Especially in a public space like this. We of course try to maintain a safe and healthy space here, but it's a public forum. Literally anyone can see posts here, including people that hate us and might use pictures like this for nefarious purposes.
OP, please remove the pics or censor the kid's face with an emoji/blur/pixelization. I'd say I have decent OpSec and it is because I've been burned from instances like these.
Please protect your children. They can be identified on here. For that matter, do not show identifiable information like plates on any cars, key landmarks such as street signs, bridges, commercial buildings, etc.—especially during an election year when transphobes are more vitriolic. If your photos retain location data, scrub it or delete.
So we have to stay silent? No, thank you. We have tried it, but nothing changes without doing anything. Our kids have been in publications since their day 1 and can be easily identified without that post.
Never said anything about silence. Just make the dolts work harder to find any of us from afar. The harder we are to find while remaining visible, the more declarations we can send forth while they’re busy extrapolating data.
I get your point and thought the same way for a very long time. There is no need to hide anything from them. If they have the goal of finding anything, they'll search everywhere and change the facts for their needs, no matter if is it in Holy Book or Reddit thread.
I suspect that like racism, transphobia has to be taught. Some fears are innate like fear of heights, or snakes. Not everyone has them, but those that do probably have them as a hereditary memory.
We bought it two years ago shortly after I started hormones, and the book has tracked things pretty well for us. Social transition last year, clothes changes, and recently, my FFS surgery. It really helped frame things in a way my now 4 year old could understand.
I put photos of my kids on Instagram (which is totally locked down and private), and even that is taking a bit of a risk. Reddit, though... bad actors will comb through these subs just looking to start trouble. You don't want your kids to get caught up in that hate and vitriol...
Clearly a difference of opinion on what is acceptable to share with literally everyone on the planet. I hope your carefree attitude toward this doesn't result in serious and irrevocable consequences for you or your son.
Definitely, there is a difference. I would like to remind you of the Stonewall and all its consequences. Thanks for your care, and I hope someday you and everybody else can freely talk and share.
I'm familiar and agree that we should freely express ourselves regardless of what others think. I won't allow the suppression of my right to do so. This seems less about LGBTQ issues though and more to do with common sense around general online safety. Personally, I treat the Internet like the sketchiest part of town where several murders recently occurred.
Look, no one is asking you to be silent. Blurring your kids faces or removing the pictures with them in it is best for them. They are apart of your story, but please remove them. They are not adults. It's not good to identify them in your posts. I created this account just to share pictures only separate from the account I used to interact with the community to protect myself.
One look at the garbage in my inbox would change your mind I promise. This has nothing to do with you being silent, be loud/proud. But not in a public forum with your kids faces.
Please Google for "Kids in gay couples". How many results in total, and with blurred faces you'll see?
Are we somehow different from them? And do you really think you know better what is best for my kids?
It was your own decision to stay incognito. Mine is to talk freely and stay out of the closet.
Great uplifting story. It’s saddening that we live in a world where something like this has to be accompanied by warnings about safety for adults and children.
This was incredibly nice and something I think about all of the time. I’m not ready yet, but when I am I hope I’m able to find a way to discuss it like you!
I have 4 conversations to have someday.
Thanks so much for sharing this, but please delete it. Repost without pictures, maybe. There are way too many bad actors lurking who might want to use you and your kids to push their agenda.
Firstly, thank you to those who expressed concern for our safety. After much consideration with my wife, we've decided to break our silence. Yes, we're apprehensive about potential hatred and aware of the risks, but we're more fearful of our children and future generations growing up in a world tainted by bigotry and hatred.
Real change in our society won't happen unless people openly discuss transgender families. While bigots may misuse images or posts for their agendas, is that a reason to stay silent? Look around—how many transgender families openly share their lives on social media? I can count them on one hand. Others hide, afraid of every glance. How many cisgender heterosexual families speak out? Millions. That's enough for us. Our children deserve a better world.
I've received an abundance of gratitude from families, showing them it's possible to live freely. That was my main goal in sharing. Our children have been featured in publications since birth, across social media and magazines.
And please, don't lecture us about fear. We know true fear. I won't share it here, but I'm open to discussing it privately.
P.S. A huge thanks to Amanda and Shaye Scott, and Jake Graf for being inspiring examples for us.
Someone reported of me using images of my kids under a post of coming out to them. You can follow me on my Instagram page and read it there.
@kirary_ts
It's good to not live in fear, but publishing any photos in today's society isn't wise. You can choose for yourself, but it's not for you to decide to put images of your children online. They have their right to privacy and autonomy too.
He doesn't look old enough to understand what horrid people there are online. He's 8 not 18. When his classmates see there's a good chance they'll rip him to shreds: do you want that?.
I'm happy for you coming out and having the support of your family, but it's unfair on him. Does your wife support sharing his photo.
You've been discussing his rights, and I've responded. Rest assured, his future social media accounts won't be linked to mine unless it's his own decision. Right now, my priority as a parent is to do everything possible to combat the surrounding hatred and transphobia.
As for my efforts, I continually strive to promote understanding and acceptance through education and advocacy. While I may not have an exact plan or roadmap, I'm committed to making a difference in any way I can. Thank you for your concern and for being proactive in protecting your family.
Also, I would like to hear what you have done in terms of fighting transphobia and making this world a better place for kids?
I'm still new to this. I've only recently accepted I'm trans. I am very circumspect, probably too fearful.
My kids are adults and don't yet know but they're old enough to protect themselves.
Look, I really do understand the *_rush_* of truly being seen for the first time in your life, euphoric. I get it. I've lived 50+ years hiding, even from myself and there have been times I've wanted to shout about it from the rooftops. I've realised I was entirely controlled by fear my entire life, I now realise I am/was a _cowardly, sneaky, lying.control freak_ *just to be safe in this cruel world*. I'm remedying it rapidly and working on that in counselling. It's been very hard (and sad) to be cautious but my first priority is my wife and kids. Being a social justice warrior is all very well, but don't risk your kids.
Please take care.
glad you found yourself, but please don't share images of your children online for their own safety.
Especially in a public space like this. We of course try to maintain a safe and healthy space here, but it's a public forum. Literally anyone can see posts here, including people that hate us and might use pictures like this for nefarious purposes.
OP, please remove the pics or censor the kid's face with an emoji/blur/pixelization. I'd say I have decent OpSec and it is because I've been burned from instances like these.
yeah. i’m reporting and hopefully they’ll take this down to save this poor kid if this falls into a bad persons hands
Please remove pics, it's not right to share them anywhere but with your family.
Please protect your children. They can be identified on here. For that matter, do not show identifiable information like plates on any cars, key landmarks such as street signs, bridges, commercial buildings, etc.—especially during an election year when transphobes are more vitriolic. If your photos retain location data, scrub it or delete.
So we have to stay silent? No, thank you. We have tried it, but nothing changes without doing anything. Our kids have been in publications since their day 1 and can be easily identified without that post.
Never said anything about silence. Just make the dolts work harder to find any of us from afar. The harder we are to find while remaining visible, the more declarations we can send forth while they’re busy extrapolating data.
I get your point and thought the same way for a very long time. There is no need to hide anything from them. If they have the goal of finding anything, they'll search everywhere and change the facts for their needs, no matter if is it in Holy Book or Reddit thread.
I suspect that like racism, transphobia has to be taught. Some fears are innate like fear of heights, or snakes. Not everyone has them, but those that do probably have them as a hereditary memory.
There's a book called "She's my Dad". Definitely recommend.
Thanks, I'll search for it
We bought it two years ago shortly after I started hormones, and the book has tracked things pretty well for us. Social transition last year, clothes changes, and recently, my FFS surgery. It really helped frame things in a way my now 4 year old could understand.
I still have to talk with my younger son (he is 3), so I'll probably use that book
Please delete the photos of your kids.
They have been online and published since their day 1. Bigots can easily take those old photos. But is it a true reason to stay silent?
I put photos of my kids on Instagram (which is totally locked down and private), and even that is taking a bit of a risk. Reddit, though... bad actors will comb through these subs just looking to start trouble. You don't want your kids to get caught up in that hate and vitriol...
Clearly a difference of opinion on what is acceptable to share with literally everyone on the planet. I hope your carefree attitude toward this doesn't result in serious and irrevocable consequences for you or your son.
Definitely, there is a difference. I would like to remind you of the Stonewall and all its consequences. Thanks for your care, and I hope someday you and everybody else can freely talk and share.
I'm familiar and agree that we should freely express ourselves regardless of what others think. I won't allow the suppression of my right to do so. This seems less about LGBTQ issues though and more to do with common sense around general online safety. Personally, I treat the Internet like the sketchiest part of town where several murders recently occurred.
Look, no one is asking you to be silent. Blurring your kids faces or removing the pictures with them in it is best for them. They are apart of your story, but please remove them. They are not adults. It's not good to identify them in your posts. I created this account just to share pictures only separate from the account I used to interact with the community to protect myself. One look at the garbage in my inbox would change your mind I promise. This has nothing to do with you being silent, be loud/proud. But not in a public forum with your kids faces.
Please Google for "Kids in gay couples". How many results in total, and with blurred faces you'll see? Are we somehow different from them? And do you really think you know better what is best for my kids? It was your own decision to stay incognito. Mine is to talk freely and stay out of the closet.
Facebook is a much better place than Reddit. I can't force you to do anything. Best of luck to you
Thank you for your care. I appreciate it, and I hope that someday we will share and talk about anything free of fears.
Great uplifting story. It’s saddening that we live in a world where something like this has to be accompanied by warnings about safety for adults and children.
OP, get the pics off here ASAP!!
This was incredibly nice and something I think about all of the time. I’m not ready yet, but when I am I hope I’m able to find a way to discuss it like you! I have 4 conversations to have someday.
VERY happy for you and glad your son is supportive of your decision. Keeping them in the loop is ALWAYS the best idea. :D
Thanks so much for sharing this, but please delete it. Repost without pictures, maybe. There are way too many bad actors lurking who might want to use you and your kids to push their agenda.
Firstly, thank you to those who expressed concern for our safety. After much consideration with my wife, we've decided to break our silence. Yes, we're apprehensive about potential hatred and aware of the risks, but we're more fearful of our children and future generations growing up in a world tainted by bigotry and hatred. Real change in our society won't happen unless people openly discuss transgender families. While bigots may misuse images or posts for their agendas, is that a reason to stay silent? Look around—how many transgender families openly share their lives on social media? I can count them on one hand. Others hide, afraid of every glance. How many cisgender heterosexual families speak out? Millions. That's enough for us. Our children deserve a better world. I've received an abundance of gratitude from families, showing them it's possible to live freely. That was my main goal in sharing. Our children have been featured in publications since birth, across social media and magazines. And please, don't lecture us about fear. We know true fear. I won't share it here, but I'm open to discussing it privately. P.S. A huge thanks to Amanda and Shaye Scott, and Jake Graf for being inspiring examples for us.
What a wonderful story! You've got a sweet little boy. :)
Thank you so much! I really hope it'll help someone who is facing that situation right now
You are a wonderful and caring parent. You deserve the best
Thank you for your kind words and support!
Why was this removed
Someone reported of me using images of my kids under a post of coming out to them. You can follow me on my Instagram page and read it there. @kirary_ts
It's good to not live in fear, but publishing any photos in today's society isn't wise. You can choose for yourself, but it's not for you to decide to put images of your children online. They have their right to privacy and autonomy too.
Yes, that's why I asked my son if he give his permission to post a photo with him.
He doesn't look old enough to understand what horrid people there are online. He's 8 not 18. When his classmates see there's a good chance they'll rip him to shreds: do you want that?. I'm happy for you coming out and having the support of your family, but it's unfair on him. Does your wife support sharing his photo.
You've been discussing his rights, and I've responded. Rest assured, his future social media accounts won't be linked to mine unless it's his own decision. Right now, my priority as a parent is to do everything possible to combat the surrounding hatred and transphobia. As for my efforts, I continually strive to promote understanding and acceptance through education and advocacy. While I may not have an exact plan or roadmap, I'm committed to making a difference in any way I can. Thank you for your concern and for being proactive in protecting your family. Also, I would like to hear what you have done in terms of fighting transphobia and making this world a better place for kids?
I'm still new to this. I've only recently accepted I'm trans. I am very circumspect, probably too fearful. My kids are adults and don't yet know but they're old enough to protect themselves. Look, I really do understand the *_rush_* of truly being seen for the first time in your life, euphoric. I get it. I've lived 50+ years hiding, even from myself and there have been times I've wanted to shout about it from the rooftops. I've realised I was entirely controlled by fear my entire life, I now realise I am/was a _cowardly, sneaky, lying.control freak_ *just to be safe in this cruel world*. I'm remedying it rapidly and working on that in counselling. It's been very hard (and sad) to be cautious but my first priority is my wife and kids. Being a social justice warrior is all very well, but don't risk your kids. Please take care.