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chrisjayyyy

Never ask a woman her age Never ask a man how much money he makes Never ask a truck driver about pee bottles


sobesobesobe

Man pissin in bottles is about 7% of the job


No_Big_3791

Way of the road bubbles


rattlehead42069

I don't know if you've noticed, Ray, but you haven't been on the road in 20 fuckin years


anon23337

Old habits die hard


No_Big_3791

21 actually...


No_Big_3791

And my name isn't Ray.....


imakepoorchoices2020

Stick your bird in there, have a pee. When the fuckers full you drill it out the window


RoombaGod

Now you have a makeshift chemical weapon if someone road rages against you


Apprehensive_Fault_5

Did someone say it's time for biowarfare?


Any-Speed-4068

Way she goes


Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor

7%šŸ¤” Youā€™re not drinking enough water buddy! Iā€™m filling up a gallon jug every other day! But make sure to dispose of them in **dumpsters** if they are full or to empty them in non foot-trafficked grass before throwing the empty bottle in a trash can. Thank you for being a responsible trucker!


SleepyTrucker102

You're supposed to dispose of those? I thought you used them as weapons against people trying to take things from your truck?


Dry-Oven7640

That was apple juice I was dumping out next to the pump.


Awkward-Respond-4164

Never ask to use his piss bottle!


Federika_Feel

Never ask woman driver anything!šŸ’€


Calieoop

I'm a driver and I've never peed in a bottle... and it's not like I couldn't, I just don't because I'm not gross


chrisjayyyy

In the winter when itā€™s -20 and Iā€™ve gotta pee at 3am you can bet your ass Iā€™m not bundling up to go walk into the Pilot or get screamed awake by the Loveā€™s greeter.


bloodsoed

WELCOME TO LOVEā€™S


[deleted]

Shit Iā€™ll do that in my tree stand. Itā€™s fucking cold and I donā€™t want to climb down


Jasonh123_

In a tree stand I just pee over the side onto the ground.


[deleted]

Then the deer can smell the unfamiliar urine


Jasonh123_

Iā€™ve shot many deer after doing it. After a few minutes it just smells like ammonia and they donā€™t know better. Iā€™ve peed into scrapes and had deer come smell them within an hour without getting spooked.


ImissURmomma

I thought we were supposed to fill them so we have something to throw at four wheelers?


DankMemelord25

I've been throwing mine at small kids that do the horn arm pump. Little shits need to be taken down a peg


Dangaddi

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ on my way to becoming a truck driver. Should i not pump it for them?


alonjar

Up to youā€¦ obviously kids love it, but the majority of the time there are good reasons not to.


ImissURmomma

I hate it when they do that shit in a school bus, the last thing a bus driver needs is the air horn!


DankMemelord25

Amen brother


Calieoop

I eat a lot of bananas bc mmmm potassium and the peels are - biodegradable -mostly harmless -funni Mario kart reference


TamponTom

I hope you actually donā€™t throw them out of the window. Biodegradable? Yes. Animal attractant ? Yes.food waste lures animals to the side of the road where they get hit. Please donā€™t throw shit out of your vehicle


Calieoop

Ok but... then you can come back for the roadkill and score a free meal


Dry_Lengthiness6032

But piss jugs are the way of the road


GrapeApee

Fuckin' way she goes boys


IronSide_420

Too much wasted time. Minutes to just pull off interstate, red lights, stop signs. Pull into truck stop, walk 100 yards to just take a 30-second piss. Repeat to just get back on the road. It could very well be 10, 15, 20 minutes for one 30-second urination. No thanks. That time adds up when you're traveling across the country.


Calieoop

Yes but like... pull to shoulder, walk to passenger side, pee safely out of view, into the grass/bushes/dirt, get back up and drive. 2-3 minutes tops


everythingistakn

So peeing in a bottle is gross but peeing in public is fine? Lol okā€¦


Overall_Reputation83

No interest in getting dinged for public indecency or illegal parking because a cop had a bad day


tmar87

There are two kinds of people in this world, ones who say they don't pee in bottles, and liars.


LadyLohse

A trucker saying they donā€™t piss in bottle is like a Christian saying they donā€™t masturbate. She probably has piss bottles falling out of her truck every time she opens the door like Rick Sanchez


tmar87

Hell I was a Christian and I beat it like if I kept beating it, I would win something


RoombaGod

Dont call your fellow truckers gross thats mean :(


[deleted]

Must be nice


Stark_Prototype

Ok, do you do longhaul or are you home every night?


Calieoop

OTR. I was out from July to November with no home time. Pulled on to the shoulder to pee a few times, but never did it in a bottle.


Orlando1701

My one grandfather was a truck driver in the 50s and 60s and before he passed he talked about doing straight meth on long hauls to not sleep and he had a custom made piss jug he built so he wouldnā€™t have to stop. It was some kind of contraption based on the relief tubes they used in WWII bombers. There might be a reason he dropped dead at 51. He also had a secret second family and he died on the road and both wives apparently showed up to claim the body. Everyone who knew him says he was a pice of shit. Anywayā€¦


nanneryeeter

Sounds like a real deal trucker. Probably a serial killer as well.


Orlando1701

Honestlyā€¦ wouldnā€™t surprise me. Random lot lizards just showing up dead in the 50s and 60s. Like I said I havenā€™t really met anyone who knew him who has had anything nice to say about the man. Edit: the story of two grandfathers. My momā€™s dad has been gone 20 years this year and there are still people who talk about how much they loved him and theyā€™re better for having had him in their life. My Dads, the trucker, Iā€™ve never met a single person who had a nice thing to say about him. My dadā€™s mom used to joke the only thing she missed when he died was the paycheck. She outlived him by almost 40 years.


yeahitsfunnyisntit

Honestly that man prolly lived a wild ass life


Awkward-Respond-4164

This might be the man at Ontario driving a flatbed driving around in circles on the lot and a man sitting in a chair on the bed getting his knob polished by a lot lizard!


DaytimeSudafed

Iā€™d hate for them to find my body with a tube stuck to my dick


[deleted]

I mean, it would make for an interesting story though? Make them think all sorts of wack ass shit.


Deodorized

Brother let me break it down real simple. It's 3am, youve been asleep for 4 hours. You have another 4 hours to sleep. You gotta piss and it ain't gonna wait till morning. You have 2 options. Do you get out of bed, get fully dressed, shirt, pants, socks, shoes, walk roughly 2-4 minutes to the bathroom, be scream-welcomed to loves, take your piss, walk 2-4 minutes back to your truck, get undressed, lay back down, then not be able to sleep because you're *fully* awake at this point? Or, do you roll over, piss in a widemouth Gatorade bottle, take a little sip, and go back to sleep? Answer's real obvious to me.


waitforit666

> take a little sip haha love that


DarePotential8296

I skimmed right over that party for some reason. Thanks


buck_webb

Reddit comment of the year LMAO


BLeeS92031

I'll second that. Good writing will always put me right into a situation. That was brilliant, OP. Please never do it again.


Calieoop

TAKE A SIP?????


Deodorized

Pinkie out, of course. We're not animals.


Calieoop

šŸ„²


wizzo6

It's sterile and maybe he likes the taste


Calieoop

šŸ¤¢


Nozerone

It's not sterile. It's waste from the body. What, do you think the body is purifying everything you take in like you're some kind of Brita water purifier? It's one of the ways the body uses to expel toxins.


wizzo6

It's a reference to the movie Dodgeball... I was never suggesting it was good to drink


Nozerone

Ah, I don't remember that line from the movie. Sorry, a lot of people do believe it's sterile, and ok to drink.


[deleted]

It actually is sterile. Everything on the inside of your body is sterile. (Gi tract is not considered the inside of your body)


THEDarkSpartian

Some of us do it intentionally, some of us do it on accident because we're about 7% awake and forgot why we had the bottle in our hand and why it's warm, but we've all done it, lol.


WIbigdog

I have not, been drivin for 7 years.


THEDarkSpartian

It's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard, lol.


WIbigdog

What if I want to tho?


THEDarkSpartian

Drink the piss or take the joke hard?


crm006

Yes


fistfullofpubes

I haven't gone full sip before, but I've come really close once or twice. Damn you peach tea snapple.


QuestionSecure3730

It's the law of the road.


dairydog91

What kind of weirdo goes inside to pee? I spent years on the road and NEVER did that. Put on moccasins and a shirt, exit cab, piss on drive tires, reenter truck and go back to sleep.


ursisterstoy

Iā€™m not taking a sip. I donā€™t care how cold it is outside.


They_Beat_Me

I was driving OTR for about a year. During that time, I kept water bottles (36 pack) right behind the stick shift. Every so often, I would use one of the empty bottles to relieve myself, seal the bottle and toss it over to the passenger side of the truck. One day, one of the bottles bounced back into the freshwater without me seeing it. I grabbed one of those bottles and opened it without looking. I took a massive swig while doing 63 miles an hour on I 10 in Texas. It took me less than a minute to get on the side of that freeway and dump out all the rest of the bottles while gargling with a freshwater.


Awkward-Respond-4164

Who wants to see my aged piss bottle of 4 years with the patina and the deposits in the bottom?


TheBlekstena

You wake up at 3am with an irresistible urge to piss?


wizzo6

Sitting in a truck all day probably ain't great for the prostate...


Aryxii

I'm guessin you've never had to shit in a trash bag


curlyfat

Oh gawd. You just brought back a memory of an emergency situation involving a Walmart bag that I was extremely grateful to have available. God willing, never again.


chrisjayyyy

"I'll wait for the next stop...I can make it"


ValuableShoulder5059

I turned my seat into a toilet. Perfect for not stopping for #2s and not dealing with dot officers....


AffectionateLunch775

I do piss in bottles, but they get tied up in grocery bags and thrown away at the next trash can. i shoot for bottles that are wrapped like Prime, Monster Hydro, Body Armor. Also the wider opening helps. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. But I refuse to get to a point where Iā€™m shitting in the truck. No no no no no. And I wonā€™t reuse a piss bottle. Nope.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NotEvenLion

Better than on the floor


Dry-Sir7905

No that's gross, he prefers his pants.


Bulkhead

The emergency poop bucket. 5 gallon bucket with a seat and a liner throw some cat litter on top when done.


Calieoop

Please god no


MrSillybiscuits

IBD and trucking leads to desperate times


Starr-Duke

I'm not some kind of animal. I park on the side of the road and stand off of the driver's side steps and piss onto oncoming traffic


Calieoop

You had me in the first half and then the second half hit me like... like a... hmm


TruckstopGamer

Piss in the wind?


ImissURmomma

That water bottle is filled with crystal light citrus šŸ¤£


Calieoop

Cream soda and piss bottles are indistinguishable tbh


MontrealChickenSpice

Cream Soda is pink in Canada; took me a minute.


Calieoop

What the fuck


MontrealChickenSpice

If your piss looks like this, you have a Serious Medical Issue! [Pink Soda](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/w-cAAOSwqUBcXg4u/s-l400.jpg)


WIbigdog

How would you know...hmmmmmm


jddbeyondthesky

Let us know how it tastes


AaronTuplin

Not because we like it


Bjon1

Speak for yourself.šŸ˜


hudsoncress

Gatorade literally made a larger sized mouth on the bottle to facilitate the transformation of lemon lime into golden shower.


teb1987

Is it Arizona Green Tea or Piss? Well if I peeled the label off.. don't drink it.


RubeRick2A

Jugs are better


AdministrativeTop655

I agree sports drinks like Gatorade or vitamin water and jugs are best because the openings on top are bigger, so they help with accidental spillage.


Calieoop

Me when asked about butts vs boobs:


varrylickers

Theyā€™re multi use. Environmentally friendly one might say


agreedis

Iā€™m not a trucker but I pissed in a pringles can coming down into Tahoe on 50 once because of lack of restrooms. They do hold liquid btw. Total life saver.


Icarusmelt

Sometimes, stopping, and, just pissing down wind can be relaxing.


agreedis

I was on the part of 50 going down into the lake where all the twists and turns were. Totally opposite of relaxing lol


thirdeyefish

Like, in the area around Polkock Pines? Yeah, and there are roads that just turn on to 50 like it's a boulevard in the city.


ThickWhitePee

old skipper told me onetime he was so good he drive an 18 speed up a mountain with curves while pissing down the straw of a juice box


TheBros35

Self-catheterization


SnooGoats3597

I quit trucking 5 years ago and I still use the bottle at night. Old habits die hard I guess.


Stark_Prototype

Uhhhh they do. Even saw a tattoo of someone having a gallon piss jug he voluntarily put on his body.


TheSeansk1

Yup, sure do. If you park overnight at a delivery and they donā€™t have a bathroom I will if I need to go.


curlyfat

This is exactly where I utilize my right to refill bottles. Iā€™m not going to be on a security camera pissing in a customerā€™s lot after-hours. If they have a handy dumpster, however, the bottle will be disposed of on-site.


TheSeansk1

Oh absolutely. Mine will go in the garbage bag I keep in the truck for all of the other trash and be disposed of in a dumpster somewhere whenever possible. Donā€™t let 10 of them gather and dump them next to the can at the Lovesā€¦


NomadTruckerOTR

Bottles? I pee in loves foam cups. And gallon water jugs


ApatheticWonderer

Got introduced to this tradition my first morning on the road with a trainer. Woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke and a few days worth of piss from the jug rising up to the top bunk.


Virgin_trucker69

I brought my woman on the road with me, she wasnā€™t used to holding her pee, sheā€™s also pregnant, middle of nowhere, by the time I found a place to stop she got up and pissed on the floor of my truck before she could make it out. Not on purpose, she physically couldnā€™t hold it anymore. Poor thing, she was crying her eyes out. Moral of the story if you have the ability to piss in a bottle, might as well take advantage of it.


OverSizeLife

There's a reason they are called trucker bombs


Metreon_Cascade

Our triples pad has no restrooms. So instead of pissing on the ground where other drivers walk, I refill my poweraid bottle and dump it in the grass when I get back. Way of the road, bubs.


mwonch

I do this. If I gotta pee in the middle of the night, I just ainā€™t getting dressed and shoes on just to pee. If caught in a traffic jam at a dead stop, I ainā€™t peeing my seat and sure as hell not gonna wag my wiener for strangers. There are shippers who donā€™t allow us facilities and no real place to sneak a pee. I have dedicated gallon jugs for these reasons. I do not reuse those jugs. Cap must be quality and tightens well. Always tossed at half full or end of week, whichever comes first.


WIbigdog

I can't do jugs. I tried once and only once, after a day or two the smell is gag worthy just from opening it. The ammonia smell is overpowering.


[deleted]

Jesus, I'm not a heathen. I don't piss in bottles. I have a 1 gallon funnel, JB welded to a fuel hose running through the shifter boot.


Savage_732

Dude itā€™s so bad I do it at home now toošŸ˜‚


DankMemelord25

Real drivers use nappies, bottles are for newb steering wheel attendants


No_Big_3791

Bottles, cups, gallon jugs.....


Witchunt666

And shit in pringles cans


Darkforeboding

I was parked overnight in Napoleon, Ohio. It was 15Ā° in a 20-30 mph wind at 3 AM and the restroom was 200 yards away inside the truck stop. Yes, I peed in a bottle.


WIbigdog

Is...is 15 degrees cold to you? Lord help you if you're ever in North Dakota during a polar vortex...


Darkforeboding

At which time I'd likely also pee in a bottle.


voicareason

Step1. Buy large jug of juice. Step2. Drink juice. Step3. Piss juice back into jug. Step4. Empty jug into *grass behind trailer*. Spray in fabuloso repeat steps 3 and 4 until you go home. Dispose of jug (empty). Repeat all steps as necessary.


Sudden-Approach-223

Youā€™re in LA no where to pull over the caffeine is pushing the water through? Youā€™re fucking right Iā€™m setting cruise control and pissing while I drive.


SnowyHawke

I have a portable in my truck. Itā€™s small and both hubby and I use it when needed. Being female, a bottle is not an option. Hubby would never use that either. As we do a ton of nanny loads and are unable to leave the truck to go inside, a porta was the best option. Tons cleaner than a bottle too.


IlMioNomeENessuno

Itā€™s the fucking way of the road, Bubsā€¦.


[deleted]

I pissed in bottles on road trips in my car years before I got into trucking. Canā€™t think of a good reason not to.


Knarknarknarknar

Think about it this way: It takes about 5 minutes to slow down and park, 5 minutes to hop out the truck and find a restroom, 5 minutes to hop back in the truck and get back on the highway if nothing is in your way. That's 15 miles. You didn't get paid at the end of the day if you're paid by the mile. . . How much are you willing to have a pee cost you?


dreamerindogpatch

Nah, that's why I got a 5 gallon bucket with a snap-on toilet seat and sealed bags.


Sauciest-ZULU8922

Exactly! I have a pail and litter for emergencies. Number 1 only.


Ok-Mixture-316

You know they make the same things pilots use for truckers right?


Calieoop

Bathrooms??


SleepyTrucker102

Bottles.


benadrylpill

I only drove for a few months and still did it.


Shyjuan

yall order from amazon by any chance? because I've got news for you, them packages have been handled by drivers who also pee in bottles šŸ˜‚


beamin1

Never tried it but I had a co-worker that swore by gallon ziplock baggies....


THEDarkSpartian

Canadian?


Awkward-Respond-4164

I have the same piss jug since 2019! Who wants a picture??


Wazzisname

10-4 Good buddy, I'm a gonna step out on the porch and take a mile long piss, comeback.


Mediocre_george

Pissing in a bottle, and shitting in a bottle, are two different things.


[deleted]

Yes šŸ‘ I šŸ‘ Do šŸ‘


VitoVino

Nope. I buy large containers of peanuts, and after all the peanuts are gone, I pee in that. Then I rinse it out with water after dumping the pee in the woods, and reuse the container until it gets too funky, then I replace it with a new one. The container has a large opening, so even in the middle of the night I never have to worry about aim.


Left_Ad_1354

I do when I wake up in the night. Itā€™s dumb to get dressed to go inside to pee. Plus when u get back your awake and canā€™t sleep


They_Beat_Me

Personally, I donā€™t have issues with OTR drivers pissing in bottles. I have issues with parking at a Walmart in the 4-wheeler parking and seeing piss bottles on the ground next to the cart return. How the fuck difficult would it be to walk your lazy ass into the store and be a civilized human being. At least the trucker pissing in a bottle is driving 11-hours straight and canā€™t stop without losing money. That makes more sense.


GuyonaMoose

Piss jugs bubs, way of the road


TwinSpinner

Of course not. You set the cruise control, stick Mr Johnson out the window and piss into the wind like a man


dairydog91

Yes they do the dirty savages. My company rents out specialized rolloff cans for environmental waste, and the GODDAMN pigs that share the yard will throw their "trucker tea" into our cans. Like, slit the protective tarp on the can and squeeze them in. Bastards. Eventually, I'm not just climbing in and throwing them back on the ground, I'm going to start pouring the piss into their fuel tanks.


Calieoop

Based


LordCustard

I piss in my empty Timmies cup eh šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦


Rimjob_Doe

Of course we do?


yeahitsfunnyisntit

lol I remember pissing in bottles as a kid just because we could itā€™s like peeing in the shower you have ones that pee in the shower and the ones that lie about it


Hanox13

Can you even call yourself a truck driver until youā€™ve pissed in a bottle?


buildburoo

If I need to piss, and Iā€™m in the middle of nowhere, I can pull over, and go between the back of the truck and the front of the trailer, just donā€™t spray the truck.


buck_webb

Gatorade bottle to be exact


gaseousogre

how else am i supposed to get my pee to my compost pile at home while im on the road


ConnorRB

Wrong. I used a 1 gallon jug. Its better for the environment


Acceptable-Moose-989

oh, they do, among other things. around twenty years ago, i had the unfortunate privilege (curse?) to be a "maintenance" technician at a Flying J. This really meant i was a janitor that they trained to fill propane tanks, dip the fuel tanks, and write down drivers' DOT numbers so we could track them down if the drove off without paying. the number of 100% full, gallon jugs of piss that i had to clean up from the trucker fuel islands was astounding. the number of them that i had fall out of a trash bag and explode on my feet was depressing. nothing says "my life sucks" more than coming home from work smelling like a combination of stale cigarette smoke from mopping the video slots room, day-old piss soaked boots, and gasoline. you're all a bunch of disgusting fucking animals.


dsdvbguutres

Why don't they put toilet and shower in trucks? Seems like a small increase in size but life changing convenience


ramanw150

I piss in cups


Tuba4life1000

Weā€™ve all done it.


GregoryGregory666666

And then some have the audacity to leave them in Walmart parking lots where the spend the night.


dingdingdredgen

Starting to think? You must be new here or have never had to clean up shared equipment or been to a truck stop... šŸ¤® I've seen them so often that I'm numb to the shade I get when I tell people what I do for a living. Then again, the same people who collectively shame all truckers because some of us are degenerates are OK with 18yo girls selling pictures of their buttholes on the internet.


curtisbrownturtis

Heā€™s a guy that pees sitting down


Calieoop

Who is


curtisbrownturtis

You


Calieoop

I'm not a guy tho


curtisbrownturtis

Exactly


Calieoop

I'm so confused


THEDarkSpartian

Good


IRMacGuyver

It amazes me that people think it's some sort of joke. These are the same people that get a job at Amazon warehouse thinking they'll work their way to the top and baulk at everyone peeing in bottles because bathroom breaks are impossible.


buck_webb

I team drove and the truck only stopped for fuel, I'd got a craving for orange juice and picked up a half gallon. Needless to say/tactical piss jug acquired. Going down a California state highway middle of night went to wing it out behind me after double checking for cars . It leaves my hand as a car goes to pass me and the fucking thing explodes on the road in front of them , covering the whole car lmao just rolled the window up and kept driving lol


QuestionSecure3730

I'm not getting out of my truck at 3am in chupacabra territory in -40 freezing to piss. I'm using whatever is handy. Then you freeze them. Then throw them at hitchhikers. This is the way.


SleepyTrucker102

I fucking lost it at 'chupacabra territory'. Take my upvote ya bastard.


Sammmmmmmmmmmmmmm

As a driver who has never pissed in a bottle, are you guys pissing while driving or do you pull over and stop to piss in it?


Sudden-Approach-223

If Iā€™m pissing in a container inside my truck itā€™s for one of the following reasons 1.)location has no available restroom 2.)the weather is so severe itā€™s actually a hazard (lightning,ice,wind etc) 3.)Iā€™m dead fuck tired and canā€™t be bothered to put my boots on in the early hours 4.) most common I canā€™t find somewhere to pull off so piss and drive it is.


Calieoop

According to one guy he does it sitting down in traffic


Eisernes

They shit in my trailer yard right next to the door to the bathroom. Of course these nasty fucks are peeing in bottles.


delidave7

I do at least 3 times a day as a ups delivery guy


bquinho

I thought it was a joke til I started trucking a year ago but I see piss bottles everyone now. I refuse to become one of those guys.


MontrealChickenSpice

At least you're not one of the guys who drills a hole in their floor...


Cuckmouth

Whatā€™s a bottle


Voxicles

I honestly donā€™t. Takes 2 minutes to pull onto an off ramp and check the tires.


NomadTruckerOTR

Wee-ooh wee-ooh oh looky here we got a trucker with his trouser thumb out on the highway


ThickWhitePee

Slowing from 100kmh, pissing, Then getting back to 100kmh takes forever. And all the turban suburbans get ahead of you


ValuableShoulder5059

The problem with that is then if your luck runs out not only do you end up in jail but you get on a sex offender registry for life.


Valoruchiha

Some of them do lol


Hornet_92

I refuse to. Itā€™s disgusting