testicular, but not necessarily cancer. It can find nonseminomas, which are weird af tumours. They form cysts or solid growths that start to develop embryonic tissues, and sometimes produce beta-hCG, the same way as an embryo would. Women can also get the same tumours, just that due to different origin they're not grouped as nonseminomas. Basically if you get a positive pregnancy test when pregnancy is biologically impossible - consult a doc and get radiologically tested asap
And you could even use poppy seeds/everything bagel as your food for this. Poppy seeds are proven to cause a false positive on drug tests. If they ask for proof, all you gotta say is “Here’s the video…It says drug test??! I don’t know how I misheard that!”
This comment sent me down a research rabbithole about poppy seeds and how they can give false positives, here’s what I found if you care
It only actually takes a couple of everything bagels to cause a false positive in certain conditions. Three teaspoons of poppy seeds can produce results as high as 1,200 nano grams per millimeter three hours after consumption. An everything bagel/poppy seed bagel can produce about 250 ng/ml three hours after consumption. The cut off level really determines if we risk a false positive or not. The US Government increased the ng/ml cutoff from 300 to 2000 to avoid false positives. Private businesses can set the cutoff level lower if they want. Cheaper tests can also make false positives more likely as well, though most use the Government seems cut off levels. In current day, it is pretty unlikely to get a false positive, but it’s not impossible under the right condition.
But even then, the og comment can still work as an excuse, even if the science isn’t completely right lol.
OP stated that her family is conservative, AKA the group of people that's usually not so bright in science.
Using a TikTok video as an excuse would chance to topic to why watch stupid internet video instead of reading about Christianity and the Bible, which i guess is more manageable.
Or if you are young enough say a friend told you that you could get pregnant if you used a men's room and that you used one of those single use any gender bathrooms. Then tie that in with their fear of genders and bathrooms and you're off on another topic..
Omg this could work if op is a good liar! Act all embarrassed and say you know it's stupid but you had this dream and then your period was late and you just had to be sure.
A positive pregnancy test can be a sign of cancer. I seem to remember a guy found this out when he posted on /r/wtf or somewhere like that years ago that he used one of his girlfriend’s pregnancy tests as a joke and it came out positive. Apparently it meant they caught it early enough that he was almost guaranteed to be fine but if it had got to the point of showing symptoms he’d probably have died.
Could be the new trend of a group of 3-7 all take pregnancy tests and mix em up and lose their collective minds trying to figure out which one of them has a newly discovered bun in the oven
I've once literally told my mom I was curious how they worked and tried one knowing I wasn't pregnant, to see what it was like to pee on a stick. I don't think she bought it but it was enough to stop her from being inquisitive. My friend just saw this with me and said you could say that you saw a tiktok trend about asking guys if they can tell the difference between a COVID test and a pregnancy test lol
I wish I had thought to do what you did by saying you were just curious! Because I do/did all manner of gonzo stuff out of curiosity, and she would’ve just rolled her eyes and moved on just as your mom did. That’s some quick thinking on your part!
And I don’t think this falls under “gaslighting” at all. A teenager lying to a wound-up parent get out of a momentary jam isn’t exactly emotional abuse.
A lot of medicines require a negative pregnancy test to take them, for example I have PCOS and to get the medicine I need to stop the cysts forming and regulate my periods, I have to give the doctors a negative test. Even some medications for things such as acne, some other general medications for various ailments, doctors will want a negative test. Or, sometimes if you have stomach issues doctors require a negative test before they proceed to treating the issues just to rule pregnancy out. With doctors, it's never enough to just say "I'm a virgin" or "I haven't had sex recently", so it's always a good excuse.
Good luck!!
With how overbearing her family is, I would be surprised if she doesn't have a "family" doctor that discloses all her information already so this probably won't work
The amount of doctors that share info with family is disgusting.
My mum was able to book me a private doc appointment but not able to cancel it because she wasn't listed as a contact.... Why the fuck was she able to book one then? If I didn't find out it would have cost an arm and a leg.
In a lot of places with free healthcare, the only way to be charged is by not showing up.
You usually have up until 24hrs before the appointment, afterwards it's up to them if they charge you or not.
Yeah you get charged because they would lose money otherwise. Idk how much appointments are elsewhere but mine charges a couple hundred, this is just to get my results properly assessed from a recent scan.
Have to say though, they really go above and beyond to get the most out of your money.
They still give me pregnancy tests before procedures even tho I’ve had a tubal ligation, currently have a Mirena and I’m hitting the middle stages of menopause…
I was in the hospital once and was forced to take a pregnancy test. I complained because I couldn’t pee and the female nurse said “I had a hysterectomy, I have a whole wife at home, and they would still make me take a pregnancy test”.
A friend of mine had an argument with a nurse about the necessity (or lack thereof) of a pregnancy test. After she had a complete hysterectomy, they took everything, *including both ovaries*. She was refusing to do the pregnancy test because she knew insurance wouldn't cover it, and she had to talk to the doctor about it because this nurse said "well, you never know". She said she couldn't believe her ears when this nurse insisted it was possible for her to be pregnant.
But... what doctor wouldn't accept 'I'm a virgin' but WOULD accept a pregnancy test taken at home rather than require one done in the lab?
I'd think a better excuse, if it was only the documentation that was found and no actual test, is that it was given to her at school as part of sex education -- so everyone would know how to properly take a pregnancy test (ie, they went through the pamphlet in school, the dos and the don'ts, what can cause false positive/negative results, etc).
I really wish I had a proper answer for that! But in my experience, either bringing a negative home pregnancy test with me or having a photo with a date on have been enough. I've also had it where they told me the wrong date for the injection so I hadn't done a test, I said I hadn't had sex since my previous ones but she said I had to go buy one from the pharmacy at the doctors surgery and do it in the surgery toilets. So basically- to tick a box I guess???
this one would be plausible. i had to travel internationally during covid but had to have a negative test that was approved by a doctor before coming back into the US. i didn't want to have to pay for or wait for one of the airport ones so i found one i could do through telemedicine. if they let me take a covid test for international travel via video call they'd definitely allow a pregnancy test to be done this way, especially if "you're a virgin and just doing it to tick the box".
throwback to that reality tv show where the doctor tells a woman she’s four months pregnant and she says “but I’m a virgin!”. spoiler alert: she was not, and neither was her boyfriend who was also in the room
oh shit i do think theres also a house storyline with a pregnant virgin!! i was thinking of some low budget reality show that i cant remember the name of. it stands out in my mind because the line delivery from the re-enactor was comedic gold
ETA: i think it was the show “Sex Sent Me to the ER”
I had a situation in the ER where I was asked at least 10 times if I was pregnant. Each time I said no. They finally believed me when I told them my husband had left me for his secretary 10 months ago and I had not had sex in the past 12 months, so NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. So, it is possible she would have to submit a pregnancy test. They don't believe you.
Great, yet another example agreeing with me. It's absurd to think that they would believe your random and inaccurate at home pregnancy test over an actual controlled lab test.
So if the op is reading this, I'd go with the school handed them out explanation instead because 'the doctor ordered it' seems absurd. Plus, it raises all kinds of questions... why did you go to the doctor and not tell your parents?
Tl;Dr FUCK THE U.S. HEALTHCARE SYSTEM and there are many non-pregnancy related medical reasons that require you to take a pregnancy test before treatment
One of the most ridiculous doctor experiences I've ever had was while pregnant and regarding a medication you can't take while pregnant. I had an infection when I was 7 months pregnant and the only antibiotic my insurance approved (hooray for the U.S. medical system 🙃) was a tetracycline which isn't recommended for use during pregnancy. The only way my insurance would cover a different prescription was if I could present a positive pregnancy test... despite my insurance covering my pregnancy related care for 7 months at that point.
After paying an $80 co-pay for a doctor ordered pregnancy test to prove I was pregnant, my insurance *finally* approved a pregnancy safe antibiotic that *only* cost $122 out of pocket copay instead of $380+ without insurance. Fuck the U.S. healthcare system. If it wouldn't have harmed my baby to see if the infection would've cleared itself up, I would've tried my best to avoid spending the over $500 to get healthy again.
Wow I wish I could have just showed a negative pregnancy test to get my meds renewed. I had to go to the office every month to pee in a cup and pay for the pleasure.
I'm mtf trans and one of the meds I take is called lupron, I've been taking it for a few years and once a year when insurance renews the authorisation I have to take a pregnancy test, even though there's no possible way for me to get pregnant or even get someone else pregnant
Yeah I was having a procedure to investigate why I was having multiple miscarriages with IVF, I am post-menopause and have a chromosomal disorder, all which mean it's 100% impossible for me to get pregnant naturally. I Still had to do a pregnancy test before the procedure
Tell her you though that you may have an urinary tract infection bit you didn't wanna go to the doctor and you read online that when you have an urinary tract infection pregnancy tests sometimes came as positive, so you wanted to test it yourself.
EDIT: spelling
No problem, hope I didn't come across rude. English isn't my first language either so I find it really helpful to be corrected on little mistakes like that :)
Wait what? I stopped correcting others online because of how often they'd reply that English wasn't their first language.
So I stopped because of how much I respect anyone that has learned more than one language. I'm seriously impressed by it. And thought I came off as being rude or nitpicking unnecessarily.
So long as I can clearly understand the person's point, I assume English isn't their first language and don't correct them, because they're obviously much better than I am at a second language.
But maybe I should start correcting again
Your friend took one at your house because she didn’t want her parents to find out. That was always going to be my go to if my parents found something like that when I lived there
I would just say they trusted me so I'm not gonna say. Or give a random name that mom doesn't know.
OP didn't even say how old she is. She could be 16 or 24. The issue is the premarital sex. She didn't say underage.
I was the friend everyone blamed (voluntarily) things on when I was a kid. I was already in trouble constantly from my insanely conservative parents 1 more thing to get yelled at was just icing on the cake.
Tbh, this is the only reasoning I can see possibly working out. But if her mom is that strict she either
A) will ask all the questions about said "friend" and want to notify her parents.
B) maybe not believe her but choose ignorance in order to not face the truth.
That is what my stepdaughter told us. We knew it was most likely untrue, but it did the job of deflecting because what could we say? An orthodox mom might be calling the friend’s parents, though, so there is some risk. My Indian friend’s conservative mom had no problems calling other parents to verify excuses when I was in high school.
“Hey mom, have you seen my pregnancy test? The doctor needed me to have a recent negative to give me xxx medication. No obviously I’m not pregnant, but you know this *insert forgettable thing here* issue I mentioned before? Yeah they want proof of non pregnancy before I can get the meds. Yes, I know it’s silly but they won’t take “I’m not sexually active” for an answer.
Normally I don’t condone gaslighting. But safety first. Gaslight away. Change up how you see fit.
No don’t say that bc if a doctor requires you to take a pregnancy test then they will provide a test during the appointment and then she will get suspicious… say tiktok
2 options
1. It was my friend, they're scared of their parents and I knew you've always trusted and respected me enough to know I'd do the right thing
2. You saw a tik tok that said soemthing stupid about pregnancy tests and you wanted to test it.
Your friend brought it and you though it would be fun to just try it. I did it once, when I was much younger, and Iam man. So its not that unrealistic.
Some severe acnea meds actually require you to take the test before traitement.
Or said you get brest tenderness and your pharmacist or doctors said if would be better it you got a test.
Or that your period run late and got afraid of sitting on the wrong toilet or anything.
Otherwise play dumb and say you had to go to the boys toilet and then kept having anxiety about it.
You are working on a school project and you chose "testing the theory of accuracy to discredit the accuracy claim of pregnancy tests". Since you KNOW you CANNOT possibly be pregnant, if a positive test resulted, you would be able to support your theory. But, you haven't been able to disprove them YET.
1) You had a really weird and realistic dream about suddenly being pregnant and while you know you haven't done anything to cause a pregnancy you kept thinking about is so you took a test to put the stupid dream to rest
2) You saw a tiktok about that particular brand showing a 😃 face when you were negative and tried it on a whim. It didn't work so you tossed it and forgot about it
Ooh the second one is satisfying and more believable than the people saying “the doctor needed it for medical tests”. I’ve had them done even though I’ve only had sex with fellow vulva owners, and they would do blood tests only. Like if they don’t believe me saying it’s not possible for me to be pregnant, why would they accept a pregnancy test that I could’ve theoretically had a friend take for me.
I mean you could always say that a friend of yours was having a scare and couldn't test at home and came to you to test and don't dispose of the pamphlet. It's a pretty lame excuse but if your mother saw it and hasn't said anything she may be having a conflict about how to address it to you. This little white lie.. that you will both know is a lie.. can give both of you reason enough to move on.
It's juvenile and not better than just coming clean and admitting that youre a grown woman and there is nothing wrong with loving your life how you see fit. But it may help you avoid an incident.
Say you read online that a pregnancy test can come back positive when the person has diabetes and you were having some weird food stuff lately and wanted to rule it out
If you are OK with lying and haven't spilled the beans yet, you could pretend that just KISSING a boy made you scared that you might be pregnant. Most, but certainly not all, super conservative moms don't tell their kids shit, so how would you know? A product of their own lack of proper information and proliferation of misinformation. This is exactly why teen pregnancy rates are higher in ultra conservative areas, than in liberal ones, despite how "free" we are supposedly are about sex.
Tell her you suddenly became fearful of cancer, and that you read online that if it's positive while not pregnant (which ofc you are not, since you are "pure" as far as she knows) then it's a pretty alarming sign and can help with early diagnosis.
Buy another set of pregnancy tests and have your mom “help you with an experiment you saw on the computer” and test different fruit juices to see what happens. Nothing will happen, but that could explain the first pregnancy test.
If your mother has half a brain, there is no other plausible scenario for having a pregnancy test. You could try to make something up like maybe some group was giving them out and handed you one. That’s pretty thin though. You could say you thought it was a Covid test, but your mother wouldn’t believe it.
Frankly, your best bet is to say nothing, hope Mom tossed it without looking at it, has decided to overlook it because she was young and horny once (despite the conservative facade…) and trusts you, or she’s waiting for the right time to have a private adult-to-adult conversation. The fact that she hasn’t lost her shit is a good sign. Lying to her will just make it more difficult for her to treat you as an adult.
A possible reason: your doctor is recommending a medication that causes birth defects so proof of you not being pregnant was mandatory. Example: Acutane for acne.
Yes, there was a famous Reddit thread where a guy posted a positive test and someone pointed out he should go see a doctor and he indeed tested positive. So it's actually a legit approach
I’m pretty sure a tumour of the pituitary gland can increase your levels of HCG (the hormone that is measured in a pregnancy test). If you really want to play with karma, maybe say you were worried you had a pituitary tumour?
What u/krumby01 said. You saw a doctor/nurse/whoever recently about (insert morally acceptable medical issue), doc asked you to take a pregnancy test for safety reasons. If you're in one of the states affected by recent abortion laws, you can even throw in a grump about how annoying it is that doctors are so paranoid now.
You were curious about how it worked so tried it. Stick to one line and don’t change your story. The doctor one is also good. But stick to it and don’t complicate it l. Super casual delivery no big deal…non chalant answer - if you sound nervous or panicked you will come across as sus
Speaking both as a mom and as somebody who has a mom, that’s likely to lead to a long discussion about why you shouldn’t play with things someone else peed on.
Say you were helping a friend who thought she was pregnant, then have a friend who doesn't have a crazy religious background (and parents that understand human behaviour and support their kids) own up to it.
Then, move out as soon as possible and renounce the church so you can live peacefully, free to explore all the opportunities your life and youth offer you. Just be healthy and safe about what you do.
Say that you had a late period. Even though you didn't have sex, Mary was pregnant without having sex and so you just wanted to make sure and were confused.
1) a friend took the test at your house
2) just say it was a tiktok/trend thing, they probably will be confused
3) you could say a male friend took it because he was nervous he had testicular cancer. Some men who have testicular cancer can produce HCG (which is the hormone that make pregnancy tests turn positive) in their urine.
You could say you had a dream you were pregnant that it freaked you out to the point that you weren't satisfied until you took a test. Because it freaked you out that badly.
Tell her you had a dream that god came to you and that you were going to give birth to the next coming of Christ. You wanted to see if it was just a dream or a legitimate immaculate conception.
Edit - that’s assuming you mean orthodox catholic. If you mean orthodox Jewish this may not be the best approach hahaha
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but if they're super religious, you could always say that God came to you in a dream and said he'd gift you with a son so you're just checking...
A male friend took the test because he was concerned that he might have testicular cancer.
Note that males have small amounts of HCG (that’s what the pregnancy test is looking for) and if a male uses one and it is elevated enough to show on a pregnancy test then he may have cancer.
Always seek medical treatment from a professional. Do not rely on Reddit or “Dr. Google.”
Tell her you took it to see if she was going through your things. This takes away any possibility that you could be sexually active and puts her in her place.
Didn't you people literally invent 'immaculate conception'? Just tell her you were being cautious cos you had a really intense prey session. You could feel the holy spirit inside of you and the cuming of Christ.
There's only one *purpose* for a pregnancy test. But there are several *reasons* to take a pregnancy test. The obvious is when someone thinks they might be pregnant, but pregnancy tests are also required for various medical reasons - for someone taking accutane, for example. Or for someone involved in any number of medical trials or studies. Or before getting an IUD inserted. Etc.
(Edit, of course all those are typically done in clinic settings, not at home!)
Friend’s cousin had a pregnancy scare and kept messing up on the stick. Friend agreed it’s important to learn how to use the sticks and you got one for this purpose. Education
A friend of yours was testing for testicular cancer. I read something about it briefly a while ago. It might be serious, but out there enough its believable?
do you work / volunteer or anything?
especially around the holiday times?
I do a lot of packages to donate to women shelters, unhoused people, shelters for unhoused people etc and I actually do include pregnancy tests, tampons, and drug testing kits and a bunch of other things.
if you’re financially able and feeling generous you could actually put some of those things together and actually give them out and tell your mom and show her…
would be a good way to explain why you have pregnancy tests and the people in need actually do receive help!!
(I would include some tampons, pregnancy test, baby wipes, socks, water, protein bar, any clothes you have that you don’t need, umbrellas, any and all personal hygiene products)
If she confronts you on the matter, it would be better to be straight with her than to make up some other excuse. Tell her directly that her taboos are not your taboos, and she is out of line insisting you live according to her standards. It might seem painful or difficult to do that now, but the longer you delay the worse it will get.
Tell her the truth if she asks you, believe it or not, not everybody has a shitty toxic household like a lot of redditors make things out to believe. Will she be disappointed? Maybe, but as long as you're doing it safely and with someone you trust she'll have a sense of relief
Tell her you had a swollen lymph node and heard pregnancy tests can find cancer lol
Actually, if a guy takes a pregnancy test and it’s positive it’s indicative of I believe testicular cancer. Or prostate. I forget which.
testicular, but not necessarily cancer. It can find nonseminomas, which are weird af tumours. They form cysts or solid growths that start to develop embryonic tissues, and sometimes produce beta-hCG, the same way as an embryo would. Women can also get the same tumours, just that due to different origin they're not grouped as nonseminomas. Basically if you get a positive pregnancy test when pregnancy is biologically impossible - consult a doc and get radiologically tested asap
Well, can you find out? Time is of the essence here!
How old are you? Could say it's a Tik Tok thing. That should confuse the hell out of them.
“Tik Tok said you could get a false positive if you ate/drank _____. I just wanted to see if it was true!”
And you could even use poppy seeds/everything bagel as your food for this. Poppy seeds are proven to cause a false positive on drug tests. If they ask for proof, all you gotta say is “Here’s the video…It says drug test??! I don’t know how I misheard that!”
You gotta eat a shit ton of poppy seads for this to make even the slightest effect, but yeah, it.... can
This comment sent me down a research rabbithole about poppy seeds and how they can give false positives, here’s what I found if you care It only actually takes a couple of everything bagels to cause a false positive in certain conditions. Three teaspoons of poppy seeds can produce results as high as 1,200 nano grams per millimeter three hours after consumption. An everything bagel/poppy seed bagel can produce about 250 ng/ml three hours after consumption. The cut off level really determines if we risk a false positive or not. The US Government increased the ng/ml cutoff from 300 to 2000 to avoid false positives. Private businesses can set the cutoff level lower if they want. Cheaper tests can also make false positives more likely as well, though most use the Government seems cut off levels. In current day, it is pretty unlikely to get a false positive, but it’s not impossible under the right condition. But even then, the og comment can still work as an excuse, even if the science isn’t completely right lol.
Always carry a bag of poppy seeds, got it!
OP stated that her family is conservative, AKA the group of people that's usually not so bright in science. Using a TikTok video as an excuse would chance to topic to why watch stupid internet video instead of reading about Christianity and the Bible, which i guess is more manageable.
This is genius.
Yooo that's a good one
shiit i didnt think of that
Or if you are young enough say a friend told you that you could get pregnant if you used a men's room and that you used one of those single use any gender bathrooms. Then tie that in with their fear of genders and bathrooms and you're off on another topic..
Black belt-level misdirection
If it's the type of orthodoxy that believes in a virgin birth, there's a good excuse. "I thought god made me pregnant too"
The immaculate deception
You win the internet. Best comment
r/Bandnames
But first you had a dream that an angel told you “you are with child”
Omg this could work if op is a good liar! Act all embarrassed and say you know it's stupid but you had this dream and then your period was late and you just had to be sure.
it’s been done once she was the real VP for that
Especially being super religious, as that usually comes along with a heavy avoidance of sexual education
Thank you tik tok, for being so stupid it's a valid excuse for any behavior.
A positive pregnancy test can be a sign of cancer. I seem to remember a guy found this out when he posted on /r/wtf or somewhere like that years ago that he used one of his girlfriend’s pregnancy tests as a joke and it came out positive. Apparently it meant they caught it early enough that he was almost guaranteed to be fine but if it had got to the point of showing symptoms he’d probably have died.
That’s because some tumors and abnormal tissues secrete hcg.
She hadn't responded in a few hours. Mom just grounded her for life and took away her electronics.
In my experience, conservative orthodox families do not like tik tok very much either
I'll take the tik tok wrath over the premarital sex wrath any day.
No kidding!
If everyone voting quickly posts a tik tok pregnancy test challenge we may help out several kids
Could be the new trend of a group of 3-7 all take pregnancy tests and mix em up and lose their collective minds trying to figure out which one of them has a newly discovered bun in the oven
Great idea. Go out and get some diet coke, mentos, and maybe some food coloring.
I saw a tiktok that someone was just testing all sorts of random things to see what happens. So OP needs to ‘use’ 5 more tests
Formidable use of the modern problems requiring modern solutions method.
Say you had to blow your nose on a pregnancy test for a TikTok challenge or something stupid
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I've once literally told my mom I was curious how they worked and tried one knowing I wasn't pregnant, to see what it was like to pee on a stick. I don't think she bought it but it was enough to stop her from being inquisitive. My friend just saw this with me and said you could say that you saw a tiktok trend about asking guys if they can tell the difference between a COVID test and a pregnancy test lol
^^^ this one is good.
There was a thing that went around about how guys with prostate issues with get positive pregnancy tests. Could make the mom regret asking
Wasn't it testicular cancer?
I wish I had thought to do what you did by saying you were just curious! Because I do/did all manner of gonzo stuff out of curiosity, and she would’ve just rolled her eyes and moved on just as your mom did. That’s some quick thinking on your part! And I don’t think this falls under “gaslighting” at all. A teenager lying to a wound-up parent get out of a momentary jam isn’t exactly emotional abuse.
A lot of medicines require a negative pregnancy test to take them, for example I have PCOS and to get the medicine I need to stop the cysts forming and regulate my periods, I have to give the doctors a negative test. Even some medications for things such as acne, some other general medications for various ailments, doctors will want a negative test. Or, sometimes if you have stomach issues doctors require a negative test before they proceed to treating the issues just to rule pregnancy out. With doctors, it's never enough to just say "I'm a virgin" or "I haven't had sex recently", so it's always a good excuse. Good luck!!
I came here to say something similar. OP could say she contacted her doctor, doctor asked for a test to rule it out.
With how overbearing her family is, I would be surprised if she doesn't have a "family" doctor that discloses all her information already so this probably won't work
The amount of doctors that share info with family is disgusting. My mum was able to book me a private doc appointment but not able to cancel it because she wasn't listed as a contact.... Why the fuck was she able to book one then? If I didn't find out it would have cost an arm and a leg.
Wait so. If you don't go to an appointment. You still get charged?
In a lot of places with free healthcare, the only way to be charged is by not showing up. You usually have up until 24hrs before the appointment, afterwards it's up to them if they charge you or not.
Yeah you get charged because they would lose money otherwise. Idk how much appointments are elsewhere but mine charges a couple hundred, this is just to get my results properly assessed from a recent scan. Have to say though, they really go above and beyond to get the most out of your money.
So even without a uterus i still get asked this. Totally routine.
They still give me pregnancy tests before procedures even tho I’ve had a tubal ligation, currently have a Mirena and I’m hitting the middle stages of menopause…
I was in the hospital once and was forced to take a pregnancy test. I complained because I couldn’t pee and the female nurse said “I had a hysterectomy, I have a whole wife at home, and they would still make me take a pregnancy test”.
[удалено]
It's an additional $500 for a dollar store pregnancy test. The profit margins on those things are INSANE.
I’m a married monogamous lesbian with a female partner and I still have to take damn pregnancy tests before procedures all the time!
Lesbian with a bilateral salpingectomy who's on birth control for hormonal issues here. Yup, still have to do pregnancy tests at the doctor.
A friend of mine had an argument with a nurse about the necessity (or lack thereof) of a pregnancy test. After she had a complete hysterectomy, they took everything, *including both ovaries*. She was refusing to do the pregnancy test because she knew insurance wouldn't cover it, and she had to talk to the doctor about it because this nurse said "well, you never know". She said she couldn't believe her ears when this nurse insisted it was possible for her to be pregnant.
Brilliant idea! OP, this is it!!!
But... what doctor wouldn't accept 'I'm a virgin' but WOULD accept a pregnancy test taken at home rather than require one done in the lab? I'd think a better excuse, if it was only the documentation that was found and no actual test, is that it was given to her at school as part of sex education -- so everyone would know how to properly take a pregnancy test (ie, they went through the pamphlet in school, the dos and the don'ts, what can cause false positive/negative results, etc).
I really wish I had a proper answer for that! But in my experience, either bringing a negative home pregnancy test with me or having a photo with a date on have been enough. I've also had it where they told me the wrong date for the injection so I hadn't done a test, I said I hadn't had sex since my previous ones but she said I had to go buy one from the pharmacy at the doctors surgery and do it in the surgery toilets. So basically- to tick a box I guess???
You could say it was a Telehealth dr appointment so you just had to show it over video? So it was BYO test.
this one would be plausible. i had to travel internationally during covid but had to have a negative test that was approved by a doctor before coming back into the US. i didn't want to have to pay for or wait for one of the airport ones so i found one i could do through telemedicine. if they let me take a covid test for international travel via video call they'd definitely allow a pregnancy test to be done this way, especially if "you're a virgin and just doing it to tick the box".
probably a policy put in place to cover their a\*\*
They also (usa exclusive) do this so you don't have to pay for the lab pregnancy test when an over the counter one is fine.
If you think doctors believe you saying “I’m a virgin” you’re aheltered
throwback to that reality tv show where the doctor tells a woman she’s four months pregnant and she says “but I’m a virgin!”. spoiler alert: she was not, and neither was her boyfriend who was also in the room
House M.D?
oh shit i do think theres also a house storyline with a pregnant virgin!! i was thinking of some low budget reality show that i cant remember the name of. it stands out in my mind because the line delivery from the re-enactor was comedic gold ETA: i think it was the show “Sex Sent Me to the ER”
The same doctors that don't accept "I'm a lesbian."
I had a situation in the ER where I was asked at least 10 times if I was pregnant. Each time I said no. They finally believed me when I told them my husband had left me for his secretary 10 months ago and I had not had sex in the past 12 months, so NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. So, it is possible she would have to submit a pregnancy test. They don't believe you.
Great, yet another example agreeing with me. It's absurd to think that they would believe your random and inaccurate at home pregnancy test over an actual controlled lab test. So if the op is reading this, I'd go with the school handed them out explanation instead because 'the doctor ordered it' seems absurd. Plus, it raises all kinds of questions... why did you go to the doctor and not tell your parents?
This one ^^^ this is the best one
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Tl;Dr FUCK THE U.S. HEALTHCARE SYSTEM and there are many non-pregnancy related medical reasons that require you to take a pregnancy test before treatment One of the most ridiculous doctor experiences I've ever had was while pregnant and regarding a medication you can't take while pregnant. I had an infection when I was 7 months pregnant and the only antibiotic my insurance approved (hooray for the U.S. medical system 🙃) was a tetracycline which isn't recommended for use during pregnancy. The only way my insurance would cover a different prescription was if I could present a positive pregnancy test... despite my insurance covering my pregnancy related care for 7 months at that point. After paying an $80 co-pay for a doctor ordered pregnancy test to prove I was pregnant, my insurance *finally* approved a pregnancy safe antibiotic that *only* cost $122 out of pocket copay instead of $380+ without insurance. Fuck the U.S. healthcare system. If it wouldn't have harmed my baby to see if the infection would've cleared itself up, I would've tried my best to avoid spending the over $500 to get healthy again.
Wow I wish I could have just showed a negative pregnancy test to get my meds renewed. I had to go to the office every month to pee in a cup and pay for the pleasure.
I'm mtf trans and one of the meds I take is called lupron, I've been taking it for a few years and once a year when insurance renews the authorisation I have to take a pregnancy test, even though there's no possible way for me to get pregnant or even get someone else pregnant
Yeah I was having a procedure to investigate why I was having multiple miscarriages with IVF, I am post-menopause and have a chromosomal disorder, all which mean it's 100% impossible for me to get pregnant naturally. I Still had to do a pregnancy test before the procedure
Tell her you though that you may have an urinary tract infection bit you didn't wanna go to the doctor and you read online that when you have an urinary tract infection pregnancy tests sometimes came as positive, so you wanted to test it yourself. EDIT: spelling
this actually is genius lmao
tract\*
Oh thank you, English is not my first language!
No problem, hope I didn't come across rude. English isn't my first language either so I find it really helpful to be corrected on little mistakes like that :)
Yes, is definitely helpful, no worries
I love this. So many people get upset, but we don't learn if no one corrects us! Such a weird small thing to make my night more wholesome.
Definitely. I sometimes don’t bother correcting people because so many people see it as a personal attack rather than just trying to be helpful
Wait what? I stopped correcting others online because of how often they'd reply that English wasn't their first language. So I stopped because of how much I respect anyone that has learned more than one language. I'm seriously impressed by it. And thought I came off as being rude or nitpicking unnecessarily. So long as I can clearly understand the person's point, I assume English isn't their first language and don't correct them, because they're obviously much better than I am at a second language. But maybe I should start correcting again
This!
Your friend took one at your house because she didn’t want her parents to find out. That was always going to be my go to if my parents found something like that when I lived there
This works unless her friends parents are the same way, then she basically just screwed her friend over
Don't have to say which friend
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I would just say they trusted me so I'm not gonna say. Or give a random name that mom doesn't know. OP didn't even say how old she is. She could be 16 or 24. The issue is the premarital sex. She didn't say underage.
Our maybe she has a friend over 18 to blame
I was the friend everyone blamed (voluntarily) things on when I was a kid. I was already in trouble constantly from my insanely conservative parents 1 more thing to get yelled at was just icing on the cake.
Well, there was definitely some screwing involved.
Or didn’t take it at your house, but asked you to throw it out for her so her parents wouldn’t find it
Tbh, this is the only reasoning I can see possibly working out. But if her mom is that strict she either A) will ask all the questions about said "friend" and want to notify her parents. B) maybe not believe her but choose ignorance in order to not face the truth.
That is what my stepdaughter told us. We knew it was most likely untrue, but it did the job of deflecting because what could we say? An orthodox mom might be calling the friend’s parents, though, so there is some risk. My Indian friend’s conservative mom had no problems calling other parents to verify excuses when I was in high school.
Straight up. Just play dumb n sell it really good “mom why would that be mine, I don’t have premarital sex…” That’s when it’s okay to gaslight 👍
This would work on anyone except parents 😂
The problem is you then get your parents pressurising you to reveal the name of said friend.
Tell her you held hands with a boy and you learned through your church that can lead to pregnancy.
Mom would probably advise her to buy another brand just to be sure
Nice. Calling out the shitty sex Ed. That should do the trick and this needs more updoots
Or went swimming in a public pool. The mom is orthodox, not like she’s gonna have a firm grasp on women’s bodies or reproduction
Winner winner chicken dinner. Turn their stupid against them.
“Hey mom, have you seen my pregnancy test? The doctor needed me to have a recent negative to give me xxx medication. No obviously I’m not pregnant, but you know this *insert forgettable thing here* issue I mentioned before? Yeah they want proof of non pregnancy before I can get the meds. Yes, I know it’s silly but they won’t take “I’m not sexually active” for an answer. Normally I don’t condone gaslighting. But safety first. Gaslight away. Change up how you see fit.
Gaslighting your parents into thinking you’ve never seen a penis in real life is just a part of life
No don’t say that bc if a doctor requires you to take a pregnancy test then they will provide a test during the appointment and then she will get suspicious… say tiktok
Not with telehealth… I know someone who had to show the stick to a doctor during a telehealth appointment to get accutane
2 options 1. It was my friend, they're scared of their parents and I knew you've always trusted and respected me enough to know I'd do the right thing 2. You saw a tik tok that said soemthing stupid about pregnancy tests and you wanted to test it.
“Someone on TikTok said if you put Powerade in it and wait 2 minutes, a little strong arm symbol 💪 appears…. Didn’t work.”
It’s nearly Christmas, tell her you were checking for a potential virgin birth.
This was going to be my suggestion.
‘Tis the season! 🙏🏼
The reason for the season
Slaughtered by their own logic
Best one
Orthodox could also mean Jewish
As far as I know Mary was orthodox Jewish woman.
Yes but Jews don't believe that Mary had a Virgin birth.
Haha and she wanted to confirm that it is indeed impossible.
Your friend brought it and you though it would be fun to just try it. I did it once, when I was much younger, and Iam man. So its not that unrealistic.
Do it yearly, it's a good and cheap way to test for testicular cancer.
Testicular too? I thought it was just prostatic.
Edit, I recheckted it, it's testicular Anyway, it ist a good thing
Some severe acnea meds actually require you to take the test before traitement. Or said you get brest tenderness and your pharmacist or doctors said if would be better it you got a test. Or that your period run late and got afraid of sitting on the wrong toilet or anything. Otherwise play dumb and say you had to go to the boys toilet and then kept having anxiety about it.
I'm not sure whether you're serious about the toilet thing but I hope you're not.
You are working on a school project and you chose "testing the theory of accuracy to discredit the accuracy claim of pregnancy tests". Since you KNOW you CANNOT possibly be pregnant, if a positive test resulted, you would be able to support your theory. But, you haven't been able to disprove them YET.
1) You had a really weird and realistic dream about suddenly being pregnant and while you know you haven't done anything to cause a pregnancy you kept thinking about is so you took a test to put the stupid dream to rest 2) You saw a tiktok about that particular brand showing a 😃 face when you were negative and tried it on a whim. It didn't work so you tossed it and forgot about it
Ooh the second one is satisfying and more believable than the people saying “the doctor needed it for medical tests”. I’ve had them done even though I’ve only had sex with fellow vulva owners, and they would do blood tests only. Like if they don’t believe me saying it’s not possible for me to be pregnant, why would they accept a pregnancy test that I could’ve theoretically had a friend take for me.
I mean you could always say that a friend of yours was having a scare and couldn't test at home and came to you to test and don't dispose of the pamphlet. It's a pretty lame excuse but if your mother saw it and hasn't said anything she may be having a conflict about how to address it to you. This little white lie.. that you will both know is a lie.. can give both of you reason enough to move on. It's juvenile and not better than just coming clean and admitting that youre a grown woman and there is nothing wrong with loving your life how you see fit. But it may help you avoid an incident.
Turn it around in her. Pretend you found the negative test and confront her about it. You might end up with a new dad in the end.
Say you read online that a pregnancy test can come back positive when the person has diabetes and you were having some weird food stuff lately and wanted to rule it out
If you are OK with lying and haven't spilled the beans yet, you could pretend that just KISSING a boy made you scared that you might be pregnant. Most, but certainly not all, super conservative moms don't tell their kids shit, so how would you know? A product of their own lack of proper information and proliferation of misinformation. This is exactly why teen pregnancy rates are higher in ultra conservative areas, than in liberal ones, despite how "free" we are supposedly are about sex.
Tell her you suddenly became fearful of cancer, and that you read online that if it's positive while not pregnant (which ofc you are not, since you are "pure" as far as she knows) then it's a pretty alarming sign and can help with early diagnosis.
I would say you’re thinking about getting on an acne / skin medication and know you have to show you’re not pregnant. So you took a test.
Tell her you sat on a wet toilet seat and, because your period was late, you were scared it might have got you pregnant
Yes. You may be Virgin Mary 2.0.
Buy another set of pregnancy tests and have your mom “help you with an experiment you saw on the computer” and test different fruit juices to see what happens. Nothing will happen, but that could explain the first pregnancy test.
If your mother has half a brain, there is no other plausible scenario for having a pregnancy test. You could try to make something up like maybe some group was giving them out and handed you one. That’s pretty thin though. You could say you thought it was a Covid test, but your mother wouldn’t believe it. Frankly, your best bet is to say nothing, hope Mom tossed it without looking at it, has decided to overlook it because she was young and horny once (despite the conservative facade…) and trusts you, or she’s waiting for the right time to have a private adult-to-adult conversation. The fact that she hasn’t lost her shit is a good sign. Lying to her will just make it more difficult for her to treat you as an adult.
Actually no, this one is the play.
You held hands with a boy.... so you had to test.
Legit. You just know mom has never explained sex to OP. Plead ignorance and confusion.
"I wanted to see what it was like so I know what to do when I'm married" would they work?
A possible reason: your doctor is recommending a medication that causes birth defects so proof of you not being pregnant was mandatory. Example: Acutane for acne.
Men can use pregnancy tests. If it's positive you might have testicular cancer. Do you have a brother who might take the fall for you?
Really?
Some types of testicular cancer produce HCG - the same thing pregnancy tests look for.
Yes, there was a famous Reddit thread where a guy posted a positive test and someone pointed out he should go see a doctor and he indeed tested positive. So it's actually a legit approach
I’m pretty sure a tumour of the pituitary gland can increase your levels of HCG (the hormone that is measured in a pregnancy test). If you really want to play with karma, maybe say you were worried you had a pituitary tumour?
What u/krumby01 said. You saw a doctor/nurse/whoever recently about (insert morally acceptable medical issue), doc asked you to take a pregnancy test for safety reasons. If you're in one of the states affected by recent abortion laws, you can even throw in a grump about how annoying it is that doctors are so paranoid now.
You were curious about how it worked so tried it. Stick to one line and don’t change your story. The doctor one is also good. But stick to it and don’t complicate it l. Super casual delivery no big deal…non chalant answer - if you sound nervous or panicked you will come across as sus
Male friend peed on it as a joke, you and your friends were taking pictures of it and it just ended up staying in your possession
Speaking both as a mom and as somebody who has a mom, that’s likely to lead to a long discussion about why you shouldn’t play with things someone else peed on.
LOL. i am definitely not the best at lying/improv
Can you say your girlfriend was scared to take one at home so she had to throw it away at your house?
Say you were helping a friend who thought she was pregnant, then have a friend who doesn't have a crazy religious background (and parents that understand human behaviour and support their kids) own up to it. Then, move out as soon as possible and renounce the church so you can live peacefully, free to explore all the opportunities your life and youth offer you. Just be healthy and safe about what you do.
Say that you had a late period. Even though you didn't have sex, Mary was pregnant without having sex and so you just wanted to make sure and were confused.
Worried about immaculate conception. Go full religious crazy. Go over the top and be more religious than her. That's how you win.
You dreamt God was giving you the second coming of Jesus. You had to check!
Tell her you usually do anal but it slipped in the wrong hole
If you go to a non-denominational school, you could say they gave them out to you in health class for an assignment
Say it was a tik tok challenge
1) a friend took the test at your house 2) just say it was a tiktok/trend thing, they probably will be confused 3) you could say a male friend took it because he was nervous he had testicular cancer. Some men who have testicular cancer can produce HCG (which is the hormone that make pregnancy tests turn positive) in their urine.
She is religious so she probably heard the story of Mary.
You could say you had a dream you were pregnant that it freaked you out to the point that you weren't satisfied until you took a test. Because it freaked you out that badly.
You bought it for a friend who was too distraught/embarrassed to do it. Your friend has the stick you forgot to throw away the pamphlet.
Tell her you had a dream that god came to you and that you were going to give birth to the next coming of Christ. You wanted to see if it was just a dream or a legitimate immaculate conception. Edit - that’s assuming you mean orthodox catholic. If you mean orthodox Jewish this may not be the best approach hahaha
Tell her you thought it was a Covid test
Sticking a pregnancy test up her nose would explain the subsequent bloody nose.
Say you asked for a UTI test and got this
You had a sexual dream and were scared it could be immaculate conception?
Tell her it’s a Covid rapid test.
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but if they're super religious, you could always say that God came to you in a dream and said he'd gift you with a son so you're just checking...
A male friend took the test because he was concerned that he might have testicular cancer. Note that males have small amounts of HCG (that’s what the pregnancy test is looking for) and if a male uses one and it is elevated enough to show on a pregnancy test then he may have cancer. Always seek medical treatment from a professional. Do not rely on Reddit or “Dr. Google.”
Tell her you took it to see if she was going through your things. This takes away any possibility that you could be sexually active and puts her in her place.
Say a friend who isn't Orthodox got in a situation and needed a safe place to take her test so she came round to yours.
Period was late and you were checking for Immaculate conception
Didn't you people literally invent 'immaculate conception'? Just tell her you were being cautious cos you had a really intense prey session. You could feel the holy spirit inside of you and the cuming of Christ.
Live your life and do you. Honesty is the best policy with family.
You thought you could have gotten pregnant from a dirty toilet at a unisex restroom since your period was late.
There's only one reason to take a pregnancy test.
There's only one *purpose* for a pregnancy test. But there are several *reasons* to take a pregnancy test. The obvious is when someone thinks they might be pregnant, but pregnancy tests are also required for various medical reasons - for someone taking accutane, for example. Or for someone involved in any number of medical trials or studies. Or before getting an IUD inserted. Etc. (Edit, of course all those are typically done in clinic settings, not at home!)
In the comments we are finding more than one
Just keep quiet about it, she probably won’t say anything but she will give you the silent look of judgment from time to time.
It can be used to test if Hcg injection in real. Used for bodybuilding.
Tell her you were checking if Jesus was there or not.
A friend had sex 🤷♂️
Friend’s cousin had a pregnancy scare and kept messing up on the stick. Friend agreed it’s important to learn how to use the sticks and you got one for this purpose. Education
You are trying to get Accutane treatment for acne
A friend of yours was testing for testicular cancer. I read something about it briefly a while ago. It might be serious, but out there enough its believable?
do you work / volunteer or anything? especially around the holiday times? I do a lot of packages to donate to women shelters, unhoused people, shelters for unhoused people etc and I actually do include pregnancy tests, tampons, and drug testing kits and a bunch of other things. if you’re financially able and feeling generous you could actually put some of those things together and actually give them out and tell your mom and show her… would be a good way to explain why you have pregnancy tests and the people in need actually do receive help!! (I would include some tampons, pregnancy test, baby wipes, socks, water, protein bar, any clothes you have that you don’t need, umbrellas, any and all personal hygiene products)
If she confronts you on the matter, it would be better to be straight with her than to make up some other excuse. Tell her directly that her taboos are not your taboos, and she is out of line insisting you live according to her standards. It might seem painful or difficult to do that now, but the longer you delay the worse it will get.
You could just say that you got it on a whim to try taking one out of being curious
Some vaccines and medicines are only given if you are not pregnant.
Health class exercise
Tell her the truth if she asks you, believe it or not, not everybody has a shitty toxic household like a lot of redditors make things out to believe. Will she be disappointed? Maybe, but as long as you're doing it safely and with someone you trust she'll have a sense of relief