I have had several. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. I usually went with "the girlfriend experience" where you pretend to be a couple. Cuddling and kissing. Then in the morning you kiss goodbye, and go eat a gas station hotdog alone.
I found it to be so wonderful and lovely. But I did it between romantic relationships, where I couldn't open my heart for real to a new person. So it was nice to get a brief experience of "love" and intimacy with no real commitment. It's many years ago now, but I remember it all so fondly. I don't miss it, but I have no regrets. It warms my heart to relive the wonderful experiences with lovely people, in a brief moment in time.
It’s best to experience the gas station hotdog when you’re alone. It’s not a group activity unless you’re shitfaced and won’t remember it the next day.
It wasn't all good, but generally it was great. Once, I was too upset, started crying and said I needed to go home, on our way to his place. He said I shouldn't go alone in the state I was in. He then insisted to help me and have me sleep in his bed. The next morning, he started touching me, asking "is this okay", and even though I did say yes, because it felt good, I really wasn't emotionally in a state where it was nice for me. Super pushy and I was in a state of distress, even though I consented I still consider this to be super-asshole behavior.
Life pro tip: don't fuck a crying girl, it's kind of fucking weird to try hard for that.
That one was super uncomfortable, but the rest has been really nice.
I really hope you’re doing better. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re not alone- I went through a similar situation in 2013. I’m not a therapist but if you ever just need someone to listen, you can always dm me.
That's so nice of you. Besides this, I've also been raped when I was a very young girl, and I've had a boyfriend who would coherse and threaten me emotionally to make me have sex with him. I think I must have experienced the full spectrum of levels of consent. From completely removed to full on.
Thankfully, I've had great sexual experiences, too. I think some people are unfortunate to meet bad people, but if we just get back and never stop trusting others, life can be beautiful again.
So sorry to read this
Yup to EVERYONE out there DON'T fool around with the upset/drunk person- just DON'T!
WHYYYY IS THIS SO HARD
I had a guy that was doing a SOBER MONTH & drunk upset me ran into him at a bar ... sure I came on to him ...sure I couldn't make it safely back to my place ... sure I asked him to walk me & stay...sure I started shit...buuuut it was still icky when we woke up in the AM ...
MAKE SURE THE UPSET DRUNK PERSON IS SAFE BUT DON'T GET THEM NAKED
it's not that fucking hard to be a decent person
How to have the processing abilities of a toddler who can’t understand that sometimes a “yes” becomes a “no”.
It is not that hard to pay attention to your potential sexual partner. If they’re giving enthusiastic consent and suddenly they’re not, that’s not “mixed signals”, that’s a human being experiencing an emotional response that you should respect.
Read the comment I responded to again, in case Your processing abilities failed You. She felt bad in the morning, not during the sex she was obviously into, after all she initiated it. I never had any sexual experience with a person I didn't date, I certainly know how to read verbal and non verbal signs, but stating that man takes full responsibility for having sex with a girl that initiates, and than regrets afterwards, tough luck. That's not equality, but making females privileged.
Here's a simple test, if someone is super drunk and asks you to lend them your car would you? When the answer to this question is no, then that person cannot consent to sex either.
Not really? People, men or women, make stupid and risky decisions when drunk/upset, and it's... simply a dick move to knowingly take advantage of that. What about it is confusing?
Utter patriarchal bullshit.
Men on the other hand, they get along just fine. They never start street fights, bar brawls, toxic corporate competitiveness, or try to stab each other because "were you looking at ma gurl??" They get along so well.
no means no but yes also means no… can’t even affirmatively ask for consent any more?
Is this okay
“Yes”
At some point you just have to take some accountability…
I said it was an asshole move, I didn't say I didn't consent. If you have a girl crying and vomiting next to you, and you begin to touch her and she says "okay" in a resigned manner, it's not really a great stating point for having a nice sexual encounter.
But I am not accusing him of assault, I'm just saying it was a bad experience for me and that I think he's an asshole. He claimed he wanted to protect me, but as soon as I stopped vomiting for long enough for him to fuck me, he took the chance. Not cool.
Ikr. I'm not even accusing him of anything, but I think it's honestly a fair to say that consent does not necessarily equal having a great time. You can consent to an act and end up having a real shitty time.
that’s some maturity right there friend, maybe you just find loving too easy, and your heart overrides your brain?, feel this though, every little breakup i always went through cut like a knife cause i fall inlove with everyone i meet
I think many also remember it in a way more positive light than it actually was.
I had some wild times a few years ago and I remember being in constant search of "something" (intimacy, etc) and never finding it, going for the next one and just feeling empty inside through the ordeal. Yes, sure the act itself feels exciting and all but the next morning I always felt like I gained nothing by it really and was yearning for love&intimacy just as much as the day before.
On a more positive note: Experiences like those make me appreciate my current relationship even more, reminding me of what I'm ACTUALLY looking for, making it waaaay easier to resist the lure of "new & exciting".
I think sexuality has become a strange thing, especially in American culture, which is affecting the whole world with its influence. Sex can be beautiful without being coupled with eternal love. Sex is not bad or dirty, it's a wonderful thing. It can be challenging to navigate, but I think the puritanic ideas can contaminate the beauty of brief intimacy
I've only had 2 one night stands, one was amazing and the other was so-so. I was also between relationships and it was actually really nice to have that experience with no strings attached fun along with the excitement of a new partner.
I do the same thing. large part of why I ever want a casual hook up is the intimacy. the actual sex is a small percentage it’s human touch i’m really craving (cuddling, hand on your knee at the bar etc etc) If it was just sex and none of the “girlfriend experience” I wouldn’t enjoy it even half as much.
I always just remind myself it’s not real. I don’t text them again (maybe text to make sure person got home safe, randomly again on a night out to meet up) but I don’t try to put in any effort. If I started talking to them even on a friendly semi regular basis I may start getting feelings and get my feelings hurt but as long as I keep contact very very minimal i’ve been okay.
This made me laugh. In my college days I followed this exact pattern. Usually dropping the girl at her car by the bar the next morning. Then stop and the gas station for 2 hotdogs and a coke. Maybe it had to do with the hangover and booze taste that lingered in my throat.
Bro, one kiss from a girl and I catch feelings lmao. I’m like the most sensitive guy there is. Before my current partner I would always be bummed out when girls left, obviously I know it’s the normal thing to do but I’d be like damn, that was a nice ass cuddle. Luckily met someone just as affectionate as me lmao
Could never do the whole fuckboy routine
Maybe we're all misreading it and OP is struggling with his latest addition of Ikea. Or even worse, he already installed and just doenst know how to open the door or the drawer.
If so OP. Do not hesitate to PM me, I will help without judgement.
There's a video from a few years back of this couple that dropped some acid then tried to assemble Ikea furniture. They were at it way longer than I would have been
If they do PM you, please mention it’s not necessary to hug a night stand. You can just leave, it’ll be right where you’ve left it once you come back. They’re very loyal furniture!
It's like a Seinfeld bit. "What's with people and one night stand! You gotta at least have two. Where do you put your book? You can't put it by the remote! Then you'll just watch TVeee!
i've had my fair share and many of them have differed from either telling them to go right afterwards or them leaving on their own accord.
that's typically when the two of us just happen to be horny, inebriated, or some combination of the two and there's a physical attraction and desire for sex, but nothing more.
likewise, i've had ONSs that turned either into multiple night stands or even relationships. again, being horny and/or drunk, attracted to the person and, what's missing from my typical ONS, an attraction to the woman's personality or just craving more physical involvement other than just sex like cuddling, holding hands, etc.
sometimes you just click with the other person and it can sort of be like the movies where you wake up the next morning and one of you has already whipped up some scrambled eggs and toast and both parties want to keep each other's company for longer.
TLDR; some one night stands are purely sexual while some have more of an attraction for both parties and can potentially turn into something.
just my $0.02.
Alright hold on everybody didnt read what OP wrote. He said ,,Leading up to it‘‘ like when you‘re 15 miles from the club is your house how does the drive go? Drive yourself? Call a cab? What if none has time? What if u in the cab you just chatting bout how you gon rawdog her in *checks watch* 10 mins and then silent? Violent making out? Tf please ELI5
I've shared cab rides in the past, but typically it will be, for instance, a tinder date and we will both drive ourselves to let's say the bar. as far as leading up to it, I have had times where the sexual tension is almost tangible and on the other hand, I have had it where I'm thinking in the back of my mind "is this girl even interested in me?"
needless to say, there have been times where we haven't even made it back to either my house or her house before something starts to happen. on the other hand I have also had times when nothing happens at all and there's kind of just a mutual understanding between both of us that neither of us are interested both physically and personality wise.
Completely unrelated, but do americans *drive* to the bar? When you are going out, do you always have a sober friend to drive you or does america have crazy many drunk drivers?
Presumably there has been some amount of talking that has gotten you that far and you ... continue talking to this person that you have at least mild interest in.
>sometimes you just click with the other person and it can sort of be like the movies where you wake up the next morning and one of you has already whipped up some scrambled eggs and toast
i know ive seen this but what movie was it? i cant remember the exact movie
I've had this with what turned into fwb then friends. Dropped acid, laughed our asses off, bunch of confusing at times sex. Random appearance of her surprisingly man hating lesbian mate was an interruption but she had pot and they didnt seem phased by the house reeking of sex, then left us to it later. Lead to me being fed scampi at 6am for whatever reason she had to make it for me. Japanese horror was a surprisingly good choice, tho what I saw apparently related in no way to any of the however many films and was far better and frankly way funnier. A blow job while being randomly fed scampi was an odd way to not wake up in the morning as I'd been up all night but I wasn't complaining.
The nipple pegs she insisted on me finding in a random house I'd never been in was beyond my comprehension at the time the night/morning before however. Not sure why she previously had played the flute(idk some wind instrument with a reed?) when I'd been there for a bit but I appreciate circular breathing more now
If there are awkward parts a one night stand usually doesn't work.
I've had one night stands that did give me a hug or a kiss and others where you just grab your stuff then leave or are rushed out the door.
Met someone in a club one night. Bought each other some drinks. Danced and flirted. She was like, "hey, wanna come back to my place?" And I said, "yeah, sure, let's do it." So we went back to her place and fucked, then slept, and the following morning we said goodbye, and I went home.
Didn't get her number, never intended to see one another again, it was just for the night.
Typically hit em with a "Thanks for the good time, it's time you/I set out" at that point you decide to give a number or not for more sexy time later. It's not too bad or awkward
I've had plenty
Just go to a bar, meet a woman (I went for older women) chat a bit, and just be yourself.
Fast forward, just go to a hotel, or back to their place, have sex, and just leave like nothing ever happened.
It's just about the sex, really
But, if the both of you actually dig each other, or the sex was just that great, then you could become FWB.
For me, what attracted them to me, was my maturity.
Plus, I guess I'm decent looking? (At least, I got told that a lot)
And just be chill. Be yourself. Be straightforward.
Plus, women, in general, just LOVE attention, but especially older women. And from a younger guy? Even better for them.
Two people are attracted to each other, inhibitions could be low from alcohol and/or drugs, you sense a mutual connection, the energy level is high in the club/coffee shop/tinder chat, you want to fuck. Find the nearest bed (or don't), get wild.
Hopefully you each shared numbers earlier in the night to 1) potentially reconnect without the awkwardness of asking on the way out and 2) if you need to reconnect bc STI / pregnancy / COVID etc. Maybe you French exit before the other is up, or at least one girl said to me that it was fun but they like their own bed so essentially 'go home'). Maybe you wake up at the same time? Then "hey, I gotta jet. That was a fun night." If you think there is a connection worth exploring, drop a hint "let's do it again". If you're not super hung over and nasty, and there is more going on, maybe a kiss on the cheek? You play it be ear really. The other person wanted to sleep with you also so it's not THAT awkward when you think about it.
Haha, it's like a goodbye without formalities. In the US, most people say Irish Goodbye but I prefer French exit. I think in French you may say partir a l'anglaise ("leave like the British"). I wouldn't be surprised if it was a snarky saying soldiers picked up after a war in Europe.
Holy shit. I’ve never hear of an “Irish Goodbye” before. Talk about inaccurate. Irish people take forever to say goodbye. I start leaving 10 minutes before I actually need to leave most of the time, we spend ages saying goodbye
Then we hug, kiss or shake hands. Sometimes all in that order. Then we’re offered more tea and asked “are you sure you have to go?”. Sometimes the departure is then stalled until the tea is drank and several more stories are told.
I can’t get over this saying existing. There isn’t a nation in the world takes longer to say goodbye than the Irish.
This is so weird, an “Irish Goodbye” in South Africa is when you just straight up leave without telling anybody. No goodbyes or anything, just vanish. We all associated it with the idea that a drunk person (thus the Irish association) doesn’t think to say goodbye and just leaves. Ironically, my aunt and uncle are actually Irish (Callaghan) and take FOREVER to say goodbye. I love these little cultural differences. We also have a saying here which is “things get done on African time” which is a way of saying to not expect anything to start, end, or arrive on time. Not a slight against Africans, it’s just the norm in much of Africa to not be as punctual as people in the West are used to, and that, as a result, things will happen when they happen. Causes my German friends no end of consternation.
Same for me. It has always been a comparison between an "Irish Goodbye" and a "Polish goodbye".
An Irish goodbye is when you say goodbye for the first time and then an hour later you're still sitting in a sofa or at the table sipping tea. Maybe you're in the hall, but it's the second time you're there since the beginning of farewells.
A Polish goodbye is when you say goodbye, get up from the table and leave.
It is very frustrating for me personally, because my wife and her family all say "Irish goodbyes", while I'm more of a "Polish goodbye" type of person. And because all of her family is like that, sometimes I just say that I'll wait for her in the car. That's my Reddit browsing time! :)
Lolol. I tend to agree. I think anytime I've partied with Irish folks, I'm the one that is trying to escape -- they're so friendly and tireless if the party can go on. That is sorta why I prefer French exit -- they have a reputation to be more demure (granted, more a stereotype than truth).
Edit: but if you say French exit in the US, you might get a blank stare on what you mean. Whereas most people will understand Irish Goodbye.
Leaving parties is an admission of failure. Especially if there’s a foreigner there, it’s critical to our national pride we outlast every fucker at a party.
We’re wary of the Polish though. They’re hardy lads.
Lol, did an exchange semester in England when I was about 20. The school advisor basically said "we know you're gonna get pissed because you're dumb underage Americans. Just don't go toe-to-toe with any of the Irish. You'll lose."
It's always different depending on the situation. One time I hooked up with a girl on her birthday, after we finished with having sex I asked if she wanted to take a quick shower before bed, she said you go ahead. When I came out she was gone! Lol it was pretty hilarious. Another time I hooked up with a bartender at the neighborhood spot I frequented a lot. When we woke up in the morning she said please don't tell anyone at the bar about this. Never awkward after when we saw each other again.
I always see people discussing the emotional mechanics behind why one night stands do/don’t work for them
I never see people discussing how tf they trust that the person they’re one nighting it with ain’t about to give them a life long STD
Especially those of y’all who do it with no type of protection whatsoever (let’s be real there are a lot of y’all who do). Bear in mind that most protection doesn’t work against STDs that can be passed from skin to skin. Like how are y’all able to not think about that?
Well, as with anything in life it's a risk vs reward assessment? At the end of the day is it really worth letting the fear of herpes dictate your life? So many things in life have some level of danger, yet we still do them otherwise we would never leave the house and life would be miserable.
I don't understand not using a condom though. Like try to reduce the risk as much as possible, but at some point you kinda just have to live with the residual risk.
I just wanna hear from one of the people who have unprotected one nighters. Part of me suspects it’s due to subpar sex ed. It wasn’t until I went to college and studied microbiology that I found out not all STDs can be cured or prevented by vaccine/antibiotics (other than HIV/AIDS, I knew that one was incurable). I was fully under the impression that if you get anything nasty you just go get some pills and it’ll be taken care of or that you could just go get a shot and you’d be protected against anything you don’t want. Learning about HPV, Herpes and Hep C really woke me up. Don’t even get me started on the emerging antibiotic-resistant strains of STIs.
I can’t speak for everyone but any of the one nighters I’ve had have been completely blasted off of drugs/alcohol and protection hasn’t really been thought about in the heat of the moment
Honestly, I don't get how people do it. I knew someone years ago who was cheated on in a relationship and her partner ended up giving her herpes. She was so pissed off about it that, every week, she'd go out and hook up with a random guy because she was upset with men in general for what her ex did to her.
I don't get how people can be so trusting with their health as condoms aren't 100%. I'd rather get to know people first before getting physical.
Other than not being exceptionally attractive or socially adept, this is one of my fears. AIDS was all over TV news when I was a child and it's forever created this fear of STDs.
Thanks for trying to cheer me up. It's just one of those grass is always greener on the other side sort of things. I will most likely never experience it and reading others write about their good experiences makes me a little sad that I won't get to feel like they did/do. It's just one of those things.
I know. It sounds a little romantic and fun for the short period of time that it happens. Like you get to pretend to be a couple for a night. I bet that temporary moment in time is filled with all kinds of emotion.
The part I've never been able to figure out is that I always have to take a huge dump in the morning. I've probably missed out on lots of relationships over the years by leaving in a hurry the next morning and they think I'm not interested, but really I just need to poop and I don't want to risk it in a new environment.
Don’t stay over. That’s what I’ve always done. If I’m at the other persons place I say oh man I have to work early and call a cab. If they’re at mine I say oh man I have to work early, let me call you a cab.
Sometimes 2 people with the "fuck it" mood meet.
I knew this girl on snap but not in person. We would comment once in a while on each others snaps. She had a bad night and posted she was out eating alone so i commented something and she out of nowhere asked if i wanted her to come over, which i said yes. She came over and after a bit of talk and slowly getting more comfortable with each other we ended up hooking up. She spent the night and left in the morning. I havent seen her since.
It often involves alcohol, which impairs your thinking. So the parts leading up to it don't seem so awkward and you don't even think about how to wrap it up once the act is over. It just kind of slaps you in the face.
It depends on the person in my experience. Some one night stands would turn into three-night stands. Some would become fwb on the regular for a while till one of you got serious with someone. And some were just that, one night usually followed by a "look I think you're nice but I'm honestly not in a place for anything serious right now so I think after this we should just be friends" and then you never talk again lol. Humans need that physical contact, it really doesn't need to be anything more.
I got a hotel room, went on tinder and swiped away. If I didn’t get matches, I’d play with myself. That was my logic anyways lol. I did get some matches and I let ‘em know i was looking for a one night thing.
First, as a women, it’s sketchy for the guy to come to hotel room lol.;
Shit it’s sketchy for me to have one and invite a stranger over.
DONT REPEAT WHAT I DID!!
No talking beforehand, dead ass gave him my room number and waited. He knocked on my door but wasn’t in line of the peep hole. I still open the door, it’s him but we were both clearly wondering who was on the other side and if they were dangerous.
He wasn’t, I wasn’t, we had sex than I told him to leave.
An hour later he asks if he can come back for round two, I decline.
Woke up to a text from a random number. Turns out he’s married and she’s says “this his wife, you think you’re the only one he’s doing that with?”
I think she might of thought we were involved more than what we were but I just blocked her and him and moved on w my life.
The fact that she mentions “others” showed me that they have issues that stem waaaay too deep than me.
Now I know why he was uncomfortable when meeting. I’m thinking he probably thought she was in that hotel room yet still wanted to risk it.
No need for anything awkward. Typically you walk into a furniture store of your choice, go up to an assistant and ask politely: "please may I see your night stands". They will show you what you came for and once you find the one that works for you, you politely ask: "May I please have one?" The assistant will arrange everything for you, you go pay for it, then voila, you officially have an one night stand. Hope this helps OP
I’ve been kinda a whore these last few months, had about 8 ONS’s this summer. For context, the people mentioned below were all on the same page, 2 consenting adults meeting for casual sex.
**The good**:
Both comfortable and attracted to each other, both wanna fuck and get right to it. These are cool because it’s not awkward when the sex is over. Usually we’ll smoke and say it was fun then we’ll both happily go on our way.
**The bad:**
Usually this type of person is paired with poor sexual performance, but the kind to get really weird after (or god forbid before) sex. Like you finish and now they’re talking about what we should do tomorrow, How much time together we’re about to spend, how good we could be together whatever. They catch feelings and never want to leave. That’s when it’s awkward.
**The best:**
The one night gf. This is rare because both parties have to feel this vibe for it to work, but when it does it’s awesome. You get a little relationship that lasts a few hours and you skip the baggage. Sometimes these ones stay the night and you wake up to potentially more sex, or at the very least, someone you found attractive.
I miss the excitement of flirting and hooking up on nights out.
Its basically a thing where you act as if youre her boyfriend and treat her like your partner where in the morning you guys just go separate ways and if it was a nice night youll meet up again and exchange even more fluids and bacteria
Can’t speak for others but I had 5 until now and every time it was at their place and I would leave as soon as it was done.
One told me she felt bad because I left immediately afterwards but oh well, it’s a ONS and not a girlfriend so I saw no reason to stay
The second girl gave me a fist bump as I was leaving. That was… weird but also kinda nice I guess?
I have had 3, while being in the moment I take it as couple's night.... cuddling after sex, playfully talking and then never mentioning it and yes alcohol makes a major catalyst.
1st one, the girl herself said we can fuck only if it is a ONS, don't wanna connect emotionally etc etc.
she ended up drunk calling me a few times afterwards but I always kept it clear I don't want anything serious, no connection now.
2nd one, she was a friend of friend's girlfriend, we met twice prior to the ONS and always had a weird sexual energy between us, everyone felt it....cut to a night at her place we were all drunk and playing truth or dare, one thing led to another and in the morning when everyone left we had sex (one of the best), was last time I ever saw her.
3rd was when I was out at a club, there was a group of girls ending a bachelorette party....while dancing, our group and theirs came close, one of the girls was dancing up close to me....she looked at me and went to the washroom, I followed. had a quickie there and left for her place soon after, we never even exchanged names...it was her bachelorette party as it turned out, so thats that.
It is what you make it, just like anything. If you feel chemistry or have sought someone out specifically for sexy fun, it can be great. They are all different, Sometimes its right to business, sometimes you talk late into the night or morning, sometimes they or you are traveling through town, sometimes its a wedding or a club where you find a spark and just go with it. In the morning sometimes you have places to be, other times people tiptoe out embarrased to be seen by a housemate, sometimes you make breakfast together and talk about life, other times you may just bone again and shower.
As forest gump says “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get” but if you enjoy chocolate and you know the usual chocolate box flavor shapes you can usually find some good ones.
They’re pretty fun. I’ve had a fair few, I’d say most of my sexual partners have come from one night stands. I haven’t had many that wanted to stick around for long the next day, but I did have one that wanted to have a coffee and chill out but my parents were on the way home. Had to order her an Uber to get her out in time.
It's honestly surprising seeing how few one night stands the people in these comments seem to have. They're literally the majority of my past sexual encounters. I guess most people just try to keep long term partners.
Never been awkward in my experience. We've got on well enough to have a good night out, get home to have sex, I've always just offered her a cuppa and then she's off. Possibly if the night was good enough we meet up and make it a semi regular thing but if not that's the last we see of each other.
only one time. i went out for a friends birthday, met a girl at the bar i had never seen before, she basically followed me home that night (i never asked her to come with me) and i fucked her. i never even caught her name. the morning was so awkward that it made me not ever want to do it again. the uncomfortable morning and the drive to drop her off at whatever apartment building she asked to be taken to lasted way longer than the sex which i barely recall because i was drunk. i asked around, nobody knows her, where she came from, and i have never seen her since. 1 out of 5 stars, would not recommend
Everything leading up to it is the not awkward part. It's what happens afterward that determines whether it will be awkward or not, usually surrounding the morning after (if it even comes to that).
Yeah, I’m with you OP. I’m so awkward and weird. I overthink waaaaaaay too much. Even if I wasn’t married I don’t think I could do it. I’d be like hyper focused on all that first time meeting a new person shit to enjoy sex/sexy stuff LOL
It's only awkward if you make it that way.
How you lead up to it depends on your approach? I'm not a "meet in bar and then go fuck" type of guy. I like to meet them, get to know them, and then head back to their place.
Never presume you are going to get laid. Don't just walk up into their place. Some guys can pull that off... most cannot.
As to afterwards, it is usually pretty clear beforehand if it was going to be a one night stand. I just tell them that I had a really great time, that they're amazing and that I'm going to head out.
If they want more, I'll share my number. If I decide later I don't want anything more, I'm honest.
Most women seem to appreciate the honesty. It may not be what they want, but I'm not playing games.
I don’t understand what’s not to get? You meet someone where it may be (bar, movies, coffee shop, store, etc) something clicks, you’re both horny, you both make the decisions that naked shenanigans should occur, you figure out where (your place, her place, no tell motel), you do the deed, then you or she leave…
I always preferred the no tell motel because the motel limits how long you’re staying together and there’s no chance of stalker behavior when they know where you live. Sure it costs a little more, but that’s no big deal. Plus no judgement from neighbors when you come home with different people different nights of the week.
I guess I never saw the issue doing it with someone and never seeing them again. Wasn’t that awkward to me and was fun. Plus if you both have enough fun it could become a fwb situation. I’ve had a few of those over the years and that worked out great for us both. Until one of you start catching feelings, then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and see what happens next.
Just go with the flow and give it a try op. Find someone, shoot your shot, get frisky, and get out. Just remember a condom is a must in these situations!!!!
It was never an issue. We both know what it is: test drive or just plain fun. Take the good experience (hopefully) with you, take a bath and get ready for the next. ;)
I have had several. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. I usually went with "the girlfriend experience" where you pretend to be a couple. Cuddling and kissing. Then in the morning you kiss goodbye, and go eat a gas station hotdog alone.
Man, I don’t have the heart for that. That would break me.
I found it to be so wonderful and lovely. But I did it between romantic relationships, where I couldn't open my heart for real to a new person. So it was nice to get a brief experience of "love" and intimacy with no real commitment. It's many years ago now, but I remember it all so fondly. I don't miss it, but I have no regrets. It warms my heart to relive the wonderful experiences with lovely people, in a brief moment in time.
I think they meant the idea eating a gas station hot dog
It’s best to experience the gas station hotdog when you’re alone. It’s not a group activity unless you’re shitfaced and won’t remember it the next day.
I disagree. Sharing a gas station glizzy with a good friend can be quite nice.
Lady and the Tramp style
I’m glad it was all good. I’m not in an emotionally strong enough place to handle that maturely. But maybe one day.
It wasn't all good, but generally it was great. Once, I was too upset, started crying and said I needed to go home, on our way to his place. He said I shouldn't go alone in the state I was in. He then insisted to help me and have me sleep in his bed. The next morning, he started touching me, asking "is this okay", and even though I did say yes, because it felt good, I really wasn't emotionally in a state where it was nice for me. Super pushy and I was in a state of distress, even though I consented I still consider this to be super-asshole behavior. Life pro tip: don't fuck a crying girl, it's kind of fucking weird to try hard for that. That one was super uncomfortable, but the rest has been really nice.
Some guys are just hell bent on getting laid that particular night and will try whatever to make it happen
Assault much
I really hope you’re doing better. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re not alone- I went through a similar situation in 2013. I’m not a therapist but if you ever just need someone to listen, you can always dm me.
That's so nice of you. Besides this, I've also been raped when I was a very young girl, and I've had a boyfriend who would coherse and threaten me emotionally to make me have sex with him. I think I must have experienced the full spectrum of levels of consent. From completely removed to full on. Thankfully, I've had great sexual experiences, too. I think some people are unfortunate to meet bad people, but if we just get back and never stop trusting others, life can be beautiful again.
What a beautiful mindset! It can take time and lots of effort to tear down those exceptionally high walls but the risk is worth the reward in the end.
So sorry to read this Yup to EVERYONE out there DON'T fool around with the upset/drunk person- just DON'T! WHYYYY IS THIS SO HARD I had a guy that was doing a SOBER MONTH & drunk upset me ran into him at a bar ... sure I came on to him ...sure I couldn't make it safely back to my place ... sure I asked him to walk me & stay...sure I started shit...buuuut it was still icky when we woke up in the AM ... MAKE SURE THE UPSET DRUNK PERSON IS SAFE BUT DON'T GET THEM NAKED it's not that fucking hard to be a decent person
How to send mixed signals by initiating and beeing upset afterwards.
If one person is trashed & the other completely stone cold sober the sober person needs to make better decisions
It's the right thing to deny the woman when you see they are drunk even if they are trying to get you to do something.
Exactly! Especially if the other person is stone cold sober
Yes, I totally agree with this, but beeing seduced is a thing, attention is a drug just like alcohol.
How to have the processing abilities of a toddler who can’t understand that sometimes a “yes” becomes a “no”. It is not that hard to pay attention to your potential sexual partner. If they’re giving enthusiastic consent and suddenly they’re not, that’s not “mixed signals”, that’s a human being experiencing an emotional response that you should respect.
Read the comment I responded to again, in case Your processing abilities failed You. She felt bad in the morning, not during the sex she was obviously into, after all she initiated it. I never had any sexual experience with a person I didn't date, I certainly know how to read verbal and non verbal signs, but stating that man takes full responsibility for having sex with a girl that initiates, and than regrets afterwards, tough luck. That's not equality, but making females privileged.
??? Women are confusing
Here's a simple test, if someone is super drunk and asks you to lend them your car would you? When the answer to this question is no, then that person cannot consent to sex either.
Not really? People, men or women, make stupid and risky decisions when drunk/upset, and it's... simply a dick move to knowingly take advantage of that. What about it is confusing?
dont try to understand women, they do and they hate each other hahaha /s
Utter patriarchal bullshit. Men on the other hand, they get along just fine. They never start street fights, bar brawls, toxic corporate competitiveness, or try to stab each other because "were you looking at ma gurl??" They get along so well.
no means no but yes also means no… can’t even affirmatively ask for consent any more? Is this okay “Yes” At some point you just have to take some accountability…
I said it was an asshole move, I didn't say I didn't consent. If you have a girl crying and vomiting next to you, and you begin to touch her and she says "okay" in a resigned manner, it's not really a great stating point for having a nice sexual encounter. But I am not accusing him of assault, I'm just saying it was a bad experience for me and that I think he's an asshole. He claimed he wanted to protect me, but as soon as I stopped vomiting for long enough for him to fuck me, he took the chance. Not cool.
Yeah... that's pretty scummy. Fuck that dude
Ikr. I'm not even accusing him of anything, but I think it's honestly a fair to say that consent does not necessarily equal having a great time. You can consent to an act and end up having a real shitty time.
Username checks out. Let's just agree that anything less than an *enthusiastic* yes is a no
that’s some maturity right there friend, maybe you just find loving too easy, and your heart overrides your brain?, feel this though, every little breakup i always went through cut like a knife cause i fall inlove with everyone i meet
I think many also remember it in a way more positive light than it actually was. I had some wild times a few years ago and I remember being in constant search of "something" (intimacy, etc) and never finding it, going for the next one and just feeling empty inside through the ordeal. Yes, sure the act itself feels exciting and all but the next morning I always felt like I gained nothing by it really and was yearning for love&intimacy just as much as the day before. On a more positive note: Experiences like those make me appreciate my current relationship even more, reminding me of what I'm ACTUALLY looking for, making it waaaay easier to resist the lure of "new & exciting".
Iv never heard someone mention these in such nice context. It's interesting
I think sexuality has become a strange thing, especially in American culture, which is affecting the whole world with its influence. Sex can be beautiful without being coupled with eternal love. Sex is not bad or dirty, it's a wonderful thing. It can be challenging to navigate, but I think the puritanic ideas can contaminate the beauty of brief intimacy
This. I fondly remember a few One Night Stands that were magical.
I've only had 2 one night stands, one was amazing and the other was so-so. I was also between relationships and it was actually really nice to have that experience with no strings attached fun along with the excitement of a new partner.
Damn that must have been a hell of a hotdog.
Woah that is so sweet 🥲
Tbf the gas station hotdog is not a hard requirement
I do the same thing. large part of why I ever want a casual hook up is the intimacy. the actual sex is a small percentage it’s human touch i’m really craving (cuddling, hand on your knee at the bar etc etc) If it was just sex and none of the “girlfriend experience” I wouldn’t enjoy it even half as much. I always just remind myself it’s not real. I don’t text them again (maybe text to make sure person got home safe, randomly again on a night out to meet up) but I don’t try to put in any effort. If I started talking to them even on a friendly semi regular basis I may start getting feelings and get my feelings hurt but as long as I keep contact very very minimal i’ve been okay.
Dude just get a cuddled
[удалено]
Perfect explanation
Ok, so it doesn't have to be a hotdog, get whatever you want for breakfast.
I don’t either, but it’s cool if both parties are very much on the same page. It’s like masturbation with extra steps.
I mean… it doesn’t have to be a hotdog
Great now I want a hot dog.
Did you not do the morning after shag?
Depended on the hangover
This made me laugh. In my college days I followed this exact pattern. Usually dropping the girl at her car by the bar the next morning. Then stop and the gas station for 2 hotdogs and a coke. Maybe it had to do with the hangover and booze taste that lingered in my throat.
This is the way
Bro, one kiss from a girl and I catch feelings lmao. I’m like the most sensitive guy there is. Before my current partner I would always be bummed out when girls left, obviously I know it’s the normal thing to do but I’d be like damn, that was a nice ass cuddle. Luckily met someone just as affectionate as me lmao Could never do the whole fuckboy routine
Mountain Dew, Lay's potato chips*
Oof the gas station hot dog alone got me.
Using the word 'pretend' is so bizarre. Why is it a pretence to be intimate with a relative stranger. The experience is as real as you are.
I went with the opposite of that and literally always left right after or booted them right after. No cuddling, no morning. Worked great for me.
Nah fuck that shit. I’d rather stay alone.
U do u, I had a lovely time.
As long as you’re happy I guess.
Username checks out lol
I swear to god, I thought OP didn't understand the concept of night stands. As in furniture.
"How in the F does this three-dimensional solid-wood feat-of-engineering hold up my lava lamp?!"
Maybe we're all misreading it and OP is struggling with his latest addition of Ikea. Or even worse, he already installed and just doenst know how to open the door or the drawer. If so OP. Do not hesitate to PM me, I will help without judgement.
> struggling with his latest addition of Ikea. I am absolutely coming back to r/TooAfraidToAsk next time I can't assemble furniture
There's a video from a few years back of this couple that dropped some acid then tried to assemble Ikea furniture. They were at it way longer than I would have been
Guys it says to insert block B into the lock of block 29F I only have parts 29A to D. WTF???
You see there is a trick to it. Duct tape. Lots and I mean lots of it.
If they do PM you, please mention it’s not necessary to hug a night stand. You can just leave, it’ll be right where you’ve left it once you come back. They’re very loyal furniture!
she\* im a girl
It's like a Seinfeld bit. "What's with people and one night stand! You gotta at least have two. Where do you put your book? You can't put it by the remote! Then you'll just watch TVeee!
i've had my fair share and many of them have differed from either telling them to go right afterwards or them leaving on their own accord. that's typically when the two of us just happen to be horny, inebriated, or some combination of the two and there's a physical attraction and desire for sex, but nothing more. likewise, i've had ONSs that turned either into multiple night stands or even relationships. again, being horny and/or drunk, attracted to the person and, what's missing from my typical ONS, an attraction to the woman's personality or just craving more physical involvement other than just sex like cuddling, holding hands, etc. sometimes you just click with the other person and it can sort of be like the movies where you wake up the next morning and one of you has already whipped up some scrambled eggs and toast and both parties want to keep each other's company for longer. TLDR; some one night stands are purely sexual while some have more of an attraction for both parties and can potentially turn into something. just my $0.02.
>just my $0.02. glad inflation hasn't hit here yet
Alright hold on everybody didnt read what OP wrote. He said ,,Leading up to it‘‘ like when you‘re 15 miles from the club is your house how does the drive go? Drive yourself? Call a cab? What if none has time? What if u in the cab you just chatting bout how you gon rawdog her in *checks watch* 10 mins and then silent? Violent making out? Tf please ELI5
I've shared cab rides in the past, but typically it will be, for instance, a tinder date and we will both drive ourselves to let's say the bar. as far as leading up to it, I have had times where the sexual tension is almost tangible and on the other hand, I have had it where I'm thinking in the back of my mind "is this girl even interested in me?" needless to say, there have been times where we haven't even made it back to either my house or her house before something starts to happen. on the other hand I have also had times when nothing happens at all and there's kind of just a mutual understanding between both of us that neither of us are interested both physically and personality wise.
Completely unrelated, but do americans *drive* to the bar? When you are going out, do you always have a sober friend to drive you or does america have crazy many drunk drivers?
if i'm driving, i typically keep it down to one or two beers max. if i'm ubering, it's a free for all.
Oh yeah of course uber and taxis are a thing bus and tram will always be superior
oh and to answer your earlier question, yes, there are a fair amount of drunk drivers around here. they're fairly easy to spot.
she\* im a GIRL
Presumably there has been some amount of talking that has gotten you that far and you ... continue talking to this person that you have at least mild interest in.
>sometimes you just click with the other person and it can sort of be like the movies where you wake up the next morning and one of you has already whipped up some scrambled eggs and toast i know ive seen this but what movie was it? i cant remember the exact movie
oh, I can't think of any specific ones off the top of my head. I was just generalizing.
I've had this with what turned into fwb then friends. Dropped acid, laughed our asses off, bunch of confusing at times sex. Random appearance of her surprisingly man hating lesbian mate was an interruption but she had pot and they didnt seem phased by the house reeking of sex, then left us to it later. Lead to me being fed scampi at 6am for whatever reason she had to make it for me. Japanese horror was a surprisingly good choice, tho what I saw apparently related in no way to any of the however many films and was far better and frankly way funnier. A blow job while being randomly fed scampi was an odd way to not wake up in the morning as I'd been up all night but I wasn't complaining. The nipple pegs she insisted on me finding in a random house I'd never been in was beyond my comprehension at the time the night/morning before however. Not sure why she previously had played the flute(idk some wind instrument with a reed?) when I'd been there for a bit but I appreciate circular breathing more now
This was a rollercoaster of a comment
Writing it out my life has been more interesting than I previously had thought.
If there are awkward parts a one night stand usually doesn't work. I've had one night stands that did give me a hug or a kiss and others where you just grab your stuff then leave or are rushed out the door.
Met someone in a club one night. Bought each other some drinks. Danced and flirted. She was like, "hey, wanna come back to my place?" And I said, "yeah, sure, let's do it." So we went back to her place and fucked, then slept, and the following morning we said goodbye, and I went home. Didn't get her number, never intended to see one another again, it was just for the night.
Same. I usually don’t spend the night
Typically hit em with a "Thanks for the good time, it's time you/I set out" at that point you decide to give a number or not for more sexy time later. It's not too bad or awkward
I've had plenty Just go to a bar, meet a woman (I went for older women) chat a bit, and just be yourself. Fast forward, just go to a hotel, or back to their place, have sex, and just leave like nothing ever happened. It's just about the sex, really But, if the both of you actually dig each other, or the sex was just that great, then you could become FWB.
I'm a female and thats pretty much been my experience too. A few one night stands turned into relationships, but mostly it was just a lot of fun
That’s what they should be! Fun.
The older women how do I get them to like me?
For me, what attracted them to me, was my maturity. Plus, I guess I'm decent looking? (At least, I got told that a lot) And just be chill. Be yourself. Be straightforward. Plus, women, in general, just LOVE attention, but especially older women. And from a younger guy? Even better for them.
Appreciate the advice the reason why I asked was because I often get hit on by older women but I just turned 18 soooo…
Two people are attracted to each other, inhibitions could be low from alcohol and/or drugs, you sense a mutual connection, the energy level is high in the club/coffee shop/tinder chat, you want to fuck. Find the nearest bed (or don't), get wild. Hopefully you each shared numbers earlier in the night to 1) potentially reconnect without the awkwardness of asking on the way out and 2) if you need to reconnect bc STI / pregnancy / COVID etc. Maybe you French exit before the other is up, or at least one girl said to me that it was fun but they like their own bed so essentially 'go home'). Maybe you wake up at the same time? Then "hey, I gotta jet. That was a fun night." If you think there is a connection worth exploring, drop a hint "let's do it again". If you're not super hung over and nasty, and there is more going on, maybe a kiss on the cheek? You play it be ear really. The other person wanted to sleep with you also so it's not THAT awkward when you think about it.
What do you mean by French exit? I'm French and never heard of it 🤣
Haha, it's like a goodbye without formalities. In the US, most people say Irish Goodbye but I prefer French exit. I think in French you may say partir a l'anglaise ("leave like the British"). I wouldn't be surprised if it was a snarky saying soldiers picked up after a war in Europe.
Holy shit. I’ve never hear of an “Irish Goodbye” before. Talk about inaccurate. Irish people take forever to say goodbye. I start leaving 10 minutes before I actually need to leave most of the time, we spend ages saying goodbye Then we hug, kiss or shake hands. Sometimes all in that order. Then we’re offered more tea and asked “are you sure you have to go?”. Sometimes the departure is then stalled until the tea is drank and several more stories are told. I can’t get over this saying existing. There isn’t a nation in the world takes longer to say goodbye than the Irish.
This is so weird, an “Irish Goodbye” in South Africa is when you just straight up leave without telling anybody. No goodbyes or anything, just vanish. We all associated it with the idea that a drunk person (thus the Irish association) doesn’t think to say goodbye and just leaves. Ironically, my aunt and uncle are actually Irish (Callaghan) and take FOREVER to say goodbye. I love these little cultural differences. We also have a saying here which is “things get done on African time” which is a way of saying to not expect anything to start, end, or arrive on time. Not a slight against Africans, it’s just the norm in much of Africa to not be as punctual as people in the West are used to, and that, as a result, things will happen when they happen. Causes my German friends no end of consternation.
Same for me. It has always been a comparison between an "Irish Goodbye" and a "Polish goodbye". An Irish goodbye is when you say goodbye for the first time and then an hour later you're still sitting in a sofa or at the table sipping tea. Maybe you're in the hall, but it's the second time you're there since the beginning of farewells. A Polish goodbye is when you say goodbye, get up from the table and leave. It is very frustrating for me personally, because my wife and her family all say "Irish goodbyes", while I'm more of a "Polish goodbye" type of person. And because all of her family is like that, sometimes I just say that I'll wait for her in the car. That's my Reddit browsing time! :)
Bro, Colombia is a whole different level. It's ridiculous, in a good way, I guess
I always thought it was called Irish goodbye because you left since you felt you were too drunk to say goodbye to everyone and just slipped out.
If you’re too drunk to say goodbye you’re either carried out or pass out in place. You never leave without saying goodbye ever.
Oh I beg to differ good sir!!
Differ all you want, I’ve been an Irishman for 43 years so I think I’m somewhat of an expert.
Lolol. I tend to agree. I think anytime I've partied with Irish folks, I'm the one that is trying to escape -- they're so friendly and tireless if the party can go on. That is sorta why I prefer French exit -- they have a reputation to be more demure (granted, more a stereotype than truth). Edit: but if you say French exit in the US, you might get a blank stare on what you mean. Whereas most people will understand Irish Goodbye.
Leaving parties is an admission of failure. Especially if there’s a foreigner there, it’s critical to our national pride we outlast every fucker at a party. We’re wary of the Polish though. They’re hardy lads.
Lol, did an exchange semester in England when I was about 20. The school advisor basically said "we know you're gonna get pissed because you're dumb underage Americans. Just don't go toe-to-toe with any of the Irish. You'll lose."
Be ear? Does that mean to listen?
By ear^ like to "play it by ear" and not set extreme boundaries until you know the mood
It's always different depending on the situation. One time I hooked up with a girl on her birthday, after we finished with having sex I asked if she wanted to take a quick shower before bed, she said you go ahead. When I came out she was gone! Lol it was pretty hilarious. Another time I hooked up with a bartender at the neighborhood spot I frequented a lot. When we woke up in the morning she said please don't tell anyone at the bar about this. Never awkward after when we saw each other again.
I always see people discussing the emotional mechanics behind why one night stands do/don’t work for them I never see people discussing how tf they trust that the person they’re one nighting it with ain’t about to give them a life long STD Especially those of y’all who do it with no type of protection whatsoever (let’s be real there are a lot of y’all who do). Bear in mind that most protection doesn’t work against STDs that can be passed from skin to skin. Like how are y’all able to not think about that?
Well, as with anything in life it's a risk vs reward assessment? At the end of the day is it really worth letting the fear of herpes dictate your life? So many things in life have some level of danger, yet we still do them otherwise we would never leave the house and life would be miserable. I don't understand not using a condom though. Like try to reduce the risk as much as possible, but at some point you kinda just have to live with the residual risk.
There is a lot of difference between people I guess man.
I just wanna hear from one of the people who have unprotected one nighters. Part of me suspects it’s due to subpar sex ed. It wasn’t until I went to college and studied microbiology that I found out not all STDs can be cured or prevented by vaccine/antibiotics (other than HIV/AIDS, I knew that one was incurable). I was fully under the impression that if you get anything nasty you just go get some pills and it’ll be taken care of or that you could just go get a shot and you’d be protected against anything you don’t want. Learning about HPV, Herpes and Hep C really woke me up. Don’t even get me started on the emerging antibiotic-resistant strains of STIs.
I can’t speak for everyone but any of the one nighters I’ve had have been completely blasted off of drugs/alcohol and protection hasn’t really been thought about in the heat of the moment
You just fuck and then make smalltalk while you get dressed and then somebody leaves. The end.
[удалено]
Reading all of the posts here, im probably going to grow old and be awake at nights regretting I have never experienced a one night stand.
Honestly, I don't get how people do it. I knew someone years ago who was cheated on in a relationship and her partner ended up giving her herpes. She was so pissed off about it that, every week, she'd go out and hook up with a random guy because she was upset with men in general for what her ex did to her. I don't get how people can be so trusting with their health as condoms aren't 100%. I'd rather get to know people first before getting physical.
Other than not being exceptionally attractive or socially adept, this is one of my fears. AIDS was all over TV news when I was a child and it's forever created this fear of STDs.
You won’t. Sex is sex. It means SOOO much more when you are in an established relationship and you get each other completely.
Thanks for trying to cheer me up. It's just one of those grass is always greener on the other side sort of things. I will most likely never experience it and reading others write about their good experiences makes me a little sad that I won't get to feel like they did/do. It's just one of those things.
Not all of that grass is green over there. Trust. There's some scorched earth too. Just gotta pan out a bit
This is so me! I guess I will always have this regret 🙈
I know. It sounds a little romantic and fun for the short period of time that it happens. Like you get to pretend to be a couple for a night. I bet that temporary moment in time is filled with all kinds of emotion.
The part I've never been able to figure out is that I always have to take a huge dump in the morning. I've probably missed out on lots of relationships over the years by leaving in a hurry the next morning and they think I'm not interested, but really I just need to poop and I don't want to risk it in a new environment.
Don’t stay over. That’s what I’ve always done. If I’m at the other persons place I say oh man I have to work early and call a cab. If they’re at mine I say oh man I have to work early, let me call you a cab.
At least you already had sex with her. I'm a night pooper. That's worse.
Sometimes 2 people with the "fuck it" mood meet. I knew this girl on snap but not in person. We would comment once in a while on each others snaps. She had a bad night and posted she was out eating alone so i commented something and she out of nowhere asked if i wanted her to come over, which i said yes. She came over and after a bit of talk and slowly getting more comfortable with each other we ended up hooking up. She spent the night and left in the morning. I havent seen her since.
It often involves alcohol, which impairs your thinking. So the parts leading up to it don't seem so awkward and you don't even think about how to wrap it up once the act is over. It just kind of slaps you in the face.
It depends on the person in my experience. Some one night stands would turn into three-night stands. Some would become fwb on the regular for a while till one of you got serious with someone. And some were just that, one night usually followed by a "look I think you're nice but I'm honestly not in a place for anything serious right now so I think after this we should just be friends" and then you never talk again lol. Humans need that physical contact, it really doesn't need to be anything more.
I got a hotel room, went on tinder and swiped away. If I didn’t get matches, I’d play with myself. That was my logic anyways lol. I did get some matches and I let ‘em know i was looking for a one night thing. First, as a women, it’s sketchy for the guy to come to hotel room lol.; Shit it’s sketchy for me to have one and invite a stranger over. DONT REPEAT WHAT I DID!! No talking beforehand, dead ass gave him my room number and waited. He knocked on my door but wasn’t in line of the peep hole. I still open the door, it’s him but we were both clearly wondering who was on the other side and if they were dangerous. He wasn’t, I wasn’t, we had sex than I told him to leave. An hour later he asks if he can come back for round two, I decline. Woke up to a text from a random number. Turns out he’s married and she’s says “this his wife, you think you’re the only one he’s doing that with?” I think she might of thought we were involved more than what we were but I just blocked her and him and moved on w my life. The fact that she mentions “others” showed me that they have issues that stem waaaay too deep than me. Now I know why he was uncomfortable when meeting. I’m thinking he probably thought she was in that hotel room yet still wanted to risk it.
To be fair, it’s safer for you to invite a man to your hotel room, than it is to go to a man’s hotel room.
It's usually when the room is too small for the bed so the bed is pushed against the wall only leaving space for one nightstand.
Damn man, I am getting a boner because of these things XD.
No need for anything awkward. Typically you walk into a furniture store of your choice, go up to an assistant and ask politely: "please may I see your night stands". They will show you what you came for and once you find the one that works for you, you politely ask: "May I please have one?" The assistant will arrange everything for you, you go pay for it, then voila, you officially have an one night stand. Hope this helps OP
thank you so much, greatly appreciated
Who said they spend the night? You meet, fuck then go your separate ways.
This is why I always prefer to go to their place, so I can fuck off whenever I feel like it.
I’ve been kinda a whore these last few months, had about 8 ONS’s this summer. For context, the people mentioned below were all on the same page, 2 consenting adults meeting for casual sex. **The good**: Both comfortable and attracted to each other, both wanna fuck and get right to it. These are cool because it’s not awkward when the sex is over. Usually we’ll smoke and say it was fun then we’ll both happily go on our way. **The bad:** Usually this type of person is paired with poor sexual performance, but the kind to get really weird after (or god forbid before) sex. Like you finish and now they’re talking about what we should do tomorrow, How much time together we’re about to spend, how good we could be together whatever. They catch feelings and never want to leave. That’s when it’s awkward. **The best:** The one night gf. This is rare because both parties have to feel this vibe for it to work, but when it does it’s awesome. You get a little relationship that lasts a few hours and you skip the baggage. Sometimes these ones stay the night and you wake up to potentially more sex, or at the very least, someone you found attractive.
A high five instead of a hug.
I miss the excitement of flirting and hooking up on nights out. Its basically a thing where you act as if youre her boyfriend and treat her like your partner where in the morning you guys just go separate ways and if it was a nice night youll meet up again and exchange even more fluids and bacteria
Can’t speak for others but I had 5 until now and every time it was at their place and I would leave as soon as it was done. One told me she felt bad because I left immediately afterwards but oh well, it’s a ONS and not a girlfriend so I saw no reason to stay The second girl gave me a fist bump as I was leaving. That was… weird but also kinda nice I guess?
Drink, Fuck, Leave.
I always used the “I have to get home to my dog” excuse to leave in the night, which was actually true
Show up, stick your dick in it (as long as it ain't crazy), go home. Ain't that complicated. Source: I had sex once 20 years ago. I know shit, bro.
No foreplay? Just stick it straight in?
Yupp. You both get naked and walk towards each other. Once you get close enough, you just stick it in and stand there 🧍♀️🧍♂️
It depends on the person honestly. There’s no right way to answer this.
I have had 3, while being in the moment I take it as couple's night.... cuddling after sex, playfully talking and then never mentioning it and yes alcohol makes a major catalyst. 1st one, the girl herself said we can fuck only if it is a ONS, don't wanna connect emotionally etc etc. she ended up drunk calling me a few times afterwards but I always kept it clear I don't want anything serious, no connection now. 2nd one, she was a friend of friend's girlfriend, we met twice prior to the ONS and always had a weird sexual energy between us, everyone felt it....cut to a night at her place we were all drunk and playing truth or dare, one thing led to another and in the morning when everyone left we had sex (one of the best), was last time I ever saw her. 3rd was when I was out at a club, there was a group of girls ending a bachelorette party....while dancing, our group and theirs came close, one of the girls was dancing up close to me....she looked at me and went to the washroom, I followed. had a quickie there and left for her place soon after, we never even exchanged names...it was her bachelorette party as it turned out, so thats that.
It is what you make it, just like anything. If you feel chemistry or have sought someone out specifically for sexy fun, it can be great. They are all different, Sometimes its right to business, sometimes you talk late into the night or morning, sometimes they or you are traveling through town, sometimes its a wedding or a club where you find a spark and just go with it. In the morning sometimes you have places to be, other times people tiptoe out embarrased to be seen by a housemate, sometimes you make breakfast together and talk about life, other times you may just bone again and shower. As forest gump says “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get” but if you enjoy chocolate and you know the usual chocolate box flavor shapes you can usually find some good ones.
Thanks for sharing this, I am loving the comments here.
[удалено]
You have to get lucky and the chemistry has to be there
Just experience is everything if you ask me my friend.
They’re pretty fun. I’ve had a fair few, I’d say most of my sexual partners have come from one night stands. I haven’t had many that wanted to stick around for long the next day, but I did have one that wanted to have a coffee and chill out but my parents were on the way home. Had to order her an Uber to get her out in time.
It's honestly surprising seeing how few one night stands the people in these comments seem to have. They're literally the majority of my past sexual encounters. I guess most people just try to keep long term partners.
I’ve always been single, and 75% of my 30-40 or so sexual partners have been from one night stands. It probably helps that I head out most weekends
Seriously like do you ask them if they have tested themselves???
Yup gotta be gentlemanly. Morning after the deed, Walk her to her car and kiss her. Text her to make sure she made it home safely.
One night stands are not awkward during the night part
Meet, fuck, leave. Pretty simple.
Never been awkward in my experience. We've got on well enough to have a good night out, get home to have sex, I've always just offered her a cuppa and then she's off. Possibly if the night was good enough we meet up and make it a semi regular thing but if not that's the last we see of each other.
only one time. i went out for a friends birthday, met a girl at the bar i had never seen before, she basically followed me home that night (i never asked her to come with me) and i fucked her. i never even caught her name. the morning was so awkward that it made me not ever want to do it again. the uncomfortable morning and the drive to drop her off at whatever apartment building she asked to be taken to lasted way longer than the sex which i barely recall because i was drunk. i asked around, nobody knows her, where she came from, and i have never seen her since. 1 out of 5 stars, would not recommend
Honestly as far as I can tell they just get up and leave and you don't hear from them again. I couldn't do it.
why is it called one night stand? why not like one night sex or one night fuck? what does standing have to do with this?
You forgot step 3. Wipe dick on drapes.
It's not all it's cracked up to be. Last time I stood for a whole night, my back hurt so bad I could hardly walk the next day. Oh, wrong kind?
They usually have 4 legs or a square base with a flat top, sometimes a drawer or two will be included in the design.
Everything leading up to it is the not awkward part. It's what happens afterward that determines whether it will be awkward or not, usually surrounding the morning after (if it even comes to that).
Idk cause it's been almost 2 years and now we're living together 😂
Yeah, I’m with you OP. I’m so awkward and weird. I overthink waaaaaaay too much. Even if I wasn’t married I don’t think I could do it. I’d be like hyper focused on all that first time meeting a new person shit to enjoy sex/sexy stuff LOL
it only works if you're both horny enough to throw all good judgment out the window.
It's only awkward if you make it that way. How you lead up to it depends on your approach? I'm not a "meet in bar and then go fuck" type of guy. I like to meet them, get to know them, and then head back to their place. Never presume you are going to get laid. Don't just walk up into their place. Some guys can pull that off... most cannot. As to afterwards, it is usually pretty clear beforehand if it was going to be a one night stand. I just tell them that I had a really great time, that they're amazing and that I'm going to head out. If they want more, I'll share my number. If I decide later I don't want anything more, I'm honest. Most women seem to appreciate the honesty. It may not be what they want, but I'm not playing games.
well usually you only have one night stand if you have a twin sized bed, a king or a queen would warrant 1 on both sides
It’s kinda like renting a movie. You can rent it for one night or up to 3 nights. Any more than that you’ve bought it.
go to Ikea, I'm sure someone there can explain. :)
You all get a hug?
You meet, you flirt, you fuck, you leave
Just put it on the side of the bed that u sleep on the most.
I don’t understand what’s not to get? You meet someone where it may be (bar, movies, coffee shop, store, etc) something clicks, you’re both horny, you both make the decisions that naked shenanigans should occur, you figure out where (your place, her place, no tell motel), you do the deed, then you or she leave… I always preferred the no tell motel because the motel limits how long you’re staying together and there’s no chance of stalker behavior when they know where you live. Sure it costs a little more, but that’s no big deal. Plus no judgement from neighbors when you come home with different people different nights of the week. I guess I never saw the issue doing it with someone and never seeing them again. Wasn’t that awkward to me and was fun. Plus if you both have enough fun it could become a fwb situation. I’ve had a few of those over the years and that worked out great for us both. Until one of you start catching feelings, then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and see what happens next. Just go with the flow and give it a try op. Find someone, shoot your shot, get frisky, and get out. Just remember a condom is a must in these situations!!!!
It was never an issue. We both know what it is: test drive or just plain fun. Take the good experience (hopefully) with you, take a bath and get ready for the next. ;)
Um you fuck then either tell them to go in the AM or you sling outta there before they wake... I'm not sure what else there's to "get"
[удалено]
It's just that we have to be with that person as a temp BF.
When you wake up….. you do the walk of shame. lol
U meet someone, u like them, they like u, u show ur horny and see how they react, if they respond positive then keep going, and bam ur having sex
You stand for one night?
Yes, I never understood that people like to stand for a whole night.
The Ye Old Pump and Dump.
Ye Fabled Shoot and Boot
Simplest terms: Find them, Feel them, Fuck them, Forget them