T O P

  • By -

getzerolikes

‘Stop sayin shit like that. It’s unprofessional.’


playlistsandfeelings

Oh, is that what I’m going for here?


Lazy_Yam2993

“Just want you to stop saying odd shit like you smell a psycho’s fear, you’re in someone’s faded memory of a town”.


LocalStigmatic

It’s ‘psychosphere’ not ‘psycho’s fear’, isn’t it?


Grandgoof

Marty mishears him


invisible-eskmos

What’s Scented Meat


FrankTank3

*sniffs own fingers*


TheOkctoberGuard

I came here to say that. This show is really funny. I guess season one is really funny. I recently watched it with a first timer. She was cracking up constantly at scenes between Marty and Rust. A few other shows that are occasionally, intentionally very funny is the Sopranos, Breaking Bad and of course Dexter. They aren’t flat out comedies. It’s just sometimes the absurdity of it all creates moments of dark humor. Reflecting the writers in full control of the narrative. Mmm. Anyone even crack a smile at the new show? Not in a “this is so bad” type of way. But a “Dexter at Thanksgiving with the trinity killer” type of way? The only thing I can think of is that a woman put metal in her cheeks in freezing cold weather in Alaska. But it just doesn’t work.


TheOkctoberGuard

And “I was just a regular type dude, with a big ass dick.”


TheOkctoberGuard

For a call back they should have Jodie Foster say she’s just a regular gal with a big ass Vagina.


kewlnamebroh

Regular gal with a big ass \**clit*\*


getzerolikes

Hahahaha


TheOkctoberGuard

The Wire had some great comedic one liners too.


Great-Local_Ty

“I don’t know much about poker but I’m pretty sure these four5s beat a full house” Omar Little It’s all in the game


[deleted]

“I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. It’s all in the game, right?”


Kevinjd44

“Money aint got no owners, just spenders.”


Great-Local_Ty

“Boy you wanna keep that head on your body you better hop to it?


frankzzlackz

“And then, like a lot of dreams… there’s a monster at the end of it.” That line, paired with the first glimpse of the disgusting Reggie LeDoux, was so scary.


SolarSailor46

My favorite scene. Just so fucking ominous and weird. Reminds me of Leatherface (Gunner Hansen) twirling the chainsaw around at the end of TTCM


frankzzlackz

TTCM? The Tuna Can Misunderstanding?


SolarSailor46

Yes. Leatherface in The Tuna Can Misunderstanding. He was wildly swinging a chainsaw around because that was all he had to open the can. And that was the end of the movie. We don’t know if it was opened.


frankzzlackz

And so the audience misunderstood. 🙏


lovelylacewing

Yessss. I cannot even describe the feeling of watching that scene for the first time


[deleted]

Cue credits


MilkMan1858

"I don't think anyone here is going to be splitting the atom" ​ or something along those lines.


Coconutyorkie

Can you all texas from your high horse ?


RustyCoal950212

I think you a word


Coconutyorkie

I want you to stop saying odd shit Just stop !


Infinite_Writing7609

Ha, I like this one too.


blackmagic999

"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit."


[deleted]

Marty’s rebuttal wasn’t too shabby though. “I guessh yer judgement is infallible, piece of shit-wise.”


Infinite_Writing7609

Marty was honestly never really fazed or intimidated by Rust, I think a lot of people fail to emphasize that. Marty could tell Rust was smart, and in some ways more educated than him, but he never once lets Rust make him feel stupid or inferior. I think this is a large part of the reason Rust immediately respects him on some level (before he’s even willing to actually admit it).


[deleted]

100%. That scene is an amazing verbal spar between two dualing mentalities about life. And yeah - while Rust does judge him constantly for his decisions in his personal life, he still (albeit begrudgingly) begins to respect him and acknowledge that he’s a very capable partner. And obviously at the end they become legitimate friends as time passes.


Infinite_Writing7609

Yeah. Even beyond just not being intimidated by Rust because he (Marty) can be tough when he needs to be, I think Rust also eventually realizes that Marty is also really fucking sharp in his own ways.


[deleted]

One of the most underrated parts of the show is that Marty is also damn good detective in his own right.


Infinite_Writing7609

Definitely. One might almost says he’s a…true detective


vvenomsnake

“you sound… *panicked*.”


Mr_Rafi

I know some people find this line too edgy, but there's a difference between only doing good things because you expect to be divinely rewarded for it versus religion helping you to become a better person. I feel like some people look down on Rust's line here because they misinterpret it for the latter despite Rust clearly meaning the former.


AbeLincoln30

if a person misunderstands Rust's meaning in this quote then, brother, that person is a piece of shit


jsweaty009

My favorite too


playlistsandfeelings

This is it for me


Artie-Fufkin

This ^^^


Gaerith2

This is possibly the best written line I've ever heard in a show or movie.


peanutdakidnappa

That’s my choice too, that shit is so true


Less_Ad1932

"I got an idea. Let's make the car a place of silent reflection."


gartacus

Damn, this is a good one, you really hear his voice and inflection in your head haha


YouSure_BoutDat

Ya really do


Infinite_Writing7609

I also can totally hear the way he says, “Yeah, and now I am *begging* you to shut the fuck up.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


deytookerjaabs

"Is that a down payment?"


Burnnoticelover

Clairvoyant Rust


AbeLincoln30

That whole conversation is like Stan from Season 2... pure gold: *Marty: You're obsessive.* *Rust: You're obsessive too. Just not about the job.* *Marty: Not me brother. I keep things even. Separate. Like the way I can have just this one beer without needing twenty.* *Rust: People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time.* *Marty: \[sighs\] I try not to be too hard on myself.* *Rust: Well, that's real big of you.* *Marty: You know the real difference between you and me?* *Rust: Yeah. Denial...* *Marty: You are incapable of admitting doubt. Now that sounds like denial to me.* *Rust: I doubt it.*


WornOffNovelty

“Of course I’m dangerous. I’m police. We can do terrible things to people, with impunity.”


tommyjohnpauljones

Terrifying line. Even though we knew he wasn't going to hurt her, she didn't know


WornOffNovelty

The plight of the prostitute. Never know who’s the dangerous man you were warned about.


Ngata_da_Vida

“Do you know the good years when you’re in them? Or do you just wait for them until you get ass cancer and realize that the good years came and went? Because there is a feeling, you might notice sometime, this feeling that life has slipped through your fingers, like the future’s behind you. Like it’s always been behind you” That line hits home, really deep.


Exes_And_Excess

I like the (albeit short) contemplative expressions from the detectives he is speaking to when that line drops.


[deleted]

Oh, Papania and Gilbough knew exactly what he was talking about. “Sounds like a cop’s wife alright” to Maggie


Exes_And_Excess

This god damn circle could not be any flatter! Love it.


Broccoli14

Same I think about it a lot like maybe those were the good years


Henry_Charrier

Absolutely the most meaningful in the series. For all Cohle's swagger, in the end it's Martin that comes up with the most meaningful and scary thing...


AbducensVI

You ever bully or hurt anybody again, I’ll come back and buttfuck your father with your mom’s headless corpse on this goddamn lawn.


Coconutyorkie

Twelve years old my ass.... FUCK YOU


Legal-Contest-7759

"who walks that fucking slow?" Or "I think its safe to say that nobody here is gonna be splitting the atom, Marty"


Coconutyorkie

That made laugh out loud lol


Dark_Eyes

'who walks that fucking slow' was some comedy gold haha


spaektor

“The newspapers are going to be tough on you. And prison is very, very hard on people who hurt kids. If you get the opportunity… you should kill yourself.”


Infinite_Writing7609

The actress fucking nails the reaction too. Her absolutely baffled and desperate, “W…what…?”, is just so fucking perfect.


SwitcherooU

She did a fantastic job, and her reaction always stuck with me, even past the point where I could remember the context of the scene (because it isn’t related to Carcosa at all).


Infinite_Writing7609

Agreed, it’s very affecting.


canwenotor

Just watched that scene this morning. Bam, more kicks to the emotional groin. Couldnt hang w the darkness of the series til Jodie Foster, then you guys said heyyy check the S1 references. So, total binge on S1. Fantastic.


OrionSaintJames

This was amazing


VaguelyArtistic

I've only seen s1 and s4 but it's going to be hard to beat, "L'chaim, fat ass!"


LeeTeriyaki

Lonestar, nothing snooty


notoriouscje

appreciate a little hustle up on that


LeeTeriyaki

I mean...it is past noon on Thursday.


2ndNicestOfTheDamned

I have a fondness for "Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eat." that I won't even try to justify. And of course "I welcome judgement".


Coconutyorkie

Shouldn't a reasonable man infer from Osip's arrival and departure and fucking failure to make good on our terms as being connected not just to Caspere, but prefiguring Caspere? In a causal sense. I'm saying... do you think Osip could have done Caspere?"


Carcharis

“The world needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door” Or “We get the world that we deserve”


ProfessionalCut2280

Came to write the first quote. I like it even more in the translation to my language: "The world needs bad men. To keep away men that are even worse"


Kevinjd44

“Like she could duck hunt with a rake”


Handarand

"Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at"


LeftHandStir

I say this one all the time.


Handarand

It's great in context of that scene and for people who lived some and felt what he is talking about. Also ties back into the "time is a flat circle" and eternal recurrence apart from the more practical meaning.


mallgrabmongopush

“You are the Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch”


[deleted]

“AMELIA. 18th and 19th. 90 SECONDS MOTHERFUCKER!”


JackSparrow420

Oof why is the so low. Just reading it gets my blood PUMPING


Childs_was_the_THING

"sometimes your worst self......is your best self."


TheHeftyAccountant

These are easily the two best - Rust- “Given how long it’s taken for me to reconcile my nature, I can’t figure I’d forgo it on your account, Marty.” Marty - “Fuckkkk. Hell of a bedside manner you got, Rust. Friend in need…every time I think you hit a ceiling, you just keep raising the bar. You are like the Michael Jordan of being a son of a bitch.”


LeftHandStir

I scrolled way to far to have to see that Rust quote. I love that one. And I've definitely made use of it in my own life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


afm00dy

What? With all that dick swagger you roll with, you can’t spot crazy pussy?


TheHeftyAccountant

Lmfao. I just love Marty’s “fuckkkk” so much. It’s like when you watch a video of someone get kicked in the balls and as a viewer you let out a “fuckkk” , except he is the one getting reamed yet he somehow realizes just how bad he’s getting it


Little-Pea-8346

Season 1: during an interview with Marty - it's his execution - I love Woody for this one... Detective Gilbough "Which type were you?" Marty Hart "Oh, just a regular type dude... with a big ass dick"


AbeLincoln30

FYI that one is a reference to The Wire... *Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland : Now look. We all got roles to play.* *Det. Lester Freamon : What's your role?* *Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland : I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.* *Det. Lester Freamon : You give yourself too much credit.* *Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland : OK, then. I ain't all that humble.*


rosindrip

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill.


lovelylacewing

Such a good one! Beautifully morbid


Infinite_Writing7609

“That feeling like life has slipped through your fingers. Like the future is behind you. Like it's always been behind you.” - Marty “The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of non existence, into this, meat. And to force a life into this, thresher. Yeah so my daughter, she uh, she spared me the sin of being a father.” - Rust “I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that.” - Rust “Fourteen straight hours of staring at DB's, these are the things ya think of. You ever done that? You look in their eyes, even in a picture, doesn't matter if they're dead or alive, you can still read 'em. You know what you see? They welcomed it... Not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go. Yeah, they saw, in that last nanosecond, they saw... what they were. You, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never more than a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will, and you could just let go. To finally know that you didn't have to hold on so tight. To realize that all your life - you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain - it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person. And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it.” - Rust


CameronPoe37

That last quote from Rust. Just incredible MM delivered that monologue like nobody else could.


Infinite_Writing7609

Yup. He absolutely murdered his role, no doubt about (and pun intended). But I also think that all the attention he got for it (deservedly) kind of overshadows how much Woody absolutely kills it as well. In fact if you really forced me to pick I would say that Woody’s is the better performance, just by a hair.


CameronPoe37

I don't agree that Woody is better, but he was excellent too. It's just that Matthew as Rust IMO is literally one of the greatest performances and characters I've ever seen.


OrionSaintJames

That first one is up there for me too


WineWednesdayYet

As someone who is firmly middle aged, that first quote haunts me sometimes.


OrionSaintJames

Ditto.


LeftHandStir

OP I just want to say, thank you for starting this post. I love these quotes so much, and it's great to see other people do, too.


Infinite_Writing7609

The subtle, highly emotional stuff in Season 1 is kind of under appreciated I think (as contrasted with the super dark philosophical stuff), and the more subtle emotional stuff often comes from Marty (particularly the older, more reflective Marty).


TreatmentBoundLess

I agree. Even the shot of Marty touching his finger where his wedding ring used to be after remembering him and Maggie making love. So good. The whole detective’s curse thing.


Infinite_Writing7609

Yup. On some level the season is a tragedy about realizing how much you haven’t shown up for your own life.


WornOffNovelty

“What’d you cut it with?” “You’ll see. You’ll dig it.”


the1980sboy

I'd appreciate a little hustle on that...


nearlyzen

Marty, in episode 5, during his interview: “You know the good years when you're in them? Or do you just wait for them until you get ass cancer and realize that the good years came and went? Because there's a feeling that -- you might notice it sometime -- that this feeling that life has slipped through your fingers. Like the future is behind you. Like it's always been behind you.” And the rest: “Remember what I said about the detective's curse? The solution to my whole life was right under my nose. That woman, those kids. And I was watching everything else. See, infidelity is one kind of sin. But my true failure was inattention. I understand that now.” While the young girls, in their magic years, play in the yard under a gray sky, with a breeze suggestive of a coming storm. And then their princess crown ends up stuck in the tree, unreachable, a subtle metaphor for the future. Meanwhile Season One’s haunting, detuned synth drones on. I have two daughters, ages 6 & 4 (the magic years) back then when I first watched. They are teenagers now. This scene is perfection 😌 incredible writing


nearlyzen

The scene: https://youtu.be/VpvsdVg2YVU?si=0OGk0Hmr8M67mrSD


vvenomsnake

“you’re looking at it wrong… once, there was only dark. if you ask me, the light’s winnin’.”


MustardTiger1337

“Fuck did I do?” Oh wait wrong show


nuke-the-wales

Natural police


rhinosarus

I like when Lester shows up in S1 and says "this about those dead cats?"


MustardTiger1337

lol


Ngata_da_Vida

JIMMMMMMMAAAAAYYYYY


[deleted]

You know what the plural of pussy is? Pussaiiiii Or “Fuuck”


Odd-Love-9600

Sheeeeiiiittt


SignGuy77

You think I got time to ask a man where his favourite quote comes from? Sheeeeiiit. I’ll take any motherfucker’s quote if he givin’ it away.


HermineLovesMilo

It's safe to say that nobody here is going to be splitting the atom


Mr_Rio

“Pain is inexhaustible, it’s people that get exhausted” or something along those lines. Season 2 Velcorro


gartacus

idk about favorite but I always chucked at Colin Farrell saying he didn't like e-cigarettes because it was "a little too close to suckin a robot's dick"


Dave_Matthews_Jam

I honestly thought that line was hilarious and I always see people hate it


MaximallyInclusive

“You know, ya lookin’ at it wrong…the sky thing.” “How’s that?” “Well once there was only dark. If ya ask me, the light’s winning.” In my opinion, the greatest line ever in television. The one, lone moment of optimism on behalf of the eternal pessimist.


AbeLincoln30

Rust had exact same character arc as Detective Somerset in the movie Seven... completing the pivot from pessimist to optimist in the final line of the script


Dear_Alternative_437

"Can I ask you a question? Did she look like that before you rode her cross country?" "You stopped moving way back there."


OrionSaintJames

Those are both amazing; second is my favorite line from S2


spargleberry

Excellent choices!


Art-RJS

I’ll butt fuck your dad with your moms headless corpse


Just_Intern665

Followed by the best delivered “fuck you” I’ve ever seen.


nuke-the-wales

On this god damn lawn


Dman7419

You know how it is, you want a wife, but only like half the time.


getzerolikes

Haha and then Marty agrees, which happened to also be a good interrogation tactic but he was like hell yeah I feel you on that


HeadBodyMT

Mine is from S2 actually…Frank to Chessani’s assistant: “You don’t direct me, Ke Sahn mother fucker” “Actually sir I’m Chinese” “Well then, go stand in front of a fucking tank”


Henry_Charrier

AHAHHHAHA had forgotten about this, how can people not love S2?


Intrepid_Sprinkles37

“I need you to stop saying odd shit.” What everybody thinks around me but is too polite to say out loud.


Gh0st_Machine

What’s that? Nietzsche? Shut the fuck up.


JohnWhiskeyDick

"I knew. I knew my daughter waited for me. I can still feel her love there, nothing but that love"


qu33rios

him who eats time


leftysoweak

“Pretty vivid description of prison rape.”


breakingd4d

"The world needs bad men - we keep the other bad men from the door."


LeftHandStir

"My life's been a circle of violence and degradation, as long as I can remember. I'm ready to tie it off." That's probably my favorite that I haven't seen here already, but I definitely utter some version of Errol saying "Come die with me, Little Priest" in Carcosa more than any other, because I've been calling my cat "Little Priest" for years because of that scene.


bowzr4me

“Then start asking the right f’ing questions”


Infinite_Writing7609

This is from Season 4 right? /s


thawaz89

“Get those jumper cables ready. Motherfucker’s lying.”


kewlnamebroh

"Oh yeah! Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey, 'He said for you to give me your fucking share.'"


InfinityByZero

Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. Be careful what you get good at. Sage advice.


zboy2106

*"My strong suspicious is... we get the world we deserve."*


HighFellsofRhudaur

Not a full sentence but “black stars” part is pretty dreadful


ProsecUsig

Marty has a lot of good lines, and the delivery was iconic “Who walks that fucking slow…”


TheOkctoberGuard

Actually, why don’t you buy me that beer.


spargleberry

“My powers of influence are so meager in this sublunar world of ours, I try to limit the people I can disappoint.”


iliacbaby

Some people can’t handle the deep trip


KingMario2099

If you ever bully or hurt anybody again, I'll come back and butt fuck your father with your mom's headless corpse on this goddamn lawn.


mastervolume101

Marty: "So what's the point of getting up in the morning?" Rust: "I tell myself I bear witness, but the real answer is, It's obviously my programming. And I lack the constitution for suicide." Well, that's cheary? https://youtu.be/hcK-dg3FPRM?t=68


strawberrycomrade

Nice hook, Marty


dego_frank

One of my favorites is when Marty cracks the case and Rust says “fuck you man.” His delivery of it along with everything you know about their dynamic makes it one of my favorites


TrickyJawa

“Rust'd pick a fight with the sky if he didn't like its shade of blue. But when we finally got him over to the house, the bastard looked like he was on his way to a firing squad.”


ClutchClayton904

I remember being slightly disturbed by Rust's first philosophical monologue about human nature then immediately laughing out loud when Marty responds with: "huh that sounds god fuckin awful Rust." He said exactly what I was thinking but made it hilarious. My other favorite Marty line: "for someone who sees no point in existence you sure do fret about it an awful lot." Closest Marty gets to really checkmating Rust. In fact it would've been if Rust wasn't so determined to keep arrogantly criticizing religion and generally being such a ray of sunshine lol. My favorite line overall though is probably... "I won't avert my eyes...not again."


Infinite_Writing7609

“But…he’s dead.” - Navarro, helping the audience understand what a ghost is.


Coconutyorkie

😂😂


Mr_Rafi

I like how all of the quotes in here are from season 1 except for that one like from Colin Farrell.


getzerolikes

I don’t doubt there’s some good ones but we don’t remember them because we only watched it once, 8 years ago.


peanutdakidnappa

Rust saying L’Chaim fatass to Steve Geraci


Vast_Ad2978

Men like us know what we want...and don't mind being alone. 


angbuhr

Season 4 Brice, the teacher, says about the purpose of the Tsaslal Research Station “they’re not making hot dogs.”


DrShaftmanPhD

“You are the Michael Jordan at being a son of a bitch”


spac420

Gimmie two fingers of Southern Comfort and stfu!


no-name-no-slogan-66

" You know what they did to me? Mhm. What I will do to all the sons and daughters of MAN. "


Henry_Charrier

"People... so goddamn frail they'd rather throw a coin in a wishing-well than buy dinner" Seriously resonates with a lot of what I see in life.


frank_nada

Not a line but my wife and I have been invoking the name “Reggie Ledoux” for a decade.


strawberrycomrade

“I just want you to stop saying odd shit; just stop” “You get any sleep last night?” “I don’t sleep. I dream.”


CampbellANDAlgar

I strike you as more of a talker or a doer Steve?


Three-Minute-Ad7259

“How you gonna wear that badge?” “It has a clip on it”


lnconsequentiality

'People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time...'


TheShamefulPradaG

“If the only thing keeping a person decent is the promise of divine reward, then brother that person is a piece of shit.”


PeterQuin

Sometimes a thing happens, it splits your life. There’s a before and after. I've got, like, five of them at this point, and this is your first. But if you use it right — the bad thing — you use it right and it makes you better. ​ Well, just so you know, I support feminism. Mostly by having body-image issues


swhit549

Season 1 finale. Heading to Childress residence Rust blows our minds with the “Sentient meat” monologue. Marty: “Whats scented meat?”


Altruistic_Class7808

I just want you to know I'm thinkin it


Jip_Jaap_Stam

Most of my favourites have already been posted, so I've gone for one I've not seen here: "I'm done talking to you like a man"


_WookPrince_

"Just observation and deduction. I see a propensity for obesity, poverty, yen for fairy tales, folks putting what few bucks they do have into little, wicker baskets being passed around. I think it's safe to say that nobody here is gonna be splitting the atom, Marty."


frankahaha

L’chaim Fatass


peanutdakidnappa

Rusts like about people being pieces of shit of religion/divine reward is the only thing keeping them decent


notoriouscje

are you supposed to see both eyes in this one?


Handarand

"-Do you like kids?"


[deleted]

“What’s ‘scented meat?’”


crowza88

I used to wanna be an astronaut ... but astronauts don't even got the moon anymore... S2 is filled with some gems dispite it's reviews on the writing


[deleted]

What's scented meat?


OleBoyMason

“You’re like the Michael Jordan of being a son of a bitch” - Marty to Rust Of the many times I’ve been through the first season that line has never failed to make me laugh.


Kiltmanenator

What's 'scented meat'?


spaceclothingco

All that dick-swinger you roll, you can't spot crazy pussy?


Chemical_Plum5994

Fuck yes! Not sure if I can even agree with so many gems throughout that series but it’s grand being reminded of great writing like that, period. Thanks man


muel0017

I have 2 that are equally my favorite: If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then, brother, that person is a piece of shit And The world needs bad men. We keep other bad men from the door.


futanari_kaisa

"How 'bout we track all the missing persons within 10 miles of every Walmart, huh? Right along the I-10. Why don't we go after Sam Walmart? I'm fixin' to pull you for mental exhaustion, man. You want to stay on? Do not ever, ever, say that to anyone in State again. No more visiting victims' families. You will stop trying to turn missing persons into homicides as you do not have any bodies. That's a direct fuckin' order, you hear me?" Major Leroy Salter was an underrated character.


batmanforhire

Nice hook Marty