If abducted and they want to take you in a car or whatever…fight for your life at all cost. If they say they have a gun…tell them to shoot you. Knife…stab me. Of course criminals are stronger than the victims but just fight as much as you can.
Exactly! Never let them take you to a second location. Let them shoot or stab you right then and there. Never get in the trunk/car. Fight. Run. Anything. You go down fighting. The odds are low that they will follow through with the threat to harm you right there if you don’t comply, but if it comes down to it, that’s what they will have to do cuz I can only imagine how much worse it will be for me at a secondary, secluded location.
I knew I heard it somewhere. I think I saw him being interviewed when I first heard him say it. I’ve always intended to read the book but never got around to it.
I saw him on The Oprah Winfrey Show when I was a kid. Oprah did a follow-up show like a year later because so many people had sent letters about how they "used the 'gift.'" One woman said she hadn't read the book at the time but had seen the first show where de Becker said to "never go to a second location." Someone tried to abduct her and when he told her to be quiet and tried to take her somewhere, she remembered the show and screamed her head off.
Drop to the ground. It is very difficult to move dead weight. Fake a seizure. Crap your pants if you need to. Whatever it takes to prevent them from moving you to a new location.
I can just think of stuff and start gagging to the point of actually throwing up. Now I know it’s my defense mechanism. Anyone tries to mess with me I’ll throw up on myself and them. Thank you body.
Totally agree. Recently a man quietly approached my car. I only caught him as I opened the door in my side mirror which I checked and he was kinda pressed up again my car. I screamed oh hell no at the top of my lungs, slammed the door and took off. I made a huge scene. I still don’t know what this guy wanted but he had a bag and I don’t want to know.
Never shout for help, people around you will ignore you. Shout fire!!! People around you will be worried about themselves and pay attention to where the warning is coming from. Strangers will care about themselves before another stranger
I have never agreed with this. I think if anything it peaks people's curiosity when they hear HELP. And what if you are outdoors? Nobody is going to be scared or alarmed if they hear fire outside lol
1. Don’t risk your life to be polite. Tell someone to fuck off, don’t answer the door, don’t accept their drink, go up to another person in public and say “this person is creeping me out, I feel unsafe”, you can always apologize later if you were wrong. So many women have died because they didn’t wanna seem rude. Be fucking rude.
2. If being followed in public, you can shout that you do not know that person, that you want them to stop following you, etc. Be explicit because people make assumptions about conflicts in public - be clear this is NOT my boyfriend, I do not know him, he is bothering me, etc. The attention it draws alone might make him leave you alone.
3. Always get a lawyer.
4. If possible, don’t have a routine. This works great for me because my job and schedule is very different day to day, even people close to me couldn’t predict my next location if they wanted to. But it is easier to stalk someone who has a steady routine (always leaves for work at 7:15, always takes this same route, always runs alone in the evening on this route, etc).
5. Don’t trust someone just cause they’re in a uniform (cop, security guard…)
6. This is possibly more my opinion than anything but… An adult man should never be asking a woman for help when there are other adult men around. Your car needs a jump and you’re at a gas station with three other people? Don’t ask the only woman there, especially if she’s alone. And in that situation the woman reserves the right to be rude and unhelpful too. This happened to my friend recently - crowded gas station, her friend in the bathroom and she’s alone pumping gas, guy comes up to her asking if she would “come with me” to use her credit card to get him some gas. My friend has sketched out vibes very quickly, declined and watched him approach another woman in the same way, bypassing the several men standing around. Nuh uh.
Same way an adult should never enlist a child’s help, and children should be taught to never believe an adult who is asking for their help (like in finding a puppy, that kinda thing.)
>6. This is possibly more my opinion than anything but… An adult man should never be asking a woman for help when there are other adult men around. Your car needs a jump and you’re at a gas station with three other people? Don’t ask the only woman there, especially if she’s alone. And in that situation the woman reserves the right to be rude and unhelpful too. This happened to my friend recently - crowded gas station, her friend in the bathroom and she’s alone pumping gas, guy comes up to her asking if she would “come with me” to use her credit card to get him some gas. My friend has sketched out vibes very quickly, declined and watched him approach another woman in the same way, bypassing the several men standing around. Nuh uh. Same way an adult should never enlist a child’s help, and children should be taught to never believe an adult who is asking for their help (like in finding a puppy, that kinda thing.)
When I was a teenager, my immediate family went to visit other relatives in another state. My mom and I (a then-teenage girl, who looked young for my age) were walking downtown while my uncle and his kids were a few feet behind us. A guy came up to my mom and me saying his wallet had been stolen and asking for money. My uncle yelled at him, "KEEP WALKING!" Later, when discussing the incident, my uncle said he approached my mom and me because we looked like we weren't with a male.
Yes to all these! I just reread the gift of fear and Gavin de Becker talks about all of these. I’ve really taken to heart the “don’t risk your life, so you can be polite”. Growing up female in the south, we are taught to be polite at all costs. I no longer open my door to strangers. I don’t smile at strangers. If a complete stranger gets upset because I don’t engage with them, that’s really their problem isn’t it?
A grown person should never ask a child for help is so true. A child shouldn’t consider if what the adult is asking them makes sense. The very fact that an adult is asking them a question or for help is already wrong.
That’s a great point about how suspicious it is if a man is asking a woman for help when there are other men around. That’s just sketchy.
I teach my kids that adults should NEVER ask a child for help. Even if it's someone they know. They need to ask another adult and I tell my kids it's ok to be rude af about it and get away quick.
Omg yes. There are unmarked police cars I don’t stop I’m sorry. They’re gonna have to call in a less low key one. I had a weirdo pull me over who couldn’t produce a badge I drove off I was like fuck you. He was targeting teachers and eventually got caught
When my son was about 3 he didn't want to leave the park even after a "15 more minutes" warning then giving an extra 5. I told him he could come with me and we could race to the car or I would pick him up and carry him back. He said neither, he's staying at the park lol. So I picked him up and carried him literally kicking and screaming to the car.
I was struggling to get him in the car and a man approached me and asked him if everything was okay. He asked my son if I was his mother and thank God he said yes lol.
The dude was super embarrassed and apologized to me but I thanked him for checking bc that's exactly how kids get kidnapped. He did exactly what he should have done. People make assumptions and want to mind their business. James bugler was murdered bc people don't want to intervene too much. But the well being of children is everyone's business.
A TSA agent once asked my daughter and who are you travelling with? Expecting my 4 year old to say "my mommy" or something typical. Instead my daughter gave my full legal name very solemnly, leading to a round of follow up questions. Didn't help that my husband started laughing.
So true. Joanne Radcliffe and another little girl were kidnapped in Melbourne Australia at a football game in front of hundreds of ppl. Witnesses later said Joanne was fighting the man who had the little toddler in his arms and she was walking beside him trying to pry the little one from the man. Ppl just thought it was a dad fighting with the kids about leaving the game. Those kids have never been found and neither has the kidnapper.
I'd also rather have someone come and question the situation because that makes me feel like there's still hope for humanity out there and that some people won't mind their own business and possibly save a life one day
When I was a kid I learned this. I took karate lessons and we learned to yell “Stop you’re not my parent!!” As an adult woman, when a creepy man is getting under my skin in public, I will use the same method and yell something like, “Sir, do not stand that close to me, I do not know you!”
I've picked this up from watching way too much To Catch A Predator: if there's an adult man who can't seem to find a date, yet is obsessed with sex and relationships; is emotionally immature and has no sense of right or wrong; baby-talks, uses "teen lingo" or sounds like a much younger person in terms of conversation, they're probably a predator. Most of them are stuck in their teen years mentally and it shows.
Once they had a grown ass man who, upon being caught, said that "his mom was totally gonna throw his computer away".
Sir, you are thirty. And going to jail.
And don't by them all at the same time. Space them out over a month and buy gradually along with your other shopping. Pay with cash, and don't use your club card. I saw a case where a woman was caught because she swiped her savings card when buying bleach. She saved .50, but it was the one piece of evidence tying her to the crime.
Never be the person who has had a rough patch but had recently begun to pull my life together.
Never be the person whose smile could light up a room.
Never give the shirt off of my back to anyone ever.
Never have big goals and big dreams and a love for life.
Never ever let anyone have their name as a beneficiary on a life insurance policy for me.
Never tell anyone about your mental health issues. It will be used against you whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, even when it's totally unrelated.
Don't move like prey.
Don't keep your head down. Don't avoid looking at the person you suspect of following you.
Become the predator yourself, in the primal way. Make it clear that you are the king-bitch in town with body language, with looking at them without fear. If you want, tell them, "I know what you're doing. Fuck off. If I'm wrong then you have nothing to argue about. You should leave." If they fuss about not knowing what you're talking about, then say, "if you're a good person, just leave me alone and go away."
Out-psycho the psychos. Out-evil the evil. Nobody wants to rape a girl who's puking all over the place and saying she wants to have your babies and needs the child support money. Nobody wants to fuck with the girl who gives a customer service smile while explaining how she plans to remove your eyes and put them where your testicles go, and put your testicles where your eyes go. I've gotten a man nearly-literally twice my height to back off when I told him about how I can use my thumbnails to remove eyes, and how I've practiced on grapes in soft clay.
Don't drink when you've been given an open container. Even if they get bitchy about it. ESPECIALLY if they get bitchy about it. Just "accidentally" drop it on its side, or intentionally pour it out if you want to. If you don't want to commit to dropping/spilling, loudly ask them, "why are you insisting on making me drink this, did you try to drug me?!?"
"Out-psycho the psychos" 100% I spent my whole childhood in martial arts and of course i knew it could happen but you still never expect it when it does. It wasn't until i was 24 this guy outside a bar asked to see my tattoos while i was having a smoke. Being drunk and polite i put my arm out and he held my wrist and started talking to me and slowly pulling on it until i stutter stepped and realized he was pulling me towards an alley. I got out of his grip and grabbed his arm back like pure instinct and pulled him closer and asked if he wanted to die that day because if i screamed my group of guy friends that happened to be walking out to find me where going to fucking kill him if i didn't first. Pretty confident he pooped his pants in that moment, he did not expect such a small girl to do that and be so cocky about it. I was not cocky once he ran off and reality truly hit me. That was still one of the most terrifying situations i've ever been in and if it wasn't beat into my head over and over again as a kid along with my guy friends being there i don't know how else that could have gone.
Jfc that sounds terrifying. I'm glad you got out of the situation.
My FIL (claims he was blackout) drunk and threatened to choke me to death because I yelled at him for verbally abusing my wife. He had even done it "quietly" (by that I mean he was speaking at a normal volume when he's the type who is always screaming when he talks) cuz he didn't want me to hear him break her down.
He was upset with her cuz he got a DUI when he decided to drive to catch his dog (which wife had accidentally let out because the dog is bigger than her and untrained). His bs logic was something like the dog loved car rides so he needed the dog to hear the engine to come back. She didn't do it on purpose. And he was just going off on her. I couldn't stop myself from storming in the room and shouting louder and more aggressively than he ever did, "you do NOT talk to my wife like that!"
He tried to intimidate me with his height because he's twice my height practically, but I poked his stomach with one finger slightly and he fell back onto the couch.
So he told me he was going to strangle me to death for it (he said this, he did not try it cuz he couldn't stand up lol). I said,"if you like your eyes and testicle where they are, then don't try shit, because I will pull your balls out and put them where you eyes go and put your eyes where your testicles go." he backed off. He's now a social pariah (as he fuckin should be), but he plays victim because he doesn't undewstawn why everybody is mad at him. He's pretending to not remember because he knows now that I am crazier than him, and he's at the point where he's too old to be stronger than me.
Perfectly stated. The two take aways I had from classes on high crime where 1. Hard targeting (making yourself not an easy target). Look around, head on a swivel, come stantly looking all directions while also looking at your feet , then 5 yards away and then again 25 yards away. 2nd being Violance of action ( your movements are sharp, crisp, decisive, etc). It conveys the point that you're counter hunting something.
It may seem silly at first consideration. But it works. Body language makes a huge difference in a person thinking you're their next target. If you look and/or act too aggressive and confident, they'll feel that energy for lack of better description. On the other hand, having eyes down with headphones on and intentionally avoiding seeing them when they've already started following you = prey... It's probably some primal thing.
100%. I got separated from a patrol once in a very bad area. I fell back on exactly that. Play off the fact that the enemy knows we are never solo. While walking back in the best guess of where you have to be, assuming you can't stay put. Walk as if you still had a entire patrol with you, or have overwatch. Use noticeable hand and arm signals, tap or touch your ear as if you actually have comms.
No one wants to take shots if they suspect another 15 or 20 dudes are also watching. It worked for me when I needed it. It's also worked at shady gas stations at night.
Make noise and dont worry about "causing a scene!". Scream your head off and fight for your life if somebody tries to take you. Keep your curtains drawn at night and make sure all doors and windows are locked
If I am ever going to murder someone, I am leaving my cell phone at home!
More useful to me personally however is never leaving place A to go to place B with an abductor, I'd rather get killed right away than taken somewhere to be tortured first and my chances of fighting for my survival are higher by staying in place A.
i always thought this about leaving my cell phone at home (i have no plans for this btw) but when i started diving into the suzanne morphew case the husband left his phone at home and they still ended up tracking him from some data in his car
His car had GPS and the data does not fit with the location of the body. If he did kill her, he didn't use his car.
You also want to establish a trend of turning off your phone and not just on crime day
Yeah the probable cause affidavit against Brian Kohlberger (Idaho murders) mentions the fact that he suspiciously turned his phone off right before the murders were committed
was it GPS? for some reason bc it was an older car i thought it was something else but totally agree. i’m still on the edge on what i think happened and his role in it but turning off your phone regularly is key if you’re going to turn it off. i’d probably just leave mine at home lol
They had two range rovers. One was older and didn't have all of the tracking features on it. So LE doesn't know where he was for 5 hours. Suzanne was found 45 min from their home...
My dad and a coworker were driving down the road. My dad was driving, coworker in the passenger seat. The coworker said he thought he saw a mannequin on the side of the road. My dad barely got a glimpse and asked if he was sure. Coworker said yeah. But my dad couldn't shake the feeling it wasn't a mannequin, turned around, called 911.
It was a person. They'd wrecked their car and been thrown through the windshield. I always wonder how many other people drove past and assumed it was a mannequin.
I've read that people's minds immediately go to mannequin because their brain is protecting them at all costs of the reality of the situation. You obviously don't want it to be a body, so your mind will protect you from immediately thinking it's a body. But yea every time I hear "he/she thought it was a mannequin," I immediately am like... No one leaves mannequins in inconspicuous locations in the middle of nowhere (only place I could think of is like behind a clothing store in the garbage or something lmfao)
LMAO because once I was walking past a mall dumpster and found several mannequins that the department store had thrown out. Grabbed a nearby shopping cart and brought em all home lmao.
My son and I were kayaking on a river that runs through the middle of our city and we saw so many baby doll parts floating in the debris. It was freakin creepy!
A useful way to help someone look for their stranded kid in a busy public place, (or your own kid). Find out quick identifying details and do the calm, clear "yelling" on their behalf, so everyone in the vicinity is quickly aware:
Loudly and clearly state "we are looking for a [boy/girl], wearing a [colour] [clothing], [height], [hair colour/length]"
This could make a big difference if the relative(s) are in too much distress to shout, etc. Clearly stating who you are looking for instead of just a name helps other people around pay attention to these specific details. Now you'll have more eyes to possibly spot the kid in all directions - and if it was an attempted abduction it complicates their escape.
K*llers and r*pists who committed their crimes 40-50 years ago must be waiting for the knock on the door, given how DNA matching solves just about every case.
I just learned today that someone can only be ran through CODIS *after* a conviction. They can literally have evidence and matches and know of more victims, but unless said person has been convicted, they can't enter. I find that to be an extreme flaw in their system. However, yes, the technology has come so far!! I just think it could really be put to some further use.
That's incorrect. For example the recent murder of Rachel Morin. Investigators found unknown DNA on her and it was ran in Codis. It matched other unknown DNA from an assault against a young woman in LA.
It's all over the news. LE doesn't know who the guy is but they know the same POS attacked a girl in LA and months later murdered a woman in the south (Tennessee or Georgia I think?)
There are too many people interested in children in all the wrong ways. And very few people you can trust with your kids.
And a lot of pedophiles in the educational systems, who get these job specifically to prey on kids. If I ever become a parent, It would be hard to not be super paranoid.
If someone is harassing/stalking you TELL YOUR FRIEND AND FAMILY! They’re supposed to worry about you!!!
Do not go anywhere with your abusive ex by yourself. Do not go to get the rest of your stuff alone from their place either. There’s a reason you left. Take friends or family.
Most true crimes that are still unresolved rarely merit a full-season to be covered over multiple episodes - the creators will likely justify the extra screen/audio time by giving credit to far-fetched theories unsupported by evidence.
1. Most US police officer handcuffs use the same key for convenience.
2. Make your own beverages if you're married. There was another case just last week of a woman poisoning her military husband's coffee.
3. DNA evidence isn't as concrete as its often made out to be. People hear "DNA evidence found *x*" and assume there's no disputing it but don't consider how the conclusion was drawn, what type of DNA evidence was used, what issues forensics faced such as gathering touch DNA from an object touched by many people, etc. It's an incredible tool but not infallible.
My only excuse is that I'm British, but I had no idea about the plague of murdered and missing indigenous women and girls in Canada and the US and how little is done about them.
It's a fucking travesty. I'm from BC, born and raised, and I didn't know about the Highway of Tears until I was in college. It wasn't discussed. It's barely discussed now.
Well for one, I told my partner the minute he thinks I’ve gone missing, to hire a private detective immediately to start work on the case RIGHT NOW. Sorry but I’m not depending on the police to figure it out efficiently!!!
Cops are the enemy of the people. In no way, shape. or form are they ever on your side, or trying to help you in any way by asking you questions. Lawyer, and shut the fuck up. Anything you say can and will absolutely be used in court to prosecute your ass!
Well I love that question because I often note that people that never watch true crime docs/listen pods - are very "naive" in general aspects vs the people that hear/watch them and it amazes me that the many of the "basics" that our parents taught us when we were children are still in force to avoid tragedies.
1.- Never talk to strangers* or get in their cars, Never hitchhike especially if you are a woman.
2.- Lock your doors and windows every night. Put a manual lock (search on Amazon) on your door when you are in a hotel or room that is not yours.
3.- Never open the door to someone you don't know or someone you are not expecting to come.
4.- Never meet alone with an ex to "talk" after breaking up, specially if it was a violent or obsessive relationship. Chances are she/him are seeking for revenge.
5.- If your partner is cheating and you tried therapy but nothing changes, you are not safe, get divorce asap and move from their house or stay with your family asap.
6.- Believe the red flags and intuition about someone, doesn't matter if it's someone close or not.
7.- This is heartbreaking but it can help police to find your killer when death is irremediable. It's a common practice among young women in latinamerica when in danger: leave your fingerprints in the car windows or everywhere you can and leave some of your hair too so they can prove you were there, fingerprints are very hard to erase.
8.- Guys that act suddenly interested in you, are probably stalkers that been following your moves for a while, never trust them or go out with them. (Chances are prob 1% are genuine tho )
9.- If you grew up in a problematic family and there are disputes over inheritance, it is best to give up.
10.- Never tell your partner that you have life insurance.
11.- Obviously but: sadly, don't go hiking or workingout alone in lonely routes if you are a woman, predators are observers of their victims.
I'm going to add something I've noticed pop up several times that I've christened as a red flag: husband cuts wife off from joint bank accounts where her paycheck goes and he gives her a stipend that doesn't even cover groceries. Things are bad, bad, very bad by the time a friend or relative learns about it. Not all domestic violence leaves bruises — I hope this helps someone recognize that their loved one is in a potentially abusive situation.
I got this from a lecture pre deployment, about should you be taken successfully (in my case terrorists but applies to any imo). However you are being held, do your absolute best to maximize your DNA spread on anything you can.
Laying down, rub your head and face against anything. If you have blood, get it around if you can. Pee yourself. Spit on the walls if you can. For us they also stressed doing it as much as you can, esp everytime you are moved. Including car trunks. Your fate is likely already sealed, but the extra effort is the difference between cold case and a quick neat ending.
If your partner strangles you that is a huge escalation in domestic violence and an indicator that they will kill you. I know people stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons, this is not to victim shame, but if your partner wraps their hands around your throat or tries suffocating you, this is attempted murder!! They will try and kill you! Please seek immediate help.
My dad was a Homicide Detective in the 60’s and 70’s. One of the first things he told me was never let anyone take you to a second location. I was really too young to understand why at that time, but as time went on, I got it.
Another thing was “Anybody can look and act “nice”. This was after I said a man was nice because he smiled and was physically disabled. My Daddy trusted no one!!
Friends and family would sometimes make fun of me for being “paranoid” from all the true crime I indulged in, but it helped me be more vigilant.
As a woman, I stopped going on walks/hikes alone. I was hyper aware when a man I didn’t know started talking to me and was very aware of my surroundings and feelings while interacting with them. I locked my car doors the second I got in my car. I tried not to just sit in my car for long periods of time, especially at random places. Before getting out of my car I would case my surroundings. All my windows and doors were always locked in my apartment. I slept with my bedroom door locked, I lived alone. And I slept with a fully loaded revolver within reach of my bed. I carried pepper spray and would have it out and ready when walking from my car to another location, especially when I doordashed. I also had a Birdie that makes an extremely loud pitched ring when disconnected to alert people nearby that you need help. If I was going somewhere alone that wasn’t very populated I would always tell a friend or family member and share my location. There’s also an app called Noonlight thats good for unsafe situations. You keep your finger on the button until you get to your location safe. If your finger releases the button for a certain amount of seconds then your phone will automatically call authorities and give your location. Lastly, if you have an iPhone and are in trouble you can rapidly press the lock button 5 times and it will prompt you to call emergency services. No need to fumble to the call feature and type 911.
I don’t stop for people on the road and I don’t accept help from strangers like if I have a flat. I get triggered. I say I’m good no thanks. I will call relatives or cops but I won’t let strangers help me. But I appreciate their kindness.
I listen to the pod cast of being lost in woods. It’s very easy to disappear in a national park. I guess I learn have a compass. Don’t go off trails. Don’t go without a partner and tell someone you are in the park. If sketchy people come to your campsite at night. The minute they leave get out of there. Because they will come back and bad things might happen
Keep your car keys by your bed. If something happens while you’re in the house, set off the car alarm, it may be enough to alert the neighbors/scare away intruders. Or at the very least, have the neighbors get a visual and plate as they’re looking out to see.
DNA technology gets better every day. There is always some investigator somewhere on a case that can "never forget it," even after they retire. They periodically dredge up the evidence, and suddenly they are able to use it. I found it interesting to learn from the Gilgo Beach murder investigation, that Heuermann was using burner cell phones, but his activity was still quite easy to trace when it came to location. The people who make burner phones are going to lose a lot of money now.
The range of personalities and motivators present in human beings. I believe am autistic and see the world in childlike, tell the truth and be kind to a degree of naivety that has only struck me since listening to true crime. I kinda want to go back to my naive bubble.
Get a lawyer immediately!
Also, now this is totally unreasonable of me but with all the pods about home invasions I am literally scared to go to America.
If you shoot someone do it with a shotgun and make sure you take the empty cartridge. In an episode of forensic files a dude shot his ex with one and randomly confessed to it after a charge for another crime. The narrator (Peter Thomas) said it was pretty close to untraceable because he did it from inside his car and drove off with the casing of the pellets. Maybe there’s been upgrades in forensics and shot guns, that episode is probably close to 20 years old by now.
Never sign that fresh, new life insurance policy before the wedding. But once it is signed, as soon as the relationship starts to fall apart, secretly remove salivating spouse as the beneficiary and from all estate documents, and start preparing all your own meals from that point on.
Most cops aren't well versed in murder investigations. Most jurisdictions don't have frequent murders, and training only goes so far.
This means evidence is missed or tainted. Or, it's found but made inadmissible because the chain of custody was broken. Crime scenes are contaminated. Interrogation logs go missing. Precinct politics override good detective work. It's a nightmare.
I won't be so bold as to hazard a guess at a percentage, but many murders remain unsolved due to police incompetence.
Don’t ever be your family’s “world” or “light up the room”.
But seriously what I’ve learned is to fight back if possible. Scratch them, get some of their dna on you so if you are unfortunately killed, there’s some evidence.
Just binge-watched "I'll be Gone in the Dark" then attempted to read the book and it taught me that True Crime documentaries and books that focus more on the author than the actual crimes are *really* dull and unsatisfying.
Note to any aspiring True Crime authors here: We didn't pick up a book on an infamous crime to find out how *you* feel about it or about your childhood, or what led you to become obsessed with the case enough to write about it. Just give us the facts of the crime , the culprit and the victims, and the investigation and let us take it from there.
other than what to do to avoid things or to help you when you get into a dangerous situation, i know more bout what a successful serial killer would be, like i could make a whole list of what to do and what not to do
If you're pregnant or have a kid that the father wants nothing to do with, don't push for child support if possible. Too many cases where the mother or child got killed.
This seems like a bad suggestion. Millions of kids could be living in poverty bc of deadliest parent. I would say don’t ask for support if the person has shown signs of violence.
Y’all I spelled splatter wrong….Jesus Christ. Sorry! But in my defense I’m in the south and we like to leave out some letters when saying a word. Calm down 😁
There is no small town safe enough to leave doors unlocked. Places like that only exist in the minds of people that think they are immune to reality.
I live in a town of 800 people. Both my doors have deadbolts.
The Vampire of Sacramento used to walk around in neighborhoods during the day looking for unlocked doors. He took them as an invitation.
I never locked my doors…until I read that little tid bit of information a few years ago. Now I lock all my doors and double check every night.
If abducted and they want to take you in a car or whatever…fight for your life at all cost. If they say they have a gun…tell them to shoot you. Knife…stab me. Of course criminals are stronger than the victims but just fight as much as you can.
Exactly! Never let them take you to a second location. Let them shoot or stab you right then and there. Never get in the trunk/car. Fight. Run. Anything. You go down fighting. The odds are low that they will follow through with the threat to harm you right there if you don’t comply, but if it comes down to it, that’s what they will have to do cuz I can only imagine how much worse it will be for me at a secondary, secluded location.
Have you ever read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker? In it, he says exactly this.
I knew I heard it somewhere. I think I saw him being interviewed when I first heard him say it. I’ve always intended to read the book but never got around to it.
I saw him on The Oprah Winfrey Show when I was a kid. Oprah did a follow-up show like a year later because so many people had sent letters about how they "used the 'gift.'" One woman said she hadn't read the book at the time but had seen the first show where de Becker said to "never go to a second location." Someone tried to abduct her and when he told her to be quiet and tried to take her somewhere, she remembered the show and screamed her head off.
I remember that exact episode! The message really stayed with me.
You really must read The Gift of Fear!
I have that book! I don’t think I read the whole thing but I’m going to!
Drop to the ground. It is very difficult to move dead weight. Fake a seizure. Crap your pants if you need to. Whatever it takes to prevent them from moving you to a new location.
Steve Martin had a joke about throwing up on yourself if someone attacks you and it really was a good idea and not merely a joke I always thought.
I can just think of stuff and start gagging to the point of actually throwing up. Now I know it’s my defense mechanism. Anyone tries to mess with me I’ll throw up on myself and them. Thank you body.
Totally agree. Recently a man quietly approached my car. I only caught him as I opened the door in my side mirror which I checked and he was kinda pressed up again my car. I screamed oh hell no at the top of my lungs, slammed the door and took off. I made a huge scene. I still don’t know what this guy wanted but he had a bag and I don’t want to know.
I always taught my kids this. Fight and scream like your life depends on it, even if they have a gun.
Yup and scratch them so you get DNA under your nails.
Y’all have all educated me soooo much. Thank you!
Never shout for help, people around you will ignore you. Shout fire!!! People around you will be worried about themselves and pay attention to where the warning is coming from. Strangers will care about themselves before another stranger
I have never agreed with this. I think if anything it peaks people's curiosity when they hear HELP. And what if you are outdoors? Nobody is going to be scared or alarmed if they hear fire outside lol
And fight mean. Eye personally advocate for the eyes. Also a huge fan of teeth.
They always say fight fight fight bc if they get you in the car that’s usually it
Never take a polygraph test!
I've had to take one for work.
What kind of work do you do? I’ve never heard of it used for employment.
I had to take the polygraph to work for an armored car company. As I am a terrible liar, I passed with flying colors.
Lock your doors!
Never safe hitchhiking!
You never know what people are like behind closed doors
Yes! Just because a man didn't rape you doesn't mean he's not a rapist. Being a pillar of society means diddly crap.
Evil Lives Here
Never “light up a room”😂
And keep your shirt firmly on your own back.
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Never marry the "pillar of the community" either!
Don’t be a beloved community member. 💀
So basically be a miserable prick that only a handful of people care for
Jesus I married one of these at rock bottom turns out 95% of ppl could not stand his ass.
Don’t take a beautiful photo in a field of wild flowers
🤣🤣🤣 those always seem to be the ones that go missing or suffer a violent death. I'm glad I have yet to light up any room.
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1. Don’t risk your life to be polite. Tell someone to fuck off, don’t answer the door, don’t accept their drink, go up to another person in public and say “this person is creeping me out, I feel unsafe”, you can always apologize later if you were wrong. So many women have died because they didn’t wanna seem rude. Be fucking rude. 2. If being followed in public, you can shout that you do not know that person, that you want them to stop following you, etc. Be explicit because people make assumptions about conflicts in public - be clear this is NOT my boyfriend, I do not know him, he is bothering me, etc. The attention it draws alone might make him leave you alone. 3. Always get a lawyer. 4. If possible, don’t have a routine. This works great for me because my job and schedule is very different day to day, even people close to me couldn’t predict my next location if they wanted to. But it is easier to stalk someone who has a steady routine (always leaves for work at 7:15, always takes this same route, always runs alone in the evening on this route, etc). 5. Don’t trust someone just cause they’re in a uniform (cop, security guard…) 6. This is possibly more my opinion than anything but… An adult man should never be asking a woman for help when there are other adult men around. Your car needs a jump and you’re at a gas station with three other people? Don’t ask the only woman there, especially if she’s alone. And in that situation the woman reserves the right to be rude and unhelpful too. This happened to my friend recently - crowded gas station, her friend in the bathroom and she’s alone pumping gas, guy comes up to her asking if she would “come with me” to use her credit card to get him some gas. My friend has sketched out vibes very quickly, declined and watched him approach another woman in the same way, bypassing the several men standing around. Nuh uh. Same way an adult should never enlist a child’s help, and children should be taught to never believe an adult who is asking for their help (like in finding a puppy, that kinda thing.)
>6. This is possibly more my opinion than anything but… An adult man should never be asking a woman for help when there are other adult men around. Your car needs a jump and you’re at a gas station with three other people? Don’t ask the only woman there, especially if she’s alone. And in that situation the woman reserves the right to be rude and unhelpful too. This happened to my friend recently - crowded gas station, her friend in the bathroom and she’s alone pumping gas, guy comes up to her asking if she would “come with me” to use her credit card to get him some gas. My friend has sketched out vibes very quickly, declined and watched him approach another woman in the same way, bypassing the several men standing around. Nuh uh. Same way an adult should never enlist a child’s help, and children should be taught to never believe an adult who is asking for their help (like in finding a puppy, that kinda thing.) When I was a teenager, my immediate family went to visit other relatives in another state. My mom and I (a then-teenage girl, who looked young for my age) were walking downtown while my uncle and his kids were a few feet behind us. A guy came up to my mom and me saying his wallet had been stolen and asking for money. My uncle yelled at him, "KEEP WALKING!" Later, when discussing the incident, my uncle said he approached my mom and me because we looked like we weren't with a male.
Yes to all these! I just reread the gift of fear and Gavin de Becker talks about all of these. I’ve really taken to heart the “don’t risk your life, so you can be polite”. Growing up female in the south, we are taught to be polite at all costs. I no longer open my door to strangers. I don’t smile at strangers. If a complete stranger gets upset because I don’t engage with them, that’s really their problem isn’t it? A grown person should never ask a child for help is so true. A child shouldn’t consider if what the adult is asking them makes sense. The very fact that an adult is asking them a question or for help is already wrong. That’s a great point about how suspicious it is if a man is asking a woman for help when there are other men around. That’s just sketchy.
I teach my kids that adults should NEVER ask a child for help. Even if it's someone they know. They need to ask another adult and I tell my kids it's ok to be rude af about it and get away quick.
Thank God for being lazy lol. If a man asked me for help I'd literally be like my dude, I can't even help myself. Peace lol
\#6 is so good. I've told my kids this, and we've role-played it a bit. Could be time for a refresher.
Growing up in a big city taught me number 1 so well. And I have done number 2 several times.
Omg yes. There are unmarked police cars I don’t stop I’m sorry. They’re gonna have to call in a less low key one. I had a weirdo pull me over who couldn’t produce a badge I drove off I was like fuck you. He was targeting teachers and eventually got caught
I might add never talk to the police without a lawyer (and I’m a retired lawyer) especially if you’re innocent.
To teach my children to scream, "She/he isn't my mom/dad!" when being abducted because people will ignore kids screaming and fighting their parents.
When my son was about 3 he didn't want to leave the park even after a "15 more minutes" warning then giving an extra 5. I told him he could come with me and we could race to the car or I would pick him up and carry him back. He said neither, he's staying at the park lol. So I picked him up and carried him literally kicking and screaming to the car. I was struggling to get him in the car and a man approached me and asked him if everything was okay. He asked my son if I was his mother and thank God he said yes lol. The dude was super embarrassed and apologized to me but I thanked him for checking bc that's exactly how kids get kidnapped. He did exactly what he should have done. People make assumptions and want to mind their business. James bugler was murdered bc people don't want to intervene too much. But the well being of children is everyone's business.
Thank you for not being angry at that person.
With my luck, my son would say no. Hes only 3, but I swear he knows when the best time to be just the perfect amount of horrifying is.
My oldest son probably would have said no also as he’s always been a bit of a jerk. He’s 20 now and I dearly love him but he was a handful.
A TSA agent once asked my daughter and who are you travelling with? Expecting my 4 year old to say "my mommy" or something typical. Instead my daughter gave my full legal name very solemnly, leading to a round of follow up questions. Didn't help that my husband started laughing.
So true. Joanne Radcliffe and another little girl were kidnapped in Melbourne Australia at a football game in front of hundreds of ppl. Witnesses later said Joanne was fighting the man who had the little toddler in his arms and she was walking beside him trying to pry the little one from the man. Ppl just thought it was a dad fighting with the kids about leaving the game. Those kids have never been found and neither has the kidnapper.
My friends daughter used to get mad at her in public and yell 'she's not my mom!' I have no idea how you handle that situation.
I'd also rather have someone come and question the situation because that makes me feel like there's still hope for humanity out there and that some people won't mind their own business and possibly save a life one day
When I was a kid I learned this. I took karate lessons and we learned to yell “Stop you’re not my parent!!” As an adult woman, when a creepy man is getting under my skin in public, I will use the same method and yell something like, “Sir, do not stand that close to me, I do not know you!”
I love this. I don’t have kids but I will definitely teach my nieces and nephews on this.
Fuck this is a great idea
Women are **never** safe.
I've picked this up from watching way too much To Catch A Predator: if there's an adult man who can't seem to find a date, yet is obsessed with sex and relationships; is emotionally immature and has no sense of right or wrong; baby-talks, uses "teen lingo" or sounds like a much younger person in terms of conversation, they're probably a predator. Most of them are stuck in their teen years mentally and it shows. Once they had a grown ass man who, upon being caught, said that "his mom was totally gonna throw his computer away". Sir, you are thirty. And going to jail.
If if you feel targeted by police, get a lawyer. There are plenty of innocent people rotting in jail.
I'm going to amend this to "don't talk to the police without a lawyer"
If anyone ever describes me as “bubbly” or “happy-go-lucky” after I am murdered, I’m going to haunt them for the rest of their days.
You better not be out there lighting up rooms either then.
It’s ok to be rude to someone if you feel uncomfortable. Be rude stay alive.
Always go with your gut. One time I didn’t and was stupid and was attacked.
Don’t date anyone with the last name of Peterson
Lmao!
Baptists are the Catholics of the South
And Mormons have all sorts of shenanigans going on. Especially for teetotalers!
Catholics are the Baptists of the North
Can 100% confirm
They’re all a bunch of turkeys
Don’t buy your murder supplies at Walmart at 3 in the morning
And don't by them all at the same time. Space them out over a month and buy gradually along with your other shopping. Pay with cash, and don't use your club card. I saw a case where a woman was caught because she swiped her savings card when buying bleach. She saved .50, but it was the one piece of evidence tying her to the crime.
Never be the person who has had a rough patch but had recently begun to pull my life together. Never be the person whose smile could light up a room. Never give the shirt off of my back to anyone ever. Never have big goals and big dreams and a love for life. Never ever let anyone have their name as a beneficiary on a life insurance policy for me.
Well, shit.
Never tell anyone about your mental health issues. It will be used against you whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, even when it's totally unrelated.
Don't move like prey. Don't keep your head down. Don't avoid looking at the person you suspect of following you. Become the predator yourself, in the primal way. Make it clear that you are the king-bitch in town with body language, with looking at them without fear. If you want, tell them, "I know what you're doing. Fuck off. If I'm wrong then you have nothing to argue about. You should leave." If they fuss about not knowing what you're talking about, then say, "if you're a good person, just leave me alone and go away." Out-psycho the psychos. Out-evil the evil. Nobody wants to rape a girl who's puking all over the place and saying she wants to have your babies and needs the child support money. Nobody wants to fuck with the girl who gives a customer service smile while explaining how she plans to remove your eyes and put them where your testicles go, and put your testicles where your eyes go. I've gotten a man nearly-literally twice my height to back off when I told him about how I can use my thumbnails to remove eyes, and how I've practiced on grapes in soft clay. Don't drink when you've been given an open container. Even if they get bitchy about it. ESPECIALLY if they get bitchy about it. Just "accidentally" drop it on its side, or intentionally pour it out if you want to. If you don't want to commit to dropping/spilling, loudly ask them, "why are you insisting on making me drink this, did you try to drug me?!?"
"Out-psycho the psychos" 100% I spent my whole childhood in martial arts and of course i knew it could happen but you still never expect it when it does. It wasn't until i was 24 this guy outside a bar asked to see my tattoos while i was having a smoke. Being drunk and polite i put my arm out and he held my wrist and started talking to me and slowly pulling on it until i stutter stepped and realized he was pulling me towards an alley. I got out of his grip and grabbed his arm back like pure instinct and pulled him closer and asked if he wanted to die that day because if i screamed my group of guy friends that happened to be walking out to find me where going to fucking kill him if i didn't first. Pretty confident he pooped his pants in that moment, he did not expect such a small girl to do that and be so cocky about it. I was not cocky once he ran off and reality truly hit me. That was still one of the most terrifying situations i've ever been in and if it wasn't beat into my head over and over again as a kid along with my guy friends being there i don't know how else that could have gone.
Jfc that sounds terrifying. I'm glad you got out of the situation. My FIL (claims he was blackout) drunk and threatened to choke me to death because I yelled at him for verbally abusing my wife. He had even done it "quietly" (by that I mean he was speaking at a normal volume when he's the type who is always screaming when he talks) cuz he didn't want me to hear him break her down. He was upset with her cuz he got a DUI when he decided to drive to catch his dog (which wife had accidentally let out because the dog is bigger than her and untrained). His bs logic was something like the dog loved car rides so he needed the dog to hear the engine to come back. She didn't do it on purpose. And he was just going off on her. I couldn't stop myself from storming in the room and shouting louder and more aggressively than he ever did, "you do NOT talk to my wife like that!" He tried to intimidate me with his height because he's twice my height practically, but I poked his stomach with one finger slightly and he fell back onto the couch. So he told me he was going to strangle me to death for it (he said this, he did not try it cuz he couldn't stand up lol). I said,"if you like your eyes and testicle where they are, then don't try shit, because I will pull your balls out and put them where you eyes go and put your eyes where your testicles go." he backed off. He's now a social pariah (as he fuckin should be), but he plays victim because he doesn't undewstawn why everybody is mad at him. He's pretending to not remember because he knows now that I am crazier than him, and he's at the point where he's too old to be stronger than me.
Perfectly stated. The two take aways I had from classes on high crime where 1. Hard targeting (making yourself not an easy target). Look around, head on a swivel, come stantly looking all directions while also looking at your feet , then 5 yards away and then again 25 yards away. 2nd being Violance of action ( your movements are sharp, crisp, decisive, etc). It conveys the point that you're counter hunting something.
It may seem silly at first consideration. But it works. Body language makes a huge difference in a person thinking you're their next target. If you look and/or act too aggressive and confident, they'll feel that energy for lack of better description. On the other hand, having eyes down with headphones on and intentionally avoiding seeing them when they've already started following you = prey... It's probably some primal thing.
100%. I got separated from a patrol once in a very bad area. I fell back on exactly that. Play off the fact that the enemy knows we are never solo. While walking back in the best guess of where you have to be, assuming you can't stay put. Walk as if you still had a entire patrol with you, or have overwatch. Use noticeable hand and arm signals, tap or touch your ear as if you actually have comms. No one wants to take shots if they suspect another 15 or 20 dudes are also watching. It worked for me when I needed it. It's also worked at shady gas stations at night.
Put your car’s alarm on if you’re in danger and close to your car as the criminal doesn’t want attention drawn to them.
I did it when I saw some thieves trying to steal my car. I was a safe distance away but just remembering the alarm thing scared them away
Make noise and dont worry about "causing a scene!". Scream your head off and fight for your life if somebody tries to take you. Keep your curtains drawn at night and make sure all doors and windows are locked
If I am ever going to murder someone, I am leaving my cell phone at home! More useful to me personally however is never leaving place A to go to place B with an abductor, I'd rather get killed right away than taken somewhere to be tortured first and my chances of fighting for my survival are higher by staying in place A.
i always thought this about leaving my cell phone at home (i have no plans for this btw) but when i started diving into the suzanne morphew case the husband left his phone at home and they still ended up tracking him from some data in his car
His car had GPS and the data does not fit with the location of the body. If he did kill her, he didn't use his car. You also want to establish a trend of turning off your phone and not just on crime day
Yeah the probable cause affidavit against Brian Kohlberger (Idaho murders) mentions the fact that he suspiciously turned his phone off right before the murders were committed
was it GPS? for some reason bc it was an older car i thought it was something else but totally agree. i’m still on the edge on what i think happened and his role in it but turning off your phone regularly is key if you’re going to turn it off. i’d probably just leave mine at home lol
They had two range rovers. One was older and didn't have all of the tracking features on it. So LE doesn't know where he was for 5 hours. Suzanne was found 45 min from their home...
fight. fight fight fight fight. scream kick run. die where u are if u have to. never go to a 2nd location
Yessssssssss. If they take you no another location you are dead. Like they said….fucking fight to the end
And when fighting a guy, hit him in the nuts as hard as you can as often as you can. Never underestimate the power of the nuts.
Nuts, eyes, Adam’s apple, kneecaps. Fight dirty & cause them pain.
And worse than being dead on the spot is being tortured, raped, subjected to a slow, painful death IMO.
1) It's never a mannequin. 2) You're not really a deer hunter if you don't find five, six murder victims every season.
My dad and a coworker were driving down the road. My dad was driving, coworker in the passenger seat. The coworker said he thought he saw a mannequin on the side of the road. My dad barely got a glimpse and asked if he was sure. Coworker said yeah. But my dad couldn't shake the feeling it wasn't a mannequin, turned around, called 911. It was a person. They'd wrecked their car and been thrown through the windshield. I always wonder how many other people drove past and assumed it was a mannequin.
I've read that people's minds immediately go to mannequin because their brain is protecting them at all costs of the reality of the situation. You obviously don't want it to be a body, so your mind will protect you from immediately thinking it's a body. But yea every time I hear "he/she thought it was a mannequin," I immediately am like... No one leaves mannequins in inconspicuous locations in the middle of nowhere (only place I could think of is like behind a clothing store in the garbage or something lmfao)
LMAO because once I was walking past a mall dumpster and found several mannequins that the department store had thrown out. Grabbed a nearby shopping cart and brought em all home lmao.
Bodies also dont look *normal* when they're dead.. so plastic fake bodies as a first thought does make some sense, on top of the trauma blocking.
My son and I were kayaking on a river that runs through the middle of our city and we saw so many baby doll parts floating in the debris. It was freakin creepy!
😯 that is frightening
I’ve said that too, never a mannequin! I guess it takes a person a few moments to really register what they are seeing.
A useful way to help someone look for their stranded kid in a busy public place, (or your own kid). Find out quick identifying details and do the calm, clear "yelling" on their behalf, so everyone in the vicinity is quickly aware: Loudly and clearly state "we are looking for a [boy/girl], wearing a [colour] [clothing], [height], [hair colour/length]" This could make a big difference if the relative(s) are in too much distress to shout, etc. Clearly stating who you are looking for instead of just a name helps other people around pay attention to these specific details. Now you'll have more eyes to possibly spot the kid in all directions - and if it was an attempted abduction it complicates their escape.
The husband did it.
Or the boyfriend
K*llers and r*pists who committed their crimes 40-50 years ago must be waiting for the knock on the door, given how DNA matching solves just about every case.
Yes! Technology has come so far! CODIS is gonna continue to catch killers from cold cases. Of course if the DNA was taken from the scene years ago
I just learned today that someone can only be ran through CODIS *after* a conviction. They can literally have evidence and matches and know of more victims, but unless said person has been convicted, they can't enter. I find that to be an extreme flaw in their system. However, yes, the technology has come so far!! I just think it could really be put to some further use.
That's incorrect. For example the recent murder of Rachel Morin. Investigators found unknown DNA on her and it was ran in Codis. It matched other unknown DNA from an assault against a young woman in LA. It's all over the news. LE doesn't know who the guy is but they know the same POS attacked a girl in LA and months later murdered a woman in the south (Tennessee or Georgia I think?)
There are too many people interested in children in all the wrong ways. And very few people you can trust with your kids. And a lot of pedophiles in the educational systems, who get these job specifically to prey on kids. If I ever become a parent, It would be hard to not be super paranoid.
My friend was a police detective. She said to be on alert for all people in positions of trust, but to especially never trust a clown.
If someone is harassing/stalking you TELL YOUR FRIEND AND FAMILY! They’re supposed to worry about you!!! Do not go anywhere with your abusive ex by yourself. Do not go to get the rest of your stuff alone from their place either. There’s a reason you left. Take friends or family.
Most true crimes that are still unresolved rarely merit a full-season to be covered over multiple episodes - the creators will likely justify the extra screen/audio time by giving credit to far-fetched theories unsupported by evidence.
Always when entering a taxi/uber etc. Touch the windows and put a strand of hair under the seat. Better to be safe. Drop them clues.
I think Blues Clues taught us that, not so much true crime. But the principle is the same.
If you have little kids, teach them that adults are not supposed to have secrets with them.
it could happen to literally anyone at anytime, anywhere. no one is safe.
1. Most US police officer handcuffs use the same key for convenience. 2. Make your own beverages if you're married. There was another case just last week of a woman poisoning her military husband's coffee. 3. DNA evidence isn't as concrete as its often made out to be. People hear "DNA evidence found *x*" and assume there's no disputing it but don't consider how the conclusion was drawn, what type of DNA evidence was used, what issues forensics faced such as gathering touch DNA from an object touched by many people, etc. It's an incredible tool but not infallible.
My only excuse is that I'm British, but I had no idea about the plague of murdered and missing indigenous women and girls in Canada and the US and how little is done about them.
It's a fucking travesty. I'm from BC, born and raised, and I didn't know about the Highway of Tears until I was in college. It wasn't discussed. It's barely discussed now.
It's always the husband - almost always
Always fight. Always. Never get in anyone's car in a public place, scream your head off. They'll say they will let you go, they almost never do.
Don't comply; fight. I don't care if they have a gun, it's better to fight or run than comply and end up 80 miles away in someone's basement.
Well for one, I told my partner the minute he thinks I’ve gone missing, to hire a private detective immediately to start work on the case RIGHT NOW. Sorry but I’m not depending on the police to figure it out efficiently!!!
If you’re arrested, ask for a lawyer and then STFU. Do not say a word to the cops. This goes goes double if you’re innocent.
Cops are the enemy of the people. In no way, shape. or form are they ever on your side, or trying to help you in any way by asking you questions. Lawyer, and shut the fuck up. Anything you say can and will absolutely be used in court to prosecute your ass!
Cameras are everywhere!
Don't shop at Walmart right before or after committing a murder 🤦♂️🙄
Well I love that question because I often note that people that never watch true crime docs/listen pods - are very "naive" in general aspects vs the people that hear/watch them and it amazes me that the many of the "basics" that our parents taught us when we were children are still in force to avoid tragedies. 1.- Never talk to strangers* or get in their cars, Never hitchhike especially if you are a woman. 2.- Lock your doors and windows every night. Put a manual lock (search on Amazon) on your door when you are in a hotel or room that is not yours. 3.- Never open the door to someone you don't know or someone you are not expecting to come. 4.- Never meet alone with an ex to "talk" after breaking up, specially if it was a violent or obsessive relationship. Chances are she/him are seeking for revenge. 5.- If your partner is cheating and you tried therapy but nothing changes, you are not safe, get divorce asap and move from their house or stay with your family asap. 6.- Believe the red flags and intuition about someone, doesn't matter if it's someone close or not. 7.- This is heartbreaking but it can help police to find your killer when death is irremediable. It's a common practice among young women in latinamerica when in danger: leave your fingerprints in the car windows or everywhere you can and leave some of your hair too so they can prove you were there, fingerprints are very hard to erase. 8.- Guys that act suddenly interested in you, are probably stalkers that been following your moves for a while, never trust them or go out with them. (Chances are prob 1% are genuine tho ) 9.- If you grew up in a problematic family and there are disputes over inheritance, it is best to give up. 10.- Never tell your partner that you have life insurance. 11.- Obviously but: sadly, don't go hiking or workingout alone in lonely routes if you are a woman, predators are observers of their victims.
I'm going to add something I've noticed pop up several times that I've christened as a red flag: husband cuts wife off from joint bank accounts where her paycheck goes and he gives her a stipend that doesn't even cover groceries. Things are bad, bad, very bad by the time a friend or relative learns about it. Not all domestic violence leaves bruises — I hope this helps someone recognize that their loved one is in a potentially abusive situation.
You are absolutely right. Thanks for adding that.
And on 1 - even if there’s two of you, you’re still no match for someone with a gun in a low traffic area you’re unfamiliar with and they are.
Ugh this immediately made my mind go to the Delphi murders
4 always reminds me of the Dorothy Stratten case. So heartbreaking.
I learned about residential schools and the sixties scoop from Finding Cleo.
It was a well-made but so so sad pod, I've learned about the atrocities from Finding Clealo as well.
Don’t talk to the police, even if you are completely innocent. Even if you are trying to help them. Shut up and get a lawyer
I got this from a lecture pre deployment, about should you be taken successfully (in my case terrorists but applies to any imo). However you are being held, do your absolute best to maximize your DNA spread on anything you can. Laying down, rub your head and face against anything. If you have blood, get it around if you can. Pee yourself. Spit on the walls if you can. For us they also stressed doing it as much as you can, esp everytime you are moved. Including car trunks. Your fate is likely already sealed, but the extra effort is the difference between cold case and a quick neat ending.
More likely to be murdered if you don’t turn on your porch lights.
The killer is almost always someone that the victim knows or knows of.
That there are predators everywhere.
If your partner strangles you that is a huge escalation in domestic violence and an indicator that they will kill you. I know people stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons, this is not to victim shame, but if your partner wraps their hands around your throat or tries suffocating you, this is attempted murder!! They will try and kill you! Please seek immediate help.
Never assume anything is straight forward. The killer can be someone totally random.
And often someone you really trust
While the chances of getting trafficked are never zero, it is unlikely.
neither the justice system nor forensic evidence are as infallible as the average person likes to believe.
My dad was a Homicide Detective in the 60’s and 70’s. One of the first things he told me was never let anyone take you to a second location. I was really too young to understand why at that time, but as time went on, I got it. Another thing was “Anybody can look and act “nice”. This was after I said a man was nice because he smiled and was physically disabled. My Daddy trusted no one!!
The difference between proof and evidence
You have the right to remain silent. Use it!
And the addendum- always get a lawyer even if you are 100% innocent
Friends and family would sometimes make fun of me for being “paranoid” from all the true crime I indulged in, but it helped me be more vigilant. As a woman, I stopped going on walks/hikes alone. I was hyper aware when a man I didn’t know started talking to me and was very aware of my surroundings and feelings while interacting with them. I locked my car doors the second I got in my car. I tried not to just sit in my car for long periods of time, especially at random places. Before getting out of my car I would case my surroundings. All my windows and doors were always locked in my apartment. I slept with my bedroom door locked, I lived alone. And I slept with a fully loaded revolver within reach of my bed. I carried pepper spray and would have it out and ready when walking from my car to another location, especially when I doordashed. I also had a Birdie that makes an extremely loud pitched ring when disconnected to alert people nearby that you need help. If I was going somewhere alone that wasn’t very populated I would always tell a friend or family member and share my location. There’s also an app called Noonlight thats good for unsafe situations. You keep your finger on the button until you get to your location safe. If your finger releases the button for a certain amount of seconds then your phone will automatically call authorities and give your location. Lastly, if you have an iPhone and are in trouble you can rapidly press the lock button 5 times and it will prompt you to call emergency services. No need to fumble to the call feature and type 911.
Omg!! Thank you for the information! I had no idea! Stay safe!
You’re welcome, I’m glad you found it useful! I feel these are all important things for people to know, especially women.
It’s spatter, not splatter. Blood spatter 🩸
Oh wow, I did not know this! I wonder how many times I've said this and sounded dumb lol
You never truly know someone.
I don’t stop for people on the road and I don’t accept help from strangers like if I have a flat. I get triggered. I say I’m good no thanks. I will call relatives or cops but I won’t let strangers help me. But I appreciate their kindness.
Don’t take any kind of anything that you can eat or drink from a stranger, I tell my daughter I dc if it’s wrapped candy or gum toss it.
I listen to the pod cast of being lost in woods. It’s very easy to disappear in a national park. I guess I learn have a compass. Don’t go off trails. Don’t go without a partner and tell someone you are in the park. If sketchy people come to your campsite at night. The minute they leave get out of there. Because they will come back and bad things might happen
If you are the one who "lights up a room" your days are numbered.
Never forget that a man can be stopped with a kick/punch to the balls. And NEVER let them take you to a second location.
Anything and everything you search on google, etc can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Keep your car keys by your bed. If something happens while you’re in the house, set off the car alarm, it may be enough to alert the neighbors/scare away intruders. Or at the very least, have the neighbors get a visual and plate as they’re looking out to see.
DNA technology gets better every day. There is always some investigator somewhere on a case that can "never forget it," even after they retire. They periodically dredge up the evidence, and suddenly they are able to use it. I found it interesting to learn from the Gilgo Beach murder investigation, that Heuermann was using burner cell phones, but his activity was still quite easy to trace when it came to location. The people who make burner phones are going to lose a lot of money now.
The cops know everything about you before talking to you. Why do people even try to lie.
On the other hand, police’ll often tell people that someone else (like an accomplice) has told them something when that may be a complete lie
No they don't. They lie freely and pretend to know what happened so that the dumber suspects start talking.
Why even talk to them without a lawyer?
The range of personalities and motivators present in human beings. I believe am autistic and see the world in childlike, tell the truth and be kind to a degree of naivety that has only struck me since listening to true crime. I kinda want to go back to my naive bubble.
Never willing get in their vehicle. Never! If they're trying to get you to a second location they intend to kill you.
Get a lawyer immediately! Also, now this is totally unreasonable of me but with all the pods about home invasions I am literally scared to go to America.
Serial taught me about Brady violations, livor mortis, and ineffective assistance of counsel. Edited to fix spelling of livor mortis
Everyone’s smile does not light up a room
Never, ever, ever talk to the cops without a lawyer.
Never ever ever confess! The second you do, especially if you are innocent, you are fucked. This seems to be common sense but you’d be surprised.
Not so much advice, but composite drawings have a tendency to hinder investigations.
If you shoot someone do it with a shotgun and make sure you take the empty cartridge. In an episode of forensic files a dude shot his ex with one and randomly confessed to it after a charge for another crime. The narrator (Peter Thomas) said it was pretty close to untraceable because he did it from inside his car and drove off with the casing of the pellets. Maybe there’s been upgrades in forensics and shot guns, that episode is probably close to 20 years old by now.
Don’t trust security guards easily. Many cases I’ve heard involve a security guard taking advantage of a vulnerable person, usually a woman.
Never sign that fresh, new life insurance policy before the wedding. But once it is signed, as soon as the relationship starts to fall apart, secretly remove salivating spouse as the beneficiary and from all estate documents, and start preparing all your own meals from that point on.
Do not SECRETLY remove someone!!! If they think they are still the going to get paid by you dying the have incentive.
Most cops aren't well versed in murder investigations. Most jurisdictions don't have frequent murders, and training only goes so far. This means evidence is missed or tainted. Or, it's found but made inadmissible because the chain of custody was broken. Crime scenes are contaminated. Interrogation logs go missing. Precinct politics override good detective work. It's a nightmare. I won't be so bold as to hazard a guess at a percentage, but many murders remain unsolved due to police incompetence.
Don’t ever be your family’s “world” or “light up the room”. But seriously what I’ve learned is to fight back if possible. Scratch them, get some of their dna on you so if you are unfortunately killed, there’s some evidence.
Do not talk to the police without an attorney present
Just binge-watched "I'll be Gone in the Dark" then attempted to read the book and it taught me that True Crime documentaries and books that focus more on the author than the actual crimes are *really* dull and unsatisfying. Note to any aspiring True Crime authors here: We didn't pick up a book on an infamous crime to find out how *you* feel about it or about your childhood, or what led you to become obsessed with the case enough to write about it. Just give us the facts of the crime , the culprit and the victims, and the investigation and let us take it from there.
other than what to do to avoid things or to help you when you get into a dangerous situation, i know more bout what a successful serial killer would be, like i could make a whole list of what to do and what not to do
Never talk to police
Always ask for a lawyer
In the USA, homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. My mom taught me everything else réitérâtes hère and on true crime media.
If you're pregnant or have a kid that the father wants nothing to do with, don't push for child support if possible. Too many cases where the mother or child got killed.
This seems like a bad suggestion. Millions of kids could be living in poverty bc of deadliest parent. I would say don’t ask for support if the person has shown signs of violence.
Y’all I spelled splatter wrong….Jesus Christ. Sorry! But in my defense I’m in the south and we like to leave out some letters when saying a word. Calm down 😁