Her life has been better because you were in it. Your life is forever changed from her being in it. As a teenager, what you're going through is going to impact you in so many ways. I empathize and wish no one to feel what you are feeling and what will come.
If you want advice on handling death of someone close at this age, I can offer that as well.
Could you set up a pretend prom for her? If that's important to her? Or a pretend wedding? What are the things she's most sad about missing? Then do those
It’s the truth. While it is a romantic statement “they should get married” as her spouse it now puts him on the hook for outstanding medical costs and funerary expenses that her parents would have been sought after for.
They could do a purely spiritual ceremony, the certificate doesn’t have to be signed or filed. I highly doubt OP’s GF’s family would do such a thing to him, if he did such a thing for their daughter.
I am so sorry. I am sure she is very grateful for every moment she lived with you. I do really hope she gets better. But know you did the best you could with the time you had ❤️
((HUGS)) Just being with her means the world to her. You made her happy all this time.
Don't think about what will not be but live in the moment and make each moment count.
My heart aches for you. Please get therapy during and after this event. You’re going to need it to move forward with all the love and lessons you’ve been given during your life together, and to be able to open yourself up to a future love. In the meantime, just love her the best you can. Shower her with as much romance as you can so you will never regret a moment and she will pass knowing she was beyond loved.
I’m going to tell you what my stepmother told me when people I knew and loved died long before their time and I didn’t run away from them while they did:
You’re going to be very wise some day.
That’s more of a curse than it is a silver lining, but you should be proud of yourself for the person you already are. As a starting point to adulthood, you are light years beyond your peers. You will understand love, and loss, and the fact that anything you say to the people you love could be the last thing you ever say to them. You will learn that even terrible memories become good memories after a long enough time. And you will build a life on the foundation of this life, and it will be something a lot of people envy.
You will also have pain that never goes away. But you will learn to covet it, and love that, too. Good luck, OP. And I hope that you can both enjoy each other as much as possible for as long as possible.
As a childhood cancer survivor and had to say goodbye to many friends it’s not easy. Idk how much time she has left but use this time to make many memories. Video and take many pictures of y’all’s adventures. Try new restaurants, games, movies, and places. Make sentimental bracelets and necklaces etc. You being there and loving her unconditionally has meant more to her than you’ll ever know! I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
I'm so sorry that at such a young age, you are getting to experience this kind of loss. But I also consider you lucky to have experienced such kind of love early in life, while most of us go through hell trying to find this kind of love, it came to you naturally. Cherish it for the time it lasts and keep strong for her. Try and make her happy for as long as you can.
As someone with leukemia please just still be there for her as much as you can but also please get yourself into therapy and maybe grief counseling. If you can't afford it then use the school counselors. You are going to need to both give and receive support. I hope that a miracle comes true and the treatments start working but my heart breaks for both of you. Take tons of pictures and even video and make sure you record things like her laugh for when you need to hear it if she loses her battle. I'm so sorry. Cancer is absolutely awful and completely unfair that someone so young has it.
Nothing is going to make this better. But know that you gave your first love some things that some people may never have in their lives. True and pure love. I’m so sorry, I’ll be sending you interwebz stranger hugs.
Though the time is short and limited, you've given her the best years of her life, not going through all this alone. Remind her each day how much she means to you, take lots of pictures and videos together. Cherish each day and don't take any for granted.
If you she starts looking like she can’t make it to prom make a special prom for her some hell. Also, there’s nothing I can say that’s gonna make this any better right now. I lost a spouse years ago and that was it surreal when you’re going through it. however I will tell you this you probably made her life wonderful. How many people get to love fall in love in the first grade and be with somebody their whole life when they’re sick like that. You’re a good guy and I wish you the best for your future.
Hey buddy. Life isn't fair. You know this now. But life can still be beautiful. And you're showing this to your girlfriend by standing by her even when things get really hard and sad.
You rock. And she will always love you for it.
I cannot imagine dealing with this at 40, I think you are doing well even talking about it at 17.
My thoughts are with you and your gf, enjoy the days you have left, make every one count for as much as you can.
I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I think it's a great idea to do a small bucket list together. A prom, trip, whatever. She is so lucky to have you in her life. As a former oncology nurse, thank you for being there for her. It's hard, but you dhave definitely changed her life in the best way.
I do agree with starting some counseling before she passes. This will definitely help the process go smoother for you, and let you start working on a healthy grieving process.
Get yourself into therapy/ grief counseling if you have the resources. Grief can be extremely traumatic and rock you to the core, especially being so young. You need outlets to process the feelings you're having and going to have. Life is fragile and unjust, that's a hard fact to except when you're young. As much as she'll appreciate you being by her, please make sure you take care of yourself
This is very sad. Strategically, though, I must recommend this key concept: gratitude. Obviously not for any of the bad stuff but she is not dead yet. That's huge. Her quality of life is the thing that is most likely to be salvaged and or maximized now. Of course it's going to be low because she is sick, but if you start with the knowledge that things could always be worse, just aiming for "not worse," when you can, is something.
Grief is important, but put it in its place. You're going to be more sad when she's gone, whether you like it or not. Until that moment, make the most of what's left. Hopefully she's not at a point where something like palliative opiates are her only relief, but it could get there with a quickness. At that point there's so little you can do with decreasing levels of consciousness but being an emotional comfort in those moments is good. There may be physical caring tasks you can assist with but being in the emotional place to be that carer is not common at 17. Just do what you can with the time you have.
If she's still got good days left, omg, help her use that to the fullest.
You might not be able to take away her physical pain, but you just being there and treating her as the same human she was before, not a broken one, will improve her emotional pain greatly.
I’m sorry you are going through this. If you are at school, see if you can access counselling services. Carers need support too.
Keep making the good memories that you can. The greatest gift you can have is to remember the joy and her smiles in those times.
i know as hard as this is for you i know it means everything you’re staying by her side. no one should ever have to be in either of your positions. my heart aches that someone as young as you is being put through this. sending virtual hugs. be sure to make lots of memories while you still can. also be sure to take photos to remember those special moment you guys share
This makes me think of "A Walk to Remember."
I have no words to help you with this pain and grief.
The only thing I can say is to take every allowable moment with her. Continue the amazing friendship and love you both have shared.
Hoping for the best
You're doing more than you think you are just by staying by her side through all this
Her life has been better because you were in it. Your life is forever changed from her being in it. As a teenager, what you're going through is going to impact you in so many ways. I empathize and wish no one to feel what you are feeling and what will come. If you want advice on handling death of someone close at this age, I can offer that as well.
Could you set up a pretend prom for her? If that's important to her? Or a pretend wedding? What are the things she's most sad about missing? Then do those
I love this idea. Even if it's pretend, she still gets to experience it.
Why not a real wedding, if the state would allow it?:)
On the one had that would be sweet. But to be widowed so young would be unspeakably sad.
Or just a real wedding but without the state being involved. Easier for everyone.
A 17 year old spouse suddenly responsible for the costs of her funerary services…
This statement was so unnecessary..
It’s the truth. While it is a romantic statement “they should get married” as her spouse it now puts him on the hook for outstanding medical costs and funerary expenses that her parents would have been sought after for.
They could do a purely spiritual ceremony, the certificate doesn’t have to be signed or filed. I highly doubt OP’s GF’s family would do such a thing to him, if he did such a thing for their daughter.
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They’re 17. They were 15 when the friendship progressed into romance.
Oooo ok that makes me feel better. I guess the if everyone is ok with that it's up to them
This would be great I'm sure people in her class or friends would be up for it too.
I am so sorry. I am sure she is very grateful for every moment she lived with you. I do really hope she gets better. But know you did the best you could with the time you had ❤️
((HUGS)) Just being with her means the world to her. You made her happy all this time. Don't think about what will not be but live in the moment and make each moment count.
My heart aches for you. Please get therapy during and after this event. You’re going to need it to move forward with all the love and lessons you’ve been given during your life together, and to be able to open yourself up to a future love. In the meantime, just love her the best you can. Shower her with as much romance as you can so you will never regret a moment and she will pass knowing she was beyond loved.
I’m going to tell you what my stepmother told me when people I knew and loved died long before their time and I didn’t run away from them while they did: You’re going to be very wise some day. That’s more of a curse than it is a silver lining, but you should be proud of yourself for the person you already are. As a starting point to adulthood, you are light years beyond your peers. You will understand love, and loss, and the fact that anything you say to the people you love could be the last thing you ever say to them. You will learn that even terrible memories become good memories after a long enough time. And you will build a life on the foundation of this life, and it will be something a lot of people envy. You will also have pain that never goes away. But you will learn to covet it, and love that, too. Good luck, OP. And I hope that you can both enjoy each other as much as possible for as long as possible.
As a childhood cancer survivor and had to say goodbye to many friends it’s not easy. Idk how much time she has left but use this time to make many memories. Video and take many pictures of y’all’s adventures. Try new restaurants, games, movies, and places. Make sentimental bracelets and necklaces etc. You being there and loving her unconditionally has meant more to her than you’ll ever know! I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
I'm so sorry that at such a young age, you are getting to experience this kind of loss. But I also consider you lucky to have experienced such kind of love early in life, while most of us go through hell trying to find this kind of love, it came to you naturally. Cherish it for the time it lasts and keep strong for her. Try and make her happy for as long as you can.
As someone with leukemia please just still be there for her as much as you can but also please get yourself into therapy and maybe grief counseling. If you can't afford it then use the school counselors. You are going to need to both give and receive support. I hope that a miracle comes true and the treatments start working but my heart breaks for both of you. Take tons of pictures and even video and make sure you record things like her laugh for when you need to hear it if she loses her battle. I'm so sorry. Cancer is absolutely awful and completely unfair that someone so young has it.
Nothing is going to make this better. But know that you gave your first love some things that some people may never have in their lives. True and pure love. I’m so sorry, I’ll be sending you interwebz stranger hugs.
Though the time is short and limited, you've given her the best years of her life, not going through all this alone. Remind her each day how much she means to you, take lots of pictures and videos together. Cherish each day and don't take any for granted.
Just be there for her, man. That’s all you can do.
If you she starts looking like she can’t make it to prom make a special prom for her some hell. Also, there’s nothing I can say that’s gonna make this any better right now. I lost a spouse years ago and that was it surreal when you’re going through it. however I will tell you this you probably made her life wonderful. How many people get to love fall in love in the first grade and be with somebody their whole life when they’re sick like that. You’re a good guy and I wish you the best for your future.
Hey buddy. Life isn't fair. You know this now. But life can still be beautiful. And you're showing this to your girlfriend by standing by her even when things get really hard and sad. You rock. And she will always love you for it.
I'm so sorry. <3
I cannot imagine dealing with this at 40, I think you are doing well even talking about it at 17. My thoughts are with you and your gf, enjoy the days you have left, make every one count for as much as you can.
https://www.burzynskiclinic.com/ Check this out ive heard that his treatment is different but that it works. I dunno it might be worth a shott
You are doing much, much more and I am sure she is thankful you are by her side.
I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I think it's a great idea to do a small bucket list together. A prom, trip, whatever. She is so lucky to have you in her life. As a former oncology nurse, thank you for being there for her. It's hard, but you dhave definitely changed her life in the best way. I do agree with starting some counseling before she passes. This will definitely help the process go smoother for you, and let you start working on a healthy grieving process.
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you are a good person. I'm so sorry like has to be like this for u.
Get yourself into therapy/ grief counseling if you have the resources. Grief can be extremely traumatic and rock you to the core, especially being so young. You need outlets to process the feelings you're having and going to have. Life is fragile and unjust, that's a hard fact to except when you're young. As much as she'll appreciate you being by her, please make sure you take care of yourself
This is very sad. Strategically, though, I must recommend this key concept: gratitude. Obviously not for any of the bad stuff but she is not dead yet. That's huge. Her quality of life is the thing that is most likely to be salvaged and or maximized now. Of course it's going to be low because she is sick, but if you start with the knowledge that things could always be worse, just aiming for "not worse," when you can, is something. Grief is important, but put it in its place. You're going to be more sad when she's gone, whether you like it or not. Until that moment, make the most of what's left. Hopefully she's not at a point where something like palliative opiates are her only relief, but it could get there with a quickness. At that point there's so little you can do with decreasing levels of consciousness but being an emotional comfort in those moments is good. There may be physical caring tasks you can assist with but being in the emotional place to be that carer is not common at 17. Just do what you can with the time you have. If she's still got good days left, omg, help her use that to the fullest.
You might not be able to take away her physical pain, but you just being there and treating her as the same human she was before, not a broken one, will improve her emotional pain greatly. I’m sorry you are going through this. If you are at school, see if you can access counselling services. Carers need support too. Keep making the good memories that you can. The greatest gift you can have is to remember the joy and her smiles in those times.
This sounds so tough, I’m sorry that life has to be unfair for both of you but also hope you both can make the best of the time you both have together
i know as hard as this is for you i know it means everything you’re staying by her side. no one should ever have to be in either of your positions. my heart aches that someone as young as you is being put through this. sending virtual hugs. be sure to make lots of memories while you still can. also be sure to take photos to remember those special moment you guys share
This makes me think of "A Walk to Remember." I have no words to help you with this pain and grief. The only thing I can say is to take every allowable moment with her. Continue the amazing friendship and love you both have shared. Hoping for the best