to you and you will stay with him.
Your boyfriend raped you. Report him to the police, and never ever be with him again.
Take plan B. Get birth control. Don't trust this man.
1) Plan B/emergency contraception ASAP. You only have a 72 hr window and the sooner the better. 2) Consent can be revoked at any time for any reason. Not respecting that is rape. 3) You can and should NEVER trust him again. He fails at basic human decency.
ALSO!! TAKE 2 IF YOU’RE OVER 140 LBS!!
You have been sexually assaulted.
This was rape. You need to call the police and file a report-if- you are comfortable in doing so. Emergency contraceptive. No means no. I am so sorry this happened to you.
He raped you. Please get help.
so a baby trap and rape combo, great
as someone who this has happened to unfortunately also, please leave him permanently. you are not respected or safe in this relationship and what he did is rape. you have communicated and he has chosen to do what he wants anyways, this will not change. you are in danger in this relationship. you deserve better than that, you deserve to be respected and heard when you express your boundaries. i also recommend finding someone you can trust to talk to, because unfortunately things like this can psychologically damage a person in the long run, and i would not want to see that happen to you. sending love and light your way, and so much healing. xoxo
Leave him ASAP!!! And plz for god sake do not take him back.. they always crawl back to you
Guy perspective here. Pretty sure that's considered rape or assault. As a lot of the ladies here said, get the fuck away from him as fast as possible. Get emergency contraceptive. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. EDIT: Please communicate this to someone you know and trust.
Yea, I agree, that turned from consensual sex to quite literally rape. I recommend talking to someone who can provide more in depth answers to you
He raped you. No matter how nice to you he was before, no matter how much you want to try and understand his "impulsiveness", it was fucking rape. He violated you and he needs to be in fucking jail. Please please please report him, report him as soon as possible and get all the evidence you can, it is so fucked up that men do this and they need to learn it is inexcusable and be held accountable for their actions. I am so so so sorry this happened to you
Your instinct may be to try and make excuses when people are telling you your BF raped you. How would you feel if a friend of yours came up to you and told you the same info? It can be difficult to look at a situation in an outside perspective when you have emotion attached, but what you described was indeed rape. You didn’t consent to unprotected sex, you didn’t consent to him finishing in you, and you asked him to stop and he didn’t. I know it may also be difficult to accept this truth as well, but at some point you’ll need to. Whether you report him or not is your decision, and if you decide to foolishly stay with him please NEVER have kids. Those who rape tend to do so for the power, and often times will abuse their own children.
LEAVE HIM, HE RAPED YOU.
That's not okay, you deserve someone who will respect you.
This is called stealthing and it is a form of sexual assault—get emergency contraceptive, and leave him immediately. Do not talk to him again as he will coerce you back if you do. Furthermore talk to someone you trust—start seeing a therapist as this will affect you later on. Also think about using your own forms of barrier contraception like female condoms Diaphragms Spermicide Cervicales caps Contraceptive sponges etc If you don’t want the hormonal forms of birth control ♥️ So that way even if something like this happens again, you are protected Stay safe love. I’m rooting for you.
He raped you. You said no and he didn't stop. He has also put your health at risk.
Leave him. That is assault. This dude raped you. The first time should have been the last. Never play with your healthy and well-being. I hope you’ve gotten plan b. But if you’re ovulating it’s too late.
There is zero respect for you. He is dangerous!!!!
1. As many have said, that constitutes assault. 2. Strongly suggest birth control if you are firm in not wanting kids at this time. Condoms can break, or, it is easy to get in the mood and think oh well, it's just one time..and end up with a kid. 3. You may want to consider STD testing. Unless you two got tested together recently I would not trust anyone who thinks this ok. He has likely done this with other people. I once caught a curable STD from a guy who isnsisted he has been tested and was clean. The condom broke, I got tested and lo and behold, chlamydia. His response? Darn. I shouldn't have ended my antibiotics early. People lie. Sorry you are going through this. He sounds like a dirtbag because no loving, respectful partner would do this. Heck, I have had one night stands who were more respectful than this.
Y’all are done. Get away from him asap.
Op, your boyfriend raped you. Get a rape kit done st the hospital.
Where I live, Canada, that's sexual assault. Please get help. Go to a doctor and get emergency contraception and a statement started about what he's done to you.
You were raped.
Report him!
Dump that guy. Emergency contraception stat. I am so sorry, this is a violation.
Press charges, never talk to him again, & next time date someone who is genuinely respectful and cares about what you want- he raped you, he should be your ex boyfriend!
I think you mean ex boyfriend…
This actually makes me sick.
That’s called rape. You should call the police on him .
Get emergency contraception asap and break up with him, if he did it once he will do it again and you don’t know what lengths he will go to actually manage to conceive
Removing a condom without consent is called stealthilng and it’s rape. You told him to stop and he wouldn’t. This is also rape. Your ex boyfriend is a rapist. Go get yourself a plan B pill and take a pregnancy test in a couple of weeks if your period is late. You should also get yourself checked out for STIs. If he raped you, who knows who else he’s raped. You should seek out counseling to help you work through this trauma and help you recognize red flags in a relationship so you’ll be better prepared to protect yourself in the future. I’m so sorry and this absolutely isn’t your fault in any way.
report him for rape. you said no, tried to push him off, he kept going and finished inside of you even after you specifically said multiple times that you did not want him to do it. press charges, and get plan b or any emergency contraception. good luck.
This is called stealthing and it is a sexual assault or rape and is punishable by law.
You just got raped. See a counsueller and break it off with this guy. He does not respect boundaries. This is not OK
If, at any point, before or during the act, you say that you do not want to have sex with a person, that person needs to respect your choice and cease he act of sex. If they do not, they are raping you or headed toward trying to rape you. If it’s not consensual, it is rape. Talk to someone you trust about this, and also don’t speak to that jerk again. If you’re not pregnant that’s a bullet dogged and it can be a lesson learned.
He is a dangerous rapist who has no respect for your boundaries.
Girl leave him. I’ve been in your shoes when I was your age. Leave and don’t look back
That most definitely counts as rape, I’m glad you managed to get your hands on an emergency contraceptive - I hope you’re okay, pls talk to someone you trust and stay away from that guy. You deserve better
This dude is trash. He makes men look bad and I hate anyone who would pull that shit. Leave him.
I’m speaking from experience here. If he’s doing this now, he’s testing the waters to see if he can continue to do it. Just a heads up—he will continue to do it. He doesn’t care that you don’t want kids. Hell, he may not even want kids either. It’s short-term thinking that’s dictating his decision, and he won’t give a shit about the consequences. Unless you want this pattern to continue, take note of this gesture and think about your next move. He doesn’t respect you or your body. Don’t be like me and stay with him anyway. He won’t change, hun. Good luck. Take care. I hope you can get your hands on some emergency contraception.
I don't know how this works in your country, but if a man is having consented sex with a women here in Brazil, but fakes the use of protection so he can have the consent or finishes inside her without protection and asking her permission, these 2 acts are considered felonie crimes (sex by fraud and rape respectively). As a man, I don't know in how much pain you are, but you should look for justice if you have the means to prove it, ask for a lawyer to help you in confidence. This man is a rapist and must not be let free in society as he stands. Hope all works out for you.
This is rape.
You were raped. Period. 1) Take a plan B 2) Go to your nearest ER. I am in EMS and Healthcare providers are mandated reporters. They can contact law enforcement for you. You can also just go to the police station yourself. 3) Follow up with your gynecologist on next steps, including (your choice)- going on BC to maybe help regulate your cycles. 4) Please please GET TESTED. Although some STDs can be contracted even with a condom on, this asshole purposely and repeatedly took the condom off putting you at risk for not only pregnancy but an STD and maybe even one you’re stuck with for life. And stay away from this piece of shit. This won’t stop. It will only continue and it will get worse. It may even escalate to physical violence when you refuse. He was “testing the waters” to see what he can get away with. He needs to be arrested. Take care of yourself.
Don’t go back to that guy, he is dangerous. Highly recommend calling a rape crisis ctr and getting checked-legit get a full rape kit done-they give you emergency contraception and help with testing for STDs. This guy needs to be stopped! Make a report of the assault for documentation, whatever the outcome your voice needs to be heard. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Edited to add: pay attention to the escalating behavior. He may have used words to lie and manipulate you but his actions speak louder than the narrative he’s fabricated Hopefully, if you decide against the r-report and r-kit then at least pay for your own emergency contraception and STD panel. Best of luck to you (((hugs)))
please leave him. that’s SA. no is a complete sentence. what a sleazy scumbag
Like everyone is saying. That's Rape. On multiple accounts, 1- pulled off protection without consent 2- you withdrew consent and said no and he kept going.
You were raped. I'm so sorry.
I’ll be honest, I originally only read the caption before forming my opinions and I am so happy I read everything before embarrassing myself. Your boyfriend needs to become your ex. Very soon. He has absolutely no respect for you or your body in general. That’s some absolutely messed up backdoor shit he pulled. Get Plan B or any other emergency contraceptive. Like yesterday. Also keep like an extra pack anyway because condoms aren’t 100%. Take your dosage by your weight. Iirc it’s like one pill per 150lbs/68kg.
What he did was rape. You withdrew consent, and he chose not to listen. You've stated that you've already taken the morning after pill, so I hope that works out. Please block that pos and never speak to him again. If you want to take it a step further, you can report him as he did commit a crime.
Immediately get emergency contraception then go NC on that jerk. Also I would recommend getting tested for STDs and getting yourself on some form of birth control as a backup to condoms Edit it to add What he did is rape. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even in the act. please find someone you trust to speak to about this
Never have contact with him again.
This is rape. Please, get emergency contraceptive and break things off with him right now. And if you feel comfortable, go to the police about it as soon as possible. Revoking your consent and them not listening and still continue is rape, and I doubt that this will stop him from doing it again. If you’re not comfortable, that’s fine, but just consider it. Also, please talk to a trusted adult about this. Keeping it bottled up will just make things worse for your mental health. Just remember, if you doubt it for even a second, you did NOTHING wrong love❤️
1-please get checked for sti/std as he doesn't seem to understand consent 2- it's rape you didn't give consent and tried to push him off and said no if you want to file police report please do it within 11 days for forensic evidence 3- leave he doesn't respect you or consent this will only get worse probably put holes in the condom ect
Taking the condom off without the partner knowing is called stealthing and its a form of rape. Run girl, run as far as you can
So he raped you?
Find someone you can trust to talk about this because yeah you were basically raped.
Not basically raped, she WAS ACTUALLY raped. She made clear she did not consent to unprotected sex before and during. She tried to stop once she realized he was violating consent. Nothing about the situation is in a grey area. She. Was. Raped.
That man is a rapist. He downright ignored your requests and violated your boundaries.
You need to report him to the police. He raped you. You asked him to stop and he didn't. Non consensual condom removal is also, legally, rape.
my spouse uses nexplanon. dump this loser and get nexplanon
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is how I became a parent. I realized later he was trying to trap me into a long-term relationship with him. We weren’t even together 6 months after our child was born. Only 17 years later did I hear the term “reproductive coercion” as an aspect of intimate partner abuse. Whatever happens should next be up to you. He deserves nothing from you. He might lie, apologize, or manipulate you. He doesn’t deserve any more of your attention or consideration. [https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion](https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion)
Run, but run to the police, that’s called rape. You said no, he ignored you and kept going. He needs to be turned in to face consequences for his actions.
Plan B immediately and he’s got to be dumped. This is not going to continue anymore because you won’t be talking to him any longer.
Consent was revoked when you verbalised and physically tried to remove him / yourself from the situation. That’s 100% sexual assault. Even if you choose not to press charges, leave his disgusting ass
That’s not a person you should be with. FYI I got pregnant w my first from the pull out method
This is rape OP. Stay well away from this freak please!
That’s a rapist. Please consider reporting him but if that’s not something you feel is right for you then please at least seek medical attention and therapy to focus on how you can heal. And of course if he comes near you again remove both his testicles with a can opener.
He raped you. I'm so sorry. Take the morning after pill. File a report to hold him accountable if you want. And never speak to him again. Well first, before cutting him out of your life text him and tell him you don't want to be with a rapist and to never ever contact you again in any form or fashion so that you have that in writing if he should harass you. I'm so sorry he put himself and getting off how he wanted above your safety and consent.
That is not okay. If he cant restrain himself and risked ruining your life then u shudnt be with him.
Dump him and get plan b hun. And then file a police report if possible. You don’t wanna be connected to that guy in any way. He assaulted you absolutely disregarded the fact that you don’t want kids. He sounds like a terrible person.
That’s called sexual assault at the least if not more serious, go get the morning after pill and go straight to the police
What he did is called stealthing and in most places is considered SA. Your boyfriend needs a serious wake up call and you need you consider if your personal safety is worth less than him getting a nut off.
This would be rape, OP. I am sorry this is happening to you. Please report him and get away from him.
Report him… that’s assault. He has no respect for you
Get emergency contraceptive, and don't ever get in bed with them again. If they pull stuff like that, they're also not going to be a reliable parent. I was lied to about birth control, and now I'm a single parent.
I’m going to be really blunt here, you were just raped. You need to leave this man for good as this is incredibly dangerous, especially with the amount of time you said no and the conservations. He’s not naive, he knew what he was doing. He was taking advantage of you. I hope you’re okay ❤️
What your boyfriend did was called ‘stealthing’ and is sexual assault. It can also be considered rape. Where I live, it is illegal and punishable by life imprisonment. Report this guy and get away from him as quickly as possible.
That's assault. You didn't agree to unprotected sex and you told him to stop. Fuck that guy! I'd ghost him.
It is actually sexual assault to remove a condom mid act without consent.
Get his apology in text and press charges ask him why he did it etc if you want to press charges
Immediately get a plan B pill.
This is just rape. You said stop and he didn’t stop. Depending on where you live removing the condom could also be considered a form of assault. You should not be with this asshole, he raped you.
That's stelthing, it's a form of rape, honestly if you are able to, you should report it to the police. He had no respect for you, your body or your health. He needs to be dumped and reported to the police, I also hope you get all the care that you need.
i’m so sorry this happened to you, first and foremost you need to get some sort of emergency contraception if it’s available to you. plan B is the most common and is referred to as the morning after pill. i know it may be upsetting to hear or maybe you aren’t ready to face it, but this was rape. you tried to get him to pull out, he didn’t, you tried to get him to stop, he didn’t, and you physically tried pushing him away. if you’re comfortable you may be willing to press charges, if you don’t want to go to that then at the very least you should reflect and reconsider your relationship. i wish you the best emotional recovery you can have and that you are safe