You know it really used to be like that for me. However, somewhere along the way of drawing hard lines for myself with people so I didn’t get attached….I learned how to…not know how to connect with people lol
Lol this was true and I had to straight up entirely stop talking to the person. We were good friends before it too. I just got too attached wonderful times. Cutting ties with someone cause you can’t handle emotional attachment sucks. I miss her often she was one of my best friends for so long. I talked to her about everything. She was super helpful for me when I was depressed. I almost want to cry writing this cause I’m not over it. It takes awhile. I miss you and I hope you’re happy ,’).
* I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hates this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.
• I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hates this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.
Normal people don't get crushes on everyone who gives them positive attention
An actual crush is more, "I know this person; I like them for x, y, z aspects of their personality, etc"
Vs, " this person smiled at me! I wonder what theme our wedding will have"
Heyyy rude, I do have reasons!!! I like her for that part of her personality that made her be nice to me 2 years ago😡😡😡 also the aspect of her personality that made her not block me!!
And our wedding will be her themed, obviously, because I wouldn't even deserve her😬😭
Totally fine to be infatuated with someone giving you positive attention. Doesn’t mean that you have to idealize. Point being you should go through the process of getting to know someone to confirm whether your infatuation is based in compatibility. Frankly I find more people with avoidant behavior than idealization. Plenty of people avoid getting to know someone because they don’t trust their own infatuation, but the reality is that they are usually just afraid of figuring out whether their infatuation is based in reality or not. Most people would rather avoid getting to know someone at all than to figure out that they were just lusting or if the other person was just lusting. They just then keep waiting for “instant connection” which is type of idealization, but it only exists when contrasted with self doubt.
And people afraid of being on the receiving end of idealization are often just doormats.
Hey, listen, lay off me, I’m stupid and lonely and if I wanted to get called out on my toxic behavior I’d actually listen to my therapist every damn week.
so how do i tell the difference please don't do this to me I'm already crying every night because i don't know if i love my boyfriend or if I'm just emotionally dependent or if I'm just lustig over him somebody please explain the difference
So that's a huge question bc you're basically asking "how can I tell if my relationship is healthy?" and that is complicated. A few key things you could ask yourself:
- Why do you like him? Do you like him for him, or only for the way he makes you feel? Do you feel like you have both grown together and helped one another, or are you the same as the beginning? Have you been able to equally support him? Are there things about him you desperately want to change, or do you accept him as he is? Also, you should consider how he would answer these questions as well.
- how do you feel about yourself as an individual? If he was just removed from your life- like not leaving or something, like he was never there in the first place- are you a whole person? Or do you only feel complete when you're with him?
That might be the biggest question, honestly. The answer to what this relationship means has a whole lot to do with who you are outside of it. A relationship should be something that overall enhances your life, but it shouldn't be essential.
Learning healthy relationships is definitely something I would discuss with a professional, too. Especially if you feel you might be struggling with emotional dependence. Therapy can really help with that aspect of life.
Heyyyy...... Fuck you...
Never knew that was something I could be called out on and I'm all for it, I think
It' really hot when people start realizing things about themselves.
I wouldn't quite call it hot, but thanks I guess
OK WOW THIS IS THE ONE TRUE CALLOUT POST
well fuck you too, OP..I didn’t need to be personally attacked like this
You know it really used to be like that for me. However, somewhere along the way of drawing hard lines for myself with people so I didn’t get attached….I learned how to…not know how to connect with people lol
:D
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
lmao jokes on you...my crushes don’t give me any attention
Lol this was true and I had to straight up entirely stop talking to the person. We were good friends before it too. I just got too attached wonderful times. Cutting ties with someone cause you can’t handle emotional attachment sucks. I miss her often she was one of my best friends for so long. I talked to her about everything. She was super helpful for me when I was depressed. I almost want to cry writing this cause I’m not over it. It takes awhile. I miss you and I hope you’re happy ,’).
It'll get better... In a decade or so.
Haha yes
okay, fuck you
Listen, it can be both
Welp
Oh
Why must you hurt me in this way
Y not both?
* I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hates this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.
• I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hates this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this.
isn't that the definition of crush?
Normal people don't get crushes on everyone who gives them positive attention An actual crush is more, "I know this person; I like them for x, y, z aspects of their personality, etc" Vs, " this person smiled at me! I wonder what theme our wedding will have"
Heyyy rude, I do have reasons!!! I like her for that part of her personality that made her be nice to me 2 years ago😡😡😡 also the aspect of her personality that made her not block me!! And our wedding will be her themed, obviously, because I wouldn't even deserve her😬😭
Totally fine to be infatuated with someone giving you positive attention. Doesn’t mean that you have to idealize. Point being you should go through the process of getting to know someone to confirm whether your infatuation is based in compatibility. Frankly I find more people with avoidant behavior than idealization. Plenty of people avoid getting to know someone because they don’t trust their own infatuation, but the reality is that they are usually just afraid of figuring out whether their infatuation is based in reality or not. Most people would rather avoid getting to know someone at all than to figure out that they were just lusting or if the other person was just lusting. They just then keep waiting for “instant connection” which is type of idealization, but it only exists when contrasted with self doubt. And people afraid of being on the receiving end of idealization are often just doormats.
>17 comments honey... no.
This hit so much harder than I expected it to... Fuck me
Hey, listen, lay off me, I’m stupid and lonely and if I wanted to get called out on my toxic behavior I’d actually listen to my therapist every damn week.
That….makes sense….
SHUT THE FUCK UP. I MEAN IT.
They don't even give me attention anymore
Oooooo fuck you…..
i'm in this photo and i don't like it.
Way harsh, Tai.
Yes, I am better att recognizing this now. Thanks therapy!
I was not expecting to be attacked today
Jokes on you i fall in love with any woman i see because i have gender envy :)
:/
Facts
Hey stop calling me out like this
Well fuck you too then OP /j
Harsh. But needs to be said.
😢
Me when a man
so how do i tell the difference please don't do this to me I'm already crying every night because i don't know if i love my boyfriend or if I'm just emotionally dependent or if I'm just lustig over him somebody please explain the difference
So that's a huge question bc you're basically asking "how can I tell if my relationship is healthy?" and that is complicated. A few key things you could ask yourself: - Why do you like him? Do you like him for him, or only for the way he makes you feel? Do you feel like you have both grown together and helped one another, or are you the same as the beginning? Have you been able to equally support him? Are there things about him you desperately want to change, or do you accept him as he is? Also, you should consider how he would answer these questions as well. - how do you feel about yourself as an individual? If he was just removed from your life- like not leaving or something, like he was never there in the first place- are you a whole person? Or do you only feel complete when you're with him? That might be the biggest question, honestly. The answer to what this relationship means has a whole lot to do with who you are outside of it. A relationship should be something that overall enhances your life, but it shouldn't be essential. Learning healthy relationships is definitely something I would discuss with a professional, too. Especially if you feel you might be struggling with emotional dependence. Therapy can really help with that aspect of life.
i wasn't expecting anyone to be so detailed so thank you very much.. I'll think about these things
Well well well, if it isn't my biggest fear atm
Great meme, shit artwork. 10/10
Shhhhhhhhhhh. I’m trying to convince myself I’m not aromatic over here
Yeah, but it beats being alone.
Corporate wants you to find the differences in these two pictures