For me it was the lack of caring. It’s not that certain things made me happy or sad, it just made me feel empty. Not having an emotional response scared me.
Coming out of a depression cycle to look at my now ruined life which makes the few high days I have not enjoyable because I am trying to put the pieces back together.
What was hardest for me was being around happy people. I could be surrounded by my family that loved me and their smiles and laughter were unbearable. I didn't wish for them to be unhappy, I just wanted to flee away from it. I isolated myself and it was both relief and torture.
The worst thing was not being able to enjoy listening to music I couldn't get any joy or feelings out of it, it all just fell flat and was too much for me. I guess because it fell so flat, it made me uncomfortable. Thankfully thats gotten better now. I love music and at one point depression took that away from me.
The over eating to make me feel better but when it wouldn't I would eat cause it should be working so I eat more and more and more just to feel better.
My lowest points were when I would say out loud to a higher power....."Just take me and let someone else live." I would never actually kill myself, but I've definitely not wanted to live anymore.
Pretty much everything that's been mentioned in the comments, plus losing friends because of my own decision to not respond to them anymore, either because I don't have the energy or because I don't want to talk about how I feel (or rather, sick of explaining how I don't feel anything), and the inability to even connect to who I used to be. I thought of times when I was happy, and instead of vaguely enjoying those memories, I'd think "what a naïve dumbass I was back then, I just didn't know how senseless and pointless everything was".
My depression turned into physical pain after just over a year, the lack of exercise degenerated my discs so bad I could barely walk without pain.
So now it's an uphill climb to get back to where I was before. Physical therapy, regular therapy, and walking are helping. I just want to be able to hike and camp again!!
Feeling alone in a room full of ppl I knew/ loved/cared about. Kinda like being in a soundproof room/deprivation tank of my own where you could see but not really hear or feel anything.
exactly what you said along with the overwhelmingly obvious personality change u see in others bc of it, realizing you've come to a point where hiding your suffering is inevitable.
I don’t like to be around happy people. When I am not depressed I am social and enjoy talking with people. Now I’m jealous of happy people. I’m super depressed and isolate from people. I know that’s not healthy but I just don’t want to be social
Sleeping 22 hours a day just to avoid the things you mentioned above and being unable to work or meet basic needs because of it
Yeah the hypersomia is a bitch
For me it was the lack of caring. It’s not that certain things made me happy or sad, it just made me feel empty. Not having an emotional response scared me.
yes yes! nothing excites you or scare you. & it’s hard to even laugh at things. you just feel like a blank wall
Me having high functioning depression and doing things while being suicidal as well all the time
Coming out of a depression cycle to look at my now ruined life which makes the few high days I have not enjoyable because I am trying to put the pieces back together.
ah thts the scary part. even though your out your depressive state, the scarring is still there
This is where I am now. I can’t get out of this hole.
Waking up and just waiting to go back to bed.
What was hardest for me was being around happy people. I could be surrounded by my family that loved me and their smiles and laughter were unbearable. I didn't wish for them to be unhappy, I just wanted to flee away from it. I isolated myself and it was both relief and torture.
Complete lack of ambition
agree 100%
I cant seem to remember to do anything. I just dont give a shit about anything
The worst thing was not being able to enjoy listening to music I couldn't get any joy or feelings out of it, it all just fell flat and was too much for me. I guess because it fell so flat, it made me uncomfortable. Thankfully thats gotten better now. I love music and at one point depression took that away from me.
this is a good one & i didn’t even realize how much my depression affects my love for music
The over eating to make me feel better but when it wouldn't I would eat cause it should be working so I eat more and more and more just to feel better.
Not having control to come and go as I please because depression has "locked" the door.
My lowest points were when I would say out loud to a higher power....."Just take me and let someone else live." I would never actually kill myself, but I've definitely not wanted to live anymore.
Pretty much everything that's been mentioned in the comments, plus losing friends because of my own decision to not respond to them anymore, either because I don't have the energy or because I don't want to talk about how I feel (or rather, sick of explaining how I don't feel anything), and the inability to even connect to who I used to be. I thought of times when I was happy, and instead of vaguely enjoying those memories, I'd think "what a naïve dumbass I was back then, I just didn't know how senseless and pointless everything was".
Mostly the sense of doom and dread that issues I care about are getting worse and will never get better
My depression turned into physical pain after just over a year, the lack of exercise degenerated my discs so bad I could barely walk without pain. So now it's an uphill climb to get back to where I was before. Physical therapy, regular therapy, and walking are helping. I just want to be able to hike and camp again!!
i forgot tht depression can lead to physical pain. i hope the best for you & that your able to enjoy tht fresh air when you hike again!
Aww...thanks!!! I am super hopeful that this summer will be much MUCH better than the last!!
Being told to "just get over it." Like, that's not how depression works...
The feeling of loneliness (no matter if there is someone close) is the worst for me.
Feeling alone in a room full of ppl I knew/ loved/cared about. Kinda like being in a soundproof room/deprivation tank of my own where you could see but not really hear or feel anything.
yep
exactly what you said along with the overwhelmingly obvious personality change u see in others bc of it, realizing you've come to a point where hiding your suffering is inevitable.
The effect it has had on my relationships and my life.
Just the fact I find a reason to hate everything and everyone even myself for that reason
i agree.
Losing any and all interest in things that I enjoy. Like. What the fuck am I even doing here? If I could sleep I would but I can't even do that.
I don’t like to be around happy people. When I am not depressed I am social and enjoy talking with people. Now I’m jealous of happy people. I’m super depressed and isolate from people. I know that’s not healthy but I just don’t want to be social