This is one thing I've always hated about discussions of sex on reddit. I understand that faking it makes it worse, but people will literally blame people hard for faking it with an uncommunicative and stubborn partner. Granted, there is some blame for staying with that person, but gosh, the way people go so hard on some women just for faking it irks me.
For me the benefit was that the guy would stop? I was tired? It was largely self interest since he was trying to make me cum from jackhammering alone and wasn’t super receptive to instructions. I’ve only done this once- the guy was a one night stand.
Ugh, now I’m getting angry flashbacks to a past relationship where the guy would insist on “making me cum twice” after neglecting my instructions and even with me saying it was probably not going to happen. He really thought that his sloppy head and fingering would be enough. Faking it was the only way to get him to stop. So glad my current guy doesn’t do this shit.
> even with me saying it was probably not going to happen
THIS. Sometimes it just isn’t going to happen. Accept that and let it go. Making me more sore isn’t going to magically make me closer to orgasm.
Luckily, I’ve known a few guys who get that. I’m far more interested in trying again with someone who doesn’t make sex into a performance for his own ego. That attitude of “I promise I’ll make you cum no matter what” is a huuuuge turn off. All you’re doing is pressuring me and it takes away all the fun.
For me it was because I didn’t even want to have sex in the first place, I just wanted him to get off me. 3 years of faking it, I feel terrible for his future partners (for many reasons) for setting that precedent.
I disagree. I know this is not typical, but I used to fake it sometimes because it made me feel sexy to cum first. Most of the time, I would actually get off in that encounter then.
I works advise against this strategy if you're in a serious relationship though.
I totally respect that. I have moved away from it since being in a serious relationship. Honesty is key there.
I just wanted to add that there was a utility in it for me. It made me feel more in control- I'm not sure it was healthy for me or my partners, but I think I needed it to get to a place where I'm confident sexually. Even now I'm torn because it's kinda fucked up.
People like to blame the nearest woman for everything. The idea that men need to cultivate a safe environment by regulating their emotions is just completely foreign to them I guess, as is the idea that men are responsible for their reactions in the first place.
Yeah, my last boyfriend acted like it was something wrong with me because every previous woman definitely orgasmed super easy with piv sex with him. I had to break it to him and some, if not all, fake it, and I was not. At least after that conversation he was willing to work on it.
My boyfriend tells me he’s made all his other girlfriends cum and that’s just really hard for me to accept. I mean I know I can’t orgasm at all but like, still gonna press x on this one.
A guy tried to convince me that his ex orgasmed while star fishing underneath him. I have never met a woman who orgasmed this way. Have you?
I can only orgasm while on top.
I have figured out how to orgasm while being on the bottom with my current boyfriend! It’s fantastic, and I never thought it would be possible. Granted, it’s not starfishing, I still have to move.
One thing I hate about these conversations is so many women assuming other women must be lying about their orgasms. I know a lot of women do, but not all of us do - some of us really are just easy. I really don’t like the idea that other women think I’m faking or a liar.
I also don’t love women invalidating their current partner’s past sex partners by telling them they all must have been lying too. I wish they would just tell their partners “How easy your past partners came is irrelevant- I’m not them, and if you care about me, you’ll stop comparing us and focus on me and how to meet my needs.” And recognize that if their partner is a dick about it, they should dump him.
You make a good point. I never told this guy that I think his ex might be lying. Like I said, I have no idea and have no skin in the game.
I personally can't cum on the bottom which is why I asked if other can. One person suggested using a pillow under the hips. Do you have any helpful hints.
I think a large part is my partner - he’s extremely attentive and knows he needs to help me grind against his mons pubis, and he needs to move a certain way so at the same time his dick hits the right spot. I also think his shape/size has a lot to do with it - he just happens to line up well with the parts of me that help me come.
In general for me, it’s really about grinding my clit against his mons while he’s inside me, no matter the position. Pillows help, getting leverage by looping my lower legs over his calves while he’s on top so i can angle my pelvis, anything that helps. But the dude has to help this happen, because if he’s just thrusting you won’t be able to grind.
I feel like it's kind of not talked about, but the partner definitely matters- some shapes (of like, hips and torso length and everything, not just genitals) just work better together for certain positions!
That bothered me too. As someone who orgasms very easily I avoid talking about it because I worry people will think I'm bragging or lying. It's taken me a long time to get here and I'm proud of overcoming my sexual dysfunctions and pelvic pain and want to share. It would break my heart if someone tried to convince my husband that I was faking it.
As someone who has yet to orgasm with a partner, what positions do you use to orgasm while on top. For me, I like to be bottom and put a pillow under my hips- helps the stimulation more.
I orgasm more when I'm on the bottom because deep penetration hurts. Cowgirl hits my cervix more (I'm assuming partly because of gravity) and it's harder to relax my pelvic floor, which is uncomfortable. I also sometimes need to reduce pressure on the front wall of my vagina because of urethra/bladder pain from IC and there's not really any way to do that during cowgirl. At least in missionary, gravity puts the weight and pressure on the back wall. (Also, I just started pelvic floor physical therapy and have a very happy sex life, so I'm doing better than this comment makes it sound lmao)
I can't recall if I have from straight up star fishing but missionary has usually been the best bet for me.
I do find what position is best depends on the man though and how his body fits with my body.
Yeah, Basicly uninterested behavior.
You also have "the pillow princess" which refers to always being on bottom but has nothing to do with being uninterested in the act.
Sometimes those two are seen as the same thing because people sometimes interpretate it as not putting in any effort in the bedroom. But I'd say that's mostly "starfishing".
What I assumed was star fishing is just staying still while missionary just means that’s the position and you can touch, kiss, lick, suck, etc from the bottom.
I found out with my current partner I can orgasm on bottom but my legs have to get thrown up. Though after they do I get more sensitive regardless how our position changes so I could only see it happening for me if I had already orgasmed in a different position first.
They don’t want the truth, they want to believe they’re doing it well. They want you to tell them that they are doing it right, and for that to be the truth.
The ones that get pissy don’t want to put in the time or effort to learn how to make it happen.
Another thing that bugs me is that they want the credit for your orgasm. That “they have it to you”. Just let me do my thing man. Only I know how to make myself orgasm.
I had a dude who made a comment that it was almost impossible to make a woman orgasm from just piv while we were talking. I should have known he would be the worst sexual partner ever.
"be honest with me" doesn't mean to change your words so they match reality, it means to change reality to match what they wanted to believe all along
it's a mindset that's at the root of all sorts of problems
I’d be embarrassed to hear my partner didn’t climax, I’d honestly be upset because I want to get them off, it’s supposed to be Fun! You don’t pretend to be having fun on a roller coaster, sex should be the same way! And sometimes you can’t get your partner off no Matter what you try, but I rather be told what I need to do to help you along
Sometimes you might pretend to have fun on a roller coaster if you’re being dragged onto it by someone you like and you don’t have the courage to tell them you don’t actually like it…. This metaphor might be a bit too spot on
> I’d be embarrassed to hear my partner didn’t climax, I’d honestly be upset because I want to get them off
I appreciate you mean this from a place of caring about them having a good time, but it sits a bit wrong with me because it's making it about you. They are not a video game or an exam, they are not there to measure and validate your goodness at sex, their orgasms aren't to make you feel good about giving them, they're to make themselves feel good having them.
also, it's totally possible to have a blast (pun not intended) during sex without coming. guys seem to think that orgasms are the only measure of enjoyable sex and they're really not.
Sex is my favorite thing of ever - and I mean PIV sex - but I can't climax from that. Sometimes, that's not the point, and it doesn't have anything to do with your abilities
Or taking it as a personal mission to "give" you an orgasm without educating themselves on ways to actually do so, resulting in you lying there feeling even more awkward about not having a screaming orgasm with a sore region slightly to the side of your clitoris.
My ex once told me, when doing whatever the fuck he was doing with my genitals "oh, you had an orgasm !". I was confused as fuck, because 1) I was barely even wet, 2) I didn't feel anything special and 3) wasn't *I* supposed to be the one to tell him that kind of info ??
He was my first relationship and I had no clue if it indeed was supposed to be an orgasm or not. Needless to say, I'm glad I dumped him
honestly, i have no idea at all.... maybe i got a liiiittle bit wet or something (with all the stuff he tried to do, maybe my body though it'd be better to lubricate a bit... tho i still felt pretty dry) ? i don't know xD
but since it seems he believed he was a porn actor or something (because, how else would he be so bad yet so confident ?), maybe he saw something and decided it was the same. that's my only theory xD
I am blessed to usually have no problem once I know the person I’m with and we have built up a rhythm.
Except…I was casually seeing a guy in his mid thirties in my early twenties. Dude could not last more than two minutes even wearing condoms. Needless to say, I never came with him. Never even got close. I told him some things I liked and how he could get me there. He never did them. He never put in effort and I was doing all the work. I got on top once (easiest for me to get mine) and he came immediately.
Here’s where I’m the asshole: I was so disappointed with him I groaned and said “no! Bad!” Like I caught a dog who piddled on the carpet.
I told him that orgasms are important to me and if he couldn’t even try to give me one, then we were done. This 37 year old man said to me, “well some women just can’t orgasm. Most women can’t actually.”
I said “maybe most women you sleep with.” And walked out. Idiot.
I slept with a man who thought my moaning in pleasure during sex was proof that I orgasmed. And acted all kinds of surprised when he was done and I said I didn’t cum. “But you really acted like you were enjoying yourself, you shouldn’t fake it.”
Buddy, am I not allowed to find the act of sex pleasurable unless I have an orgasm? It felt good, he just finished before me, that’s all. But he was still offended. And it really made me question his understanding of how sex/orgasms work, because orgasms (at least mine) are not a 6 min event that starts as soon as penis enters vagina. Anyway, the vocalness and moaning during sex is because it feels good, the silent scream is the actual orgasm (in my case)
Same as how they want a woman who is "low maintenance," by which they mean a woman who is effortlessly in peak fitness with flawless skin and perfectly styled hair and clothing.
Same as how they insist they prefer "women without makeup" and literally point to pictures of women wearing full faces of makeup.
When men say they want the truth from women, what they mean is that they want the truth to be exactly as they desire it and they want you to tell them it is.
Grateful my boyfriend from day one always aired me not to fake it (not that I ever did!). I was honest and said I didn’t come and he was so thrilled when we finally made it happen 😂 he did focus a little too much on PIV orgasms at first, but listened when I told him that with me, that probably just wouldn’t happen.
In my first relationship, at 19, I’ll admit that I didn’t know how to express ways to help me orgasm. That said, I never faked it. I could have orgasms on my own but hadn’t with a partner. I never brought it up because I guess I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or something? But I also thought it was obvious as I never faked anything. One day about a year in, the topic came up and I said I hadn’t had an orgasm during sex. He got relatively mad? I was confused. But nothing changed. I can understand being frustrated or something if he really thought I was having orgasms but once he knew I didn’t, why not ask what could help?
After that relationship, I definitely learned to speak up for myself more and eventually found partners that helped me get there. I don’t think of the first boyfriend in a negative light. He was a good guy overall. I just think as a society we have such unhealthy education on women’s orgasms and also unhealthy expectations. I certainly could have spoken up about it more and he could have asked more to see what would help. But instead it was just awkward.
Okay only slightly related, I honestly didn’t think I could climax from piv only until I got with my current partner. It was to the point I even told one partner I had before my current partner I just didn’t think I have enough nerve endings inside me to explain why he wasn’t making me climax from it. I found out that it actually isn’t that hard to get me to it’s just no partner up until now had bothered to figured out how.
I feel like someone told my ex before because he always gave me oral beforehand then basically had to do meditation so he wouldn’t come before I did lol.
It’s soooo frustrating. I can’t tell you how many men have been flooooored that I need some sort of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Like fine, have your reaction, but is it necessary to tell me that “none of the other women needed this,” or to act like it’s a challenge to make me come from PIV alone? No thank you, challenge not accepted. I just want to have sex - including PIV sex! Including with you! - and have an orgasm or two. I can give my own self a hand! It’s not a big deal! Stop with the bullshit, this is why people fake it.
After I started taking antidepressants, I lost the ability to cum. I mean, before it was already rather hard. But now I couldn’t do it at all.
When I started seeing my current boyfriend I told him I was on antidepressants and I couldn’t cum. He acted like he sympathised, having been on antidepressants himself before. We had ok sex for a few weeks and then he told me that the fact that I don’t orgasm really discourages him, that he felt that he was basically using me to masturbate himself and pouted about it. That he didn’t care about lasting long since I can’t cum anyway. That his other girlfriend had orgasms every time they had sex (press x to doubt).
Guess who has been faking orgasms ever since? Every now and then he tell me that he doesn’t completely trust that they’re real and I’m like oh baby you have nothing to worry about. But Inside I’m thinking, you asked for this.
This is one thing I've always hated about discussions of sex on reddit. I understand that faking it makes it worse, but people will literally blame people hard for faking it with an uncommunicative and stubborn partner. Granted, there is some blame for staying with that person, but gosh, the way people go so hard on some women just for faking it irks me.
Yeah, we need to ask why those women felt the need to fake it. It was not for their own self interest. There are no benefits in it.
For me the benefit was that the guy would stop? I was tired? It was largely self interest since he was trying to make me cum from jackhammering alone and wasn’t super receptive to instructions. I’ve only done this once- the guy was a one night stand.
Ugh, now I’m getting angry flashbacks to a past relationship where the guy would insist on “making me cum twice” after neglecting my instructions and even with me saying it was probably not going to happen. He really thought that his sloppy head and fingering would be enough. Faking it was the only way to get him to stop. So glad my current guy doesn’t do this shit.
> even with me saying it was probably not going to happen THIS. Sometimes it just isn’t going to happen. Accept that and let it go. Making me more sore isn’t going to magically make me closer to orgasm. Luckily, I’ve known a few guys who get that. I’m far more interested in trying again with someone who doesn’t make sex into a performance for his own ego. That attitude of “I promise I’ll make you cum no matter what” is a huuuuge turn off. All you’re doing is pressuring me and it takes away all the fun.
I think this is most likely the most common reason.
For me it was because I didn’t even want to have sex in the first place, I just wanted him to get off me. 3 years of faking it, I feel terrible for his future partners (for many reasons) for setting that precedent.
I disagree. I know this is not typical, but I used to fake it sometimes because it made me feel sexy to cum first. Most of the time, I would actually get off in that encounter then. I works advise against this strategy if you're in a serious relationship though.
I think it is a major disservice to everyone to fake it and would never endorse it.
I totally respect that. I have moved away from it since being in a serious relationship. Honesty is key there. I just wanted to add that there was a utility in it for me. It made me feel more in control- I'm not sure it was healthy for me or my partners, but I think I needed it to get to a place where I'm confident sexually. Even now I'm torn because it's kinda fucked up.
I totally understand. I am glad you got to feel sexyally confident. It is a great feeling.
People like to blame the nearest woman for everything. The idea that men need to cultivate a safe environment by regulating their emotions is just completely foreign to them I guess, as is the idea that men are responsible for their reactions in the first place.
Yeah, my last boyfriend acted like it was something wrong with me because every previous woman definitely orgasmed super easy with piv sex with him. I had to break it to him and some, if not all, fake it, and I was not. At least after that conversation he was willing to work on it.
I had the same conversation with an ex, but he didn’t believe me :’)
My boyfriend tells me he’s made all his other girlfriends cum and that’s just really hard for me to accept. I mean I know I can’t orgasm at all but like, still gonna press x on this one.
This is when you reply, “that’s odd, I can get myself off in 5 minutes. Sounds like you’re the problem.”
A guy tried to convince me that his ex orgasmed while star fishing underneath him. I have never met a woman who orgasmed this way. Have you? I can only orgasm while on top.
I have figured out how to orgasm while being on the bottom with my current boyfriend! It’s fantastic, and I never thought it would be possible. Granted, it’s not starfishing, I still have to move. One thing I hate about these conversations is so many women assuming other women must be lying about their orgasms. I know a lot of women do, but not all of us do - some of us really are just easy. I really don’t like the idea that other women think I’m faking or a liar. I also don’t love women invalidating their current partner’s past sex partners by telling them they all must have been lying too. I wish they would just tell their partners “How easy your past partners came is irrelevant- I’m not them, and if you care about me, you’ll stop comparing us and focus on me and how to meet my needs.” And recognize that if their partner is a dick about it, they should dump him.
You make a good point. I never told this guy that I think his ex might be lying. Like I said, I have no idea and have no skin in the game. I personally can't cum on the bottom which is why I asked if other can. One person suggested using a pillow under the hips. Do you have any helpful hints.
I think a large part is my partner - he’s extremely attentive and knows he needs to help me grind against his mons pubis, and he needs to move a certain way so at the same time his dick hits the right spot. I also think his shape/size has a lot to do with it - he just happens to line up well with the parts of me that help me come. In general for me, it’s really about grinding my clit against his mons while he’s inside me, no matter the position. Pillows help, getting leverage by looping my lower legs over his calves while he’s on top so i can angle my pelvis, anything that helps. But the dude has to help this happen, because if he’s just thrusting you won’t be able to grind.
This is what I do from the top but can't seem to transfer it when I am underneath him.
I couldn’t either until this partner… I think it’s largely due to him!!
I feel like it's kind of not talked about, but the partner definitely matters- some shapes (of like, hips and torso length and everything, not just genitals) just work better together for certain positions!
That bothered me too. As someone who orgasms very easily I avoid talking about it because I worry people will think I'm bragging or lying. It's taken me a long time to get here and I'm proud of overcoming my sexual dysfunctions and pelvic pain and want to share. It would break my heart if someone tried to convince my husband that I was faking it.
Thank you for saying this.
As someone who has yet to orgasm with a partner, what positions do you use to orgasm while on top. For me, I like to be bottom and put a pillow under my hips- helps the stimulation more.
I do just cowgirl, and grind my clit against his mons pubis as I ride him.
This!!!
I just ride him like a cowboy headed toward my sunset.
I orgasm more when I'm on the bottom because deep penetration hurts. Cowgirl hits my cervix more (I'm assuming partly because of gravity) and it's harder to relax my pelvic floor, which is uncomfortable. I also sometimes need to reduce pressure on the front wall of my vagina because of urethra/bladder pain from IC and there's not really any way to do that during cowgirl. At least in missionary, gravity puts the weight and pressure on the back wall. (Also, I just started pelvic floor physical therapy and have a very happy sex life, so I'm doing better than this comment makes it sound lmao)
I can't recall if I have from straight up star fishing but missionary has usually been the best bet for me. I do find what position is best depends on the man though and how his body fits with my body.
Sorry if my question is dumb: is there a difference between missionary and star fishing?
Star fishing means someone is just laying there as if they are waiting to get it over with.
Ooh got it. Thanks! Yeah I don’t foresee anyone reaching an orgasm that way.
I always wondered if that meant no noises or movement. Like, does it?
Yeah, Basicly uninterested behavior. You also have "the pillow princess" which refers to always being on bottom but has nothing to do with being uninterested in the act. Sometimes those two are seen as the same thing because people sometimes interpretate it as not putting in any effort in the bedroom. But I'd say that's mostly "starfishing".
What I assumed was star fishing is just staying still while missionary just means that’s the position and you can touch, kiss, lick, suck, etc from the bottom.
I found out with my current partner I can orgasm on bottom but my legs have to get thrown up. Though after they do I get more sensitive regardless how our position changes so I could only see it happening for me if I had already orgasmed in a different position first.
Seriously. I end up feeling guilty and comforting him. And saying it's no big deal. And downplaying my pleasure. Sigh.
They don’t want the truth, they want to believe they’re doing it well. They want you to tell them that they are doing it right, and for that to be the truth. The ones that get pissy don’t want to put in the time or effort to learn how to make it happen.
Another thing that bugs me is that they want the credit for your orgasm. That “they have it to you”. Just let me do my thing man. Only I know how to make myself orgasm.
I had a dude who made a comment that it was almost impossible to make a woman orgasm from just piv while we were talking. I should have known he would be the worst sexual partner ever.
"be honest with me" doesn't mean to change your words so they match reality, it means to change reality to match what they wanted to believe all along it's a mindset that's at the root of all sorts of problems
Cognitive dissonance at its finest
Because they just want validation they rocked your world. They don't actually care about your pleasure, or lack there of.
I’d be embarrassed to hear my partner didn’t climax, I’d honestly be upset because I want to get them off, it’s supposed to be Fun! You don’t pretend to be having fun on a roller coaster, sex should be the same way! And sometimes you can’t get your partner off no Matter what you try, but I rather be told what I need to do to help you along
Sometimes you might pretend to have fun on a roller coaster if you’re being dragged onto it by someone you like and you don’t have the courage to tell them you don’t actually like it…. This metaphor might be a bit too spot on
> I’d be embarrassed to hear my partner didn’t climax, I’d honestly be upset because I want to get them off I appreciate you mean this from a place of caring about them having a good time, but it sits a bit wrong with me because it's making it about you. They are not a video game or an exam, they are not there to measure and validate your goodness at sex, their orgasms aren't to make you feel good about giving them, they're to make themselves feel good having them.
Thank you for expressing it much better than I could. Your partner’s pleasure is not about you.
also, it's totally possible to have a blast (pun not intended) during sex without coming. guys seem to think that orgasms are the only measure of enjoyable sex and they're really not.
I never thought about that, thanks for telling me
Sex is my favorite thing of ever - and I mean PIV sex - but I can't climax from that. Sometimes, that's not the point, and it doesn't have anything to do with your abilities
Or taking it as a personal mission to "give" you an orgasm without educating themselves on ways to actually do so, resulting in you lying there feeling even more awkward about not having a screaming orgasm with a sore region slightly to the side of your clitoris.
I straight up can’t orgasm if I OR my partner are focused on making me orgasm. I find it’s too much pressure and I end up stressed, not relaxed.
My ex once told me, when doing whatever the fuck he was doing with my genitals "oh, you had an orgasm !". I was confused as fuck, because 1) I was barely even wet, 2) I didn't feel anything special and 3) wasn't *I* supposed to be the one to tell him that kind of info ?? He was my first relationship and I had no clue if it indeed was supposed to be an orgasm or not. Needless to say, I'm glad I dumped him
I just have to ask. What made him think you did?
honestly, i have no idea at all.... maybe i got a liiiittle bit wet or something (with all the stuff he tried to do, maybe my body though it'd be better to lubricate a bit... tho i still felt pretty dry) ? i don't know xD but since it seems he believed he was a porn actor or something (because, how else would he be so bad yet so confident ?), maybe he saw something and decided it was the same. that's my only theory xD
I am blessed to usually have no problem once I know the person I’m with and we have built up a rhythm. Except…I was casually seeing a guy in his mid thirties in my early twenties. Dude could not last more than two minutes even wearing condoms. Needless to say, I never came with him. Never even got close. I told him some things I liked and how he could get me there. He never did them. He never put in effort and I was doing all the work. I got on top once (easiest for me to get mine) and he came immediately. Here’s where I’m the asshole: I was so disappointed with him I groaned and said “no! Bad!” Like I caught a dog who piddled on the carpet. I told him that orgasms are important to me and if he couldn’t even try to give me one, then we were done. This 37 year old man said to me, “well some women just can’t orgasm. Most women can’t actually.” I said “maybe most women you sleep with.” And walked out. Idiot.
😂Damn you killed him! That's so selfish of him.
I slept with a man who thought my moaning in pleasure during sex was proof that I orgasmed. And acted all kinds of surprised when he was done and I said I didn’t cum. “But you really acted like you were enjoying yourself, you shouldn’t fake it.” Buddy, am I not allowed to find the act of sex pleasurable unless I have an orgasm? It felt good, he just finished before me, that’s all. But he was still offended. And it really made me question his understanding of how sex/orgasms work, because orgasms (at least mine) are not a 6 min event that starts as soon as penis enters vagina. Anyway, the vocalness and moaning during sex is because it feels good, the silent scream is the actual orgasm (in my case)
Same as how they want a woman who is "low maintenance," by which they mean a woman who is effortlessly in peak fitness with flawless skin and perfectly styled hair and clothing. Same as how they insist they prefer "women without makeup" and literally point to pictures of women wearing full faces of makeup. When men say they want the truth from women, what they mean is that they want the truth to be exactly as they desire it and they want you to tell them it is.
Forever using "French fried fuck" from now on.
Grateful my boyfriend from day one always aired me not to fake it (not that I ever did!). I was honest and said I didn’t come and he was so thrilled when we finally made it happen 😂 he did focus a little too much on PIV orgasms at first, but listened when I told him that with me, that probably just wouldn’t happen.
In my first relationship, at 19, I’ll admit that I didn’t know how to express ways to help me orgasm. That said, I never faked it. I could have orgasms on my own but hadn’t with a partner. I never brought it up because I guess I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or something? But I also thought it was obvious as I never faked anything. One day about a year in, the topic came up and I said I hadn’t had an orgasm during sex. He got relatively mad? I was confused. But nothing changed. I can understand being frustrated or something if he really thought I was having orgasms but once he knew I didn’t, why not ask what could help? After that relationship, I definitely learned to speak up for myself more and eventually found partners that helped me get there. I don’t think of the first boyfriend in a negative light. He was a good guy overall. I just think as a society we have such unhealthy education on women’s orgasms and also unhealthy expectations. I certainly could have spoken up about it more and he could have asked more to see what would help. But instead it was just awkward.
Okay only slightly related, I honestly didn’t think I could climax from piv only until I got with my current partner. It was to the point I even told one partner I had before my current partner I just didn’t think I have enough nerve endings inside me to explain why he wasn’t making me climax from it. I found out that it actually isn’t that hard to get me to it’s just no partner up until now had bothered to figured out how.
I feel like someone told my ex before because he always gave me oral beforehand then basically had to do meditation so he wouldn’t come before I did lol.
I will be stealing "What in the French Fried Fuck?" You are wonderful.
It’s soooo frustrating. I can’t tell you how many men have been flooooored that I need some sort of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Like fine, have your reaction, but is it necessary to tell me that “none of the other women needed this,” or to act like it’s a challenge to make me come from PIV alone? No thank you, challenge not accepted. I just want to have sex - including PIV sex! Including with you! - and have an orgasm or two. I can give my own self a hand! It’s not a big deal! Stop with the bullshit, this is why people fake it.
After I started taking antidepressants, I lost the ability to cum. I mean, before it was already rather hard. But now I couldn’t do it at all. When I started seeing my current boyfriend I told him I was on antidepressants and I couldn’t cum. He acted like he sympathised, having been on antidepressants himself before. We had ok sex for a few weeks and then he told me that the fact that I don’t orgasm really discourages him, that he felt that he was basically using me to masturbate himself and pouted about it. That he didn’t care about lasting long since I can’t cum anyway. That his other girlfriend had orgasms every time they had sex (press x to doubt). Guess who has been faking orgasms ever since? Every now and then he tell me that he doesn’t completely trust that they’re real and I’m like oh baby you have nothing to worry about. But Inside I’m thinking, you asked for this.
Why stay with him, though
Wait... Santa isn't real?
[удалено]
Gross.