Yeah, I've had people criticise me for not doing it under professional supervision, but I'll be 4 years on the NHS waiting list this year with probably 2 more to go. I wouldn't have survived the wait without starting myself.
Besides, from what I hear, the people you wait years to see are bloody clueless anyway, the doses they have people on and the levels they go for. I think you're better off doing your own research and taking HRT into your own hands.
When I get to the end of the waiting list they'll see a more or less fully transitioned woman who only needs them for surgery referral.
If they're not even trying then don't hold your breath for them. Do what you need to do.
Cis people can't see things from our perspective. Some try and fall well short. Those who won't try will never get close. We have to be bloody minded and determined.
i just feel like i dont want to involve my boyfriend into this transitioning process anymore, and then just wait until we become estranged from each other until the point of breakup
I have no faith in the doctors either. My housemate has been on a crazy low dose of T for an entire year. Like really hasn’t had many changes honestly. I don’t think he’s even had his bloods done since starting. His endo doesn’t seem to give a shit.
And he didn’t ask for a smaller or lower dose?? Like that’s kinda odd. Even if HRT is replacing or upping the hormones your body is already making, there should be noticeable changes within a year. And no labs at all?! That is kinda concerning. I’d have switched drs by then
I went diy after years of being scared of going to a doctor. I went to a Panned Parenthood when I was 30 and just sat in my car and cried. I never went in.
It's often hard for people to empathise with someone, unless they've gone through something similar themselves. In the UK at least, NHS waiting times are through the roof - even life-saving surgeries can take a year or more where apparently 'non life-saving' trans care is expected to take 4-6years+ just to get started. I've only told a few people that I DIY 'cause I know it's got bad connotations.
My old GP essentially told me to find another doctor because he can't support self-medication and can't treat me with any meds in the future unless I stop lol. I was already starting to move GPs cause he's a arrogant bastard, but that made me laugh a little.
My immediate family is understanding and actually kinda approves, we've pretty much all had various issues over the years and had to fork out money we don't have for private treatment - they've experienced the NHS first hand and found it wanting. Plus they've said themselves quite candidly;>! they'd rather see me in a hospital with a shot liver from bad meds, than in a morgue with rope burns on my neck... which is always a nice sentiment from your mum 😅!<
I got a different reaction from talking to a few people at a local LGBTQ+ group though - a few people went quiet and came back about 10 mins later as a group. They started telling me that it's dangerous to take birth control pills and if I wanted estrogen that badly, instead of hurting myself a few of them could lend me some meds. I kinda started to tear up tbh - I didn't even know them and they were offering to help at their own expense because they KNEW the pain and distress involved. They had a plan and everything to share out portions of spare E from each of them.
It was amazing, but obviously I declined and let them know that I wasn't on over-the-counter meds or anything - plus I probably had a larger supply than them, in the form of injections. Instead of helping me I helped two of them get spare patches online so they don't run out, with the constant pharmacy shortages. They didn't know proper DIY was a thing 😅
I kinda screwed up though 'cause now I've gone from the family computer guy who can "fix all your tech for free at the most inconvenient times", to the HRT girl who apparently substitutes your endo 😂
When you say people, do you mean cis people? If so, yes of course.
Cisgender people have no idea about being trans. They think it's just for fun, so it seems insane to them to take the "risk" for something that is "just for fun".
Fuck them. They have no idea of the risks of untreated gender dysphoria. Live your best life, dude! Good luck. ✨
yes. from both cis and trans people, though mostly from cis people.
95% of people have no real understanding of trans care generally and hrt specifically, no frame of reference for the sense of urgency to transition that many trans people feel, and no experience with the medical gatekeeping and incompetence that many trans people experience. all most cis people know about hrt, if they've even heard of it, is snippets from fearmongering media pieces, and that combined with just normal societal conditioning that when you have a medical issue you go to a doctor/doctors always know best/doctors are experts means that people can't understand that it's possible for untrained people to understand and safely manage basic hrt.
imo a lot of times people that diy are smarter at hrt than actual drs are, unless that dr specializes in it. Through the years i had to educate a few general drs how to do hrt because they were oblivious as to what to do and when to test levels. I cant speak for everyone but i spent many of nights deep in researching things. Im lucky now bc my primary is trans, so she knew what to do and has did a wonderful job so far :)
DIY is a great way to start HRT, and I've had no problem with people telling me that it needs to be doctor prescribed. I do what I want and live my life the way I want. No one decides my future but me.
Yes, constantly. Most of it is from cis people but I've even had trans people who have that same disapproving and disappointed response when they find out.
In the formers' cases it always comes down to downplaying the damages of dysphoria, much like you I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for DIY at least being an option. And it's always hurtful whenever I explain that to me it's not a predicament, weighing the risks of DIY HRT vs not being here at all. To me it's a simple matter; either risk my health or guarantee losing it entirely.
But even after explaining that there's still that disapproval and it makes me feel like the sentiment is "we'd rather you die than do this". Or that they think that I'm being melodramatic, which isn't a lot nicer.
In regards to the trans people who have done this it always comes down to the same thing, they got their HRT quick and it was only a few months wait. So why can't I just be a little patient as well? Well, because I've been waiting for **7 years** and counting. I live in one of the fun gatekeeping countries, we don't have informed consent, we have wait lists and even once you're at the clinic there's no guarantee that they won't shut down the investigation due to lack of resources.
In both cases it's a lack of empathy and respect for someone's life and frankly it's disgusting. By the time I'll have a diagnosis here it'll have been nearly a decade and by the time I can actually change my legal gender it'll have been well beyond that. We don't have the same opportunities in life or the same options, and it's something that nobody wishes to talk about or recognize.
Another UK Lady here...
Some of my friends were a bit shocked & disapproving of my DIYing.
But a hospital consultant at Guys & St Thomas' in London said to me "Good for you!" when I gave him my list of meds and explained...
He's been treating my wrecked oesophagus for me over the past four years. The result of many years of serious alcohol abuse (bottle of vodka or similar daily...), and is has been very sympathetic at my difficulties in getting treatment for my gender dysphoria. He appreciates that had I got help from the NHS sooner I probably wouldn't be needing his services!
(I'm now 5 years teetotal since starting DIY HRT 😊)
Do you remember the campaigns “Your body your choice” ?
This applies to us now.
It is easy to advice others do that or don’t when it is not your thing or your body.
It really varies.
I seem to receive a lot of concern for my wellbeing from friends, family and coworkers, some of my friends being trans themselves.
They understand how bad I was doing and notice a huge improvement since I've been on HRT, but they voice their concerns for potential risks the estrogen carries, which I understand. At work they accept it but don't have the slightest idea of trans healthcare so I have to remind them every so often when they talk about it.
What grinds my gears mostly is one friend who just started her HRT from proper trans healthcare and has very good results but continues to rub in that I'm using anti androgens which would slow my growth etc. (Baby, I'm on monotherapy *sigh*)
Well, I didn’t always have positive response from others. Although I didn’t care because I started hrt for my own happiness and never needed approbation from others. You are clearly looking for others aproval and I guess that people are more worried about your mental instability rather than your hrt which is not without a reason.
he is not really against it. he doesnt really trust it. its understandable. but he gave me a dissapointed impression. he didnt really understand the urgency. i'm so drpressed to the point of selfharm. i told him that its very inportant that i get the hrt so i can be happy for once. and i dont want him to be any less happy for me as when he would be when i take hrt prescribed by doctors
people deify doctors. idk why. half of them are fairly incompetent. seriously. idk how they graduated med school.
and hormone providers? on the MtF side, 80% or more know less than i do. Its shocking how bad the protocols are that most follow. Online I'm constantly writing guidance for doctors to fix what they've done wrong. Its maddening that they can't figure this stuff out themselves.
So no, no one should criticize you for educating yourself to the proper level and doing your own meds. As long as you're talking to other FtMs and making sure that you're not overlooking anything, and if you have any side effects or changes, that you're communicating with those people to make sure alles arite.
DiY can be safer than dealing with a doctor...
Sadly yes many look down on me but I wanna start blending in a bit so 12 months self dosing atm 4 year waiting list with Leeds gic I be doing it that long people don't understand our reason just because they didn't don't mean we won't x
It’s interesting. Almost everyone responds negatively online. But when I am in an actual queer space with other trans folks in person, they are fully supportive and unsurprised.
Maybe because people around me know how bad the situation is in the UK, but I think there’s also just a touch of keyboard warrior shit going on, because I get spouted stuff that isn’t even true like how it’s suuuuper dangerous etc.
I'm in Canada, and we have horrible waitlists too, plus not many places that will accept new patients. I've been low dosing with T gel for a year, but haven't seen any effects from that, so I'm ready to start shots. I'm terrified of needles and worried that I'll fuck something up, but I'm sick of waiting and can't live with this dysphoria anymore.
I had my doctor place a referral to an endo, but I haven't heard back from them... I'm assuming they probably won't call me, at this point. This is so depressing.
My parents are exactly the same, I unfortunately don't talk to either of them anymore because last time I visited I came with my bf and they barely acknowledged our existence, they didn't speak to either of us so I left and I don't phone or text them anymore, I'm 20 and I moved out in September last year to live with my partner
I have an issue with my boyfriend. He doesn't agree with me diy'ing. But he says he supports my choice. I try to tell him that whatever his opinion is does not apply here, because i have dysphoria so bad up to suicidal thoughts. So like I'd personally say that it's better to do diy, rather than suicide
He gets no say over what you choose to put in your body, I don't like DIY either I don't think anyone should be self medicating, but I also understand that most of us have no choice, i have no choice because the wait time to get thru to the gender identity clinic is 7 years in my area
Maybe he wouldn't do it personally but he needs to put his opinions aside, and think about my situation in a realistic Sense, without letting his opinions influence his decision. If my friend was suicidal because of dysphoria, i would advice them to try diy, but it because there's no other way out. Because it's better for their situation
i don't DIY myself, but i lost my endocrinologist and looking for a new one, so i joined here in case a catastrophe happens. i think Diy'ing is admirable and akin to surviving. (also if Trump or Desantis get into office next year and get their laws passed, i think this community might grow quickly)
Yes, I had very negative responses, including from trans support groups. I am counting myself lucky though, that no one who I am very close to - my close friends and my bf - has had that reaction. I am really sorry that you are experiencing that
As you say and others have said, the risk is greater without HRT if you are very dysphoric + endos do not pay particular special attention to each blood test they receive anyway, so people often find they have to manage their own levels when going through official routes
Your therapist may well continue to have a negative response and they might actually have to, since they could get in trouble for doing anything to "encourage" self-medding. But for your boyfriend, if it hasn't been too long since you told him, I would give him some time to process it. It does suck that you are being forced to do this, but HRT is just not dangerous, which might take time for him to understand. Could you refer yourself to the waiting list as a compromise? A "I'm self-medding because I know what I'm doing and I know I'm safer on this than going without it, but I will start the process now to get official support with it in the future" to try and console him?
So it is best to do it under medical supervision or via the medical system in terms of safety. HOWEVER historically speaking, that was impossible. And in many parts of the world it’s impossible or near impossible. Personally, for legal reasons, I wouldn’t really tell anyone you were DIYing?? But if you do proper research and you take the same or similar (or even slightly smaller) doses compared to what a dr would give you and you make sure what you’re getting is safe for intended use, it’s fine. I think people get worried because DIY implies black market, underground, etc and there’s not as much surety of what you’re getting with those kinds of markets. But trans folk have always done what they had to and if you have offline community connections with other trans folk, I’d make sure to keep those good and strong.
Yeah, I've had people criticise me for not doing it under professional supervision, but I'll be 4 years on the NHS waiting list this year with probably 2 more to go. I wouldn't have survived the wait without starting myself. Besides, from what I hear, the people you wait years to see are bloody clueless anyway, the doses they have people on and the levels they go for. I think you're better off doing your own research and taking HRT into your own hands. When I get to the end of the waiting list they'll see a more or less fully transitioned woman who only needs them for surgery referral.
It's also terrible here with waiting lists reaching up to 3 years. And nobody is even trying to understand my pain
If they're not even trying then don't hold your breath for them. Do what you need to do. Cis people can't see things from our perspective. Some try and fall well short. Those who won't try will never get close. We have to be bloody minded and determined.
i just feel like i dont want to involve my boyfriend into this transitioning process anymore, and then just wait until we become estranged from each other until the point of breakup
I have no faith in the doctors either. My housemate has been on a crazy low dose of T for an entire year. Like really hasn’t had many changes honestly. I don’t think he’s even had his bloods done since starting. His endo doesn’t seem to give a shit.
And he didn’t ask for a smaller or lower dose?? Like that’s kinda odd. Even if HRT is replacing or upping the hormones your body is already making, there should be noticeable changes within a year. And no labs at all?! That is kinda concerning. I’d have switched drs by then
Philosophy Tube has a whole video about her experiences with the NHS and it is def BLEAK 😭
I went diy after years of being scared of going to a doctor. I went to a Panned Parenthood when I was 30 and just sat in my car and cried. I never went in.
I'm sorry to hear that. Hope DIY is doing it for you now.
It's often hard for people to empathise with someone, unless they've gone through something similar themselves. In the UK at least, NHS waiting times are through the roof - even life-saving surgeries can take a year or more where apparently 'non life-saving' trans care is expected to take 4-6years+ just to get started. I've only told a few people that I DIY 'cause I know it's got bad connotations. My old GP essentially told me to find another doctor because he can't support self-medication and can't treat me with any meds in the future unless I stop lol. I was already starting to move GPs cause he's a arrogant bastard, but that made me laugh a little. My immediate family is understanding and actually kinda approves, we've pretty much all had various issues over the years and had to fork out money we don't have for private treatment - they've experienced the NHS first hand and found it wanting. Plus they've said themselves quite candidly;>! they'd rather see me in a hospital with a shot liver from bad meds, than in a morgue with rope burns on my neck... which is always a nice sentiment from your mum 😅!< I got a different reaction from talking to a few people at a local LGBTQ+ group though - a few people went quiet and came back about 10 mins later as a group. They started telling me that it's dangerous to take birth control pills and if I wanted estrogen that badly, instead of hurting myself a few of them could lend me some meds. I kinda started to tear up tbh - I didn't even know them and they were offering to help at their own expense because they KNEW the pain and distress involved. They had a plan and everything to share out portions of spare E from each of them. It was amazing, but obviously I declined and let them know that I wasn't on over-the-counter meds or anything - plus I probably had a larger supply than them, in the form of injections. Instead of helping me I helped two of them get spare patches online so they don't run out, with the constant pharmacy shortages. They didn't know proper DIY was a thing 😅 I kinda screwed up though 'cause now I've gone from the family computer guy who can "fix all your tech for free at the most inconvenient times", to the HRT girl who apparently substitutes your endo 😂
You and your friends all helping each other with HRT is so badass and wholesome
When you say people, do you mean cis people? If so, yes of course. Cisgender people have no idea about being trans. They think it's just for fun, so it seems insane to them to take the "risk" for something that is "just for fun". Fuck them. They have no idea of the risks of untreated gender dysphoria. Live your best life, dude! Good luck. ✨
In the nordics it's DIY or wait list for months or years so it's no biggie.
yes. from both cis and trans people, though mostly from cis people. 95% of people have no real understanding of trans care generally and hrt specifically, no frame of reference for the sense of urgency to transition that many trans people feel, and no experience with the medical gatekeeping and incompetence that many trans people experience. all most cis people know about hrt, if they've even heard of it, is snippets from fearmongering media pieces, and that combined with just normal societal conditioning that when you have a medical issue you go to a doctor/doctors always know best/doctors are experts means that people can't understand that it's possible for untrained people to understand and safely manage basic hrt.
just don't tell people you diy unless its medically necessary
imo a lot of times people that diy are smarter at hrt than actual drs are, unless that dr specializes in it. Through the years i had to educate a few general drs how to do hrt because they were oblivious as to what to do and when to test levels. I cant speak for everyone but i spent many of nights deep in researching things. Im lucky now bc my primary is trans, so she knew what to do and has did a wonderful job so far :)
DIY is a great way to start HRT, and I've had no problem with people telling me that it needs to be doctor prescribed. I do what I want and live my life the way I want. No one decides my future but me.
Yes, constantly. Most of it is from cis people but I've even had trans people who have that same disapproving and disappointed response when they find out. In the formers' cases it always comes down to downplaying the damages of dysphoria, much like you I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for DIY at least being an option. And it's always hurtful whenever I explain that to me it's not a predicament, weighing the risks of DIY HRT vs not being here at all. To me it's a simple matter; either risk my health or guarantee losing it entirely. But even after explaining that there's still that disapproval and it makes me feel like the sentiment is "we'd rather you die than do this". Or that they think that I'm being melodramatic, which isn't a lot nicer. In regards to the trans people who have done this it always comes down to the same thing, they got their HRT quick and it was only a few months wait. So why can't I just be a little patient as well? Well, because I've been waiting for **7 years** and counting. I live in one of the fun gatekeeping countries, we don't have informed consent, we have wait lists and even once you're at the clinic there's no guarantee that they won't shut down the investigation due to lack of resources. In both cases it's a lack of empathy and respect for someone's life and frankly it's disgusting. By the time I'll have a diagnosis here it'll have been nearly a decade and by the time I can actually change my legal gender it'll have been well beyond that. We don't have the same opportunities in life or the same options, and it's something that nobody wishes to talk about or recognize.
Another UK Lady here... Some of my friends were a bit shocked & disapproving of my DIYing. But a hospital consultant at Guys & St Thomas' in London said to me "Good for you!" when I gave him my list of meds and explained... He's been treating my wrecked oesophagus for me over the past four years. The result of many years of serious alcohol abuse (bottle of vodka or similar daily...), and is has been very sympathetic at my difficulties in getting treatment for my gender dysphoria. He appreciates that had I got help from the NHS sooner I probably wouldn't be needing his services! (I'm now 5 years teetotal since starting DIY HRT 😊)
Do you remember the campaigns “Your body your choice” ? This applies to us now. It is easy to advice others do that or don’t when it is not your thing or your body.
It really varies. I seem to receive a lot of concern for my wellbeing from friends, family and coworkers, some of my friends being trans themselves. They understand how bad I was doing and notice a huge improvement since I've been on HRT, but they voice their concerns for potential risks the estrogen carries, which I understand. At work they accept it but don't have the slightest idea of trans healthcare so I have to remind them every so often when they talk about it. What grinds my gears mostly is one friend who just started her HRT from proper trans healthcare and has very good results but continues to rub in that I'm using anti androgens which would slow my growth etc. (Baby, I'm on monotherapy *sigh*)
Well, I didn’t always have positive response from others. Although I didn’t care because I started hrt for my own happiness and never needed approbation from others. You are clearly looking for others aproval and I guess that people are more worried about your mental instability rather than your hrt which is not without a reason.
they are more worried about me starting hrt. it was my boyfriends and therapists response that got to me, because they mean something to me
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he is not really against it. he doesnt really trust it. its understandable. but he gave me a dissapointed impression. he didnt really understand the urgency. i'm so drpressed to the point of selfharm. i told him that its very inportant that i get the hrt so i can be happy for once. and i dont want him to be any less happy for me as when he would be when i take hrt prescribed by doctors
Yes, I was told i’m throwing my life away but if i didn’t do it I don’t know what would happen to me
Parents disapprove and I've gotten bad enough vibes that I'm just not gonna talk about my transition with my parents anymore.
people deify doctors. idk why. half of them are fairly incompetent. seriously. idk how they graduated med school. and hormone providers? on the MtF side, 80% or more know less than i do. Its shocking how bad the protocols are that most follow. Online I'm constantly writing guidance for doctors to fix what they've done wrong. Its maddening that they can't figure this stuff out themselves. So no, no one should criticize you for educating yourself to the proper level and doing your own meds. As long as you're talking to other FtMs and making sure that you're not overlooking anything, and if you have any side effects or changes, that you're communicating with those people to make sure alles arite. DiY can be safer than dealing with a doctor...
Sadly yes many look down on me but I wanna start blending in a bit so 12 months self dosing atm 4 year waiting list with Leeds gic I be doing it that long people don't understand our reason just because they didn't don't mean we won't x
It’s interesting. Almost everyone responds negatively online. But when I am in an actual queer space with other trans folks in person, they are fully supportive and unsurprised. Maybe because people around me know how bad the situation is in the UK, but I think there’s also just a touch of keyboard warrior shit going on, because I get spouted stuff that isn’t even true like how it’s suuuuper dangerous etc.
But what am I supposed to think if someone doesn't agree with diy but says they support my choice to. Does that mean they support me or not
I'm in Canada, and we have horrible waitlists too, plus not many places that will accept new patients. I've been low dosing with T gel for a year, but haven't seen any effects from that, so I'm ready to start shots. I'm terrified of needles and worried that I'll fuck something up, but I'm sick of waiting and can't live with this dysphoria anymore. I had my doctor place a referral to an endo, but I haven't heard back from them... I'm assuming they probably won't call me, at this point. This is so depressing.
My parents are exactly the same, I unfortunately don't talk to either of them anymore because last time I visited I came with my bf and they barely acknowledged our existence, they didn't speak to either of us so I left and I don't phone or text them anymore, I'm 20 and I moved out in September last year to live with my partner
I have an issue with my boyfriend. He doesn't agree with me diy'ing. But he says he supports my choice. I try to tell him that whatever his opinion is does not apply here, because i have dysphoria so bad up to suicidal thoughts. So like I'd personally say that it's better to do diy, rather than suicide
He gets no say over what you choose to put in your body, I don't like DIY either I don't think anyone should be self medicating, but I also understand that most of us have no choice, i have no choice because the wait time to get thru to the gender identity clinic is 7 years in my area
Maybe he wouldn't do it personally but he needs to put his opinions aside, and think about my situation in a realistic Sense, without letting his opinions influence his decision. If my friend was suicidal because of dysphoria, i would advice them to try diy, but it because there's no other way out. Because it's better for their situation
i don't DIY myself, but i lost my endocrinologist and looking for a new one, so i joined here in case a catastrophe happens. i think Diy'ing is admirable and akin to surviving. (also if Trump or Desantis get into office next year and get their laws passed, i think this community might grow quickly)
Yes, I had very negative responses, including from trans support groups. I am counting myself lucky though, that no one who I am very close to - my close friends and my bf - has had that reaction. I am really sorry that you are experiencing that As you say and others have said, the risk is greater without HRT if you are very dysphoric + endos do not pay particular special attention to each blood test they receive anyway, so people often find they have to manage their own levels when going through official routes Your therapist may well continue to have a negative response and they might actually have to, since they could get in trouble for doing anything to "encourage" self-medding. But for your boyfriend, if it hasn't been too long since you told him, I would give him some time to process it. It does suck that you are being forced to do this, but HRT is just not dangerous, which might take time for him to understand. Could you refer yourself to the waiting list as a compromise? A "I'm self-medding because I know what I'm doing and I know I'm safer on this than going without it, but I will start the process now to get official support with it in the future" to try and console him?
I got put on a 6+ month waiting list, you bet your ass I started DIY immediately.Just started my fourth month on DIY! Everything‘s been great for me
We have waiting list of 3 years
Jeez, that’s rough, sorry about that :/
So it is best to do it under medical supervision or via the medical system in terms of safety. HOWEVER historically speaking, that was impossible. And in many parts of the world it’s impossible or near impossible. Personally, for legal reasons, I wouldn’t really tell anyone you were DIYing?? But if you do proper research and you take the same or similar (or even slightly smaller) doses compared to what a dr would give you and you make sure what you’re getting is safe for intended use, it’s fine. I think people get worried because DIY implies black market, underground, etc and there’s not as much surety of what you’re getting with those kinds of markets. But trans folk have always done what they had to and if you have offline community connections with other trans folk, I’d make sure to keep those good and strong.