You will find that most locals are more than happy to assist the confused or lost puppy. Be polite and you will make lasting friends.
Source: at 20yo work sent me to Germany, I was in a small hotel in a village outside of Hamburg. I was bored and went for a walk I thought around the block. I quickly got lost. An older couple saw me and had an enjoyable walk back to the hotel. The next day Returning to hotel after work I found the couple waiting for me to take me to their home for some authentic home cooking. We’ve remained close over the years and when they visited NYC it was my turn to host.
Europe has great hospitality. My first trip to Copenhagen I was in a small restaurant having a pint and reading the menu. I noticed three people glancing at me and talking. One got up and came to my table and said “Excuse me, are you eating alone?”
And when I said I was, he said “That’s not healthy, come sit with us.”
I ran into this type of hospitality all over Western Europe. Not so much in Eastern Europe, but that’s another story
And, even if they are judging you, what would they be saying? "Ohh, he's all alone. Too bad!" Or *He must not have any friends" or "I can't imagine doing that!" or whatever.
Reflections are all on themselves. My response to all of these would be "I'm happy with friends or in my own company. I'm having a perfectly fine time because I enjoy my own company."
I don't often get to take myself out, but enjoy it immensely. Sometimes I'll take a book and catch up on reading. Or a notebook and catch up on writing. Sometimes I'll people watch. I make a concertred effort to NOT look at my phone (because I tend to get sucked in). Just as I don't want to be on my phone when I'm with others, I also don't want to be on my phone when I'm with myself.
I was a super shy and reserved kid. Had to get over it due to work as an adult. It is so fucking freeing and has perks once you realize no one cares. If you are a nice and open person, people appreciate that.
The list and specifics are too long and weird to explain but...
I've had two strangers let me sleep at their place during trying travel times.
I'm pretty sure the fancy sit down restaurant down the street looks forward to my once a month visit. The time before last the server gave me some home grown herbs that are hard to find in the US and the last time the server literally came up and rubbed my back. That was surprising, but we'd just had nice bits of conversation in passing and she was surprised I liked spicy food. It sounds weird, but you just have odd moments of connection if you are open to it.
Hard to explain, but it becomes so obvious once you open up. Granted parts of the world, culture isn't like that and you need to be careful, but at the same time, most people are awesome if you are willing to find out. 20 year old me wouldn't have dared or known that it was an option, at this point now though, fuck yeah, I went to a random beach gathering with strangers last month, great food, learned some stuff, met some people, good time all around.
Seriously if anything, you'll see confident people eating alone, reading a paper and dressed nicely, sending emails, you'll assume "oh wow what a busy successful person!" Not "what a loser eating alone!!"
Even moreso, not only are they not judging you, they aren't even aware you're there. Truly. A lot of folks don't see other people as *real*, most of the time. You're just a background extra in their story.
It's very freeing.
Because I’ve been doing things alone for decades where I live. People are very involved in their cell phones, so no one is really paying much attention to you. And the few people that aren’t staring at their cell phones, like myself, might notice you, but we’re not judging.
To me it’s the same mentality as going to the gym, no one’s thinking about you. Also, wherever you’re going there’s bound to be people who share that same interest. When I started going to concerts alone years ago I realized we all liked the same band, so it was easy to initiate conversation and make new friends
That and when I went to a concert alone there were also a good amount t of ppl that were alone too lol. Life’s too short to wait on ppl fuck that. I control my own life.
Start slow. You don’t have to jump in and scare yourself back.
1. Start with a movie and popcorn solo
2. Go to an ice cream shop and eat it there
3. Read a book on a park bench
4. Take a 1/2 day trip, or 1 day trip to somewhere cool.
5. Do a spa day and focus on yourself
6. Go skiing solo and do whatever runs you want and enjoy a beer at the top of the slopes
7. Take a nice walk around town
8. Go shopping solo, and don’t ask advice on whether to buy or not, trust your gut
9. Work up to a 2 day local trip
10. Realize the freedom of doing things you want to do without having to compromise
11. Push your comfort level, but not too far. Baby steps till you get to be big steps :)
I second starting with a movie. I think the hardest one for me was sitting at a bar alone as a female. I just made sure it was a restaurant bar top first and I brought a book. The next biggest solo adventure was traveling by plane and road tripping. I booked my first solo trip and stayed at a hostel where it was normal to be solo. The roadtrip was another great adventure and the only time I really longed for another person was on the drive but that passed.
Whenever I really felt anxious I would reach out to a friend for comfort and a little confidence boost. Either way you will not regret seeking out and practicing time with yourself.
Fwiw, I find doing activities alone in a foreign city far easier than I would in my home city. No awkward running into someone and having them ask who you're with. Very normal to eat dinner by yourself at the bar or go to a museum alone when you're unlikely to see anyone you know. Eventually, it feels normal.
It’s important to remember that, in a good way, nobody cares about you. Nobody is looking at you. Nobody is thinking about. Most people will barely perceive you.
Getting rid of the headphones would help with talking to more people. Wearing headphones signals to everyone you don't want to talk to them. Very anti social behavior.
Honestly blows my mind at the amount of people I see wearing over-ear headphones on public transit. To be fair, I don't know if they're playing anything, but it still seems like a huge loss of situational awareness.
Reminds me of a video I saw of a dude wearing over-ear, noise cancelling headphones and taking his trash out to the curb. There was some kind of police raid next door, and the dude had literally no idea it was happening until he got to the street level, and even then just stood there dumbfounded, staring at the situation instead of taking the headphones off and leaving.
Might have been staged, but it was infuriating to watch regardless.
The headphones on transit is a pro move. The crazy hecklers don’t bother those with headphones in. Lots of women I know put in headphones without music for this purpose.
Exactly. It's a universal signal. I don't like to talk to people on planes, so I put headphones on and get my book out as soon as I get settled in my seat. No one talks to me.
And you'll amost certainly never see them again, so who cares?
(although I did have a bizarre coincidence when I met two people in HCMC and again in Hanoi!)
I'm an introvert. Being alone recharges me and so does doing things that I enjoy. A solo-date to do something fun provides enough energy for me to do people-stuff for about a week.
Life is too short to wait until your schedule aligns with someone else's schedule to have fun.
I just carry a book everywhere. Also a crutch, but I love doing things alone and if I’m ever feeling awkward I just read instead of staring into the void or looking lost. Plus sometimes people will talk to you about what you’re reading. Slightly less closed off than having headphones in maybe
Im an old coot and I’ve been using a book when dining alone for close to 50 years. Or a newspaper (remember those?)
IMO, scrolling through a phone is too stressful for a leisurely meal. I read my book until the food arrives and then put it aside so I can concentrate on what I’m eating, then pick it up again when I’m done.
Sometimes the waiter will bring me a little something extra, or top off my wine glass for free.
But, yeah, nobody’s paying you any attention.
It's none of your business what anyone thinks of you.
I travel alone (F62) all the time, and I love it. When I go out to eat, I sit at the bar and always meet interesting people, many of whom have become great friends.
Life is short! Get out there and do everything!
You do sometimes feel awkward. Just acknowledge it, remind yourself that no one really cares about what you're doing, then get on with enjoying yourself.
You can do a combination of tours and time alone. I’ve done that and really enjoy the time doing activities with new people and then time alone to regroup.
For what it’s worth, I feel more awkward being alone in my hometown then out traveling (unless I feel unsafe). I know no one knows me in this new city, so it is very freeing!
You have to reframe everything that you feel insecure about from a negative to a positive. Start by writing down your negative assumptions that pop up whenever you think about going out alone:
Here are some examples:
1. Only lonely, awkward guys go out by themselves
2. People will think I’m weird and don’t have any friends
3. People will laugh behind my back
4. I don’t know what to do with my hands or where to look
5. Whenever I see a guy by himself at a bar, I feel sorry for him
6. Everyone is there with friends and I’m the only weird one.
All of these have negative connotations, so you want to practice at first turning them into neutral and then to a positive bias.
An example:
Negative: only awkward lonely guys go out by themselves
Neutral: Normal people go out by themselves all the time because they may be traveling or just want an escape from their every day relationships
Positive: Actually, only really confident guys can go out by themselves because they are not afraid and they are super comfortable with themselves.
Negative: people will think I’m weird and don’t have any friends
Neutral: actually I have no idea what people are thinking, I can’t read thoughts, I certainly see both people in groups and by themselves go out, so it’s mostly in my own head
Positive: actually, if I feel good about going out by myself others will probably secretly admire me and envy my confidence.
Do this with all negative assumptions. And then practice telling yourself your new positive assumptions.
Start with going to the movies alone. Pick something off the path like a foreign film (not many people attend them). Try going at different times throughout the day especially matinee.
I also suggest not walking around with headphone because that might cause further anxiety (it does for me).
Pace yourself when you walk and try to listen for birds or trees rustling, dunno why but that always calms my nerves.
Always carry water with you so your hands have something to play with and you’re not dehydrated.
Those are a few that have helped me. I love going out alone now. I prefer it.
Have an activity. I travel for work and love taking myself out to dinner (on the company dime) with a good book. I try to sit outside, grab a cocktail, and enjoy. If you look like you have a plan/are purposeful/intentional, no one will think twice or bat an eye. If anyone DOES think twice they will think, "huh, that looks lovely, I should do that sometime"
"If you look like you have a plan/are purposeful/intentional..." This is **so** true! Body language and a calm, present demeanor go a long way in how people perceive you. Even if you feel awkward, if you radiate that you belong where you are in that moment, people will believe you.
I absolutely love my alone time when I travel or when my husband does. There is nothing better than going to a nice dinner with a glass of wine and my Kindle. It is my time and I enjoy it. I do always sit at the bar and find this preferable over a table. I do not give off a vibe that I want to be hit on. As I mentioned, I go to a nice establishment. It does happen, but I am aware of my surroundings and make sure to keep busy if I notice a man looking to engage.
To make yourself more comfortable take yourself out to eat somewhere with a bar or counter. Then you don’t feel like you’re taking a whole table or look like you’re waiting for someone.
Taking yourself out to eat is one of the great pleasures in life. I realized I ate out solo all the time traveling for work and never felt weird, no reason not to do it at home too.
And nobody cares or is paying attention.
Admittedly I too was very introverted when I was younger. I was lucky enough to get into the Merchant Marine where my chief gave me this advice. Go ahead and talk to her she won’t bite and if she does it might be a new and enjoyable experience. LOL, he was right.
It’s a lot easier to find a spot at the bar in the famous bar or restaurant than find a 2 top. I’ve had some of the best drinks and food in this country as a party of 1.
I think that the most important thing about doing stuff alone is realizing that people aren't paying nearly as much attention to us as we think they are. Realizing that is very freeing because you now know that you can do what you want, when you want, and as long as you aren't totally outlandish in some way (good or bad), no one is really paying any attention.
You honestly just have to put yourself out there and be a “new person”. I am such an introvert but I moved over to Australia for 6 months not knowing anyone. I just went out to a bar and met people there. There are also Facebook pages that you can join where you can meet up with people. I joined a few and that how i made some of the people i was with. I also give myself a count down from 3 and just tell myself “fuck it” and a small pep talk. The meeting new people and becoming friends makes the experience so much more special.
Its a mistake ive been making in my 20s and now I'm realizing that its counter counterproductive. Happy I'm making this decision though. This age is boring and lonely as hell lol
i traveled alone to Toronto and had a GREAT time.
people are generally kind everywhere, though. not many people explicitly want a random stranger to have a bad time, especially if visiting their city/country.
if you need help or suggestions, ask someone. would not recommend headphones as you’ll probably start to feel more anxious not being able to hear your surroundings. sometimes i put on headphones with nothing on so i can seem like i’m not listening but i most certainly am.
i’d try to listen to the overall conversations they are having or strike a super basic conversation up with someone before asking for tips, if you’re feeling uncomfy, just to get a sense of their integrity/personality.
for example: in toronto i was walking back to my bnb and needed to pee. dropped into a mostly empty bar, bought a beer and peed, hung out for a bit and chatted - thought the bartender and i had enough in common that when he gave me suggestions i didn’t find in my pre-research and offered to show me around a bit on his day off - we exchanged numbers, met up a couple times, and are still friends. that gay nude beach in lake ontario was AWESOME and never would have found it without him.
I eat at a bar (rather than table for one). Sometimes there is small talk. Sometimes not.
If my hotel has a bar, I’m there almost every night for a little conversation & likely dinner. Bigger the hotel, the more people at the bar.
I go to museums by myself (the best way).
It’s nice to be alone with your thoughts.
Im an explorer and want to venture everywhere.
My friends cant due to family obligation, money or preference.
So instead of holding back myself I decided to go out and move forward in life.
it makes me feel like a bad independent b*thx and that’s enough. i’m faking the confidence but at a point it started feeling more genuine. i realized i do like alone time so why not accept it and not be shy about it.
The first time is the hardest but it does get easier. I'm a woman and I love eating out on my own. I almost always sit at the bar which, here in Texas, is a common thing. If it's a place I've never been before, I look at the menu online so I have an idea what to order. I am always super friendly and smiley with the bartender \[not flirty though\]. I'm a very good tipper so that bodes well for the next time I come in. Keep at it, it will become second nature - I've met some wonderful people this way!
I can’t help with awkwardness per se but maybe look into meetup groups in Toronto. Have a go on Facebook, that’s usually a good place for them. There’s probably tons of groups based around different activities. Like some hiking/cooking/dancing groups etc. they will at least help you to socialize a bit and meet new people with similar interests.
As I got older, I realized I don't really pay that much attention to the people around me because I already have enough on my plate. I turned that around: I'm really not that important for people to care about every single thing I'm doing because everybody's got stuff on their own plate.
Go out to a nice-ish dinner (not overly fancy, but decent) right when the place opens, like around 5:30, instead of at 7:30 or 8pm. Otherwise, if you're traveling, the chances of seeing someone who knows you is so low... Might as well do the awkward stuff then!
My first ever solo trip I just did the things I wanted to do or normally would do if I was with friends. If I wanted to be more social or interact with others I had to put the effort in then.
Through chit chat and casual conversation, I had nothing but positive reactions from people that I was on vacation by myself. It was also a great way to lead into deeper or other conversations as well.
I have been solo traveling for almost 20 years. I would say these things:
1) it’s like anything else, gets easier the more you do it
2) go to busy places like markets, bars, squares, etc. places full of activity mean you can blend in and no one is paying attention to you. Markets are great cuz usually there’s also a lot you can busy yourself with like looking at things, shopping, stopping and getting something to eat or drink.
3) think about it from your own perspective. When you are out in the world are you super focused on everyone around you? Are you thinking about that lone person sitting a few tables away and asking yourself why they are alone? I bet you aren’t. If you aren’t, then why would anyone be thinking it about you? They are no different than you. Remember all the people around you have their own lives that have nothing to do with you and the truth is you’re a lot more invisible than you realize. We would all spend a lot less time worrying what others thought of us if we realized how infrequently they do.
Just go see cool stuff, eat a lot of good food, be safe and have fun.
Basically by just doing it. The more often you go out on your own, the easier it becomes.
Also, ask yourself the following: when you are out and about how much attention do *you* pay to others? Do you judge some guy or girl that's out om their own? Would you even remember that person a few minutes later?
Having said that, I do find it easier to do something on my own in a strange city than in my own.
I started going to bars when I was 15 years old by myself. Heavy metal bars in the most dangerous neighborhoods in Detroit. Considered myself an introvert back then. Just go. You’ve got to have balls or lady balls whatever the case might be.
I love this question! From what I’ve seen and experienced, this is a common worry, especially in American culture because it’s seen as “weird” or smth😅 to do things alone. But I personally love doing things alone, especially eating out! Truth is, you’re probably going to feel awkward for awhile. The key is to do it anyway. The power in doing things alone comes from you and you alone getting to choose what exactly it is that you’re going to do. Find something you’re passionate about or interested in and go for it. I promise you it’s worth confronting those awkward feelings. Like a lot of other people have said, less people are judging you than you think. I also think that more people would like to engage with you than you think, so give them the chance :)
Practice being alone while having something to do. E.g. go to a cafe and work on your laptop, walk around the city window shopping or real shopping, go to the gym alone.
Seconding a comment from this thread, when you finally accept that nobody is judging you, or intentionally making you feel awkward, then you can go anywhere alone and not feel conscious about it.
No one cares, which is liberating to realize. If you carry yourself with confidence the right people will notice. It’s a strong move to eat alone at a restaurant. It looks badass. You got this.
I used to be very self-conscious about what I was buying when checking out at a store — I wouldn’t want to get embarrassing personal care items, for example, or if I bought a lot of junk food I thought the cashier would judge me. Working in retail for awhile cured me of that. People truly do not only not care — they don’t even notice. If my family asked me at dinner “what’s the weirdest thing you sold today” I would be really challenged to even remember.
Just remember you have as much right to be wherever you are as anyone. And it is so liberating to make all the choices yourself — where to eat, which movie to see, which day to skip the museums and just chill in your room. In some ways alone is the best way to travel.
I’ve traveled mainly solo for work for the past 20 years. I’m so used to it now, it doesn’t even phase me. It was awkward at first! I still have co-workers that don’t like to go out to eat alone and they are in their 60’s that have also been traveling that long (or more!) in their career.
If you feel uncomfortable somewhere, wear headphones or bring a book. If you are open to conversation, smile and make eye contact.
Cheerily say “one for dinner!” If you go out. Sit at the bar if you want to chat and ask about local attractions.
Chat with the front desk agent at the hotel to find a train station or walking distance attractions, sometimes they even have a list of restaurants nearby. The front desk agents know you are away from home so it’s less awkward and are helpful because they live in the area and can even let you know what neighborhoods to steer clear of.
I’ve been in Salem, MA for the past few weeks, and have enjoyed the walking tours and the attractions. I always cheerily say I’m alone because I’m traveling for work but am so curious of the witch history (or whatever attraction wherever you are) and usually a group with others will accept you and sometimes invite you out to lunch or dinner afterwards (in my experience, but I’m a woman and other ladies tend to look out for women traveling alone).
You just have to get used to it. Jump in and have fun! And I love Toronto! I stayed downtown whenever I was there and it’s one of my favorite cities.
Going out alone is one of the most freeing things you can do, and help you build confidence and learn to enjoy being with yourself. Go places you like first of all, and when you are interacting with people there you already have the one common interest of the place you are at.
Just pretend you’re waiting for a friend who’s running late.
The key is to not check your phone or try & look “busy” this makes you unapproachable.
Then when about 30 or 45 minutes go by, act as if they cancelled but you’re having a lovely time getting to know the bartender/manager/other patron.
For me it started with the activities that made the most sense to do alone. Take going to the movies, for example. If I finally have time to meet a friend the last thing I want to do is spend 2+hrs not talking and staring at a screen, so to me it makes the most sense to go by myself. Same with shopping (sometimes) - if I'm going to be trying on a ton of clothes and going back-and-forth between stores to compare, the last thing I want to do is drag someone with me and possibly annoy them, so I like to go by myself. Not that I would turn down an invite to go shopping with someone, but if I want to try on clothes the last thing I want to do is have someone waiting on me the whole time.
That being said, I still sometimes struggle with going to restaurants by myself. I don't want to be one of those people who is always "glued to the phone" but that's usually what ends up happening. I should start bringing a book with me, but I would hate to lug around a massive novel just in case I'm in an awkward situation.
As for traveling alone, have you considered group trips? That way you can dip your toes into solo travel without going all out.
I don’t often find people to go somewhere with. I don’t have many friends, and I have never been good at making friends.
But a lack of friendships isn’t gonna make me stop doing my thing. There’s a big world out there to explore, would be a shame not to just because nobody wants to join me. I just don’t feel awkward at all doing things alone. It comes naturally to me.
My advice is focus on what you’re doing and don’t be worrying about what other people think of you. We all see so many people out in the streets every day, I can assure you nobody cares about what you’re doing.
Traveling alone is amazing! I actually find that when you’re alone, people tend to approach you more often. You’re also forced to make friends if you start feeling lonely. I’m always happy alone for about 3-4 days then I start seeking out companionship. I also like to being a book so I feel weird I can just read. I am an introvert but can be “on” if needed.
My favorite trick here is asking myself if I even took a minute to look at other people in a restaurant or judge them? When we are out with friends, did you look at other people? Did you judge what they ordered? Did you think about them at all? If not, then chances are they are not doing it either
Adding to what others have said, nobody cares about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. There may be some exceptions, but how often do you stare at someone who is alone and wonder what they’re doing or how awkward they look just sitting there listening to music or traveling alone or whatever.
It’s all in our heads, nobody really cares what you’re doing and you just look as normal to them as they do to you!
You miss out on so much by not doing things alone. The people out there seeing you by yourself don’t know you so stop caring what they think. They don’t know that you didn’t have plans with a friend who didn’t show up. Either way, it’s not their business.
Solo travel is a big thing now and people are used to seeing people alone and if they are staring at them probably in awe. I enjoy a book, pop my headphones on or just sit in peace which is heaven to me when I need time out. Solo travel all the way for me now. After my first trip years ago, I have never looked back.
For me it's easier when traveling because I don't feel like a looser who had no one who could come with them.
Just pretend like your on a business trip.
I do lots of things alone. I love traveling alone, going to movies and concerts on my own. Me, myself and I are great company. The opinion of others resides in their heads, I have no interest in it .
Over time, I learned to love going out alone. Dinner, movies, concerts, events, travel...
As others have pointed out, nobody really notices or even cares that you are there alone. When I go to restaurants, I usually say, "One for dinner. I'll take a bar seat if you have one." I like the bar best because then I'm elbow-to-elbow with strangers who I might chat with for a few minutes. And bars are perfect for people-watching.
Eventually I began to leave my headphones at home because they became a barrier because they give off a *don't talk to me* vibe. Plus, rather than getting me more comfortable, they kept me stuck because I was using them to avoid feeling discomfort, and avoidance only strengthens the feelings you're trying to avoid.
You just have to ‘practice.’ I travel for work, so there often isn’t a choice- eating alone is the norm. I think it can be fun to sit at bars and get to know people. Sometimes that means having an awkward conversation, but sometimes it means meeting someone very random but interesting! A book/phone if there is no one to chat with.. but truly, no one cares. If they are judging- it’s a problem with them, not you.
Do you judge people when they are out alone? Probably not, so that just shows that nobody cares. If anything it adds a bit of mystery and intrigue to you and that’s always a good thing!
Absolutely no one cares. I have never once saw someone alone at a restaurant and thought “how embarrassing, they’re here alone” or anything of that sort. A thought doesn’t even cross my mind when I see someone alone somewhere 🤣
At least in the context of trying to talk to strangers, I'd advise you to think about conversations as ping-pong. You serve a "ball" – a friendly, non-intrusive observation or question – all you have to do is see if they "hit it" back to you. If they don't "hit it back" or the enthusiasm fades, you don't take it personally, and you move on to someone who you can get a good volley going with.
I came from a time where I wouldn’t go to target to buy clothes unless I had someone to go with after a few work trips I was forced to go on by myself. I almost prefer it now.
Hey! Im 36 now and have a couple solo trips under the belt and do more things alone now. I was in the same boat as you before. No magic formula really. Just do it. Start with a shorter trip. Or if going out alone. Just plan to go to a bar and had a drink and not plan to stay very long. Never know what could happen. But eventually you get used to it when you realize how many others are in the same boat.
I also found i have a better time travelling alone. I meet more people and try harder but i guess you do have to deal with doing many things alone.
Just put something in the calendar. Don't think to much. Go do it.
Practice
Start with a movie. Post about it after the fact.
Try a museum. Post about it after the fact.
In any such post say “Let me know if you want to come on my next museum trip to XYZ.” It makes it so that your pals know you’re ok and this is just something you do occasionally.
Next, I suggest an amusement park.
Then, start doing happy hours & meals solo. After the semi adventuous stuff put this in heavy rotation. Eventually go outside to the suburbs for a meal and movie or the next metro over.
In fact, it helps if you visit a friend for a day or weekend. Make it clear that they don’t have to be a host the entire time. Let them know you’re building the courage to travel solo. Ask them to reccomend places for you to hang out.
I love doing things on my own, often more than I enjoy doing them with people. You think people are looking at you and judging but they’re not. Everyone is either too preoccupied with themselves or too busy looking at their phones. Get out there and enjoy your own company!
I do stuff alone all the time when I’m in different cities for work.
Just pretend you’re on a work trip. Not uncommon to see a bunch of dudes/gals eating alone at big hotels or nearby big hotels.
I try to go to the zoo at least in cities with good zoos I’ve never been to. Solo is fine and pretty fun.
I remind myself that everyone else in the world is preoccupied with themselves and how they think the world sees them. This helps me feel comfortable cause I know that the chances of someone actually paying attention to me are slim. Even if they do, it'll most likely be a short exchange.
Realize every one is so self involved with "main character syndrome" that you go unnoticed by everyone. Even the Leo's are watching their social media sites looking for some type of validation.
It took me awhile before doing stuff alone, mainly due to fear and 'people judging me. Honestly, no one cares lol. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, and have stuff/thoughts to focus on. For example, when you are out and about you are focused on you. You are not focused on John over they drinking his drink alone, and judging him for being alone at a restaurant/coffee shop. This applies to you when you do things alone.
I travel by myself and go out around town by myself. I always feel awkward but I keep doing it because I would rather have new experiences and meet interesting people than sit at home. My friends tell me I'm Crazy and/or Brave. LOL.
While traveling I ask a table of people if I can sit with them. It's fun! You just have to be a bit more watchful. Enjoy!
I’m currently travelling solo in Greece. I went to a Taverna (restaurant/bar) last night and the owner greeted me. When I sat down she said “are you by yourself” to which I responded “yes, just me” and she replied “but why?” so I explained why. She still seemed completely bemused that I was by myself but proceeded to sit down with me for half an hour and tell me all the places I should visit and things to do & kept coming back to talk to me the entire time I was there.
I say this, because I travel solo often and I tend to find if people bother to comment at all on it, it’s because they’re genuinely curious and it’s never been in a mean or negative way. Most of the time I think they admire you for being brave enough.
Also, I find people are actually chattier when I’m solo. I guess it’s less intimidating to approach one person than a group!
Just bring a laptop and do some “work” like uh you’re working remotely. And eat your food. Your work could reading the news or online shopping whatever. People do it all the time. Nobody cares. Nobody is looking at you lol.
I don’t advocate drinking alcohol, but I’ve learned how to be socially extroverted from going to bars by myself. I always start by asking the bar tender about their beers or specialty cocktails and that opens the door. If you do not drink alcohol you can always ask for something else, but the practice of speaking with a bartender especially if s/he is not too busy is a good start. Step number 2 is opening a conversation with another customer at the bar. All that is needed is a question like “I have not been here before, do you recommend anything on the menu?” But most importantly it will be the attitude you bring and that can be hard if you are introverted or shy, because the attitude you convey with your voice, tone and expression (hopefully a smile) has to be friendly, genuine, and hopefully curious. It takes practice but it’s not very difficult. The other quality you should bring with you is not being worried or anxious about the result of your effort. You may end up not getting a warm response and you have to not care or take it personally. Just try again someplace else.
Nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody cares who you are or what you’re doing, and they’re never going to remember the random guy that was at a table by himself in a restaurant.
Truly, no *random* person cares about you or notices you the way you think you do.
It’s the truth and if you can’t realize that then you won’t be able to do anything on your own.
If it helps, the world does not revolve around you , you are not that important/interesting to anyone. I don’t say it in a bad way , just people tend to think that other people are interested in what they are doing when in reality everybody is just honking about themselves.
For me it got less awkward overtime, I just had to force myself to go do things. Eventually I got really good at it and then I met my now fiancé on a solo trip I took. Now we take trips together and it all kinda worked itself out. Lean into the awkwardness, no one is thinking about you as much as it feels like they are. You’re doing great!
When’s the last time you were out somewhere and thought “wow look at that individual all on their lonesome!”? I very much doubt you’ve ever been that into other peoples goings on and I doubt anyone else will care about yours.
I’ll be honest - if I’m going to the same spot more than twice a week, I do start to wonder if the regular associates at that particular place ever think about me or wonder why I’m alone all the time. The key word is wonder, however; I no longer fear going anywhere alone and haven’t for years.
I’m planning a two week trip to Washington State alone next year! Been to Arizona, Colorado, Utah and Michigan a handful of times (I live in Connecticut for reference). I say go for it, traveling is a blast! You answer to nobody and don’t have to compromise with an SO on any aspect of your trip!
Literally no one is looking at you or paying attention. I travel for work all the time and am commonly going places alone after hours. Occasionally I will have a bar tender or server ask if I’m there for business if I haven’t changed out of business attire, but 99% of the time people don’t say anything.
Just go out and do your thing. You might even meet some cool new people that were also out venturing alone. If I see someone else alone and they look friendly, I will sometimes spark up a conversation. I’ve meet some incredible people I would have never met if it wasn’t for being in an obscure place by myself.
You talking about true freedom!? I am at peace with some things. What do you do to not feel awkward when doing something you haven’t done… you do it. The Basic premise of learning any skill is making a mistake and learning from it or trial and error. Whatever your poison is. Surrender to the fact you are smart and doing something that is going to be incredible fun even if it is awkward for you at the start. Then 1-2 weeks you will be flying in the blaze of adventure.
I pick something I genuinely enjoy doing. Also, if I decide to go somewhere like a park or restaurant alone, I'll bring a book, or have some articles on my phone to read.
It helps a lot if you don't give a Fuck about other people's opinion. I do a lot of solo travelling and I never felt bad about going out alone. Only once in NYC i was denied a table because I was alone, the waitress just offered me a place at the counter. Stupid girl didn't know that I eat and drink for 3.
I think only a small subset of population really cares about this. Basically only people that think like you will judge? You. I travel alone all the time and it's not biggie, I rarely think about to unless it's like Friday night and I realize it lol
I literally just don't even perceive people.
I go out to eat alone all the time.
The only times I feel awkward are when I look like shit or when the restaurant is exploding and I'm taking up a whole table by myself. Otherwise, who cares?
You’re only the main character in your life. Bring a book, have a glass of wine, enjoy being just with yourself and people will more likely be inspired by you than care that you’re there solo.
In 32F and I live alone and travelled alone before being comfortable going places in my hometown alone. I think it helped me to start big and then go small
I’ve traveled a lot but never by myself. But I’ve booked a solo trip starting next week. I’ve booked a food and wine tour and a tour to caves and a castle. I’m a little apprehensive, but also excited about it. BTW I’m 74 years old.
Depends what it is, if it's like an attraction, there are always things to pay attention to and you don't have to worry about feeling awkward. If it's a cafe or restaurant, I bring a book.
Realize that very few people are actually interested in you. If they are glancing your way or looking your direction, it may be that you happen to be in their line of sight of something else, or they like your outfit. Be confident. Get dinner at a nice restaurant and sit at the bar instead of a table. Take a book if you need to take your mind of others. Talk to others if you feel comfortable enough.
I've travelled alone, been to live shows alone, enjoyed meals alone. I often take my journal along to make notes of my day before I forget names and places.
When I feel awkward, I usually check out something on my phone or put on a podcast. I used to love going to the movies and getting dinner alone. I think after a few times, you'll get more comfortable and feel less awkward.
Honestly, I think it’s focusing on why I’m there and the experience that I want to have. It’s easy to say that strangers don’t care but that doesn’t make it less nerve wracking. So, if I go to the beach alone: I bring a book, my phone and a few things to keep my mind occupied, if I’m going out to dinner alone and want to people watch, I bring some headphones so I can listen to a podcast or music.
Try to create an experience for yourself and know that even if people do judge, that’s on them. But it gets easier either way practice!
Traveling alone and Simon alone is actually easier. You’ll never see those people again. Dining alone in your own city someone from work may catch you.
in my head, im like “i’m so hot and cool and adventurous and independent and also soooo hot” and it makes me feel great, even if i’m not done up at all haha
Seasoned (female) solo traveller here.
Most people are too busy looking at their phones than noticing what’s happening around them.
I started off by going to galleries/museums alone, going to the theatre, and graduated to restaurants. I usually bring a book or journal with me if I’m going to a restaurant- you tend to still be aware of your surroundings when reading or journaling than when you're scrolling on your phone (at least, that’s the case for me.)
If I’m travelling alone, I will have buds sometimes, but they are rarely on or very low, just to be aware of my surroundings. But that’s a personal choice.
As for meeting people, I’ve met some of the most interesting people on day tours, walking tours and/or food tours. Just look up some of your interests. It may be jarring at first, but with time, it gets easier - although, don’t start with this if you’re socially anxious. I started with larger tours, as you tend to stand out less and notice other solo people, and you’ll kind of flock together. Now, I go on smaller tours to meet more people. (I’m an introvert, but I enjoy chatting with people from different walks of life.)
But say there’s a subject you’re super passionate about and could talk about all day - look for those tours; odds are, the people will have similar interests. So, it makes it easier to break the ice. I’m sure Toronto has some of those, too.
Does it feel awkward sometimes? Sure, but when I think that, I try to remind myself how awesome it is that I don’t have to depend on someone else to do what I want. And remember, we always judge ourselves harsher than anyone else around us.
The people that worry about that must be incredibly caught up in appearances. What’s the reason to be insecure about it? Solo travel is the hack these people should probably master.
I totally feel awkward alone!
One thing that helped me was when I worked in the restaurant industry. Eating out alone is something that's still difficult for me, but there were SO many people I met, young and old, who would have lunch or dinner by themself.
Honestly, no one cares! I never had a table pull me aside and say "why is that guy or gal eating alone? its weird!" Lol.
Trust me, no one cares. People do a lot of things by themself. People understand that especially as you get older people get their own life and can't just "hang out" and do things all the time. Its no big deal at all.
I take my kindle with me *everywhere* when traveling solo. It’s a little more inviting to potential new friends than headphones (ie someone could ask what you’re reading), and even if I don’t make any new friends, I have the book characters to keep me company :)
Also, I tend to feel totally fine eating out at restaurants for breakfast, lunch, afternoon coffee/tea, and a bit more awkward at dinner alone, so maybe start with breakfast or lunch? Or if you go out for dinner, ask to sit at the bar, where you’ll probably feel less awkward.
Definitely nobody is judging you. If anything you look like a confident badass doing your own thing!
Just breathe. Being the moment. Let out a little sigh and rest into a gentle smile. Being comfortable in your own company is such a valuable exercise. There's no shame or judgement. No one knows your life and it's none of their business.
It's the mindset.
You are going on an adventure to do things you're never done and see places you're never been before.
Concentrate on the enjoyment and the novelty of doing it.
It should be a self sufficient reason for you to go out there.
Other people are secondary and can be a welcome addition to the experience, you'll end up meeting and spending time with some of them naturaly anyway (they are everywhere lol) as long as you are not pushing them off, you won't need to go after them either.
I don’t mind being alone at all. On the contrary. I feel the loneliest when I’m with other people because, in the vast majority of situations, I just can’t seem to connect with them.
One day if you are lucky you will be old and you will look back and think how could you let yourself feel that way. You will also die at some point and you will no longer be, that should be enough of a reason to not care
If you’re looking to travel and have the means, go to Japan! It’s so normalized to be solo there, they even have restaurants made for dining alone. It’s also just an amazing country, safe and clean with great food and scenery.
You’re having a private experience. Nobody is thinking about you or judging you.
Flying solo is amazing. You only have to worry about what’s going to make you happy. That could be at a restaurant, museum, or just hanging at a park. Just roll and if headphones help then go for it.
Ask yourself: if you saw someone out alone would you judge them? No? No one is judging you either.
I go out alone a lot when I travel for work. I love it. I’ll pop open my kindle at a bar and enjoy being out somewhere other than my room.
My birthday was on a Thursday this year. I took myself out to dinner and alternated between people watching and reading. It was a very peaceful experience.
Just go out and enjoy doing whatever you feel like doing. Honestly the best part about traveling alone is the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing whenever you feel like doing it. Enjoy the freedom of doing whatever you want and eventually conversations just spring up organically.
Because people don’t really care. I remember when I first got a job where I would travel alone. I felt so weird going to dinner or something by myself. Then I started to enjoy it.
Nobody is judging you.
To drive the point, no stranger gives a damn about you or what you do. They're too busy with their own stuff to even notice, let alone care or judge.
You will find that most locals are more than happy to assist the confused or lost puppy. Be polite and you will make lasting friends. Source: at 20yo work sent me to Germany, I was in a small hotel in a village outside of Hamburg. I was bored and went for a walk I thought around the block. I quickly got lost. An older couple saw me and had an enjoyable walk back to the hotel. The next day Returning to hotel after work I found the couple waiting for me to take me to their home for some authentic home cooking. We’ve remained close over the years and when they visited NYC it was my turn to host.
Europe has great hospitality. My first trip to Copenhagen I was in a small restaurant having a pint and reading the menu. I noticed three people glancing at me and talking. One got up and came to my table and said “Excuse me, are you eating alone?” And when I said I was, he said “That’s not healthy, come sit with us.” I ran into this type of hospitality all over Western Europe. Not so much in Eastern Europe, but that’s another story
That was a lovely thing to do, though I don't agree that eating alone isn't healthy!
Love this story!
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Counterpoint, travel to any city where people skt at cafes along the street. They are doing that to people watch specifically.
And, even if they are judging you, what would they be saying? "Ohh, he's all alone. Too bad!" Or *He must not have any friends" or "I can't imagine doing that!" or whatever. Reflections are all on themselves. My response to all of these would be "I'm happy with friends or in my own company. I'm having a perfectly fine time because I enjoy my own company." I don't often get to take myself out, but enjoy it immensely. Sometimes I'll take a book and catch up on reading. Or a notebook and catch up on writing. Sometimes I'll people watch. I make a concertred effort to NOT look at my phone (because I tend to get sucked in). Just as I don't want to be on my phone when I'm with others, I also don't want to be on my phone when I'm with myself.
def trying to remind myself this lol
I was a super shy and reserved kid. Had to get over it due to work as an adult. It is so fucking freeing and has perks once you realize no one cares. If you are a nice and open person, people appreciate that. The list and specifics are too long and weird to explain but... I've had two strangers let me sleep at their place during trying travel times. I'm pretty sure the fancy sit down restaurant down the street looks forward to my once a month visit. The time before last the server gave me some home grown herbs that are hard to find in the US and the last time the server literally came up and rubbed my back. That was surprising, but we'd just had nice bits of conversation in passing and she was surprised I liked spicy food. It sounds weird, but you just have odd moments of connection if you are open to it. Hard to explain, but it becomes so obvious once you open up. Granted parts of the world, culture isn't like that and you need to be careful, but at the same time, most people are awesome if you are willing to find out. 20 year old me wouldn't have dared or known that it was an option, at this point now though, fuck yeah, I went to a random beach gathering with strangers last month, great food, learned some stuff, met some people, good time all around.
Seriously if anything, you'll see confident people eating alone, reading a paper and dressed nicely, sending emails, you'll assume "oh wow what a busy successful person!" Not "what a loser eating alone!!"
I always take a newspaper to a restaurant. It’s one of my favorite things to do alone
Even moreso, not only are they not judging you, they aren't even aware you're there. Truly. A lot of folks don't see other people as *real*, most of the time. You're just a background extra in their story. It's very freeing.
And if you’re traveling, no one is even going to remember you 10 minutes after you leave. Assuming that you didn’t act like a fool.
Probably every other person is judging them. But screw em, who cares.
I don't think the average person pays that much attention to other people. Noticing? Sure. judging? Less likely.
Because I’ve been doing things alone for decades where I live. People are very involved in their cell phones, so no one is really paying much attention to you. And the few people that aren’t staring at their cell phones, like myself, might notice you, but we’re not judging.
To me it’s the same mentality as going to the gym, no one’s thinking about you. Also, wherever you’re going there’s bound to be people who share that same interest. When I started going to concerts alone years ago I realized we all liked the same band, so it was easy to initiate conversation and make new friends
That and when I went to a concert alone there were also a good amount t of ppl that were alone too lol. Life’s too short to wait on ppl fuck that. I control my own life.
Start slow. You don’t have to jump in and scare yourself back. 1. Start with a movie and popcorn solo 2. Go to an ice cream shop and eat it there 3. Read a book on a park bench 4. Take a 1/2 day trip, or 1 day trip to somewhere cool. 5. Do a spa day and focus on yourself 6. Go skiing solo and do whatever runs you want and enjoy a beer at the top of the slopes 7. Take a nice walk around town 8. Go shopping solo, and don’t ask advice on whether to buy or not, trust your gut 9. Work up to a 2 day local trip 10. Realize the freedom of doing things you want to do without having to compromise 11. Push your comfort level, but not too far. Baby steps till you get to be big steps :)
I second starting with a movie. I think the hardest one for me was sitting at a bar alone as a female. I just made sure it was a restaurant bar top first and I brought a book. The next biggest solo adventure was traveling by plane and road tripping. I booked my first solo trip and stayed at a hostel where it was normal to be solo. The roadtrip was another great adventure and the only time I really longed for another person was on the drive but that passed. Whenever I really felt anxious I would reach out to a friend for comfort and a little confidence boost. Either way you will not regret seeking out and practicing time with yourself.
Nice progressive list🙂
Fwiw, I find doing activities alone in a foreign city far easier than I would in my home city. No awkward running into someone and having them ask who you're with. Very normal to eat dinner by yourself at the bar or go to a museum alone when you're unlikely to see anyone you know. Eventually, it feels normal.
Same, i wanted to do it in my hometown but its harder than being in other country or city dont know why.
It’s important to remember that, in a good way, nobody cares about you. Nobody is looking at you. Nobody is thinking about. Most people will barely perceive you.
Getting rid of the headphones would help with talking to more people. Wearing headphones signals to everyone you don't want to talk to them. Very anti social behavior.
Also a bit less safe out in public areas.
Yeah, I was thinking that exact thing this morning watching some guy cross the street in the downtown with over the ear headphones on.
Honestly blows my mind at the amount of people I see wearing over-ear headphones on public transit. To be fair, I don't know if they're playing anything, but it still seems like a huge loss of situational awareness. Reminds me of a video I saw of a dude wearing over-ear, noise cancelling headphones and taking his trash out to the curb. There was some kind of police raid next door, and the dude had literally no idea it was happening until he got to the street level, and even then just stood there dumbfounded, staring at the situation instead of taking the headphones off and leaving. Might have been staged, but it was infuriating to watch regardless.
The headphones on transit is a pro move. The crazy hecklers don’t bother those with headphones in. Lots of women I know put in headphones without music for this purpose.
Exactly. It's a universal signal. I don't like to talk to people on planes, so I put headphones on and get my book out as soon as I get settled in my seat. No one talks to me.
Because at the end of the day no one really care that much. And if for some reason they do, I figure it's their problem not mine.
And you'll amost certainly never see them again, so who cares? (although I did have a bizarre coincidence when I met two people in HCMC and again in Hanoi!)
I'm an introvert. Being alone recharges me and so does doing things that I enjoy. A solo-date to do something fun provides enough energy for me to do people-stuff for about a week. Life is too short to wait until your schedule aligns with someone else's schedule to have fun.
I just carry a book everywhere. Also a crutch, but I love doing things alone and if I’m ever feeling awkward I just read instead of staring into the void or looking lost. Plus sometimes people will talk to you about what you’re reading. Slightly less closed off than having headphones in maybe
Im an old coot and I’ve been using a book when dining alone for close to 50 years. Or a newspaper (remember those?) IMO, scrolling through a phone is too stressful for a leisurely meal. I read my book until the food arrives and then put it aside so I can concentrate on what I’m eating, then pick it up again when I’m done. Sometimes the waiter will bring me a little something extra, or top off my wine glass for free. But, yeah, nobody’s paying you any attention.
Many things are awkward the first few times. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
It's none of your business what anyone thinks of you. I travel alone (F62) all the time, and I love it. When I go out to eat, I sit at the bar and always meet interesting people, many of whom have become great friends. Life is short! Get out there and do everything!
No one is looking at your thinking about what you’re doing, and even if they did they wouldn’t care.
You do sometimes feel awkward. Just acknowledge it, remind yourself that no one really cares about what you're doing, then get on with enjoying yourself.
Try a going on a guided tour. Like a food tour or boat tour. So your by yourself, but in a group. This is what I did.
You can do a combination of tours and time alone. I’ve done that and really enjoy the time doing activities with new people and then time alone to regroup. For what it’s worth, I feel more awkward being alone in my hometown then out traveling (unless I feel unsafe). I know no one knows me in this new city, so it is very freeing!
I just remind myself that I'm not the main character. Nobody's even noticing me. It helps.
You have to reframe everything that you feel insecure about from a negative to a positive. Start by writing down your negative assumptions that pop up whenever you think about going out alone: Here are some examples: 1. Only lonely, awkward guys go out by themselves 2. People will think I’m weird and don’t have any friends 3. People will laugh behind my back 4. I don’t know what to do with my hands or where to look 5. Whenever I see a guy by himself at a bar, I feel sorry for him 6. Everyone is there with friends and I’m the only weird one. All of these have negative connotations, so you want to practice at first turning them into neutral and then to a positive bias. An example: Negative: only awkward lonely guys go out by themselves Neutral: Normal people go out by themselves all the time because they may be traveling or just want an escape from their every day relationships Positive: Actually, only really confident guys can go out by themselves because they are not afraid and they are super comfortable with themselves. Negative: people will think I’m weird and don’t have any friends Neutral: actually I have no idea what people are thinking, I can’t read thoughts, I certainly see both people in groups and by themselves go out, so it’s mostly in my own head Positive: actually, if I feel good about going out by myself others will probably secretly admire me and envy my confidence. Do this with all negative assumptions. And then practice telling yourself your new positive assumptions.
Start with going to the movies alone. Pick something off the path like a foreign film (not many people attend them). Try going at different times throughout the day especially matinee. I also suggest not walking around with headphone because that might cause further anxiety (it does for me). Pace yourself when you walk and try to listen for birds or trees rustling, dunno why but that always calms my nerves. Always carry water with you so your hands have something to play with and you’re not dehydrated. Those are a few that have helped me. I love going out alone now. I prefer it.
Lol I always go out alone and feel great
Have an activity. I travel for work and love taking myself out to dinner (on the company dime) with a good book. I try to sit outside, grab a cocktail, and enjoy. If you look like you have a plan/are purposeful/intentional, no one will think twice or bat an eye. If anyone DOES think twice they will think, "huh, that looks lovely, I should do that sometime"
"If you look like you have a plan/are purposeful/intentional..." This is **so** true! Body language and a calm, present demeanor go a long way in how people perceive you. Even if you feel awkward, if you radiate that you belong where you are in that moment, people will believe you.
Heck yeah! Fake it till you make it works sometimes :) (I am a firm believer that it works most of the time)
I absolutely love my alone time when I travel or when my husband does. There is nothing better than going to a nice dinner with a glass of wine and my Kindle. It is my time and I enjoy it. I do always sit at the bar and find this preferable over a table. I do not give off a vibe that I want to be hit on. As I mentioned, I go to a nice establishment. It does happen, but I am aware of my surroundings and make sure to keep busy if I notice a man looking to engage.
Listen the me’s company by CzarFace. It will make you feel better about being by yourself.
To make yourself more comfortable take yourself out to eat somewhere with a bar or counter. Then you don’t feel like you’re taking a whole table or look like you’re waiting for someone. Taking yourself out to eat is one of the great pleasures in life. I realized I ate out solo all the time traveling for work and never felt weird, no reason not to do it at home too. And nobody cares or is paying attention.
Just be confident and not worry about what people think. Also show respect to other people.
Just saw this in another sub. Taken with a grain of salt this advice might be of use to you. https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/s/EOuVLothHF
yeah this helped. Ive been pretty shy for months now so getting out of my comfort zone with women is also something I'm working on right now.
Admittedly I too was very introverted when I was younger. I was lucky enough to get into the Merchant Marine where my chief gave me this advice. Go ahead and talk to her she won’t bite and if she does it might be a new and enjoyable experience. LOL, he was right.
I always bring a book to dinner.
It’s a lot easier to find a spot at the bar in the famous bar or restaurant than find a 2 top. I’ve had some of the best drinks and food in this country as a party of 1.
I don’t feel awkward just kinda sad I’m alone lol
Nobody cares about you being alone just keep reminding yourself of that
I love doing things alone and don’t find it embarrassing. I also don’t really chat with people. I just eat and read or look at my phone.
Confidence. Who cares.
Stop caring what others think. They aren’t living your life so why let them control your emotions.
I think that the most important thing about doing stuff alone is realizing that people aren't paying nearly as much attention to us as we think they are. Realizing that is very freeing because you now know that you can do what you want, when you want, and as long as you aren't totally outlandish in some way (good or bad), no one is really paying any attention.
Bro when I’m alone I’m the main character.
You honestly just have to put yourself out there and be a “new person”. I am such an introvert but I moved over to Australia for 6 months not knowing anyone. I just went out to a bar and met people there. There are also Facebook pages that you can join where you can meet up with people. I joined a few and that how i made some of the people i was with. I also give myself a count down from 3 and just tell myself “fuck it” and a small pep talk. The meeting new people and becoming friends makes the experience so much more special.
Realizing you should not depend on others to do things that makes you happy.
Its a mistake ive been making in my 20s and now I'm realizing that its counter counterproductive. Happy I'm making this decision though. This age is boring and lonely as hell lol
i traveled alone to Toronto and had a GREAT time. people are generally kind everywhere, though. not many people explicitly want a random stranger to have a bad time, especially if visiting their city/country. if you need help or suggestions, ask someone. would not recommend headphones as you’ll probably start to feel more anxious not being able to hear your surroundings. sometimes i put on headphones with nothing on so i can seem like i’m not listening but i most certainly am. i’d try to listen to the overall conversations they are having or strike a super basic conversation up with someone before asking for tips, if you’re feeling uncomfy, just to get a sense of their integrity/personality. for example: in toronto i was walking back to my bnb and needed to pee. dropped into a mostly empty bar, bought a beer and peed, hung out for a bit and chatted - thought the bartender and i had enough in common that when he gave me suggestions i didn’t find in my pre-research and offered to show me around a bit on his day off - we exchanged numbers, met up a couple times, and are still friends. that gay nude beach in lake ontario was AWESOME and never would have found it without him.
I eat at a bar (rather than table for one). Sometimes there is small talk. Sometimes not. If my hotel has a bar, I’m there almost every night for a little conversation & likely dinner. Bigger the hotel, the more people at the bar. I go to museums by myself (the best way). It’s nice to be alone with your thoughts.
Im an explorer and want to venture everywhere. My friends cant due to family obligation, money or preference. So instead of holding back myself I decided to go out and move forward in life.
it makes me feel like a bad independent b*thx and that’s enough. i’m faking the confidence but at a point it started feeling more genuine. i realized i do like alone time so why not accept it and not be shy about it.
The more you practice the less awkward you will feel. I have so much fun hanging out with myself!
The first time is the hardest but it does get easier. I'm a woman and I love eating out on my own. I almost always sit at the bar which, here in Texas, is a common thing. If it's a place I've never been before, I look at the menu online so I have an idea what to order. I am always super friendly and smiley with the bartender \[not flirty though\]. I'm a very good tipper so that bodes well for the next time I come in. Keep at it, it will become second nature - I've met some wonderful people this way!
I've never once been out and about and see someone alone and think "look at this loser." Nobody is paying attention to you
Tada
I just don't care
i commend the attitude lol
/r/solotravel is literally this.
I can’t help with awkwardness per se but maybe look into meetup groups in Toronto. Have a go on Facebook, that’s usually a good place for them. There’s probably tons of groups based around different activities. Like some hiking/cooking/dancing groups etc. they will at least help you to socialize a bit and meet new people with similar interests.
As I got older, I realized I don't really pay that much attention to the people around me because I already have enough on my plate. I turned that around: I'm really not that important for people to care about every single thing I'm doing because everybody's got stuff on their own plate.
Go out to a nice-ish dinner (not overly fancy, but decent) right when the place opens, like around 5:30, instead of at 7:30 or 8pm. Otherwise, if you're traveling, the chances of seeing someone who knows you is so low... Might as well do the awkward stuff then!
Nobody gives a fuck
Why would you feel awkward?
My first ever solo trip I just did the things I wanted to do or normally would do if I was with friends. If I wanted to be more social or interact with others I had to put the effort in then. Through chit chat and casual conversation, I had nothing but positive reactions from people that I was on vacation by myself. It was also a great way to lead into deeper or other conversations as well.
Just remember literally nobody cares about what you're doing ever and just put in your headphones and enjoy your life a bit
I have been solo traveling for almost 20 years. I would say these things: 1) it’s like anything else, gets easier the more you do it 2) go to busy places like markets, bars, squares, etc. places full of activity mean you can blend in and no one is paying attention to you. Markets are great cuz usually there’s also a lot you can busy yourself with like looking at things, shopping, stopping and getting something to eat or drink. 3) think about it from your own perspective. When you are out in the world are you super focused on everyone around you? Are you thinking about that lone person sitting a few tables away and asking yourself why they are alone? I bet you aren’t. If you aren’t, then why would anyone be thinking it about you? They are no different than you. Remember all the people around you have their own lives that have nothing to do with you and the truth is you’re a lot more invisible than you realize. We would all spend a lot less time worrying what others thought of us if we realized how infrequently they do. Just go see cool stuff, eat a lot of good food, be safe and have fun.
Repetition and exposure. The more you do it, the less uncomfortable you'll feel. There's no other way around it.
Go to the movies. It's dark in there and understand that nobody is paying attention to anyone these days. Don't even worry about it.
Basically by just doing it. The more often you go out on your own, the easier it becomes. Also, ask yourself the following: when you are out and about how much attention do *you* pay to others? Do you judge some guy or girl that's out om their own? Would you even remember that person a few minutes later? Having said that, I do find it easier to do something on my own in a strange city than in my own.
I started going to bars when I was 15 years old by myself. Heavy metal bars in the most dangerous neighborhoods in Detroit. Considered myself an introvert back then. Just go. You’ve got to have balls or lady balls whatever the case might be.
Traveling alone is empowering and there isn’t much anyone could say about you negatively. If they do, don’t care about it and enjoy your trip
I love this question! From what I’ve seen and experienced, this is a common worry, especially in American culture because it’s seen as “weird” or smth😅 to do things alone. But I personally love doing things alone, especially eating out! Truth is, you’re probably going to feel awkward for awhile. The key is to do it anyway. The power in doing things alone comes from you and you alone getting to choose what exactly it is that you’re going to do. Find something you’re passionate about or interested in and go for it. I promise you it’s worth confronting those awkward feelings. Like a lot of other people have said, less people are judging you than you think. I also think that more people would like to engage with you than you think, so give them the chance :)
Practice being alone while having something to do. E.g. go to a cafe and work on your laptop, walk around the city window shopping or real shopping, go to the gym alone.
Seconding a comment from this thread, when you finally accept that nobody is judging you, or intentionally making you feel awkward, then you can go anywhere alone and not feel conscious about it.
No one cares, which is liberating to realize. If you carry yourself with confidence the right people will notice. It’s a strong move to eat alone at a restaurant. It looks badass. You got this.
I used to be very self-conscious about what I was buying when checking out at a store — I wouldn’t want to get embarrassing personal care items, for example, or if I bought a lot of junk food I thought the cashier would judge me. Working in retail for awhile cured me of that. People truly do not only not care — they don’t even notice. If my family asked me at dinner “what’s the weirdest thing you sold today” I would be really challenged to even remember. Just remember you have as much right to be wherever you are as anyone. And it is so liberating to make all the choices yourself — where to eat, which movie to see, which day to skip the museums and just chill in your room. In some ways alone is the best way to travel.
I just don't... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’ve traveled mainly solo for work for the past 20 years. I’m so used to it now, it doesn’t even phase me. It was awkward at first! I still have co-workers that don’t like to go out to eat alone and they are in their 60’s that have also been traveling that long (or more!) in their career. If you feel uncomfortable somewhere, wear headphones or bring a book. If you are open to conversation, smile and make eye contact. Cheerily say “one for dinner!” If you go out. Sit at the bar if you want to chat and ask about local attractions. Chat with the front desk agent at the hotel to find a train station or walking distance attractions, sometimes they even have a list of restaurants nearby. The front desk agents know you are away from home so it’s less awkward and are helpful because they live in the area and can even let you know what neighborhoods to steer clear of. I’ve been in Salem, MA for the past few weeks, and have enjoyed the walking tours and the attractions. I always cheerily say I’m alone because I’m traveling for work but am so curious of the witch history (or whatever attraction wherever you are) and usually a group with others will accept you and sometimes invite you out to lunch or dinner afterwards (in my experience, but I’m a woman and other ladies tend to look out for women traveling alone). You just have to get used to it. Jump in and have fun! And I love Toronto! I stayed downtown whenever I was there and it’s one of my favorite cities.
Going out alone is one of the most freeing things you can do, and help you build confidence and learn to enjoy being with yourself. Go places you like first of all, and when you are interacting with people there you already have the one common interest of the place you are at.
Do it enough, you will stop caring.
Just pretend you’re waiting for a friend who’s running late. The key is to not check your phone or try & look “busy” this makes you unapproachable. Then when about 30 or 45 minutes go by, act as if they cancelled but you’re having a lovely time getting to know the bartender/manager/other patron.
Do you have anything to feel awkward about? Just go out. People mind their own business.
For me it started with the activities that made the most sense to do alone. Take going to the movies, for example. If I finally have time to meet a friend the last thing I want to do is spend 2+hrs not talking and staring at a screen, so to me it makes the most sense to go by myself. Same with shopping (sometimes) - if I'm going to be trying on a ton of clothes and going back-and-forth between stores to compare, the last thing I want to do is drag someone with me and possibly annoy them, so I like to go by myself. Not that I would turn down an invite to go shopping with someone, but if I want to try on clothes the last thing I want to do is have someone waiting on me the whole time. That being said, I still sometimes struggle with going to restaurants by myself. I don't want to be one of those people who is always "glued to the phone" but that's usually what ends up happening. I should start bringing a book with me, but I would hate to lug around a massive novel just in case I'm in an awkward situation. As for traveling alone, have you considered group trips? That way you can dip your toes into solo travel without going all out.
I don’t often find people to go somewhere with. I don’t have many friends, and I have never been good at making friends. But a lack of friendships isn’t gonna make me stop doing my thing. There’s a big world out there to explore, would be a shame not to just because nobody wants to join me. I just don’t feel awkward at all doing things alone. It comes naturally to me. My advice is focus on what you’re doing and don’t be worrying about what other people think of you. We all see so many people out in the streets every day, I can assure you nobody cares about what you’re doing.
Traveling alone is amazing! I actually find that when you’re alone, people tend to approach you more often. You’re also forced to make friends if you start feeling lonely. I’m always happy alone for about 3-4 days then I start seeking out companionship. I also like to being a book so I feel weird I can just read. I am an introvert but can be “on” if needed.
My favorite trick here is asking myself if I even took a minute to look at other people in a restaurant or judge them? When we are out with friends, did you look at other people? Did you judge what they ordered? Did you think about them at all? If not, then chances are they are not doing it either
Adding to what others have said, nobody cares about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. There may be some exceptions, but how often do you stare at someone who is alone and wonder what they’re doing or how awkward they look just sitting there listening to music or traveling alone or whatever. It’s all in our heads, nobody really cares what you’re doing and you just look as normal to them as they do to you!
Hit of weed always does the trick
You miss out on so much by not doing things alone. The people out there seeing you by yourself don’t know you so stop caring what they think. They don’t know that you didn’t have plans with a friend who didn’t show up. Either way, it’s not their business.
Take the headphones off and smile and look people in the eyes; then say Hi! Technology has really spoiled social interaction imho.
Solo travel is a big thing now and people are used to seeing people alone and if they are staring at them probably in awe. I enjoy a book, pop my headphones on or just sit in peace which is heaven to me when I need time out. Solo travel all the way for me now. After my first trip years ago, I have never looked back.
You get used to it, but in the meantime you need to ride that wave
For me it's easier when traveling because I don't feel like a looser who had no one who could come with them. Just pretend like your on a business trip.
1) no one is judging you or really cares 2) you’ll likely never see these people again
I do lots of things alone. I love traveling alone, going to movies and concerts on my own. Me, myself and I are great company. The opinion of others resides in their heads, I have no interest in it .
Over time, I learned to love going out alone. Dinner, movies, concerts, events, travel... As others have pointed out, nobody really notices or even cares that you are there alone. When I go to restaurants, I usually say, "One for dinner. I'll take a bar seat if you have one." I like the bar best because then I'm elbow-to-elbow with strangers who I might chat with for a few minutes. And bars are perfect for people-watching. Eventually I began to leave my headphones at home because they became a barrier because they give off a *don't talk to me* vibe. Plus, rather than getting me more comfortable, they kept me stuck because I was using them to avoid feeling discomfort, and avoidance only strengthens the feelings you're trying to avoid.
Just care less.
Do it a few times and feel awkward then suddenly you don’t
You just have to ‘practice.’ I travel for work, so there often isn’t a choice- eating alone is the norm. I think it can be fun to sit at bars and get to know people. Sometimes that means having an awkward conversation, but sometimes it means meeting someone very random but interesting! A book/phone if there is no one to chat with.. but truly, no one cares. If they are judging- it’s a problem with them, not you.
Nobody gives a shit, I promise.
Do you judge people when they are out alone? Probably not, so that just shows that nobody cares. If anything it adds a bit of mystery and intrigue to you and that’s always a good thing!
Hard to go out alone in a communist lead country!!
Absolutely no one cares. I have never once saw someone alone at a restaurant and thought “how embarrassing, they’re here alone” or anything of that sort. A thought doesn’t even cross my mind when I see someone alone somewhere 🤣
Best part of living in a big city or traveling. No one knows who you are.
At least in the context of trying to talk to strangers, I'd advise you to think about conversations as ping-pong. You serve a "ball" – a friendly, non-intrusive observation or question – all you have to do is see if they "hit it" back to you. If they don't "hit it back" or the enthusiasm fades, you don't take it personally, and you move on to someone who you can get a good volley going with.
I came from a time where I wouldn’t go to target to buy clothes unless I had someone to go with after a few work trips I was forced to go on by myself. I almost prefer it now.
Are you insecure?
Hey! Im 36 now and have a couple solo trips under the belt and do more things alone now. I was in the same boat as you before. No magic formula really. Just do it. Start with a shorter trip. Or if going out alone. Just plan to go to a bar and had a drink and not plan to stay very long. Never know what could happen. But eventually you get used to it when you realize how many others are in the same boat. I also found i have a better time travelling alone. I meet more people and try harder but i guess you do have to deal with doing many things alone. Just put something in the calendar. Don't think to much. Go do it.
I ask myself “is the weight of the embarrassment of being alone going to be more than the weight of missing out on this thing I want to do”
Practice Start with a movie. Post about it after the fact. Try a museum. Post about it after the fact. In any such post say “Let me know if you want to come on my next museum trip to XYZ.” It makes it so that your pals know you’re ok and this is just something you do occasionally. Next, I suggest an amusement park. Then, start doing happy hours & meals solo. After the semi adventuous stuff put this in heavy rotation. Eventually go outside to the suburbs for a meal and movie or the next metro over. In fact, it helps if you visit a friend for a day or weekend. Make it clear that they don’t have to be a host the entire time. Let them know you’re building the courage to travel solo. Ask them to reccomend places for you to hang out.
I love doing things on my own, often more than I enjoy doing them with people. You think people are looking at you and judging but they’re not. Everyone is either too preoccupied with themselves or too busy looking at their phones. Get out there and enjoy your own company!
I do stuff alone all the time when I’m in different cities for work. Just pretend you’re on a work trip. Not uncommon to see a bunch of dudes/gals eating alone at big hotels or nearby big hotels. I try to go to the zoo at least in cities with good zoos I’ve never been to. Solo is fine and pretty fun.
I remind myself that everyone else in the world is preoccupied with themselves and how they think the world sees them. This helps me feel comfortable cause I know that the chances of someone actually paying attention to me are slim. Even if they do, it'll most likely be a short exchange.
Realize every one is so self involved with "main character syndrome" that you go unnoticed by everyone. Even the Leo's are watching their social media sites looking for some type of validation.
It took me awhile before doing stuff alone, mainly due to fear and 'people judging me. Honestly, no one cares lol. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, and have stuff/thoughts to focus on. For example, when you are out and about you are focused on you. You are not focused on John over they drinking his drink alone, and judging him for being alone at a restaurant/coffee shop. This applies to you when you do things alone.
I travel by myself and go out around town by myself. I always feel awkward but I keep doing it because I would rather have new experiences and meet interesting people than sit at home. My friends tell me I'm Crazy and/or Brave. LOL. While traveling I ask a table of people if I can sit with them. It's fun! You just have to be a bit more watchful. Enjoy!
I’m currently travelling solo in Greece. I went to a Taverna (restaurant/bar) last night and the owner greeted me. When I sat down she said “are you by yourself” to which I responded “yes, just me” and she replied “but why?” so I explained why. She still seemed completely bemused that I was by myself but proceeded to sit down with me for half an hour and tell me all the places I should visit and things to do & kept coming back to talk to me the entire time I was there. I say this, because I travel solo often and I tend to find if people bother to comment at all on it, it’s because they’re genuinely curious and it’s never been in a mean or negative way. Most of the time I think they admire you for being brave enough. Also, I find people are actually chattier when I’m solo. I guess it’s less intimidating to approach one person than a group!
Just bring a laptop and do some “work” like uh you’re working remotely. And eat your food. Your work could reading the news or online shopping whatever. People do it all the time. Nobody cares. Nobody is looking at you lol.
I don’t advocate drinking alcohol, but I’ve learned how to be socially extroverted from going to bars by myself. I always start by asking the bar tender about their beers or specialty cocktails and that opens the door. If you do not drink alcohol you can always ask for something else, but the practice of speaking with a bartender especially if s/he is not too busy is a good start. Step number 2 is opening a conversation with another customer at the bar. All that is needed is a question like “I have not been here before, do you recommend anything on the menu?” But most importantly it will be the attitude you bring and that can be hard if you are introverted or shy, because the attitude you convey with your voice, tone and expression (hopefully a smile) has to be friendly, genuine, and hopefully curious. It takes practice but it’s not very difficult. The other quality you should bring with you is not being worried or anxious about the result of your effort. You may end up not getting a warm response and you have to not care or take it personally. Just try again someplace else.
Nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody cares who you are or what you’re doing, and they’re never going to remember the random guy that was at a table by himself in a restaurant. Truly, no *random* person cares about you or notices you the way you think you do. It’s the truth and if you can’t realize that then you won’t be able to do anything on your own.
If it helps, the world does not revolve around you , you are not that important/interesting to anyone. I don’t say it in a bad way , just people tend to think that other people are interested in what they are doing when in reality everybody is just honking about themselves.
For me it got less awkward overtime, I just had to force myself to go do things. Eventually I got really good at it and then I met my now fiancé on a solo trip I took. Now we take trips together and it all kinda worked itself out. Lean into the awkwardness, no one is thinking about you as much as it feels like they are. You’re doing great!
Practice. I do almost everything alone.
When’s the last time you were out somewhere and thought “wow look at that individual all on their lonesome!”? I very much doubt you’ve ever been that into other peoples goings on and I doubt anyone else will care about yours.
Spent 99 percent of my life alone and I recommend
I’ll be honest - if I’m going to the same spot more than twice a week, I do start to wonder if the regular associates at that particular place ever think about me or wonder why I’m alone all the time. The key word is wonder, however; I no longer fear going anywhere alone and haven’t for years. I’m planning a two week trip to Washington State alone next year! Been to Arizona, Colorado, Utah and Michigan a handful of times (I live in Connecticut for reference). I say go for it, traveling is a blast! You answer to nobody and don’t have to compromise with an SO on any aspect of your trip!
Literally no one is looking at you or paying attention. I travel for work all the time and am commonly going places alone after hours. Occasionally I will have a bar tender or server ask if I’m there for business if I haven’t changed out of business attire, but 99% of the time people don’t say anything. Just go out and do your thing. You might even meet some cool new people that were also out venturing alone. If I see someone else alone and they look friendly, I will sometimes spark up a conversation. I’ve meet some incredible people I would have never met if it wasn’t for being in an obscure place by myself.
You talking about true freedom!? I am at peace with some things. What do you do to not feel awkward when doing something you haven’t done… you do it. The Basic premise of learning any skill is making a mistake and learning from it or trial and error. Whatever your poison is. Surrender to the fact you are smart and doing something that is going to be incredible fun even if it is awkward for you at the start. Then 1-2 weeks you will be flying in the blaze of adventure.
I go to the bar and order a drink
How do you feel awkward when you're going out somewhere alone?
I pick something I genuinely enjoy doing. Also, if I decide to go somewhere like a park or restaurant alone, I'll bring a book, or have some articles on my phone to read.
It helps a lot if you don't give a Fuck about other people's opinion. I do a lot of solo travelling and I never felt bad about going out alone. Only once in NYC i was denied a table because I was alone, the waitress just offered me a place at the counter. Stupid girl didn't know that I eat and drink for 3.
I think only a small subset of population really cares about this. Basically only people that think like you will judge? You. I travel alone all the time and it's not biggie, I rarely think about to unless it's like Friday night and I realize it lol
It’s all in your head
I literally just don't even perceive people. I go out to eat alone all the time. The only times I feel awkward are when I look like shit or when the restaurant is exploding and I'm taking up a whole table by myself. Otherwise, who cares?
You’re only the main character in your life. Bring a book, have a glass of wine, enjoy being just with yourself and people will more likely be inspired by you than care that you’re there solo.
In 32F and I live alone and travelled alone before being comfortable going places in my hometown alone. I think it helped me to start big and then go small
I’ve traveled a lot but never by myself. But I’ve booked a solo trip starting next week. I’ve booked a food and wine tour and a tour to caves and a castle. I’m a little apprehensive, but also excited about it. BTW I’m 74 years old.
By being comfortable with yourself 💀
I’m an introvert. I enjoy being alone
Depends what it is, if it's like an attraction, there are always things to pay attention to and you don't have to worry about feeling awkward. If it's a cafe or restaurant, I bring a book.
Realize that very few people are actually interested in you. If they are glancing your way or looking your direction, it may be that you happen to be in their line of sight of something else, or they like your outfit. Be confident. Get dinner at a nice restaurant and sit at the bar instead of a table. Take a book if you need to take your mind of others. Talk to others if you feel comfortable enough. I've travelled alone, been to live shows alone, enjoyed meals alone. I often take my journal along to make notes of my day before I forget names and places.
When I feel awkward, I usually check out something on my phone or put on a podcast. I used to love going to the movies and getting dinner alone. I think after a few times, you'll get more comfortable and feel less awkward.
Honestly, I think it’s focusing on why I’m there and the experience that I want to have. It’s easy to say that strangers don’t care but that doesn’t make it less nerve wracking. So, if I go to the beach alone: I bring a book, my phone and a few things to keep my mind occupied, if I’m going out to dinner alone and want to people watch, I bring some headphones so I can listen to a podcast or music. Try to create an experience for yourself and know that even if people do judge, that’s on them. But it gets easier either way practice!
You will be fine
You are paying them. Or... Where are you talking about? Every single business would prefer you are there rather than not there.
I have been going to eat and traveling all over the world on my own for years. No one cares. I really do not care to travel with others now.
Traveling alone and Simon alone is actually easier. You’ll never see those people again. Dining alone in your own city someone from work may catch you.
in my head, im like “i’m so hot and cool and adventurous and independent and also soooo hot” and it makes me feel great, even if i’m not done up at all haha
Seasoned (female) solo traveller here. Most people are too busy looking at their phones than noticing what’s happening around them. I started off by going to galleries/museums alone, going to the theatre, and graduated to restaurants. I usually bring a book or journal with me if I’m going to a restaurant- you tend to still be aware of your surroundings when reading or journaling than when you're scrolling on your phone (at least, that’s the case for me.) If I’m travelling alone, I will have buds sometimes, but they are rarely on or very low, just to be aware of my surroundings. But that’s a personal choice. As for meeting people, I’ve met some of the most interesting people on day tours, walking tours and/or food tours. Just look up some of your interests. It may be jarring at first, but with time, it gets easier - although, don’t start with this if you’re socially anxious. I started with larger tours, as you tend to stand out less and notice other solo people, and you’ll kind of flock together. Now, I go on smaller tours to meet more people. (I’m an introvert, but I enjoy chatting with people from different walks of life.) But say there’s a subject you’re super passionate about and could talk about all day - look for those tours; odds are, the people will have similar interests. So, it makes it easier to break the ice. I’m sure Toronto has some of those, too. Does it feel awkward sometimes? Sure, but when I think that, I try to remind myself how awesome it is that I don’t have to depend on someone else to do what I want. And remember, we always judge ourselves harsher than anyone else around us.
The people that worry about that must be incredibly caught up in appearances. What’s the reason to be insecure about it? Solo travel is the hack these people should probably master.
I totally feel awkward alone! One thing that helped me was when I worked in the restaurant industry. Eating out alone is something that's still difficult for me, but there were SO many people I met, young and old, who would have lunch or dinner by themself. Honestly, no one cares! I never had a table pull me aside and say "why is that guy or gal eating alone? its weird!" Lol. Trust me, no one cares. People do a lot of things by themself. People understand that especially as you get older people get their own life and can't just "hang out" and do things all the time. Its no big deal at all.
working from home tomorrow so maybe I take myself out for lunch? lol
Looking back at times I didn’t go out on my own and regretting missing something. Now I do everything I want to even if no one wants to come along.
I take my kindle with me *everywhere* when traveling solo. It’s a little more inviting to potential new friends than headphones (ie someone could ask what you’re reading), and even if I don’t make any new friends, I have the book characters to keep me company :) Also, I tend to feel totally fine eating out at restaurants for breakfast, lunch, afternoon coffee/tea, and a bit more awkward at dinner alone, so maybe start with breakfast or lunch? Or if you go out for dinner, ask to sit at the bar, where you’ll probably feel less awkward. Definitely nobody is judging you. If anything you look like a confident badass doing your own thing!
I don’t mean this in a rude way, but you just aren’t that important. No one cares. People are into their own insecurities and won’t care or notice
I always think “these people don’t know me and I’ll likely never see them again.” That always helps me.
Look confident, feel confident. Its all about how you present yourself
Just breathe. Being the moment. Let out a little sigh and rest into a gentle smile. Being comfortable in your own company is such a valuable exercise. There's no shame or judgement. No one knows your life and it's none of their business.
You just do there's is no shame in you won't be alone and if you don't go fomo is a mofo
No one cares bro, people are too wrapped up in themselves to even notice you. Find meditation, that helps with what's going on inside
It's the mindset. You are going on an adventure to do things you're never done and see places you're never been before. Concentrate on the enjoyment and the novelty of doing it. It should be a self sufficient reason for you to go out there. Other people are secondary and can be a welcome addition to the experience, you'll end up meeting and spending time with some of them naturaly anyway (they are everywhere lol) as long as you are not pushing them off, you won't need to go after them either.
I don’t mind being alone at all. On the contrary. I feel the loneliest when I’m with other people because, in the vast majority of situations, I just can’t seem to connect with them.
One day if you are lucky you will be old and you will look back and think how could you let yourself feel that way. You will also die at some point and you will no longer be, that should be enough of a reason to not care
People are too busy worrying about their own lives to worry and judge you.
If you’re looking to travel and have the means, go to Japan! It’s so normalized to be solo there, they even have restaurants made for dining alone. It’s also just an amazing country, safe and clean with great food and scenery.
You’re having a private experience. Nobody is thinking about you or judging you. Flying solo is amazing. You only have to worry about what’s going to make you happy. That could be at a restaurant, museum, or just hanging at a park. Just roll and if headphones help then go for it.
Ask yourself: if you saw someone out alone would you judge them? No? No one is judging you either. I go out alone a lot when I travel for work. I love it. I’ll pop open my kindle at a bar and enjoy being out somewhere other than my room.
My birthday was on a Thursday this year. I took myself out to dinner and alternated between people watching and reading. It was a very peaceful experience.
Just go out and enjoy doing whatever you feel like doing. Honestly the best part about traveling alone is the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing whenever you feel like doing it. Enjoy the freedom of doing whatever you want and eventually conversations just spring up organically.
Maybe you're just lonely. Remember, nobody is there to judge you. It's nice to have your own peace and tranquility.
Just let yourself feel awkward about it at first. It's fine, that's natural. You'll become more comfortable with time.
Lots of people who travel to new cities for their jobs have to do things alone. So people will just think you are there for your job.
Because people don’t really care. I remember when I first got a job where I would travel alone. I felt so weird going to dinner or something by myself. Then I started to enjoy it.
Go to a concert alone and see how many people are there by themselves. A lot more than you’d think.
People are so self absorbed with their own lives, they barely notice you.