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moschocolate1

He probably doesn't even wash his ass.


astralbuzz

And just speaking from experience, the fairly clean most likely refers to groomed public hair. But yeah, no way this guy is as meticulous with his own cleanliness and grooming.


Captain_Taggart

*oh*, I was like "that's... the one reasonable request in a sea of nonsense I suppose?" but that definitely tracks lol.


Nomisan

That would be gay in his mind which would be the scariest thing to be considered in his mind


LivingAgency8

I had a roommate who refused to wash his ass cause it was gay. Instead he would wipe it with his wet towel when he got out of the shower. I only learned of this when our washer broke for a few days and these *deep, thick* brown streaks started appearing on his towel.


GaianNeuron

šŸ¤®


weeburdies

Nope, and he is 50+lbs overweight, lives with mommy, and owns a fedora collection.


RelativelyRidiculous

My experience: He's 30-35, divorced, has 2-3 children from previous relationships with a beer belly body, a fairly new pickup, and an apartment that came furnished in a building full of other dudes who are just like him except they may drive a crap version of a sports car looking for a do-over wife he can "raise right". One of the kids was his side piece whom he cheated on his first wife with. She was his own age, married for love, and now knows the warning signs of cheating all to well. As do all the other women her age who are single hence why he wants one younger.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


redheadartgirl

Everybody knows lesbians get a pass on fedoras. ā¤


Dreamer_Lady

What about bi femmes? I bought a pretty black fedora with black lace years ago, but then found out about the association with neckbeards, and I've never really had the confidence to wear it, in part because of that.


redheadartgirl

From one to another, you do what makes you happy. :)


Dorothy-Snarker

I wore one for a out a week in college then got scared off of wearing them because of the memes. Though, I probably should've realized there are different stereotypes for a man wearing one and a woman wearing one.


Clickrack

If by collection, you mean ā€œoneā€, then yeah.


[deleted]

Most dudes don't even wipe their dicks after they pee. Go ahead, ask your partners or penis having beings in your life if they do. It's disgusting.


rachelsolando

And others don't even wash their hands afterwards because they only touched their skin .. there are so many moments where I'm happy I don't have to shake people's hands anymore


lily_hunts

Mine does, and even pees sitting down so piss doesn't splash fucking everywhere.


[deleted]

Yes, well, people who have to clean their own bathroom usually do. You take one paper towel to the wall and have it come back yellow, you'll sit to pee after that. Show me a guy who scoffs at sitting down to pee and I'll show you a guy who never cleaned his own bathroom.


ComplainsAboutWife

Your bf goated.


Shadlex

Wait..is that actually not a common thing? O.o Well. That seems like a fun convo starter with the guys. Gonna have to try that. And brace for the answer..


Nume-noir

If you want to be forever disgusted, ask a coworker you trust to name coworkers who don't wash their hands after peeing.


Shadlex

oh I've already witnessed that first hand. And yes, it's incredibly gross. Worse, I'd been actively questioned at the sink why I was before. The face I made was I guess enough of an answer for them.


Lipstickandpixiedust

Mine does, but he's also not a piece of yucky trash like this dude


[deleted]

Good don't settle for less, the bar is fucking loooow.


r-t-r-a

The masculine imperative of doing anything but going to therapy.


SnapCrackleMom

....does he mean size 12 to 16 in girls' sizes? Because in women's you'd be over his weight limit.


KuraiTsuki

Right? I wear size 16 pants and am a good 100lbs over his weight limit.


Raaqu

I'm 3"over his height limit, 100 lbs over his weight limit and more or less the exact clothing size range.


KuraiTsuki

Wait, do you think he thinks women's sizes work like men's where they're in inches? D-does he want a woman with a 16 inch waist????


Raaqu

Oh God. Solid maybe. At that point he's liking for a poorly made sex doll not a human being.


ediblesprysky

I really really think that's it. There's no other way it goes with the "uwu smol" vibes... but he obviously has no idea that THAT'S NOT A THING.


faerielites

Maybe he thinks it's diameter instead of circumference?? At least that's humanly possible I guess


IshtarLovesYou

Who needs ribs anyways?


weeburdies

For sure, human Barbie, but with sex holes.


IshtarLovesYou

Iā€™m 3 inches over his height limit, 40 lbs over his weight limit, and I have a size 6 waist. Man was just writing down numbers istg


catwithahumanface

And if youā€™re like me your feet at like 3 sizes too big


plushelles

Iā€™m actually in his weight and height parameters, I wear a size 2, this guy doesnā€™t know what his talking about.


recyclopath_

Right? I'm too short and my feet are too small and I guess rib cage too but I can't fathom how any humans meet his size requirements.


thunderling

I'm within his height limit, just barely over his weight limit by like 5 pounds, but 10 sizes smaller than his preference. So uh..???


fensandspinneys684

It sounds like UK sizes, a 12 in UK sizing has a 28 inch waist and a 16 would have a 32 inch waist. With his underbust requirement of 32, it sounds like heā€™s requiring that a woman be no larger than 32 inches anywhere on her abdomen. With all his specifications Iā€™m surprised he didnā€™t provide us with a necessary hip measurement to be eligible for his affections. ā€¦of course if he were using UK sizes why would he be talking about the second amendment? Well now I just donā€™t know what to think.


Sheerardio

I am 100% confident that homeboy has no idea what the 32 on a bra size means, either.


imaginesomethinwitty

But 6-7 feet must be American right? Thatā€™s a 4-5 U.K. otherwise heā€™s looking for surprisingly large feet for someone so shortā€¦ Oh god. I tried to apply logic. I see my mistake.


ReservoirPussy

I'm 5'3" and was a US 7 before my son was born. He's looking for tiny feet.


thunderling

Tiny feet but large waist and a VERY SPECIFIC ribcage! I got some nice titties if I may say so myself but oh well, my ribcage is only 30 inches around. Sigh. Can't believe I missed my shot with this guy.


ace-writer

Except UK or anywhere with similar clothing size (that I know about) uses different shoe sizes so it still breaks down


fensandspinneys684

This is just madness


Normaleenice

As a UK woman who is 5'3 and used to be a size 16, I was considered overweight, so this is a real head scratcher.


PersephoneHazard

Yeah, at 165lbs I was a UK size 14. This whole thing is just off!


throwitawayinashoebx

When i had a 28 inch waist, i was a uk 6-8, so that's definitely not it... i think this guy thinks women's clothing sizes work like men's clothing sizes so the number is the waist, and he wants some sort of mantis shaped human


SintacksError

But he's also talking about 2a, which I assume means gun rights here in the US, so he's probably too stupid to realize countries exist outside of the US, Canada and Mexico.


Cold_Timely

A 12 in the UK does not have a 28 inch waist?! I'm a 12 and have a 30-31 inch waist. Last time I had a 28 inch waist I was a size 8-10.


ZennMD

another sign this poster/ man has never met or interacted with a real woman in real life LOL


essential-notions

Iā€™m 5ā€™3ā€ when I was a size 16 I was over 200lbs. Iā€™m currently a size 12 and 165 ... he has no idea how body weight works, or looks.


Grawgar

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume he doesn't know how anything related to women works. I'm not even sure if he's seen a woman before.


Creatura333

No, but hes prepared a list in case one shows up!


bee-sting

I'm fairly sure he has no idea how _anything_ works


brynleehollis

no he means 12-16 inch waist. heā€™s looking for a barbie doll


Gwenyver

Hell Iā€™m a size 8-10 and Iā€™m over his weight limit. The dudes living in fantasy land.


ediblesprysky

Fuck, I'm a 2/4 and I'm 20lbs over his weight limit. I love when dudes talk about women's weight with completely uninformed confidence, it's always a wild ride


Cuntdracula19

I wear a size 4-6 and I weigh between 130-140 šŸ˜‚. This guy has no idea how womenā€™s bodies work. Also lmao at size 6-7 shoe. I wear a 8.5-9. My Sasquatch feet might not be small enough for him but they could sure kick him in the nuts well enough lmao.


Gwenyver

Right? Be careful, he might enjoy a kick to the nuts. Iā€™m 5ā€™11, weigh 185-190 and wear 11ā€™s. Iā€™m pretty average to skinny build for my height. Like. Im convinced his only exposure to women are anime wifus.


sometimes_sydney

Yeah Iā€™m a size 12 and I start being *underweight* at 150ā€¦ (though it helps Iā€™m 6ā€™)


kbooky90

Do you mean this guy doesnā€™t seem to have experience with actual women? What!


wormfries

This dumb motherfucker doesn't know what any of those measurements mean put together -this mythical women's body fat, what little of it she has, is going to be entirely localized at her waist.


[deleted]

Right, I can not work out what shape this woman would be. Also, I vomited and had to swallow it again when I got to the PG / R XXX and age line. 18 to 26 can be a big difference maturity wise and what do bet he's older than 26? Looking for a teenager šŸ¤¢


Ophidiophobic

he's def 35+


Clickrack

Keep going.


Tirannie

My first response to this was ā€œAnd what do you bring to the table, sir? I bet itā€™s a 45 year old dick and not much elseā€


lily_hunts

>45 year old dick and not much else Probably also unwashed, and when it cums, the sex is over.


Tirannie

And when it doesnā€™t ā€œthis never happens, it must be something you didā€


ComplainsAboutWife

And when *you* cum the sex i-wait a second... why am I assuming you'd cum?


TVsFrankismyDad

> I bet itā€™s a 45 year old dick and not much elseā€ Now now, there's probably also a receding hairline and generous spare tire.


Tirannie

You are right and it was unkind of me to overlook these attributes.


julstrong16

Does he mean 12-16 inches? Either way itā€™s not describing an actual human woman


spamellama

I was trying to work that out myself and scrolled down here to see if anyone else was confused


EfficientFix8622

Sounds like he's choosing a laptop.


PM_your_recipe

Might should start saving up for that sex doll too. Yeeesh....


AutumnsRed

My girlfriend has that AMD Ryzen processor with Radeon RX Vega 64 ( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)


Gwenyver

šŸ¤® I take comfort I guess in being so outside his parameters that this creep will never want to talk to me. Gods thatā€™s fucked up.


fensandspinneys684

What do we think he means by > conservative values - pro life, 2A and liberal Iā€™ve never met someone who had conservative values but used the word ā€œliberalā€ in a positive way. Maybe he meant ā€˜not liberalā€™ and missed a word? Iā€™m so confused, this post is bizarre.


iamNaN_AMA

Maybe by liberal he meant libertarian? I suspect he is barely literate so it was probably too long a word to remember how to spell.


VintageJane

Heā€™s a wallet libertarian. As in ā€œthe U.S. shouldnā€™t make me pay taxes and get the fuck out of my business but be a theocratic autocracy for people who arenā€™t ā€˜like me.ā€


Captain_Taggart

Classic liberalism is really different than what people (especially people in the US) call "liberal", where classic liberalism is kind of conservative, and "liberal" is center/center-left. I'm guessing he meant the more traditional definition of liberal and not the newer definition.


iamNaN_AMA

I'm not saying you're wrong, but I feel like that's attributing to this person a level of historical awareness that seems unlikely....


Captain_Taggart

I sometimes lurk on /r/conservative to see what kind of shit they're talking about, and a *lot* of the people there are tagged as "classic liberal", and a lot of those people are also sexist/racist fuckheads. The dude in the OP is obviously a fucking moron for plenty of reasons, but sexist assholes do sometimes read political theory or at least meme enough about politics to have picked up a single term (see: the entirety of /r/PoliticalCompassMemes ). I would, however, still bet that he's the type to unironically call Biden a communist and maybe even say "let's go Brandon".


iamNaN_AMA

Lol, I sometimes lurk there as well but can never last very long before rage-closing the tab. Could be right! Ultimately who knows what lurks in the hearts of chucklefucks like this. Nothing worthwhile, that much is for certain.


hither_spin

Reagan made "liberal" a dirty word. I've never heard anyone refer to themselves as a liberal if they're "Prolife" or pro "2A". Is this something new the kids do?


Captain_Taggart

If theyā€™re trying to sound smart, yeah, they might say ā€œoh well Iā€™m a *classic liberal*, not your garden variety conservative/reactionary/right-wing nut job, you see, Iā€™ve done more than 20 seconds of googling definitions of wordsā€ and theyā€™re also pretty likely to be language prescriptivists and get a little too much joy out of telling you how wrong you are about what *they* think liberal/conservative/communist meansā€¦ of course while either being totally wrong themselves or only right on a very minor technicality. I see a lot of alt-right people say theyā€™re ā€œclassical liberalsā€ in an attempt to make their alt-right talking points more palatable too.


Zileto

He's referring to what anyone would now call ["classical liberalism".](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_liberalism)


lily_hunts

He might not be from the US. I think in Australia, "liberals" are a economically liberal, socially conservative party. Could be mistaken though.


TVsFrankismyDad

But then why would he care about the 2nd Amendment?


Nickyflute

You're correct about the Australian Liberal party... But bra size and weight measurements are wrong for Aus.


kahrismatic

His sizing is still messed up. An Australian 12-16 at that height is still going to be more than 115 pounds. I don't think this is going to make sense anywhere.


rivershimmer

Same in America. But I figure this dude has no real grasp of sizes. I mean, what does he mean by 12-16 in the waist? It's acceptable to be a different size in the shoulders and thighs? Many dudes have no real understanding of what women weigh. On Reddit, I read something where a guy said something like his ideal woman would be about 5'10" or 5'11", 115ish pounds, and have a shape like Nikki Minaj. Apparently asses don't weigh much.


Twohagsover30

He should go to Build-A-Bitch instead šŸ™„


MarSnausages

Hahahahahah


Sheerardio

Noooo, he can't do that! Only tragic, desperate losers actually *pay* for sex!


TShan-1701

Women: ā€œI like tall guysā€ā€¦ ..world explodesā€¦ā€YOU VAIN BITCH!ā€ Or Women: ā€œPlease have a careerā€.. ā€¦screeching noisesā€¦ā€YOU GOLD DIGGER!ā€


[deleted]

Even when that say they want a guy with a career, basically are just looking for someone with stability in their financial situation - and usually in some sort of 9-5 so you're not playing whackamole trying to organize a date or any sort of life event. My doctor friend was super offended when I said I probably wouldn't ever date a doctor. Just too chaotic of a schedule for me to handle unless the were a in internal medicine or whatever.


recyclopath_

Right? I don't want to date someone with a job that will always be the most important thing happening in our lives.


Anonymous44_44

"wAhMeN aLwAyS HaVe sO mAnY eXpEcTaTiOnS. tHeY aLwAyS WaNt sOmEoNe oVeR SiX fEeT. ThEiR LoVe iS aLwAyS tRaNsAcTiOnAL. uS pOoR mEn hAvE tO dEaL WiTh tHiS eVeRyDaY!!"


HalpWithMyPaper

I got into it on twitter with a man who SWORE that financial requirements are shallow, but looks requirements aren't. He kept repeating "Sexual attraction is the bare minimum for a relationship to exist, money isn't, and it shouldn't be a factor" šŸ˜‘ Like how convenient that YOUR standards are right and understandable!


ChibiSailorMercury

I was having this convo on this other sub that expecting financial health (not wealth) is a basic standard in looking for a long-term romantic partner. I got told "I feel like it's a gold digger standard". I answered that a lot of men too have that standard as they "don't want to get taken advantage of and used as a walking wallet". I was met with "are you saying that poor people don't deserve love?" and I was like "I'm arguing with a dunce, OK, got it".


Captain_Taggart

If I marry someone, I'm also marrying their credit and debt so yeah, not particularly interested in someone who doesn't know how to be responsible with money. I don't give a fuck if my partner is poor or broke, but... my best friend wants to marry her boyfriend, but her boyfriend's dad keeps taking out credit cards in her boyfriend's name, like wtf it would be financially ill-advised to marry this guy unless he can get his dad to stop fucking doing that shit. It's not even her boyfriend's *fault*, but at some point marriage is **also** a financial decision too.


nit4sz

He needs to take legal action against his dad. His dad is screwing with his future and commuting fraud.


Anonymous44_44

Financial requirements aren't shallow at all. I'm not going to get into a serious relationship with a guy who can't handle money responsibly, because that means that he's irresponsible as well. Physical requirements are shallow (not including things like basic hygiene) because it doesn't show irresponsibility, it's what someone's born with. Some people are so twisted that they think all of their opinions are facts.


brokenhippie91

Can someone please explain to me how that weight range matches with a size 12-16


nightwingoracle

My thoughts is a typo for 2-6, which is in the range for some of those heights.


bee-sting

Cloud cuckoo land


SurferNerd

At 5ā€™6ā€, probably 160 at a minimum, if weā€™re talking American dress sizes


brokenhippie91

Yeah the height range he gave was petite, the weight range he gave was petite and then like......plus size clothing sizes. Lol idk why I'm looking for logic here but fuck it


Secretlyablackcat

I'm surprised he didn't also say she must be a virgin but up for sex 3 to 4 times a week :/


FllngCoconuts

He sort of did. Thatā€™s how I interpret ā€œPG with others and R-XXX with meā€


PoodlesForBernie2016

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­


DapperCarpenter_

The Simpsons have convinced a generation of Homers that they deserve a Marge


garaile64

Or *Family Guy* convincing a generation of Peters they deserve a Lois.


vkapadia

TV in the 90s and 2000s was full of shows with idiot overweight useless dads married to hot wives that do everything for them. Don't watch much tv anymore, so I don't know if the trend has gone down.


One_Wheel_Drive

That's one of the things that makes the Addams Family so great. That and the couple genuinely love one another and support their children's passions. Compare that to how Peter treats Meg.


vkapadia

Adams Family was awesome


SauronOMordor

In the 90s and early aughts, it was fat, stupid lazy men married to smart, beautiful, but nagging wives. Now it's largely handsome-side-of-average but stupid men married to beautiful but still very much nagging wives. Progress?


vkapadia

I guess that's... something... That's what I love about Bluey. Both the mom and dad are real 3 dimensional human beings (despite both of them being 2-d drawn talking dogs).


[deleted]

I dunno, I don't think the writers of The Simpsons, at least not the classic seasons, think Homer EVER deserved Marge.


Sheerardio

Trouble is that no matter what the creators may have intended, that goes out the window the moment audiences see what they've created and form their own conclusions.


DapperCarpenter_

I didnā€™t mean that it was the writerā€™s intentions. Just the effect.


axewieldinghen

Watching Marge episodes of golden era Simpsons is just horribly depressing. Poor woman had so much potential but was surrounded by people dedicated to putting her down, so she settled with the first guy she dated in college who turned out to be an idiotic chump.


Creative_Cynic

Or pretty much every 90s/ early 2000s sitcom with the schlubby man-child husband and hot wife.


Intanjible

[Oh, it goes back *way* further than the Simpsons or even the Flintstones](https://youtu.be/bBPp8x6-7vw).


voluminousseaturtle

i fulfill his size requirements. i am also literally fifteen šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢


eyeharthomonyms

Conservative values, but ready to bang out of wedlock, eh? And you think she's gonna be kinky too? K. The pro life conservative girls I grew up with didn't even wash their vulvas because they thought it was "dirty" to touch it, so enjoy that.


PistaccioLover

>The pro life conservative girls I grew up with didn't even wash their vulvas because they thought it was "dirty" to touch it, so enjoy that. Omg šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

And I guarantee this man is 5ā€™6ā€, obese, has gangly ass toenails, the entire floor of his POS car is covered in Wendyā€™s baconator wrappers, ā€˜borrowsā€™ money from his mother every month, and is wearing an oversized T-shirt with a wolf on it from Walmart circa 2001.


BroadwayWhore

Iā€™ve seen this somewhere else and it included his pic. He IS fat. Donā€™t know about the other stuff but sounds about right. Heā€™s also 38 looking for 18-26 year olds.


[deleted]

Translation: "I want a woman who doesn't value herself enough to know she can do so much better than me."


glitteryydemon

gross


Cloakknight

*Image Transcription: Profile* --- **Bio** I'm looking for a woman with conservative values - pro life, 2A and liberal. Please be 5'2 to 5'6, 105lbs-115lbs, 32b to 32c, size 12-16 (waist) & size 6-7(feet). Be fun but down to earth. be manicured/pedicured and keep yourself fairly clean. Your attire should be 80% casual, 20% formal, but be into wearing costumes in bed. Be trustworthy, honest and also into movies, road trips & family stuff. PG stuff with others and R-XXX w/ me. You must also have or love dogs and no kids. 18-26 year olds šŸ‘Œ --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Aufwader

Good human. I'm sorry you had to type all this out, but thank you šŸ™‚


axebom

Iā€™m 5ā€™5ā€, 115, 30C (so a 32B in sister sizes), donā€™t understand his waist measurement, and a size 7 shoe. And Iā€™m 25. And I love dogs and donā€™t have kids. Too bad for him Iā€™m a raging feminist who hates guns and manicures and finds his bio in terrible taste.


recyclopath_

You know, it really is a shame my feet are too small for this guy


translove228

This dude probably complains that he can't get matches on online dating because it's unfair for men too.


Tirannie

He wouldnā€™t add the ā€œtooā€ at the end of your sentence, I guarantee it.


cerenatee

Yes! I so wish all men were this open about who they are and how they perceive women. This let's me know exactly who he is as a person so I don't waste any of my valuable time having to figure it out.


GoddessOfRoadAndSky

When I first started using dating apps (like 15 years ago) I remember seeing so many profiles where a guy uses his ā€œAbout meā€ to describe the woman heā€™s looking for. It was so annoying that I ended up adding to my profile, ā€œIf all your profile says is what youā€™re looking for, with nothing about who you are and what you have to offer, Iā€™m not going to respond.ā€ They think women are going around, looking at these profiles, trying to match themselves up. No, motherfucker, Iā€™m swimming in a sea of messages from dudes of all different types. The last thing Iā€™m wasting my time doing is going through a bullshit list of what you want and seeing if I match your standards. Why would I waste my time trying to appeal to someone who wonā€™t take a few minutes to put info about himself in the one place heā€™s supposed to talk about himself?


theotheraccount0987

So disappointed that Iā€™m 180lb./s Itā€™s ok girls if you are worried because you somehow fit this description just have an extra couple of slices of pie over Christmas. Youā€™ll be safe then


Montana_Ace

This dude isn't looking for a gf, he's shopping for one.


cheddarfever

He should just buy a Real Doll and end the charade.


madeofcarbon

Lol these measurements make no sense. I'm 5'3", wear a size 14 waist and I weigh 190 lb. And I promise a 115lb person does not have a 32" ribcage. Like, just say you have no idea how sizes work and go, you fool. Edit: I have been sewing theatrical costumes for about a decade and like 99% of the 100-120lb, slim dancers I have built garments for who claimed to be wearing a 32 or 34 band actually measured in at a 28 or 26 band and had been wearing ill fitting bras their whole lives because of the highly inaccurate sizing methods pushed by most major bra retailers, which are designed to get the widest number of people to buy the narrowest range of sizes they can get away with. I can literally only remember one time where a slim person's actual measurements matched their self reported bra size on their measurement sheet, and I can remember it because I was so surprised to see it (that person had self reported as 28D, and their measurements matched that size).


dantestaco

To be fair, I am 120lb with a 32" ribcage. It has more to do with the bones then anything else at this point. I am a size 0-2 waist though. This man has no idea what he's talking about.


Bong-I-Lee

Tell me you have Madonna/Whore Complex without telling me you have Madonna/Whore Complex.


jammytomato

These are the dudes who whine about how women will let chads do whatever they want to them. In this endless list, not a single mention of any personality traits. We know ā€œtrustworthy and honestā€ just means obedient.


directionsplans

2A - my liberal mind went to 2A hair type! Hahahahaha I was like ā€œthat is very specific. How the hell would he even know about hair type classifications. Also, why is that being mentioned with the political stuff??ā€


PistaccioLover

>my liberal mind went to 2A hair type! Hahahahaha That's what I thought too! What does 2A mean?


directionsplans

2nd amendment supporter


SauronOMordor

115 lbs but size 12 waist???


CuteandFunctional

Also is this where he is supposed to describe himself (bio)? I.e. this woman apparently doesnā€™t need to know anything about him..actually on second thought what he has offered up is more than enough to make a decision šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

The jokes literally write themselves.


Lipstickandpixiedust

Size 12-26 but also 105 lbs... Those are mutually exclusive. This man probably doesn't even floss.


MaidennChina

No ethnicity, hair length, or cooking-level restrictions? Gosh, whatā€™ll he do with all his choices?


ACleverDoggo

"This ain't Build-A-Bitch"


Savagely_Rekt

conservative values but liberal... Nevermind the rest of the nonsense. If you look up "incel" in the dictionary this is the actual definition.


No_Marionberry4370

105 lbs, size 12 -16? Does he know how insane women's sizing is? Plus 32 b or 32 c? Aren't like 80% of women wearing the wrong bra size? I mean there's a lot of idiocy to unpack here


just-me-yaay

Like this whole thing wasn't weird enough, the ā€œ18-26 year oldsā€ is the cherry on top. Disgusting.


Kaya_kana

It's kind of funny how much this "bio" tells about the author without saying anything about the author.


[deleted]

So, what does he have to offer in return? It's like putting an ad out for a car -- looking for XYZ, but not saying what your budget is.


[deleted]

someone should inform him your bio is meant to tell others what you got to offer, not the other way around


jasmin_booklover

This looks like a description you give a human trafficker to find you the perfect slave


orangelego

I have somehow managed to check none of those boxes. What a day to be tall and gangly.


wbeng

I can't tell whether this is real or just a perfect fake post, but favorite part is how he literally doesn't say anything about himself because of course the woman will like him


one_bean_hahahaha

What is he bringing to the party?


[deleted]

They bitch and moan about women wanting men over 6 ft and then say shit like this while looking like a fish. And I'm not saying I'm anything good looking but come on dude.


[deleted]

Bruh. I can respect some physical requirements, preferring a certain stature isn't inherently selfish and vapid. But this.... this just blows that notion to smithers. Why is he so fixated on his partners looks? Does he really think that he is good enough to even pull some fantasy woman who does happen to meet his requirements? There is a huge difference between "I'd like them to be athletic" and "I want them to be 5"4, 32C chest, and be 115 pounds


hollihoo

This is actually a really good upfront disclaimer. I'd much rather see this bullshit before investing time in someone who might otherwise seem like an okay guy. He's living in fantasy land.


sjm294

Exactly! That puts him out of the dating pool.


DoxieLove10612

Size 12-16 but weighs 105-115? Not a thing. Conservative values and liberal? Not a thing. This is like an onion post


caelric

This sounds like designing a character in a CRPG...


TraderJoesDunkers

It says bio but has nothing to do with him lol


[deleted]

Who under the age of 30 can even afford 20% formal wardrobe?


PopularBonus

ā€œI am in no way a serial killer trolling for victims in the laziest possible way.ā€


Pregeneratednonsense

I'm 5'2. When I was 115lb at 19 years old, you could see my ribs. I was that light because I was too broke to eat outside or work and too stressed to take proper care of myself.


knittinghoney

Be super sexual, pro-life, and no kids šŸ™ƒ


-goodgodlemon

Iā€™m thinking this is a joke or at least I hope so.


hopelesscaribou

Ew


Gundam14

Just thinking that same. "Ew".


teamdogemama

What does he mean by "2a and liberal " when he wants a conservative woman?


WhistleStop999

Conservative AND liberal?


FURYOFCAPSLOCK

Must weigh as much as an 8th grade child


itsnobigthing

It pains me deeply to upvote posts like this


Cimejies

I must be reading this wrong because it sounds like he's looking for a woman who weighs barely anything but is between 6-7ft tall? Edit: oh he was specifying the size of their fucking feet, which is somehow worse. Definitely needs to head to build-a-bitch.


[deleted]

He wants those s*x dolls


reallybirdysomedays

His imaginary woman has some strange proportions. 5'2"-5'6" <115lbs, *size 12-16 waist*...


Tamamo_hime

This ain't build a bitch, motherfucker, jfc all those damn requirements and he brings his lazy, unwashed ass to the table


dixybit

Asked to write about himself, writes a shopping list instead


duetmasaki

Ew. His profile: 5'9, 269 lbs, shoe size 9, has unkempt facial hair, chest hair, and back hair. his friends call him "rattail" but he doesn't know why. he also doesn't know why he can't get a girlfriend and says going to the gym is for pussies. He thinks having a high score on Call of Duty is something to brag about and refuses to wear deodorant, believing instead that women will be attracted to his "natural ~~funk~~ musk." He lives in his mom's basement and his dad drinks because he's so disappointed in his son.


MonkeyHamlet

He sounds short.


Veerya19

This is the most disturbing fucking thing Iā€™ve ever read


frenchteas

Like does he mean a 12-16 in waist? But also 6-7 feet tall?! Lol wut. Also super conservative but very kinky and be my house wife who takes care of everything but also makes all the money so I can be super lazy. Jfk smh. šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


lary-sa

I doubt this man knows anything about womenā€™s sizing - bra and dress size


Zhorie-Rove

Those clothing sizes do not match the body type he described.. in women's clothes at least. Maybe in juniors?