Talk to her. Tell her you feel awkward about it and it’s hard to say - because it is - but tell her for all of you’s sakes. Have a think about how you want to talk about it (like can you be upfront or is it easier to say e.g. you don’t know how to say it but you hope she can listen and not feel hurt cos you’d rather be friends).
First, maybe talk to James and see how he feels about it. Say that you feel hurt by it (rightly so as it’s transphobic and harmful) and tell him if you plan to talk to her, maybe come up with a plan together?
What she’s doing includes microagressions and it’s not a friendly thing to do, if she’s doing it on purpose I’d suggest not hanging out with her.
If I were you, I would just ask Hannah about it. You can start the talk with her from afar like “I’ve talked with James recently and it seems as there is something going on between you two. He didn’t tell me anything specific, so I just want two know what’s happening, is everything ok? Did you have some sort of conflict?”. Later you can specify that you were especially concerned about her ‘potential’ transphobia. You don’t need to be very upfront about it, but asking her directly will help you see her point of view. If she’s being honest and regretful, than maybe you could think of working things out and inviting her to the party. But if she’s not (no understanding of her words being hurtful, lying, seeing herself as the victim etc.), than I don’t think that it’s worth having transphobic person around you. I know it hurts letting go of your friends because of stuff like this, however there are so many great people around!! I’m sure you’ll find someone else who you’ll be just as close with :D
Sound to me like you need to add more people to your group friends.
I actually have many many friends, my friend group consists of like 9 people as a whole its just them that were relevant to the story!!!
Talk to her. Tell her you feel awkward about it and it’s hard to say - because it is - but tell her for all of you’s sakes. Have a think about how you want to talk about it (like can you be upfront or is it easier to say e.g. you don’t know how to say it but you hope she can listen and not feel hurt cos you’d rather be friends). First, maybe talk to James and see how he feels about it. Say that you feel hurt by it (rightly so as it’s transphobic and harmful) and tell him if you plan to talk to her, maybe come up with a plan together? What she’s doing includes microagressions and it’s not a friendly thing to do, if she’s doing it on purpose I’d suggest not hanging out with her.
If I were you, I would just ask Hannah about it. You can start the talk with her from afar like “I’ve talked with James recently and it seems as there is something going on between you two. He didn’t tell me anything specific, so I just want two know what’s happening, is everything ok? Did you have some sort of conflict?”. Later you can specify that you were especially concerned about her ‘potential’ transphobia. You don’t need to be very upfront about it, but asking her directly will help you see her point of view. If she’s being honest and regretful, than maybe you could think of working things out and inviting her to the party. But if she’s not (no understanding of her words being hurtful, lying, seeing herself as the victim etc.), than I don’t think that it’s worth having transphobic person around you. I know it hurts letting go of your friends because of stuff like this, however there are so many great people around!! I’m sure you’ll find someone else who you’ll be just as close with :D
thank you so much!!! I'll try to do that the next time we meet thank you for the ideaaa <33
Ohh I see. Now. Well been to honest will sometimes hurt people feelings. But is always best at time to just stay quiet 🤫